Thanks for the laugh. Good job!
7
Thank you, LD. You are one of the few that can make me laugh at this point.
This was perfect.
5
Now wondering how long it will take The Donald (Jr) to repost it to his favorite site(s), as proof there was no collusion.
16
As always Larry, amusing and funny scenario.
However, I'd like to see your take on 1. the texts and
phone calls between Hillary and others the night of Benghazi.
2. Conversations beween Bruce Ohr, Steele, and Strzok, and Page for that matter too!
3. Hillary demanding the dirt on Donald Trump and fixing
the FISA court.
No that would be a hoot! C'mon you can do it.
2
Just as Manafort leaves:
Don Jr.: if this was a crime, you think we will get away with it? We will certainly not get Hillary's presidential pardon.
Jared: Do not worry, I have plenty of experience. We will also asl Manafort for his advice, he seems to get away with a lot.
3
Don Jr: Well, if I don't call the FBI, I should at least call my father. He asked me to tell him how everything went.
(Beeps of phone dialing. Long pause)
Don Jr.: Nuts! His phone is blocked or something....I'll have to tell him later.
4
Great read. The new normal is lying. People will begin every conversation with..." Hey can I get your opinion..and tell me the truth?"
Or, Like...when you want to borrow your dad's car. "Dad can I use the car"? Your dad answers with his standard...: " Where you going..and don't lie to me?"
Business and government will function with employees saying to their bosses, " Hey can I tell you the truth"? Surprised the supervisor will need to sit down. And answer with the standard, " How do I know you're not lying."?
Life as we know will cease to exist.
..
3
We are living in a post satire world.
Larry needs a new gig
3
Would a Russian call it a tuna fish sandwich? Don't they already know tuna is fish?
2
I just checked Fox to see if this revelation of the honest, absolving truth appeared under a "Breaking News" banner.
3
Lane outdated schick from a guy who thought homeless guys in rickshaws and burning the Puerto Rican flag were really funny!
2
This is good. Pretty, pretty, pretty good...
13
If this were true, Jared is the (primary, instigating) treasonous felon. Makes one wonder how focused Mueller's sights are on Jared?
Follow the money. Flipping Wasserstein will enable just that.
Amazing how satire sharpens our focus. Thank you.
1
Sort of reminds me of a Stan Freeberg skit.
Hi Larry:
Not that I am a comedian, but I think this needs more work.
Something along the lines of five Russians Witch Catchers, One Englishman, Three Manhattanite Real Estate Brokers, Oh, maybe Four Real Estate Brokers, walk into a Bar.
I am working on the rest.
You could take the "Rigged" Witch Hunt, and work that into
we have dirt on a witch,
which witch?
how many Ostrich Skin Coats do you want for it?
Don't Like?
How bout Python Skin Coats?
something to that effect.
I appreciate you keeping up with current events. More satire is wanted.
1
Larry ... not your best. Even Steven Colbert is better.
3
Anyone want to bet that Faux News, then Trump, Limbaugh, Jones, etc., won't quote this as what REALLY happened???
6
Perhaps Mr. David can utilize his talents to reconstruct "that" meeting on the tarmac between former President Bill Clinton and former Attorney-General Loretta Lynch. Or "that" meeting at which Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton decided with her staff to eliminate over 30,000 emails and to wipe the hard-drive of their computer servers. Or "that" meeting when President Obama informed his top security aides to stand down on the investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 election.
Lots of rich material for Mr. David.
4
Several “whataboutisms” don’t make Mr. David’s satire any less valid. We could play “whatabout” all day long, but changing the subject is not an effective rebuttal to another person’s point.
My nephews, 4 year-old twins, usually attempt to deflect blame or point out the misbehavior of others when we catch them engaging in undesirable behavior. As adults, we never fall into the trap allowing them to change the terms of the situation. And as adults, we should be above engaging in such antics ourselves.
21
@Maurice Gatien
BEST post of the day. Thank you!!
Never ceases to amaze me the hypocritical thinking of
those on the left.
Lynch: I can't believe what a coincidence to run into you on this tarmac! How was your golf game? And that new grandchild of yours?
And NO I will not discuss anything having to do with Hillary "investigation" and I will not have her behaviour changed to "CARELESS"
This could be an epic if I continue.....
2
I think Maurice’s point is that the Times would never dare use satire to criticize anything that the democrats have ever done.
1
In the words of the great Larry David, "Eh."
1
I am reminded of that great comedy album, "The First Family"
with JFK and the other heads of state ordering lunch. What is it about Jews and food? First a column about breakfast, now one about lunch. Can't wait for Mr. David's take on the the last supper with Trump's thirteen cabinet members and family. Jared is fingered by the FBI for ordering pork chops. Donald only takes his burger only on white bread. Sarah is still waiting and waiting and waiting to be served...You get the idea. Now pass the latkes. ;-)
2
The Trump Tower meeting has met the equal of "I didn't have sex with that woman" and "I'm not a crook". Excellent satire.
7
Why didn’t you stop after the third to last season of Curb Your Enthusiasm?
Shout out to the cartoonist George Wylesol. I loved the cartoon at the top of the piece--makes the absurdity of the adoption lie and fake patriotism clear in a visual. Brilliant. I also admire how Wylesol captured each participant's looks with simple lines and colors.
As for the comment posters who fear readers won't know this is satire, are you trolling us? Or have you given up entirely on the intelligence of NYT readers? From the janitor-in-the-closet, through the Arnold Palmers, the 'c' word (Constitution, Coffers, Conspiracy), to Manafort saying, "We’re a democracy. Our elections are sacred. And when it comes right down to it, I’d rather lose than win by cheating, " it's all hilarious and clearly not journalism. Get a grip.
3
I'm not able to laugh at this monster, it's the equivalent of what it would have been like trying to poke fun at Hitler during WWII.
A person has to possess a detectable, plausible speck of humanity to be a successful target of political satire or parody. Trump has proven again and again that he is beyond the point of redemption, and as such pieces like this fall flatter than a pancake.
We should not be attempting to humanize and normalize a person who is so beyond the pale of acceptability as a president and human being, it continues to feed a false and dangerous narrative that he is somehow redeemable.
Mr. David, please write another season of Curb if you're that bored, this is cringe worthy, and I am a fan.
2
(After Jr. considers calling the F.B.I. again, the 3 patriots quickly depart to the executive suite where they tell Sr. what transpired with the Russkies on the floor below. He, in turn, places that call to the feds, filling the Gmen in on Putin’s nefarious plot. The Republic is saved. In response, a grateful nation later elects Donald J. Trump as the 45th President of the United States.)
1
Did Bernie Sanders write this?
I expect more from Larry David.
3
Rob Goldstone's not American.....
Weak output from an otherwise funny comedy writer. Everyone digs dirt on their opponents. they either did... or they didn't... Get over it.
1
Every politician digs dirt from foreign nations we have sanctions against?
Source?
4
I still haven’t stopped laughing over the soup Nazi bit yet. Which is why when now I hear Trump compared to one I just shrug.
2
I don’t know...... this sounds a little fake to me.
2
There was a microwave oven in the room, so the Deep State already have it all on tape. Thanks Obama!
2
This is wrong bigly!! I know for a fact there was lemonade!
Please stop publishing LD’s half baked “satirical” pieces on the Trump administration. They are not funny, clever or well written by any measure. Is this piece trying to convey the absurdity of the Trump team’s initial assertions about the meeting being about abortions? If so, it’s mildly effective but still not funny. Maybe there’s a demographically shift in humor but it sure seems like LD has lost it.
3
Not that funny.
3
Rather mediocre writing. Sure, I've laughed at his tv shows.
But there are people who do this kind of thing better.
I'm not sure Mr. David deserves this much NY Times exposure.
3
This is what bombing looks like in print.
4
Of, if only.
One can never be too careful when colluding with Russians. Just when you think you are sitting down for a delicious tuna salad and some dirt on your election opponent some Russian lawyer drops by and slips you a chicken salad instead.
2
Pretty, pretty, good.
2
This article was about nothing. I thought it was something. About something big. Disappointing! Funny! Don't this again. Fake news.
What a hoot, but readers shouldn't rely on the comments sections to realize this is satire. The NY Times should have run this in the art section.
Sorry, was meant for a different article...
If only ...
The Times paid for this? Not exactly Larry's best work.
3
I don't know about humor but I do know facts and trickery. This is fact based. What is it doing in opinion? And what is all the fake news doing in the other sections. This is a genuine scoop yet it sits here, buried and alone just because the author is Jewish, talks funny, and looks even stranger.
1
I expect to see this on Fox News very soon. See, they're innocent!
1
Those poor forgotten Russian babies that lost in the the fake news.
1
Brilliant!
2
Not at all funny. Larry, stick to writing situation comedies like Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, and leave political humor to others like Bill Maher who are much better at it than you.
3
Where iz Moose and Squirrel? Now, pleaze to give me bribe.
1
If only ...
Pretty, pretty lame. Larry, let me tell you what your sycophants won't: Curb your "satire", and especially your playwriting.
Stick to where your significant talent lies: sitcoms.
You're welcome.
www.newyorkgritty.net
3
Don , Jr.'s mother Ivana is an ethnic Slavic communist atheist just like Vladimir Putin and Melania Trump. Are the 1st and 3rd foreign born and bred Trump wives acting as agents of Russian intelligence?
What did Ivana and Melania know and when did they know it? Both women illegally came to America and were naturalized by apparent deception and fraud. Both women worked while in America on tourist visas.
Unless and until we know the extent of Russian hacking and meddling in American campaigns and elections there should be a total ban of ethnic Slavic communist atheist immigration to America from the former Soviet Union and the Warsaw Pact nations. MAGA!
3
Mueller
Ain't
Going
Away
1
Is this repot real? Or a fiction?
Donald Junior get wish. F.B.I. called.
Donald Senior making offer. Any Russian family want to adopt greasy middle-aged son?
1
Meh . Was that you Larry , sitting on the porch of the Chilmark store with Dershowitz and Peter Simon ? Summer outcasts all .
Perhaps Larry David can work on a "transcript" of Hillary and Sid Blumenthal composing the fictional dossier. Or the Bill Clinton-Loretta Lynch tarmac meeting. Or the one where Obama okays Hillary's private server. Or Loretta Lynch approves the visa for Natalia Veselnitskaya. Or the meetings she had with Fusion GPS before and after the Trump Tower meeting. Or John Podesta handing over his password to a "Russian hacker" (wink, wink). Or where Hillary and her collection of knaves destroy her server with hammers and BleachBit. Or the numerous conversations between Comey, McCabe, Ohr, Strzok, not to mention Mueller and Andrew Weissman. Or the one where Strzok and Comey decide to give immunity to Huma and Cheryl Mills or decide to end their investigation without even interviewing Hillary. Or the numerous conversations between Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Imran Awan. Or the clandestine conversations between Nellie Ohr, her husband, Bruce Ohr and Steele, and, and, and, and, and . . . How courageous of Larry David. Curb your stupidity.
1
@Jackson THANK YOU! Brilliant post.
Finally, some "real" news!!!
2
Reading these two columns has been like watching Michael Jordan when he played for the Washington Wizards.
2
Election in bag.
Larry Fail.
4
I can't wait to see the Twitter reaction from President Thin Skin, also citing the "failing" NYT whose profits are up nicely.
1
Bravo!
1
Ha ha? Very dated 90s shtick. Meanwhile, the lout and thug are setting into motion the destruction of our nation. Go drive your Prius into your pool of money, Larry.
2
LD...the king
1
Phone rings.
“Hello, Vlad? ...”
“Dah.”
“It’s Don. It appears they have the transcript.”
“Dah. We are havink failing New York Times in Moscow also.”
“I’m afraid my base will hate the notion that I was for immigration. Could set up chain migration.”
“Dah. But involves separating children from Mother Russia.”
“It would have been the greatest separation ever in the history of adoption. But Hilary’s emails got in the way. Sad.”
“I am tellink you not to send moose and squirrel.”
“But my wonderful son and Jared, who I barely know, just wanted to help those children. And Manafort, who only worked for my campaign a very short time, bought a new Bijan suit for the meeting.”
“Dah. You should not have Michalovitch Cohensky sittink in closet. We buggink meeting anyway.”
“He was the only one of my personal attorneys available. None of them really represents Trump. Trump represents himself best in the greatest way.”
