Exactly. England is more like the American I used to know. Now we are just cold and mean and ugly--and don't forget angry (I wonder why?)
35
I'm no great swoon over the doings of the British Royal family, but now that it's been internationalized--and at last peopled by Africans--there are several things I see in this singular couple. The first is the spectacular beauty of the bride, who's a dazzling ornament to the human race, let alone any sub-group of us. The second is no less important, namely, that the groom is every inch a man, a British Army officer and in his own way an exemplary tribute to the civilized man-hood that in recent years seems so lacking back and forth across the pond separating Americans and Brits. There is, accordingly, something unique this unique couple can do and that is to help repair the enormous damage various foolish American Episcopal religious leaders have done to the mutual respect among the African and Anglo-American leaders of the Anglican Communion Worldwide. These young people don't have to do this in a direct religious sense, but the African peoples are powerfully offended by the idolization of sexual radicalism in the white English-speaking world, and that includes its religious world. The beautiful young people are nothing like radicals, in any sense. It's to their great credit and they have a great opportunity merely to do a lot of meeting and greeting in Africa. Their mere presence will be a blessing to everybody involved, all the way around. And I repeat: their massive, mere, understated and incredible dignity will cover a multitude of wrongs
25
This lifetime I returned in a white body suit (given prejudices easier to get my foot in doors).
That said my forever-soul is black. Your words, exquisite message, prompted weeping tears of JoY.
Namaste.
22
The Duchess wrote a piece for Elle about being mixed race. Worth reading. She doesn't call herself black or white, because she is both. She identifies as biracial. To call her a black princess is to dishonor and fail to recognize that she is equally Caucasian. It dismisses how she identifies and the reality of who she is. The marriage is significant because she's American, divorced, biracial. And because it's a beautiful love story.
69
I find it sad that in a guest list of 600, she had only two family members invited, one of whom couldn't make it. This is a sad testament to the breakdown of modern family relationships. Yes, her father's side of the family are trash, but what about the mother's side? Is her mom the only relative worthy of an invitation from that side too? Or there are no relatives there at all? Does that mean if her mom had passed before Meghan married into the Royal family, Meghan would have been her only relative at her funeral?
23
Mara - Your piece was right on target. I'm not black or biracial or anything, just a 50ish white guy, emphasis on 'guy' who doesn't (usually) watch weddings, but just 'because' I did the same thing, "told myself I would watch a couple minutes of the royal hoopla — and then carry on."
Well, I got so caught up in the whole thing, I told my wife, I'd like to re-do our vows. Of course you are right about the impact of race in this wedding, but I think something transcended even the racial aspects. Was it American? Was it that they were younger? Or was it something just more modern that we all related to better?
I have no idea but, I too, was surprised to think that I like the royal family just a little bit more than I did, "damn it,”
24
You are 1000% correct.
I knew I wanted to watch, as I like her & find them to be a compelling couple. But in the current troubled state of things in the US, I cried with tears of hopefulness and gratitude watching them, Choir Director Karen Gibson, Rev. Curry, and of course, our own royalty, esp. Oprah, Serena, Amal.
Thanks for your article, and for fessing up to your tears. I too was startled to find myself crying, and especially, feeling hopeful about what is possible, after all the fear and cynicism since November of 2016.
36
Diana, you are alive and well in your younger son. Rest In Peace.
64
Much happiness to the young couple. Too bad they retired the Royal Yacht, it would have been ideal for the honeymoon. A great diversion for all of us for a few hours.
7
With all the insane stuff that is going on these days, and dominating the news, and our minds, this was a breath of fresh, Spring air. As my wife knows, I am a romantic. I don't like the term "hopeless" romantic, but prefer "hopeful" romantic.
You can go on all you want about British royalty, and if it's out dated or not. You can they are all spoiled and never had to want for anything.
But this, at least to his hopeful romantic, gave my mind a much needed "time out." And, ok yes, it didn't hurt that Harry stepped up and served his Nation in war. And that's as far as I'll go. Don't want to spoil this brief, good buzz that I have.
