Throwing out cookbooks that you've already purchased or kitchen equipment that you've already spent your money on to protest illegal, bad behavior on the part of the men who wrote the books and/or lent their names to the kitchen equipment makes about as much sense as those on the other end of the spectrum who destroyed their Keurig coffee machines because of some offense Keurig committed.
You've already spent the money. What's the point of this protest? The only person being harmed financially is you.
Not buying cookbooks, kitchen equipment in the future or ceasing to eat at their restaurants, OTOH, is a much more pointed form of protest. And effective.
Sorry, but I don't get the author's point about the frog story. Any young man in the same position would have been subject to the same behavior from his co-workers. It's a form of hazing. I hope you're not suggesting that Ms. Des Jardin's gender should have exempted her.
Still, it was a very cool move. And a good story. Brava!
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@laurence
Tracy des Jardins says it all and says it right.
“We’re not past it by any means,” she said when I called her to talk about the frog story recently, “but it’s time to focus on the people who are doing it right. And there are plenty of them.”
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"pervasive sexual harassment weaves through issues of class and race, sexual orientation and gender. " No truer words have ever been spoken. Women and minorities have succeeded and failed at the mercy of powerful male leaders for centuries. And that is not a sexist statement, it is merely a statement of fact. It is not an indictment of all men, it is merely a statement of fact. Those that become powerful have a tendency to abuse that power and abuse the people that they wield that power over. Maybe it is human nature.
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The generational divide of older women who "toughened up" and put up with what younger generations are calling unacceptable, sexist, bullying behavior exists in workplaces outside the restaurant world. From the younger side of the generational divide, these elders' insistence that we middle-aged feminists are unrealistic or hysterical perpetuates the myth of exceptionalism and individualism as the only means to success, and undercuts a new (or revived) movement aimed at asking everyone to behave like a compassionate, thoughtful grown-up.
Just because it was OK 40 years ago doesn't mean it's OK now. The right to a divorce, to own separate property, to be free of marital rape, to have one's own bank and credit accounts-- are all "feminist" agenda items that have only been institutionalized in the law since the 60s. The insistence that younger folk are just blowing things out of proportion is as old as woman and man kind-- that doesn't mean that it's right.
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"Should home cooks throw out the cookbooks from chefs exposed for regularly grabbing and propositioning women? What if the chef is facing sexual assault charges?
Should you make a reservation at a restaurant where blatant sexual harassment or assault allegedly occurred? Should chefs who have committed harassing behavior that might be considered low-level piggishness be allowed to continue their careers? Or are they as bad as chefs accused of rape?
Is reformation, whether for a high-profile chef or a low-level bar manager, even an option?
And when does the sexualized camaraderie that many people in the restaurant business enjoy cross over into harassment?"
You're over-thinking this--way, way over-thinking this.
I appreciate Ms. Des Jardins' attitude about not being past this, but about it being time to focus on those who are doing it right--"and there are plenty of them." We've had so many stories about this now. Could you not explore the lives and work experiences of the good people for a change? That could be inspirational. Me Too has descended into unmitigated miserabilism.
Could someone kindly explain how the frog story is sexual harassment? To my confusion, there is not even a hint of how or why it could possibly be harassment in the story, as though it was self-evident.
@neal: I inferred that the boys' club figured a woman would be too squeamish, and perhaps their technique of killing the frogs was increased in its 'ick' factor, both in order to repel her, thus creating an "I told you women couldn't take it" effect. Yes, hazing is a fact in professional kitchens, but when a gang of males watch and / or construct a hazing for a female, sexism is generally an added element.
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Until women refuse to work at establishments like Hooters, Coyote Ugly, and the like they won’t make the ground they should. If you want to portray yourself as just a sexual object in bars where drunk men go to ogle you, and not a person then you don’t deserve respect. I’m not saying anyone should ever be harassed but that these places and gentlemen’s clubs should not exist. The women that work there are saying it’s okay to treat me like a sexual object plain and simple.
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The problem is that you people are too separated from nature. In the wild, males will often go to extreme lengths in order to procreate....why would we expect human males to be different....they are simply trying to do what it takes to get it done....natural, organic, normal....and I know we should be more evolved than this, but we are still very animalistic in many areas...sure, some men are animals....but so are some women....
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The author says she views the frog's legs story as a "blatant example" of sexism but does not say why. In what ways was 19-year old Traci treated differently because she was a girl?
The author also provides no support for the contention that the road to success for "all women chefs" requires additional agility or toughness. What exactly made this a "tale of exceptionalism"?
These are fine opinions to have but a critical reader simply can't except them unless the author provides convincing evidence.
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@Nat - Out of 800 women, only one, a 92-year old former food critic said she'd not been sexually harassed in the restaurant business.
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Funny, if someone wearing a million dollar necklace got drunk at a party and was robbed, we'd say the wearer was stupid and partly to blame for not acting responsibly. The rapist of a drunk woman at a party is still a rapist, but the woman bears some culpability for not treating her body responsibly.
