Neuticles for an elephant? This makes no sense. Elephants do not have a scrotum because the testicles are located inside its body, near the kidneys. They are never visible. What kind of chucklehead would want neuticles for a pet elephant?
34
Neuticles are baffling enough on their own (except for their owners vanity), but for an elephant whose testicles are inside their body is just obscene. What is the medical necessity of that?
11
My Shar-Pei is a wonderful pet. He is the second dog of our marriage. My wife grew up without pets and has adored both our dogs. I was raised with dogs from babyhood. They are a mixed blessing. At once providing unconditional love daily as well as huge out flows of funds as dog care and expense rivals human care. Toss in the caring of the dog for numerous vacations (house sitters so the dog isn’t lonely) and I am retiring from dogs at the nearing end of no#2’s life. Cie la vie.
12
Dogs need jobs to do. I suppose being pampered foolishly is a job. My Border Collie goes most everywhere, never lifts a lip or causes chaos, and acts better in a restaurant than most kids. He’s a gift, but he’s still a dog. Quite a relief given much of my fellow human’s behavior these days.
22
I cannot believe that any respectable veterinarian would agree to put an animal through unnecessary surgery just to satisfy an owner's shallow and selfish desires. My pets rule the house, sleeping with us every night, eating well, and just having fun snoring on the sofa (pugs, of course). I look at their sweet greying faces and help carry them up and down the stairs when their arthritis flares up, but I wouldn't even consider filling their wrinkles with Botox or tucking their tummies. Really, who would do such a thing?
27
I have two fuzzy adorable Kyi-Leo dogs and three cats. They are clustered around me as I write, Spud sprawled on his back in a corner of the sofa. The dogs get groomed regularly to keep their beautiful coats free of mats but with no fancy styling. They get all the veterinary care they need, preventive and emergency. I can't imagine happier animals: it's hard for me to get out of bed in the morning because they don't want to stop cuddling. They couldn't be more loved. But they don't have neuticles or any other fashion accessories. The only time Munchkin, my female, wore clothes was when she lost all her hair after whelping a litter of seven puppies (she's not quite 10 pounds.) While I adore them, I know that they are not children. They are all part of a pack, with me as the pack leader. People who spend money on plastic surgery, fancy cuts, etc. are doing it not for their dogs and cats, but to enhance their own egos. It is a sad loss for them because almost nothing gives such constant pleasure as the companionship and antics of animals allowed to be just that.
19
At a much more quotidian level, what about the economic externalities of our pets? Unlike us, dogs and cats are carnivores, and meat production is a highly inefficient use of resources (land, water, nutrients). It’s also a large source of greenhouse gas emissions, and is reducing the effectiveness of antibiotics. Something to chew on I suppose...
12
Read the article start to finish, all the while happily anticipating the Comments. Thank you, one and all, for not disappointing me. If pampering a pet brings an owner joy, so what. It takes all kinds, as my Granny liked to say.
7
Rather than give dogs human types of pampering, which they really cannot begin to understand or appreciate, I wish more people spent the consistent time it takes to train their dog. My dog has passed the canine good citizenship test, which takes a lot of training but it is so worth it. It never ceases to amaze me when I'm out walking her the same scenario happens 95% of the time we see another dog approaching. Before we pass the other dog, I give Scarlett a slight correction and say, "Control yourself." We pass the dog and Scarlett just walks calmly by--because she's already been reminded. The other dog lunges, growls, whines, and/or barks and the owner ALWAYS says, "Siiiiimon, stooooopppp itttt!" Dogs don't have a clue what that means and begging them to be nice will never stop that behavior. It's harder to train a dog than it is to buy him/her lavender essential oils, but in the long run, it makes for a much happier family.
83
Why is an otherwise respectable organization like the NY Times advertising products such as Miller's Neuticles?
Also, this article puts all pets in the same category, while the truth is that there is a wide variety of cost ranges depending on what kind of pet you have. I pamper my pet cockatiel, but even so, the costs are probably 1/100th of what a human kid would need.
5
Somewhere between 500,000 and 1.5MM perfectly adoptable dogs are euthanized in the US every year at shelters. God only knows how many more die from abandonment, poisoning, target practice, hit by cars and killing by the "owners" via shotgun blast, rifle shot, knife to the throat or other form of self-amusement.
And we're worried about their our pets self-esteem.
God help our displaced values. :-(
43
The article mentions plastic surgery to correct genetic defects in some breeds. Where is the outrage that those breeds - pugs, bulldogs, shar-peis, others - continue to be "manufactured" in puppy mills to gratify our taste for the grotesque? These poor animals live their whole lives suffering from their intentionally bred-in defects in breathing, eating, seeing and walking. Future generations will regard the "fanciers" of those breeds with horror.
43
My dad was a vet for over 60 years and would go anywhere in the middle of the night for an owner and pet who needed him. But most of this new treatment is misplaced and misguided. Pets will never be people and I will never be a vegetarian either. I raise cows, pigs and chickens outside on pasture, grains as needed, no antibiotics. They are probably happier than most of these dogs and cats!
21
Pretty bad famine going on in Yemen.
59
But the majority of his clients, Mr. Miller said, are “everyday pet owners who opt for Neuticles so their pet will maintain its DIGNITY AND SELF-ESTEEM ...." (emphasis mine)
talk about ANTHROPOMORPHISM.
There are only A FEW recognized animals that "understand their reflection in a mirror" but self-esteem? REALLY. Does my neighbor's peacock suffer from HUBRIS? You haven't seen "loving" until you have watched a mother crow preen her offspring, or 2 birds mourn the death of their baby but DIGNITY and SELF ESTEEM?
THERE IS A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE.
40
Tragic article. Donate and save a refugee family or 1,000.
80
maybe, perhaps, possibly just a shade of a teeny-tiny bit the ------ists are right
1
Want to cut down on the cost of owning a dog? Go to the pound and rescue a three to four year old mutt that has been neutered. Kennel train it and give it a lot of your attention. Pretty simple.