Thank you Meghan, and thank you Harry. And while I'm at it, thank you to the Queen. For seeing in these two something that she couldn't deny.
The real world will come crashing back down soon enough. But for that one brief moment, all was good.
37
We did indeed need that, Ms. Gay, and I felt many of the same things that you did. The marriage was such a blessed relief from the hateful news stream that pumps out of the White House everyday, and a reminder that the world continues to evolve in ways that are beautiful and very decent in spite of this current period of ghastly backsliding.
31
I love this editorial about the wedding. The wedding was flawless and enchanting....for all the reasons noted in this article. Thank you for putting words in to my feelings.
12
So many of the comments below just had to pick away at whatever irritant of the moment occurred to their senders. Mara Gay's column picked the high road and delivered what many of us felt as we, too, found ourselves charmed, hopeful and happy. Thank you, NYT and Ms Gay.
18
Perhaps Meghan and Harry will help "modernize" the British royal family (although as author Paul Theroux perceptively noted some years back, this is already a very middle class monarchy in many of its values and pastimes). However, I'm especially optimistic that they'll be praiseworthy members of what Queen Elizabeth refers to -- with both affection and seriousness of purpose -- as "The Firm."
Far from being celebrity layabouts or mere jewel-bedecked figures trotted out for pomp and circumstance, the British royal family is deeply engaged in the serious, often strenuous business of supporting worthy causes. According to theguardian.com: "The wider Royal Family support a grand total of 2,415 charities in Britain, with this figure rising to almost 3,000 worldwide. Elizabeth II favours charities that tackle community and civic issues." Add to these efforts their regular visits of encouragement to schools, hospitals, homes for the elderly, et al.
With their energy, high spirits, compassion and contemporary outlooks, the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex may indeed boost the monarchy's relevance. But they will certainly fulfill the best of its traditional commitment to public service.
Thanks, Meghan and Harry -- the U.K. and the world needs that.
18
It's amusing to see people of African ancestry be proud to be "a part" of this British royal wedding. No one else has come to spreading slavery and indentured servitude on this planet like British royalty. It's pathetic that there's no mention of slavery here. You needed a lot more than this.
7
I can't understand how people can get excited about the royalty, its undue priviledges and the easy life they get to live.
12
This was the wedding of a man whose only virtue is being born in the Royal family, to a woman who happens to have a bit of a acting career!
While I tuned it the brouhaha around the wedding completely, I couldn't look away when the Times comes up with a headline saying "We Needed That" - it kind of speaks loudly to the emptiness of the world we're living in where even such a mundane event is enough to perk people up!
63
How do you know that Prince Harry's 'only virtue is being born in the Royal Family"? Why can we not just let people enjoy something without being so hostile?
80
Actually, it's - "Thank you Meghan Markle, and Prince Henry (Harry), Duchess and Duke of Sussex."
I watched the entire event up until 4:00 A.M. P.S.T.
The dresses and hats were amazing, on the women. A few Americans donned top hats with adornments.
The hats made me think of tropical birds about to take flight. They were exciting, imaginative, fantastically designed and colorful.
And the whole scene made me happy. Everyone was happy. There were women from India, young women and young men from rather scratchy whole in the wall radio broadcasting station somewhere in or near London. There were many persons of color.
But what was most wonderful was the lining up of the commoners along the road to the cathedral for what appeared to be more than a mile.
This couple is happy, with themselves and each other.
20
Most everyone we know watched this most uplifting event. Thanks for cheering up a mostly droll-full US of A.
14
Hot girl marries rich and famous guy. Yawn... They will be divorced within 10 years.
11
I wish people would stop withe the biracial nonsense. Meghan Markle is no different than every other African American descendant of slaves, racially mixed. The only difference is she knows her white ancestors although that hasn't worked out well for her. I bet a DNA test would show her mother is technically "biracial" or even "triracial" like most African Americans. So enough with that.