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@fireweed This comment is infuriating. I've never heard that a person is responsible for being robbed because he is drunk. I don't care what a woman is wearing, who she had sex with in the past, how drunk she is, what she does for a living: it is not her fault if a rapist decides to sexually assault her. It's attitudes like yours that prevent people from coming forward and reporting sexual crimes.
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@rls What's infuriating is your failure to appreciate nuance. The victim of a crime (any crime) is certainly not responsible for the crime itself but will always bear responsibility, for example, for exercising bad judgment or taking insufficient precautions when necessary.
If you accept that crime (theft, murder, rape -- crime of any kind) is a regrettable but inevitable part of our society, then the best that anyone can do is be prepared.
Whether I flash fancy jewelry on the beach or choose to keep it locked in the hotel safe, I might still be robbed of it regardless. The robber may still responsible for the crime, but I am responsible for my choices and my behavior, and some of those behaviors will garner less sympathy than others.
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@Nat Except you can't choose to leave your body behind in a safe and go out without it. One is stuck carting a female body around 24/7 - and while people might (unfairly) quibble about clothing choices and other side factors, they aren't the essential physical element being targeted. And acting like women should figuratively lock themselves up in safes (to stick with the jewelry analogy) is about as reasonable as asking potential robbery victims to jail themselves as a security measure.
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Some people want to work in the food industry because they like customer service and need the money. They should not have to put up with unwanted sexual advances, touching, and comments about their appearance. And they should not have to suffer social and professional retribution when they do not buy into the “culture” of the restaurant business. They do not deserve to be shamed or casually dismissed when they stand up for themselves. Everyone deserves the opportunity to make a living without the threat of sexual harassment lurking around the corner. This needs to be written about and I thank you.
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What about those working in gentlemen’s clubs where food is served? How about Hooters and similar places? I’m asking honestly as I believe many of these women are ok being treated this way for the money.
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I’m a middle-aged man who hasn’t worked in good service since high school. I have very little personal experience with anything like the harassment often described. But I think about it in terms of management more generally. I have had employers sand bosses that were very positive and supportive. I’ve had a few who were aggressive, bellicose, and sometimes abusive, to the point of shouting and insulting and on one occasion, even physically confrontational. And I always wondered why that particular style of management was necessary. For me it’s not a question of where to draw the line; it’s a question of how to make an organization run effectively. There are doubtless many ways to do that without resorting to dreadful behavior. It’s hard to lay a standard on a person who is not only in charge but also the chief owner of the business, but if this abuse is to be effectively addressed, the conversation needs to happen. Nobody can expect to be free of pressure or stress in their workplace but we can surely agree that nobody should have to endure outright abuse.
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Certain industries are more "Boys Clubs" than others and the restaraunt industry needs a good hard looking at. From women enduring harassment because they're working for tips, to the kitchen where our culture of 'celebrity chefs' laudes many many men and ignores the work of women. Thanks for digging into this!
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Having people torture and slaughter animals in an untrained and inhumane way is the real crime.
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all you have to read is bourdains "kitchen confidentials" it makes things clear in a restaurant's kitchen way.
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wondering if women restaurant owners or executive chefs are ever brought to task for similar behaviors with their staff. both men & women? I imagine there must be some incidents & wondering why no one has stepped up & mentioned them?
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@bob waks: Maybe you are new to following this topic. There has been tremendous backlash against April Bloomfield, Ken Friedman's former business partner, on the order of "How could she have let the behavior continue?...that makes her complicit." And also against Gabriel Hamilton, who is taking over Spotted Pig, for her basically saying Business is business.
Then again, the backlash has come most vocally from other women chefs and restaurateurs--who still lack outlets through which their concerns can be heard. So you could easily have missed it, unfortunately.
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@bob waks I once read that the rate of sexual harassment by powerful women (or powerful gay men) committed against their male subordinates is roughly the same as the rate of sexual harassment by powerful men committed against their female subordinates, but the reason it seems like so much less is because there are correspondingly fewer women and gay men in positions of power. For example, if 40% of male CEOs are sexually harassing women (I completely made that number up, it's just an example not a statistic), about 40% of female CEOs are sexually harassing men. It's just that there are so many fewer female CEOs than male CEOs that it skews our perception.
All that said, I cannot remember where I read this tidbit, so I cannot speak to its accuracy beyond the fact that it seems to make sense.
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@Sam Rosenberg It's neither true nor does it make sense, actually.
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Pleeeeze, ze food bubble is enough already! So she beat the frogs to death instead, so what? The food industry/culture has choked on itself and mutated into a reflection of the culture at large. Fat, self-obsessed, insular. This is not a pleasure machine as it should be. If it weren't for the weird celebrity making aspect of the industry, the offenders wouldn't be known to us. Now, we can try them twice, maybe more. But it all collapses upon itself to further no good except astronomical prices for the pleasure of dipping a toe in to dine out.
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And gods help you if you actually work there to make the food, and expect their celebrigreen to trickle down as anything but a sub-minimum wage check with (stolen!) tips.
Hell, at least McDs either pays the least they legally need to, or shoves 'em out the door for a robovendor.
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Sexual harrassment is nothing compared to live animals being cut in half. That's the real scandal. That's torture.
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