I have lived in France for many years. When the Strauss-Kahn scandal broke, I was appalled at the reaction of French people who treated me as a "puritanical" American, while defending the former IMF and potential presidential candidate's behavior as nothing out of the ordinary. One elected official even made a statement to the effect that powerful men had always had their way with servants. More recently, Catherine Deneuve and friends wrote an editorial saying that MeToo was ruining romance. Assault is not romance. Exhibitionists and subway masturbators and touchy-feely bosses and "funny uncles" are not picturesque parts of life; their victims maybe male or female. But the perpetrators are boys and men, who are not to be excused for any such behaviors on the basis of history or hormones. Not all boys and men engage in such repulsive behavior, but it seems that all that do feel quite entitled and indeed receive public support, a guffaw and a pat on the back. If a couple of them miss out on prestigious appointments, or have to spend a few years in jail after a lifetime of abusing others, maybe they're just taking one for the team, tough luck guys.
Imagine how far humanity could progress if the rest of us were not repeatedly traumatized and then gaslighted by a critical mass of males throwing around concepts of "masculinity" and "manliness" as a front for normalizing egocentric, psychopathic, anti-social bullying. It starts with boys not being called out on this type of behavior by parents and teachers and it leads all the way to the White House. How do I feel this week? The same as every week since I was born female. Like I live in an insane global culture that has normalized my dehumanization. I have traveled the world and there is no place in which I do not feel like a second class citizen. I spend a lot of time alone in nature, it's very healing.
As a 73 year old woman, now widowed and with two grown daughters, I'm both saddened and encouraged by the Cosby conviction and the Kavanaugh debacle as well as the #MeToo era. I'm saddened because humanity has not evolved enough to rise above sexual discrimination and violence which can not only destroy lives (both male and female) but can also drive a wedge between males and females. On the other hand, I'm encouraged because sexual predators seem to represent a very small percentage of the population, and this needs to be emphasized because it means most men are decent, most women are decent too. While the #MeToo movement is necessary and has resulted in dramatic and often disgusting revelations, this is not a women's war against men, but rather a long overdue reckoning for the relatively few male sexual abusers and the even fewer female sexual abusers. This distinction is crucial for both men and women to keep in mind, because again, most of us, both male and female, are decent human beings. The ultimate goal is justice and also equality. Final thoughts: sexual abusers of any age are equally guilty. Boys will be boys as an excuse for rape or groping or any other abusive activity is wrong. Allowing our current president to avoid a thorough investigation followed by appropriate punishment if indicated for his alleged sexually abusive behavior serves to normalize this behavior and taints us all. Same for the terrible on-going Catholic Church situation.
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It is he said, she said , in the Kavanaugh case. BUT, is it? He said more with his written yearbook pieces. He said more with his
“Written at seventeen” calendar. Do any of us know anyone who kept a calendar at 17? He said that he claims he was a virgin at seventeen and therefore couldn’t have attacked Dr Ford.(she escaped before he lost his virginity ), but not before he attacked her.
Also her history with a therapist , lie detector test, and a young girls (15 years young) fear. As well as his friend who said he was often drunk and more.
Senators, this man should not be given a seat on our highest bench.
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Fortunately the man who raped me when I was 15 (1956) was immediately captured by law enforcement officials and sent to prison for about 4 years. No one outside my immediate family was told of the incident, mostly because my parents wanted to protect me. There was no shame involved with my family. For almost 20 years I had post traumatic stress symptoms and there was no counseling help available. I have this visceral feeling of fear, disgust, anger that arises every time I hear news of women being assaulted, raped, etc. I have raised 3 wonderful, respectful sons who knew of my rape. They are gentlemen to the core and that began with telling them my story.
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Victims of sexual violence try to suppress the physical and emotional pain daily. Why wouldn’t we want to forget? The news cycle lately is making it impossible to ignore our long suppressed pain. There are survivors all around you right now and they’re trying not to hurt themselves or cry while navigating a world made for and by men. Now the news is 100% about predatory men. Women know all of this first hand so the news about these men is news for other men who are shocked by these things. Kavanaugh is clearly not qualified to have the Supreme Court seat. They can pick any number of white guy anti-choice misogynistic republican judges- any one of them will do. Why this guy? Why him?
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People need to briefly put politics aside. It shouldn't be thought of as a smear campaign and it shouldn't be used strategically to block his confirmation to the Supreme Court.
Look at what Ford is saying. Any woman who has been the victim of sexual assault (attempted or otherwise) can give you a list of reasons she didn't report or why certain details are blocked out of her memory. It's very common and it's something we all know too well. Ford's allegations and the public response to them demonstrated that the #MeToo movement hasn't made as much progress in our society as we thought. She was barely taken seriously, despite proof that she first disclosed the assault six years ago. Now others are starting to come forward and people are still skeptical.. claiming that all boys in high school do this (wrong) and that it doesn't mean he's unfit to serve as a tenured judge in the highest court in the land.
His statements have been inconsistent at best. He claims he was an innocent school boy focused on his studies who didn't party. This contradicts statements from lots of people who knew him and literally everything in his yearbook. There's enough circumstantial evidence to lend her stories (and the others') credibility.
Cosby's conviction was a step in the right direction, but clearly only a small one.
Ford isn't asking for criminal charges to be brought, she just wants the Senate to know who this man this. And I think they should listen. Very closely.
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Regarding Judge Kavanaugh and the multiple allegations of drunkenness, sexual misconduct, sticking his penis into a young, drunk girls face is enough evidence to convince me he is guilty.
It would be beneficial to this countries citizens, reputation and dignity if he would withdraw his nomination, apologize to his family, the women he abused and ayep down. He has the power to bring our country down from the clown ship of Donald Trump and back to a place of integrity, democracy and adhearance to the US Constitution. He can make good of his reputation right now and move on. I will pray he finds the courage to not be a frat rat anymore.
The news coverage has had a re-traumatizing effect as I was the victim of sexual assault by a doctor, 36 years ago. I did not report the assault . I'd assumed that no one would believe the word of a 26 year old patient over that of a prominent doctor, even .When I regained my ability to speak, I sought the advice of my attorney uncle who advised me not to tell no one, including my own mother.
I am sickened by argument that Mr. Cosby is old, and legally blind, and that he has "suffered enough" Mr. Cosby is not the victim. The victims are the women whom who raped and otherwise assaulted sexually. His age is a function of his gotten away with raping women for decades.
The coverage of the allegations against Judge Kavanaugh, the attempt to discredit Dr. Blasey and Ms. Ramirez, the arguments that it is irrelevant if Judge Kavanaugh assaulted Dr. Blasey when he was 17 because it was a long time ago, and that 17 years olds are unable to distinguish right from wrong, and the attempt to ram though an appointment of Judge Kavanaugh's appointment to the Supreme Court has been re-traumatizing .
What is at stake is no less than the safety of young women, and other woman, as the message being sent is that not only is it acceptable to rape or otherwise sexually assault women, but that one can go on to became a Supreme Court justice , and the health and well being of those of us who were sexually assaulted.
I volunteer and work as a domestic violence and sexual assault victim advocate, and as a survivor myself, I must say I'm incredibly grateful and relieved that Bill Cosby has been sentenced. I feel that the scale of justice is beginning to tilt in favor of victims for which I'm very relieved. It's very difficult to face trauma at work and come home to the news, which I usually enjoy, focused on trauma as well. It's had me struggling seriously with self care.
As for Brett Kavanaugh, I'm no stranger to the judicial system. I'm a leftist and registered democrat, and I still feel that Merrick Garland, Kavanaugh's superior in his very court, would be a much better fit for the Supreme Court. While I don't think that Kavanaugh's life or career should be ruined due to these accusations, I think his willful ignorance to every kind of sexual misconduct he has encountered in his career is notable, and that in light of these allegations and his vehement denials of the allegations, he has no place as one of the nine American citizens who sit at the top of our judicial branch. I don't feel comfortable with how little he takes accountability of himself. I'm sure that he's a great basketball coach for his daughters but I think that the Republican party should stop treating this as a smear campaign by Democrats and an elaborate ruse to stop any nomination, and instead just pick a better nominee. Mr. Kavanaugh can continue his current position and work on himself.
My eighteen year old daughter was held by a fraternity at an Ohio university after being abducted from her dorm by an ex boyfriend and his fraternity mates. The tentacles of that event continue to reach through every nook and cranny of my family's life thirty one years later.
Timing is everything, and victims of sexual abuse and indecent assault are finally being heard. I was abused by my older brother 50 years ago. It took me decades to gather the courage to declare this out loud and gain enough perspective about my life to see how deeply it affected the many troubled relationships I had experienced since then. as part of self-healing, I wrote a book, (Tree of Lives) about long buried, unaddressed trauma and how it affects everyone around us.
There is an important postscript to Andrea Constand's victim impact statement. By persisting these many years, she assigned great personal meaning and value to a painful, life-altering experience. The Cosby verdict will influence more careful investigation of complaints, respectful treatment of complainants, laws and statutes of limitation, the rate of complaints being brought forward, and, most importantly, the future behavior of potential offenders. Generations that follow will now understand that sexual assault, abuse and harassment are deeply wrong, will not be tolerated, and may be punished. My abuser died 30 years ago and so will never be held accountable. Ms. Constand's actions have brought meaning and hope to those of us who haven't been able to obtain justice for ourselves. Thousands of spirits are a little lighter today.
The question really is has he been lying over his background or not? There are contradictions between what he remembers of his youth--yet even I, at eighty plus, remember the general tone of my activities when I was a teen. Some good, some bad, and I'm sure details may be forgotten...but the general background is consistent. He just remembers being a choir boy--not a participant in any of the activities he bragged about in his yearbook. If they didn't happen, why was he showing off?
Lying to the senate is serious and should be disqualifying,
If this debate really was about women, then this issue would’ve been raised immediately when Kavanaugh was nominated. The timing of this entire scenario smells too much of politics for me to understand the sudden concern for women that - if genuine - would’ve been considered much earlier.
I stand up for women who have incredible inspiring courage to be the pioneers in setting a precedent to limit men's abuse of power.
However a large portion of my growing childhood was through "Picture Perfect" and "The Cosby Show" - as a child I felt so close to Bill Cosby who seemed like my jolly TV uncle and teacher in those programs.
When I saw photos of him handcuffed after his sentencing, I feel like I lost some of my childhood too.
Some people, whether in defence of Mr. Kavanaugh or not, have said that they don't care what he did in high school. I'm in high school. Personally, I do care what he did in high school. I care because it would be nice to know that boys can't get away with things in high school because you know, "boys will be boys". What kind of message does it send to high school boys if Mr. Kavanaugh is appointed as a supreme court justice? In my opinion, not a good one. It's essentially saying that it doesn't matter what you do in high school, you can make a girl feel scared and abused, you can rape her, but it's okay. It's okay because you could still potentially be a supreme court justice. Your actions when you are 17 don't matter, you don't have to be held accountable because you can still "make it". Not appointing Mr. Kavanaugh would be one step closer to demolishing rape culture.
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Kava guy didn’t answer any of senator Kamala Harris “ yes or no” simple questions whether he talked to ANYONE about the Mueller investigation . He kept avoiding answering. It was obviously good enough for the Republicans on the judiciary committee but it’s clearly not good enough for the rest of us out here who are still able and WILLING to think clearly. Kavanghu conducted himself like someone who avoid talking . Yet - he was at the hearing for the sole reason of answering questions.