52
I have friends who have spent many thousands on dogs, beyond my understanding. I am not a pet lover but feel bad for dogs/cats who have to undergo major surgery and chemo rather than being put to sleep. I do get upset when I have to walk through dog feces daily because owners are too delicate to take responsibility for it. I also dislike unleashed dogs who jump and sniff on me despite my pleas to owners to rein in their dogs. There is not one public space I can find, aside from public libraries, that still bar dogs. People seem incapable of shopping for food, going to green markets, buying clothing or eating without the company of their pets. They don't seem to care about many who have been attacked in past or are allergic, and prefer to stay away from the barking and invasion of personal space.
39
All animals are superior to humans in every way!
7
Very interesting that so many people feel so bad about neutering their male dogs--going so far as to have implants to replace them--yet think nothing of spaying female dogs. Why is that? Why are "balls" so much more precious than ovaries? Why does a neutered male dog offend people's sense of fairness and justice, whereas a neutered female dog doesn't elicit the same pang of outrage?
We need to control pet populations. Spaying and neutering are not optional. They're necessary. If it doesn't bother you to spay a female (and it shouldn't), then it shouldn't bother you to neuter a male. Unless you are seriously screwed up.
62
The only thing this proves is that people take better care of their dogs or cats than they do people. Animals eat better than people and don't deny it because every commercial of dog or cat food touts how jam packed full of nutrients that overpriced bag is when you can also buy the same bag at Walmart for cheaper that just has a different label slapped onto it. Last time I checked my dog wasn't too picky on what he ate whether it was a can of Purina puppy chow or his own feces off the front lawn. People spending ridiculous amounts of cash on an animal who's average lifespan is 14 to 15 years max is beyond stupid and selfish when their are starving millions in every town and city in the United States yet we barely bother to consider their needs. People need to readjust their relationships with not only each other but animals as well. Love your "fur babies". treat them kindly, don't abuse them, but don't over spend on them either. They can't tell the difference between generic name brand dog or cat food and the stuff that is more expensive. They just want their stomachs filled with something more than air. As for preserving their dignity, I can't vouch for my dog who is happily neutered, and to be honest doesn't seem to notice he has no pair of nuts between his legs. So I think his dignity hasn't suffered a bit without having a pair of overpriced silicone replacements.
34
I know someone who insisted that her chihuahua go on Xanax. I thought the dog was merely acting like a chihuahua, and reacting to her incessantly high-strung, frantic owner to boot. I think we should allow dogs to be dogs. They are not children. I definitely spoil my dog (a rat terrier mix from a local shelter), but that means things like letting her lounge on the patio in the sunshine, going to the dog park to run around off leash, taking long trots by the river, and plenty of high-quality dog treats and dog food. And cuddles.
18
As the rich grow richer, they require new things to spend their money on. This puppy couture is the modern iteration of conspicuous consumption at its finest. As millions of Americans lose their snap benefits, dogs are getting 300 dollar haircuts and plastic surgery. If this isn't a "let them eat cake" moment, I don't know what is.
50
Pet ownership is unethical; the power dynamics are pure interspecies slavery for the selfish enjoyment of the humans. If you really love animals, donate often and generously to preserve habitat for wild animals.
19
When in the fifth graf, Peter Haldeman pauses to disclose he ponied up 15 times the cost of his late dog, Weenie, or say a likely minimum of $4500 for a glass eye to ... well I don’t know why... it became apparent the author does not have the sense God gave geese.
And that was before he revealed whether he did or did not pony up for fake testicles, or “Neuticles,” for his current dog, Miles, to help the latter maintain some sense of dognity.
I don’t know what the stupid people did whom Haldeman was writing about. I didn’t get to graf six.
6
My husband and I have 2 Pitbull mixes for whom we spare no expense. My husband also takes care of 8 feral cats in our neighborhood all of which he's caught, fixed, named (Pippi, Frankie, Sacha, Rory, Syndey, Percy, Babbette, Whiskers) and feeds daily. He also built them a "catio" so they have their own fenced yard so our dogs won't get to them.
We often say, "We don't have kids!" as we pull out the credit card.
9
This essay probably applies to 0.01% of the American pet dog and cat population but the author sells it like the latest trend and another example of our materialism and excess. I’m not buying it.
Why not an article about pediatric neutering itself? I never really thought about its effects on an animal’s endocrine system until my beloved black lab, Casey, developed a half-dozen lipomas and a slow-growing cancer in her old age. After a little research, I learned that spaying and neutering create all kinds of problems: blood cancer, bone cancer, obesity, urinary incontinence, late-in-life cognitive impairment—even dysplasia. And why wouldn’t they? I realized I just never even questioned the practice or alternatives. Spaying and neutering sound a lot less scary than castration and ovo-hysterectomy. The crazy thing is it turns out that vasectomy and tubal ligation are just as effective as methods of sterilization without any of the deleterious consequences... or cosmetic changes.
Also, there’s something seriously wrong with the way we think of dogs when our favorite breeds need surgery just to breathe or see clearly.
21
It's the cost of vet care in the last few years of a pet's life that really gets you. The vets recommend so many diagnostic tests, exams, etc every three months - and you feel guilty if you opt out of some of their recommendations. I suspect they feel judgy of pet owners who hesitate on all their recommendations. My dog died a month back. I had him for 15 years. In his final three years he had heart and pulmonary problems which required expensive medications and, for the last 18 months, dosing every 8 hours. These treatments weren't available when I got him 15 years ago. I think the easy availability of credit cards is what has allowed these elaborate and expensive care regimens for elderly pets to become the norm.
7
I am a health policy analyst. This article has a familiar ring - health care extravagance for the rich while millions of animal owners have trouble coming up with money for the most basic care for the pets they love, even having them euthanized purely because treatment would be too expensive. Surely we can do better.
30
Yes, pets are a luxury. If you cannot afford one, don't get one.
6
Two years ago I purchased a puppy from a reputable breeder (or so I thought) for several thousand dollars but within nine months the puppy - which I intended to use as a hunting dog to replace my retiring 10 year old dog - needed bilateral total hip replacement surgery.
I hope the next owner of that puppy, which I donated to a "no-kill" animal shelter, enjoys him as a pet. I might pay $30,000 out of pocket for orthopedic surgery and recovery and rehabilitation for my wife or my mother or my child, but definitely not for a dog and if that makes me evil, so be it.