“Dah. Don you are one of kind. And havink intellect like no other.”
“Thank you, Vlad. I’m glad you put that so forcefully. But no collusion. Witch hunt.”
“Dah. Even in Russia takes two to tango but only one president. Maybe President for life.”
“From your lips to God’s ear, Vlad.”
“Dah. Is no problem, Don. Can’t indict a sittink god.”
1
The meeting was about adoption. President Trump said so. He wouldn’t lie, would he? Oh, wait, those darn NYT Fact-checkers, always sticking their noses in.........
1
Niet!
You very bad man, Larry. Very, very bad man.
Schtick with the schtick
2
I read this and now I am confused as to how a script from the collection of SNL skits that were too bad to make it to TV (and if you don’t know how bad those scripts have to be, please waste three minutes if your time on this pointless, directionless drivel) made it into the NYT.
4
Larry, why ain't you a journalist?
Conspiracy Compost, in unequal parts:
Whitewater silt,
Lewinsky loam,
Benghazi mud,
Dehydration horse manure, and now
Clinton dirt, via the Russian Steppes.
Most effective in the croplands of our own Middle West.
1
Thought the meeting was about ‘chain migration’. Check back with your janitor buddy, Larry.
Time for Larry David to hang up his spikes ,call it a day and a career: This article goes up like a lead balloon. When a trumpet or coronet player blows that first false note, indication that he no longer is capable of playing as he once did, like Harry James, just 1 example, whose solo on 1938 Carnegie Hall performance of "SING SING SING" with Benny GOODMAN band is a classic, he or she is the last to know.(Everyone should plug into it! But this article falls flat, because Mr. David is a leftist, has an agenda, readily apparent! Why not go after shenanigans of the Clintons, DWS, O who could not fashion a coherent foreign policy re M.E. because he never bothered to learn idioms of Farsi or Arabic, was at the mercy of the capable VJ who speaks fluent Farsi and grew up in the Islamic Republic!R O, HRC and DWS not worthy also of ridicule? Regarding imaginary conversations, supposed to leave us laughing in the style of a younger Maureen Dowd or Art Buchald, whose article, "How to explain Thanksgiving to the French"is among the best, Mr. David's contribution just doesn't make it!
1
What happened at Trump Tower? White "boys" just being "boys." Crime is for minorities. Hand slap is for white folks.
2
The Russian language stereotype is so lame, so tired and trite.
This is about the byline (clickbait) and not the content.
Meh.
I expect something much better from the Times.
(And Mr. David,)
3
Larry, Larry, Larry, oh Larry, You have outdone yourself. In general, I have stopped consuming news, mainstream or fake, about sTRUMPY, but occasionally something pops up and I am like, "Wait a minute. Larry David, of Curb Your Enthusiasm? That Larry David?" Well, I choked on my coffee and had to wipe my eyes and blow my noise from crying with laughter and thank you so much for providing a serious highlight for the weekend, and it is still early and who know what else may happen. You are good. So good. I wait with baited breath for additional observations.
1
As virtually everyone must know by now,
Trump is simply a extremely troubled and corrupt person
who can't get along with anyone.
If he can't get along with Justin Trudeau
and Canada, who can be get along with?
1
For a shocking number of the comments this morning, the needle on the clue meter is fluttering around zero (not to mention the number of recommendations for them).
Did someone post a reference to this piece on the Fox News website? Hard to otherwise explain this phenomenon...
3
It had to be about adoption because Hillary had the election sewn up and won.
1
The Dutch have a famous saying "A Cry and a Laugh" meaning that any disaster is kept in balance through a positive and funny perspective (Piet Paaltjes, Leiden, Netherlands).
Larry David did it - I feel much better already.
2
It is a sign of our troubled times that many people (some people say) might read this as the truth and not as satire.
2
Waiting for Mr. David's new HBO show, "Curb Your Collusion." Could be hit.
1
Is this meant to be comedy? I read it twice and no, I couldn't find the funny line or the punch line. A lot of remarks in dubious taste regarding election rigging and adoption, but no humour. Did I miss something?
3
Spend more time on “Curb”. Last season was unwatchable.
1
Getting dirt on your opponent from foreigners is something that Clinton's people did in their hiring of an ex British intelligence officer to create a dossier about any disgusting allegations he can either come up with or concoct about Trump. So it is difficult to see why seeking out the help of foreigners to find dirt on your opponent if okay, while when if foreigners approach a campaign on their own offering up dirt on ones opponent simply agreeing to meet with them should be a crime. There is zero evidence or even reason to believe that those Russians told the Trump people that they were there not on their own but were instead sent by the Russian government.
1
It would be funny were it not about something very serious.
1
Why do I keep thinking of Natasha and Boris?
1
So I expect to hear Giuliani quote some of this on the Sunday shows as proof of a Witch Hunt. An invitation to Mr. David to appear on Fox should be forthcoming.
Mr. David walked right into a satire trap.
1
Oh, so that’s where the word “satrap” came from...
1
Donald Jr. is quite a guy. I hope he gives us the chance to vote for him for president after his father finishes his 4th term.
This is about as funny as LD's Broadway show, "Fish In The Dark."
2
Amusing satire, but what isn't amusing is the number of readers are think it was straight reporting!
1
Well, OK, it is a little funny, thanks Larry. But it wanders a bit there at the end and just doesn't come down with a big season ender or at least a come-on to watch the next episode. Couldn't you just have Rinat leave the bag of Clinton dirt on the table as he leaves saying "I am forget something, yes?"?
Junior is such a good boy, isn’t he, the way he just wants what’s best for the orphaned children? We should all be so caring about humanity. I think he wanted to put many of them up in his mansions, right? I think I’m going to cry.
1
Fantastic. I was delighted by Larry David's brilliant writing until I realized that they are telling a very similar version on Fox "News" every night.
2
We don't show enough appreciation for our janitorial service workers. Thanks for your insight.
2
How ironic if "Don" Trump should be instrumental in bringing down "Don" Trump.
Read that either way.
1
What a relief. Guess Mueller can put this whole meeting issue to rest now.
1
Hilarious! Yes, I’m sure that’s what went down...not.
1
Amusing, but not funny. I think Mr.David is in his autumnal years. I am in the middle of re-reading
Woody Allen's incredibly witty 'Mere Anarchy', and this piece by David pales in comparison to Woody's sardonic prose and fertile imagination. C'mon NYT, give the guy who made 'Love and Death'- the guy who has read Dostoevsky and Tolstoy a chance to rip open Russia-gate.
2
Yes, but where was Moose and Squirrel?
1
When truth is stranger than farce, satire is a stretch that doesn't snap.
1
Nicely done. If only!
1
Janitors, closets, recording devices.... this is IT! Trump finally redeems himself! Steven Yablonsky, we Real Americans knew all along, the common folk, plain talkers like Trump himself would stop this witch hunt by smartypants Mueller.
Cannot wait to be part the standing ovation for your service when you help stump for Donny at the next Trump rally.
1
That's why broke Paul Manafort would work for free on multibillionaire Donald Trump's campaign: he did it for the children. Those poor Russian children
Ever since his inauguration (well, after that inaugural address he needed a long weekend in the shower just like the rest of us, but ever since the following Monday) Trump has been working till he's—whatever color you get when you mix orange and blue—in the face to come up with new ways to fill American orphanages for prospective parents.
Think of it: the Trump Administration family separation policy's netted us 500 South American kids. Just think of the pride, joy and civic engagement they'll feel when each is mature enough to understand the circumstances by which they came to be left here.
Really, I think ALL of us share that degree of pride, joy and civic engagement when we're mature enough to understand it ourselves.
And hey, I hear those Tender Age detention pens are almost like summer camp. Heck, Don Jr. should know, he spent his summers behind the Iron Curtain at his maternal grandparents' in Czechoslovakia. This meeting's a prime example of how an experience like that built Junior's czarachter.
And now it comes full circle: yesterday Don Jr.'s fourth set of grandparents used "chain migration" to become U.S. citizens, thanks to their daughter the—ahem—lingerie model landing herself an American husband.
Don't knock it, 50 votes for Cavanaugh and any one of us might need to migrate. So work those abs. It's Trudeau.
2
So what is that recipe for nothing burger?
1
This makes me realize how much Art Buchwald is missed and what fun he'd be having writing about this mess we're in.
Great illustration George Wylesol!
MIke Royko has been dead for years and I still miss his columns. It's so great to read someone who can get the same tone. Nice job Larry. Hilarious.
1
Of course this is much more accurate than Wapo or NYT articles. Trump family is big on orphans. In fact their entire border strategy requires making more orphans because the Trump Admin wants many more people of color unlike his chain immigration inlaws.
2
I suppose you think you're being funny Mr. David. But now you've gone and given that cabal a perfectly plausible explanation for their actions - at least as plausible as anything we've heard from the colluders themselves.
I expect before the day is out Trump will be tweeting again how this is all a witch hunt and how even a stand-up guy like Larry David believes Junior, his inlaws and assorted outlaws did absolutely nothing wrong.
My advice to you Mr. David is that you stick to your sit-coms. No matter how far-fetched, they're far more believable than the outrageous reality Mr. Trump is perpetrating on a hapless America.
It is not unlawful to receive incriminating information about political rivals from foreign nationals. This is why no one has been indicted in connection with the Trump Tower meeting. And—no—accepting “dirt” about political rivals from foreign nationals does not violate the Federal Election Campaing Act’s “something of value” prohibition. The Federal Election Commission Maintains a convenient web page that explains what counts as “some of value” in campaign contributions. Incriminating information about a political rival does not fit the definition. The page, titled “Type of Contributions” is at https://www.fec.gov/help-candidates-and-committees/candidate-taking-rece...
According to the Federal Election Commission, “Generally, an individual (including a foreign national) may volunteer personal services to a federal candidate or federal political committee without making a [illegal] contribution. The Act provides this volunteer ‘exemption’ as long as the individual performing the service is not compensated by anyone.” The Trump campaign did not pay Natalia Veselnitskaya for information, as the Clinton campaign paid foreign national Christopher Steele to produce the Steele Dossier.
1
That Don Jr sure is a stand up guy. I trust him just as much as I do his father. Two ethical patriots if ever I saw them...
3
Sure its funny. It comes from Larry David so no surprise there. Just doesn't mention where the Steele Dossier came from or who paid for it. Neither does it mention how similar that is to what was being made fun of here. But still made me laugh. Just didn't change my vote this November or in 2020.
1
"We’re a democracy. Our elections are sacred. And when it comes right down to it, I’d rather lose than win by cheating."
Now that's funny. But not exactly "ha ha" funny.
It's a good thing we finally went to all-paper ballots back in 2016. It could have been a real disaster otherwise, you know.
So if that multiverse theory is right, there must be a whole lot of other universes that didn't go south the way this one has. How did we get stuck here, anyway?
1
Painfully funny - almost makes me forget about what is going on in Interior, Education, the EPA, ...
Not. Thanks for a chuckle.
10
This reminds me of a line in the record 'The First Family', when JFK is taking orders for lunch and the Russian, Khrushchev, says, "I'll have a bite of everybody else's." So, do not believe that Trump's scene is very different from JFK's, as politicians are politicians. You can find the whole First Family on line and see for yourself.
1
I was wondering what happened, sometimes we walk by the hard working janitor and we fail to realize what a gift they may be.
This sir is a gift to our country, too bad a small mistake like a failure to put up a sign would get you fired.
5
I was laughing aloud. However grave our situation, writing like this is most welcome.
13
Comic genius. We need to laugh sometimes.
10
While I enjoy Larry David's shows on some level, I think this particular episode is way beneath his creative abilities and his irreverent satire.
Also, unfortunately, there is really nothing at all funny about the desecration of our democracy under the thugs who are running it. So even black humor doesn't work here. Kind of on the same level is a dark humor joke about death in front of a grieving mother at the funeral of her child.
1
You are wrong dragonfly. Black humor has no taboo subjects, not even the Holocaust. Here is an authentic joke from Auschwitz. Have you heard that Hitler will die on a holiday? How do you know? Well, no matter when he dies, it will be a holiday.
Too soon?
Yes, too soon.
Please wait until the indictments are handed down and some semblance of democracy and common goodness are restored.
4
I agree, too soon. These crooks are stealing and destroying the peace and the world. Watch them fill their pockets and leave us with a financial meltdown by the end of trumps term. This would be funny to me if it were to be over. It is not. Plus there are people out there that are capable to not understand the joke and believe it happened like this.