The Dem’s didn’t get the full documents on kavanghu so they STILL are unable to find out about him.
Senator Grassley has refused to summon the ONLY WITNESS who was in the room with Dr.
Ford and kavanghu - how does THAT sit with legal, let alone common sense of any inquiry?! The American people are not as dumb as the politicians seem to think we are. We can tell the difference between a fair and unfair proceedings.
This whole circus is not at all about finding out how Kavanaugh fits for the high court. It’s about how low and immmoral our system allows elected officials to subvert / manipulate in order to “win”. Not only they cannot win. But we all lose as our democracy is further dropping to the lowest levels possible.
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Both gentlemen are weak of character and seem to emit a certain fraudulent “stench “: Mr Cosby in playing the role of an upstanding family man, and Judge Kavanaugh promoting himself as a non political “fair” court employee.
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I am so deeply triggered I can hardly stand it. Why does this keep happening & why can’t we stop it???
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@JennaLee Very tough for women now. I have to meditate double-time, JennaLee. You are not alone.
Mr. Crosby admitted to his indiscretions. He did not back step. He faced his accusers, been judged and sentenced. Andrea Constand and the #MeToo movement can be proud taking down an 81 year old man after 14 years since the assault. The sad thing is the number of men (not women) that have been brought down by the #MeToo movement. These men must have been guilty because they didn’t put up much of a fight to defend themselves. They just simply fail from grace and moved on. There was no sentencing day for them.
Judge Kavanaugh denied the allegations and has taken action to defend himself. He is speaking out, unlike those before him, fighting for his professional reputation and frankly for his life. I only thought I was frustrated with politicians, immigration, healthcare, Medicare and news media! The #MeToo movement places a whole new label to “frustrated women” and a whole new meaning for “retaliation”. Our government officials are like a group of spoiled brats who wants their way and if they don’t get it they’ll find someone to blame and shame them into submission! The #MeToo movement is just the ticket for those dissatisfied politicians to blaze the way for their own agenda.
How in the world can America define worldly peace when we cannot even find peace among ourselves.
I’m proud to be a woman but ashamed of what the #MeToo has come to stand for. There is always a better way!
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How many Republican Senators have said that even if Kavenaugh did what the women who are victims have alleged, even if after testifying it is evident that the victim(s) is telling the truth, it is not disqualifying becuase it was long ago, or all were just teenagers and drunk or nothing really happened ( it was a failed attempt at having sex). But IF one concludes the victims are credble then it follows that Kavenaugh IS TODAY a blatantly dishonest man and has lied repeatedly and not only should be disqualifed from serving on the Supreme Court but should also step down from the Federal Court of Appeals.
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I'm 37 raising 3 young girls and we listen to NPR in the car so my oldest, 8, has been listening the entire time. BTW #METOO. I have told her I apologize that you have to hear about this being so young but you need to know there are bad guys out there that might try to convince you today that you should do something you don't want to but at least you live in a world that says you don't have to believe the lie he says when he says you can't tell anyone. I said that at breakfast this morning.
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Reading this tonight, it finally (finally!) feels as though women are being listened to, heard, and *believed.*
I've been listening to the new episodes of Serial, and it seems -seems, and I've seen this in Chicago - that most judges are white men of Irish descent who carry a huge misogynistic streak in them. Glad to hear Judge O'Neill saw that "a serious crime was committed." [side note: the white, male judge who oversaw my mother's divorce case denied her alimony because, "you can cook rice-a-roni." seriously.]
I hope everyone who complains about women's accusations - Hello, Kavanaugh? -- has daughters, sisters, and mothers, and takes a second to think, "What if this happened to my [mom/wife/sister/daughter]? Would I believe her then?"
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Victims of sexual assault do not report the attack for a variety of reasons, the most obvious being seen clearly in the response to Dr. Ford. Disbelief, disrespect, blaming and shaming.
She knew exactly what would happen and yet she still had the courage to come forward when she saw so much was at stake.
What about the men who came forward to speak of the abuse endured at the hands of the Catholic clergy. No one diminishes them or demands proof, and priests are being removed from their posts without question. Not even from the Pope! Why is Dr. Ford's experience any different?
Because the #MeToo movement has accomplished nothing. Other than Weinstein, Cosby and possibly Moonves, none of the countless numbers of men have been subjected to criminal charges. Lost their jobs and then what? Nothing. Louis CK has returned to the stage, Matt Lauer is rumored to be on his way back.
And here we are, right back where we started, watching as Brett Kavanaugh's victim is treated with disbelief, disrespect, blame and shame. And Brett? Well, boys will be boys...isn't that a nice message to send to our sons?
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Re: Bill Cosby; felt so sad having followed & enjoyed this man's career over yrs, Of course, he deserves punishment but as a nurse can't help but wonder why he was unable to seek or get help he needed. If reported stories are true, he had a baseline narcissistic personality to begin with, but still feel his dark & unnatural behavior had to have been apparent to family,friends. Add advanced age & would not be surprised to learn he now suffers dementia. Apologies to his victims who do deserve justice, but think a state psychiatric facility would be more appropriate. He's already lost everything; any & all his good works are now gone along with his family
The Cosby Case and Kavanaugh's direct link is entitlement. One because of his fame and the other because of his social status. I don't believe Kavanaugh should be approved. His words and deeds are at odds with each other. He shouldn't be rewarded with a seat on the Supreme Court.
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It's the rage, after all, and not just from past abuse lots of us survived. It's the triggered reminders when we see continuing events that hurt more women. Trauma hurts. It's the injustice when we see liars deny. It's the mean spirited, small minded power play, subverting the highest court. It's the history of over indulged high school brats with no limits, excessive privilege, and such parental neglect that they drink too much and amass horrid ideas, acts and attitudes demeaning women. It's the arrogant, inept and atrocious yearbooks--again, unsupervised and outrageous verbal attacks on targeted women. It's old men unwilling to see others, especially women, as equals -- with narrow minds that can't see past their long terms of power and control.Mostly, it's a broken system and diminished Senate. Long term, it's a bad lesson for our kids. It's being old enough to recall decent, cooperative Republicans who cared about country over self gain! When I saw abused clients-- they needed caring and support. When I taught journalism and supervised the paper and yearbook staffs--they needed and learned rules and standards, producing responsible publications. When I reared kids, they needed and got caring, discipline and rules of behavior. When I was abused, I got support and was heard. Our country deserves caring, disciplined, informed and responsible legislators---not self serving bullies who promote only their values, demean and discount women and destroy our democracy!
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Right wing commentators keep saying the left is gleeful about holding these men accountable for their mistreatment of women. That is a mischaracterization. There is no joy in this for anyone; it's a sad, sad situation from every angle. As for Cosby, he victimized 60 women over a period of decades. It is very sad indeed that a comedian many of us grew up with from his albums to his TV show turned out to be a sexual predator, but it is alarming that he got away with it for so long. It speaks of a culture that not only enables rape but makes the rapist into some kind of hero. Kavanaugh came up in a culture where the heroics of athleticism goes along with a twisted concept of women as sport. The jailing of Cosby and the disgracing of Kavanaugh are sad but hopeful signs of a major cultural change on the horizon.
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As a 15-year old sexual assault victim and now a senior, I have cried.
reading the news.
I feel vindicated. My situation was more onerous since I was in Spain a patriarchy and a dictatorship at the time. where sex was taboo. And sexual attack victims were ostracized--often denied employment, not marriage-material, denied a passport, etc.etc.etc.). I had to turn down 2 employment offers (I had to submit mysef to a physical exam--to see if I was a virgin--a friend of mine told me--and I just did not want to take the risk).
And although Spanish men - the 2 I dated -- one for 2-3 times and another for a couple of months (an engineer) who I left because I believed American men were more romantic!!! thought that I was pretty. The attack made me feel ugly.
--just like Ms Constand - unable to trust anybody,
people just want to use me, hurt me, and drop me. I always believed - nobody would believe me.
I have had/have constant nightmares. I consulted professionals starting in my 30's--but I found no help. I had for years problems sleeping.
I turned down 2 marriages. I looked in a man--trust and innocent love--like a fatherly love. The only man I felt comfortable with-my father.
I also never told anyone--until I finished my degree--it was my graduation gift to myself. I told a co-worker --an architect -- who simply ignored me.
I started looking for a boyfriend in Europe--men are different. Actually I stopped dating men here in my early 30's
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This "me-too" thing is a bunch of nonsense. Sexual assult? Sexual advancement? Women are practically asking for it. Half naked women are sending out signals to men for action. If they are ignored they will surely be disappointed.
Don’t you see the man is all the way buckled to the neck while the woman next to him is practically naked. They are dressed for different weather.
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@angela Oh, Angela, my dear! I'm 73, have two grown daughters. Sure, some women choose to look and dress sexy. That does not mean they're asking to be raped or groped or abused in any way. They're simply choosing how to dress. Besides, psychologists say that rape and most sexual abuse is not about sex per say but rather above power, about belittling another person. Both women and men should be able to dress however they please. Period.
There was a time when women were assumed to be the cause of sexually inappropriate behavior toward them. They were either too scantily dressed, too flirtatious, too aggressive, too drunk.....whatever excuse a male could come up with to condone his sexual misconduct. Well, stop, that time is over! Zip your pants, men. No is no, however drunk or scantily clad a woman may be. That means you, too, Donald!
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@Carol.
Apparently, that time hasn't changed, given that the commenter (Angela ) whose post is directly above yours wrote the following :
"This "me-too" thing is a bunch of nonsense. Sexual assult? Sexual advancement? Women are practically asking for it. Half naked women are sending out signals to men for action. If they are ignored they will surely be disappointed. "
At first, it seemed like deja vu 27 years ago. Now, watching GOP senators dismiss and discount women, it's more like deja vu, Women's Suffrage.
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I just can't get past the fact, that in the US, men and women can be so far off the mark for recognizing it's a crime to assault women. There's not even agreement on what sexual assault is!
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I am appalled at these two men, but even more so at the Republican Party and their membership; especially so at the Senators of that party. They appear only to care about the potential damage to Kavanaugh’s career. They care not at all for the damage he may have done to an entire lifetime for the women he is alleged to have assaulted. I imagine Cosby is wishing he had pursued a career in Republican politics—he’d have received off-camera pats on the back, and total on-camera solidarity and steely resolve to protect him.
There is a country song getting a lot of air time recently that totally applies in these two cases: “Take a Drunk Girl Home” by Chris Janson. The refrain explains decent behavior, what’s at stake (her life, his manhood) and points out the difference between a man’s vs a boy’s behavior. Check it out here: https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/chrisjanson/drunkgirl.html
I am a child of the idealistic 60s, and I am sad for the decline of our national ethos.
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I am embarrassed to be a man, and Ivy League alum, a couple of decades before Kavanaugh. I would,like to think that I was never so sexually aggressive, or so blind drunk, as Kavanaugh is alleged to have been. Still, I participated in, and benefitted from, the patriarchal culture of those times. For this I am sorry. As an adult, I have tried to educate myself, and my students, about gender.
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I was a victim of attempted rape at 17. It was the first time I got a little drunk and a guy my age took advantage of it. Luckily some people living in the same dorm were worried about me and caught him on the spot. I probably felt guilty that I drank for the first time and didn’t tell anyone else.
With the news cycle and #MeToo I am realizing probably most women have gone through something similar. I‘m so happy this horror show is finally being discussed in society. Maybe it will bring an end to this behavior that has obviously existed since the beginning of times. I hope men start rethinking they’re behavior. Enough is enough.