18
I adopted a Bloodhound at the age of 2 and had her for 12 years. I adopted her easily from a rescue group. Just a lovable, adorable Bloodhound. My running buddy. No fancy collar, no cute hats, no Halloween costumes, no fingernail polish. Purina, no fancy expensive foods. A few human food treats here and there. She lived to the age of 14 and was happy. Now, almost 17 years later, I'm dealing with rescue groups who are trying to find the 'perfect' home for their "fur babies". Personally, I think a lot of them are nut cases...the rescue people, not the dogs. The adoption applications ask ridiculous questions, the home visits are way over the top, and THEY are going to determine which Bloodhound is best for me. Even though I had one for 12 years. This article soooo much reminded me of the rescues. So I'm done with rescues, I'll find my dog somewhere else.
32
Likewise for people wanting to adopt cats. My felines lived until 17 years of age; we provided dialysis to 2 for 4 years.
Rejection is a fetish for many, not all, rescue groups.
10
The fur baby cult is definitely becoming more and more strange. Here in my college town owning dogs is almost mandatory among the young couples and single graduate students. I commend them for adopting dogs, but then I find out they lock the dogs up in their small apartments during the day. Some even put the dogs in crates so they don't damage the furniture, and let them out briefly during lunchtime. When outside I see them constantly cooing and obsessing over each others dogs. A dog-less person is almost a pariah and suspicious at the least. In the end, these fur babies seem to be just an accessory to feed the growing narcissism.
Scientific studies revealed that dogs trigger the release of the bonding hormone, oxytocin. Maybe we are at a point were we bred dogs to look and behave to trigger as many buttons as possible, producing a constant addictive oxytocin rush that suppresses any rationality. We are feeding body parts of millions of other animals to our dogs and cats. Pet ownership sustains a horrible meat industry, while cats are allowed to exterminate millions of songbirds per year. It feels good though, it seems.
10
I feel so fortunate that I never had an interest in pets and never had to deal with the costs of having animals in my home. Even if you don't spoil them and pamper them the way some people do, it is still very expensive.
The sad thing is how many people will sacrifice themselves to care for an animal. I know several people who are so poor that they can barely feed themselves and use food pantries for free food. They will go hungry themselves so they can take their pets to the vet and give them special food. The need to feel loved and needed by the animals is more important to them than their own hunger...
There are so many people whose priorities are very different from my own... Whether it's people who would waste money on fake testicles for a neutered dog or people who would go hungry to feed a cat or people who would give money to elect Republicans.... So much diversity can sometimes make my head spin...
8
After reading the article about how people are less likely to have children these days, I came to this article and the absurd amount of money people spend on their dogs and cats. I am utterly speechless.
15
Was it really necessary to make a mockery of trans issues for this article about dogs? Pets don't have gender, people do. The author's comments do demonstrate both the author's and pet owners' anxiety around gender, which gets projected onto their pets.
11
I really, really don't like dogs.
16
Shakespeare, as ever, comes to mind: "This is the silliest stuff that ever I heard."
Dogs aren't people. Never will be. Bad enough that the vet bills at our house have on occasion caused us to postpone our own health care; ;gone the day, I guess, when vets were in it for something other than money. But all this is just ridiculous. Anyone who spends money on this stuff should donate those funds to an animal shelter, if not the local homeless shelter. What has become of us.
12
"gone the day, I guess, when vets were in it for something other than money." So, I assume you work for free?
5
Almost all the time human beings are worse than dogs. We don't own the planet either. I see no crime in comforting them before we make their environment compelely uninhabitable. If the world needs anything it's fewer people, not dogs.
3
We did have one procedure done to remove cataracts on our 12 year old Cockapoo It gives us special pleasure this day knowing his vision was restored, allowing him five years of fetching tennis balls and running up to other other dogs to sniff and play.
Mitch never experienced a moment of regret for the cards fate had handed him, or bad decisions that he made. We will bid him farewell this afternoon with no regrets. We would have failed children as our parents failed us. Too much is expected of humans, that we never expect of our companion animals.
I pity those who would turn their pets into little people. It could be the hyperactive brain of our species needs the symbiosis of such creatures to make life bearable.
Goodbye Mitchie and thanks for all you've given us.
13
If only Americans cared as much about children at the border...
19
" I Neuticled a monkey in Pocahontas, Ark.,"
Not quite the literary gravitas of "I had a farm in Africa", but it does capture the interest and kept me reading.
5
$62 million spent on plastic surgeries and Neuticles could fund between 126,000 and 1,260,000 spay/neuter surgeries for rescued stray animals (depending on breed, weight, sex). https://www.arflife.org/spay-and-neuter-services. Just sayin...
14
well according to a recent article in the NY Times, elephants have undescended testicles, so highly unlikely that Mr. Miller "did an elephant"!
9
I'm surprised no one is agitating for their fur babies to be registered to vote.
I accidentally hit the "recommend" option on a very one-sided comment. I hope the person whose comment I 'recommended' is not an abuser of dogs, or any other animals. His comment on another recent dog related article scared me. Pet owners are responsible for their own pets, period.
1
If the Trump administration were to separate people from their pets, as well as their children, at the border, the howls of protest would go up ten-fold.
Fortunately, would-be immigrants are too intelligent to subject their pets to the harrowing border experience.
4
I have a grand puppy courtesy of my son and his girlfriend. The grand puppy seems to know that I am related to my son because he greets me like I am a long lost friend and showers me with puppy kisses. Yes, he lifts my mood, makes me smile and lowers my blood pressure. He is a Pomeranian and has not been neutered. Believe it or not, I was afraid of dogs and was a cat person. After interacting with the grand puppy, I cannot watch those ASPCA commercials begging for money for pets any more. I am also unable to watch those St. Jude Children's Research Hospital commercials or any advertisements begging for money for animals or people in dire straights.
1
I love my dog dearly, but I express my love through actual affection, by taking the time to take him on daily walks, feeding him so his coat shiny and his belly full. Providing shelter so he's not cold or wet. And I always give him verbal praise and for the most part, it seems like he is just happy to be included.
Aromatherapy, messages, fake testicles? it sounds like you're paying someone to spend time with your dog. It's a little too EXTRA and it comes off as if maybe these things are not in the interest of the pet.