Meghan and her mother are two beautiful, classy and smart African American women who represented well. The royals, especially Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles, were stellar in their welcoming them into the family.
Wishing them all the best.
118
Maybe you don't get to decide how Markle identifies herself.
21
The Duchess of Sussex has shown she is a woman capable of defining herself and being quite successful at doing so.
I am just tired of this notion that being biracial is something new in America. African American descendants of slaves have been biracial and triracial for centuries. It is the standard and quite rare to find someone who isn't.
Yet with all the various racial mixing in their DNA, African Americans still came together to build communities , support each other and build cultural influences that obviously Meghan Markle is proud of.
It was on display at this beautiful ceremony and there is no mistake her ability to bring all together is part of the African American experience. I still hope we can see more of this in America.
4
I appreciated your insights. I am sure your parents are as proud of you. You are a welcome addition to the Times.
12
I find it interesting how white commentators like to tell black women how they should feel.
Technically, all African-Americans that can trace their lineage in this country are bi-racial. My grandmother was lighter than Meghan, but in 1929 she was a black girl even though her Dad was white. There was a time in this country where "one drop" of black blood made you "Black". And, even in 2018, if the Duchess of Sussex was dropped off in the back woods of Mississippi or even Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, she would be seen as a black woman and profiled as such (especially, if her hair was in its natural curly state).
So, yes, we see her as a black woman and will continue to do so.
13
Beautiful piece. Thank you.
5
If you read anything about queen Elizabeth you would know that she was totally anti apartheid- and worked hard - within the limits of her position - to support Nelson Mandela and fight apartheid in the South African commonwealth. She often travelled to other countries in Africa and danced with Kings to show her support for all Africans. England was one of the first countries to outlaw slavery. I believe she is pleased with the match. Meghan and Harry are the future.
40
Yes..My bruise and battered psyche welcomed the reprieve that was union of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge offered
19
I think the article is misplacing the credit. Price Harry is due the credit here. He is the one after all who proposed to Meghan. Additionally, the Queen had to approve the union. Therefore, Harry and the Queen are the true trailblazers here. Even with Meghan's input, even the ceremony had to authorized by the Crown.
15
"After the royal wedding wrapped up, Meghan and Harry drove off to their reception in a silvery blue Jaguar."
Not just any Jaguar but one that had been converted to run solely on electricity!
12
Pride in the pursuit of love is a lot less threatening than pride in the pursuit of justice. As a black woman, I’ve seen just how much fear and resentment whites exhibit (and some others) in the face of someone who is proud of the achievements of black Americans and translates that pride into a resolute insistence on justice and truth. This pride that challenges the privileged will automatically be recast as “militance” or “radicalism.”
Keep pride in the realm of romance and you assure that the status quo will not change. You will be well liked, for what that’s worth.
31
I kept wondering what our bi-racial daughter would have thought as I watched the red-headed prince take the beautiful Meghan as his bride, When we adopted Cara at three months in 1970, the hope was that racism in this country would burn itself out by the time she reached her teens. It was not to be. As our parish priest preached one Sunday, seemingly directly at us, the intolerance in this country would only diminish with the intermarriage of whites and people of color, Forty years later, the situation is only somewhat better. That the world' s attention was riveted this weekend on a royal who thumbed his nose at the aristocracy, tradition, and racism is hopeful.
51
Thank you Meghan and Harry for the positive message of love between the races in a time where people seem to have forgotten the duty to love one another and sadness has been loosed on the land. An example we need, when we needed it.
20
I cried too. My husband teared up sitting next to me.
Later that morning, drove to Houston for a funeral and cried my eyes out, which was a surprise. it was a flood of tears. So much sadness and happiness mixed up from the scene at Santa Fe, to wedding at Windsor to funeral of a a mother of a friend in Houston...pent up and it felt good to feel the good, bad and ugly of life.
Thanks for this great article. The wedding was in our collective soul.