12
I'm loving Larry David's very mild exaggerations of the unintentionally comical explanations that are being handed out on a daily basis to cloak the irregularities of what has to be the most corrupt administration in US history.
Can Larry David take over Sarah Huckabee's job? I'll bet the ratings would go up, and you know how the boss feels about ratings.
13
If we don’t laugh we’ll cry
8
It’s funny but seriously I am over the so called entertainment value to all this. It ain’t funny any more. We are being had under the disguise of Trump base supports him. I know even the mob is usually supported by 30%
16
@Eraven
68% of Republicans supported the traitor in chief's performance in Helsinki. But Republicans are only 24% of Americans, meaning that the Trump insanity is mainly backed by 16% of Americans (enabled by the Republican majority in Congress). It's ridiculous that 16% of Americans are holding this country hostage.
From Wikipedia:
".........As of October 2017, Gallup polling found that 31% of Americans identified as Democrat, 24% identified as Republican, and 42% as Independent......"
2
@Eraven
Trump's base can make a living as extras on "The Walking Dead" They move and act like zombies, and when interviewed they can't get beyond grunts.
1
I really miss Art Buchwald. This helps a great deal. Thanks, Larry David. Also reminds me of the Walrus and the Carpenter in Alice in Wonderland. How they cried. I feel like an oyster.
9
Thank you for the opening episode of what will someday be a great Comedy Show. Now who will play the characters; ah there are so many
5
I have to agree that this story will migrate to the Trumpist universe as an accurate narrative of the meeting. Its inhabitants will find the satire too subtle to perceive.
16
When this happens, and Larry David responds, “No! No! Don’t you get it? I was joking!”, the right will have the same reaction the left has when Trump tries to walk back one of his ridiculous lies by claiming it was a joke. They will reject the explanation as a lame excuse. The reason is the same on both sides: Trump, and apparently most of his lackeys and followers, were born without the humor gene. They can’t recognize a joke, much less make one. Too bad only one side knows this.
What are the chances some right wing website takes this seriously and reprints it as "proof" of no collusion? This has happened with several articles from The Onion. I don't think the right does satire. Or humor, in general.
44
Oh the right does satire alright. Unfortunately every single comedian, you know of the sort that actually make people laugh, has been been put off the airwaves by liberals, who deemed their content too insensitive and not politically correct. What you’re left with are the Colbert’s, Kimmel’s, Trevor Noah’s, and Michelle Wolf’s, whose only “comedy” schtick entails incorrectly and without substance mocking the right.
1
@Jennene Colky -- Comedy can be challenging for the 'right':
"The Nixon I remembered was absolutely humorless; I couldn't imagine him laughing at anything except maybe a paraplegic who wanted to vote Democratic but couldn't quite reach the lever on the voting machine." -- Hunter S. Thompson
3
@David Keltz
Baloney. Dennis Miller can be funny. But when he's openly partisan, it's usually not funny. Because humor needs an element of truth and insight to work, and conservatism hasn't been able to generate any real insight to the human condition for decades, except to claim Americans don't work hard enough to deserve Medicare/Medicaid with no proof the abuse is worse than the cost depriving people of their healthcare.
So...haha...no Medicare for you!
See? Real Nazis are sooo less funny than Soup Nazis.
1
Thank You Larry David. It is great to read a funny, compelling scenario of the assertions Trump and the team have made about what the meeting was really about...adoption.HAH! And righteous adherence to the law..of coarse! That's why Trump can't wait to reveal his Tax Returns and, at last, get things straight with Mueller. As if the Trump administration ever cared about the law and/or children anywhere.
These people (Trump and his circus of shallow, corrupt performers) could not give a hootenanny about any element of humanity outside of their orbit of mirrors and gold. Trump seeing Putin as a worthy leader and his government of dangerous henchmen as somehow good people worthy of 'warm' relations with our country is preposterous and deeply disturbing.
David, an extraordinarily funny creative person, shows how ridiculous Trump and his coconspirators assertions of innocence have been. Just like everything Trump does. It's been one long sanity defying charade. Trump is like a cartoon character with out the funny part.
Thanks Larry David and The New York Times for giving we readers some much needed levity.
2
Nothing like tuna/chicken mystery to bring focus and bilateral agreement.
10
This is most optimistic for a satire on. Loved it anyway.
We all would have wanted to be "the fly on the wall" that day in Trump Tower. Thanks Larry David for giving us the real deal. Who would have thunk it.
2
The high moral standards set by the president himself are shown here trickling down through his hand picked team!
That is leadership, that shows how high the bar is set for future administrations.
Unfortunately that is satire.
Laugh or cry?
1
So now we have fake news about all Trump's fake news. But, I think this "transcript" is just the kind of fake news Trump has been looking for re his Mueller investigation "problem."
Also, if some of you readers don't like satire or irony, don't read it.
And by the way, this country is currently drowning in irony, especially if you have ever read the Constitution--which clearly Trump, the GOP, and the entire Trump cabinet have not.
2
The difference between the Trump campaign and the Clinton campaign was that the Clinton's were experienced enough with politics and dirty tricks that they funneled their contacts with Russia through a law firm, a consultant, and a foreign investigator.
In the end the Clinton's got the "Steele dossier" and Trump got the hacked DNC emails. Seems like the Russians had dirt on both parties.
2
@J. Waddell, excellent point. Like Bozo the Clown racing against Usan Bolt. Larry should write about that too.
1
The Steele dossier was not originally "Clinton's" - it was commissioned by anti-Trump Republicans. But keep believing the lie that both parties are equally corrupt. That lie gave us Trump and will give us Trump again if repeated, Goebbels-like, enough times.
1
Larry,
Why does satire at this point not seem funny? The pathetic actions of Trump and Co have exposed a deep sense of seriousness of purpose.
And as a committed fan of Larry since day one this attempt at comedy is sadly not about nothing.
B
2
Maybe in ten years. Right now, it's too soon.
2
No Trump, at any time in history, has ever said, "I’d rather lose than win by cheating." If that were so, we wouldn't be in the mess we're in.
4
Give me a tissue too. I'm all broken up about those adoptions.
3
Thank you Larry David. Of course the Trump Tower meeting with Russians was about "adoption".
And the entire world knows that Donny never told his dad about this carefully planned meeting even though Daddy Trump was in his office only two floors at the time.
But Donny, who did you call immediately after the meeting was over?
Do not fret, Donny, since you cannot remember, I'm sure the FBI have the records and will refresh your memory.
1
This is great satire. But I am afraid that Trump supporters will take this literally.
So great to know that a lowly janitor would have such a window on great doings, but would you believe that a janitor who does not mop the floor correctly would be believable?
6
How about writing the transcript of the conspiracy between Glen Simpson, Christopher Steele, Nellie Our and Bruce Ohr! That would be even more interesting and alarming.
2
@Kris What a conspiracy! No mention of it during the election. FBI leaked nothing on it.
Mr David, use all the money that you've made (if you can't find anyone in Hollywood to back you) and start your own version of the West Wing. It will write itself up ! Hurry up, there's not much time left...
8
BRAVO LARRY!
2
Wow, can't believe this piece is more believable than the stuff that White House came up with.
5
Steven,
You forgot about the winks! Especially, Manafort's wink after "I'd rather lose than win by cheatting" and Natalia's after "We'll keep in touch."
How could you provide such a a poorly annotated transcript? It's incomplete as an unshot Larry David script!
4
Larry thanks for making me laugh. Yes this administration is a joke but the rest of the world doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Trump is making America the worlds pinata.
15
My faith in mankind has been renewed. People from all over the world still have a sense of humor and are reading the New York Times
5
Sardony is akin to irony in this mystery.
1
Larry David..you kill me! I nearly spit out my morning coffee I laughed so hard! Love you!
5
Seems legit.
6
I knew it! I knew it! Don Junior and Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner are good patriotic Americans focused on making America great again and bringing the joy of parenthood to thousands of childless couples.
Oh wait, this was written by Larry David. You mean it's satire? Oops. Sorry.
4
I’d like to hear Robert Mueller’s reaction to this. I doubt if it’s knee slapping laughter. After a year’s time spent it makes him look more like the butt of the joke.
1
This is better than prozac.
8
Unfortunately many not so literate minds will be saying "see even Larry David supports the President!" , as a token of proof that there is truly fake news.
Satire may have died with the 2016 election, only to be replaced with whatever you want to believe, or it's "fake" news..
Where did all the satire go?
5
You aced it again Larry. Fun way to start a Saturday.
Sure do wish you were the janitor in that closet.
Perhaps you could start another TV series.
You could call it " Dumb and Dumber". Or "Father Knows Best"
3
Such a column! Is the New York Times becoming French? Will there be a new section that is immune to the Trumpets of fake news? Might I suggest we name it, "Charlie Hebdo" and use it to shame our own American brand of hubris? Vive The New Charlie Times! Shame us with sardonic spankings until we are shamed of the enjoyment! Yes, we are up to our necks in it, so lets join Lewis Carroll cry, "Less Bread! More Taxes!" Well done Larry David!
3
Except. It’s.Not.Funny.
4
You made me pass my morning covfefe throughmy nose.
12
Everyone except Natasha Fatale should have said "dude" over and over, she would have said "Dar-link" over and over.
3
You've inadvertently played into his hands. Since he doesn't get irony, Trump will see this as a vindication of Don Jr.'s meeting with the Russians: "The lying NY Times at last admits my son's meeting about adoptions was totally innocent."
Way to go, Larry!
6
Larry, I wonder what Susie Essman would say...
2
So funny!
1
Mr. David, I am not well-versed in these matters, but I had some sense that your were a professional in the field of comedy. Was this suppose to be funny? I know you are trying to make an anti-Trump point here and that such efforts will be instinctively supported by most Times readers. Still, I think you owe it to your profession to do much better than this. There was not a single moment during this column where I felt the slightest inclination to smile, much less chuckle or burst into side-splitting laughter. This was the classic cringe-worthy "comedy" routine where the audience is (or should be) embarrassed for the performer, and everyone just wants the painful awkwardness to end. Reading this column gives me the sense that across all fields of endeavor liberals have surrendered to an anti-Trump mania that deprives them of the ability to function according to normal standards.
6
Trump does not function to normal standards; he barely functions on any level. Any method of pointing out his endless treachery, ignorance, lies, hypocrisy, subversion and destruction of democracy is welcome and necessary.
1
Just as I'd thought all along, Steven. Thanks for the confirmation.
1
Great humor, what happened is nothing. Nothing resulted from the meeting, there were no official Russian government officials there. So nothing happened.
4
Marvelous satire. Develop it into a short play.
3
I knew Junior, Jared, and Paul were good people! Not only innocent, but good! Now we have proof. Robert Muller needs to know this ASAP. Phew! Thank you Mr Yablonsky for clearing this up. We are very lucky to have these magnificent people at the helm in our country. Makes me feel strong and proud. So so so glad I voted for them! MAGA!
8
Larry David, I love your humor! You are the best sardonic humor so needed now.
7
Not funny. Nothing’s funny anymore.
Mueller!!!!!!
8
This taste like butter.
Accepting information, legally or illegally obtained, about corruption in a competing candidates organization is not illegal. Paying for it probably is not illegal. For this to be illegal, they would have to show associates of Trump actively worked with some organization to plan or carry out the illegal acquisition of the documents or produce Facebook ads. After hundreds of hours listening and reading about this topic, I have never been explained what the crime anyone in the Trump campaign is being accused of. This is an example of what is meant by, there is no there there. I beg the Editorial Board or News Division of the NY Times to spell out exact charges which they believe Trump or members of his indicted for.
1
@Mike--Federal law prohibits a foreign national from giving anything of value to a campaign engaged in a U.S. election. It’s also a crime to solicit a foreign national to give anything of value to a campaign, or even to "knowingly provide substantial assistance" in receiving something of value. While illegal foreign contributions typically take the form of money, it’s possible a court could find that "information" satisfies the legal requirement if it’s considered valuable to a campaign. Legal experts so far are not in agreement about whether the law was broken, and not surprisingly, seem to have divided along partisan lines. Ultimately, it may be a judge that has to make the final determination.
7
@Mike
Do the words "from a foreign power" resonate with you?
