Many, many years ago while managing a restaurant a very large man was seated one night at a four top with three other guests. That particular table had cute little chairs that were no match for him. Sure enough, the chair broke. I fetched him a more robust chair from upstairs. He was humiliated and offered to pay for the broken chair. I refused, and instead bought his dinner. Like all people, large, small, smart, dumb, whatever, he didn't choose to be who he was. Unfortunately, that reality clashed with the reality of operating a restaurant, where high costs demand a very efficient use of square footage. Also, dinner only lasts a few hours and we needed to flip those tables as often as possible. All this worked against him to create a wholly unintended result. It's no different today. We should all try to accommodate everyone in our society. We should all help those who are struggling. Keep on open mind. It could be you.
285
@Aurora. Thank you!!! As a handicapped person-- who can't slide into a booth even if I used a walker to get into a restaurant, rather than a wheelie scooter or wheelchair--- then finding a place for even a folding scooter, not wanting it too far--- what if I need the wash room? What if someone else needz to get by my seat? Fire? Dining out is fraught if you have kids, extra equipment, special needs--- so any accomodation or care to us is rewarded by our returning, sending others, tipping. them well and often becoming friends with the staff.
38
@Aurora No one chooses to be who they are? What does that even mean?
68
Wow, what a wonderful person you are. I will never forget your story.
30
I am 5'4" and weigh close to 300 lbs. (and my fats and sugars are fine, as is my blood pressure, BTW). A friend and I have brunch together after church almost every Sunday. She is also overweight. We always ask for a booth, so they must be bigger at our favorite restaurant than at others. I know the table is movable, because I sometimes move it. Personally, I prefer a booth, because one often has a whole seat and one isn't stuck in the middle of a room, overflowing a chair.
My pet peeve is getting the occasional funny look when I come out of a "handicapped" bathroom stall. Some stalls are positively teeny -- it can be hard to get past the door, and I need space to attend properly to myself. I live in an area with not many people, so there is pretty much never a handicapped person waiting when I come out. One trick I've found lately is the gender neutral bathroom, which is often a whole room.
72
My husband was not only obese but in his final years used a walker. The restaurant staff was always so focused on “hiding the fat guy” in the back of the restaurant, that they never even stopped to realize how hard it was for him to walk that far. It used to break my heart. I wanted to scream at them but I never wanted to embarrass him more by pointing out their thoughtlessness and lack of empathy. And still, he always was a great tipper because he had been a bartender in his youth and knew how hard it was to get by on a server’s salary.
158
The people in this article know they are obese. They are used to getting shamed for their weight. I don't know anyone who losses weight by being criticized. I will never forget my brother's wedding; his best friend sat down with us to eat and broke a chair. He probably weighs over 400 lbs. Then he broke another flimsy chair. It was a humiliation I will never forget. All people deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.
197
I worked in an addictions recovery center for some years, so I have a little knowledge about the complexity and challenges of overcoming overeating (not that all obese people overeat, but many do). Anyway, it seems there is a fine line between accommodating and enabling. The more you make something easier to live with, the less likely the person is to hit the metaphorical bottom and change his or her behavior. There are no easy solutions, because people have to eat, but I'm not sure normalizing obesity is the way to go.
339
@Anonymous
Absolutely. Let's not make it easy to be obese. Change only comes when there is a consequence to one's actions. Too fat to sit in a restaurant chair? Don't expect the restaurant to buy new furniture. Lose some weight. The problem is yours, not everyone else's.
Of course, some obesity is caused medically. But Most of it is not.
99
The obesity epidemic in this country is truly out of control. It's unhealthy for them and intrusive upon others. Our congress has failed to regulate the food and beverage industry which has turned more than a third of Americans into fat lab rats by pushing them to consume untested, high calorie, carb and corn oil rich, junk food.
95
It's disheartening to see so many nasty comments here.
Overweight people know they are overweight.
Many large people who have lost weight at least once have a drop in lipids which control hunger - and the worst part is that their lipid levels never bounce back to normal. (see: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html) And large people include some athletes (think of your football linesmen, weight lifters, hockey players, basketball players, etc.). What is so unreasonable about giving them and anyone else who might need some extra room, the space they need?
51
Being obese is unhealthy, ultimately life-threatening, and should not be acceptable. That being said, it is a reality that a large part of the population is obese and by not having at least a few comfortable tables/seating for them, we're essentially ostracizing them from society. When has locking a problem in a closet ever solved the problem?
If your goal is to mock obese people (to feel better about your own dumpster-fire of a life), then do not hide under the veneer that you are only discouraging the unhealthy lifestyle. If you truly want obese people to stop living such a dangerous lifestyle, you should be encouraging and supporting lifestyle changes. And that can only be done if we can engage with them in public.
28
If gross obesity as I understand it is an illness then why not just have restaurants comply as with any differently abled issues under the American's with Disabilities act?
10
I happen to be overweight; when I go out to eat
I never know ahead of time if I will fit the seat.
I avoid a booth because they're narrow as can be,
and often leave a welt across my prominent belly.
*
I'm used to chairs that do not hold my fundament too well,
and make me think I'm sitting on a cast iron barbell.
And bathrooms are another thing; why must they be so tight?
Getting in and out of 'em will take me half the night!
*
They give you tiny napkins when they ought to offer bibs;
I like to eat with gusto, whether salad or some ribs.
Do not presume to offer anything in "supersize" --
You'll get no tip from me if you should choose to so advise.
20
I am not overweight, but I am very tall, and agree fitting into standard seats is rough. Airplanes are torture, and I have to stand to let people pass in theatres, since their legs are too short to step over mine. I don't know what the answer is. I think people in general are taller and wider than in the past, so businesses might want to take note.
23
Odd, for I'm here thinking the entire marketplace has already been adapted to accommodate the obese and overweight. In furniture stores, for example, most pieces are designed wide and deep to accommodate an apparent 'normal' butt that's much bigger than mine. Modern plates and silverware, compared to the those our grandparents used, are huge. Men's shirt sizes have changed so much that I now have to wear 'slim cut' despite being 50 lbs heavier than when I graduated college and wore regular cut. I'm 5'10" and 185 lbs.
40
Like a lot of blue collar retirees, I'm pretty 'beat-up'.
I would not consider confirming a reservation without asking if they can provide me with easy access and upholstered chairs, they always understand .
Why not just ask them if anyone big has had problems with the seats they propose?
The only people that will ridicule you are doing you kind of a favor by quickly identifying themselves as jerks you don't anywhere near your life.
23
Weight-bearing items need to have weight-limit and width-limit placards, e. g. (to protect the manufacturer, the owner and the user):
toilets
seats
stools
benches
sofas
swings
amusement rides
public transportation & for-hire vehicles
bicycles
car seats
airplane seats
tour bus seats
9
The people who concur with this article should engage with the "food police" who force calorie counts on menus among other ludicrous things.
6
Why should anyone feel compelled to judge a person by his/her weight? It is what it is... I’m happy overweight people are flying and dining out and enjoying life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
45
Large diners are not the only ones facing discrimination. Single diners also face problems. I can walk up to the host and get stares, as in "what could you want?" I have to announce that I want to sit down for a meal. "Just one?" I am frequently given a table right beside the restrooms or the kitchen, or the one right beside where they stack dirty dishes. I definitely speak up if the table isn't satisfactory, so I don't see that it is a problem for bigger diners to state what their needs are. Yesterday, I was shocked when the hostess saw me approach and asked, "Table for one? " Then, gave me a very nice table by the window.
It shouldn't be a problem to quietly state you need a little extra room. The host or hostess doesn't want to make embarrassing comments, but it is stupid to pretend a problem doesn't exist when it is obvious. The Olive Garden used to have some armless chairs to accommodate the larger diners. Now all their chairs are armless. Maybe they cater to a lot of bigger people.
25
"The opera isn't over until the fat lady sings" --
Funny - right - ?
Except for one thing --
When I attended one of the major music conservatories here in New York City - back in the seventies - we had a number of young students - women and men - who were young opera students - some of whom - at the age of nineteen or twenty - were on their way to becoming that "Fat Lady" who sings at the end of the opera --
The young women were graceful, well-dressed, elegant - and often very attractive and - if I may say so in the era of #metoo - quite sexy --
And the larger male opera students did very well for themselves too - thank you very much -
Yes - as would be opera singers - those students received special training in poise and how to move and carry themselves gracefully -- probably training which most people do not receive --
They were also very perceptive and knew how to deftly manage a given situation to their advantage --
I became friends with a number them - and even casually dated a couple of the larger women due to our shared interests - and tes - I though they were attractive --
There is no excuse for the lack of sensitivity and awareness regarding large people -- and I bet if Luciano Pavarotti or Montserrat Caballé had walked into any of these restaurants - they would have literally ripped the tables out of the floors in order to accommodate them --
This is a topic which should have been put to rest decades ago --
What a shame...
29
Everyone seems to be pointing fingers at causes for obesity. Looking out at other countries in the developed world, Americans are clearly at the top of the scales, weight-wise. So, what is it? How do the French eat rich foods and stay thin? Why are people in London, SF and NYC generally thinner than people in Alabama or even LA and Fresno?
It's the cars, stupid.
Urban dwellers everywhere, in general, do much more walking, use more stairways, drive much less, if at all.
A higher percentage of Europeans live in walkable environments, even if it's in small rural villages.
Most Americans live in suburban environments that demand driving for every errand. Cafes, normally a place of socialization and conversation, are drive-thru in suburbia. Many suburbanites don't have access to any dining-out options other than chain restaurants, which often feature huge portions at lower prices rather than high-quality food.
If anyone has seen the documentary "Taken for a Ride," about the demise of public transit at the hands of auto and tire makers, you can see that removing transit not only necessitated driving, it led to sprawl development, more car use, and more unhealthy lifestyles.
We were sold a bill of goods when we were told that driving everywhere would improve our lives. It did the opposite, and now the health of the whole planet is suffering for it.
68
I am really amazed at the number of judgmental comments in the letters here. I’ve not seen such open prejudice against any group outside of white supremacist rallies and rhetoric ever in my lifetime. Why is it okay to assume obesity is unhealthy or the result of addiction or a death sentence or psychopathology or laziness? The science on this simply does not bear out your assumptions, so stating your judgments as truths is merely engaging in unthinking and uninformed prejudice.
Most of the letters here exhibit exactly that. People who would be ashamed to say that restaurants don’t need to make disabled people or ethnic people welcome are very clear that fat people do not need to be welcomed. People who would squirm to show their hate by saying people who are disabled should not get health insurance coverage because it costs everyone else more money don’t hesitate to say that about fat people.
So here's some things you need to ask yourselves to counter your knee-jerk prejudice. In a society that is so hateful to fat people, which thinks it is morally justified in being so, do you really think anyone would choose to be fat? Do you really think anyone knows what causes obesity or how to prevent or reverse it? And are you really, really sure that 1) obese people are less healthy than non-obese ones and 2) that somebody else's health is any of your business?
46
Good heavens, the fat shaming here is so sad and mean spirited. Not everybody is the same size and they never will be. I dated a guy who was 6'8 and he had major problems trying to fit into spaces built for less tall people. The poor thing had to scrunch into the average shower. My current kitchen was built for Lebron James. At 5' 5" I have to use a step ladder to get the items on the top shelf. Stop shaming people for what you feel they should be. Most heavy people would like to lose weight. Some succeed and some don't, not for a lack of trying. I watched my grandmother balloon out from the medications the doctors placed her on. She never lost the weight after she went off the meds but continued to eat mostly vegetables and really never ate junk food. She did enjoy a few Fannie Mae candies when she got them as a present.
42
I work in healthcare and have noticed that it’s harder to find stretchers and CT scanners for obese people. Recently we had to send a patient to the aquarium to get a CT scan as they can fit larger sizes. It’s also hard work to move them before a procedure, place IV lines and intubate aureus. The list is long and I often think some brilliant hospital or clinic will offer all health services designed only for the obese.
13
I am a big girl. Not fat, just tall and proportionally larger than most people. Faced with buying dresses that are built like tents and pants that were always floods, I learned to sew for myself. I pay for more leg room on planes. I often buy men's clothing. Fortunately many clothes are pretty androgynous.
Chairs also sometimes are problem for me, and also for my mother who is normally sized, but elderly. Cafe chairs and stools without padding are a nightmare for her. Three restaurants closed nearby in the last year, and not because the food was bad or any obvious service issues. I have (also normal-sized) friends who didn't go there because they didn't want to sit like that, and I agree.
More to the point, if you own a restaurant or are a chef, why would you want to treat your customers like that. I believe they paid for thinking that way.
15
Obesity is a disability and organizations need to help individuals who struggle with it and not ignore them. I'm amazed at the lack of empathy from most commenters. Geez!
20
"He did take the backs off the bar stools at Maialino, his restaurant in the Gramercy Park Hotel, after a regular who is very big said they weren’t welcoming. "
So where am I and my bad back supposed to have a drink at this hotel? Good to know I cannot.
12
Of course, we should accommodate people's needs where possible but there are other issues to consider as well. First, restaurant chairs are already getting larger. As a petite woman with a bad back, I find it difficult to sit in these gigantic chairs, especially if they have arms, or in a booth, either of which leave me a mile from the table and without a back I can lean against. In addition, space is not free. Restaurants in cities like New York need to fit a large number of diners at a time or else increase their prices dramatically.
16
Not sure what the solution is for this problem, but I would point out, as someone who is not large, that in situations where seats and tables are fixed relative to each other, having a table that is too far away is also not the most comfortable dining experience.
12
Very few restaurants, zero airline seats, and a limited number of theater seats or other public places are ever comfortable for me. Oh, and I love to travel but hotel beds, well, that's a whole other topic. Truth be told, I'm not even comfortable on most of the furniture in my own home. No, I'm not a large person and I'm not legally recognized as having a disability. I live with chronic back pain (mechanical issues that can't be "fixed" with a surgery or a brace), and a few other ailments that play along with that. No one can SEE my hidden issue so being upfront about it is the best I can do, and it's still not something that can be always be accommodated for. The world is filled with designers who just adore using public seating with straight lines and hard surfaces. I just navigate within it the best I can and avoid the places where I've learned that I am not going to be comfortable.
10
I used to smoke - at the time I would have probably loved an app that showed all the smoker-friendly places around. If someone made such an app I doubt the Times would run an expose celebrating it. Smokers exist, obesity exists, alcoholism exists. There's no easy answers for any of us. Genetics, predisposition, lack of self-control are major aspects of every addiction/compulsion.
17
I'm a formerly morbidly obese person. At 5'3", I weighed over 300 pounds. (I"m now 150-ish). Can we take a moment to discuss how chain restaurants serving huge portions of fried food are partially responsible for this? I don't begrudge the morbidly obese from having a pleasant dining experience, particularly at high-end, white-tablecloth restaurants, but the average entree at a chain restaurant comes in at almost a full days calories. That's before the appetizer, dessert and/or cocktail.
No one should be shamed because of their size, but the food industry, particularly those chain restaurants (e.g. TGI Friday's, Appelbee's, Chili's, Outback, Bahama Breeze) -- all those that ring the mall in most suburban areas, need to downsize their portions and accordingly, downsize their prices.
A serving of meat is 3-5 ounces for most women - not 10-20. Portion control was one way in which I lost my weight.
25
Boy, I am astonished at the lack of sympathy shown by the comments toward fat people! I basically agree, but being fat myself I would ask people to be compassionate if you haven't fought a weight problem, but, much more importantly, where is the indignation for all the other people in our society who aren't pulling their weight? I only wish the readers of the NYT were as clear eyed about every other "disability" and bad outcome that is the result of personal choice. How come fat people don't get to be victims like everybody?
10
We humans have been hard wired to store fat as once upon a time when we were living in caves, we did not know when our next meal was coming.
We were also hunter, gatherers. Now we don't have to work as hard to eat and burn off calories. And we were never programmed to eat processed sugar and flour products. Sodas and cheap carbs are making us fat and killing us!
7
People's relationship to food is often like their relationship to money: very personal.
Too many people find comfort in eating, so of course, they want to be comfortable when they eat.
Too many people use food to feel comfort and momentary happiness. The more unhappy you are, the more likely you will eat more.
For many people, food is a coping mechanism. If you struggle to cope, even with the simplest of things, overeating will distract you by tricking you into feeling good.
I won't dare mention the genetic propensity to overeat, which often rears its ugly head at a very young age. Some people are just large and round, and no diet is going to fix that.
Reading about this "universal design" concept makes me laugh. Real estate is outrageously expensive here. A restaurant would have to charge a fortune to offer the space that a 400 pound person requires.
I hate to admit it, but shaming worked for me. It forced me to look in the mirror and ask myself: Is this fat, sedentary lifestyle worth it? I tipped the scales at 300 in high school. If you want to know what real shame and insensitivity feels like, ask a fat child. Eventually, I came around. I wasn't unhappy being fat. But I'm much happier fitting into tighter spaces now. If only I can find a decent restaurant that allows me to hear my fellow diners.
17
In the great tradition of every single article about treating fat people with kindness and empathy, many commenters here seem to believe that they're actually reading a giant banner that says,"Obesity is healthy, morally superior, and should be promoted across society! I demand the world change to accommodate me accordingly! Debate me!"
Hot tip: That's never what the article says.
12
Many public accommodations are getting smaller as Americans get bigger. Large or obese people often spill beyond the confines of their own small seat (concerts, ballgames, buses, airplanes). I understand that someone who is obese knows that they are obese but that doesn't help seatmates whose experience can be substantially diminished through discomfort. For every obese person who buys two seats there are 50 (a wild guess) who simply either cannot afford it or do not think of it and potentially cause discomfort for others. Kudos to any restaurant or public mode of transportation that cares enough about both the obese and average sized customers to accommodate both.
12
IF ONLY
The myplate.gov had hired English majors to explain that each meal should include: protein, fat,carb, and fiber.... I would not had to have wasted my time with such a painful experience. The balance of the right type of each macronutrients was a lightening bolt of Great information on living a healthier life.
My wife and I are close friends with a married couple: he, a pharmacist; she, a (disability-retired) RN. When they married, he was slender and athletic, with a running style that resembled nothing so much as a shuffle, but covered a marathon in under 3:30, a 7:30/mile pace. She was, if anything, willowy, in their wedding pictures. Today, some 30+ years later and 20-some-odd years into a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis for her, she can aptly be described as "pillowy." An electric scooter is necessary for any travel distant more than a few normal steps, and even then, a walker is an absolute essential. No idea what her current weight is. Don't care. It is immaterial. Would she be more mobile if she had maintained her "willowy" body habitus?
Don't know. It's immaterial. The fat cells that have accumulated as her physical abilities deteriorated were not deposited in her brain. She is not her body.
To become obsessed with one's body, be it fat or be it enviously perfect, diminishes one's ability to be who they really are. If you are your body, you are missing out on the true pleasures and meaning of life.
26
This is what my husband and I deal with when considering a restaurant...he uses a wheelchair. Different yet similar. Trying to navigate smaller venues with tables placed close together, not wanting to knock things over, feeling like a spectacle, having to explain to staff why high top seating just will not work... It should not be this difficult for any patron.
10
First of all, thank you to the woman who purchases two seats on an airplane. Secondly, on open table you can make a request which can be anything from eating outside or at the bar. Larger people might say they are a bigger person and need more space or a bigger chair. And just like they have high chairs for kids, restaurants should have a few larger chairs stored somewhere for those who may need them. I am a normal sized person, but I think there are little things both sides can do to avoid an uncomfortable or embarrassing situation.