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Cosby and Kavanaugh aged in opposite directions . Kavanaugh seems to have gained respect with maturity . Cosby has used his wealth and fame to directly increase his abuse and drugging of women to incapacitate and rape them
Robert Hunt, MD psychiatrst, Nashville,TN
@Robert Hunt, MD psychiatrst
Kavanaugh may have gained respect with maturity. That does not mean that Kavanaugh has not sexually assaulted women
as an adult. This is something that you, as a psychiatrist, should know.
I was sexually assaulted in the Fifth Avenue office of a highly respected physician who was the Chief of a Department at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan. I was 26. The doctor was in his fifties . That was 32 years ago. It's highly unlikely that I was the only victim of a doctor who was alone in an exam room with thousands of women over the course of many decades.
He was a gastroenterologist. I shudder to think of what he may have done to me while I was sedated while undergoing procedures. I have a friend who awakened prematurely from anesthesia, to discover that her dentist was molesting her.
My gyn doctor believed that my assailant had to have been a serial rapist. I told no one other than several doctors, and my uncle, an attorney who advised me to tell no one else, including my own mother.
Please be mindful that your patients may read your comments,
and could be affected, adversely, particularly those patients who have been sexually assaulted, some of whom may not have had the courage to tell you.
When I was eighteen, I had my nose badly broken by three drunk men while staying in a youth hostel in Germany. Two of them held me down while the third hit my face until I started bleeding so badly that they fled.
When I was sixteen and seventeen, I was repeatedly raped by a teacher, a man thirty years my senior and in a position of entrusted adult and guide.
The emotional trauma of the former incident? Negligible. I immediately reported it to the police, pressed charges, and talked freely about it afterward. The latter? Forty years of shame, silence, and a corrosive lack of self worth, until I finally acknowledged the damage he caused me and confronted him face to face. For both traumas, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people, but sexual abuse is uniquely and persistently damning in the shame it creates for the victims.
I don't want to preemptively condemn Kavanaugh: I want a full investigation to validate my certainty of Dr Ford's veracity.
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I am so angry. These women deserve to be heard. I believe them 100%. I was attacked in the hallway in middle school. A boy came up and grabbed me by the crotch and then tried to force himself on me. It took every ounce of strength I had to fight him off. He was much bigger than me. When I went to the school office to tell them what happened, they just brushed it off saying "Oh that student is always getting into trouble." They offered me absolutely no support. This is why women don't come forward.
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I was molested by an uncle when I was 4 or 5. I am now almost 30. I have never spoken about it with anyone. It’s only in the last few years that I have started to accept that the memories that started to come up in high school were valid and real events. This week has been really hard, hearing how people just dismiss women making claims if there is any gap in their memory or if they didn’t report right away. It makes me more scared to ever share my story.
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I don't understand those who write/say Judge Kavanaugh is being accused/convicted with "no evidence." There is evidence. The most important evidence, of course, is the testimony of the women he assaulted. There is actually quite a bit more evidence, too. And I don't understand those who allege he has been convicted by the media. I have not seen or heard media saying he is guilty, but I have read and heard media saying the FBI should investigate the accusations. The Administration and the Republicans, however, have resisted calls for the FBI to investigate ("That's not what they do," said the President; really?) and seem determined to vote to confirm Kavanaugh's appointment to the Supreme Court without regard to the testimony and other evidence.
2
It's transparent. After ignoring Obama's Supreme Court nomination, the Republicans are trying to finish in bad faith what they started in bad faith. In their own words, they're going to get this done. The leadership is not interested in due diligence. Providing documents and engaging in discussion can only lead to bothersome questions. It's hard to avoid the appearance of impropriety when impropriety is the order of the day. If they are caught between a rock and a hard place, it's because they installed the rock, and they invented the hard place.
3
My mother was abused by my father. A devout Catholic, she tried everything - consulting with friends, priests, and marriage counselors - because she saw the possibility that my father's misogyny could be managed. She did not want a divorce. But as her only daughter grew to school age, and the sons who loved her grew into teens, she felt she ran the risk of my father's hatefulness affecting my and my siblings' lives.
When I won my first professional position as programmer, I did so despite experiencing sexual harassment from my hiring manager. While grateful to her for hiring me, I did not know that I was one in a long series of men and women who had been harassed by her. The harassment was not always sexual, but it always involved the question of her continued support so long as I was her friend, or ignored her flirting, touching, or unwanted closeness or personal confidences.
This continued for a year, while my wife and I prepared for a baby. i never told her.
When the manager suffered the sudden loss of her brother, two coworkers, who happened to be women (two professional, mature women I admired), came to me begging that I go to the brother's funeral. I realized I could have, but the implications of my coworkers' request held too many consequences.
I decided not to go. The reprisals were devastating, and despite going through proper channels, I had to quit (just like the others who had previously been harassed by this person).
I quit IT and became a counselor.
1
I have mixed feelings about Bill Cosby’s sentencing. On the one hand, he shouldn’t be able to get away with no punishment. On the other hand, he is 81 years old, and as long as we can be assured that he won’t have the opportunity to commit further crimes, I think perhaps he has already paid a great enough price.
I guess in the end, I’d want him to be treated the same as anyone else who doesn’t have as high a profile- so whatever that is, and I guess it depends on the judge.
As for Brett Kavanaugh, were I in his position I’d insist on an FBI investigation to clear my name. I know the Republicans would demand one if he were a Democratic nominee... that is, if they even deigned to hold a hearing.
1
The scared and vicious old men leading the GOP actually think they can bring in a RINGER -- oh look, we found a WOMAN in our midst -- and no one will notice that they are sitting there with their ears and brains and hearts and mouths shut???
And what kind of respectable "expert prosecutor" lets herself be identified as an ASSISTANT and hidden away until it's time for her to follow her script?????
Hey boys -- how dumb do you think we are??
Even when you close your eyes we can still SEE YOU sitting there -- all men, all white, all biased and all desperate to keep Trump happy.
14
If Brett Kavanaugh were a black man, would he be getting the support of the Good Ol' Boys club? I seriously doubt it.
13
I'm sorry, but a 17 year old knows right from wrong. Being drunk & making a pass at a girl is different than covering her mouth & trying to undress her. Either you have it in you or you don't to do this. I would feel better about the Judge if he had admitted it & acknowledged how awful it was. Maybe then we could forgive it.
Margaret Terrell Green Valley, AZ
10
Trumpers are torn about this: they like seeing a black man in jail but dont think sexual assault is an offense.
7
Speak for yourself. Color makes no difference to most of us “conservatives “. I was born in ‘42, grew up expecting advances and knowing what kind of behavior and what circumstances would lead to them and either avoided them or accepted the the risk. I had two experiences of sexual assault during my teens, it never occurred to me to report them. The “times” were different. My sense of being responsible for my behavior led to avoiding “potentially risky situations “. That philosophy could go a long way today in avoiding risky situations. Sure it’s different today as it will be another 50 years from today. Would anybody even care if Kavanagh were not in the middle of a political war for power?
report all assaults
3
This isn't about fair/unfair, conservative/liberal! Kavanaugh LIED! Do we want or need a liar on the supreme court? Saying goodbye to our republic as we watch. As Franklin said, "you have a republic, if you can keep it. Looks like we can't
11
He lied?? It’s yet to be proved. How quick we are to assume as truth what we want to be true simply to support our bias.
It has been far too long that men have gotten away with sexual harressment and rape. As a 15yr old, I was taken advantage of by a man 10 yrs my senior. As a 20 yr old it happened again, twice.
12
Sixteen years ago, two former member of Catholic religious orders told me I was naive to the point of downright stupidity for not seeing the abuse crisis as just the beginning. I am ashamed of being Catholic. And with all the recent events also as a human.
5
My hope is that there cannot be another Bill Cosby lurking unapprehended, unconfronted going forward, no more Harvey Weinsteins and no more casting couch. (I am sure that generic situation is not over however. The lure of fame and possible fortune tempts many women away from their moral comfort zones. Loved the NYT story about "the kiss.") I was attacked while I slept by an anonymous person wearing a mask and gloves when I was 22. So yes, I am #metoo. There were other times I came close and fought off an attacker, sometimes it was my then husband. I have only been married once as a consequence. So yes, these experiences do have lasting effects, are burned into our memories whereas other memories can be fleeting.
7
The only result that will convince me that change has really taken hold is when professional sports teams void the bloated contracts of all the abusive men who play games for a living. Start with the Ben Roethlisberger and Jameis Winston and keep on going......
5
First of all, about Bill Cosby, what about Hugh Hefner? Hugh was the enabler, doing his own questionable deeds. Bill did them in Hugh's house, with full knowledge and consent. They both should've gone down, except, Bill was black and was caught by the long arm of the law and Hugh knew many judges, lawyers, and police chiefs, some of whom could've been active participants at Hugh's establishment. White privilege. Patriarchal superiority protecting a culture of rape.And then there's blame the victim. Male contempt for the truth and evidence. How much has anything changed? The lack of any moral compass is shown by the male representatives on the Senate Judicial Committee in their disdain for the search for truth. Why the rush? Why act like this is the last train out of town? It appears they need Kavanaugh to rubber stamp some questionable deeds. They are tone deaf to reason and procedure. Perhaps they'll hear the call of the voting machine. At some point the voice of the American people will arise over their cauldron of hate and contempt. Abraham Lincoln said, "you can fool some of the people all the time; you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."
5
@Redbird
Back when Hefner was still alive, was Cosby charged with any crime? How can you claim white privilege when Cosby played the crazy-rich-TVDAD -entertainer-you-don't-have-a-prayer-in-court card -- and that worked until he came up with the old and blind act -- which almost succeeded. He conned everyone for over 50 years.
This is a miscarriage of justice and I hope the Judge is disbarred for his corruption in this case. Yes, please convict people who are guilty of sexual abuse. In this case, the consent was mutual. Andrea Constand and others couldn't get money from the civil courts on their first go around with the case. Now they will take this illicit conviction to civil court and try to get money from the Cosby FAMILY on this next round. These people are not fair representations of the #MeToo movement. They have ulterior motives and are frauds out for money. Our system of law needs to protect all citizens from this kind of social lynching. God Bless the Cosby family through this time. Truth will prevail.
A Stanford University study has shown that the rate of false reports of sexual assault is 2% - the same rate as other felonies. Of course women are angry. Read the #WhyIDidntReport thread on Twitter. Even women who did report were told their case was going nowhere, or they should drop it, or they were a liar, or they put themselves in that situation.
America is bending over backwards to help the victims of Catholic Priest sexual assault, reported decades after it happened. Why aren't our mothers, sisters, and daughters afforded the same care?
19
@Chrisa Hickey You may want to check your numbers on that one. The rate of false reporting of sexual assault is approximately .02% - which means 2 of 1000 accusers lie. That means that approximately 998 of 1000 are telling the truth. Please correct me if I'm wrong and give me your source, if you don't mind.
Moreover, the numbers only reflect reported rapes. An estimated 90% of sexual assaults go unreported. Of those that are reported, only half are prosecuted and only 3% are convicted. The average prison sentence for a convicted rapist is less than 5 years. Thus, of the 1000 reported rapes, 30 offenders will be offered probation or a prison term that results in their freedom, with good behavior, in approximately 3 years. I am not saying boys and men are not raped. And I am not diminishing their pain. However, far more females are victims of sexual crimes. It is a pandemic. If old white men were attacked as often as females, something would have been done to combat this crime with less abysmal results.