2
@Mike
It is illegal to meet with a foreign government in order to obtain information about an opposing candidate in an american election. These people represented themselves as emissaries from a foreign government.
It is NOT illegal to hire someone to dig up dirt on a political opponent even if that someone talks to people in a foreign country. You are not, in that case, conspiring with a foreign government.
It is also illegal to obstruct justice, by say firing the investigator looking into what that foreign government was doing to interfere with our election.
You don’t have to be actively involved in illegally obtaining the information, you just have to be willing to get information offered to you by a foreign government. So...that’s what is illegal.
2
Excellent as always Mr David ! Please nudge Mr Seinfeld so that the best two comedic minds of satire can clearly be on the correct side of history.
May I be so bold as to suggest riding in a fire engine with a bloated warm plastic carton of orange juice.
2
Informed NYT readers, if this what you say it is (satire), I love it.
8
Hilarious! A little unfair, but that's what makes it funny. That and the jokes.
3
Some commenters don't find this even "vaguely funny". I think "vaguely funny" is a perfect description.
Still love Larry David. In or out of the closet.
3
@Paul J. Bosco It isn't even vaguely funny. Sorry about his demise, but David's attempt at CYE#2 fell flat as well.
3
We all need to laugh again and more often. Larry for President 2020. Make America Happy Again!
7
So we drove to this drive-in and she rolls over in her miniskirt and skates.
We: Two cheeseburger and coke.
She: No cheeseburger, only nothingburger.
We: Ok, two nothingburger and coke.
She: No coke, pepsi.
We: Ok, pepsi.
She: Here's your order; $15.76.
We: Only pepsi? We also ordered nothingburger?
She: Nothingburger is nothingburger.
And we all laughed our heads off cause nothing means nothing and we had everything---yes, everything---to lose.
2
Watch or read anything written by Larry David, as here, and it's obvious he has a keen ear for the absurdities, pretentions and sentimentality of American English that most Americans don't think to question. For example, in one of his films he takes aim at the banality and sentimentality of the American English word 'mom'.
David realises, as so many mainstream American reporters fail to do, that 'collusion' is a weasel word, a term deliberately used by Team Trump to suck the meaning out of Trump's misconduct, and to draw public attention away from the conspiracy to defraud the USA and from the obstruction of federal agents, which are at the heart of the Mueller investigation.
As usual, the NYT, WaPo, Reuters, and the big US TV Networks, for whom mere words apparently matter little, have let Trump, Guiliani and Sekulow get away with their obfuscation and prevarication.
It seems appropriate that an American comedian like Larry David, an attorney like Michael Avennatti, and an actress like Stormy Daniels, should do a better job of exposing the vices and foibles, the folly and venality of the great American showman, carnival barker and shyster who would be King, than does the fourth estate.
8
@Colenso
Agreed, and they still describe far-right reactionaries as "conservatives".
3
Excellent work getting the Yablonsky scoop. But the cliffhanger? What happened to Tiffany? Was she injured or, perish the thought, worse? Doesn’t anyone care about Tiffany?
16
I remember the NYT article a couple of years ago about Russians who worked in a government department that did nothing but have its English-speaking employees write comments in the NYT comments section (and other papers) taking pro-Russian position under names like Bob from Seattle. I wonder if they’d bother to write in about a spoof piece in the Times. I wonder if they think that Larry David is perhaps a Russian actor himself.
2
Hey Larry, you forgot the part where Akhmetshin and the other Russian met with Fusion GPS both before and after the Trump Tower meeting and the fact that Akhmetshin was linked to Fusion GPS and involved in a pro-Russian campaign in 2016 which involved lobbying congressional staffers to overturn the Magnitsky Act. This same Fusion GPS is the company that Hilary and her people hired to write the fake dossier on Trump. Sounds like Fusion and these Russians and the Clinton gang set up this Trump Tower meet as a trap and so far its working.
1
@Joe
You forgot to say "deep state", and is "Benghazi" still an operative Pavlovian trigger word?
Larry David probably doesn't need the money but he could have sold this to Trump who would publish it as the actual transcript and the base would lap it up. Sad
12
I believe every word of this. MAGA 2020!!!!!
4
Assume instead of Yablonski, you were a young FBI agent on assignment in the closet because a reliable informant had given your supervisor a batch of emails about a Russian meeting that’s going to go down in the Trump Tower. Russian lawyer meeting with campaign officials bringing highly sensitive docs that will incriminate Hillary. One campaign person said they would love to get this info. Potential Fed crimes: Russian lawyer not registered with DOJ and making a contribution with respect to a Federal election. Similarly a crime to solicit or accept that contribution. Your job is to observe and if you determine probable cause to jump out and make arrests. Through the peep hole you observe the meeting but hear nothing. You oberve the Russian lawyer hand docs to campaign officials. Question: Are you going to stay in the closet and scratch your head thinking about what to do or are you going to enter the room and announce “FBI. You are all under arrest?”
Best insight on Don Jr.'s , ahem, mysterious personality ever: 'Can't you put yourself in their shoes? Can't you...(begins to break down)
Laughed out loud, baby!
In the midst of one's daily dread and fatalistic approach to the hellish read of morning news, LD gave a much needed goose to the truth.
5
Why bother with going thru all the trouble of adoption when it's much easier to kidnap them?
4
Oh, don't cry, Don Jr, don't cry. Slightly borrowed from You've got Mail, but I'm weeping with laughter. Give Larry the Nobel!
2
Great job Mr David, but it makes me wonder whether the Romans had similar black comedy while Nero was fiddling.
102
@TDurk
Three of Rome's leading writers—the playwright and philosopher Seneca; his nephew, Lucan, who left an unfinished satiric epic about the civil war that left the Caesars in power; and Petronius, who wrote the Satyricon (see Fellini film)—were compelled to commit suicide under Nero. So …
4
@TDurk
No doubt Romans did. But not from a comedian of Mr David's stature and repute.
Because - surprisingly for a comedian - he lacked any street smarts or horse sense, since, after reading the piece, Nero's chief of staff, without troubling Nero, had him seized, bound behind a troika and dragged to death.
Yes, there was a constitution in those days but there was also a presumption of guilt for not amusing the emperor.
@TDurk I sure hope the Romans did.
Good work Steven, but I heard there are 18 minutes of blank/erased time in the middle? What happened?
1
I won't bother reading this even though I like Larry David. The reason is that I don't like to mix my comedy with my politics. That is the realm of the weak minded.
1
@DimitriT
This style of humor shows how insultingly ludicrous this Trump story is.
2
My hypothesis is that the first sign of evil is the loss of irony. For example, Trump's refusal to attend the White House Correspondents' Association struck me as far more sinister than many of his more celebrated tweets and gestures. So if you are a Trump supporter and you can't appreciate the humor in this piece, I similarly question your moral foundation.
8
@WR302
You might go to the videotape WR.
It was an abomination and attacks against anyone
even remotely associated with Trump. It was disgusting to watch.
NO REASON in the world for Trump to attend that
hatefest.
I always knew it was about the babies.
6
I for one am looking forward to sequels, there are so many topics ripe for satire - inaguration crowds, the perennial wall, good folks on both sides, that shove at first NATO, etc, etc. And Pence must be worth a season all by himself, especially for his oft ignored charge of the transition team - it takes some talent to assemble the likes of Pruitt, Zinke, Ross and Tillerson. And throw in Spicer and Sanders, you get a lifetime's work. Doonesbury where are you!!!
4
I think this transcript of the recording is fake news. It was electronically modified to remove all references to Russian puppies and kittens and replace them with the word "children."
1
Larry, don’t you know they were just acting? They saw you out there with your cleaning supply cart, and they concocted the whole scenario, to FOOL you, and it worked. The real meeting took place AFTERWORDS at the Trump Tower Surf and Turf Grill.
1
Larry David is joking with you all, he knows exactly why the meeting was held and what it was all about...after all...he was the reason Paul Manafort set it up and why Don Jr and Jared Kushner attended so that Larry could meet with them! That's right, Larry David was there!
This meeting was never about Russian adoption.
It was all about a Platypus Shirt.
Wasn't it Larry? The one and only Platypus Shirt belonging to Manafort that YOU borrowed from him months ago, but whenever he called you and tried to bring it up, (he Loves that Platypus Shirt and wanted it back badly...it goes so well with his Cobra Jacket.) you would promise to return it but it would never happen...and oh boy...you are a maestro at making excuses, all of them good and often funny.
But Manafort wanted his shirt back and to make sure,he organised a meeting at Trump Tower between you, Don Jr and Jared Kushner who you urgently wanted to meet (about investing in your new TV Show) So Manafort got the meeting setup but said you had to be wearing the Platypus Shirt as Don Jr and Jared had heard all about it and were very curious to see it. You had to have that shirt on.
Both Don Jr and Jared were great fans of Larry David so it was easy to set up the meeting as Manafort knew they would really love to meet Larry just to say Hi.
About that meeting:
Don Jr and Jared were running late for the meeting but
were RUSSIAN there.
They arrived and Larry HAD THE SHIRT ON "HI LARRY!" both said as introductions...
1
@Loomy
C'mon Guys and Gals! Was that so bad not a single person recommended it? I thought it was a humorous way to bring in (thanks to Larry David and a Platypus Shirt, a great way to say at the meeting:
-Were Russians there.
-Had the Dirt on Hillary.
Sheesh...what a tough audience!
Sorry Larry, but what really happened is no joke. Neither is this.
9
Kudos to L.D. for branching into satirical journalism for the Times. Just waiting for the next season of Curb. Cannot be too soon.
1
@Irwin The second season already came out and it bombed.... Did you miss it?
1
@willw
Sheesh - there has been 9 seasons so far. Comment not on what you appear to have no knowledge.. Its ok not to be a Curb fan - but saying it has "bombed" appears to be "Fake News"...
Larry, please explain to us why they have their right hands over their hearts. I know that's the kind of
detail that might bother you like it does me.
1
@Matt They have their left hands across their chest. But they are not on their hearts. Interesting.
2
I will be 80 years old in November. Larry is still my comic genius hero. Keep it up, Lair.
2
I didn’t think it was funny and I love Larry David. Does this exculpate Trumps?
6
Larry, thanks for a nice satire.
You can bet that Trump and his minions are hoping that the Americans will believe the fictional story that you satirized here and let this thorn on Trump's side go away.
But what Trump doesn't understand is that the real Trump Tower meeting on June 16th, 2016 was not a fiction like you described here. It'll rather act like an Achilles's heel to bring Trump's presidency down.
Just like most of us on the left,Mr. Mueller is quite sure that that there was a hanky panky situation going on in that said meeting on the 36th Floor of Trump Tower on a hot summer day in New York.
And the Special Counsel's office is treating the situations surrounding that infamous and unpatriotic meeting as one of the main pillars of their 'obstruction of justice' cases against Trump.
Many conflicting accounts of the meeting that Trump and his son Don Jr. gave about the meeting shows a pattern of behaviors on Trump's part which shows that he's a lot to hide.
From the numerous lies that Trump said about the 'meeting', first saying to the people that it was convened just to talk about 'adoption of Russian babies' by the childless American couples. Next he lied "I had no knowledge about the meeting but I wrote the email myself" on AF1 to the reporters just to save his son from 'obstruction of justice' case from Mr. Mueller.
Now we know that by changing his story so many times Trump helped Mr. Mueller build up a solid case against him from which he can never escape.
83
@ihatejoemcCarthy "Just like most of us on the left, Mr. Mueller is quite sure that that there was a hanky panky situation going on in that said meeting on the 36th Floor of Trump Tower on a hot summer day in New York."
Interesting that everyone on the right doesn't believe there was handy panky going on in Trump Tower. Either that, or their all true believers.
1
Agreed on the falsity of various and varying Trumpian accounts. Just to be clear, though (since the modifier above isn't especially so): Please keep in mind that Mr Mueller is not "just like most of us on the left." He is a Republican who served in the USMC (in Vietnam, no less) and who, in his continued service to this country, was previously appointed to direct the FBI by Geo W Bush. Given his career path, Mueller will no doubt dutifully perform his role. What remains to be seen, however, is where he perceives his ultimate duty lies.
1
@ihatejoemcCarthy
Now hold on there, Mr. youhatejoemcCarthy. I and 90 percent of my fellow Republicans KNOW this account tells it just like it was. Our President has told us so, and Devin Nunez says the President never lies. More important, Sean Hannity says so too!!! That's all any of us needs to know.