11
As others have pointed out, it is not just those who are overweight who have problems. Short legs, back problems, knee problems can make sitting on a backless bar stool without good leg support impossible...tables squeezed so close together both side by side and across from one another that make it difficult for even "normal" size people to pass through without disturbing the previously seated patrons---forget if you are large or in a wheelchair. While respect for the diner should be an indisputable given, the rest needs rational discussion. Where to find the compromise between the diner's comfort and optimal use of limited space is the practical issue that needs to be addressed.
4
I don't understand why people are unable to deal with a variety of solutions to help larger people find places they are comfortable to eat. I'm a fairly big guy, at 5'10" and 200lbs considered "overweight", but I have a totally similar requirement unrelated to my weight: A couple of ruptured discs. That means booths are usually incredibly painful for me but tables and chairs are usually fine.
So imagine, all of you condemning obese people for seeking restaurants they can be comfortable in, if you were condemning people with a disability or an injury for wanting a comfortable restaurant seat as well.
Like LGBTQ people, fat people are some of the last frontiers of bigotry and discrimination.
16
Being physically identifiable black African American carries the historical costs and benefits of their enslavement and separate and unequal like no other American status.
Obesity is akin to that feeling. I notice when an obese person is looking for a seat on an airplane, concert, theater or sports venue. I dread them sitting next to and crowding me.
I am ashamed and embarrassed to feel this way. Particularly when the person is sensitive to my feelings and seeks to comfort me.
14
Motivation to lose weight, aside from simply enjoy more out of life as a result:
I don't see many obese folks in Senior communities.
7
I have seen and heard people fat shamed so many places. and the shamers should be ashamed of themselves, not the large person. (There are also many people who are not necessarily large but for one reason or another need different treatment who are looked at askance.) Once a friend was fat shamed while in line at a grocery while buying lunch for a group. My sister in law has an illness that causes serious weight gain. another friend takes life saving medication that causes enormous wieght gain. However I don't care what the reason is. Everyone deserves dignity
18
The gigantic serving sizes at many American restaurants are contributing to the obesity epidemic.
15
I loathe articles like this. While I'm glad they shine a light on basic humanity issues that need to be discussed, they also invite the inevitable pile-on of "healthy" people who feel the need to wag their fingers.
Funny thing is, dysfunction comes in all shapes and sizes. In my business, I deal with all kinds of people on a very personal basis, some of whom despite their thin, "normal" appearance have some very serious pathological issues. They are not "healthy" by any means....but thank goodness, at least they're not fat!
Is it really so crazy to ask that restaurants offer minimal accommodation for larger people? Not necessarily whole sections of XXL tables but at least a sturdy chair that can be moved? Is that really outrageous?
I've been in many restaurant booths where even my thin husband had a tight squeeze.
16
Yes. Simply yes. I am a fat old woman, fit because of a commitment to walking and exercise - and fat. Kim Severson's perceptive and respectful writing is a gift to those of us so often marginalized in regimented body-obsessed culture.
11
We all need to take responsibility for ourselves. That includes controlling our weight. We cannot and should not expect society, in general, to cater to the individual if that person becomes obese. Apart from unique circumstances, it is "calories in and calories out". An astounding proportion of Americans, over 30%, as I understand it, can be considered obese. Apart from their discomfort in settings detailed here, there are medical reasons why they cost Americans a great deal of money.
Please, to those who are obese, consider food intake and exercise in so far as you able. Typically, this is a self-induced situation. Deal with it. I can give only limited sympathy.
65
I'm all for designing public spaces to accommodate larger people, particularly on aircraft. All the more room for me! It's a win-win for everyone.
15
Losing weight isn't simply a matter of "calories in, calories out." Our bodies are programmed to prepare for times of famine, and when people try to lose weight, their metabolisms slow to a crawl, in an attempt to hold onto the extra pounds.
I have learned to have empathy for the overweight and obese, by having to deal with people's rude comments about how skinny I am.
Some of the comments in here demonstrate the callousness and unfairness overweight/obese people have to deal with. Some of you need to lose some meanness, and gain some compassion!
32
I understand (as much as anyone who has never been more than 20 lbs over the "ideal weight" for their height), empathize and sympathize with those who wage a constant war with their bodies. The hospice where I worked in the years up to retirement once sent me to admit a woman who weighed well over 600 lbs, which was down from he maximum of something over 800. On another occasion we had a man over 500 lbs on our service. Both never failed to apologize for the "inconvenience" their body size presented, apologies that were unnecessary.
But... Isn't there always a "but" hanging out there?
My wife and I were headed on a long weekend vacation in Vegas. The plane was full except for one seat, on the aisle beside me. It was already a couple of minutes past the scheduled time to pull away from the gate and I was thinking my wife and I would have more comfortable than usual trip to Sin City.
Then one more person entered the plane, and those thoughts vanished. The gentleman lumbered (yes, lumbered) down the aisle, put his carry-on bag in the overhead bin and, since the aisle side armrest is fixed and cannot be raised, reached across his seat to raise the armrest separating the aisle and middle seats. The stewardess appeared with a seat belt extension. Neither passenger nor stewardess apologized for any "inconvenience" I might have to deal with for the next 2 1/2 hours. He and I never spoke to each other. My wife and I just looked at each other. What was there to say?
33
Just as fat-shaming is wrong and judgmental, I think it is just as unfair to shame restaurants and other business for not going out their way to accommodate a particular type of customer and making the judgment/assumption that they are being discriminatory because they don't. Private businesses have the right to make choices and run their restaurants as they choose, which may mean losing or not gaining customers. These decisions don't always have to reflect a political stance or social cause.
Many people like to look at restaurant reviews for the quality/type of food, location, or atmosphere, and I think the app this article mentions is brilliant that people can also look for specific space accommodations. One reader commented that the customer will vote with their dollars and it's possible that eventually business will start hurting if they don't accommodate a larger public, and so be it. However, to make assumptions that restaurants are deliberately trying to discriminate or deter larger customers without any basis other than they have smaller booths and cafe chairs, isn't much different than assuming all fat people are lazy.
20
The overt and overwhelming hostility expressed in the comments is disturbing.
Society makes all sorts of accommodations for individuals. A little kindness to offer someone a table that better suits them isn’t ridiculous, nor unreasonable. That 200lb person you’re belittling just might have worked for a year to have lost 50 pounds, or might be on a steroid medication that’s playing havoc with their weight.
Get a grip people, and try being just a tiny bit nicer.
45
While travelling in Kentucky I saw that some restaurants accommodated large people by adding a 'plank' which widened the seat . This adaptation seemed to be easy and effective .
Restaurants need to consider more than just 'larger' people. I went to a booth only restaurant when I was 8 months pregnant and didn't fit at a table (there were no chairs). How would someone in a wheelchair fit there? Or in a place where tables are on top of each other?
15
I am not sure that "fat acceptance movement" is something we should embrace as a society. Personal responsibility is the "movement" that is dead in this country as well as the "Death of Common Sense".
Unless someone has a medical condition that precludes them from maintaining a normal weight we have to agree that personal choices are the cause of the weight problems in this country.
I do not believe most restaurants are inadvertently create environments that are difficult for large people. Restaurants today can accommodate 95% or more of adults easily, it's just when you get to extremes that the model breaks down. I also believe these business want all their customers to be comfortable and enjoy themselves.
I would suggest that anyone who CAN make personal changes to their lifestyles by exercising, eating healthy and eating less and embrace the "personal responsibility movement" is far better off than accepting the "fat movement". Your life will be longer, with fewer medical needs etc.
44
Interesting article and it reminds us that people vary so much in ability and shape. There are many small people out there who have silently dangled and stretched at tables for years.
Planning ahead is sensible and making do is fine. Please be kind to staff. You are not at war, merely eating a meal out.
10
To be fair, a restaurant is in the business of making money and two main factors in that are table turnover and seating capacity. Accommodating larger customers ultimately means cutting the latter.
Having worked in restaurants for years, I’ve seen the shame on customers faces who have been “too big to fit” in a booth or at a bar seat so I understand the problem, but there does need to be a line drawn somewhere in order to balance public accommodation and private business decisions...
15
On an international flight last year, I scooted into my seat next to an elderly lady who was sitting in the aisle seat. She looked me over and said "Oh good, you're slender." I shudder to think of the judgment I'd have suffered over a 7 hour flight had I been a heavy person. I'm all for health and fitness, but I can't know what's behind someone's size, and it's not my business. Life is hard enough for all of us, let people have their dignity and eat in peace.
31
@MountainFamily I wish more people were similarly thoughtful
3
Obesity is bad, terribly bad, for one's health and longevity.
If diet is not the issue, ask your health care provider for guidance, assistance and referrals. Reducing weight will lead to a longer and happier life.
21
Oh my, the mine field this article presents.
Two thoughts.
The success rate for significant weight loss is somewhere in the neighborhood of 5%. Most people who loose weight, will, sooner or later, gain it back, and then some.
People experience a lot of shame in our society for being fat, so we can assume they are highly motivated to lose weight. Given the social pressure to be smaller, the failure rate is too big to simply attribute to personal failure; there is more to this story than we know at this point in time. Expecting people to just lose the weight by not eating isn’t going to do much good to fix the obesity epidemic.
Meanwhile, we each of us get one body. For all its perceived and genuine flaws, it’s what you have. It’s your body, so live in it.
19
I'm very sorry to hear this. I never want anyone to feel out-of-place, or anxious about he or she moves around in and through the world. I'm small - barely 5-feet tall - and I frequently feel unsafe, or sometimes even unseen, especially in a big crowd of people. I also work at a wedding venue which has very beautiful Chiavari chairs - google them - and every so often, a client calls me because they are worried about one of their guests. No one wants to be unhospitable, and this article is making me think more about how we can and need to anticipate the needs of others. Thank you for publishing it!
13
The article was well written and identified an issue that needs to be resolved. Ralph Nader devised seat belts to save life’s. Everyone who goes to a restaurant and pay good money to eat have an American right to enjoy there meal in comfort and I am sorry the restaurants should be aware that most individuals are not a size 8
Treat all people no matter there race religion age size with dignity and respect. No one eats at a restaurant for free.
4
@Tony "Most individuals are not a size 8"? What are "most individuals," then? It isn't an American right to eat out. Don't be ridiculous. We don't even have an American right to health care or free education.
11
The saddest part of the whole story is 40% of Americans are obese followed closely by many developed countries (the top 10 has at least 25%). It cannot all be due to metabolic or other medical diagnosis and makes one wonder what is in the food supply or environment. I have obese friends who try their darndest to lose weight and keep it off but almost all of them have health problems as well. Health related problems are over 20% of all the health care spending in the US.
14
I am a small woman and I am often uncomfortable in many public locations due to the larger seats that have become a trend in this country. I don't expect the world to make everything lower and smaller to accommodate my smaller height and weight.
28
I agree. I’m barely 5 feet, 90lbs and struggle with grocery store shelves, overhead bins on aircraft, heavy revolving doors and will never dunk. But I’ve never expected anyone to make accommodations for my size.
14
Admittedly, this is one of the reasons I use Open Table when I can, and also arrive early to the restaurant. In open table I'm quite clear that there are to be no booths or high-tops. While I fit into most booths, I'm not taking the chance of being stuck sliding in. But high tops are the worst: rickety tall chairs that as a shorter person are already hard to get into without a boost from the table or a neighbor & if I need to move out of the way of someone I have to get off/down and then go through it all again.
This isn't just an issue at restaurants, of course. Worse for me is the chair at the hair salon.
1
How about the fault of the restaurants started long before there was a seating problem.
I have a restaurant that serves me 2-3 times what I need to eat, loads up my food with salt and sugar and fat, and charges me more to eat healthy than to eat junk.
It's one thing if I want to eat 2 meals, that's my right, and I should pay for it. It's another for a restaurant to shovel terrible food down my throat, dressed up like they're doing nothing wrong.
11
@D Collazo
go to a different restaurant. most restaurants in Manhattan serve too little (for the price). in NYC, the more you pay for a meal, the less food you get (go to Nobu).
3
I don't think this problem is just about body size. I've frequently encountered problems at Portland area restaurants when dining with the disabled and elderly. There are many occasions where our family choose a restaurant not for it's food but for it's ability to accommadate everyone's need. And this isn't just an issue about the physical space in the restaurants, sometimes Portland servers can be very unkind and unwilling to help.
2
@Louisa My dad has a walker. My sister-in-law has a walker and developmental disabilities. Here's what we do: If it's a new restaurant choice, we call ahead and ask about the situation. I say, "My dad has a walker- is there a table that would work for us?" Depending on the answer, we go there or somewhere else. This isn't rocket science, people. If you have an unusual situation and you're not sure it can be accommodated, plan ahead.
3
I think it's great for there to be social inclusion of as many people as possible. There are always people others don't want to see or accommodate because those people make them uncomfortable for all kinds of reasons (size, race, religion, gender expression).
How about we start with inclusion and kindness instead of exclusion and judgment based on speculation?
3
Every restaurant needs:
1) To be built in ADA-compliance, able to serve people who use power wheelchairs as well as smaller mobility devices.
2) To have chairs without arms to fit larger people, but ALSO to have larger chairs WITH BACKS AND ARMS, because older and/or disabled people of all sizes have a much easier time getting in and out of chairs if they have arms to push off from. Simply giving all larger people backless stools is not a solution, either.
3) To make all needed accommodations without shaming the people who need them or acting like they're doing anybody a favor. Accessible public accommodations are the LAW.
5
@Katie And who is going to pay for all of these different types of chairs? Should the restaurant hold these tables for larger/old people on the chance they might come in?
6
The reason obesity has increased so drastically over the last several decades is largely attributable to the devolution of our food supply, both in terms of an increase in quantity and a decrease in quality. Although the social network effect of obesity--like that of infectious diseases and gun violence--certainly contributes, our nutritional environment has undergone much more radical change than has human nature.
That being said, obesity should be clearly identified and treated as a pathological state; I don't have the space to list how each one of our biologic systems is negatively impacted. Although we should not shame or ostracize obese individuals, neither should we prioritize further altering our environment to normalize and, in the specific case of making fast food restaurants more accommodating, exacerbate this unprecedented public health crisis.
It has taken years to reach the current impasse and will take many, many more to improve matters. For starters, we should recognize that this is a legitimate national emergency and work together to improve our food system so that our current and future generations are saved from this vicious cycle.
16
Feeling bad for an elderly obese patient in a doctor's office I requested that if he couldn't get a chair large enough to seat her comfortably he should at least put in a bench. He did. Then another I sat next to complained that his scale only went up to 300 pounds and she never got a correct weight there. I suggested to the doctor replacing his old spring scale with a higher calibrated digital one. He did. Now if only buses had special seats or even church pews. Slowly but surely we can all help make changes to accomodate the larger people among us. What goes around comes around.
2
And another thing... when are restaurants gonna quit being so LOUD? I avoid eating out as much as possible because I cannot tolerate all the racket, especially when sharing a meal with others. Relaxed conversation in most public eateries is virtually impossible these days.
18
I read this article from a my perspective as a product designer who has to consider accessibility in my designs. When designing anything, you want to create something that will work well for your user, but the rub is the fact that you can't always anticipate who your users are going to be, and any design decision you make contains tradeoffs that affect other users. The users who are the least common are known as 'edge cases'. Some edge cases you have to deliberately decide not to support. So for example, you might have a consideration in your design for an issue that affects 5% of your users, but you might decide not to support an issue that affects <1% of your users. At a certain point, you need to define a cutoff and say "We would love for this to work for 100% of all people in an ideal world, but in the real world we settle for designing something that works for 98%". A restaurant similarly, even a conscientious one, would probably analyze their clientele, and come up with a seating design that works for the vast majority of them. This approach, still, will fail some customers, and that is unavoidable.
6
Posters are saying that we should encourage people to eat less. But every time a small suggestion is made: healthier lunches for kids, smaller bottles of soda—everybody raises a fuss.
6
There are indeed many reasons people are very fat. Low income plays a role. A lot of people can't afford to get to shops that have fresh produce and can't afford to buy it. They get their stuff at neighborhood places that are stocked up on fattening junk. Coke, Pepsi and other sodas play a huge role in obesity. In some countries, soda got its hold because clean fresh water was even more expensive. Basically, a lot of the American food product makers bear the same responsibility cigarette manufacturers do for the diseases tobacco causes. Yet producers say, who are we to say what people can choose to eat. Capitalism.
8
I have harbored negative thoughts about overweight people since grade school. By which I simply mean that my reactions over time have probably been no different, neither better nor worse than those of anyone else. Today however, I mostly feel saddened about the obesity epidemic, especially remembering that growing up in the 70s, there was precisely one "fat kid" in my entire elementary school. Believe me, the abuse he took for having such a different physique was staggering and I hope that heavy kids today are treated better but I have no evidence either way to speculate. I would guess that with the epidemic of obesity wreaking havoc with our health these days-and particularly on rural areas similar to my own, large people are more accepted and accommodated because they are simply everywhere; they are among us.
So my reaction to this article is not dissimilar from what I felt about women soldiers being given (finally) the green light to participate in combat: It sure did not feel like any kind of victory but rather made me truly despondent about our fate as a human race, that we were, as a society, applauding this new found right of a woman soldier to fight (and die) next to a man. There was no way I could see "progress" in any of it.
So while I'm happy for the oversize folks that there's now an app to help them find accommodating restaurants, I am rather despondent about what it means to our future that it has "come to this." It is pyrrhic to say the very least.
12
I’m slim and I can’t count how many restaurants I’ve been to where I barely fit and always say ‘how does a heavyset person get in here’. The same goes for the restrooms which are usually in these same places.
6
Given the inevitable cornucopia of shaming and attacks on the "shamers," I thought I'd offer this overview:
1. As can be seen here, https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/obesity-prevention-source/obesity-causes/genes-and-obesity/, it is simply not true that genetics are a prime cause of obesity. And despite the cult like proponents of "only veganism" or "only paleo" or "Only the Mediterranean" (or "only whatever"), virtually every study conducted in perfectly controlled conditions (subjects confined to a hospital, for example) shows that when you eat fewer calories, you lose weight.
Sounds like perfect support for the shamers, right?
no.
2. Behavioral researchers have found, consistently, over more than a half century (and recently popularized by Dan Buettner's "Blue Zone" research) that the single most important element for behavior change is support - whether support from other people or environmental support.
2a. Well, we live in a world which provides 24/7/365 support for unhealthy eating and limited exercise. Despite the fact that it is theoretically possible to lose weight and maintain the weight loss simply by choosing to eat healthier and exercise appropriately, it is nearly impossible for most people given the support for negative habits and lack of support for positive ones.
The takeaway? Do what you can individually to maintain healthy habits, and do whatever you can to help contribute to a world that supports these habits.
www.remember-to-breathe.org
11
@don salmon
Excellent points. People need support. I have maintained that if in 2009, the ACA had, instead of subsidizing overpriced health insurance premiums (while doing nothing to bring those premiums down), bought every single American who wanted one, a gym membership-with some subsidies to help get them there and keep them there and some help for the gyms to keep memberships affordable. Imagine what ten years of working out would have done for America's waistlines.
1
Airlines and now restaurants are becoming aware of the issues regarding very large people. Now theatres need to consider seating for very large people in the ways they consider seating for handicapped people. Too small seats result in spread and draping into seats adjacent to the larger person's seat, which creates discomfort and awkwardness for all concerned.