@TeeElleEm Actually, I need to correct myself. The number should have been .002 or .2% which correctly adds up to the 2 of 1000 accusers.
It’s a desperate attempt by democrats to upheave this candidate. Even if what he did were minutely true does that mean at 50+ he cannot be a judge.these girls were at the proposed party? They were probably more drunk and envisioned what was going on. They cannot even definitely say IT was him they were so gone.
And what about that Kavanaugh mother as judge, judged against this woman’s parents in a foreclausure case. Does anyone know about that???!?
@Sonja weltz Next, of course the democrats are trying to oppose Kav but that doesn't mean what these women are saying isn't true. Instead of rushing the process, a full investigation is needed ... that is unless you just don't mind having an attempted rapist on the supreme court. Fyi, the law does not recognize a difference between an attempted crime and a completed crime. In the eyes of the law they are one and the same and punished identically. We don't reward criminals for being so incompetent that they are unable to complete their crime.
Last, you failed to mention is that the republicans are trying to "ram" this confirmation through without regard to the damage it does to women and women's rights. Of course the republicans want this confirmation while they have control of congress. The mid terms may change the balance of power. However, confirming an attempted rapist as a supreme court justice is NOT worth the damage it does to the court or to women.
The answer is an investigation then a full and fair hearing. The Republicans have proven they are in no hurry to confirm even if it leaves vacancies on the court ... anybody remember Merrick Garland? One man's promotion is not worth the incalculable damage being done to women.
I am a white straight male. As a Yale law student, as an Ivy League college student and as a father in an affluent suburb, I saw far too many frat bro's like Kavanaugh acting like pigs in ways I cannot believe they would ever allow their mothers, sisters or girlfriends be treated.
As a former Philadelphian, I am terribly sorry to learn that Cosby was a serial rapist, but think he should be imprisoned despite his many good deeds.
As a lawyer, I am appalled once again by how women accusers can be vilified while a defendant can simply watch and enjoy it, without risk of similar treatment as long as he does not take the stand.
As a human being, I am sickened by Camille Cosby's defaming the victims, prosecutor and judge without having to answer what she knew about her husband's behavior and how she may have enabled it to continue her life of luxury.
21
I do NOT understand why we are bickering over another male appointee to the Supreme Court. We should have only female candidates until there is a population-equivalent balance in the high courts - all of the categories - gender, race, and religion. Politics should not play a part in what should be a non-partisan check and balance of a democracy.
Aside from that question, an apparent disdain for the sovereignty of individuals - especially females - should immediately disqualify a candidate. I would imagine in the papers we have not seen - those withheld from the committee - we would see rulings that tilted toward the male over female protections. In addition, from personal experience, NOT ALL MEN are like this. But the ones who commit these acts, which includes strangers - masturbating in front of me, abrupt and physical groping, rape, stalking, threats of violence experienced too many times in my long life (starting with a pedophile abduction at age 5) - I know this one thing - THOSE men see nothing wrong with what they do, so they do not attempt to change behavior. They feel they are above moral and societal laws. Why not report? I was always advised against it. My experiences are all too common. Believe the women.
10
I know women who, astonishingly, would be willing to give Judge Kavanaugh a "pass," -- if only he had truthfully acknowledged what happened in high school. But nobody I know wants a liar on the Supreme Court of the United States. Nobody. Except perhaps one person....
13
Yes. What this old man did was wrong. I haven't heard anything about these women being brutalized. For God's sake, he is old. He didn't murder anyone. And now he will die behind bars. I think this is a bit extreme.
3
@Sharon Whittemore
But he was quite active for the 50+ years he was assaulting women while they were rendered unconscious for his SICK pleasure. Since when is justice too late to be served because the criminal became old??
The sadness of sexual abuse by such admired public figures is not only the sexually abused victims but our society's loss of faith in our paternal role models.
It is "The People versus John Doe"
Last time he was acting like he was blind now look at him I never liked him he's not funny .
2
I was sexually assaulted in high school, more than 40 years ago. I remember vividly the young man´s face and name, and most of the circumstances of the attack. Mr. Kavanaugh´s absolute denial of the charges are simply not credible. Dr. Blasey-Ford´s accusation is completely credible, even if it lacks the details needed to convict a criminal. She has no ulterior incentive to have come forward with these allegations, other than a desire to expose a piece of truth about a man who could occupy an extraordinarily powerful position in our country for the foreseeable future. Her credibility indicates that Judge Kavanaugh is lying about not having assaulted her, which ought to make him ineligible for a seat on the supreme court. It is plausible that he remembers the incident differently, but he should have said that, and apologize for having done something stupid as a kid, rather than to deny it. Rather, he seems to have been advised to take a strategy of "deny everything" -- a strategy which goes against a lot of public information that we already know about him.
8
I find the two women accusing Kavanaugh credible. The senate refused to listen to Anita Hill and here we are again. The republicans just want to continue as mindless sheep doing trump's bidding regardless of how their constituents feel.
I feel this is a smoking gun. Generally this deviant type of behavior doesn't go away. People just bury it. No one with a question such as this about their character should be allowed to sit on the supreme court of this country.
9
I am really sick and tired of these men. Cosby’s sentence will not affect men who abuse women. They all think they are above consequences, and many are. And kavanaugh will join Tomas on the court. And Trump will continue to lie and abuse wonen. They will get away with it. And the republicans will continue to support trump and kavanaugh and others like them. It’s all about getting and keeping power.
8
I believe the women. My wife was raped at a party when by a boy from a catholic school. She was only 15 years old. The police did not believe her.
Mr Kavanaugh is lying. There is plenty of evidence that he was a party boy who believes that girls and women are fair game.
11
Finally. But too light a sentence for the lifetime of hurt he has caused too many women.
7
The news is full of Cosby and Kavanaugh, one convicted of sexual assault, the other accused of it, and all the old, submerged feelings of violation, frustration, shame, anger, and helplessness come surging up again.
The crime Cosby was convicted of was the drugging and rape of one woman, but there is a shadow gallery of so many other women he did this to, who must feel insulted by his limited sentence and trivial "fine." This was not enough punishment even for the damage he did to one woman.
Now we will have to watch while another woman must relive the pain she experienced when she was not much more than a child.
If Kavanaugh is guilty of the kind of behavior he has been accused of, there are other women out there who were assaulted and who may come forward despite the embarrassment and pain it will cause them to retell their stories.
There is nothing that can be done now to change the past, but a reckoning might help to put our feelings to rest.
The Republicans mean to vote on Kavanaugh's confirmation on Friday, in a rush to have him confirmed before things get even messier.
5
In the 1960s and 70s, even before feminism, I participated in a lot of drunken frat parties as a woman. I only had one experience where I felt truly threatened and manhandled, which remained in my mind as a trauma ever since. It is NOT normal drunken teenage boy behavior. Kavanaugh should at least admit that he drank a lot in high school and he may have had a blackout where he didn't remember what he did. His absolute denial may be his worst action since it effectively paints his accusers as liars. I don't want a dishonest Supreme Court Justice.
14
Please don't lump together a convicted rapist accused of many rapes using drugs to incapacitate the victims with the accusation against Kavanaugh. These acts are not remotely similar.
1
I frankly am still having trouble comprehending a world in my lifetime where male predatory behavior is not tolerated.
4
The Bill Cosby case and the issue of Brett Kavanaugh are VERY different so I'm not sure it's right to put them together even though they are close in time. I think what is really important in all of these cases of women being assaulted by men is making very clear distinctions and determinations of differences and not grouping them all together, because then punishments don't always fit the crime. Nor does it help young men and boys understand what kinds of behaviors are really not right.
What Cosby and Weinstein have done (as well as all the priests that abused young boys) is consciously and intently abused their victims when they were adults that had power over these individuals. It's horrific. What Kavanaugh may have done was stupid and horrible -- and I don't think he deserves the appointment of a Supreme Court justice. But maybe not because of what he did -- if that in fact is/was true -- but because of his inability to tell a credible story about his high school years. Although I didn't watch the entire FOX interview, I watched enough of it to give me a sense that this man does not have much integrity --- given what other evidence there is about his high school years and what others have said about his drinking habits. I just don't believe him that he didn't do it, because his characterization of his younger self just doesn't jibe with the rest of the information out there about him that he has either written himself or that roommates/friends have conveyed.
7
I am grateful women are coming forward and sharing their stories, hopeful my teenage daughter may benefit from the shift in cultural awareness. It is difficult to read the numerous personal accounts, an overwhelming avalanche of disturbing images and information.
Our integrity as a human race is at stake. We must do better. Holding people accountable for their actions is crucial. This is a start.
Survivors keep silent until the pain of holding the truth inside becomes more than the pain of telling someone. When the secret of what happened becomes less than the guilt and shame of knowing it will happen to others unless you do something to stop it. Each one must decide for themselves.
It takes a strong person to move forward in the face of disbelief. You cannot know how your story will be heard. Many blame the victim. Justify anything to avoid knowing the truth. No one is less sympathetic than someone who had it happen to them and no one cared. Your story is yours, their reaction is theirs. The pain grows as those you love come to the realization it happened and no one could stop it.
I look around me at the women and think how many have been raped. How many of them were assaulted? How many like me? A quarter? A third? Maybe almost half? Then I realize it means one out of every four men I meet is a rapist. One out of three of the men I know. Maybe half of the men in the grocery store.
One is too many. Provide consequences. Take a stand. It is time.
6
This is incredibly sad for all concerned. Anything Cosby could have said at this point would have been hypocritical and I suspect he knew that. The best that can come from this is a realization that such behavior must cease.
2
The Cosby verdict and sentencing is putting the just and justice. Kavanaugh does not belong on the supreme court as he is not an honest individual and has no respect for women.
2
Kavanaugh isn't fooling anybody who doesn't want to be fooled. Cosby made a career out of conning people, posing as a moralist and an educator and the genial dispenser of feel-good humor and commonsense wisdom. He weaved himself into the consciousness of millions, and, apart from the appalling damage he caused the people he directly victimized, he has damaged the culture at large, rendering many even more cynical in a time when it's getting harder to find prominent people without clay feet.
3
It doesn’t matter how long ago or how old you are, if we don’t start teaching boys their actions when they are 17 matter, they’ll never learn. As someone in college I want physical proof that there are punishments for men who act the way that Cosby and Kavanaugh did.
5
The #MeToo movement and this week's news about Bill Cosby and Judge Kavanaugh have made me come to terms with what happened to me in high school and college. I never "reported" these incidents because I was embarrassed, ashamed, and blaming myself. They were real. They were assault -- yes, WITHOUT penetration. They have had lasting effects on my life. For selfish reasons, I am glad this is coming out. I hope it helps others heal as well.
2
Perhaps what Kavanaugh did was so unimportant to him that he didn't consider it worth remembering.
7
@Kate Baptista Or, perhaps the reason he can't remember is because he did it so often, there's no way to keep track of the details...like who they all were. Here's another thought. Dr. Ford's was an attempted rape. She was lucky that she was able to escape. How many others couldn't get away and ended up being raped?
1
I was sexually abused as a 10 year old by my stepfather. When I did speak out, I was in my mid-twenties. I told my mom who was at the time separated from my stepfather.
She listened but proceeded to try to work the relationship out with him. I talked to him once. He told me I seemed to be the one with the problem, maybe I needed counseling. He also retaliated in numerous ways. The events shattered our family.