1
Yes! So funny! The adoption as deflection bit was really puzzling - couldn't they have said it was about expanding business or hotels or real estate - would have been more beleivable. Thanks Larry for the laugh first thing in the morning!
5
@Kat
But the earlier email clearly stated the meeting was about giving Don Jr dirt on Clinton and the Russian government the helping Trump campaign.
Keep trying Larry.
This one missed the mark a bit even though the topic is so rich with possibilities.
I like the tilt to political humor.
These guys deserve to be ridiculed - it reveals their lame attempts to bend the truth.
They are the jokers.
And only fools would believe them.
7
I think what Mr. David forgot was that the first time adoptions came up in regards to the meeting was when Trump was telling his son after the meeting what to say about it. Since Trump is proud of his worldly ignorance, there is NO way he knew about the adoption issue as related to sanctions against Russia. Finding out who told him to write about that will be the smoking gun Mueller needs.
12
The funniest part was when Don Jr began bawling about adoptions and how much it would mean to him and his Dad to see the adoptions happen. Funny/sad. Really just plain sad since we know in reality they don't care about children (migrant children in cages) and they never feel anything much less sadness or compassion.
The only crying going on in the Trump family is Don Jr crying because he knows he's next on Mueller's to-do list and President Donnie crying because he knows it's all closing in on him and he won't make as much money as he had hoped off this being President thing.
If only it had happened this way. If only we could trust this group to be honest and law abiding and ethical. If only they'd really put America first. Nice fantasy!
35
@Ellen Sullivan
Pressure must be mounting.
Donny has gone "dark"...on vacation with no cell phone access.
Wait for Trump Tower Meeting storyline # 4...
Obama made me do it!
2
I knew there had to be a secret missing tape and of course, a transcript thereof! Thank you, Larry, for revealing this extremely important evidence. BTW: Was your recording around 15 minutes?
5
The reactions to David's "opinion" remind me of the reactions of my fellow trainees at Jump School.
As we approached the Drop Zone, and the door was opened, some prayed and genuflected while others cracked morbid jokes. Some were almost paralyzed in fear.
My reaction was straightforward...."What was I thinking?"
NFE
5
With Larry's brilliance one might think he could score here, but the conundrum still remains: there is no quid pro quo. The Times can't offer it here, Larry doesn't get it, Mueller doesn't leak it, CNN doesn't define it, ABC, NBC, CBS can't come up with anything that looks like Trump did Russia favors for anything. As the sanctions increase, the weapons flow to the Ukraine, and the millions of government anti-hackers ply their trade, collusion cannot turn to conspiracy.
But hey, you're making hay.
2
@leftoright the "quo" desired was the lifting of the Magnitsky Act sanctions (thus the bogus reference to adoptions, directly linked to Mag. Act). General Flynn was in the process of cooking up exactly that "quo" when he was nabbed by the FBI in January 2017. So it didn't come to fruition, but not for lack of trying.
6
Conspiracy to defraud the United States is a crime. A quid pro quo is not required.
Obstructing an investigation into a potential crime is criminal, even if the underlying activity turns out to be innocent.
Money laundering, tax evasion and bank fraud are all crimes without statutes of limitation.
The administrations policies towards Russia prove nothing.
4
@leftoright: Who needs ABC, NBC, CBS if Trump comes up with the evidence of favoring Putin himself, multiple times? ABC, NBC and CBES should continue reporting that! You appear so far left of right you've become alt-right...
Thank you! Got a good chuckle out of me, an extremely rare occurrence these days while I read the morning news.
9
Who was the caterer that Don Jr hired? Why are there no Facebook posts with pics of the confusing salad spreads? Somebody had to have taken a picture. So many unanswered questions!
9
I laughed out loud at the adoption bit. :()-)
4
1. More, Larry. more.
2. It was Arnold P a r k e r..
3. One day, we will sit in history, talking about how great it was to
live in those 2.5-years-live of the Orange Caligula reign show.
4. More, Larry. more.
9
@Dror Marom It's Arnold Palmer. Named for the famed golfer who invented it (equal parts iced tea and lemonade.) Who is Arnold Parker? Don't answer that, I don't want to know.
2
Sorry. All this stuff about #45 stopped being funny a long time ago. Can't laugh it off.
15
@Timothy Wilson
Trump hates being ridiculed with humor.
Can't wait for SNL to start again.
I'm a plaque polisher at the Tower and sometimes work alongside Steve Yablonsky. I feel it's my duty as a citizen to say he hasn't told you all the truth. For one thing, he was actually fired for having a snort or three on the job, which probably explains why he was in the closet during that meeting. Chances are he was "resting", (as he likes to call it), and never heard a thing.
Obviously, Steve likes to make things up, and I'll grant you he's good at it, (if you catch him first thing in the morning). But if any of these people are considering using him as a witness they'd better think twice; he isn't all that convincing as the day goes on.
22
hahahaha! Too Funny
2
Veery funny! Thank you. Unfortunately we live in an age when too many people do not recognize satire, especially written satire. Someone is going to think this is the "truth" and spread it on social media, saying you are expert and this really happened.
13
@Michael Fishbein
I can't give up on layered satire and compromise my need for truth delivered through potentially brilliant , dry humor. Whether spontaneous while at a party or bar, or pored over on a couch in an apartment on the upper east side, providing ironic or obviously exaggerated treatment shows respect for an audience. No harm done if it goes over my head (this time).
The worst type of intellectual elitism is underestimating your audience. Timing, including choosing your audience, was just right with this work.
1
Hahah....yeah, that is exactly the opposite of what happened.
The only quibble I have from the Opposite Day theme is they probably did set up some food in the meeting room, and talked about the food for half the meeting. I can picture Don Jr. being more interested in the food than the meeting.
2
The REAL joke in all this is they got what was offered and STILL didn't get the "bombshell" they wanted. Hence, Guiliani's claim that you can't blame them because they didn't get what they wanted. You see, according to Guiliani the REAL crime was they couldn't find what they were hoping for so you can't call it a crime.
6
Thankfully, Don jr, Jared and Paul were all Boy Scouts, when growing up, who were taught to always do the right thing, god bless em.
5
I for one applaud the uprightness of Don Jr, as demonstrated in this transcript. I always knew he was a good egg.
2
Sorry, but Brett Stephens' recreation of the Helsinki meeting was so much funnier and even more ironic.
3
Stable genius Trump likely to tweet a thank you.
6
Sadly for me, Larry David is no longer funny. New season of curb was a complete dud and I’m one of these guys who would look eagerly forward to each new show. Same applies to Jerry Seinfeld post the Seinfeld show.
Almost a case of a one hit wonder for me and this article is proof positive that lightening doesn’t strike all that often.
10
@Paul agree, but Seinfeld is still hilarious...
@Paul
The funny thing is that collusion theorists are still penning their hopes on the Trump Tower meeting, which occurred more than two years ago. Each participant has delivered sworn testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee. No one has been indicted in connection with the meeting because there is no indication anything unlawful transpired at the meeting. People who think the Trump Tower meeting is a "smoking gun: should ask themselves, if Natalia Veselnitskaya presented "dirt" on Hillary Clinton, why didn't the Trump Campaign use it?
@William Case
Self-delusion and wishful thinking made Trump possible. How anyone can believe a thing said by a man who has spent a lifetime conning people for his own gain, boggles the mind. If he said that the ocean was salty, I'd check to see that my wallet was safe and seek independent confirmation.
Where was Trump when my friends and I were wading through the rice paddies of Vietnam? Oh, that's right, he had bone spurs that spontaneously disappeared when he didn't need them any more.
1
This would be funnier if it weren't for three things.
1) We know, confirmed by a tweet from Trump, that key members of the Trump campaign, including family members were willing and eager to conspire with a foreign power to win the election.
2) The level of stupid depicted here is, unfortunately, a little too plausible, given what we've seen from the administration to date.
3) There are Trump supporters out there who will take this as what actually happened - and besides Obama and Hillary are the real villains.
I can only imagine a later scene where Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, and Wayne La Pierre are meeting over a meal featuring thousand dollar bottles of wine, shocked and dismayed to discover that Russia - RUSSIA! - attempted to interfere in our elections, and the administration may be compromised.
McConnell: "Let me call Judge Brett Kavanaugh. He has experience with presidential misconduct. We need a hard line on this."
Ryan: "This is a constitutional crisis. I may have to put off retirement and postpone those tax cuts until this is taken care of. America needs our leadership. I'm just glad Ayn Rand isn't alive to see this. A billionaire selling out the country - who would have believed it?"
LaPierre: "Well let's hope it doesn't come to it, but this is why the NRA fights for the 2nd amendment, in case we have to take up arms against a corrupt government."
Ryan: "Think we should schedule joint House-Senate hearings, Mitch?"
13
@Larry Roth
Actually, this is funny because it is what Trump supporters think happened.
4
@Larry Roth
You may be on to something.
Instead of just criticising, the press might provide our Congressional leaders with the CORRECT response (constitutionally) to Trump's constant and ongoing attempts to "obstruct justice".
Finally- the trump tower meeting put to rest. Who knew the trumpies were such warm, compassionate individuals. Brilliant.
8
I don't know that there's anything particularly funny about treason. We need to stop normalizing the behavior of the crime family and associates we have running, and ruining, the country.
4
Only Larry David could lead me back to my long lost subscription to the Times! Thank you Mr. David.
2
Funny and creative story. However, the serious issue involved still puzzles me. Why should it matter whether truthful information about any of our political candidates comes from domestic or foreign source? Wouldn't it always be better to know the truth about our candidates? Should we prefer ignorance unless information comes from a domestic source?
If it were not for the truth revealed by foreign hacking of Democrat party headquarters computer, we would not have known about the corrupt commandeering of the Democrat nomination process by the Clinton team. The corrupt behavior of Brazil and Wasserman would have remained secret and they would have remained in key position to continue their corrupt efforts.
Another wonderful piece of satire. Congrats!
4
The magic here is that it took a comedian to bring out the truth that was hiding in plain sight all along--the truth that most of us actually knew at a certain level of consciousness.
5
Ultimately, Trump ended up 'adopting' a policy of lying, and like most adoptions, he kept the child and is watching it grow.
5
Like most Americans, adopting Russian children is my highest concern in life. I am relieved to learn that we all share this concern with Don Jr. and the president (since the meeting was his idea).
But, now I'm equally concerned about Tiffany! Was she rushed to the hospital by ambulance? How is she doing? Did she survive? Mr. Yablonsky, you left out the most important part of the story!!
23
Many comments regard "how am I supposed to know who Larry David is?" propose that this material somehow needs to be "labeled" as fake news".
Ever watch Jeopardy? No, ever take a trivia test? If you have you know that popular culture is a category for many of the questions. Jeopardy winners and people who score highly on trivia tests are generally pretty smart cookies. Some questions of general interest merely confirm awareness of what is going on "around us. Specialists in all fields tend to rank their fields as superior in the hierarchy of knowledge. Those who restrict their knowledge to say, only Science or The Arts, are hardly Renaissance material. Possibly, they could win a Nobel prize and fail miserably at trivia and jeopardy. They tend not to view it as a form of 'entertainment' and subject to the same vagaries as pop culture. The History of knowledge confirms the influence of "The Times" on theories in both the social and hard sciences as well as the subject matter of both fiction and non-fiction.
Larry David has appeared on Network and Cable television for nearly 30 years in cast and/or credits (including one of the most popular shows of our age). I would submit to your audience that it is the sum of all knowledge representing the entire spectrum of human inquiry that leverages the brain to posit the maximum number of questions that when the answer is known represent the true tenets of both investigation and discovery.
5
@Daniel King It's pretty obviously satire to most people but I don't think it would hurt anyone to clearly label it as comedy rather than an oped. Strictly speaking, it's not one
2
Yay! Larry's back.
"Yes, two beautiful daughters. The government take them for gymnastics." Still can't stop laughing.
But seriously, once again, Mr. David has pointed out what lengths team Trump will go to come up with the nonsense that we're supposed to believe- and then the story changes- and changes - and changes.
14
Thank you for the brilliant satire. To curb the pretensions of its leaders society likes nothing better than having a good laugh at them. Please keep it up.
15
All these comments, and no one has expressed any concern for Tiffany and those others whose lives were endangered by Mr. Yablonsky's negligence. Are they expected to recover?