22
I look forward to the day that we don't have to make mention the race of a person but, instead focus on what is possible for two people who want to share the joys of falling in love, throwing a celebrity wedding and ultimately enjoying a marriage/partnership for the rest of their lives.
18
Thanks, Mara, I do like this editorial!
I would be called "white" but my DNA confirms that I'm multi-racial, multi-ethnic, and many-cultured. We all are, worldwide. I even have a bit of "pre-human" Neanderthal and Denisovan. I love every drop of all of it.
Like you, I tuned into the wedding stuff thinking to watch a few clips and then get on with my day. I stayed for all the episodes you describe so well here. The moving choral performances. The minister brilliantly "tearing up the pea patch" with his Fire! sermon.
The great natural physical beauty of Meghan. Her accomplishments, beliefs and dedication. Harry's Celtic handsomeness, no-act charm and manly sensitive soul. Their mutual proven commitment to humanitarian causes. The clear fact that they like each other very much. The love shining forth to the rest of us.
An hour and a half later, I stood up, shook my head and did a little 72 year old's boogie by the TV.
A fabulous way to start a new day.
34
What a wonderful article that echoes many of my feelings about the wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. I too became emotional about the significance of that moment: the healing power of hope, change and inclusion. As a black American male, I felt immense pride in Ms. Markle’s accomplishments and what she and Prince Harry represent for our future.
20
You cried and now I am crying on your beautiful and inspiring opinion piece.
17
Like Ms. Gay, I also intended a minimal engagement with this latest Royal fluff piece. Then I started watching. As a white woman ally against racism, I was moved from the very start, and it just got better and better. I saw my stiff cousins begin to feel some flexibility in their spines. I loved the fascinator-laden heads swirling around to see the choir from their own home town, singing a gospel song of faithfulness. Stand by me had about as many layers of meaning as the tallest wedding cake: a couple pledging faith, a country pledging support, two old rivalrous nations reuniting in a stunning new form of partnership. I have no doubt there will be bumps ahead, both in their marriage and in our perceptions. I am as good at cynicism/sophistication as anyone. But what a welcome relief to spend a few hours just celebrating the capacity of human spirits to soar above our petty natures. Diana's gift to us all lives on. Meaghan, take up the charge ahead. We are with you and Harry.
53
Your comment should be a NY Times Pick.
8
I wish she were my best friend, and I could call her anytime I wanted. I might feel a lot better about the world than I'm feeling now.
But at least she made one day far better than it might have been. I add another thank you. Now back to life, and old Frank Sinaira records.
15
Everything about the wedding was exemplary, laudable and a credit to the royal family. Without diminishing those facts, it is impossible to miss the irony that a woman who has undergone extensive, painful plastic surgery and skin bleaching to look white is now praised for "being herself" by including African-American content in her wedding. Also, as stirring as Bishop Curry's sermon was, it first lost its effect through pointless repetition and second launched into an inappropriate encomium to fire, oblivious to the Queen's well-publicised horror at the conflagration that swept Windsor Castle -- especially St. George's Hall, where the wedding was taking place.
9
Really? I saw a picture of her when she was 11. She looks the same. All I noticed was that she straightened her hair.
16
Please cite proof for your assertions about plastic surgery and skin bleaching.
2
Ouch.
Totally agree. We did this event.
4
Privately, the world is wondering what is wrong with Harry? He could have had anyone. Late mother Diana would not be pleased. Father Charles is (privately) in a permanent state of shock. Sadly, the monarchy begun by William the Conqueror has now been reduced to a politically correct caricature. Of course, the (marriage) will not last. Also, what if the (marriage) results in children? What then? Will they be valued the same as the children of brother William? Private polling reveal the vast majority of English people are acutely embarrassed, but will maintain a stiff upper lip, pretend all is well. Even when all is not well. Not well at all..
3
You cannot be serious, wake-up and smell the (black) coffee. The world is changing from your point of view. Princess Diana is beaming!
20
Have you been racist your whole life, or is this a recent development?