At age 60, I am okay. I knew he was a predator even at age 10.
But to see Kavanaugh in the process of being named to the highest court, sets off a collective mourning I believe all victims feel. The same feeling as when Trump was elected with all the allegations against him.
Women must see change.
8
I feel that it is absolutely ludicrous to compare Bill Cosby to Judge Kavanaugh. Mr. Cosby was a sexual predator, who is getting what he deserved. He was tried and convicted by a jury which heard the evidence against him. Judge Kavanaugh has had an exemplary reputation for the entirety of his adult life. As a 78 year old male who grew up in the 50s and early 60s, I wish I had not done some of the things I did as a teenager. None involved sexual assault or anything close to it. But in those days prior to the HIV scare, there were many parties where very young men and women had too much to drink and hormones led to acts that today all of us — as adult men and women — would regret. I feel that what is occurring today is just another manifestation of the complete breakdown of civility in our political system. I believe Judge Garland should have been given a hearing when he was nominated by President Obama, but two wrongs do not make a right.
1
As a parent of three adolescent boys, I am hopeful that Brett Kavanaugh doesn’t wind up in our Supreme Court. I don’t care that his abhorrent behavior happened thirty plus years ago. High schoolers (and college kids, since his bad behavior apparently continued) know right from wrong, and intimidating anyone is a sign of one’s true character. If his past actions are ignored, and he is confirmed, the next generation will witness white male privilege trumping poor behavior yet again. If Kavanaugh were female or a minority, would people be willing to overlook such past offenses? I don’t think so. We are in the midst of a season of reckoning. Time’s up.
3
The idea that Kavanaugh can call these accusations a smear is insulting enough on its own. Attacks such as these stay with women our entire lives - we’d be grateful if they felt as insignificant as a smudge. And to be clear, to those saying “why ruin a man’s shot at this job for something so small, something so irrelevant to his position today” - why not? It happens for everyone else. Little things have the ability to take everyone down, it’s just that powerful white men aren’t used to it. No one is bullet proof despite what they’re born into believing.
6
I was raped by a former boyfriend my junior year of college. I didn’t tell anyone because he was from a prominent, wealthy family and I was an ethnic girl at school on scholarship. I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I had just become a resident assistant in a freshman dorm and was worried while it was happening that if I screamed for help I might frighten one of the residents (and prove my incompetence). When it was over, as 4 months had passed since split up, he said, “NOW, we are done.” and left. That was 32 years ago. I am well married, have had some good, professional success, and have a daughter in middle school. I thank my stars for her strong spirit, foster her independence, and marvel at her confidence.
6
This is a job interview, for a promotion. Kavanaugh's responses to everything that occurs during that interview process are indicative of his suitability for that promotion. If I were to be on the committee interviewing him for this leadership position, I would disqualify him based solely on his response to this situation. The role calls for someone committed to justice and fairness and who, presumably, should have significant compassion for others since he or she will have ultimate authority over individual freedoms, up to and including upholding death sentences. He did not call for a thorough investigation. He did not ask that the process be slowed down so that further research could be completed and evidence gathered. He did not demonstrate even an ounce of compassion for a potential victim; all of the proceedings should be expected of a legal leader. Troublingly, he has demonstrated no awareness of the importance of the public providing the judiciary a "license to operate". If the American people lose faith in the judicial branch, we can rapidly descend into civil war. Any organization will tell you that if you hire a leader who is loved by the board but loathed by the staff, mutiny eventually ensues. Yet he has demonstrated no concern for that possibility. It seems to me that Kavanaugh is a perfect example of the Peter Principle: He has risen to the level of his incompetence. He is unsuited for this role based on that analysis alone.
4
Thank you for articulating exactly what I think concerning Kavanagh’s unfitness to serve on the Supreme Court. As a survivor, I am nearly incapacitated by rage to the point where clear thinking is often impeded. I found myself nodding in agreement with your assessment and reasoning, which helped me realize my intellect is still functioning somewhere deep beneath layers of traumatic detritus.
As a trainer in a chic, trendy health club in the 1980’s I was teaching a class. I was on a platform in front of about 100 people taking my very popular aerobics class. Bill Cosby was running on the track above that overlooked the class. The music was blaring. As I was demonstrating a particular stretch, A booming sound from above was heard. It was So loud as to drown out the blasting music. It was Bill Cosby vey audibly making comments about my body in a particular position. I was honestly so disturbed by the loud grunt and what felt like such a blatant and crash comment. I was so embarrassed in front of the class, I kept going and tried not the give it any attention. He persisted. When class was over I tried to sneak out. I saw that he was waiting to me meet me at the desk near the elevator. Something told me that this kind of explosive audible commenting was not normal. At this point he was at the top of his popularity in the Cosby Show. I made sure I never went anywhere near him. It was a gut instinct. I was 23 years old. I never told the story and I never wanted to make anyone who did pursue friendships or opportunities for acting work with him, feel as though their instincts were off. In essence, I would never want to make a victim feel responsible. I had previously been sexually assaulted and suffered from years of debilitating ptsd. I’m sure that helped me to protect myself from what might have been further abuse. I don’t know. But I do know justice was served.
3
I have raised four beautiful, intelligent, strong, independent daughters capable of defending not only themselves but others who may be subjected to unwanted advances or abuse. Had they been boys I would have raised them to be the gentlemen my parents expected of me. I do not believe in or support the notion that “boys will be boys.” Boys will be the product of their parents expectations, discipline and their own aspirations and values.
We have the right to expect that our leaders, politicians, role models, and jurists should represent the best among us. Sadly Brett Kavanaugh, for many reasons falls short of this mark. Bill Cosby never approach it and now will pay the price.
5
I've been raped twice by men that I knew. I've endured countless catcalls and comments as I walked down the street since I was 12, not to mention all the butt gropes in social situations. I've lost count of the male sex exposers on the NY subway between Manhattan and Brooklyn, so that I wore sunglasses even in winter. Some of them even sat beside me in a crowded train, using a newspaper for cover. Who ever wanted to listen? Or care if I had shouted out?
2
The overwhelming fact is that women suffer huge injustices when they are not considered believable by men and the largely male hierarchies in our society.
There was a long dry spell between Anita Hill's testimony and the last two years of #MeToo, Trump's aggression towards women and the new Dr. Ford & Mr. Kavanaugh revelations.
Men in general and much of the GOP are culpability for continuing to allow an environment of sexism -- that includes violence! Shame is not sufficient -- there needs to be a continuation of significant consequences or the sexism and violence will never let up.
5
I have first ha d experience with sexual abuse, having been abused by my father as a young girl. It took a lot of internal work to both discover it and come to terms with the fact that the person I loved the most had done this. I can't imagine making such a claim lightly. It is so frustrating to see this scenario play out with yet another Supreme Court nominee and hear the same old rhetoric of disbelief. I will vote for DEMOCRATIC WOMEN moving forward because the only solution is to have our government truly represent the population which is made up of more women than men. It's time we (women) take back our voting power and vote this old guard out of office. It's time for our government to truly represent us.
4
Cosby goes with little discussion; what’s happened has happened and due justice was received. As for kavanaugh, my issue is how frequently members of our government that are either appointed by or a part of the Republican Party are being accused of being sexual offenders, having taking advantage of others some ten odd years back. I’m not saying that these victims should be discredited, however there’s a bad apple in every bunch and I question the credibility, or at least this mob mentality of “guilty until proven innocent”. If it’s true, I’d like to see sustainable evidence of it and until then, I’d consider kavanaugh an innocent man and fit to do his duty.
2
@Michael K Dwyer
So you cannot see that he lied under oath?
Cosby had 2 trials and was convicted on evidence and believable testimony. Kavanaugh has been convicted by the press, on-the-left judicial activists, and pilloried by women who have been attacked. As if he were already guilty.
A big difference in the approach.
I have written to my men Sen Hatch, Sen Grassley, and Sen. Graham asking them to stand up ramrod straight against turning no evidence accusations into a mock conviction.
1
The culture of violence against women and children is thousands of years old. It is time to put a stop to this. It will be hard. It will be painful. It will take generations. It will be worth it when the work is done and humans are finally born and bred to offer respect and civility to all members of society as a matter of course.
4
In spite of what he did in high school and college, when have I read or heard that Judge Kavanaugh has, as an adult, done despicable things? I served in public office for 20 years. I'd not have stood a chance had 'they checked me out' prior to my service. Many if not most of us do grow up. We put old behaviors aside. The potential shame that ensued some of our less than sterling adolescent behavior was instructive. We married, created family, held responsible positions, became active in our communities and churches. Yes, we may have said "What happens in......stays in....because some tapes of our revelry need not be billboards to our former selves.
Now, if Judge Kavanaugh's professional performance and record need to be sifted, sliced, diced, and pureed, then have at it. That's the stuff upon which the Senate should decide if he is worthy for being seating on the highest court in our Land.
3
@Kiwi Kid "Less than sterling adolescent behavior." Is that what they're calling attempted rape these days?
1
@Galway I don't know. Do you? Let me ask you something: Why did Ms. Ford go to that party? What was her expectation of participant behavior, her own included? If she didn't know alcohol was available and subsequently found out alcohol was at the party, why didn't she leave? Or, was that at a time in her life that she didn't know what happens to people who drink? Did she drink alcohol herself, that night? What was her state of inebriation that night? The point I am trying to make is: Where do we stop? How far down do we drill with any of us to find a person who is qualified, by a growing number of objective and/or subjective standards. Would it have mattered any less if Kavanaugh was 15 when the alleged assault occurred? What is the appropriate age that we start making judgments about people that can or will never change? It seems that we are continually wanting to re-write historical records by the beliefs and mores of today. Black and white films need to be 'colorized,' if you get my meaning here. Finally, who is your choice to sit on the Supreme Court or any other court? Who will be your desired next mayor or council member? How much research will you personally do to determine their fitness for office, and if you do decide to research your candidate list, how far into their past will you drill down?
The entertainment business is somewhat different than the Justice department. Nevertheless, a moral standard and a tandem standard of ethics applies to both. The public trust is violated by unscrupulous dealings.
Further, no one should be on the highest court of the land who wants to be there for any reason other than to discover the truth.
If it were me I would be more interested in discovering the truth to any accusations of my possible illegal activities, than pushing for my nomination to be confirmed.
I don't want a Supreme Court Justice who wants to cover up anything. If it were me I would insist on investigating myself, myself.
Where do we find the seeds of integrity if not within ourselves?
2
@Terry : What is Truth?
Cosby's conviction and sentencing wouldn't even be discussed in the same breath as the Kavanaugh accusations if they weren't happening at the same moment. This comparison is odious because of the enormous difference in what one did and the other is accused of having done. Nevertheless, the pounding gong of historic change is growing louder despite the increasingly pathetic protestations of the old guys still in power. Perhaps the general understanding that such events cause permanent emotional scars however long ago they occurred will help to prevent a man with contempt for women (which characterizes all men bent on eliminating reproductive rights) from reaching the country's highest court. Even so, though, the infamous list of Federalist Society-approved candidates is long, and the next "pick" would be rushed through confirmation...just as we must not forget that removing the president, pleasant as that may sound, would only give us President Pence for up to a decade. It seems there is no "win-win." But every baby step counts, and Cosby's walk to prison today echoes loudly.