4
The weirdest thing of all is that Trump and his people decided that “adoption” would make a good cover story. That shows how dumb they are.
Even a meeting about adoption is a red flag! It's an acknowledgement about colluding with the Russians — and doing their bidding. “Adoption” sounds like a benign matter until one understands all the links! It goes to the heart of Putin's killing of a tax accountant, the whistleblower, Magnitsky, who exposed misdeeds at the highest levels of Russian society.
As a result of his killing, the U.S. imposed sanctions on key oligarchs and government figures (the Magnitsky Act). In retaliation, Putin banned adoptions of Russian children.
So, any meeting to discuss “adoption” is actually about lifting U.S. sanctions, removing pressure on Putin and his cronies, and helping oligarchs, among them people who helped finance Trump, Manafort, etc.
The media and most columnists fall prey to this cover story, too —reporting it as if “getting dirt on Clinton” = BAD while “adoption meeting” = OK, no problem. In fact, both are bad and telling!
5
Giving Don jr way too much credit.
7
Pretty, pretty, pretty awful!
See what I just did there? I took a brilliant line and turned it inside out to mean the opposite. Just like Larry David did with his janitor piece here.
Brilliant satirists both of us are.
5
Larry! This was great!
We too have been disappointed by the adoption policies of Russia and many other countries. We wanted to assemble an "international family" - 10 kids maybe - from 10 different cultures. It was to be a social science experiment. We would have been on the cover of People magazine - or the National Inquirer at least.
Please ask Don, Jr. if he can help us out.
3
The graphic with the babies is the funniest part of this.
But, keep trying Larry!
5
Brilliant, like everything Larry D does. I agree that there's little humor in the news these days and most high profile politicians and pundits on TV news in particular, are boring dullards. There was a time when the likes of Art Buchwald, Erma Bomback, Russell Baker and Molly Ivins could generate enough laughs with their columns to drive even the most hard-core losers out of Washington.
10
I had to scroll up to verify who wrote this brilliant op-ed on the absurdity going on in America right now. Because, for a brief moment, I believed the great Kafka had come back from the dead.
Did he?
7
Larry David proves to be the least cynical among us with this imaginative piece! 4 Stars.
3
I do't like trump. But I think this is a good SATIRE ot a real thig. Should be o Colbert show.
1
The news media is obsessed with Trump and the Russians. That's all we hear and read about. There must be less depressing subjects out there. There is nothing funny about the situation or this contrived article.
5
@Clark Landrum Lighten up, man, if we can't laugh about the absurdity what's left to do?
2
@Clark Landrum, glad I’m not you.
I like how Rinat wants to sit in the big chair, has probably been thinking for days that he wants to sit in big Trump chair in big Trump building, asks Donald Jr. if he wants to sit in the big chair as a way of asking if he instead could sit in the big chair, then expresses that the big chair has met all of his expectations. Amazing show-don't-tell with stellar economy of language.
1
I knew it all along that Manafort has a heart. Left the campaign for a few hours to help make sure that orphans find a home. Paul, thanks for showing the true values of America. I've read that you give millions to charities too. Like most of us I suspect you get your taxes in long before the deadline. My heart swells at reading this piece of history by Larry David.
53
I laughed so hard I almost forgot the republic was collapsing. This is, in fact, very close to exactly what didn’t happen.
564
@Daniel van Benthuysen Great because the Republic is not collapsing, except in the fantasy alternative reality some live in.
1
Nyet, Steven is lying! I, Anastasia the former maid, was in the other closet! Why do people always want to believe men? There were several women from Russia at that meeting. And they were sincere in their efforts re infant adoptions. It was Don, Jr., and Jared, and Paul who wanted the scoop on Clinton. We Russians are innocent, only wanting the best for our ally America. We loved Hillary. We really did! They pleaded with my comrades to help them get their man in the White House. They offered money, lots and lots of money. So what else could be done? Natalia, Katya, and all said, "Okey, dokey... Because your hearts and pocketbooks are in the right place, we will help you. But we are very uncomfortable. After all, we Russians do not do things like this." Well, the rest is history. America got its "guy," and I got a promotion! You will find me at Trump Towers still but in the back office working the books.
Welcome back, Larry! I hope your pieces are the start of something new and wonderful. We need your humor and wit...a lot.
402
@Kathy LollL Really funny, Anya, actually better than LDs.
6
@Kathy Lollock Nicely done, Anastasia.
1
@Kathy Lollock "We loved Hillary. We really did!"
And we so wanted to spend a night in the Lincoln Bedroom.
This is such a fine piece of satiric writing. It's painfully funny, which pretty much describes the president, his administration, his nefarious associates and the rest of the lying liars who lie for a living. Instead of Hail to the Chief, I think the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme should play every time the president walks on stage. At least that way you'd know that what he was about to say was supposed to be a joke.
798
@gemli I try at all costs to avoid looking at or listening to #45, but when I inadvertently watch a few seconds, esp. of his rallies, it seems as if he is doing stand up for his base. He is all about entertainment. Let's give credit in our op ed pages to real entertainers such as Larry David. We need the levity.
17
@gemli
Is this close enough? I crack up every time...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v69rOJi8yik
4
@gemli It reminds me of the satiric writing style of Art Buchwald in the book "I Am Not A Crook", which came out in 1973 after Watergate.
8
This Russia hysteria is reaching a major crossover point of historic proportions. A pointless dangerous confrontation with Russia over relentless negative propaganda against Russia. A virtual economic declaration of war. Case and point, Ben Nelson's stupid accusation that the Russians had somehow corrupted the Florida voter rolls. Of course nobody in Florida knew nothing about this. This idle comment he has no basis for making. The US gov't and their news media allies have perpetrated a huge dangerous fraud.
6
The hacking Russia is doing to the US, both in the election arena and elsewhere, is designed to create chaos and damage our democracy.
It is Russia-Putin who has declared war.
We should be, and currently are, reacting to it vigorously.
@c harris
5
@c harris It's not Russia hysteria -- it's a precedented, perfectly predictable, and legally mandated response to Russia's recent aggressions and child-like denials of evidence often presented and processed by governments other than the US. As for the Florida case: whether it's a "fraud" remains to be seen -- there is evidence of overt electoral meddling in other US states, so it's not inconceivable. The only factor that makes any of this sem odd is Trump's relentless pro-Putin propaganda.
@c harris
By now it's become impossible to tell the difference between right-wing bluster and left-wing irony.
3
Mr L David it’s simply gold!
43
Thank you.
Brilliant.
This is why you're on the planet, Mr. David.
32
The president's team is so absurd that one might actually consider this piece as true journalism. I just wish that Mr. David would have referenced Paul Manafort's suits.
48
@Jay
I recommend that Mr. David have a look at the Manafort trial transcripts for getting in touch with his muse.
@Jay:. Spoiler alert!
I find it remarkable how many people take the time to post comments to let everyone know that they don't find this amusing.
Please ask yourselves... does anyone at all care even a tiny bit whether or not you appreciated the comedy presented herein?
Makes me think that the NYT should charge people a dollar to post a comment. If you wouldn't pay a buck to press send them you might consider not pressing it for free either!
71
@ys
We need to see them, to remind us that there is a large group of people that stand behind the current administration's ideology. And that's not funny
3
@USQ New Yorker I'm anything but a Trump supporter, but I do not find this funny in the least...
@ys
But this is the Times. Everyone is unhappy about everything!
2
Natasha: Oh boy, Boris. These guys even dumber than annoying Squirrel and Moose!
254
That’s “Moose and Squirrel”
Bring back tar and feathering. While I thought it a brutal practice, I understand now why it was so necessary...
29
This wonderful article proves their innocence. We were blind. - MAGA
18
First, I read the "opinion". When I came to the Janitor bit I realized it was satire. So I settled back and enjoyed. Then I opened up the comments section …..- and am stunned. Is everyone losing his or her sense of humor and / or the feel for satire? Seriously ? If so, what is left? Irresponsible? Has Trump managed to dumb down America to the degree that a satire like this needs to be labeled as such so everyone understand? No wonder every bit of news on TV needs a phalanx of pundits to explain what everything means. Again, I am getting worried about you, America .
238
@Wolfgang
Finally hearing from someone not standing deep "in the forest" is very refreshing. Thank you, Wolfgang.
5
@Wolfgang I love LD but this is not funny: at all.
1
@Mike
If people don´t think this is funny - that´s fine. What I am stunned about is that many readers seem to think the NYT acted irresponsibly to not mark this piece as satire. What is next? Mark a weather report about a Tornado with something like... "this is not an article about climate change" ...? (And btw, I don´t even know who Larry David is ...)
First off, I am an American Citizen and have better than an 8th grade education. Second; I accept this article as Gospel Truth. I know someone somewhere does have a full audio recording of the meeting and Mr. David has probably come awfully close to accurately documenting the meeting will all the nuances.
And I have some land land in Florida to sell.....
26
@David
If anyone DOES have a recording of this meeting, you can bet it was the Russians! And if so, it will keep Donald and his merry men in line...quid pro quo.
i like curb your enthusiasm, find it funny always. this? i didn't laugh once, didn't crack a smile once. just 'cause it's LD doesn't mean it's going to be funny (though i was expecting it to be). imho, this wasn't at all, nor clever.
these days, a little levity from time to time goes a long way, and would have been great. too bad this missed the mark (at least for me).
16
Satirical, yes.Funny? not really.
There is nothing humorous about a group of avaricious, treasonous men so eager to use any means to discredit a political opponent.
Worse,the lies that were bandied back and forth first denying the meeting then lying about its purpose.Every attendee deserves nothing less than a Federal prison sentence.
35
@Edward Calabrese
For adopting Russian babies?
Hilarious! Loved the part about chicken vs. tuna salad. They do look the same and sort of taste the same.
Folks, lighten up! We are going to need to laugh once in a while if we are to get through the Trump Reign of Error.
173
@Bystander..It's the mayonnaise. Even kelp tastes pretty good with enough mayonnaise. The "All American" white sauce.
1
Thank you Larry David. I knew this secret adoption meeting was Trump's idea. It all makes sense. Now we know where Eric came from.
97
It appears that most of the most popular comments here completely miss what this article is about. The point being made here is that no real dirt on Clinton was handed over because Don Jr. et all, could not guarantee reducing sanctions on Russia, or handing over Bowder to them, or meeting some other demand for the information swap to take place. It may not be high comedy but it makes it point.
12
Thanks, Ed! 2 lies in one! First the lie about no dirt provided (how could you possibly know?). And then putting that lie in LD’s mouth (keyboard). My guess (yes - guess) is that there was an envelope left with Jared or Donnie or Manafraud with very useful san discs or thumb drives. The Sunday after this meeting, Trump’s plans changed on a planned speech about HRC. Of course, my suspicions rely on Trump and his folks lying - but really, how could that be the case?
16
@Ed Clark Is this comment satirical? I'm getting lost with so much wit flying around. If it's not satire, do you think the Russians came to the meeting didn't know Trump is not president? Maybe the Russian coordinating the meeting thought they were arranging for a meeting with the Clinton guys at the Trump Towers? Why did they bother meeting with anyone since neither could guarantee anything? I'm lost in my own comment.
@Ed Clark
Primary sources are the meeting participants....they were all Russians or "wannabe" Russians. Those primary sources told secondary sources what happened at the meeting. The so-called president, trump, is a secondary source (only because he did not attend the meeting....but he KNEW about the meeting). trump said the meeting was about "dirt on Hillary". Your "defense" is "no real dirt". Check the Conspiracy Statutes....they committed a crime regardless of the "quality" of the dirt disclosed. Just this same there are about 10 secondary sources (the primary sources blabbed about the meeting) who were told what happened at the meeting and guess what....several of them have informed on the primary sources and have told Mueller what happened at the meeting. The lesson to be learned is: don't talk to Russians unless you want to go to jail. Good luck to you.
1
Darling, this ist Natasha. Za dirt was about laundry. Za sale of za old NYT building in Manhattan involving Kushner and billionaire buddie Lev Leviev. Yah, Don Jr., Kushner and Manafort met Veselnitskaya rep of Kremlin and Prevezon Holdings too. Leviev-- ist Preveson biz partner and $230 million NY real estate Russian treasury money laundering rock star too. Tankfully Trump gives zat Preet Bharara za boot and your general Sessions, such a pistol, settles for $6.5 mil. Why za drama when all your people have all za a**ses covered? And don't get me started on za cybersecurity angel.