3
@NYC Citizen There's always On Demand!
Obesity results from an addiction to eating, a coping mechanism which often seems the result of emotional trauma or inability to handle stress. But like other addictions, obesity does not respond to shaming. In fact, shame often leads to greater depression, which leads to more eating... you see where this is going. Shaming people does not have the effect that (I hope) people intend: to spur change. Obese people sometimes need help, resources, and support. Sometimes it is hard to get. But what all people need while they struggle through thorny emotional issues is empathy. And patience. And maybe a little respect. Just because you can't see the injury, doesn't mean it's not there
2
Now restaurants are supposed to provide “fat seating”?
Obesity is now a national epidemic, and as a country we’ll be seeing a tidal wave of diabetes and heart disease in the next few years. You think we have a healthcare crisis now, with Medicare going bankrupt?
You haven’t seen anything yet -
So sad to see what government food policies and a lack of personal responsibility is doing to our country.
17
"For people who identify as large, plus-size or fat, dining out can be a social and physical minefield."
This is such odd language. I'm around 150 pounds. Can I identify as fat? My father has clocked in 250+ ever since he became disabled. Can he identify as small, minus-size, or skinny?
Are we talking about individual identities or actual physical issues that people have?
8
I'm 50 pounds over weight and have been bigger. I've been considered and treated as fat my whole life. It's no fun, and it's not easy to control, but for most people it is within their control, including me. I worry that enabling us will just lead to more obesity. Plus, I get exhausted at McDonald's trying to reach my food in booths where someone who is still 50 pounds over can barely reach the table. It's ridiculous. But, we live a world where personal responsibility is a thing of the past.
3
How ironic that restaurants continue to serve plus size portions without taking into account where the customers who have been eating those portions are going to sit. It makes me think of how the Shakers, who don’t believe in procreation, have nearly disappeared. Except that the Shakers have always been aware of what they were doing.
2
The current food pyramid is a bust. Our Government subsidizes sugar, corn (read sugar), wheat (celiac disease): examples of the the root cause of the increase in the obesity/Type 2 diabetes epidemic. 60+% of Americans are overweight with 40% obesity rate.
Speaking as one who has never really had a weight problem, I do not understand how one can look in the mirror daily, see they are gaining weight, visually leaving more "normal" people behind, visit the doctor, notice their decreased mobility as a result of the weight gain, and not get the clue something is drastically wrong.
It is the choice WE make when and how much we consume. The Government has not helped, quite the contrary. Industrial farmed mass-produced, genetically modified for shipping, vegetables available in the produce section of most supermarkets lack any flavor. Even squash is bland and tasteless. However, most of the fast food restaurants use chemical flavor-enhancers (both taste and smell) which switch on the dopamine in your brain to select their food, even though it isn't good for you. Look around. You will see a picture much different than in 1964. I chose that as I saw a PBS show on 1964, where many shots panned Americans in black and white of all ages, and they were normal looking. Not now. Only on the illusion of TV and movies do you see "normal" looking people. A cross section of America today is an exposure of the obesity epidemic, everywhere you look. Medicare for all? Really?
4
@LaPine Obesity results from an addiction to eating, a coping mechanism which is often a result of emotional trauma or inability to handle stress. But like other addictions, obesity does not respond to shaming. In fact, shame often leads to greater depression, which leads to more eating... you see where this is going. Shaming people does not have the effect that (I hope) people intend: to spur change. Obese people sometimes need help, resources, and support. Sometimes it is hard to get. But what all people need while they struggle through thorny emotional issues is empathy and courtesy. Just because you can't see the injury, doesn't mean it's not there
1
I have two very heavy (obese) friends and to tell the truth i do not always invite when I have a dinner party. We have to squeeze around my dining table. Also I’m always afraid one of my chairs will break. I enjoy their company but not for dinner.
9
Of course, I am sympathetic to people with weight issues. I am aware of the many issues that have contributed to their current physical state.
But, riddle me this.
Have you ever sat down next to one of these folks, particularly in an airplane seat, or at a crowded lunch counter?
7
One certainly understands the logistical necessity for her idea. It's really fantastic that our modern service economy can accommodate marginal populations As a tall person I've strained my back in elevators where the buttons are too low, so I'd like my smart phone to connect to the elevators control system. I hate having to bend-over like the number 7 in a dark crowded Chelsea elevator. Is there an AI calorie counter on her app? Still, if climate operations attempting to prevent the melting of the Greenland glaciers and the Arctic fail, seating rights for Big & Tall people at restaurants may have to be put on hold. Home delivery would have to suffice, if you can find any food, that is. Apologies for being a reality-check bummer but forward looking statements sometimes have that effect.
2
Most insurances and Medicaid pay for bariatric surgery. How do the obese pay for the tens of millions they cost the healthcare system per annum? They don't. Fat is not a disability. An MD.
10
People should do it and then learn healthy habits. I’m sure the cost of healthcare would decrease exponentially.
2
Good grief! I have never seen such unkind, mean comments. I looked at this article as one dealing with customer service. And with all businesses making their money from customer service, the more people you accommodate and the more people you have return, the more money for your business. If I owned a bar, I would take the large cocktail drinker and appetizer orderer over the skinny water drinker who orders lettuce with no dressing any day. And the age of instant feedback, why would anyone want to rule out the 40%? I find the sanctimonious scolders more offensive than the idea of accommodating larger patrons. And from my experience over 50 years, my larger friends are no more sick or more consuming of healthcare than my skinny friends. Enough already!
8
Can you call in advance and work things out. As a vegetarian I don’t want to stand out even at a steak restaurant. I just call ahead and work things out with the management.
5
This is a sad story. Not sure how we can deal with this, but certainly not by making it normal being obese.
Obese is not normal. Now I think 70% of the American's are overweight that is a national emergency right there.
10
About 20 years ago, my business partner took me out for lunch to celebrate my birthday at a popular restaurant in San Francisco. I weighed about 260 then; he was a tall "beanpole." We were seated on wooden chairs that looked a little flimsy. At one point during the meal, I shifted my weight slightly and the chair collapsed beneath me. Tom was absolutely mortified and worried that I had hurt myself. As I got back up from the floor, I told him "You don't understand. If the chair had collapsed underneath YOU, you could have been hurt. Because I'm fat, my body will roll and incur much less damage."
2
When I first read this article, I admit my gut reaction was to think "Why don't these people just try to lose weight?" Then I realized that I have no way of knowing why these people weigh as much as they do- maybe they have a disease or illness, or an injury or chronic condition, or even just particularly cruel genes.
It's easy to blame fat people for being fat, and ultimately it is usually a result of the choices people make that leads them to become obese. However, just take a minute to consider just how ubiquitous junk food is in modern American society. You can't leave your home anymore without being confronted by a vast array of candy, soda, baked goods and booze. Grocery stores are literally designed to facilitate the impulse purchase of candy and treats at the register. I lost about 20 pounds over the course of last year, and it was pretty difficult even though I'm pretty physically active. Can we really act surprised that people are gaining weight when unhealthy food is now more ubiquitous in this country than ever before? It would appear that obesity is a side-effect of late stage capitalism.
At the end of the day, my restaurant experience isn't hindered by having establishments accommodate larger guests, so why not just put forth a little more effort to meet them halfway? Having arms on restaurant chairs is a dumb idea anyway.
4
If I had a dollar for every time i heard a European make fun of "fat americans"...
A family member sent this to me saying it's "controversial". I do not think it is. I also don’t think that making room for the reality of larger people in America is enabling them - or causing harm to other diners. Making public spaces more accessible is also not mutually exclusive with trying to get the national waistline smaller, right? Those two things should go hand in hand. I don’t agree (with said family member) that making it easier to eat in a restaurant has anything to do with food addiction. It's certainly one of the reasons people of size are so vilified. I think it’s a really unfortunate stigma that is hard to shake. It’s easy to make fun of large people for protesting that their seats are too small! I wish we could understand inclusivity in a different light.
1
Many here are attacking the 'fat' people that cannot fit into standard seats or booths. While I don't think obese people are attacking the restaurant for accommodating them up front, the article is not written that way - reason for negative comments.
No society should not be forced to modify itself to meet the needs of a few, but that's exactly where we've been heading. We need to do our best to be inclusive, to be accommodating, without it being a 'law' or 'regulation' that hurts everyone including businesses mandated to meet the new 'inclusive' law.
At the end of the day, people that are obese know it and most are not happy with it and would like to change. But change is very hard and criticism doesn't make it happen quicker. Quite the opposite. So for all those that attack the obese in the comment section with their holier than thou attitude, back off. For those irritated by the article because it implies that the restaurant is at fault, I agree with you. It's not the restaurant's fault. The article was poorly written, but it's okay to sympathize with both the obese patron and the restaurant with no legislation or new rules or social media call outs that hurt the business.
3
My mother, who was born in 1935, was obese from childhood. Not chubby, not "pleasingly plump," but obese. She managed to slim down a few times, but when she died in 1978 at the age of 43 from obesity-related liver disease, she was 5'10" and at her heaviest weighed 265 pounds. She endured lots of stares and occasionally cruel remarks. Today? She probably wouldn't get a second glance. That's not a good thing.
276
"Chairs with arms, or impossibly small seats".
Actually, they're pretty roomy for this Brit now living in Portland. But seeing the amount of calories you could eat in an average American day, if you so wanted, then yes, it's no wonder those chairs are feeling tight.
The lady is size 30 - that's dangeously big. Perhaps smaller humans, not bigger seats, is where we ought to be aiming in the long term? And that I guess starts with taxing the heck out of fast food, and removing sugar.
Do you realise that it is all but impossible to buy bread without sugar in America?
War on Sugar!
20
Okay, let us discount the myriad health issues that could make a person overweight and say for argument's sake that all fat people are fat due to their own poor choices, shoving donuts in their pie-holes while the rest of us sensible people nibble on kale.
So they don't deserve any accommodations since it's their own fault. Okay. But what about people who are injured doing very dangerous sports? Or the drunken idiot who breaks a leg falling down the stairs? Well, the ADA covers them, so!
In a decent society, we take care of the "least" of our members, even if we perceive that it's their fault for getting into such pickles in the first place.
6
@Arvay That's not it! It's just that there are so many people demanding special accommodations...it's getting absurd. We ALL have special needs and likes and dislikes. But we live in a society and majority rules. That's just how life is. Yet here we are trying to normalize everything.
5
I travel to Houston often, and dine out in mildly upscale restaurants. I have a problem I would like to see addressed: as a thin person, I find chairs without padding difficult to sit in for very long. After a few minutes, the dining experience becomes torture to my tailbone. If I ask the waiter for a cushion, I receive a strange look, and am told there are none available. A restaurant that really wanted to be accommodating could surely keep a cushion or two on hand for their skinny patrons.
42
Agreed. I am a thin man with a very bony rump because I lose weight pretty continually from crohns disease. A cushion would be so nice.
3
Please don't make the solution to remove bar stool backs. That kills my back.
55
@Mr. Voice-of-Reason -
They're also dangerous. You're higher up, and, without a back, you're more likely to fall off (a particular issue for those who spend more time on the bar stool than they should!).
5
On the topic of size, as someone who is 5’2”, sitting on a stool is very uncomfortable because oftentimes the foot rest is too low leaving my feet dangling. I also don’t know why any restaurant thinks it is a good idea to offer people stools to sit on for a meal. Whether you’re 6’0” or 5’2”, sitting on a stool, especially one without a back, for a meal is not ideal. A table and chair or a booth are much better and appreciated. Lastly, rounded backed chairs leave women without a place to hanger their bags-no we do not want to put our purses on the floor.
3
Perhaps they should be designated as "handicap", then special seating would be available/warranted. But to just start making everything bigger is ridiculous.
As a small/fit person, I'm tired of giant patient gowns, giant wheel chairs, giant gurneys, etc. (noting we all should be happy to pay the extra fees to cover these "adjustments" in our healthcare industry...)
I'm tired of every restaurant offering fat-free, diet, low-carb... I'm tired of endless weight-loss ads, apps, diets, etc...I'm tired of never finding a size small, but flipping though endless racks of L, XL, XXL, & XXXL. (just think about that? is there a S, SM, XXS - no!)
From my perspective, we've actually become a world that caters to the "larger" folks in our society...
80
@BeTheChange
Can you be specific about how a large gurney, or a large chair, is an inconvenience to you?
I absolutely agree with you that there should be many more options in clothing and other needs for smaller humans. I have two very small aunts who always complained about having to shop in the children's section -- they should have had more options, because forcing adult women to shop in a children's section is wrong -- but that is not the fault of larger people. It is the fault of a fashion industry that refuses to address the needs of all of the people who need clothing (which means everyone -- large and small -- who isn't a nudist).
3
Perhaps you cannot find a size small because they are sold out? So that's not a problem with too many large people... It's too few, or put another way, the store attracts a lot more size s than they expected to.
3
There needs to be a Green Book of sorts for Rotund-Americans-- listing which restaurants have adequately-sized chairs that do not feel like they will splinter into matchsticks if you so much as blow your nose, which restaurants have booths that are too low or too narrow, and which restaurants will have you bumping shoulders with your fellow diners due to lack of space.
Frankly, I've been to many restaurants where even average-sized people complained it was cramped.
7
@Alexander
I believe the All Go app is what you are talking about once it is rolled out nationwide. Also is it really fair to say overweight people need a Green Book? Being banned from locations based solely on the color of one's skin (which one cannot change) is not the same as the inability to fit within a chair because of one's weight. People can lose weight by monitoring their food intake and exercising.
1
This is the continuation of the "Blame Game". Restaurants cannot accommodate everything. First, everyone wants to tell the restaurants what to put in their food. Now, how to design their restaurants or figure out if you are too big to fit in a particular space. No successful restaurant wants to be rude to customers, but accommodating 400 lb. customers can be both time-consuming and space-consuming. Airlines and restaurants are not at fault for not accommodating the unusual size of a customer. Anger directed at these institutions is silly.
74
@SF I think airlines are not only not accommodating unusual size customers---they are not accommodating average/usual size customers either! I am six feet tall but very slender and I find riding in coach excruciating, especially if the person in front puts the seat back.
4
Someone in the comments mentioned that being obese is the result of an addiction, to food. Truth! We do not generally see the devastating effects of alcoholism or drug addiction readily, it’s only when we see a drunk or a junkie high on the streets that we SEE their addiction!
When one is addicted to food it is obvious to everyone! People stare, people are rude and mean. But...you can go home drink two bottles of wine every night and no one at the say....office, knows that you are a drunk!
Unless YOU are perfect, and last I heard, no one is......STOP passing judgement on those who struggle each and everyday with food addiction! All of us, have something we struggle with, all of us.
Be kind!
32
@Mari thank you for putting my feelings into words! Everyone struggles in some way or another. We don’t know the underlying causes when people gain weight. More kindness and compassion is needed in this world!
4
You’re describing habits, not addiction. Habits can be broken, addiction is a disease. True addicts seldom have office jobs.
12
No one wants to be overweight. If you think it's simply a matter of being lazy and gluttonous, you're simply mistaken.
This is a quote from a NYT article about how the "Biggest Losers" gained the weight back.
“The key point is that you can be on TV, you can lose enormous amounts of weight, you can go on for six years, but you can’t get away from a basic biological reality,” said Dr. Schwartz, who was not involved in the study. “As long as you are below your initial weight, your body is going to try to get you back.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html
16
It’s math, calories in should be less than calories expended until down to a manageable weight.
8
@RW
Actually science has proven that you can choose your own weight. It's called thermodynamics and it is accepted as fact. You are referring to a person's tendencies to make choices that drive their weight upwards. If you have lower than average cortisol levels is it inevitable that you can't get to work on time in the morning? If you have a lot of testosterone are you inevitably going to make sexual remarks at work? Show some respect for human potential. I presume that everyone has the intelligence and the ability to control their own impulses.
8
@RW
Isn't this where willpower kicks in? I am not overweight but I am prone to high cholesterol and high blood sugar (Type II diabetes) if I don't watch what I eat. I love fries, jalapeño and lime nacho chips, cheese popcorn and other junk food; I do get cravings but I can't and don't eat these foods any more. I wish I were young again so I could eat any and everything with no consequences.
6
Keep the seats the same size
Encourage people to eat less and exercise more so they can fit into them
61
All one has to do is travel overseas to realize that we are obese as a nation. I need to lose a few and overseas I feel beyond fat. This is an issue we should be made to feel more uncomfortable about, not less. The restaurant industry, as well as the corn lobby, as well as out own government, are all culprits in this epic fail. As a teacher, it is downright criminal what we feed our youth as compared, for example, with the French. I don't know if shame is enough to swim against the tidal wave against the processed nightmare of garbage we put in our bodies, myself included. After working all day, it's just too darn easy to hit the drive-through. But for crying out loud, this editorial is beyond.
88
@Diana
I'm in Germany right now. Europe makes me feel like a porker.
16
"For Larger Customers, Eating Out Is Still a Daunting Experience"
Um, Lebron James is "large". The woman in the picture is obese. By censoring our language, we're making it harder for these people to face the fact that they have a major health problem that will needlessly undermine the length and quality of their lives.
153
@Ed Watters
Here's something that you might find interesting. Fat people are told every day, in so many ways, that they are fat. They know it. They (We) know it every day we try to buy clothes, when we get judgmental looks on public transportation, and when we are misdiagnosed by doctors who can't see past the weight.
Thanks for the tip -- we know.
14
I'm generally progressive reading articles like this makes me think conservatives have a point. This is snowflakism run amok. Expecting businesses and the broader public to accommodate the consequences of their flagrant excess is a bridge too far.
119
I think the solution lies somewhere in between more exercise and less food.
Can't really expect society to adapt to you, it's all you adapting to society baby!
17
The system is terrible. This hits home as my husband being of larger weight has trouble in most restaurant booths and tables. The worst was when he was asked to leave “for being an embarassment” at the B.Good chain on the Mainline. If you’re familiar with healthy eating, you’re familiar with B.Good’s mission. But to kick out a man trying to eat healthy because he’s an embarassment to your culture?
I know the Mainline is pretty critical, but what’s with all the “hate has no home” here signs in front of your millionaire dollar walks? I know that mission also has nothing to do with weight, but let’s think of the word hate in the most practical sense here. It seems contradictory to me.
20
All of these comments saying that people should lose weight are kind of missing the point. People who are fat still need to eat. They should still be able to enjoy a meal out with their friends or family or go to the movies or attend a concert or whatever. Do you just expect fat people to stay home until they've lost enough weight to satisfy society? I hardly think having larger seating will encourage people to gain weight. If that were the case, everyone would be the size of their living room sofa.
26
@Julia Z
It is fine that they want a place to go. The free market is there to provide this. Patronize places that cater to the obese and they will proliferate. The point is don't expect all restaurants to cater to a pathology.
3
I am 5'2"and weigh 115. I don't complain but I feel like seats swallow me up. It's not possible to please everyone.
10
Yep - even smaller & I don’t demand footrests!
2
Why is this piece written with an air of disability? As someone with a legitimate disability I can't stand to be lumped in with things like this. Disabilities (like from a stroke which I had) are things that cannot be helped- you CAN help being fat, even in America. And in this woman's case morbidly obese. Why in the world should we accommodate someone that size? Obesity is not a disability!
83
Obesity is a disease. It is a disability. Losing weight is not as easy as you might think.