MR, New Jersey
1
@GreaterMetropolitanArea : Feminists should be aware that those who possess testosterone will allow feminism to go only so far as they will allow. The pendulum can swing the other way, you know! Better to fight for human rights! We are FIRST human beings, persons, and only incidentally male or female.
I’m looking for self-reflection and honesty - signatures of a mature person willing to “own” his failings and grow from them. Judge Kavanaugh might have said something to the effect of “I drank and caroused in high school, and there is much I’ve blanked out — but I am sickened at the described behavior and ask that my adult life be seen as the record of a person who grew with time and experience. The person I am now will hopefully bring intelligence, fidelity to the law, and humanity to the cases before me, which in many cases will involve people like me who aren’t perfect.” But that’s not who he is.
8
@JB
Right. He might have said something to redeem his character.
3
I'm just really tired of male privilege, of seeing women dragged through the mud when they accuse a man of assaulting them.
I had a similar experience to Dr Ford's and I was able to bury it in my past, but I'm still angry that I never could tell anyone about it because I would have been blamed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time (my best friend's bedroom, at 11:00 in the morning). I was surprised that Dr Ford felt so traumatized by her experience that she wanted to move to another hemisphere, and when I said so, I was attacked for it.
The long overdue conversation about the female experience in this culture needs to begin. I'll never forget when I shared a house with 5 other women in Texas several years ago. One evening after dinner, a conversation began where it was eventually revealed that all 6 of us had been raped or ssexually assaulted at least once in our lives. We need to recognize that there are a lot of us out there, not talking about it, just living with the bad memories.
8
Every person, high or low, has a right to be presumed innocent, until proven guilty based on objective evidence. The anti-Kavanaugh evidence here is heart-rending, but not anywhere near objectively conclusive beyond reasonable doubt. I hope Judge Kavanaugh, and supporters and opponents, might all learn from this trauma, remembering that guilt by inference has been a fact of life for Inner-City Americans, and other minorities, for decades. Everyone is innocent until proven otherwise.
3
Any trial lawyer will tell you that Dr Ford may remember a genuine horrific event from long ago, but misremember the perpetrator. In this event, who is the victim? Judge Kavanaugh, who has career and reputation tarnished, if not destroyed, or Dr. Ford, who bears the trauma of the original event, plus the unrecognized guilt of a false accusation. This is why the liberal democracies have independent courts, to separate fact from fancy, in a system that considers that which is bona fide evidence, and ignores that which is not. It's not about believing the accuser or the accused because our natural sympathies lie with them. It's about finding the truth, as best we can.
Judge Kavanaugh can resign or be impeached from his Supreme Court position if he is found later to have been lying during the confirmation hearings. Does Dr. Ford face the same penalties if she is found later to have been lying? I don't know.
I was going to make a similar point to the comment shown below. If a man of any age is unable to fully appreciate the chilling effects that prevent women from reporting sexual assault, they may be able to empathize with male victims of assault. That can lead to better understanding by all of this tragic human behavior that can ruin lives.
"This is not only a women’s issue. I am concerned that thus far I have not heard anyone on NPR or The Times make the connection with the abuse of young men by Catholic priests. It takes decades for these men to come forward just as it does women who have been abused. I think reminding people of this fact is important because it makes it more difficult to dismiss the brave victims who come forward whatever their gender."
— Kate Goodland, Brooklyn, N.Y.
4
From what I've read, it is EXTREMELY unlikely that Dr. Blasey Ford is mistaken about the fact that she was assaulted including the details of the assault itself. While it's possible, it is also unlikely that she's mistaken about the identity of the perpetrator. It is undeniable that young Brett Kavenaugh had a serious drinking problem. He has admitted as much in interviews on TV. He used the (erroneous) excuse that the drinking age was 18 at the time. That is not true. Maryland raised its drinking age to 21 in 1982. Kavenaugh was 17 when the assault happened. He was not legal. It's outrageous that McConnell and company are trying to ram this appointment through without an investigation.
6
Some people seem to think Kavanaugh is about to be "indicted" due to two or three women's accusations. They're horrified that mere women might bring a great man so low.
Surprise! The worst result would be that he loses his shot at a job.
The best result would be that America would be spared a Supreme Court justice Trump's hoping will make the charges against *him* go away.
6
Finally, "...the country is coming to terms with a culture of predatory sexual abuse by powerful men." which in my opinion stems from the same cancerous thread in our society in relation to the ARA, the shootings of African Americans, and the breakup of families and theft of their children. As a middle class white woman turning 70 today, I still suffer the ramifications of being married into a free mason family perpetrated through my grooming and battering from age17. My ex-husband with his mistress took my two boys ages 7 and 5 thirty seven years ago. My first born, Eric, commited suicide last year. There is no apology from Mr. Cosby, and the boys club of scorn and hatred as a rule points the finger at its victim never holding themselves accountable for the violent entrapment, assault, and battery they produce.
10
The bottom line is that time catches up with one's past mistaken and wrong deeds REGARDLESS of who you are or were! And in regards to Justice Kavanaugh, he is the WRONG man for the WRONG job at the WRONG time! Where were the "Bleeding Hearts" of the Republican RIGHT and the IGNORANT Mitch McConnell went they would not even give the time of day to the right candidate, Judge Merrick Garland back in 2016! Or for that matter look at their leader, the President, is more than likely guilty of the same offense among others!
1
why waste taxpayer money on a blind old man who has suffered enough for his crime. Let him do -10 years of community work at his own expense
5
Suffered enough? Not at all. Mr Cosby is finally being held accountable for his predatory behavior over the past 40 years. He has more than earned his punishment and no one is above the law.
5
jojo wrote "why waste taxpayer money on a blind old man?" Have you ever been assaulted, jojo? Assaults know no 'statue of limitation' for the victim. Some of the victims were assaulted many years ago and still feel the pain and humiliation. Why shouldn't the 'blind old man' face the consequences when he is *finally* brought to justice?
2
@jojo I seriously doubt that he has suffered enough for his crime. He was convicted of rape, and it is clear that he raped others. I doubt any embarrassment he feels comes even close to the suffering of his victims. We waste tons of taxpayer's dollars on incarcerating innocent people; I don't consider incarcerating Cosby a waste of money. If anything, the sentence was too lenient. He had a catastrophic impact on many lives and there is nothing that will pay for that.
2
In the old days, particularly in the south, if a man charged with rape could get five other men to testify they had sex with the complainant, the victim could be declared a prostitute. Case dismissed. An era which could perhaps be characterized as ‘Believe men.’ Overturning this insidious practise was one of the first victories of the modern womens’ movement.
To see the same standard of ‘evidence,’ i.e. quantity over quality, now being applied against men, is highly troubling. There is no doubt that fundamental miscarries of Justice will occur.
One may say, ‘well, that’s okay. It’s payback time.’ But what if your son or brother is falsely acccused.
Or are we to believe false accusations never occur?
One of the principals which separates our society from dictatorships is the holding of an accused innocent until proven guilty. Yet it is clear from the comments in this and other news outlets, that judge Kavanaugh is guilty, and - to the point - he becomes guiltier as two more - quite tenuous - allegations are aired. The only difference between Crosby’s first trial and second was quantity of witnesses.
From the time they grow a little hair on their upper lip these days, young boys are told they are mysoginistic rapists. The only time I was exposed to the glorification of rape was a short stint in the military. And the only time I was involved in a rape is when I was raped by an agressive older woman when I was in my early twenties.
5
I am hopeful and yet angry. I am a therapist who works with women and men sexually harassed and assaulted at work. What we are seeing is the tip of the iceberg. Most women do not speak about their abuse and harassment for fear of losing their job, some even of losing their lives or economic survival let alone ridicule in the public realm. I am so angry at men who support men that abuse women and children like the GOP and the president, this is horrific. The horrible fact is that Some men still believe women are property they can do anything with without consequences. I am glad that Women are speaking out. It is courageous but costly and we are not turning back!!
4
To quote Justice Jackson, "he is hard-pressed, but not ill used." A serial rapist must be punished, even if he is an old and broken man.
14
Republicans are trying to jam through Kavanaugh’s confirmation without the due process of the Cosby case. He was afforded his rights under the law, and the victim was 1) believed, 2) respected, and 3) her rights as the victim of a crime were protected. Republicans want to skip all that or dismiss them purely on Kavanaugh’s word. No. Due process MUST be served on all sides. There should be a proper FBI investigation regarding all women who have or may come forward, and a report released to the committee and the public. In the meantime, the confirmation vote MUST be put on hold. This is a lifetime appointment to our highest court, and it’s serious business. I want the US and its people to win, parties be damned. #MeToo is also serious business, and needs to be taken seriously and investigated. There are many reasons why women (and some men, too) don’t come forward immediately. Every time a case likes this happens at the national level, more victims come forward. Since the Kavanaugh case was made public, four of my Facebook friends, for the first time in their lives, identified themselves as victims of sexual abuse, assault, or rape. It was not easy for them to do. We have to decide, as a nation, that we will not tolerate sexual abuse of anyone by anyone. We have a long way to go. The Judiciary Committee has an opportunity to set the tone for a big step in that direction. Let’s hope that they live up to their duty and oaths of office.
14
@Mark Woodland
That Mr. Kavanaugh is a judge is verification of the deep seeded violence extanding far up to keep it embedded in our society for preying on the most vulnerable.
This is not only a women's issue. I am concerned that thus far I have not heard anyone on NPR or the Times make the connection with the abuse of young men by Catholic priests. It takes decades for these men to come forward just as it does women who have been abused. I think reminding people of this fact is important because it makes it more difficult to dismiss the brave victims who come forward whatever their gender.
20
@Kate Goodland
SUCH an important point!!!
According to Trump, ALL the men assaulted by priests are liars because who can remember that far back.
Good to know his point of view.
2
Everything that has come out this week has made me realize something - I was not necessarily wrong not to come out with what happened to me when I was 17.
I was sexually assaulted, & terrified. A cop had pulled up at the scene (we weren't supposed to be in a public park after sundown), and it scared the guy off of me. The cop saw nothing, rode home with my attacker because I was too scared to tell the police officer anything.
I cried for days. I didn't sleep for weeks. I didn't tell anyone what happened except for my best friend. I withdrew from my life for months. Eventually I started being able to hang out with my friends after dark without crying. I started living my life again.
Months later, I found the police officer that had pulled up, thanked him through tears, and explained what had happened. I knew the guy wanted to be a police officer, & I couldn't let that happen. I didn't press charges, but I made sure that he wouldn't ever be in law enforcement.
But, to this day, I suffer from PTSD & can't go outside alone at night- even just to take out the trash. I triple check the locks on my doors. I still have panic attacks before going on a date.
Should I have spoken up? Absolutely. Am I glad I didn't? Yes. If what has been happening in the media lately, women being harassed & called liars or worse, had happened to me when I was 17, I'm not sure what would have happened. But, I know I wouldn't be a college graduate with a good job. I'd still be a traumatized teenager.
18
The news regarding Kavanaugh makes me literally tremble. It’s been 36 years since I was beaten, raped and stalked. For the past week, my PTSD has been in overdrive. I am great full to have a supportive husband and great therapist.
25
Although I cheered and applauded when I saw Cosby in handcuffs, tears came to my eyes when I saw ten of his victims and heard just two of Cosby’s victims outside the Courthouse. I only hope that what these women have said about being victims is heard and absorbed by all our Senators today and remembered at the open Judiciary Committee hearing when they listen to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford on Thursday. But of course, the men will already have hardened their hearts and minds.