42
Can’t wait to see if Trump or one of his aides take the bait and tweet ‘even Fake News NY Times Believes Meeting Was Just About Adoption!’ Satire being not their strong point...
241
@Barteke
You shouldn't tip them.
Pruh-iitttyy Guh-ood!
13
It is stunningly irresponsible of the NY Times to not clearly label this article as Fiction/Satire, or similar.
Does the paper just assume that everyone knows who Larry David is, and that it is impossible for a comedy writer to ever write a serious or factual article? Labeling it Opinion doesn't get one off the hook, the front page of the paper bullets "What Really Happened..."
Do I now have to triple check every article in this paper to see if it's factual reporting or satire?
"What's this 'Pentagon Papers' story? ..... Nah, I'll save the fiction stories till later, I'm looking for the news."
There is nothing wrong with publishing creative writing.... but LABEL IT AS SUCH!
19
In the words of the great John McEnroe...
YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS !!!
37
a tad hysterical --the NYT presumes its readers are savvy enough to distinguish between fact and fiction.
23
@Richard Luettgen
You know, Richard. Some of us actually just directly say what we mean, and don't have to couch ulterior motives behind fancy words. I wasn't being pedantic, as I don't think it's a minor matter to want truthful headlines from the NY Times.
It’s just not funny anymore. Never has been never was with all admiration for Larry David. It’s like the 1000 homes destroyed in the Yosemite fire. And President Compassion barfing about water rationing when there is no rain.
21
Again not funny.
32
Uh huh...the old Janitor In The Closet trick!
10
RUN LARRY RUN!!!
12
I thought this was hilarious and saw there were some comments but didn’t just want to add my “loved this” to them, thinking it went without saying. I was surprised to see though, that all the comments weren’t about how funny this column is, so I thought I’d add in my “loved this!” And I loved Mr. David’s last one too.
77
As we say in Yiddish: Ganook!
Enough already.
Less Larry David. More Mogen David.
12
Yes, I know it is satirical, but putting "that" in quotes but not "transcript" in quotes in the headline adds credibility to the "fake news" in the NYT stories.
5
Conspiring with Russians to get dirt on Hillary Clinton, destroy the sanctity of our elections and hence our democracy?
Was that wrong? Because if I knew that kind of thing was frowned upon ...
20
LD! My man!
12
Brilliant!
12
If only!
1
Finally. Donald J. Trump and his closest allies have been vindicated as real truth tellers and the fake media hoax has been exposed by no less than the courageous... fake media? And this has come to light in the pages of the... failing New York Times?
Wait. Does that mean that the fake media and failing New York Times are no longer fake nor failing? Help me out here. This is so confusing. Not only that, but this is happening right before the 2018 midterms. Do I vote for Donald Trump's cronies or not?
How can wrong be right? Who's right? and who's wrong?
Just goes to prove that when you solve one crisis you merely create another. I know I'll bring the power of statistical math into the process. I'll just toss a coin and won't have to worry about bothersome truthiness anymore.
16
@Robert
18 U.S. Code § 371 - Conspiracy to commit offense or to defraud United States
There are 25 indictments and 5 guilty pleas to this point in time. Hold on to your trousers....more to come.
Keep on ranting.
"Curb" was painfully unfunny. Mr. David's material has always felt like a naked emperor, except with people laughing because they were afraid of otherwise appearing foolish.
15
@John that’s a very broad statement just because you don’t find something funny!
16
@John Someone should've told me it wasn't funny! I laughed my head off at some episodes, smiled at others (sometimes embarrassed to see myself in them) and have always been in awe of Larry David's wit.
(Don't you love that comments in the Times are starting to look like Tweets?)
1
@John
John Barron or John Miller, KY?
Pretty, pretty funny.
17
Wow, a nicely written column:
Funny; Yes
Enlightening; Yes
Constructive; Yes
Clever; Very
On scale of 1 to 10; 6.
4
Ha, ha. As if the trumps - the anti-anchor babies from abroad family - were interested in adoption ... of anchors from Russia.
Hey, weren't the trumps against chain migration until earlier this week?
We need to dump this POTUS to the curb.
31
It is irresponsible of the New York Times not to label this piece as "satire" or some other rubric denoting that it is not based in fact, despite the cartoonish illustration. Not all readers know who Mr. David is, and even those who recognize the piece as humorous must acknowledge that its appearance in the otherwise serious and fact-based "Opinion" pages lend it an aura of truth that it simply doesn't warrant. Just as the NYT compromised its readers' trust by running columns by Bret Stephens and David Leonhardt about the 2020 presidential election (furthering the notion that journalists "pre-write" the news, as is the case with obituaries and award shows), this otherwise anodyne piece will feed into the perception of many news consumers on the right that news outlets are nothing more than opinion mills that qualify for Trump's "fake news" label.
18
@John Sullivan I really doubt anyone will take this for anything but satire. As little regard as I may have for the intelligence of much of the Tea Party, so-called populist, alt-right base of today's GOP, I don't believe they will be overly challenged to figure out that Larry David, if they don't know who he is, is using satire to present a political opinion. I'm sure if you researched the opinion section of even as serious a paper as the NYT, you would find humorous, even sarcastic opinion pieces in the archives here and there over the years.
32
@Barry Fisher
Point taken. But I worked at major daily newspapers on both coasts and we always labeled whatever was not hard news as "analysis" or "commentary" or "satire," even if it appeared in the op-ed pages. The advent of single pieces such as this online, disassociated from the printed opinion pages, gives the impression of being a story that runs in the NYT news pages, which is quite a different animal. It's a small, yet important, step that the editors of the NYT can easily take to differentiate news from opinion, the blurring of which gives Trump et al. the easy fodder they require to brand real journalism as "fake news."
@John Sullivan
Mr. Sullivan, You are placing your argument on the lowest common denominator: those who can't and those who won't think. Both. Start your premise from the idea that a lot of Americans do quite well with reading and writing. You have fallen into the 'fake news' trap. Let your faith in democracy lift you out of your fears about who is and who isn't discerning enough to see this piece for what it is.
Pretty..pretty-good!
Brilliant essay when one considers in its entirety and takes a minute to think about it. People panning your essay probably don’t do either with Trump.
11
What is going on down south? First, you elected this fool that wanders around the globe causing chaos. And now, you can't even appreciate satire about him. Folks! Listen! This is funny! I know you're been relying on Canadians to humour you for decades now, but you really need to start doing this by yourself. This is a great start. Enjoy it!
335
@Kelly Logan I don't think you'd think it was so funny if this was about Canada. I think we're all just so sick of Trump and his corruption here in the U.S., that many of us have lost our sense of humor about him. Although I must admit that seeing him painting his face more and more orange like a circus clown often makes me chuckle.
1
@Kelly Logan Thanks, well said! Many, many of us "south of your border" need old-fashioned wit so much now. It is a sense of humor that propels us through life, that and love... Peace!
3
Like everything Trump, this too is not funny.
18
Corrupt buffoons run our government and satire reads like documentary.
56
When satire writes itself, shouldn't it be pro-bono?
1
Geeze, Larry David! You'd think people would have a sense of humor about humor... but no, everybody's a critic! It's obvious from some of the comments that some people take humor very, very, seriously... and some people wouldn't know humor if it jumped on their arm, did the fandango, and squirted cider in their ear. Yet they are the very people who critique and criticise!
Nevertheless, not enough cream pies. Needs clown on unicycle. Where is cowboy with humorously large hat? The Dali Lama of Texas is missing. Less jugglers, more poodles in tutus. More borscht. Borscht is a funny word. Borscht. Borscht. Borscht.... see? Funny!
Or to put it another way, on a scale of one to ten: X
42
@Art Likely
If you or anyone else thinks that the takeover of this country by the extremists, who not only talk out of both sides of their mouths, who ram their hate for humanity down everyone throats, then move to Russia, join the ranks of Putin/Trump worshipers. There is nothing funny about the state of this country at the present time.
3
Don Jr: Thank you Kimberly, for ADOPTING me.
2
I think Larry just missed an opportunity to coin a brand new term: the "cut and hack!"
1
I am sorry but how is this funny? I get the irony, but I though op-eds are supposed to have serious sarcasm that offers insight not sitcom buzzlines that are appropriate for a show about "nothing".
11
I think I get why Mr David wrote this - walk with me here: Truth is stranger than fiction, so this is the really dull fiction as a foil. In other words, the Trumpian reality is so insane, the new entertainment is to write a straightlaced, prosaic version of the adoption tale.
Did I get it right - do I win anything?
9
Genius in that it shows what decidedly would be a farce were it true.....and hilarious to boot.
40
Some folks will joke about the decor as the house burns down.
7
Quite funny. It must be nice, it must be nice--to have Washington [and these guys] on your side.
2
Chicken salad and tuna salad really do look awfully lot alike...
21
I laughed, so it must have been funny. Some of the comments are just as funny.
It's great to get to laugh under the circumstances. Gallows humor.
33
Nicely written, but if fantasy just stop it!
As "opinion" these facts read as "fiction", to some--but not all.
People are enough confused.
Front news opinion "dialogue" about serious subjects now in play is misplaced. D
4
I have never found Larry David funny, and was among the rare people who did not find Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm funny. I hoped this would change my view as I could use a laugh about this caricature of an administration. But this is not witty or clever at all.
7
@Northstar5 Years of either Curb or Seinfeld and you never found either funny? I suppose a few found The Beatles overrated too.
16
@Steve
A group of foreign students once asked me to explain Seinfeld, which was never syndicated in their country.
They understood it was a TV sitcom and it was supposed to be funny because of the laugh track.
But they didn't find it funny and the humor was inaccessible. Finally the student who had been in the US longest said she didn't find it funny because most Americans she knew were just like the characters on the show except for Kramer and Newman. She said they were just self-centered Americans who talked too loud and were obsessed with trivia.
I changed the topic.
2
@SteveI know, I am one of the few who didn't get those shows. Now and then they made me mildly smile (I watched when friends had TV on). I find lots of other stuff funny, and the 1990s were a golden era for sitcoms. I just don't get that kind of observational humor, I guess. I like wit and clever banter. I also do not understand why anyone thinks Kathy Griffin is funny. I do not find her even remotely amusing or talented.
This piece (and an earlier one) by Larry David is not funny. I cannot imagine it would have been published anywhere if it weren't written by someone already famous.
Not really high grade humor here. It might even have been funnier if someone said "we want to keel moose and squirrel".
3
Thank you Larry David. Humor is the only way to deal with this ridiculous situation. Now if only we could get the reporters at White House press briefings to burst into raucous laughter when Sarah tells one of her whopping lies.
41
@zebra123 I thought maybe Natalia had the Kirwood Derby.
@zebra123, SHS's whoppers'd have them rolling in the aisles. Rolling.
1
Yup. That's just how it happened. I'm sure of it. Meanwhile 12 Russian intelligence officers posed as an election vendor and sent more than 100 phishing emails to elections officials in a number of Florida counties in 2016 and that activity reportedly spiked in the first week of November when Florida voters were already engaged in early voting. Did those Russian intelligence operatives penetrate the Florida election apparatus just to say hello? Or did they manage to alter enough ballots to push Florida's electoral votes onto the Republican ledger?
7
@Ellen Freilich
And it is ongoing as the current Gov. of FL denies it ever happened at all. Wonder how 2018 will be looked at in retrospect! Hope there are still enough honorable civil servants to preserve our electoral process and understand electronic intervention. I say go back to paper ballots!
So refreshing! Keep 'em coming
6
Too much mayonnaise is my guess. They do it with egg sandwiches too.
79
Dear Mr. David: You're terribly funny on TV. But this is pure kitsch. It ain't got that sting. But it might be minimalist shtick, much like a show about nothing. You'er going after rhino with bird-shot as the locals say. Bland, sir, very bland.
16
This was great, hilarious---its absurdity was accomplished simply by trying to assume that 1) the "adoption" coverup story was factual and 2) Manafort, Trump jr. et al. were capable of simple basic decency. The result: a well deserved
takedown, an insightful, however brief, tour de force. Bravo !
60
George Wylesol's illustration puts the funny in Larry David's piece. Combo made me laugh. (I cry a lot these days. Every laugh counts.)