3
There are many ways to define a disability and the physical and mental impediments to losing weight certainly could come under that classification.
Anorexia is an often-fatal, difficult-to-control, shame-related mental health issue.
Is everyone who is fat-shaming in these comments assuming that it can be cured by telling sufferers to "just eat more"?
3
You should pay for what you get.
If you take up more room in a space that is limited, you should pay more. So in places like airplanes and small restaurants, if you are fat, you can reserve--and pay for--the extra space you require.
If you aren't paying for what you get, someone else is. Is that really moral?
And please spare us the "what about wheelchairs" routine. Equating obesity with disability is just profoundly insulting and infuriating for actual disabled people. Have some dignity.
36
@J c
Dead on.
My father lost a leg to polio as a teen, during the Depression. When we could afford a better leg, he could stop carrying a cane.
I never heard him complain about staircases.
9
How soon before companies and restaurants just get fed up and close .
5
So, let's consider a plus-size booth - it is similar to having a chair far back from the table, which may not be accomodating for a non-plus size person whose arms are not long enough and whose 'seat' is not large enough to anchor them when leaning forward. So, the question is, how many plus-size people have to wait because the booths are too small vs. how many non-plus size people would have to wait because the booths are too big? Do we install a fold-down leaf on the booth bench for when a non-plus size person sits there, put the onus on them?
I'm not trying to be ridiculous, just pointing out some realities missed by the article. This mentions that Americans are more and more obese, which is not good for our health or our economy, but poses it as something that should be accommodated rather than addressed. I'd rather have us put money in downsizing people for their own good and that of all of us - if they need medical help in doing so, give it to them, but we also eat more than others do.
I had a middle seat on a flight and was very unhappy when my 2 very large seatmates showed up - husband and wife who had the window and aisle seats. I suggested they should take the window and middle but they thought differently. Between the 2 of them, they should have bought 3 seats, or downsized - I'm sorry the guy in particular felt mortified, but I was the one stuck in the middle: what if I had also been oversized?
19
“It puts the onus on the fat person.”
Well, upon whom else should the onus be put?
- The restaurant? It's a private business and it should be able to design its own seating. It should also not have to see its customer count and profitability suffer due to assigning more square footage per diner, reducing its seating capacity.
- Other, norm-weighted people? With said reduced seating capacity, wait times will increase at popular restaurants, wasting time.
- The courts? I would not invest a penny of my money with a stockbroker who'd rather file a lawsuit against White Castle than simply eat a burger at a restaurant that COULD accommodate his size.
- Politicians? Passing more laws will only accelerate and amplify all of the above: expenses and lost business for restaurants, longer waits for customers, and endless lawsuits that stuff money into the pockets of the lawmakers' attorney buddies.
- Everyone? Yeah, subject us to all of the above AND push our insurance premiums higher to pay for the increased medical bills associated with obesity.
30
I won't ever sit in a booth either as I'm skinny and the table is often so far away as it is that I practically have to eat off my lap.
11
Most restaurants find ways to accommodate patrons in wheelchairs, it shouldn’t be too big a step to adopt the same methods for others.
4
All that the restaurant usually has to do for a wheelchair user is to move a chair or move a table. That's much less of a problem than having to buy specialized bariatric furniture.
6
I'm sorry but perhaps these folks should be eating out less often and so improving their health (and their waistlines). It is not up to society to accommodate individuals' addictions--in this case an addiction to food, restaurant food being one of the unhealthiest, due to it's reliance on cheap unhealthy oils and other fats.
22
The notion that every business needs to be pre-prepared to cater to every imaginable variation from the norm is insane. So if I'm a restaurant owner, am I expected to have obese-friendly seating? Must I also provide braille menus? A sign-language interpreter? Vegan options at a steakhouse? Sugar-free desserts at my ice cream shop? Lactation rooms? Nut-free pecan pie? Stroller parking? Rawhide bones for support dogs? Photosensitive mood lighting? Hummer-friendly parking spaces? Where does it end?
Coming soon from the NY Times: a woke trend piece on hair salons that fail to accommodate the bald!
51
@Johnny I get your point, but I work with deaf-blind folks who use wheelchairs. It's always a pain to find a spot where we can sit, chatt and enjoy our meal. There is a difference between people with disabilities and people who are obese. They should not be conflated.
3
@Johnny
Thank you. This was hilarious, especially the woke piece part. :)
"The notion that every business needs to be pre-prepared to cater to every imaginable variation from the norm is insane." Same strategy as the PC police.
6
@Johnny I think you are supposed to have braille menus and an interpreter available. Being blind and deaf are quite different than being obese.
3
Obesity is a collusion between irresponsible consumers, immoral corporations, and ineffectual doctors and government. It is an enormously wasteful, recent tragedy, and a major one. In these ways it is not dissimilar to the climate crisis.
29
All the sympathy in the world should go to the people with unhealthy eating habits / addictions but we should be careful not to normalize behavior that is fundamentally self harm.
32
Is there that much difference in providing space for an obese person (perhaps involving a different chair) than there is for providing space for a person in a wheelchair? Is not the later something every restaurant has already encountered?
1
But wait until you tell said fat person that they have to be seated in a designated area that can accommodate them...
10
Heart disease is the #1 leading cause of death in America, cancer is second. Much of this can be linked to obesity and the use of tobacco products. Smokers are marginalized for health reasons. Perhaps "plus size" people should be too....or at least not be enabled by the restaurant industry to squeeze into a booth and order those fries.
14
It's sad to read a piece like this in a reputable publication such as the Times. Food has become one of the most acceptable forms of addiction in our society, partly due to profit margins for food and clothing companies. And the "it's my hormones" argument goes so far. It isn't the responsibility of the businesses that offer a seat such as restaurants, buses, subways, airlines, etc to accommodate the obese--would anyone accommodate a heroine addict with a needle sticking in his or her arm? It's the responsibility of the obese to own the fact that their eating and exercise habits are a problem that need addressing. Whereas some publications, including this one, can't report enough on the adverse health effects of obesity such as diabetes, heart disease and cancer, this article implies that the obese should love their bodies and is basically normalizing a terrible addiction the bill for which is paid by all taxpayers. To call anyone who stands up against this horrible health epidemic prejudiced is twice as bad. People can't change the color of their skin, or their gender, or sexual preference, etc. Most obese people have a choice that they should exercise first and foremost for their own well-being.
17
It’s not easy. I only weigh 110 with my shoes on but I have friends who struggle with this.
2
American restaurants shouldn't focus on making the seats bigger
They should focus on making the portions smaller
Problem solved
26
I am overweight by a 100 lbs. When led to a booth, I say, "I'm not going to fit there. Do you have a table?" When I board an airplane, I ask for a seat extender.
I am large, I want to be comfortable, I have to be pro active on my own behalf. I can't expect other people to figure it out for me.
16
@Nannygoat. Seat belt extenders are also useful for persons who have had abdominal surgery, which of course could happen to any one of any size. I had less.problem with that need than flying home after breaking a leg, needing a special "search" for TSA, and being so hassled BY TSA that the pilot had to intervene and bumped me to First Class, spoiling me for regular flights ever after!
“We’re in the early stages of this movement about fat acceptance and body positivity, and you’re seeing it in fashion and on television but not so much in restaurants,” he said.
Most restaurants today were designed for body types typical of those in the 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s. I'm not that large, but even I have trouble being comfortable in one of these booths where you have to squeen into, but are we ready to redesign restaurants to accommodate larger people, or do we need to look at eating less processed foods.
If you think restaurant seatting is bad, try flying.
3
Obesity is a very tricky problem. In many cases, it is related to another health issue or to trauma in childhood. In fact, the whole ACEs movement began with the discovery of this connection in a Kaiser obesity program, as patients reached healthy weights and promptly regained all they had lost. It turned out that a huge number of the re-gainers also had a sexual abuse history.
So we must have compassion for morbid obesity-- it can arise from experiencing early life trauma, which is not at all the patient's fault. On the other hand, normalization of extremely unhealthy body sizes is not the answer. We need to have two track thinking that knows obesity is miserable, unhealthy, and extremely expensive to society, while also recognizing the humanity and pain of those who suffer from it.
Re air travel: there ought to be an option to purchase a wider seat for those who can't fit in a regular seat.
9
@Megan -
"Re air travel: there ought to be an option to purchase a wider seat for those who can't fit in a regular seat."
There is. Premium Economy, Business Class, First Class - all have wider seats than regular economy.
5
The most damaging consequence of obesity isn’t medical but social, specifically fat-shaming. I was obese for decades, not because I was a glutton or lazy, didn’t know about nutrition, etc., but because of childhood emotional abuse, yo-yo dieting, and the binge eating disorder that grew out of these. At the age of 72, I wear a size 16 and am technically just below the “obese” category. I maintain this weight eating about 1000 calories a day. I was able to reach and maintain my current size through bariatric surgery plus, more recently, a medication that controls binge eating, which, it turns out, is similar to OCD. The condescending advice to eat less and exercise more if you want to be comfortable in restaurants, or even to stay out of them for the years it would take you to lose enough weight to fit into a booth, is stunningly cruel. Fat people already face limited romantic, friendship, and employment opportunities, the fear of public scorn (I’ve had men make barking noises at me on the street), and more. Where’s the empathy, commenters?
38
As a largish person myself (but taking positive steps to resolve it) I get that this is a hugely difficult and personal topic. But as some of the other commenters have said, restaurant accommodations are the least of the problem. "Living in a large body" is a silly characterization of a serious problem. Ditto for "large framed", "BBW", etc., etc. Being obese will always shorten your life and will impair you with the life you have. We all know that diets don't work and its insulting to suggest one. I also get that not everyone has health insurance, can see a doctor, etc. But someone with a BMI above 35 or so needs medical treatment just the same as if they had a broken leg or cancer.
8
@Larry
Diets do work -- when accompanied by weight/health appropriate exercise.
Been there, done that.
Lost at least a pound a week on the Scarsdale diet. Did I feel hungry? Yep, until my desires "relaxed" and accepted the new regimen.
That was 40 years ago. Never gained it back.
6
[[Many chains have added movable furniture, wider booths and chairs that meet industry standards for people who weigh as much as 400 pounds.]]
Obesity has become normalized. It seems to me that younger and younger people are getting fatter and fatter. Young women often can barely walk and appear winded from basic tasks.
And it seems like poor people tend to be fatter. If there's one thing you can do for yourself to enhance your chance at succeeding li life, it's lose weight.
9
30 years ago I weighed 250 lbs. I went to buy a pair of pants and discovered I could no longer fit into a size 36. I didn't buy a pair of size 38, instead I walked out of the store and started a 3 year adventure to lose 100 lbs. I did it! 30 years later while I have gained about 20 of those pounds back due to getting older and a slowing metabolism I am still comfortable. And still exercising!
24
I was very surprised to read about the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) being invoked on the basis of obesity.
Turns out, as defined by the ADA, a disability is a legal term, not a medical one. If a person is physically or mentally unable to perform one or more major life activities, they are covered by Title I of the ADA if they meet other criteria.
I don’t agree that dining out, or having a hobby that involves destination eating, qualifies as a “major life activity “.
Yes, eating is a major life activity. But obese people that physically don’t fit into many restaurant chairs and bar stools are clearly able to eat. From many of the comments I’ve read here, it seems that people claim that they cannot help but be obese, and that they have no control over their weight.
To people who believe this, I suggest a perusal of the 1st Law of Thermodynamics, which addresses the internal energy of a closed system. It is a physical impossibility, ie, it is against the laws of physics that a person cannot control their weight.
They may qualify as disabled mentally (emotionally) - but again, is eating out in a restaurant really a “major life activity “?
That said, I believe that restaurateurs and hosts should be accommodating and gracious to all customers.
In my opinion - disclaimer, I’m not an attorney - there isn’t a legal obligation here.
It’s a human kindness obligation.
5
Here is the problem:
If restaurants, and especially airlines, are required to install such seating, all customers are likely to bear the increased cost.
14
my friends come in all sizes and abilities. My pet peeve is restaurants that have "happy hour" specials that can only be enjoyed in the bar, which is comprised of bar stools, booths and/or high top tables, all inaccessible. Some places will give us the discount in the "dining" section with accessible tables, and some have told us that they just can't bend the rules.
1
@Margaux. As a double amputee, I get this from waitress'often. I cannot clamber up on the ridic height seats at the ski lift level tables. So sorry to offend these places delicate sensibilities, let them live MY life for a few.days. it's obnoxious, and discriminatory.
1
I'm sympathetic to larger folks who just want to enjoy life eating out or having a drink in a bar. But I'm also concerned about what's next on the disabled list that might affect public places that will have to spend more money to accommodate the next disabled category. Restaurants have a failure rate of 50% a year and that makes spending more money to accommodate every niche of customer difficult.
2
I don’t understand how it could cost so much.
1
An economic solution: It would cost a restaurant owner more money to have larger tables and chairs, since that would allow less customers in the restaurant. Perhaps people sitting at these larger tables should get charged more for their meal to offset this?
4
I'm now 69yo, and still short at 5-feet tall. Shortness has always been who I am. When sitting in a standard sized dining chair my feet are suspended at least 2-inches about the ground, unless I perch on the edge of the chair. Sitting in a bench is worse. The table rises just at my breast level, there is no way to perch on the edge of the seat in order to gain height while balancing with my feet on the ground. Well, that's ok. When I phone ahead for a reservation I demand a corner table and I sit in the corner because it gives me a place to wedge my cane that I now use. Long ago my family and friends realized this and if they make reservations it is no different.
7
@Susannah Allanic. Get a chic folding cane and stash it in your bag, no need for wedging. You can also get rubber cane bases that allow the cane to stand on it's own. If you ever need a walker, a "Travel Walker" folds not only inwards (in 3 sections) but also has bungy-corded legs that fold UPWARDS, making it stowable in an airline overhead, small car, or on the back of a motorcycle, where I stash mine. Freaks people out when we pull into a Handicapped space, but so many people have asked about it, seeing how useful it (and the step stool short amputee me uses to get On the bike!!!-)-- and then being able to tell others how to get more mobility.
@Susannah Allanic I completely agree! I'm 5-feet, and my nieces and nephews - to their delight - tower over me. I HATE going to the bars with colleagues - those darn barstools are difficult for me to scale, and my feet dangle like I'm a 12-year old. No seat for me, thank you very much, I'll stand!
This is going too far, and it’s creating a problem where there is none. Are restaurant manager and hosts expected to read the minds of customers? Does every single seat have to be 100 percent accessible to every person on the planet? Some restaurants are poorly laid out — too crowded, or whatever — and when I am booking a place to eat I take that into consideration. When I was in a wheelchair I made sure to tell the restaurant that I was, so they would give me a table I could roll up to. I’m taller than average, too, and feel panicked if I am too crowded, so I avoid places that will put me in a too-tight table or on a precarious bar stool. If I refuse a seating assignment because I don’t like it, I am not going to complain about having to wait for another (unless there are other tables available and the host is acting vindictively, which is another matter entirely). So if a person of size is booking a table (or has instructed her underling to do so), wouldn’t it be considerate and wise to alert the restaurant that a freestanding table was needed because one of the diners is a big person? Is this really something that needs a specialty app? When you use an online booking service, there is a space for alerting the restaurant to special requests. For restaurants where a person actually picks up the phone, you can call ahead. I suppose if this makes large people feel better about dining out it’s all good. But I am not convinced that it’s necessary.
4
I love eating, I enjoy the different tastes, I enjoy the soothing effect food has on my mood.
I also know that I need to aim for a 2000 calorie a day diet. I also know that without exercise I will not be healthy. I also know that I need to cut back on bad food, limiting and moderating what I eat.
5
When I hosted and waited tables a few years back, it was advised to place larger people at a table instead of a booth where they would be more comfortable.
Every time I did so, the diner observed the empty booth and asked to be seated there.
So go figure.
3
I have a different restaurant suggestion to generate revenue while providing a healthy service: provide the ability for patrons to order half size meals-and, even if you aren't required to list calorie counts for all meals by law, list calorie counts for meals that are healthily within diet range even if only in half-order size, e.g. 400-500 calories. And include suggestions for calorie-free and low-calorie sides like steamed asparagus with seasoning, steamed broccoli with garlic, lemon-dressed green salad, shrimp cocktail, seasoned chicken skewers, and fruit-infused waters. A dying America is not a dining America.
6
It just isn't true that restaurants have been slow to recognize, much less meet, the needs of plus-size Americans. Plate sizes are much bigger today than what they were fifty years ago and restaurants serve these platters with more food than a person can eat. Well at least more than a normal, healthy person can eat.
7
A good start is hire licensed, degreed interior designers, not decorators. Next, only specify hospitality furniture that is BIFMA certified and has a substantial warranty for use in a commercial application. The proper furniture will be scaled appropriately AND have a weight designation. Don’t hire a nonprofessional to design a restaurant and don’t buy the wrong furniture.
5
This is an odd call to arms. I'm a bigger guy. My family runs larger, but we all exacerbate the genetics with an unhealthy interest in too much food. I am acutely aware that I used to be 170, and that eating too much and not exercising are the sole reasons for my weight. Every spring, I try to kick myself out to exercise more, and I fail. (We'll see if this year can be different...)
I cannot fathom asking a restaurant or anywhere else to cater to my self-imposed condition. If they want to, great, they'll get my money. That's just capitalism and microeconomics.
But if they don't, I have no one to blame but myself. This isn't a social issue, its a personal issue.
Being overweight isn't fun. It's a problem. It's a condition that needs to be fixed, preferably sooner rather than later. The world doesn't need to adjust to us; we need to get back to responsible sizes. If people disagree with that, fine, pitch your case. But you're not going to get anywhere with that attitude, and isn't getting a personal solution the far better goal than getting a social one?
25
@htg, I just want to say how much I appreciate this comment. I kind of hate how accountability seems to have become a four letter word.
Best of luck on your spring goals! It can be hard to stick with it once summer gets into full swing, but I'm rooting for you!
6
"For people who identify as large, plus-size or fat, dining out can be a social and physical minefield."
I think using the term "identify as" is demeaning. Some people are bigger than others and regardless of how they feel about their size or how they identify culturally, they need accommodation.
If people looked beyond their own limited framework of morality and assumptions and saw a human being and a physical requirement, I think that restaurants could solve the issue much more efficiently.
3
In this age of wisely cautioning against normalizing certain dangers, I still just shake my head about this issue. No-one should ever be attacked through humiliation about personal matters. On the other hand, there are personal problems that shouldn't be celebrated or even maybe accommodated if they are treatable disorders. As a psychologist, I was consulted by bariatric surgeons to assist in clearing patients for their surgical procedures, so I had ethically prepared through additional education and training to help these people. Thereby, I learned that morbid obesity has become a medical disorder of epidemic proportions in this country. And it is a disorder with potentially 30 "co-morbidities" (associated medical problems). With this logic of celebration (not even just accommodation), should we also not only sympathize with but celebrate people who have cancer? Of course not. I could see providing accommodations at health clubs and wellness centers with exercise rooms and healthy eating classes. But *restaurants*? Talk about pouring gasoline on a raging oil fire--it's downright sadistic. These are the people who are the ones being cruel to morbidly obese persons.
10
I am not a "person of size," yet I often find restaurant seating mingy and uncomfortable. And if anyone's had the experience of entering a restaurant with a friend who might be blind, on crutches or in a wheelchair, they are certainly aware that design in this area of public life is basically brain-dead. And don't get me started on the noise. Flippantly telling people to lose a few pounds is not going to solve this. As long as restaurant designers -- and the media that covers restaurants -- think that the idea beauty shot of a restaurant is EMPTY, this will not improve.