14
This article is about dogs not pets – notice that there are 8 pictures of dogs and 1 of a cat and none of gerbils, hamster or rabbits. I don’t see much evidence of crazy neurotic behavior by the owners of cats and other pet owners. Maybe this fair and balanced reporting then.
7
You can't get a vet visit for under $200 in Boston....
2
I have always found bizarrely cut and dyed pet's fur was a bit sad and too much. But dog testicle replacements has topped that. That's crazy, and its pretty pathetic that there are people taking this product seriously and implanting them in their pets.
12
Just as the discussion about "why people aren't having more children" assumes the norm to be people wanting to have children, this piece never questions why as a society we take animals evolved in the wild into our homes and spend billions on them. I've always wondered about people with postage-stamp-size apartments getting large dogs and leaving them home all day, for example. Fashion accessory really does describe how people treat pets.
12
Instead of Neuticles, this article should have concentrated on the cost of keeping a dog these days. Where I live, just hope that your dog doesn't need to visit the vet for a serious problem, especially if it means going to a specialist. You're talking thousands of dollars, not including the prices on medications. Even a routine visit to the vet costs several hundred dollars by the time vaccinations and heartworm and flea&tick meds are added in. A trend around here is for established vet practices to be bought up by a corporation, and they are out to make big money. Owning a dog or cat is now a rich man's activity.
16
I hear ya Jeff! The cost of a mere office visit is well over $60 (and that's simply walking into the place). The era of the "country vet" who cared more about the animal than making obscene profits is long gone. My husband and I used to love, house and care for 10-15 stray cats at any given time when we got married over 35 years ago. But since those wonderful and caring private vets have since retired and sold out to those multimillion dollar corporations (which I am thoroughly acquainted with), we can no longer afford to care for so many strays and/or dumped cats which show up in our yard. Fortunately, we have been extremely lucky and have found loving homes for every cat that finds his/her way into our lives. The real and true losers in this change of attitude in vet practices are the animals. A lot of them are euthanized because people can no long afford to take them in or care for them.
20
"A busy day at the salon may be followed by a chill session at the spa. Dogs are wallowing in mud baths and detox wraps, hot oil treatments and blueberry facials."
Why can't a dog or a cat simply be just that? My husband and I stopped counting after we spent $35,000+ over the course of 13 years and 2 days on our beloved chocolate lab back (pet insurance was not available back then). She needed surgeries for her three different ACL knee injuries, she was allergic to everything but water and air so she had special allergy serums created to help combat the spring, summer and autumn allergens, she had various mast cell tumors, and had been attacked twice by pit bulls while on her leash (which required additional surgeries). But every penny we spent was on a specific treatment for a specific ailment or injury rather than something cosmetic.
I marvel at the kind and degree of disposable income being spent on things I consider frivolous. Just think of the amount of good even half of that money spent could be used towards animal shelters and/or animal (or human) food banks. So much money being spent on cosmetic things when so many animal causes need and could use serious financial help. Lately, society seems to be out of balance more than ever before.
12
Grooming dogs so that their owners can dress them up, 'life' coaches, artificial eyes, neuticles- all of this is done for the pleasure of the owner. The dog could care less.
I put a costume on our cat once. When a friend remarked that the cat didn't look happy I retired any thoughts of treating him as if he were a toy. He is a cat, and lives his life as the dignified, sometimes silky, but always terrific catlord rhat he is.
11
For 18 years I was privileged to live with a cat who had more personality than most humans I have known. He loved me even though I was only human, and I loved and respected him because he was a cat.
He magnanimously forgave me for inexplicable outrages such as neutering and vet visits.
But had I ever for one moment treated him as my “fur baby,” or subjected him to aromatherapy or anything remotely similar, or tried to put nail polish on his (intact, of course) claws, he would have rendered his opinion unforgettably. And I would still have the scars to show for it.
I could never have made him what he was; that was his triumphant and entirely feline achievement.
I miss him still.
35
Can we please discuss how all of these unnecessary procedures have driven up the cost of basic veterinary care? Those who will spare no expense for ludicrous medical treatments that do not improve the health or extend the life of their pets have created an environment where many vets charge more than human doctors. I have seen first hand less wealthy pet owners being pressured to choose between paying rent or for their own medical care in order to afford inflated medical costs for their beloved companion animals. Cruel.
14
The US need a war ASAP. Nothing better than real problems to make priorities fall sharply into place. Ok, not a war: have kids! Once you have a kid, immediately, your "babies" become dogs. So to all those saying "He's like our baby", I say "Yeah..., but no. You are just bored, do not have any real problems and have money to spend. If you had real problems or a couple of kids, you'd know better". Enjoy postmodern life while you can. It won't last long.
10
You make parenthood sound so appealing. Thanks, but I’ll pass. Too many people in the world anyway.
Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to snuggle with my spoiled cats.
13
Pet owners will spend thousands of dollars on their pets but complain vociferously about paying for their own healthcare. Something is wrong here...
9
No... I can guarantee that the type of people who can afford pet aromatherapy aren’t losing sleep over their lack of healthcare.
10
I would find this article funny, except for the fact I see more and more people coming into the grocery store with their furry babies in tow or perched in the seat meant to be used by human children. Enough already!
12
Amen. In my small town (1100 souls, although there are some specific residents I wonder if they have one) we have a superannuated “Fire Chief” who drives around in his official vehicle with a small white fur ball dog in his lap. He carries it over his arm and does so in council meetings. It goes everywhere and he apparently thinks it’s just adorable. I think it’s ridiculous for a grown man to carry a dog around like a baby, but there appears to be a subset of older men who drive around in their cars doing the same thing, the dog in their lap. I guess when the kids move out you look for a surrogate? But I agree about people infantilizing their pets (there’s that detested term “fur babies” for example). I also wonder about the abuse of the “service dog” exemptions; if you’re reading this, you know who you are, and I don’t want to be in the grocery store with your dog and his phony vest underfoot.
11
What’s the problem? As long as they are behaved, dogs are allowed in many restaurants and cafes in Europe.
3
Allergies you don't share but want to "share" with the rest of us so we are sneezing and coughing while you are "companioned"?