5
Sorry, Dana Milbank of the Post comes up with much better satire than this. David is a great writer, but this comes up flat. Satire has to be farcical but close to the truth. No way would the American delegation present find any moral high ground. I can't laugh at that turnaround.
8
@Al Singer
Agreed. I always look forward to Dana’s columns. I was hoping for a laugh here, but. ... meh!
4
Larry David. Thank you sir....Bea U TIFULL...
25
Wow, incredibly bad column.
Funny: No
Enlightening: No
Constructive: No
Clever: No
On a scale from 1 to 10: 0
210
@David Greene
So you think it really was about infant adoptions?
8
Though it points out how ludicrous the Trump defense is
4
@David Greene
A Nothingburger - confirmed by your astute evidence! Thank you!
1
Masterful irony or I am a silly idiot that loves Larry David's......? eyebrows?
6
Oh you mean they really cared about adoptions? What an idiot I've been to believe they wanted dirt on Hillary.
62
Too bad Suzie couldn't talk to all of them!
23
Elaine & Suzy.... Suzy & Elaine...
@Jim Wolf -- yes, 'Suzie' really put some teeth into her biting humor.
1
Did I miss something?
21
@Chuck Yes you did.
Larry David can easily beat the Trump/Russia goliath.
1
You should write a comedy show David. Larry? David. Whatever.
16
WHAT'S. THE DEAL. WITH THESE RUSSIANS?
14
this is fake news, the talks broke down when someone on the american side put out veggies with russian dressing.....who does that??
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@SBLA
Double-dipping did them in - it was really good Russian dressing.
5
Really funny! If only those Russians had not disclosed that the DNC had the fix in for Hillary, our democracy would be secure. Let’s continue to focus on the Russians for interfering in our elections by not exposing corruption in an even-handed manner! That makes sense in the current atmosphere on insanity. Will the press ever see the light? I have my doubts ....
3
Clinton got millions of more votes than Sanders in the primaries. What part of democracy don't you understand?
1
If only!
3
143 Larry
1
Thing is, to true Trump acolytes, this is what they'll think happened, particularly since it ran in The NYTimes.
108
@Yuri Asian they'll never know as they are not NYT readers.
Yablonsky? What is that, Belarusian?
5
I was also hiding in that closet during this meeting and I do not recall a Mr. Yablonsky in there with us. It was just me, my girlfriend Natasha, my wife, and my wife's divorce lawyer. All of them, except me, Russian. I wasn't suspicious then, but I am now. Why so many Russians? Why did they call each other comrade? Why do I have to pay so much child support even though our son is 36 and gainfully employed as a full colonel in Russian military intelligence? Questions I should have asked. If only I had retained a lawyer of my own, but my wife had assured me it would be an amicable divorce. "No need for you to blow more money on another lawyer," she said. And my girlfriend agreed. And now she's dating my wife's divorce lawyer. I hate to say it but I think they were colluding, just like the idiots in the conference room.
105
@Andy, Harascho, Tovarich! byt next time don't trod my toes. And you're better off without either of them
2
@Andy
Ha! yours is better, funnier than Larry's stale schtick. Congrats!
4
@Andy This is like an episode - ok, a season - of "Shameless."
1
I have no idea whose decision it was to bring "LD" on board, but I must say, it was pretty, pretty, .. pretty good.
115
Could be an episode of the ancient John Cleese smash hit Fawlty Towers. ¿Donde esta, Miguel?
14
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.
217
I could barely curb my enthusiasm as I started to read this, but then my interest soon turned to disappointment. By the end, I was tempted to call the FBI myself to report a crime scene – a cold-blooded murder of comedy on the op-ed pages of the NYT! This isn’t even remotely funny – if it’s meant to be satirical – I’m sorry I don’t get it. Maybe, just maybe, I don’t find a criminal conspiracy to defraud the United States – by a foreign adversary in collusion with a U.S. presidential campaign – funny! Sorry, Larry, I’m not laughing until we get to the truth, i.e., what really happened at Trump Tower, and justice is served!
85
@Jack Nargundkar I don't think it was meant to be funny in the way you expected. I saw it as meant to demonstrate how absurd the Trump camp's description of the purpose of the meeting (adoption) was. When you read the script, it becomes more apparent.
18
@Jack Nargundkar
The reason for it is NOT funny. But it was a fun way to throw the whole stupid farce into the spin cycle of sarcasm and wring out the idiocy from the mush.
7
@Jack Nargundkar. Sadly, Jack, both you and Larry are right. Meanwhile chaos reigns supreme.
It's pathetic how hilarious this is. We are whistling past the graveyard now, humor being the last foxhole of the deceived enabler. Might as well laugh. Thanks, Larry.
158
I do believe this was written sarcastically!
1
@Ted Steves
NO!!!!! I'm shocked. (or schlocked)
3
@Ted Steves
It was written sarcastically. The problem is that the actual reporting on the Trump Tower meeting is way funnier.
When truth is stranger than fiction, satire isn't.
7
Better than his last effort
5
Is normal day in Russia.
10
If only....BRILLIANT!
8
Funny stuff. Keep it up.
5
Now it all makes sense. Placing Jared in charge of the new Trump Commission to Save Adopted Russian Babies from Gymnastics Camps, Don Jr.'s sad divorce (totally not his fault!), all of it. And I knew Manafort was trustworthy. Anybody who dresses in lizard skin and works for Trump must be. Thank you LD, for unearthing the alternative facts.
151
Wonderfully well done, but then so was the Producers.
These people conspired with a foreign power to steal the election and are causing people to suffer and die.
In other words: too soon. Let's at least wait until they're out of office until we make light of their very serious crimes.
1
@Todd
Nonsense. Humor is most needed at the worst of times.
11
This is not very funny. Larry I hope they are not paying you for this.
43
I'm not sure why the NYT keeps providing a platform for Mr. David's flatfooted satires on the Trump Presidency. I slogged through the previous one hoping that it would become funny at some point. The same thing here; now, though, with a sense of embarrassment. It's kind of like reading Woody Allen's (admittedly rare) Op-Ed contributions over the past few years: Remembering "Without Feathers" and really, truly, wanting to laugh, but unable to, and then feeling sad. I remember early "Seinfeld" and early "Curb Your Enthusiasm," and I am sad. I do not believe that satirists of his (and my) generation are adequate to the task of this horrible new world.
33
@Wuddus-- Larry gets his NYT Editorial legs, he's gonna tear the cover off it. Sinfield #1 (and 2,3,4, etc) were not great, in the beginning, either.
1
It's too bad this is not what really happened.
4
In Soviet Russia, comedian laughs at life. In America, life laughs at comedian!
11
Not funny enough after promising start. Perhaps we are supposed to find it hilarious to imagine Don Jr. understanding federal election law.
Preposterous. That’s a bigger joke than Don Jr’s concern for parental longings.
It seems most ridiculous to ignore how unstealthy the Russians were- as though the FSB wanted to leave a trail of evidence to keep Trump Sr on thin ice.
11
Finally, now we know exactly why Trump is in Putin's pocket: He's just so utterly embarrassed by the hugely faux pas behavior of his family in the presence of generous Russian-agent guests at his Tower.
I mean, really -- they offer you dirt, and you push a plate of tuna salad (or was it chicken?) in front of them! These guys no nothing, squat, about international relations. Vlad must be really mad. I can understand why Don wants to offer NATO's demise on platter. It's the only way to save face.
24
Trump Jr. testified under oath that he attended the Trump Tower meeting in the expectation that Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya would present documents incriminating Hillary Clinton No one has been indicted in connection with the meeting because accepting incriminating or disparaging information about a political rival from a foreign national is not illegal. But as it turned out, Veselnitskaya had no incriminating information on Clinton to offer, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter either whether Trump knew about the meeting in advance either, since the meeting was not unlawful.
Trump’s original assertion that the meeting was primarily about orphans was true. Veselnitskaya presented documents she said proved the Magnitsky Act is based on false testimony. Russia responded to the Magnitsky Act—which imposed sanctions on Veselnitskaya’s corporate companies—by banning U.S. adoption of Russian children. Veselnitskaya told Trump Jr. the Trump campaign should make the act’s impact on orphans and childless U.S. couples a campaign issue.
All participants in the Trump Tower meeting—including Veselnitskaya—gave sworn testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee. They all testified the meeting was mostly about orphans and the Magnitsky Act. People who doubt their testimony, should ask themselves, “If Veselnitskaya provided “dirt” on Hillary, why didn’t the Trump campaign use it?”
4
@William Case: Except offering, accepting *or even soliciting* any "thing of value" is illegal.
52 U.S. Code § 30121
Look it up.
A "thing of value" -- dirt on Hillary -- was offered by a foreign national. That's all that's required.
It actually doesn't matter if the "thing of value" exists or not, or whether it was exchanged or not. The code is perfectly clear: merely offering or soliciting is enough.
Which, of course, is exactly what makes this satire so funny. Any person even trivially educated in the US election code, and certainly any educated person, knows this, and would have done *exactly* what "Don Jr" does in this fiction.
30
@John Killian
The Federal Election has a convenient web page that explains what counts as “some of value” in campaign contributions. Incriminating information about a political rival does not fit the definition. The page, titled “Type of Contributions” is at https://www.fec.gov/help-candidates-and-committees/candidate-taking-rece...
According to the Federal Election Commission, “Generally, an individual (including a foreign national) may volunteer personal services to a federal candidate or federal political committee without making a [illegal] contribution. The Act provides this volunteer ‘exemption’ as long as the individual performing the service is not compensated by anyone.”
The Trump campaign did not pay Natalia Veselnitskaya for information. However, the Clinton campaign has admitted it paid Christopher Steele—a foreign national—to produce the Steele Dossier and through Steele it paid Russians officials and intelligence operatives to shovel dirt into the dossiers. Isn’t that funny?
https://www.fec.gov/updates/foreign-nationals/
@William Case
Yours is almost as good a satire as LD's. Especially the clueless piety of "Veselnitskaya told Trump Jr. the Trump campaign should make the act’s impact on orphans and childless U.S. couples a campaign issue."
6
That special insight we've come to know and love.
4
Ouch. While the fantasy is nice, it's sad that you cannot even imagine the meeting this way. The shouts and jeers of the various hate rallies still echo. When protestors shouted at Trump entering the White House after he got back from his trip abroad, "Lock him up!", you could see him freeze for a second. Never in the world did he imagine that anyone but Hillary Clinton or his selected targets could be attacked in that manner.
What an innocent world it would have been if the meeting had been about Russian adoptions rather than conspiracy against the United States.
6
I absolutely love Larry David and was looking forward to his next opinion piece. Be that as it may, even though I understood the dark humor, I don’t find this funny at all. Too many implausibles. Don Jr. being the voice of reason? I don’t think so. If someone can explain to me why this is funny, I’d really appreciate it.
10
Not very funny. Neither was the previous one.
37
I know this is an attempt at irony but as much as I love and respect Mr David’s comic genius , this is not funny . I hate to say this but it’s true .
28
@Robert Flynn Johnson......but in these awful times, a little credit for the effort, no?
1
@Robert Flynn Johnson Hey, Robert. I thought LD’s piece was hilarious. I am sorry you disagree, but comedy, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Take my advice to live a happier life: If you don’t have something nice to say, best to keep your opinion to yourself.
3
every now and then, even a comic genius
throws in a dud.this ,unfortunately, is one
of them.it isn't even vaguely funny and
makes no sense at all.then again, with
Trump in power, maybe that's the point.
46
@Frank I was sure you hadn't understood the piece. But then your last sentence appeared with a commodious "then again" and undercut the strident quality of your initial reaction. And then I saw what your note really was: a perfect example of how satire works.
I'm sure that if I were in a better mood this would be amusing. But it stopped being funny a long time ago.
39
The investigation about nothing does stand right up there with the shows about nothing. Thank you Larry for completing the circle for us.
6
I don't know where Mr. David found this transcript, but it is powerful. You can really feel the turmoil Jared and Don shared. But they are good Americans, they kept the meeting focused on Russian adoptions, an issue important to all of us.
271
@J Perfect response, bravo!
1
I'm glad to know that Don Jr. cries at the thought of adopted babies. Wondering if he also cries for the dead tigers and giraffes he trophy hunts. I'm also reminded of the scene from Shawshank Redemption when the seasoned convict bet on which of the newbies will be the first to cry. You get the idea.
40