7
I want to respond to this:
“Even with the best preparation, there is no way to account for a clueless employee who doesn’t notice that the bar stool with the curvy back just isn’t going to work, or the well-meaning manager who doesn’t want to call attention to a diner’s size by asking which seat might be most comfortable.”
What’s wrong with “No”?
When I am led to the most uncomfortable table in the restaurant (it happens to me a lot when I dine alone, but has also happened when I was dining with my husband), I refuse it and ask for another. That is my right. If the host will not reassign me, I leave and don’t come back. A larger diner can always tell that “clueless employee” that the bar stool just ain’t happening, not today or any other day. That’s what’s called a teachable moment.
5
We stopped eating out long ago not just because we don’t like to pay ridiculous prices for meals, but because we’re fussy about what we eat and still have robust taste buds. Thus when I travel for more than a night away we reserve a hotel room that has, at minimum, a microwave and small refrigerator, and I pack a small chopping board and good knife. If we’re am away for just a day, we pack homemade sandwiches, a salad, sliced fruit and vegetables. We avoid the hazard of the draw of fast food establishments and diners by keeping a large cooler, water, cutlery and chopping board in the back of our car. We buy no prepacked or prepared food. Grants, that’s for everyone, but it works for us and keeps us eating healthy foods ... and both of us have normal BMIs.
7
If they make the booth seating to fit MS ALexander, then those of us who are NOT FAT, and up sitting on the edge of the seat to be able to reach the table
The seat - to fit her -has to be way way back from the table. Normally the front edge of the seat would be even with or more likely extend under the table
At 5' 1 1/2" and 97 lbs (at age 64), I would have to tuck my feet under me and sit on the front edge of the seat of the booth AND lean forward onto the table with my forearms to reach the table.
For m to sit in something that would fit someone that fat would be like a 2 year old trying to sit a giant chair
I can not get taller. She, however, CAN get thinner -- less food, more exercise
7
Here’s the lesson: before every really important business meal you should visit the restaurant in person — for multiple reasons, including noise level and where would be the best place to sit.
Noise level is for me a reason enough to leave a place and declare it unsuitable.
In any important meeting you should try to minimize the unknowns and scope it out beforehand.
15
I agree. Seats should be bigger as I on the other hand am very small person and I am
Very annoyed when large men or large women spill into my bar seat or airplane seat
32
I feel for people who are obese, imagining how hard it must be physically, socially. Knowing that some have little choice in the matter, and those who do face a very difficult battle. I know how hard it is to change my own habits. I for one was inspired by the Obamas to get to the gym and eat right. Obviously these days we're getting a different message so it's particularly inspiring to see the bigger people at the gym, working it out. Positive energy.
20
@James
As an adult you should not wait for a "message" from the WH to decide how to treat your body.
Also, what message do you think the NYT is sending when they advocate accommodating larger people? Not that different from what you insinuate that today's WH is sending (in your opinion, anyway).
5
Very few have little choice in the matter. Very few indeed.
5
@Pat
Take inspiration where you can find it, Pat. If your president’s love of junk food, lack of exercise and immense waistline doesn’t bother you, great. But other people - adults, even - might feel differently.
2
Every comment has my sympathy. But surely the increasing obesity of Americans has a cause we can address individually and an approach we can all work at?
17
How about restaurants just post photos showing their seating area, and their seats or booths, populated by actual people; in addition to all their meal close-ups. That would let larger diners know whether or not to avoid the place like the plague or not.
4
This article and many of the resulting comments highlight something the public is not generally aware of, but the marketing/business world has know about America for decades: The American weight-loss industry is the only growth industry in the world with a totally dissatisfied customer base. That should tell people something.
https://emcphd.wordpress.com
17
I think many of the commenters have missed the point of the article -- Rebecca Alexander is not demanding that restaurants change their layouts or buy different chairs -- she's created an innovative solution to a problem that many people are completely unaware exists. She's not whining - she's proactive and solution-oriented. And her app is a great solution to a challenge she and many others face silently on a daily basis that empowers diners like her and does not demand restaurants change (contrary to many commenters' opinions). People vote with their dollars every day, and if larger customers choose to recommend restaurants that are more accommodating via this app, and less-accommodating restaurants lose out on business... isn't that... capitalism?
609
@Gabby The problem is, if a diner pans a small restaurant because it cannot accommodate a table of heavier people. Most smaller or local restaurants can't afford to give up valuable real estate to accommodate one or two people at one table when they could fit people at two tables. That's not discrimination; it's economics. If you don't seat enough tables, how can you keep your restaurant afloat? No-one wants heavy people to be penalized but it is disingenuous to imagine that 'fat acceptance' is a good alternative when the real problem is that 40% of our population is obese. That is a frightening number and we should be racing to reduce it.
81
@Gabby And because of capitalism insurance companies pass on to everyone else the cost of treating obese people and other people who don't live healthy lives.
45
I think it's a great idea. As long as the rest of us with normal bodies can patronize places that cater to us, let the obese have their own restaurants. Everybody's happy...right?
20
Articles like this bring out mixed emotions in me. Although I have dear family who are as large as some of the people profiled in this piece, I am a person with a disability, and I face many of the same issues in restaurants: aisle width, seating comfort, how the restrooms are laid out.
But the coverage of disability accessibility in recent times is small compared with tales of fat prejudice.
How about some discussion of going to a restaurant with a wheelchair or rollator walker; I've recently "graduated" to the latter after using two canes for decades. Now, crowded spots with closely-placed tables or even one stair present a challenge - or an insurmountable obstacle. I do all the same internet research any time I'm looking at a restaurant I haven't frequented before.
So, a modest suggestion: Address accessibility not in terms of a single category of people but as a generic matter. Whether one is obese, disabled, non-gender-conforming, hard of hearing, etc. - we all have the right to access public accommodations and need their owners and managers to know how to do that in a discreet, respectful manner.
Treat the problem as one of assuming everyone's needs are the same. They're not.
35
@catstaff Well said. Years ago I worked in restaurants and appreciated when customers said "hard of hearing, light sensitivity, table for wheelchair" etc. so that I could try to accommodate to their needs. But also, hey I have eyes and I want my guests to be comfortable as if they were in my home. It's not that difficult to do.
7
@catstaffTHANK YOU!!!! I would like this to be extended to hotels, and stores--- mostly I cannot shop the cute little shoppes in the various cute towns we visit, because getting my amputated and non-climbing legs, and either a walker or wheelie scooter INTO 5he places is impossible, or the interiors are not wide enough. Oddly one of THE most narrow, cramped and cluttered stores i have eever been in was in Montreals Asian district, and the lovely people saw my issues, helped myself and a young grandchild, brought me a chair---
1
Yes, fat is political. Knowing that, I shall dive in:
Every day, the grossly overweight among us face basic problems and indignities owing to obesity. As one who has experienced this first-hand (through diet and exercise, I shed well over 100lbs back when I turned 50) it is the accumulated impact of these indignities that should motivate one to drop the weight. To demand bigger seats rather misses the point. Listen to what the seats are telling you even if you ignore what your body is telling you.
Losing weight is just as natural as gaining weight. We gain weight specifically to lose it later. Weight gain is something people must fix within themselves, not in their surroundings.
Euphemisms like "large-bodied people" or movements like "fat acceptance" do not help. Seats may get bigger, but soon enough, those who need them will outgrow them, and then what? Demand larger and larger seats? As the seats get larger, so will the people who need them.
Take stock of what is happening to you and why it is happening - then do something about you. In this world, YOU are the only thing YOU can really change.
https://emcphd.wordpress.com
165
@Rev. E. M. Camarena, PhD
Obesity is a complicated issue. Victim-blaming (and yes, obese people are victims) and shaming do not promote wholeness or wellness. I assure you, an obese person thinks (worries/strategizes/agonizes/etc) about their weight nearly every minute of their day. It is not a lack of willpower that leads to and perpetuates obesity and unhealthy eating. You'd do yourself a favor to read Bright Line Eating to better understand the psychology of food addiction and the challenges of reversing a lifetime of ingrained habits/coping mechanisms. While most people are striving to overcome their own challenges and demons, in the meantime, while we all work towards perfection, can we at least be comfortable at a meal or on a flight?
12
@Rev. E. M. Camarena, PhD
In the meantime, fat people do still need to eat. Why should they not be able to enjoy a meal out with friends or family because of their size? Or do you just propose that they stay home in shame until they're small enough to be aesthetically pleasing to you?
13
Agree, agree, agree.
7
There are always two sides to a newspaper. Eat healthy, loose weight, exercise... Now we should build restaurants for size'd people. I love it. Now if we can get larger seats in airplanes for half the cost. That's activism at its best!
6
As a physician in Upstate NY, I try to be considerate in treating all my patients -- thin or obese -- with dignity and respect. Nonetheless, the prevalence of obesity and metabolic related illness -- primarily diabetes -- is affecting way too many of our patients. Nearly 30% of our patients are diabetic, the majority of whom are Type II. This is no reason to fat shame people who are obese, but the accepting attitudes towards extreme weight gain need a reality check.
199
Doctor, one thing most people do not know is that if you have Type 2 diabetes, and are taking medication or worse, shooting insulin to regulate the body’s glucose levels, you will GAIN weight! Which is an oxymoron!
And....what physicians do not tell folks, with Type 2 Diabetes is that with a paleo diet (no grains, but plenty of veggies, meat and fish) one CAN reverse diabetes, AND LOWER one’s A1-C number significantly! But...physicians are in bed with Big Pharma who keep Americans sick and medicated!
2
Seems that restaurants accommodate NFL and NBA athletes whose bodies are larger than most. Get some of them involved with the issue, the associations and the apps.
6
A more useful way for American restaurants to recognize the needs of their plus-size customers is to start reducing the portions, for everyone. Despite having lived a number of years in the US, I'm still shocked when I travel back there to see the amount of food that American restaurants still pile on plates.
76
@Jack
We, too, are astonished by the enormous portions in US restaurants. Nobody needs that much food.
11
@Jack
And how much of that food gets wasted!
12
@Jack
Actually, as a result, we save money when we eat out. My gf and I, both 80, order a single portion and an extra plate. Most of the time, the waiter will offer to split it for us and bring it on the two plates. That waiter gets a better tip.
8
Maybe restaurants could help by reducing serving sizes, sometimes the amount of food delivered is astonishing.
33
@Bailey
Not in Manhattan. I pay 40 dollars for an 8oz steak. On this coast, portion sizes are too small.
3
I'd venture to say that obesity can be related to a medical issue and moreover, that obesity is a disability in and of itself. As such, I'm curious whether suits have been filed against these restaurants for violating the Americans with Disabilities Act. If not, they should be!
1
@Mike
No, they shouldn't be. It is a choice made by people, and other people who make correct choices shouldn't have to foot the bill.
8
@Mike, if obesity was a disability, half of every parking lot in America would consist of handicapped spaces.
8
Regarding the woman who arranged a celebratory meal out with colleagues and said she was humiliated when faced with a booth she couldn't fit into: had one of her group been in a wheel chair, might she not have mentioned this beforehand to the restaurant when arranging accommodations? Yes, she would have. Why, then, is her disability any different? She needs to shoulder some of the responsibility here.
11
As a hospitality worker on the other side: yes, if people were more forthcoming regarding their needs my job would be 10 times easier. But they are not, for so many reasons. Inserting "do any of your guests have special needs or allergies" into the booking process introduces a delicate subject and signals to the guest you need to know.
2
I have always been big and restaurant seating is often a mixed experience. But the tables in booths can often be shifted to balance the space with my dining companions. And if not I just deal with it. The only seating I absolutely dread are those wretched plastic chairs on a smooth surface. If someone of size sits on them the legs gradually spread until the chair either breaks or goes over backwards... ask me how I know. But theater seating and airplanes push the envelop smaller and smaller -- which is odd considering demographic trends. A pity the world doesn't use the metric I use when building something like a deck or staircase. 'Man is measure of all things'... if the stairs are designed to hold me carrying a refrigerator they are strong enough.
3
I worked in a Chinese restaurant and we had some very big regulars who would have had a hard time fitting into a booth but they always did take out along with a quart of duck sauce so there was never a problem.
5
As someone who is average weight in the US, albeit slightly overweight, I am fundamentally obese in Japan, where everything is much more cramped and smaller. From their perspective and from the realities of design, I am large, and I have definitely had my share of discomfort and acrobatics getting into booths and tables. Yet, it's absurd and selfish for me to lobby for my right to more space: basically you are saying to a facility owner that they should take on more overhead or serve fewer customers to accommodate my selfish need to be comfortable. Why is that the responsibility of the owner? the airline? the movie theater?
I have to say that going to the US now is an eye popping experience. Over the weekend I was in Florida and went to a grocery store that was packed to the gills with junk, poor choices, and the opportunity for excess with jumbo sizes, and heart disease on every isle. The size of the building dwarfed my nearest supermarket in Tokyo by dozens of times, and yet probably accommodates the same number of people. We, as Americans are sick - we over consume, and we feel entitled to do so. We feel our bad choices are rights that we must impose on others.
But our bad choices are choices - and if you want to stop feeling bad about your weight, it is up to you to do something about it. I will never become the size of the average Japanese person, but I know if I want to be more comfortable it is up to me.
140
@Robert Stacy
A most commonsense reply to this article.
The tiny health food store in town has all the basics I need, the farmer's market fresh produce, dairy and cheese in season. On the occasional visit to the big grocery I stand in line behind folks with baskets overflowing with flavored water, soda, packaged convenience food and bag after bag of snacks. Their grocery bill is huge!
11
@Robert Stacy I get it. I go to a restaurant willing to spend good money for a decent dining experience and I should not expect that the owner of the restaurant to 'accomodate my selfish need to be comfortable.'
That makes perfect sense to me.
3
Thanks, Robert. I haven't been back to America for a number of years, but last time there, had the same 'eye popping" experience in central Florida. Your description of the supermarkets [and of course, such stores are found throughout the US] is deadly accurate. Just for my own edification, I decided to peruse the category of food stuffs that appeared to take up the most shelf space in the store, and read the contents of each item. This was - have a guess? - breakfast cereals. And EVERY cereal - save one! -on those aisle-long shelves, contained sugar or some form of sucrose, etc. This included EVERY so-called "natural" product on offer.
Clearly, Americans ,in general, are addicted to sugar (as well as the myriad of other unhealthy products on offer) and are suffering the consequences in terms of obesity, soaring diabetes, and other health issues.
I have to agree with a previous commenter who said that 'normalising' obesity is completely counter-productive. Rather, let us get to the roots of WHY this has become the 'new normal' and take steps - as well as personal responsibility - to change direction.
24
If you don't think airline seats have gotten smaller over the past few decades, you haven't gone on a commercial flight in 20 years or you have a private jet.
6
@Koslo Amen! My broad shoulders on my 5'10 body and the gentleman's over 6' with broad shoulders sitting next to me had us both leaning away from each other uncomfortably through a whole flight. Thank goodness it was only 3 hours. I frankly would have preferred a larger, softer, more narrow shouldered seatmate.
1
This morning i was with my three sons having breakfast at a small place we like to go. It is quite rare now. One lives in Europe, while the middle-one lives in Asia.
Enters two really obese persons. They couldn't fit nowhere. I was, hum... so glad none of my boys will ever experience that.
2
@Le Michel
How do you know?
11
@Le Michel - They couldn't fit "nowhere" ?
2
As someone who is always struggling (mostly unsuccessfully) with my weight, my complaint is about portion sizes. Restaurant portion sizes are completely out of control. One of the healthier lunch options near my workplace is a major sandwich chain; you can order a an apple instead of chips, for example, and the apples are actually good (honeycrisp or gala, not a mushy red "delicious"). Nevertheless, the sandwiches are huge. If you order a turkey sandwich on wheat, you get TWO whole sandwiches. So, you have to order a half sandwich to get one sandwich. That is just stupid. Of course, I order half a sandwich, but a lot of people end up eating two sandwiches for lunch. And this is a HEALTHY restaurant. Then there are the Italian chain restaurants where your enormous plate of pasta comes with a side of more pasta.
13
@Sarah, don't blame portion sizes. It is ultimately every person's responsibility to control what/how much they put into their bodies. What may seem like a big portion to you would be an inadequate portion for me. There is nothing worse than ordering a "meal" at a restaurant and leaving hungry because the portions were too small.
3
@Sarah
Americans are used to huge helpings. Having gone to Italy on more than a dozen occasions I can tell you that when you dine in any number of restaurants there you will not get portions like you do here in the states. In Italy you get a much smaller portion a couple of forkfuls at best not anything spilling over the plate. I had friends come back and they complained that they thought the portions were small. Everything in moderation.
5
@Sarah
Very simple solution. Eat half, have them package the other half "to go".
I do it frequently, get two meals for the price of one. Sometimes three.
3
Being fat isn't always the individual's fault. Sometimes stuff happens to a person, or you have a physical or mental condition that causes weight gain. However, I do think the people with the "big" problem, should let a restuarant know so that they can make arrangements for the diners to be comfortable..all the diners. And hostesses, waiters, etc, should leave their eyerolls and judgement at home. They are being paid to serve the public, and that usually means anyone willing to pay for dinner that hasn't just stepped out of a sewer or is half dressed. Most of all, people should make a habit of being non-judgemental. Lots of times, what we judge others for, will come around to us somehow, someway. So love one another. That shouldn't be that hard, but it appears to be for some. I think it is fear. Humans can be a trifling lot sometimes, when they are afraid of something.
12
So, does everyone feel incredibly righteous and superior with all the fat shaming comments?
45
@Heidi
I shouldn't have come here to read the comments - most of them are exactly what I was expecting and I'm infuriated. Fat-shaming is still completely acceptable in our culture - despite the scads of research indicating the highly addictive properties of the American diet, the food giants and lobbying behind those addictive foods, and the marketing campaigns everywhere aimed at perpetuating "eating = bliss". It's a complete lack of information and understanding that leads to the continued fat-shaming. It's disgusting and sad and helps no one.
10
@Heidi What embitters the world is not excess of criticism, but an absence of self-criticism
- G.K. Chesterton
10
@Heidi Right????? I can't believe some of these comments. Just so sad and ugly. If nothing else, it's a great example of what put this mean, petty, awful clown in the White House. Ugh.
4
For those of you who believe obesity is a choice and all one needs to do is eat less I assume your lifestyle choices are beyond reproach? And do you really think if losing weight was that easy people would chose to remain obese and be subject to your daily judgments? Restaurants are in the hospitality business and should train their staff to treat all customers with dignity, not just those who fit their narrowly defined view of a customer. But all that being said, obesity should not be considered a disability and create another level of accommodation for restaurants. Why couldn’t the seating they create to accommodate other disabilities also be used to accommodate obese patrons? And as uncomfortable as it might be when someone who needs an accommodation they should make that request when making a reservation. Expecting a restaurant to have an infinite variety of seating to suit any body type isn’t realistic.
29
@JWyly I suffered from fairly severe obesity caused by a by a life-threatening pituitary condition (fortunately, it was eventually diagnosed and treated). There are a surprisingly large number of people suffering from endocrine disorders. Who's to say that's not a disability? Don't assume you know why someone is fat.