8
Growing up with farm dogs, I can tell you that dogs are happiest eating manure, rolling in mud, swimming in lakes and streams, and yes, loyally lying at the feet of their beloved masters after a long day of work. Lose the clothes and cosmetics - you're making the dogs miserable, and losing site of their (and our) place in the world.
21
There is no excuse for all these vicious attacks on innocent children. We are not living in the wilderness. These dogs don’t belong in our homes or in public places. Dogs should be banned from society and dog lovers should seek treatment for their mental disorder.
https://www.wptv.com/news/state/florida-boy-4-attacked-by-pit-bull-in-wi...
5
In the article there is a reference to Gregg Miller who invented "Neuticles." He claims he has made prosthetic testicles for an elephant. That seems unlikely because elephant testicles are not visible. There is no scrotum. The testicles are located within the abdomen.
6
Definitive proof that the end must be near.
Society has lost its collective mind.
18
I do hope these pet owners get the psychiatric help they need.
26
My American shorthair cat, Spike, just had his seventeenth birthday. I adopted him from the Humane Society of NY when he was one year old. I brush him once a week and give him catnip (which he loooves!) as a treat. He doesn't like cat toys. His vet theorized that may be because he was given to the Humane Society as a kitten and lived his first year in a cage and never learned to play. He has no cat costumes. He would never tolerate wearing any get-ups like costumes. The only demand he makes is access to my lap or sitting next to me on the couch. He patrols the hallways and my neighbors call him the "Hallway Inspector). He's my best buddy but he is still a cat. The pet owners in this article seem "wackadoodle" to me.
29
Gender reassignment surgery isn't new. A male cat I had in Saudi Arabia (!) in the 90's got a blocked urethra that almost killed him with renal failure. To prevent any further blockage the vet removed the cat's penis and rerouted the much shorter urethra like a female's. All my Saudi friends thought this was hysterically funny - Americans and their pets.
5
Let them romp off leash, chase squirrels, and occasionally roll in deer poop. Then feed them some of the good commercial dog food, perhaps sprinkled with a bit of free-dried raw nuggets. They'll be fine.
4
Barbara Streisand cloned her dog for $50,000. Meanwhile, tens of thousands of children are going to sleep hungry tonight.
God Bless the USA!
16
I’ve been a “pet parent” of several dogs for over 30 years. This is totally ridiculous. Feed, bathe and provide love, shelter and health carefor your animals. Skip the tattoos and the plastic surgery.
18
Totally agree, except when it comes to surgery for brachycephalic dogs’ noses. It’s my understanding that it’s performed to help them breathe easier. As a pug owner who’s seen the outcome on other pugs I know, their respiration is greatly improved after surgery. I would only recommend it for dogs who have difficulty breathing.
2
The people who make neuticles claim to have used their product on an elephant... They should read the article (here in nyt) about how elephants don't have descended testicles... ha ha!
...absurdity at its finest!
6
You don't have to be classic rich to have enough disposable income to be stupid.
This, while charitable contributions continue a long term slide, and people think their taxes are too high, or that those who can't pay for life threatening health care are just too lazy.
And then there are the enablers, doing anything for the dollar. The companies providing canine balls, the surgeons, the PR flacks justifying Vonnegut absurdities.
I'd love to hear George Carlin's take on this.
8
Blueberry facials and plastic surgery? This is beyond ridiculous. We love our 10-year-old rescue but the idea of these pampering activities is horrifying... he’s a dog, not a person, and surely neither wants nor need these extravagant inventions. Perhaps the dog owners paying for such luxuries might instead channel those funds to philanthropic activities that help children right here in the US who are hungry, poorly educated, without healthcare, and living in daily trauma.
17
Wow, this makes my wife and me feel a little less guilty for letting our dogs lick our plates when we are done eating.
24
Our government is treating asylum seekers, adults and children fleeing violence and poverty, more cruelly than American pet owners would ever tolerate their "fur babies" being treated. What if the government showed up, ripped these animals out of their monied owners arms, and put them in cages? What sort of social action would be taken?
Our government is treating asylum seekers, adults and children fleeing violence and poverty, more cruelly than American pet owners would ever tolerate their "fur babies" being treated. Millions of our citizens who are children live in poverty in the U.S. Can we possibly muster compassion for our fellow human beings who are suffering or will we, like Leona Helmsley -- who openly reviled her fellow humans and left an enormous fortune to her lapdog -- opt lavish love on beings that have no agency, can't talk back, and who we can "cathect" with, rather than engaging in the hard work of human relationship and building a just, equitable civilization?
Our society is in decline.
12
Yes, it's ridiculous that some people spend so much money on things or procedures their pets don't really need - but the same reasoning applies to acquiring luxury items humans don't really need either.
13
I do rather like the irony (clearly not lost on the journalist) of asking Cesar Milan to comment on people taking nonsense about animals.
As for artificial testicles, you'd have to establish that dogs can visualise themselves with and without testicles, that they associate the image of themselves with artificial testicles with particular emotions and that those emotions include dignity. Given that dogs, unlike dolphins and chimps, are incapable of identifying their own image in a mirror that all seems highly unlikely.
3
Haha Haha! I laughed all the way through this article...thanks for something (anything!) to take my mind off the foibles and malfeasance of this administration. Honestly, can this even be real?! Faux testicles for a doggies' self esteem? Glitter tattoos? (The fake eye that gave the author's pug a jaunty Sammy Davis-like look was fun though...On the other hand, think of all the cats and dogs in shelters...for heaven's sake, go adopt a nice mutt or tabby, with testicals or without.)
23
BIZARRE, indeed!
Gregg Miller claims to have neuticled an elephant. Check out the current Trilobites: "The Evolutionary Origin of Descending Testicles". Elephants do not have descended testicles, and hence there is no scrotum in which to implant the silicone prostheses.
Was the poor beast embarrassed? Is there photo evidence for this strange surgery? Who was the owner responsible for this weird misuse of veterinary services?
16
Yes, this. That looks like a straight up lie, almost Trumpian in its easy disprovability and self-aggrandizement.
4
Pampering and providing the best care possible is reasonable and humane. But forcing an animal companion to undergo vanity surgery supports only the owner's narcissism. Would you foist such procedures on another in your family? And if they tried to coerce you?