13
Those who are denying the possibility of sexual assault in the Kavanaugh situation strike me much like the segregationists from 50-60 years ago. They are fighting for their beliefs, for their way of life, for their superiority and sovereignty, and don't have any idea they are on the morally wrong side. Eventually history will condemn them.
35
I look forward to the day when we have a corrections system that doesnt rely nearly so much on prison. For anyone. But with Cosby, Kavanaugh, so many of these men, I find it impossible not to believe that extreme privilege, power, and celebrity in Cosby's case can easily lead to recklessness and a sense that women are yours to do as you please with, perks. I witnessed some of that recklessness in my own experience at an elite male prep school decades ago.
8
I don't hear anyone trying the "It happened a long time ago" defense with Mr. Cosby (as some are defending Brett Kavanaugh with).
26
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford has absolutely nothing to gain by raising this issue, except for death threats, harassment, feigned disbelief, skepticism, and public shaming. If she must endure all of this, and more, by bringing up an actual assault, why on earth would she fabricate such an incident? For the perverse, masochistic pleasure of having to be subjected to all of these and other indignities?
On the other hand, Brett Kavanaugh has absolutely everything to lose by admitting to such an occurrence, much less agreeing to an FBI investigation, corroborating witnesses and a truly free and fair hearing. Everyone should consider the relative motivations and stakes at play for Dr. Blasey Ford and Judge Kavanaugh when they listen to their respective testimonies this Thursday, and ask themselves the following questions: Why would Dr. Blasey Ford lie? Why would Judge Kavanaugh?
30
I am a student at an elite all-boys, Jesuit high school in Manhattan. I am the co-president of my school’s feminism club. What alarms me most is how little boys my age seem to be paying attention. Yesterday in English class, my teacher asked how many of us were following the allegations that had been brought against Kavanaugh. Only four boys raised their hands, myself included. Not only should this controversy be at the front of our minds because we are current high school students, but also because of the Jesuit education we are receiving, just like Brett Kavanaugh did. We are supposed to be “men for others,” so the parallels I see between this apparent apathy among my classmates, and Kavanaugh’s statement that “what happens at Georgetown Prep stays at Georgetown Prep” scares me. This is a toxic mentality, and cannot be allowed to be perpetuated through my classmates’ ignorance. On Thursday, my club is having a meeting where we will be discussing this exact topic. I pray that we have a good turnout and that it gets the conversation started at my school. Believe women. Accountability is real. This is the message I hope my classmates receive and take to heart.
57
@Matthew Chen Matthew, from a 43yo woman who has been a feminist since I was too young to know the word, who was in the first class in my college to major in Women's Studies, who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship, who lost my sister to domestic violence 10 years ago... Thank you. THANK YOU. You are the future, and you will make this world better. I know you are doing everything you can to educate your classmates, and I hope you remember, even if you only change ONE mind or get one young man to listen and alter his behavior, you've done great. You inspire me, and I hope my 10yo son is as empathetic and justice-oriented as you are when he is in high school.
1
Mr. Cosby goes to prison, while Kavanaugh will most likely join Clarence Thomas on the Supreme Court as another justice accused of sexual assault.
A twisted irony, proving once again that justice is not equal.
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@Merlin Cosby's offenses were far worse than what Kavanaugh is accused of, and they were repeated many times. The only unequal justice for Bill Cosby is he got away with dozens of rapes because he's rich and powerful.
7
It's unfair -- but typical in today's climate -- to lump Cosby and Kavanaugh together. The accusations against Cosby have been vetted for many years in the news, depositions, and civil suits. Now, after two trials, he stands convicted and sentenced. The #MeToo movement has unleashed such anxiety (often based on traumatic memories) in the public that every allegation is almost immediately believed. So The Times puts Kavanaugh, who has had little time to defend himself, in the same category as Cosby and asks for comments. You'll get what you're expecting to get, and it won't be fair to Kavanaugh.
6
@melhpine
@melhpine The difference is that we aren't prosecuting Brett Kavanaugh (at least just yet). He's being vetted for a LIFETIME appointment to the highest court in the nation.
21
@melhpine At some point, a first woman had to have had the courage to come forward and charge Bill Cosby with sexual assault. That woman, whoever she was, was in the same position Dr. Christine Blasey Ford finds herself today. Without her, Bill Cosby would likely never have been found guilty and convicted and sentenced today.
14
And that's part of the problem. Lifetime appointments to the Supreme Court are an anachronism. A seven to ten year term would be far more fitting in this day and age.
This is part of the USA democratic system which needs fixing asap. The ruling party, whichever it is, will not of course agree to such a change.
Brett Kavanaugh's nomination to the Supreme Court and the disastrous confirmation process so far is all happening on Trump's watch. Trump told us again and again, "I know the best people! I'll hire the best people!" and yet, whether it's a slipshod vetting process, his flawed intellect, or his low standards, this is another example of his unfitness to hold the office of president of the United States.
Because the bad news from Washington, D.C. crashes over us, wave after wave, it's hard to fathom the cumulative damaging effect it is having on all of us.
If there IS one bright spot in the midst of all of this mayhem, I hope that high school students are paying attention and can see that, yes, the cruel, heartless behavior you engage in now CAN come back to haunt you as an adult. So stop it before it starts.
I don't think the importance of that can be underestimated. I hope you at the NYTimes can interview high school students right now. I would love to hear their opinions on this.
12
The Cosby conviction is a small beacon of light in a week of near total darkness. Trump coldly dismissing Kavanaugh accusations in the midst of #whyididntreport brings back the same sick feeling that I had when he openly mocked the #MeToo movement in Montana. I'm so tired. I'm in my early twenties and I am already so tired of trying to explain the necessity of this movement to people who cannot or refuse to understand.
We are standing tall. We are listening to each other. We are saying "I believe you" even if nobody else does. And some days I really see change. Some days I feel like we are so loud. But other days I feel like Trump and his supporters are so much louder.
10
I don't care how old or ill Cosby is. He should serve more than 3 years. It's his fault that he was discovered so late. He used his money and prestige to avoid penalty for his crimes. I am disgusted by his actions and disgusted that I once admired such a predator. As for Kavanaugh, Trump and the Senate should be careful of the precedent being set. Trump and the Senate are declaring open season on teenage girls by teenage boys by ignoring what was probably an attempted rape by Kavanaugh. They are telling young girls they are meat and telling their attackers that as long as they are young, they will avoid every responsibility for their actions. The Senate's behavior is a transparent attempt to pack the court with candidates favorable to their party without regard for the collateral damage this attempt will bring. When your 15 year old daughter or granddaughter is molested by one of her peers, she reports, & she receives messages calling her a liar and a whore, Trump and the Senate will be partly to blame. Trump and this Senate has already damaged women in the national discourse.
31
@TeeElleEm Anyone who thinks three years in prison is a slap on the wrist doesnt know very much about prison.
3
Last week, I was a wreck, the PTSD set off by the accusations against Kavanaugh, flashbacks to my attacks in high school and college. Flashbacks to the Anita Hill hearing and how despicably the entire Senate Judiciary Committee treated Professor Hill.
Profound sadness, at the thought of the abuse Dr. Blasey Ford would suffer at the hands of some of those same men and disgust. Disgust that for all our talk of 'it getting better', it really hasn't for women.
Then the Rage came, and it's still here. I'm tired, of a lot of things, but mostly I'm tired of being treated as a second class citizen because I am the proud owner of a vagina. I'm done, I'm finished with being talked over and diminished, I'm finished with others (men) telling me how to behave. I have been for awhile, but now my rage is ready to breakthrough and it feels as if I am not the only one. It's time, it's past time and the sleeping giant is awake and we're not going to sit idly by and allow the likes of Chuck Grassley & Orrin Hatch & Donald Trump diminish Dr. Ford or Deborah Ramirez. Their stories need to be heard and they will be one way or another. Their stories are the stories of so many women and girls and if the patriarchy attempts to silence us again, we will rage and we will win.
I know we will win because today, an 81 year old man, was sentenced to prison for sexually assaulting a women. This man had this reputation for decades before another, male comic called him out. The arc of justice
25
@Deborah
Wonderful comment Deborah, an approach to be commended.
3
I think that Cosby deserves the punishment he got regardless of age, and it’s a good message to men that they are more likely than ever to be held accountable for their sexual crimes. At the same time it’s painfully ironic that someone like Cosby who was a beloved television icon can so easily get abandoned by society when Kavanaugh can so easily deny it and get stronger support because of it.
This Supreme Court battle is disgusting. It makes me feel sick to witness someone fight so hard for a position that should always carry honor and hold higher standards than average. How can Kavanaugh in good faith go on Fox News and make such an obvious attempt to portray himself like a harmless law nerd who didn’t lose their virginity until after college. I have never met any high school guy who was both a braggart, drunk jock and a harmless “nice guy” You learn in life that guys who do keg stands and brag about graduating from the all girls school are likely not the same ones who have always treated women with respect. What I don’t get is why he’s just outright denying it... We’ve seen your yearbook, we’ve heard about Bart, we know you’re not a “nice guy” but does that automatically make you a rapist? Denying it the way he’s doing it is just making him seem more suspicious than ever. I think Kavanaugh did it, and I hope more women will come out about him or his peers. It just feels like a potential SC Justice is lying to our faces, again.
15
As a gynecologist for 40 years, and the Medical Director of a sexual assault program in my city, I have worked with many women who have been victims of sexual assault. Many of these incidents go unreported as the victims deal privately with their trauma. I hope that the conviction and sentencing of Mr Cosby, as well as the courage and support of Ms Constand will encourage more victims to come forward and hold their perpetrators criminally liable. The #MeToo has accomplished major change for women today and in the future.
21
I am hoping Cosby’s conviction will stem (stop? Not yet) the sexual harassment and abuse women have been subjected to for years. Yet my hopes are dismal if a man like Kavanaugh is still fighting his accusers instead of resigning or being dismissed instantly. Does anyone under 40 care about an old man like Cosby? Do they relate at all? Older men still don’t get it. “What’s wrong w putting your arms around a woman’s shoulders or waist? Or telling her she has great legs?”
Anita Hill (courageous fabulous woman, Thomas belongs in jail) opened the door a crack, #me too opened it a bit further but we have a long journey ahead of us. I ask my daughter and son and daughter in law “how are you protecting your children (3 boys 8-12, 2 girls 4-13) from sexual abuse? What do you teach them?
Education is key. Starting at a young age we must teach our children to speak up, clue them into all signs such as “let’s have a secret”
If we have Weinstein convicted and in jail and Kavanaugh resigns or is dismissed then we will know we have accomplished something against sexual abuse.
14
For me, it has made me remember every attempted assault including the most terrifying when a young man in his 20s stalked me several times on the 5th floor of my apartment building as I came home from high school. The last time, I had nervously asked a friend to come home with me. Thank God I did because this time he had hidden himself behind the elevator door. Had I been alone there is no question that I would have been assaulted. Despite the fact that he was eventually arrested, I never felt safe in my apt. or in my building again. I learned to avoid any possibility of being in a vulnerable situation. I survived emotionally by limiting what I did and where I went. I felt Constand's victim statement clearly described what is taken from you. Even if you are physically ok (and she wasn't) you lose a certain sense of freedom, trust and confidence. To this day, 50 years later, getting in an elevator alone in an office building is a trigger that I have to will myself to get past. But I would not do it in an apartment building. Not in a heartbeat. And I have yet to speak with one friend who has not been the object of an attempted assault or a rape. That is the true tip of the iceberg.