2
Why do we have to comment with derision on an issue such as being a larger or overweight person? Would we do the same to those using a walker, wheelchair, crutches or any other medical assist device? Would we look down our noses at those who confer with their server about dining options for their particular dietary or lifestyle needs? Of course not, they have become part of the wallpaper by now. So then, we have to ask ourselves why we still fat-shame people. Because it "might be their own darn fault?" Do we know that with certainty? Maybe that person next to you, barely squeezed into their airline seat is en route to a medically necessary procedure in a different part of the country/world; maybe that person trying to be comfortable on a sliver of a restaurant seat is celebrating the loss of 100 lb. with a healthy feast; maybe they have a condition for which treatment packs on the pounds and they prefer to be alive rather than the alternative. The facts show us that the US is increasing in girth. We can debate the causes until the cows come home. Until we are successful in eliminating food deserts, making real food more affordable and available, and many more things, don't throw stones at others until you tame your own demons. They are no better or worse, just different. FYI, before you start throwing those stones at me, I am of "normal" height and weight. I am also a senior citizen, so I'm already invisible in large part. There!
45
@Paula Zevin
"Would we do the same to those using a walker, wheelchair, crutches or any other medical assist device?"
Oh, come now. My father had no choice about losing a leg to polio as a child. Obese folks, but for rare cases, are making a choice every time they stick more forkfuls into their mouths.
(FTR: I'm about to turn 81. I refuse to become invisible. The last time my gf and I danced at a local dive -- great live music -- 5 people videoed us.)
8
@Austin Liberal Glad to hear I'm not alone in refusing to bow to invisibility. Now where's that video of you and your GF? Would love to see it. I have a friend who wears a whole leg brace as a result of getting polio as a child and she always said that she can do anything she wants, still does. I'm not taking the bait in discussing obesity and whose "fault" it is, not until we take care of the roots of the problem. Those are things we can help turn around, it just takes time, resources and will.
2
I find it concerning that we as an increasingly overweight/obese society are taking steps to make it convenient to be fat. We need to acknowledge that being overweight is unhealthy and ultimately costly to the individual and our nation as a whole. Taking steps to accommodate an unhealthy body mass is not the answer to the obesity epidemic. This is coming from a 5’6 140 lb woman who at one time weighed 200+ lbs. I can attest from experience that it does NOT feel good to be fat, physically or emotionally. While larger booths may save an overweight person the embarrassment of not fitting is it really helping them in the long run?
245
@Lindsay
I agree with your post and I am obese and wear a size 22/24, the so called smaller side of big. I find the standard size seats are not a problem, booths are a bit more skinny and I have had the indignity of having my stomach squeezed into one. But I don't blame the restaurant or society. The seats and booths do accommodate a range of size of person, even a plus size person of size 18/20. I only encountered the booth squeeze when I hit size 22.
I applaud you your weight loss to a more healthy weight. I am not there yet and I know I need to do the same thing and it is on me because it is me that is doing the unhealthy thing. I agree if booth tables or seats suddenly became bigger it could add to a person's continued unhealthy path. Having to squeeze into a booth does have a way of making you wake up and realize you've let things get of out hand.
37
@Lindsay Since when is being able to comfortable dine out with friends and family supposed to be the answer? Since when it is healthy or helpful in any way to banish overweight people to their own homes?
15
@Lindsay
Discouraging them from going out in the world and socializing with friends or family certainly isn't helping them in the long run. Stigmatization just makes people more depressed, and more likely to soothe themselves with food in the privacy of their home. Additionally, as the study on the former "The Biggest Loser" contestants showed, many people cannot lose weight and keep it off over the long term. There is no metabolic reset button that medical science has found so far.
14
I am both extremely heartened that the NYT assigned and wrote an article about this experience and extremely disappointed by the tone of the writer, Kim Severson. She has taken to Twitter defending the usage of height/weight statistics, but I can find no reason to agree with the defense. Anyone conversant in eating-disorder recovery would know that numbers are verboten, as they can spiral someone in recovery into weight comparisons, body-checking and shaming, and worse. Beyond that specific concern and clinical diagnosis, it's a marked degree of other-ism not seen in other health-centered analysis writing. The piece's overall tone feels like a zoological study, not a compassionate and relatable take on a prevalent issue. I feel for the subjects Severson interviewed who are represented just as much by their weights as their words here, unfairly so (and in the case of Roxane Gay, without consent). And I question the editorial judgment in proceeding with this tonally flawed piece at all. For a writer whose field demands creativity and deftness with prose, I am surprised that Severson found no other way to convey to readers how her subjects inhabited the world than with numbers. I would hope this problematic piece encourages the Times to hire more plus-sized writers and editors for their valuable input to avoid this occurring again. Sincerely - A plus-sized reader.
13
@Sarah W. You're absolutely right about Ms. Severson's piece, including its zoological bent. As a VERY fat man, myself, I'm used to being viewed as a zoo attraction, a source of amusement and wonder for other patrons. As if being VERY fat is all that defines me.
7
I was at a popular ice cream place with my much-larger friend. The place was designed to have a retro feel and their booths were recycled from an old fast-food joint. They were super skinny and my friend had to sit sideways to even sit down. Oh, they had wooden chairs set aside, but I discovered that they were rickety and cracked.
To the store's credit, the store clerk took pictures to send to the owners, but who knows if they were replaced.
Aesthetics be damned, there's a reason those old booths and chairs were dumped...
7
@Jaid Yes there’s a reason those old booths and chairs were dumped. It’s because they were from a previous era where almost NOBODY was sick with obesity as 40% of Americans are today. If you ever look at old black and white photos of crowds you’d be hard-pressed to find a single overweight person. I agree with all the comments that obesity is not normal, not healthy, and normalizing obesity isn’t a good idea. We’d all love to eat more and to indulge in fattening foods but taking care of ourselves and our children feels more crucial to building a healthy society. The sugar industry and sugar lobbyists are a lot to blame in this discussion. We need more articles about this in the NYT.
8
Obese people and older people - neither are really wanted in retail establishments, who do their best to project an aura of hip. We will always be treated like we don't exist, and our money isn't good enough. Because just our presence attacks the brand.
16
@Debra
I'm not overweight but I am old and agree many places don't want us. A noodle place opened in a nearby town, and I love noodles. But we won't be going - the only tables are high with tall stools, not easy for an old folk with arthritis to climb into.
22
@Debra These are my thoughts exactly. I am neither a senior citizen or overweight, but when my mom decided to “go gray” this last year, it made my heart ache to think how she’d be treated differently being seen as “more elderly” in public. Working in various industries over the years, I’ve seen countless times where elderly people are treated as if their IQ and general intelligence is non-existent. It so heartbreaking to see over and over again at doctor’s offices, convenience stores, restaurants, etc someone who gracefully displays their natural gray hair be treated as a lower class citizen. We respect and revere them in social circles, but the world around them, many my age (36), don’t do the same in public.
13
@Debra
I'm 81. Never had a problem "existing."
1
Why is activism here only for "large" people who are broad. The tall have no activism, why is that? It's no treat being tall fitting into restaurant seating with long legs or fitting into airline seats. I've had to leave restaurants or ask for a new table on multiple occasions. But there's no empathy for the tall - why? Is it some sort of self victim-ism by the "large". Neither tall nor large is some sort of disability. It's just a bit of being non-average and we should all just deal with it instead of complaining. Society has lost any sense of self-reliance.
28
@van hoodoynck
Being 4'10 has challenges as well. The designed world often humiliates me, but I don't take it personally.
29
@Tanya I've gotten used to jumping up onto barstools. Usually takes at least two tries. Embarrassing indeed but you get used to laughing it off - I will never be that willowy and elegant lady at the bar.
9
@Tanya I am petite too. Bar stools and "high-top" tables are quite the challenge, as are chairs so high and deep that I look like Lily Tomlin as "Emily Ann" in the big rocking chair.
It is what it is, as they say. If I know a place has a lot of high tops, I'll request a regular table when I make a reservation.
6
The other side of the issue: many restaurants have so increased the distance between the table and benches in the booths that those of us who are not obese can barely reach our plates. We can either lean back and be comfortable or perch on the edge of the bench to be able to eat. Perhaps restaurants should have all tables and chairs?
72
@Dhr9
Here, here, as a fully grown 5' tall woman, usually if I were to sit back in a booth, not only could I not reach the table, my legs would be sticking straight out..... and no it's not super comfy to sit on the edge and dangle my feet (yeah, it's not uncommon that chairs are far too tall for me as well)
But you know that's life and if you are not average, you simply have to deal with things as they are. I don't expect that every shop/restaurant etc. is going to have that perfect Goldilocks fit for every single person (and if it fits me... then what about the person I'm dining with... do we each get a customized chair and table combo?!) and just remember that you aren't alone in this world, what may 'accommodate' you at one end of the spectrum may very well be very uncomfortable and/or inconvenient for me at the other.... average is average because it's average... it comfortably 'accommodates' the most people possible. When you dwell at the edges, you are the one who will often need to adapt.
13
I’m struck by the number of people whose comments remark that maybe overweight people should just lose weight. My husband used a wheelchair because of a traffic accident so I can identify with their concerns of navigating a restaurant. It’s not easy.
And while I’m on the subject, for older people, those high top tables are very uncomfortable and almost impossible to get into, as well as those picnic table benches that are so popular now. And don’t get me started on the noise levels in restaurants. What’s up with that? Who likes to have to shout to have a conversation or keep asking someone to constantly repeat what they just said.
There are a lot of restaurants that I’ll never go back to because of those issues. My dining out dollars are better spent elsewhere.
56
Agreed, we should be sensitive to needs of others.
What’s the etiquette around air plane seating? I hate to be seated next to large people on flights who end up pushing against me. If I pay for a seat, I would like to be comfortable during the flight.
181
@Michael G
And I hate to be sitting next to a man who manspreads, grabs both armrests and opens his newspaper fully for the whole flight.
What’s the etiquette for rude?
33
@Kate It seems that a mere request to share the armrest and space is not unreasonable yes? Whereas a person's bulk is nonnegotiable short of a readily equipped scalpel, which I'm quite sure is easy to transport through a TSA gate.
12
Oh Lawd, I've had to suffer with this all my life. I know how it is.
I cannot even "think" of flying on an airplane. It is what it is. I don't think barstools will ever change (at least to satisfy us fat people).
5
America is getting bigger. That is not going to change. Smart restauranteurs know big people are awesome loyal customers. They spend a lot, are easy going, generally are relaxed and fun loving, and are not creepy. They just want respect, roomy booths, and good food.
9
@MSB, the overweight epidemic needs to change because there are health risks (many) associated with being overweight. If your young you think you can gorge and “have fun.” As you get older, you have back, knee, hip problems, diabetes (even in obese teenagers), and maybe even increased cancer risks. Please don’t delude yourself here. Fat America is not the future we should aspire to.
3
This is a good article. People should not be shamed about their weight or the size of the "container" they are in. The body is just a body and we shouldn't over identify with it. That said, it is your "container" and like it or not, you must carry it with you in this lifetime. It should be respected and enjoyed, even with its obvious limitations and inevitable decay. And all this said, when I found myself eating in our local all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant, surrounded by folks who couldn't fit in their chairs, it made me feel more self conscious about what I was eating and I didn't go back. No offense but I just chose not to.
4
@Amy Haible:
We do not HAVE a body. We ARE a body. The mistaken idea that the body is other than who we are, this mental split we impose on ourselves, is responsible for a great many of life's ills.
https://emcphd.wordpress.com
5
Wow -- I was wondering how many comments I'd have to read through until I got to a judgmental, fat-shaming one. Two.
If you've been reading about food and weight loss over time, you would know that losing weight simply isn't as easy for people as we want to think, and that some people are burdened by obesity no matter how hard they try to change. (Read Tommy Tomlinson's recent memoir "The Elephant In The Room" for context).
Even if it were just a matter of losing weight, does that mean obese people should not have the opportunity to sit comfortably (or at least more comfortably) restaurants until they do? What if a 300-lb. person loses 60 lbs., and is in the process of losing more -- at what point are they allowed to literally have a seat at the table?
99
@KGS
If you examine photographs of crowds from several decades ago, you will not see folks as large as are commonly seen in similar scenes today.
Obesity doesn't just "happen."
60
@Rea Tarr _ But why does it happen, then? I don't think that everyone in those old photographs was a paragon of self control. If there has been a sudden collapse in personal responsibility, why would that have happened?
10
@Rea Tarr
Why do you think that is? Is there maybe something going on in food/health policy, environmentally, the food industry, society that is causing so many people to weigh more?
If it were just a handful of people, and the %s hadn't changed, the "individual choice" argument that many people make would make sense, but when so many, and so many more, people are in the overweight, obese classifications across the country, so much so that it's almost becoming the norm rather than the exception, what is driving that?
14
"“It puts the onus on the fat person,” said Ms. Baker, 32, who fluctuates between size 22 and 24."
A world in which everything is sized to fit historical and evolutionarily 'healthy' humans now is a form of containment and fat shaming. The person with the 'new American sized' body should do nothing to change his or her eating habits. Everything around them must change. Not to change chair sizes or perceptions of beauty or portion sizes is fat shaming. And really, when close to 70% of Americans are either overweight or obese, it all makes sense, doesn't it?
And those who fight to be at a 'traditionally medically healthy weight' are in the minority, yet still, somehow, the oppressors of the 'healthy but large' majority.. We live in a messed up world.
69
To all of you who believe obesity is simply a matter of people lacking self control or responsibility, I ask that you remember when "science" also defined homosexuality as a choice. I ask you consider that only about 5% of people who manage to lose a significant amount of weight are able to keep it off, and that most of the 95% who can't end up fatter than they were before losing weight. If you had an ailment and the doctor suggested a treatment that was only 5% effective and that was most likely to leave you in worse shape than you were without that treatment, would you pursue that treatment? Obesity is a complex disease that is obviously extremely resistant to treatment. Note that the incidence of obesity has INCREASED significantly at the same time that the multi-billion dollar "fitness" industry has boomed. Could there be a correlation? At present, I am one of the 5% who has "succeeded" at weight loss. Although I am technically obese again, nine years after my last and most significant weight loss I have (so far) managed to keep off all but 50 of the 200 pounds I lost. But it's a such a constant and significant struggle that I often question whether it's worth it. The level condemnation expressed in many of these comments is disturbing. One commenter even questioned whether fat people should eat? (Seriously?!!) Do some fat people make poor choices? Yes. But so do many thin people. They simply don't pay the same price for those choices.
101
@Therese LaGoe You cannot equate obesity (an unhealthy condition with a known cause and medical and psychological consequences) to sexual orientation. No need to feel ashamed of your weight, but the fact is that it is unhealthy and places an undue burden on our medical system, having to treat the conditions caused by obesity. Obesity is a complex condition because there is are large sociological and psychological factors that influence its development. I agree that these should be addressed rather than resorting to shaming and blaming. However, physically obesity is the over-consumption of calories, plain and simple.
43
@Therese LaGoe
I lost 35% of my body weight 20 years ago. I have managed to keep it off pretty easily. One thing that helps me a lot is to limit my dining out and drinking. I've watched my friends gain weight - and hear about them eating out 4-5 nights a week, brunch with endless mimosas, the latest brewery. At this point, we have built a culture around excessive eating and drinking as our core social outings. Dining out and drinking need to become rare occasions, not everyday activities. If that changed and people found ways to be social that didn't include food and alcohol, we would see a decrease in obesity.
I have great sympathy for the obese but I'm really scared as I see it becoming more common. No one should feel unwelcome, but enabling people to be morbidly obese is like enabling smoking - it doesn't seem morally right.
Lastly, I think the market will react accordingly. When I was a size 22, there were only one or two places to shop. Now the morbidly obese have a ton of choices. I imagine restaurants will adapt to larger patrons as they see that market share rise. Who knows what airlines will do.
25
I cannot believe you just compared obesity with homosexuality. Being obese can kill you. Being obese is bad for your health. Being obese can be treated with surgery. You are not born obese. Homosexuals do not become homosexuals after years of poor habits. Etc. There are huge differences.
19
Armless chairs can be a problem for seniors, who may need to use armrests to stand up and sit down. Restaurants should have chairs with and without armrests, and barstools with and without backs.
14
“People who identify as large, plus-size or fat”?!?? This is a sad use of this modern dubiously sensitive way of referring to people. Frankly it’s a little insulting. I can definitely relate to the topic of this article and have had many unpleasant expereinces due to my size. But being fat is a condition and most people would rather not be reminded about their condition and certainly not identified by it - we have had enough bullying as a result of being identified as fat already in our lives. What’s next - people who identify as wheelchair-bound, people who identify ais bald, people who identify as drug addicts? This is not a condition that we want to be reminded of nor encouraged to take pride in. We want to be accommodated, treated as regular people andNOT have our identity based on our weight.
12
Not only that but it makes no sense in this context. One is uncomfortable on a barstool because one is large; one is not uncomfortable on a barstool because one “associates with being” large.
11
@Him
But accommodating your identity as an overweight person costs other people money. Increased health costs for example, or the cost of adding wider and more robust seating. If an airline makes seats wider, ticket prices for everyone will go up because there will be fewer seats. And so on.
Being fat may be a condition, but it is, for most people, a condition that can -- and should -- be changed. You are not a victim.
1
At least you can wait for a table in a restaurant, what about airplane seats??? I am a plus size person and hate flying on seats that are made for a size 2.
7
As a former hostess in a restaurant that consisted of 6 booths and 8 tables, I often wished that there was an acceptable means of determining a future guest's size when making my seating chart for a busy Saturday night with an anticipated 3 turns on each table. My job was to make everyone's experience positive and special and I took it seriously and, while I certainly recognized the limitations of our booths, I had no way to know who may, or may not, fit into one comfortably until they walked in the door. The responsibility, I believe, begins with the diner. It isn't as if they don't know that they are sizable, right? If guests can share their requests for a "quiet spot away from the door" or a meal prepared gluten free or vegan, they can certainly ask to be seated in an area that can accommodate their physical self. That would avoid the discomfort, physical or emotional, that the diner and the restaurant staff experience in these types of situations.
939
@Silvia I cannot believe a common sense NYT comment!
Brilliant!
55
@Silvia as a woman of size and also in the service industry, I absolutely agree. If reservations are made, there is a note in mine requesting no booths and a table w/ extra room. Aside from that, we have to address the availability of accommodation. There are many restaurants where all the seating is not going to work. Meaning: chairs with fixed arms, small stools, flimsy seating, fixed seating. Hopefully the restaurant industry will shift toward accommodating everyone.
39
@Silvia I agree with you and wish airlines knew in advance of a person's size and needs. Yesterday I was on a five-hour flight which was completely full. A rather large person sat in the middle seat and spilled over into my leg and arm space. This morning my shoulder and arm ache from being confined to one position much of the flight. I walked whenever the seat belt sign was off, but we experienced lots of turbulence so I was stuck. It was a miserable flight, and I still feel it today.
121
I've been a bigger person my whole life. I have always, always, ALWAYS been acutely aware of my relationship to taking up space - whether it's on a train or city bus, or in a restaurant.
I'm medium-big, I suppose, but I am always aware, and I always take on the responsibility of ensuring a smooth experience when we dine out. I use OpenTable and will leave notes requesting a roomy space (my spouse is very tall, so a tight space isn't working for either of us).
I also make an effort to go at times where places aren't busy (partly so that more tables are available, and partly because of my own preferences to be there at a less hectic moment).