10
Poor animals. Mirrors for the vanity, idleness, and lack of understanding of animals on the owner's part. Don't get me wrong...I love, love, love animals in general and my companions in particular. Which is why I find this kind of stuff sad and repulsive.
54
This money spent on ego support for pet owners would do more good for homeless people and animals who are suffering. Think!
10
Three words: Over The Top. This article would be funny if it weren't for the negative environmental impacts of pet ownership.
5
No way can "pet ownership" compare to the damage the 7.5 BILLION and growing human population is doing to the planet.
7
My dogs have always been rescue mutts, who gave me love and fun and aggravation, but provided companionship in return for shelter and food. They brought me through loneliness and depression. My biggest concern is the cost of pet medical bills. And when the cost is too great in money and pain and alternatives, I give that love back, grieving, in euthanasia.
On the one hand, people who treat their animals like people are probably not abusing vulnerable children, and if they are not having human children, that’s OK. We are overpopulated anyway. On the other hand, our human children go hungry, without shelter or education, without . . . . . . . everything. And so yes, dressing your dog in designer sweaters is gross. Get a stupid one and donate the difference.
11
Most of us go a little bit overboard for our pets. But some of the practices described here are way beyond overboard. And some involve specialists in professional areas, such as plastic surgery. With all the money going to such abusive nonsense, the government should regulate the quacks who are getting wealthy off the seriously deluded pet owners.
2
This nonsense will stop when people who parade around with dogs with polo shirts and designer clothing are scorned rather than celebrated. To me a celebrity who starts an upscale dog clothing line should be ridiculed rather than celebrated. I live in West Hollywood. Most of the dogs I see in the neighborhood including mine, are rescues rather than pure breeds. How about an article about how so many people who are financially comfortable are opting to help rescued animals. Why is the focus too often on the absurd?
39
For the same reason that a dog biting a man is not news, but a man biting a dog is.
5
We spoil our two cats something fiercely, but what's described here (neuticals!) brings to mind thoughts of the parting of the way between fools and their money.
16
I have had dogs all of my adult life and I've always done whatever I could to keep them at healthy. However, some of this is embarrassingly awful. Unless there's it's a medical necessity, as in the case of the flat faced dogs that often have breathing problems, why would you subject your dog to some of these plastic surgeries? And Neuticles? Really? I agree with the commentet who said some dogs are treated like royalty, while hundreds of thousands of put down every year. We are indeed treating those dogs the same way we treat the rising homeless population. In short, we do our best to ignore them unless they park on our sidewalk, and then we go into NIMBY mode.
11
We got our guinea pig, Zeus, from the Humane Society here in Portland, Oregon. His previous owner had neutered him, which, we were told, is odd for a guinea pig. I can’t tell if Zeus has Neuticles, but he seems fine, either way, as long as he gets Italian parsley a few times a week (his one extravagance).
I think Zeus would support our decision to put any Neuticle money into our 401ks so we don’t have to eat cat food at age 75. I hope all these folks who are pampering their pets are putting money away for retirement, too. And I hope they also give to groups trying to save wild animals, which are vanishing before our eyes because of climate change caused by driving Pomeranians to manicure appointments in air-conditioned Chevy Tahoes.
51
"I think Zeus would support our decision to put any Neuticle money into our 401ks..."
Zeus doesn't care about your 401ks!
1
Do not neuter you pet like is the most common way - use vasectomy or tubal litigation instead to maintain normal hormone levels and health for your dog.
Do the research - you'll find that the pets will live longer healthier, and do not 'hump' more even if you keep the hormones.
1
The truly astounding thing, to me at least, is learning that other people apparently have dogs who would be willing to sit still for the entire duration of a spa treatment.
24
We have a cat that has cost us $5000 plus over his lifetime just for a couple of illnesses. The decisions we made about that were based on his needs and our financial resources at the time, and I don't regret them. But . . .
Looked into pet health insurance, but, as for we humans, there is the matter of pre-existing conditions.
What has struck me the most is what happens to families that just can't afford these expenditures. Our vet purports to have a special fund set up to deal with these things, but, though we have offered to donate a hundred or so in special cases of families in need, we've never been taken up on it.
1
No mention of pet food in this piece -- all the un-pampered animals that get slaughtered and ground up to feed our little love objects (not to mention the enormous environmental impacts of raising livestock.) Our tendency to accord some animals "Neuticle" status and overlook the suffering of the other sentient animals whose lives are sacrificed for the well-being of our pets simply reveals that this is all about our feelings, not the feelings of animals.
13
Over 4 million adoptable dogs and cats die in United States shelters every year due to overcrowding and underfunding (that's one every few seconds).
This isn't a story about how Americans have come to love pets in place of caring about suffering humans (you'll find that the people trying to save animals from suffering tend to be the same ones trying to save humans from it, and vice versa. Those who don't care about suffering don't care about it in any of its forms). It's a story about how our society has come to treat pets the same way we treat fellow humans: provide a small minority of them with vast luxuries and leave the majority to suffer, be cast off, and die.
153
"Some think this is because of the steady uptick in childless households."
yes, I think you will find that households with pets AND children are much different.
31
How to treat (or indulge) a pet is a very personal decision; however, I am incredibly thankful for owners who opt to make their pets as physically perfect as possible (whatever the reason)...simply because it creates a body of knowledge and experience to treat other pets.
My Chi/Italian greyhound rescue got into a scuffle with his housemate (it happens) - and lost a over a third of his lower eyelid. The repair was too complicated for my regular vet; however, we were fortunate to find a specialist who could reconstruct the lid and restore full function so the dog wouldn't be left with a high risk of infection or other vision troubles requiring further intervention.
Surgical and medical advances in veterinary medicine have extended and improved the quality of life for many pets...If neuticles play a part in that - so be it. Although Romeo is perfectly macho despite being neutered when he came to rescue at 5 years old.
4
We dosed a nervous retriever this week with CBD oil mixed with food because of five nights of neighborhood fireworks. It seemed to reduce the anxiety a bit, at least he wasn't jumping into bed with us. We love this dog dearly, but he's not our son!