11
I am glad men who participate in a culture, however actively or passively, are being held accountable. However, as I have seen in essays like John Hockenberry's "Exile" and Jian Ghomeshi's "Reflections of a Hashtag", these men who are facing accountability (particularly in the form of the dismantling of their careers, which they were lucky enough to have been able to build unlike so many women who were victimized by figures like Les Moonves and Harvey Weinstein) are not sorry because they feel bad for the women they've hurt; they're sorry for themselves. They weep about it in 7,000 word essays in which they compare themselves to Lolita - which truly is the limit - or lament only being able to exist as sexualized versions of themselves without even stopping to think about the fact that women have to deal with that relentlessly and from all sides for our entire lives. We've achieved much by way of accountability and consequences, but very little by way of empathy. There is much work to be done, and while I am not religious, the passage Galatians 6:9 stands out in my memory right now: "Let us not grow weary when doing good, for in due time we shall reap so long as we do not lose heart."
7
If this was just about getting Justice for what he did then none of the women should accept any money whatsoever cause everybody thinks this is just about money if it happened and as a woman I don't understand why they waited so long to speak up. But again this is just my opinion. I value myself and no career is worth giving up that value. And if you do I feel you have no right to wait this long to bring it up.
2
@Kim. I agree completely and that is where we will see the sordid truth of all this. The Cosby Family had already given Andrea Constand $3.4M, but apparently that is not enough. If Constand and Co. want only justice, then let the conviction serve that purpose. However, we will see that this is really a plot for more money, and of course fame, from the psychologically sick Constand family. Blessings be to the Cosby Family during this time of more tragedy. Women, own your sexuality and don't blame others for your manipulative actions. Your lies hurt women who truly have been victims of sexual attacks. May your karma come back to you ten-fold.
1
Believe women.
12
This is an incredibly historic moment for the United States and I'm glad to be able to see glimpses of how it's all unfolding and to see what's on the line for both "sides", although it pains me to describe it that way. The events surrounding Kavanaugh are a perfect illustration of how the people of the U.S. have integrated politics into their personal identities so heavily that it can be very difficult for some people to separate their truest beliefs from the rhetoric that surrounds them. It's like being in the middle of a crowd at a rock concert and the energy of the crowd is pushing you forward, but at the same time, your friend is trying to get your attention right next to you. It's easy to be swept with the wave of politics and the feeling of importance that you get when you voice your opinions, but I think (and hope) that within the next several years, we'll see a shift in how much politics plays a part in our daily interactions and we'll all be able to take a firm step back into civility with each other.
In summary, I think we are on the verge of everyone relaxing the imperativeness of their views. There are many ways to go about solving our disagreements and problems without resorting to screaming at each other when we all (mostly) have the best intentions.
1
It's about time that someone is held to be accountable. The women who came forward risked everything while he kept collecting his accolades and salary.
10
The below FB thread includes many relevant opinions. Women face these men every day and are often silenced by fear of retribution. We’re watching these #metoo stories now hoping for some kind of vindication and a sense that maybe we can feel safer going forward. Right now all this news does is dredge up similar experiences we’ve each had, myself included. Sadness and anger walk hand in hand with a desire for justice. But Andrea Constand is right, it damages you for life and often derails careers and/or relationships. Thanks for keeping us informed. And for keeping the fire under the feet of all these arrogant predators who continue to live very fine lives above the law while preying on unsuspecting victims and ruining their lives. I’m one of them. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156013479624217&set=a.1015...
3
Cosby may have been found guilty but the systems and institutions that enabled him for decades? Not so much.
Despite his fame and fortune, Cosby's behavior speaks to the realities and pervasiveness of our rape culture, one which has long sanctioned and even encouraged this type of behavior for the ordinary man.
Check out the advice offered from a classic 1970's book "How to Pick Up Girls." This misogynist manifesto of male entitlement was the quintessential guide for the testosterone drive members of the Me Generation that promised a fool proof guide to meeting women and scoring, whatever it took. http://wp.me/p2qifI-2XN
2
Wealthy white male privilege has gone unquestioned in this country since its establishment; indeed its been nurtured, protected and celebrated. Growing up in the Midwest 40 years ago, I was taught explicitly that it was men who really mattered in this world, and men who could and would do you harm if you crossed them. Now, though I'm an accomplished professional, I still retain some residual fear of men, some sense that it's my job to "manage" them by feeding their egos or at the very least staying out of their way. This feeling runs deep, and much more would have to change before I'd be free of it.
18
I am glad that Cosby, a blind 81 year old man has been sentenced and is going to prison. I would normally feel bad about it, but this is a symbolic victory more than anything, saying that no one is above the law, not even a blind 81 year old Public figure. I can’t wait for us to start sentencing people like Bill O’Riley and Harvey Weinstein and Les Moonves too, to say that this is not a partisan or race issue, and any public figure will be made to answer for their crimes. I also hope this moves down to non-Public figures too and that it is no longer a plausible defense for people like Brock Turner to claim “this sentencing will ruin my life.” I believe that several states have decided to teach consent in their sex education programs, and I believe that it is time that the entire nation follows suit to hammer it in that that is not a plausible excuse. Nor is the idea that “boys will be boys.” If you behave like a criminal, you will face the consequences as they currently exist.
On another note, I think it would be beneficial for men to go to therapy more often to expunge them of this toxic masculinity and internalized rape culture. And that includes those who have been sentenced.
4
One could write a book about all of this.
In a nutshell - the superficial external appearence - “America’s Dad”, the “groomed for Supreme Court” candidate with the “golden resume” - can often have their dark, dark interior. This is a time of exposing this darkness to the light.
13
3-10 for Cosby; lifetime Supreme Court appointment for Kavanaugh: anything wrong with this picture?
10
It's time that men start realizing that women are not going to take it anymore. We are standing up and standing tall. Bill Cosby, makes me very sad and angry. Sad because he has ruined his life and his families. He is a disgrace to the black community and should not be given a pass because he is old. He should have been brought to justice years ago and about Brett Kavanaugh, there is no way this man should be on the supreme court. The Republican's are pushing their luck if they put this man through. I think that voters, especially women are going to come out in droves to vote. So the old guard needs to watch out because it is a new day.
10
@Angelacs45
Hi, I like your comment however he's not a disgrace to the black community, he's a disgrace to the community, full stop.
We're all part of that community and it in some small amount reaffirms my belief in justice.
I have no idea how someone who wants to be on the SC, can proceed with nomination before being exonerated.
We need citizens of good character and conduct to serve as role models.
3
As a 2 time survivor of rape, I applaud the Cosby conviction and stand with the accusers. Until last week, I'd never publicly spoken of my assaults.
My conscience will not allow me to sit idly by. One rape at 18, i didn't report. I was scared and ashamed. I was drugged and raped in 2014. I did report that. Last I knew, my rape kit and thousands of others were backlogged and unprocessed. I am speaking out to support these brave women, they are not out here alone.
I hope government collectively will realize women matter. Process ALL backlogged kits. Believe us and stand by us. Men, call out any men you see behaving badly.
21
I’m exhausted. I’m only 28 but as a sexual violence speaker & advocate I feel like I’ve been fighting for decades. I’m already tired but there is so much left to do. These past two weeks have felt miserable and unbearable at times. With today’s news about Bill Cosby, I have hope because for so long we never thought we’d see this day for his victims, and yet here it is. But it’s not enough. We need more action against more perpetrators, and sooner. We need culture change. We need more men speaking out to other men against this kind of violence. I hope we continue to see progress and I will keep pushing to that end, but weeks like this can make it feel impossible, or nearly insurmountable.
11
I don't think the prison sentence is just. His actions were reprehensible but for goodness sake he is 81 and cannot see. Putting him on a sexual predator list is enough punishment.
4
I work in news, and I get push notifications from news outlets across the country. I feel like it's all totally unavoidable. And - as a survivor of sexual assault - I can feel my chest constrict even when I just see a picture of one of the two of them. Getting notifications to my phone now can send me into a panic. The president of the free world is standing behind a man accused of sexual assault. A man I grew up watching is only facing 3-10 years when around 60 women have come forward with allegations.
It's overwhelming, and I feel completely unable to stop looking. I think there might be a line between staying in the loop and re-traumatizing myself, and I don't know how to walk it.
13
I think it speaks to how much evidence, how many stories we need before a woman is believed. Why is the word of men always more credible than the word of women?
11
The Kavanaugh situation is more than overwhelming. I've been trying to find a therapist to deal with the stress of it all. As someone who has gone through something similar to Dr. Ford, an assault where it "wasn't rape" so some say it's "not that bad" but is traumatizing just the same. Hearing Republican Senators call it a smear campaign, that "all 17 year olds do it," that "it doesn't matter what a 17 year old does in their future" is retraumatizing in and of itself. I have had to deactivate my facebook because any comment against Ford feels too personal, too direct. While I am happy that #MeToo is finally letting women come forward and bring down their attackers, I still don't know how to process the news in its constant interviews of old men who were raised in a rape culture full of victim blaming.
12
@Madison
I am so sorry you are going through so much during this stressful time. Your comments touched me. Know that you are not alone.
7
@Madison
I am so sorry, Madison. I feel re-traumatized by all of this, as well.
I was attacked at work 40 years ago. I may be an exception but I haven't felt victimized all these years. Now I see it as a sign of the times, which have changed dramatically, thankfully.
I would never entertain the thought that a man today should be indicted without evidence (whether legally or in the public opinion domain) just because someone got away with attacking me decades ago.
I really don't understand how women can abandon all reason and rational thought and declare someone guilty because of their personal and separate experiences. Makes no sense to me.
1
@AACNY I'm not sure your comment makes sense to me. It is impossible to indict someone without evidence. Oh and...A WOMAN'S STORY IS EVIDENCE. What happens to an abuser after a woman tells her story is left to other forces. But her story should be told.
3
@Attygirl
A woman's "story" is evidence of what, exactly? Her own assault but not someone else's unless you're talking about the same attacker.
Her story is clearly not evidence of anything in an incident that never happened to her.
It's been overwhelming, honestly. Overwhelming to the point where I'm rationing how much news and social media I'm taking in each day because it makes me incredibly sad and anxious each time I read stories about the Senate GOP members willingly ignoring credible accusations against Kavanaugh to further their agenda, or to see the thousands of tweets using the hashtag #whyIdidntreport, as women shared their most painful stories with the world. It hurts so much to see empathy just drain out of a huge faction of the country day after day in the name of being "right."
1
I'm glad the time has finally come when people feel comfortable about speaking out of these confrontations.
2
Well since NYT basically added to all of our stress by publishing the Rosenstein story on Friday (and opened the door wide to a complete shutdown of the Mueller probe and throwing us into a Constitutional crisis) I'm not sure you're the best ones to take our temperature on how we 'feel' about all of this.
11
I am too mean to get raped. Your average male gets near me and gets humbled by a near volcanic fire that matches that of Pele, goddess of the big island of Hawaii.
Bill Cosby got what was coming his way. Can he feel the heat?
His wife is a victim too. I pray, in a Buddhist kind of way for both of them.
Yes, my personal position has become politicized. Having said that, perhaps It is possible (but not likely) that I might live long enough to change from always voting for the woman candidate to voting for a man, no matter how smart, kind, woman-supporting the male candidate professes himself to be.