This generally works & I haven't had many issues or embarrassing situations. The communal table fad put a bit of a kink in things, for sure. And I've had a few hosts that let me know with a whole lot of side eye or attitude that I was not aesthetically pleasing to them.
In my experience, restaurants appreciate knowing what any customer with a particular need is hoping to achieve. It's logistics, the same way some airlines would appreciate knowing if they have larger passengers, so that they can plan and arrange things accordingly.
I won't apologize for wanting the very human interactions that a night on the town brings, so I can eat my salmon and brussels sprouts (why yes, I DO know what a vegetable is, thank you) with people I love. Dining together is restorative. We should offer comfort and break bread together without shame.
403
People get sidelined by the fact that this article is talking about larger people, but in all reality we could be talking about a person with a walker, an oxygen tank, a broken arm or any number of different potential issues that would make their experience at a restaurant less than ideal.
The concept of universal design means making a space more usable for everyone, which usually those that need accommodations, as well as those who don't. For a restaurant, it seems like a no-brainer to keep a few tables and chairs that can accommodate larger and other body types. Businesses that are open to the public have the responsibility to be open to the whole public, not just those they choose.
584
@Zack If you have a wheel chair or other issues, I'm sure you can mention this when making a reservation, to ensure that they give you an appropriate table. Keeping a few tables for larger people is fine, but it's impossible to decide whom to assign to those tables at the time of reservation.
24
@Zack
The idea of universal design came to my mind, too. But doesn't UD promote fully usable spaces, not just partial accessibility (i.e., a few tables and chairs)?
Or are fat people or disabled people or those lugging oxygen tanks supposed to be segregated in the special section? You know, like the "colored sections" found in the Jim Crow south?
My reading suggests that's not in the spirit of universal design.
10
@Jack
I use a rollator walker. Yes, I can "mention it" when making or confirming a reservation, but that guarantees nothing. Many restaurants just don't have the space. And if they do have "a few tables" why should I be relegated to the special section?
If it's impossible to know where to seat people in advance, how about just having a fully accessible space? Problem solved.
8
At 258 lbs. I was considered obese. Clothes didn’t fit right, restaurant chairs, banquettes,
and bar stools were uncomfortable. Sure I wasn’t 350 or 400. I could squeeze I to the banquette, but I was uncomfortable. I hated it. Do I blame the restaurants that made the seats for average-sized folks? No. Of course not. I was uncomfortable because I had unhealthy eating and drinking habits. I got sick and tired of being uncomfortable all the time so, I’m doing what Americans used to do. I’m taking personal responsibility for my own problems and I’m losing weight. Got a ways to go but I will get there. The world should be an uncomfortable place for fat people. We don’t live in a far people world and as far people, we shouldn’t make the rest of the world bend to accommodate our unwillingness to take care of ourselves. Losing weight is hard, man. Really hard. Changing habits is incredibly tough. But it can be done.
1033
@Peter Shelsky Dear Peter - thank you for your responsible message. You are a voice of sanity. Best wishes.
168
@Peter Shelsky
I hope you're proud of yourself. You should be. I'm sure you will be healthier, happier and live a longer life. And, I am also sure that you know you can still enjoy eating and drinking, just differently. Good luck to you.
142
Cheers, Peter!
87
Thoughts from a fat reader regarding comments that lack empathy.
Thank you, I know that I'm fat. Telling me things like "maybe I shouldn't eat" or "maybe I shouldn't eat out" does not help me become thin. And you don't need to tell me I'm fat. Trust me. I know.
I used to be a triathlete until injury sidelined me. Now I'm 271 pounds, down from 297. Not everyone who you judge for being lazy and unworthy of being seen out in public enjoying life is actually lazy. You don't know the back stories of everyone who is obese. Who has medication side effects? Who self medicates with alcohol? Who was never taught nutrition? Who has no access to a kitchen to cook? Who is struggling with many things other than obesity, and that's just the cherry on the problem sundae?
I have a disease that makes walking difficult (no it's not obesity, it's lymphedema) so it's especially hard to "get fit" and "go to the gym". But thank you for tsking and shaking your head when you saw me walking with a cane, and thought I was just lazy.
There's an old saying that "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
674
@lynn
Do you have access to a good water aerobics program? I participate in one at the Institute on Aging at our medical school and it is a life saver (quite literally) for people who can't exercise or walk much on land. All levels of fitness can be accommodated. Any movement is better than none!
56
@KJG I swim and walk. Yes any movement is better than none.
30
@lynn
Let's not forget in back stories:, the person who has already lost 80 lbs going from 300 to 220.
38
I appreciated this article but also found some discrepancies in every day life. I was the Maitre D at a extremely busy restaurant for 5 years and always tried to be respectful and socially aware of every type of diner. I would say out of all of the larger folks I spoke with, I would outline and show them which type of table I planned to seat them once ready, and ask if that would work for them/if they would be comfortable there and 99% would be confused and say of course. Once their 1-3 hour wait was over and we approached the table, it would always be an awkward position when they were not able to seat comfortably. I applaud the women who created this app, but in my experience less than 1% of folks were aware of possibly not fitting at a booth or table and it wasn’t until the situation occurred that they realized. Perhaps I should have been more direct.
110
@Gina
Maybe the better solution would be not to plan seating them at a table you could see they would not fit into. That would not seem to be more difficult than recommending the right wine.
17
@Gina Or maybe they were too mortified to say anything. I think most people have zero idea the amount of shaming and humiliation that is inflicted on fat people on a daily basis.
13
In 2000, my girlfriend and I arrived at Giorgio's for dinner 15 minutes before our reservation. There were a half dozen empty tables in the dining room. We waited at a table in the bar for the next 45 minutes while walk ins were seated. We were both dressed in suits.
We both weighed over 300 pounds. When a table became available where we could not be seen easily, despite our size, we were briefly seated. I got up and whispered to the Maitre'd that my girlfriend was an attorney. I told him Lesli had used the waiting time to write a brief to sue the place in federal court in the Southern District, alleging violation of our civil rights.
They gave us a better table and free coffee. 19 years later, we still have bitter memories of that night.
224
@BigGuy Sometimes I am made to wait when others seems to get more attention, or I do not get the best seats in restaurant or airplanes; or a waiter, cashier or sales persons will not treat me well. I am average size and white so I have no excuse for complaints... many times I have felt that if I had been of a different ethnicity or bigger, or had another distinctive markers I would have felt discriminated again. So, being "non-descriptly" averageI have to think that whoever is attending to me had a bad day, a bad boss. I do not have the luxury of taking it personally and threatening discrimination.
93
Why didn’t you use that great line and then walk out? I couldn’t eat in a place if I had a bitter feeling.
36
@Northpamet I wouldn't want to eat food made by people I had just told I was suing.
115
My good friend and I are both over 250#. I took her to the Bonefish Grill in Boise for her birthday. Several groups of (thin) people were seated before we were, even though they arrived later and also had no reservation. We called the hostess on it when an attractive couple were seated at a 4-top in the front of the house. She said that she was waiting for the right table for us — which ended up being in the back corner where no one could see us. Hard to believe it wasn’t intended as fat-shaming. Too bad they chose to lose years of business from us. I guess there bottom line is less important than their appearance.
153
@D’Vorah
I worked at Bonefish and Outback (same company) at multiple locations for many years. I can assure you that their "bottom line" isn't to have attractive customers. I've never once seen or heard of a hostess waiting to seat someone because they aren't as attractive as someone else. That would be ludicrous. I have; however, had to wait to seat someone because they were not going to fit at the available booth or tables. Perhaps your insecurities are clouding your reasoning in this instance.
82
@D’Vorah
Next time I'm in Idaho and looking for a place to eat: What is the name of that restaurant?
8
At my highest weight, I once tried to see the fourth Harry Potter movie. I didn't fit into the seat at the older theater, had a panic attack out of mortification, fled for home, and, uh, never saw any more of the movies.
I'm thinner now and it's easier to get around. But I'll never forget how embarrassed and humiliated I was. At least none of my friends actually realized what had happened.
62
@Rebecca
Is it possible that such experiences contributed to your desire to get thinner?
Congratulations to you! Keep it up, you'l find, as I did, how much more you'll enjoy life when you are "unencumbered."
20
rebeccl...i'm sorry for your humiliation, rebecca...such a bad experience...i hope future outings will be worth all your trouble. maybe good people will give you extra consideration because you seem such a nice person..
5
I’m about the same size as many of the women interviewed here, and I have definitely encountered this. It’s even more troublesome because, as a strict vegan with additional dietary restrictions to boot, there are already a limited number of places where I can eat the food at all. It’s especially frustrating when all-vegan restaurants neglect to consider that thier clientele comes in the same size range as the general population, given their supposed focus on justice for all living beings.
Frankly, many of the people quoted in this article give the restaurant industry more credit than they deserve. Many restaurants do NOT want people who look likely us dining in their establishments, because they know just how intensely fat people are hated by the “young and cool” crowd, and that many of the latter harbour enough prejudice that they will avoid dining where fat people regularly do.
179
I would much rather sit near someone who is large than some young and cool hipsters talking about all their food allergies. Almost couldn't enjoy my wine they must have discussed it loudly for at least 30 minutes.
49
@Red I'm sure vegan restaurants assume their clientele will be thinner because veganism sells itself as a weight loss plan as much as a 'nutrition' solution. I'm sorry you have been mistreated.
25
@Red
Thank you. This is so true.
12
very mixed feelings about this:I am a bit overweight and have been obese, Imam completely against mean overt fat shaming. At the same time I am worried about the trend to normalize being 400 lbs. It is a major health issue, and maybe some social problems associated can be motivating to improve one’s health.
290
@honeybluestar thank you for this well-balanced and considerate perspective.
15
@honeybluestar
I'm glad that you're against "mean overt fat shaming", yet you seem to imply that you are for structuring our environment so that fat people can't participate. I'm amazed that you, and others, seem to miss these important points:
1) No one is trying to "normalize" anything. "Normal" for human beings is to have a variety of shapes and sizes in a population. That means that it is normal to have tall people, short people, fat people, thin people, medium sized people... people of all descriptions and abilities. It would be abnormal for all to be the same.
2) None of us has the right to police other people's bodies. We don't know anything about them. If I look at a fat person, all I know is that they are fat. Nothing else. I don't know their health status. I don't know how fit they are. I have no right to police them in any way.
3) Shame and discomfort are not motivators -- they are de-motivators on average. If a person receives only messages of opprobrium when they try to walk, exercise, have a meal, get a job... Then what? That's supposed to be motivating?
4) A restaurant that designs and manages its physical space to handle any type of customer that walks through the door would make money and get repeat business.
Unfortunately, and as many of these comments show, it is more often about looks than it is about accommodating a diverse clientele. That's just shameful.
10
@Phillyburg
I am not called upon to judge a person who is of a certain weight. I know nothing about that person.
You mention "normal". In the past, yes... There were people that large. They were less visible. Why? I don't know. Were there as many? Hard to tell, because we don't really have GOOD population data that can be compared over long periods (from the 70's yes, but it is difficult the farther back you go). We have, however, somehow convinced ourselves that only thin people existed during some putative halcyon past.
I think back to my childhood in the 60's and 70's. There were children of all sizes. There were very thin ones. There were very large ones. I remember them clearly.
Are there, objectively, more people who are very large? Maybe, but it is hard to compare numbers with a time for which comparable numbers are not available. Let us say, however, for the sake of argument, that there are a larger number of larger people. I note that, with many more medications to treat a variety of diseases, there are more medications which cause weight gain. Some women have found the Pill a trigger for weight gain... There are MANY variables to a person's weight, and weight (in and of itself) is as heritable as height. Judging people based on weight is wrong.
Again -- what is normal is having people of all sizes. It is up to us to treat everybody with dignity and respect, and judge people only by the content of their characters.
5
This person talks about "accommodating" obese people in restaurants and there is something that obese people are NOT getting. Disregard/cry/stomp your feet /blame- but they will NEVER get away from the obesity related health issues. As a nurse, I can tell you- obese people often can't fit in MRI/CT scan machines. I have seen it. Restaurants are the least of their problems. Also lifting obese patients by hospital staff is a major challenge...we can be injured. It takes a lot of staff to life a 350 person. The medical community - will NEVER - endorse obesity- it is slow death. Hip replacements- knee replacements- diabetes- certain cancers-fatty liver- depression are just a few of certain obesity related ailments. The ONLY solution- is to get in a program- (as in ANY addiction) and lose the weight- slowly. Face the issues that cause you to over eat and change. But medical acceptance....that will NEVER happen.
596
@Sam, Recently we had a serious accident on site where a worker fell down an elevator shaft. We were expecting a Life Flight helicopter, but the man was too large to fit in it.
37
@george
Agreed. However, I think something that is often overlooked is the subtle distinction between shaming, and choosing not to enable or encourage self destructive behavior.
I'm truly not certain this applies or not to restaurant situations, but I imagine it comes into play often enough at medical facilities.
18
@Sam When you write as a nurse that the medical community will NEVER endorse obesity, did you consider the relationship of household income, obesity and access to quality health care? Will the U S. medical community ever accept responsibility of providing health care for everyone like medicare or "single payer" irregardless or income or ability to pay.
20
Excellent article. Thank you!
Has being fat/obese now become an identity preference vs. being a medical condition?
280
@johnny I noticed that as well. I couldn't decide if the author was trying to add some lightheartedness by allowing a reader to pick between large, plus-size, or fat or was really going for identity preference.
15
@johnny
But for rare cases of genetic disorders, it's both.
2
I understand the need to be comfortable when eating out and general accessibility in day to day life. However, we also need to recognize and accept that these people are objectively unhealthy and are slowly killing themselves. Rather than request the world change for them, they should start changing their habits to be healthier.
301
@Shey
You don't know that bigger people are "objectively unhealthy" just by looking at them. A 250 pound person could once have weighed 400 pounds. Another 250 pound person could have perfect labs and an active lifestyle, while somebody trimmer could be full of cancer. Furthermore, obesity is a structural problem as much as an individual problem. Restaurants have a role to play in that as well.
9
@Shey the world has changed. Why do you think we have so many obese people all of a sudden? It's because I grew up thinking that I should drink soda when I was thirsty and that veggie pasta was a healthier choice than a chicken salad that had mayo on it. What about all of the fast food joints and billboards one passes on the way home after a long day. I work at a school and see kids eat junk food all day long. The world has changed, and I don't think that shaming overweight people will change it back.
11
@Shey I have watched some of my friends struggle very hard to lose weight only to gain back more in the end. They are completely aware that they are fat and wish they weren't. They have been on strict diets and frankly eat more healthily than I do, but they gain weight anyway. It is cruel of you to be in the fat shaming crowd. Maybe you should change some of your habits.
9
For a restaurant to get new chairs and redesign their seating to accommodate obese people could just simply be out of their budget.
41
I'm shocked that the New York Times is ignoring how restaurants are a health disaster for the obese. Restaurant food is often much more unhealthy than home cooked meals. They have oversized portions, high calories, much more salt, much more fat, etc. Restaurant recipes are designed for the taste buds with little consideration for health; the whole restaurant experience is designed to entice you to consume as much as possible. Also, diners have little control over those unhealthy recipes.
The Times instead should be writing articles about how the obese can eat healthier in restaurants and at home.
52
@Max they write articles about eating healthy every week.
2
@Max If you think that's any different from what you can buy anywhere in the grocery store except in the produce aisle you're kidding yourself.
3
I’m so excited that this article was published in the food section. It ties in with the statement in the article about how restaurants don’t want to discuss accommodating larger customers because they don’t want their food linked to weight gain. So many people/brands/companies don’t want to be associated with “an unhealthy lifestyle” that they completely ignore and alienate a large (no pun intended) percentage of the population. Just look at fashion designer that don’t make sizes larger than XL. That is a conscious choice about what bodies wear their clothes. So thank you, NYT Food and Kim Severson, for not being afraid to mention fat people exist and are human beings who eat in public.
47
@Jennifer Pihlak
I wish I could recommend your comment a thousand times.
@Sheila Brody
A fashion designer could get a different model (a larger one) to create an appropriate toile and an appropriate shape. Some actually do. In addition, clothes for larger sizes ARE more expensive. A jaunt through any catalog or online clothing site proves this.
Many fashion designers have stated clearly the type of person whom they want wearing their clothing. The commenter to whom you are responding is absolutely correct.
1
@Sheila Brody
Clothing doesn't all cost the same. Many stores do have different pricing for larger clothes, whether higher size numbers or long/tall.
2
The first photo reminds me of some bar stools that are wickedly uncomfortable, even for us lower sized folks. The metal ones with the low backs are torture! My slim husband had a backache for days after sitting in a metal straight backed chair. I can imagine how difficult it must be for the people mentioned in this article. These "designer" seats may be durable and stylish but OUCH! Your patrons want to be comfortable while enjoying their meals, ok?
32
Hmmm...
This is the solution, As opposed to losing weight?
New education is needed to train Americans not to indulge in the Greed filled, Corporate America, horrific food industry.
It’s lazy and unhealthy.
35
@Anton Yup. Just like the solution to gun control is metal detectors. Americans apparently hate addressing problems at their source.
2
It's a puzzle why people get fat. Sometimes it's because they eat too much fast food like McD's or too much pizza.
For some, and I don't know the stats it's because of a hereditary problem. No matter what they eat, or not eat, they will get fat.
So what's the answer? I have a friend who was grossly overweight, read FAT! She found a diet that really worked. She lost many pounds. So many that when I saw her I didn't know who she was. She must stay on this diet forever but she says it's worth it. The diet includes chocolate. What's not to like!!
7
How about take-out only restaurants everywhere, no seating at all? - that way nobody is ever left out. All equal. All miserable. Don't take this wrong, because it has nothing to do with large people, it has to do with pampering, and more pampering. People want everything perfect and designed just for them...well the world is too complicated for that...I'm sorry. This type of thing has reached a ridiculous level in my opinion. People are demanding too much from others to accommodate their every need and desire. Has anyone ever heard of making the best of things? The world is not a perfect place, and we should not expect every business owner to be fully accommodating. Too much, sorry. Go ahead, lambaste. And yes, I am thin, so my opinion is likely out of step and probably inconsiderate to many. I confess. But I do not expect that everywhere I go I have accommodation that suit me perfectly. Be glad you live in a civilized city and can afford to go out and eat - in many places of the world you are lucky to eat at all, let alone while enjoying a comfy chair. Sacrifice is a virtue.
67
while obese people may be inconvenienced in finding suitable seating in restaurants, theaters, airplanes, etc., their problem pales in comparison to those of us in wheelchairs and power chairs, despite the accessibility requirements of the Americans With Disability Act.
249
It works the other way too. If you are small, it is assumed that you need NO room. So you end up eating liked a praying mantis, or being unable to eat at all.
20
@Oddity At 4'10, it's an unspoken assumption that I will always be in the middle seat in the back of a car. Thankfully, being on a plane is marginally more comfortable for me than my taller peers.
3
Just say no or drive yourself?
I like bar stools to have a back to support my spine and I groan when they don't because I know that after a while my back will begin to hurt like mad. But hopefully restaurants can have both designs to accommodate all sizes.
And booths in general are terribly uncomfortable, whether you're fat or thin or short or tall. They have the aura of a confessional -- all that dark wood and gloomy leather. The table is always too far or too close to the bench and too high for good measure. I wish restaurants focused more on good, comfortable furniture taking into account the needs of all its patrons. Good piece.