9
But he is your son. Not the most loved one or the most cared for but still, he is one of your sons.
No Jimringg, an animal is not a son. I have had many animals, who have died of old age or disease. I have had a son die. There is nothing remotely similar in the two experiences.
8
"I had a hunch, however, that Neuticles were less vital to the self-esteem of pets than to that of their owners."
The think the subtitle of this article should have read, "The care and feeding of America’s “fur babies” has grown increasingly BIZARRE".
This notion of surgically implanting prosthetic testicles in neutered pets is over the top. I think some people have way too much time AND money on their hands. WOW and then some.
106
Folks can spend their money on anything that fits their whimsy. I'm OK with that,
However reading this article some part of my mind was screaming Gross,Sick,Depraved,and Decadent.
68
This article was good for laughs, but I do feel sorry for the unfortunate animals who are subjected to these ridiculous procedures to indulge their owners' vanity. No wonder many of these dogs require psychiatric treatment!
70
“One of the biggest mistakes that dog owners can make is assuming that dogs feel and think like people do,” warns the best known dog trainer in the country, Cesar Millan, a.k.a. the dog whisperer, on his website. (Mr. Millan was unavailable for comment, presumably because he was busy manifesting calm, assertive energy in the company of alpha Rottweilers and snarling Chihuahuas.) “Dogs live solely in an instinctual world,” the site also says, “and it is up to us as Pack Leaders to meet them there.” WRONG PERSON to quote. That man has inflicted unnecessary and cruel pain on dogs and has no idea how to actually properly train dogs to be their best. This myth needs to stop being perpetuated.
3
The first time I saw an ad for Neuticles in a dog magazine, I thought I was seeing an ad from National Lampoon!
All my (male) fosters have been fine with plain neutering and gone on to happy furever homes. I get updates:)
28
This piece is so depressing I hardly know what to say. A certain element of society has clearly gone insane and has nothing important to do thus, suffering from serious boredom. Well, personally, I have actually adopted two Mexican dogs who are very happy just being my dogs. I have never owned a pedigreed pet in my life. Go to the local shelter for your next one.
164
What does pedigree have to do with any of this? FYI, you didn't "adopt" your dogs, you bought them.
@Suzanne Wheat from North Carolina
I agree 1000% Ms. Wheat. Cats and dogs are literally dying to get adopted by some loving and caring individual. One or more lives are often "saved" when a cat or dog is adopted into a loving and caring home.
5
Only in such an entrenched patriarchy as this one could the existence of neuticles thrive. Jeez, people, your dog is not embarrassed. He doesn't know what happened.
66
What we are seeing is that people are viewing their pets as people, not as animals.
Yet, if these same people, overnight, became 6 inches tall, their pets would eat them in an instant.
76
I have a standard poodle and I do take care of him. The mandatory expenses are his shots and a short plain haircut every 5 to six weeks. He eats kibble and I do buy food that is life sustaining as opposed to some of the garbage food sold in the stores. That's about it. I know about 50 people with dogs, some of whom I meet daily. I don't know any who avail themselves of the services highlighted in this article. The author has researched a panoply of absurd services and suggests that they are rampant. They are not. Most people who own dogs simply care for them responsibly. As for the care of dogs or pets replacing the resources necessary for the care of humans, that too is equally absurd.
58
GOOD GRIEF! I own two dogs but am new to almost every item mentioned here in the article.
8
I have spent years working with children in poverty whose basic needs are often unmet, and children whose working class rural parents would love to get the kids a dog but can’t afford this luxury. As a commentator said, people can spend their money any way they wish, but something about this feels obscene.
234
There’s a JustFoodForDogs down the street from us. It’s my Labrador’s hangout & clubhouse as she drags my husband directly into it on her afternoon walk.
Many treats & pets follow & they often return with a packet of Venison & Squash or somesuch, for dinner. The dog’s dinner. We’re probably eating leftover chicken & wilted veggies.
However, we’ll know exactly where to find her if she ever runs away -
6
We do have so much to offer our dogs, but our cats feel left out.
6
a cat would never allow him/her-self to be subjected to such ridiculous treatments.
8
With all this money spent in America on "fur-babies", one might be lead to conclude there are no children facing hunger here, no one is homeless here, no one lives in poverty here, and everyone can afford their education/healthcare here. It is hard to walk away from this story without feeling a profound sense of shame and disillusionment for the priorities shown in the US.
323
You have it wrong. This article's silliness ignores the vast number of dogs not owned by rich New Yorkers, who languish and die in shelters. How I detest the term "fur babies." They are lots nicer than children and far more helpless.
42
I completely agree with you.
Food banks get $3 worth of food for each $1 donated. So that ridiculous $300 grooming is worth $900 in food.
4
I see the point you're making but at the same time, do you donate all your money that doesn't go to essentials to these causes? Aren't there a host of other problems and priorities that are out of whack? It's kind of a false equivalency. Can't we agree that both of these things are absurd in their own, very different ways?
3
I typically like articles like these, they are a relief from all of the political strife that keeps me up at night. There is a lighthearted aspect to this but it pushed my current pet issues. My wife and I have a new puppy, he is certainly spoiled compared to the dogs of friends who were raised on a farm ,who lived outside ,and mostly had to fend for themselves. I am not a pet parent, I am a pet owner. I take very good care of my dog, he eats well, is free from the terrible cold or heat and has a rather charmed life. He is not a surrogate child, he’s a dog. I certainly understand that people, often those without kids ,project all kinds of attributes on to their pets. Pets don’t talk back, yes they bark and can express their needs but they are easy targets for our projections and conscious and unconscious desires.
What really got me was the money that people spend to make over their pets. These animals can’t protest, they are the victims of their owners vanity. People can use their disposable income in any way they see fit, I do hope that those who choose to spend money to indulge their vanity make equal contributions to our hungry children.
283
I think the farm dogs might be happier though, knowing a few myself. Dogs require a lot less than we think they need.Right now the lab & something next to me is happy with a tennis ball (on of many, they don't last0 being thrown endlessly, as I am now. He'll follow it anywhere. His counterpart, a 95 pound Rottweiler female, and the reason he entered our lives, is happy wrestling with him (a sentiment he supports as well). They leap, drag each other by the cheek and pull on legs (more the Rottie to the mix but both are thrilled strangely). Combine that with occasional steak leftovers, something to chew and bouts of affection and they are thrilled. It is not that hard to please a dog
87
Or at the very least, donate to animal shelters and animal charities.