15
I am fat and I appreciate this article so much. Let me tell you a story not about a restaurant, but a Broadway show.
I was buying tickets to see Anastasia and was very concerned about being comfortable. I called the number on the website to see what size their seats were. The number on the website was of course not the theater, it was a box office for all Broadway shows. I eventually contacted the theater after and they did not know the size of the seats. The best they could give me was "do you fit ok on a plane? if you do, you should be ok." Then I tried to buy a seat with an armrest that went up and was told I was not allowed to because it was reserved just for people in wheelchairs. So I called the theater again and asked if I could come not during showtime to test the size of the seats and they told me no. How much more do I need to do to ensure my comfort and that of those surrounding me?
38
This seems a failure of an industry. It would seem prudent to cater to class of customers who are more likely than most to be big spenders.
6
No back on bar seats? Will this issue now divide those of us who prefer -- nay, require -- some back support from those of us who do not fit in the confined space they define? I would hate to see these two groups (I'm a member of both) at war over this, when there are so many other service issues, such as extreme noise, ageism, sexism, and racism, that affect everyone.
One solution could be placing the seat at a greater distance from the bar, although that would make eating at the bar more difficult for everyone. There might not be a one-size-fits-all solution (pun intended), but it's something restaurateurs and restaurant designers should serious consider.
3
As a 30 year-old with a very painful disability out of my control (spinal arthritis, its auto-immune) it makes me furious that we would consider obesity a disability, when for the vast majority of people it is in their control to lose weight. There needs to be some consequence to maintaining a grossly unhealthy lifestyle, be it obesity, drug use, smoking, lack of vaccinations, etc.
For example, that child who got tetanus because his parents refused to vaccinate him...his $800k medical bill should not be covered by insurance (and by insurance I mean us).
There's enough people who try to maintain a healthy lifestyle who still have serious enough health issues to be considered disabled... let's hold the voluntarily obese accountable for their weight.
156
@Brett
Do you think obesity is not possibly an autoimmune condition comparable to your spondilitis? I ask because I happen to suffer from each of those conditions to a degree, and I see some parallels. My genetic switches just happened to get flipped in such a way that one day it started to hurt just to lay in bed. They were also flipped to gain weight easily, despite my healthy whole-foods diet. You might be surprised to find out that many obese people eat just like you and exercise just like you and still get fat. Other people might be surprised that people who have never sustained an injury are saddled with crippling pain. I bet you've gotten lots of advice on treatments you should pursue for your arthritis. Does it help you get better? Does it fix your genes? Does other people's judgement take your pain away?
13
@Brett
Weight gain is not as controllable as many would like to think. There was a study done on former contestants of "The Biggest Loser" who had all successfully lost weight. Most regained at least some of the shed weight, and some were heavier than they had ever been. One thing that was proven was that their metabolisms had actually slowed down, so that their bodies were hanging on to calories even more tenaciously than before they lost the weight. There is a lot science does not yet understand about the metabolic underpinnings of obesity and how to address them. Until we figure that out, more compassion for those whose weight may not be so much in their control is in order.
7
Flying is the worst and who can afford two tickets? Movable booths may do the trick at restaurants. Shrinking spaces while expanding waistlines are ever increasing is the new reality that all businesses must acknowledge and accommodate. Otherwise, you may lose your most loyal customers.
2
In and Out Burger has teeny tiny booths. I hope they will reconsider their booth and counter seating to accommodate larger people.
3
When I stopped being able to fit comfortably into airline seats and restaurant booths, I knew that I, not the airplanes or restaurants, needed to change.
765
@FlipFlop When I stayed the same size over decades and the airline seats and restaurant booths were getting smaller and smaller, I knew that airplanes and restaurants, not I, were changing.
73
@FlipFlop - please don't lend your acceptance to airlines' ridiculously shrunken seats and legroom. For people of any weight, today's airline seats are not humane to sit in.
49
@Koslo While true, staying as a plus size person is what takes a toll on your health, not seats or booths.
18
Just another example of cause and effect we dont want to address here in the US. Restaurants encouraged obesity with portion sizes that have tripled in size over the last half century. Thanks to all that government subsidized wheat and corn, amongst other things, Americans on average are much larger. But capitalism says to.turn a profit you must fit as many bodies in as possible and seat as many tables in a night as you can just to cover overhead.
So.we the consumers get to pay a premium for tiny seats, with tiny tables so the entire dinner service is musical plates. Heaven forbid you should want to.linger over a $15 appetizer. Smaller theater seats because at $200 bucks a seat you should want to become intimately acquainted with the knees of a stranger. And the greatest scourge; the ever shrinking airline seat. I'd love to see a.graph of how the price of an airline ticket increased in relation to the decreasing size of the seat.
15
Instead of bending over backward to normalize obesity, US society has to accept the fact that harmful overweight is a public health problem of immense proportions.
I agree it's not their fault and they did not do it to themselves, but the obese need every encouragement possible in order to return to a healthy weight.
30
I actually prefer the kind of bar seats in the picture. I never feel comfortable in a bar seat w/o a back.
5
I’m at size 4 and sometimes I can barely fit in a downtown restaurant. Hope this brings enough attention that cool doesn’t mean casual or comfortable.
14
Interesting perspectives abound in this article, but I question if patrons’ obesity should require special attention from restaurateurs. Frankly, I don’t know if “fat” people have legal protections for accommodations. Any comments?
4
I am tall, I am uncomfortable on trans-oceanic flights. Airlines design for the statistical mean, +/- a few points. If I want more comfort, I know I must pay. It's reality. Accept it and get on with life as it was handed to you.
62
@Dr. Bob
And the big difference is that as a tall person, you can't change yourself at all.
But for the obese- and I was once morbidly obese, most of them can and NEED to change. The woman who flies around the country, is obese, and makes her living trying food, needs a solution to her weight management, not a better restaurant seat. Dining out a lot makes it INCREDIBLY hard to maintain a lifestyle conducive to weight loss, unless you have really strong willpower. If you are a 300lb or 400lb person, you have a severe medical issue and need to address it, not find ways to continually accommodate your unhealthy habits and growing size. Find new ways to socialize that don't include eating and drinking. Find a new job that isn't centered on eating unhealthy food.
300 lb and 400lb people used to be rare. 20 years ago I was 280, 5'7 and it was so hard to find clothes, everything was uncomfortable, people were mean and life was one embarrassment after another and THAT was a huge part of what motivated me to change- was that I was rapidly growing too large to live a normal life.
53
@Dr. Bob Exactly. Things will always be designed for the average. People at the extremes (too short, too tall, to heavy, too skinny) will always face less than idea situation whether in seating, clothing, or doorways. A difference shouldn't always be treated as some protected category.
14
As an employee of the restaurant industry for over 10 years, it’s always eye opening to read insightful pieces such as this article. There is most definitely an unconscious bias to be found in the design and layout restaurants in America, a problem that worsens in high urban areas as the articles states. Naturally skinny myself, but born and raised by a larger, loving family, I’ve noticed these biases play out in many family visits. I fully recommend sharing pieces like this article or the episode of This American Life “Tell Me I’m Fat” that shed light on the shame being unknowingly pressed upon fatter individuals. Open and honest conversations help humanize people’s daily struggles and help us to connect with one another.
Bravo to the author and subjects of this article!
59
@Justin
Being in the industry my entire life, I wonder if you've considered all of the pressures on restaurant design, especially in expensive urban areas.
10
@TLibby
It's only become a topic of conversation amongst myself and my friends who own and work in restaurants in NYC and other metropolitan areas as more and more examples like this article are written and published. There is no reason with having this knowledge when designing future restaurants that they can't be outfitted to be more acommodating to all potential dining guests.
5
How about addressing the fact that over 50% of the nation is now in the medically obese category? At what cost to society? While I recognize a small percentage may have legitimate weight issues, let’s face it, the vast majority are from overeating and junk food. So instead of addressing that issue, we have to be PC and tiptoe around the real issue.
218
@Laurel S
But what is the real issue? Is it "overeating and junk food" per se? No. It's an agriculture policy that subsidizes simple carbs; cities rife with food deserts; a hyper-commercialized society that inundates people with ads for unneeded products; over-specialization of labor that forces people to sit for half their waking hours; widespread poverty; and, lately, the monopolization of people's free time by tech companies exploiting human psychology.
These are broad, social issues in which we all play a part. People with what you call illegitimate weight issues are not solely to blame.
23
if airlines, theatres, restaurants etc start setting aside separate booths and seats to accommodate plus size individuals, this will create an unpleasant atmosphere for those people who may feel set apart and made a potential object of derision.
Unfortunately it's human nature for some people who will point and say "oh that's the fat section".
On the other hand, to completely refurbish existing venues so as to make seating accommodations throughly democratic is not financially feasible.
I don't expect airlines or anyone else for that matter to begin changing established seating arrangements even for a new business venture, after all it's all about revenue; the more seats, the more revenue.
otherwise operating costs go up. consumers foot the bill.
If you want to open a new restaurant with larger booths and tables/seats, that means less seating capacity/less revenue; that is of course you can afford the rent on a huge space, and most fledgling chefs cannot.
5
Smaller people will pay extra for roomier seats on planes, especially if it's in coach without the first class price. So even that is no guarantee.
I have the opposite problem. At 5' 0" and weigh 92 pounds, I am the person everyone wants to sit next to. Everyone thinks they can squeeze in next to me or vice versa, especially on the subway. Sometimes they are practically in my lap. It can be quite painful.
Hostesses tend to seat a large person and me together, causing a great embarrassment for both of us. In the best situations, there is a meeting of the minds and we rise above the situation, having experienced it before.
At 65, I look much younger than my age, and am tired of being told how cute I am, but that is a subject for another day.
16
@cl As a fellow short person I can empathize. What I really hate are the really high tables with barstools so tall I can barely climb onto them.
8
I understand exactly what this article is referring to, but I am not "plus size." No, I don't weigh a lot, but please know that I am only 4'8" tall. Want to talk about finding chairs that fit me?? It's pretty close to impossible. My legs always dangle, so I typically sit cross-legged. That has left me, at the age of 66, with many back and hip problems. But do I complain about it? No. Would I love to see changes in the way everyone is made comfortable? Yes!
33
Public programming in preventive medicine to slim-down the people rather than catering to their obesity would result in a much healthier population with tremendous savings in the high costs of treating preventable conditions such as heart disease, stroke and diabetes for which obesity is a well-known marker.
24
Restaurants run on slender profit margins. Space is expensive, particularly in the major metropolitan areas where high end restaurants are congregated.
At a somewhat modest 5' 10" and 160 pounds, I'm often uncomfortable in restaurants in places like Manhattan, where it seems the seating is designed to encourage patrons to 'eat it and beat it' and tables can be crammed so close together you can read the texts on the cellphones at neighboring tables without wanting to (or nab those ring-toning phones and plunge them in the nearest carafe full of ice water).
The sad fact is that human beings were not designed to be 5' 6" tall and over 300 pounds. Furniture and interior design never has been scaled at that extreme end of the bell curve, any more than it is designed for adults who grow to be no more than 4 feet tall and weigh 75 pounds.
No doubt more should be done to accommodate and show respect for those at the extremes - but it's not exactly a surprise that chairs, tables, bar stools, airline seats, dining room sets, sofas, beds, doorways and everything else in our world is made to a scale suitable for about 95% of the population, not 5% of it.
I'll bet the Michelin starred restaurant that gave Ms. Armstrong a reservation at the chef's counter fully intended to grant her one of the most prized seats in the house. Had she advised them in advance that she would arrive at 5' 4" and over 300 pounds, they might have had a reasonable opportunity to accommodate her needs.
51
@chambolle
"Furniture and interior design never has been scaled at that extreme end of the bell curve"
Experience today tells us that, especially in a metropolitan area, you are likely to have a guest at your restaurant who is at one of the extremes of the bell curve. There are plenty of furniture manufacturers who can provide chairs that will hold heavier patrons. These same chairs can hold the lighter ones with no problem.
Design needs to follow the requirements to be fulfilled. That is, chairs need to accommodate potential users - the potential users don't need to accommodate the chairs.
1
Most restaurants don't have unlimited space and pay high rents. The more tables they can get in, the better their chances of financial survival. A restaurant that caters to people who take up more space is obliged to seat fewer people, and make up the difference by charging more per item. The same logic holds for seats on a plane. Need a double size seat? Pay a double size ticket.
163
Agreed. I have spinal stenosis and use a wheelchair. When traveling on an airplane I always book 2 seats for a modicum of comfort. On every single flight I endure rude comments from folks who want my empty aisle seat instead of theirs ( I sit in the middle to avoid jostling with my husband at the window) and who frequently complain to the stewards trying to get their way.
I wish people would mind their own business and stop with rude and snarky comments.
8
This issue isn't just relevant for plus-size people; people with disabilities deserve to be acknowledged by restaurateurs and restaurant hosts as well.
I've lost count of the number of times my mother (who has limited mobility and uses a cane) and I have gone out to eat and a host starts to lead us to a table way in the back of the room. Like Mr. Tomlinson, I've become more assertive about asking for a table closer to the front of the room to save my mother some steps.
17
I recently went to a movie theatre in which the seats were so small I was unable to sit back. I had to sit at the edge of my seat for the entire movie. I would’ve rather have walked out but I was with a group of friends. When I go to the movies I now make sure the arm rests can be moved up and go with a Friend i feel comfortable with to keep that armrest up.
2
Add the friendly skies of United. I am of normal size had have trouble sitting. Whatever happened to taking care of the consumer?
23
I'm so glad this is being discussed on a national platform. I hope restaurants, hosts, and designers can become more aware of this issue and take steps to make public spaces more accessible to larger bodies!
6
“We are the paying customers. We are paying you. We want to be comfortable and treated like humans.”
Also key is being treated with respect and fairly - PERIOD!
I have a bias when it comes to people who "live in a larger body" because I am one of them. I always hope people would want to do anything and everything to make me feel comfortable, at ease and relaxed.
This article made me cry but it also gave me hope because perhaps someone will actually "get it" and rethink the entire subject.
Thank you for writing this article.
29
The practical issue that precedes this for restaurants is whether design for hospitality is more a visual than physical thing. A lot of restaurants want a smart, edgy look and lots of noise and kinds of seating that encourages a younger crowd that is more likely to drink and eat smaller plates and higher turnover, as well as that are quicker to clean at closing time. (TL:DR version: design for the eye vs design for the body.)
It's a choice restaurants are free to make.
Also, elderly patrons tend to want chairs with arms.
The thing is, it's not only fat people who have issues with chair comfort: it's also people with less visible issues (like torn leg muscles - which you probably won't see/notice, but that can make sitting for long on a tiny or edgy chair not feasible).
In my experience, restaurants do best to have a variety of seating - banquettes (by far the most accommodating seating), chairs with and with arms, chairs for quick turnover at the bar and chairs that are more comfortable for longer service turns (not little bistro circle chairs), et cet.
4
This is not about fat discrimination but about my experience in the 70's as a working woman who traveled for my work. In those "dark ages" a woman dining alone was shunned in the same way described in this article. I was often seated by the swinging doors to the kitchen. So, I was an avid reader of Gourmet and a foodie before that term was coined. I would check the ads and articles in Gourmet for restaurants where I was going. Then I would call the restaurant to make a reservation noting that I'd seen the them in Gourmet and would like the Chef to prepare a meal of his choice for me (yes, Chefs were all men back then). When I arrived, I was a Guest! I got a great table, visits with the chef, secret recipes, roses, friendship. Yes, it wasn't fair. Yes, you can figure out a way to work within the system as the people noted in the article have done so creatively.
13
@CH So, I guess you missed this article....
https://www.thisisinsider.com/nyc-restaurant-bans-women-from-eating-alone-at-the-bar-2019-1
3
While I empathize with the limitations large size diners have- there is only so much accommodation we can expect without it becoming a burden on the normal sized diners. As a smaller diner do I need to be 2 feet away from the table at a booth only because large diner needs more space. We seem to fixate on the issues of large people fitting into spaces (with large meaning obese). What about smaller people (under 5 feet) or taller (over 6.5)? These people really can't do anything to change their size.
63
@MM I hear you! I am fairly average, but my arms are a little short - I hate when I have to eat with my arms fully outstretched because I am so far from the table.
1
@MM Thanks for pointing out problems small diners have. I am 5 foot 1 inch, 104 pounds. I can almost never put my feet flat on the ground while sitting in a chair in a restaurant. I get a cramp in my legs from having to point my toes all evening. I also find that often the table is too far away from the chair. I don't know who restaurant furniture is designed for!
3
@MM
Having tables solves that problem. If booths are to be used, then having the tables free-standing (not nailed to the wall or floor) can contribute to everyone's comfort as well. Need the table closer? The server can shift it for you. Farther? Ditto. If they don't make the space too narrow, then a larger diversity of people can be accommodated.
2
I never really thought about this issue until a few weeks ago when two of my dining companions struggled to sit at the counter where we were seated because we didn't have a restaurant reservation. The restaurant was trying to accommodate us, but the space was very uncomfortable for my friends.
2
One thing I don't see addressed here are the narrow profit margins restaurants are already working with. As we don't seem to be getting any smaller, restaurateurs will have to make some difficult decisions to balance comfort v. fitting enough customers into the space available.
9
I know that there are many medical conditions that cause people to struggle with weight beyond normal circumstances (PCOS, chronic health problem requiring long-term use of steroids, depression, etc). But if this is not the case, I imagine it would be cheaper and more beneficial to hire a nutritionist than to continue buying 2 airline seats per flight. Less time consuming to cook at home than scour the internet or apps for appropriate seating. I am not a skinny individual by any measure. I disagree with fat-shaming since you never know if that person has a medical condition or chronic health issue. But I feel physically uncomfortable at my current weight, and I am pursuing daily physical exercises to improve my fitness and boost my good cholesterol. I cook healthy meals at home, emphasizing fresh vegetables and protein. Heart diseases runs in my family and it's a big concern for me to lose weight right now. I am worried about my heart health in the long term; I've lost too many family members to heart disease to let my weight continue to rise.
20
@Laura: Loved your sensible approach to this, and especially the suggestion of hiring a nutritionist and your own habits of cooking at home plus daily exercise. Kudos to you (and I don't mean that in a patronizing way), and I hope that others will follow your example.
6
Theater seats are the worst. You don't even have to be fat to find these miserable. Trying to trip sideways past seated people to get to your seat, trying to reach down and behind to flip down the seat, and then squeezing down between the solid armrests. The whole thing is torture.
111
@ Madeline Conant Midwest
An amusing point about making it to your theater or concert seat. In the US, people usually step carefully with their back to the ones seated. In Switzerland, a polite way is to face the seated, and the US Consulate in Zürich even distributes a note of advice to US visitors and expatriates.
18
@Tuvw Xyz
I don't know where I picked up that tip, but I always face those who are seated while I make my way to my seat. Thanks for reminding me.
2
@Madeline Conant, that's why I go early and sit in the front row at my local theater, where there is a nice walking space between the seats and the stage or the screen, depending on the specific room.
There is no "plus size." There are only sizes.
94
@aging not so gracefully To be fair, it's nice to have some things identified as plus size. I like to know up front whether i'll be able to shop in a store, for instance - if it says "plus size" on the front window, odds are i'll be able to fit in their clothes. I get tired of walking in, looking at all the size 2 mannequins, and walking out again.
12
How would you determine selecting size for designing clothes and clothes shopping then?
2