34
Jonatho Lewis, you wrote: " I am a pet owner.... He is not a surrogate child, he’s a dog." I agree 100%. I've had dogs (I still have one), and my daughter has two. My dog is not my child, nor are my daughter's dogs my "grand-dogs." We are loving pet owners. Period.
7
This is the saddest thing I've read in a month. I'm sickened by what we are doing to our fellow humans. And the beautiful wild creatures we are slaughtering daily. I'm almost enured, it is so unrelenting. But pets? The one blessing of the animals in our lives is that they can turn our thoughts and expectations back to a simpler time and help us accept the scars, crises, distresses of life without trying to smooth it all over. The animal has a kind of purity, to me, even unto the moment when I see incurable pain in their eyes and call the vet to come with the blue juice. Wishing from the bottom of my heart that it were not so for this companion, and also that it could be so for me at the end point in my own life. Even in New York City, I had working dogs, proud, large, loyal. An Irish wolfhound made it possible for me to explore Riverside Park at 2 in the morning. A staghound in rural California kept the marauding bear away. They were friends and companions and guardians and to one I owe my life. A glass eye? These creatures are without vanity, why force ours on them? Our scars should be celebrated. We lived and learned through another crisis. It could have been, as the poet Jane Kenyon once wrote so eloquently, otherwise. It will be, eventually, otherwise. Even for us!
142
Or if they're vain, it's in a way that's very different from us. It'd probably be scent based. Or "I wish I could howl as loudly as the husky down the way".
5
Really great response. Sounds like you had some awesome dogs. And terrific reference to Jane Kenyon. Exactly as she wrote.
5
Beautifully put.
1
I love my cats and they have done wonders in giving me something to focus on other than recent unexpected family deaths and the resulting fallout. I give my 18-year-old cat subcutaneous fluids every day given her kidney disease. I believe when you take responsibility for an animal, you do it all the way through both good and bad. She is family; I even took her and her sister to a two-year work assignment in Australia, putting them through a 3-month quarantine. So having established my pet-care bonafides, let me state I detest the current fad of referring to pets as “fur babies.” I find it most commonly in use by people trying to sell you something; if you don’t buy it you’re somehow neglecting your “fur baby.” When I hear a grown woman talk about her pet with the same tone and focus as in discussing her children/“grand babies” (another term I detest), I want to scream. I would never describe my beloved aged feline in that manner; she has too much dignity.
125
When people talk about my cats as my children, I usually respond with something like "they're more like my weird roommates". I love my cats, they have distinct and wonderful personalities. They got me sanely through grad school, and I'm forever in their debt. However, my cats are adult animals, not baby humans. I'd be much more worried if a child of mine killed a bird or pooped in a box or couldn't read.
14
I'm sorry that you are so easily offended by a harmless term. When all of your family lives far away, including your only son and grandchildren, it's only natural to think of your lovable little dogs, that sleep in your bed, comfort you when you're sad, and travel with you when you go on vacation, as 'fur babies." They have never objected to being our "fur babies." I can't imagine why you or your cat would care.
3
Agree that one’s responsibility for pets is life-long if economically possible. Mr. Cattivo, my diabetic cat, needed an insulin injection 2x a day. He was diagnosed at 3 yrs. old and lived 10 more years. My housemates willingly learned to inject him so I could go on vacation. I was dating a lot at the time, so “I have to go home and shoot my cat” ended a few boring dates. Understandably, a few didn’t believe me!
My boyfriend refers to my 2 cats as his step-cats. Yeah, pet parents are a little crazy, but pet love is good crazy. My little guys have cost me time, hassle, heartache and expense, but I still feel I’m the lucky one in the relationship.
2
I have no problems with people treating their pets as they would any beloved family member. My own experience with my belated and much loved Yorkie named Ringo changed my perspective on animals as a whole. Ringo’s joyful personality, devotion and yes love, taught me that we are not the only beings on this earth that have souls. I hope as a consequence of people who pamper their pets and somewhat humanized them; they might also think twice before eating factory farmed animals. Ringo taught me this lesson and I see Ringo in every sentient being. I can never thank him enough for opening my eyes.
69
How dare you justify not eating factory farmed animals while forcing animals to go through surgeries that are not about them, but their psychotic self-centered owners.
Would you treat any member of your family to such unnecessary horrors?
I didn't think so.
I've got a happy, neutered, sans neuticles, 9 year old chocolate lab who is lying on the floor next to me in my office as I type this, and I can only think it would be nothing but cruel to have him go through the unnecessary surgeries referenced herein. He's never going to be "dignified" - he eagerly trades any dignity for the tiniest morsel of food - but judging from his demeanor he's clearly happy with a life where he is fed and socialized well. Too many people treat their dogs as fashion accessories rather than allowing to be happy pack members as companions to a family.
225
We just recently lost our dog Katie to old age. She was a rescue
dog, Corgi-Lab mix.
She brought order and discipline to my life. She helped me
with her morning and afternoon walks get fit and and be more social.
Katie was later trained as a therapy dog and was allowed to
attend my classroom bringing much joy and comfort to many of my students.
On trips she opened my wife and I up to others who had to pet
this unique looking dog.
It was a great 16 year run we miss her, she was loved by all
she met.
117
So sorry to hear of the loss of what clearly was a very good dog.
5
Thanks,
I still have former students ask me about
her
2
As a veterinarian of 40 years I can tell you that the biggest laugh we had at our large veterinary hospital was when the producers of neuticles sent us samples to consider for use in our practice. One of the vets actually pinned them to the bulletin board where they hung for a couple of years at least, where they continued to get a laugh after all that time.
Dogs and cats do not have the body image consciousness that people do. They have no idea they’ve been neutered. Major deforming surgeries are not even noticed from a self conscious point of view other than if they cause difficulty functioning.
Neuticles are solely for the people and never for the pet. They increase the chance of infection post op. Kim Kardashian’s dog would be a perfect candidate.
253