2
So you speak for the world, huh? How condescending of you to believe that the whole world is as racist as you are. It must be hard being so close minded and frightened of change. Sad for you and yours but the world will not stop turning to satisfy your hateful spirit.
3
I agree. It was beautiful. But we have so far to go yet. On the same day The New York Times posts this lovely opinion, another opinion writer tells us about a Black man who has been prosecuted 6 times and has been held in prison for 22 years, most likely for a crime he did not commit. If only the fairy tale could touch all, and sweep away the injustice of racism.
16
When the whitest family on the planet welcomes a black American marrying Prince Harry....it means something. Maybe not quite a turning point. But definitely leading by example and steadying the moral compass of human progress.
23
I'm a 70 something white male (gasp!), and the wedding highlights brought a few tears to my eyes.
20
Pride is important to love, not the false pride of worldly achievement, but the healthy self regard, a humble, fervent faith in your worth, that makes love of others and its many sacrifices, possible. Even joyful.
Pride is also important in the pursuit of justice. the knowledge of what is indisputably morally right springs from knowing God’s love, is carried with confidence and purpose, enabling the long suffering will to stand against corruption come what may.
There is every reason to believe that this couple will have abundance in both love and justice.
13
"Who knew the royal wedding was going to be so black? Who knew it would be so American?"
I can understand the black part but don't understand
the American part. Last time I checked, Black people
only represent 13% of American.
6
Only 13% of the American population but this belies the outsized influence of Black American culture on American culture (and global culture.) Jazz, Hip Hop, Beyonce, Oprah, Muhammad Ali, count the ways. America is Black af -- whether it wants to be or not.
14
What do you mean by that my friend. Are you suggesting that unless White Americans are involved in something, that it’s not uniquely American when other races f Americans are involved. I️ really hope you are not suggesting that.
18
I agree with your observation in part---American culture could not exist without its African American influences. But though African Americans are only a little under 13% of the overall population, they are the majority in most major urban markets and the majority in almost all of the southern cities and at least 30-40% of most Deep South states. So when you look at it that way, it is no surprise. Add to that as slaves and servants for centuries, African Americans were able to influence whites directly in many aspects of community and home life---from taste in foods to how they raised the master's children. The anomaly is that racist whites too often think there has been no influence!
39
I love this article. Every word. Also, did you notice that the jaguar was made for america. the drivers side was on the left.
19
Thank you for noticing that, too. And for mentioning it here. I noticed the driver's side was on the left immediately and wondered what was up ? Especially on a British car.
5
Most European countries have always driven on the right like the USA, the closest to UK is France just 22 miles away across the English Channel.
1
Is no one going to say anything about the colour that Kate Middleton wore? That was #royalshade. Instead TIME writes about Oprah.
5
I thought so, too. But Kate Middleton's dress was pale yellow and not white or ivory, as it appeared on television screens.
7
Was pale yellow and not new apparel- had worn several times- she did not want to upstage bride- she gave press nothing to speculate about. Get over it. The woman gave birth a month ago, has three kids and you think she is worrying about disrespecting the new wife of her husbands brother. She is married to the heir and mother to the next one- think she is doing ok without additional attention seeking- such a male response.
18
I loved the whole ceremony and think it was wonderful to be seen as a contrast to Trump's America. However, my view on Meghan's role within the royal family is a little dim. I fear that the slow and subtle bondage of this woman by the "firm" has started and she will be brought to heel for being too black. The reactions of the royals was shocking but not surprising. They showed their true, racists colors as they snickered and made faces during the Bishop's sermon. For all of their exposure to the public they were unable to keep their game faces on during this very black wedding. Harry is the best of that bunch, for sure.
17
Listening to the Kingdom's Choir sing Stand By Me soothed me too. Beautiful voices and faces. Love will win.
15
Move over Catholic Church! You have much to learn from your illegitimate daughter the Church of England, conceived in lust and bred in blood and sin with the death of so many innocents. I'm thinking of Thomas More and John Fisher, the only Catholic bishop who did not defect. Yet amazingly this Anglican Church has become more welcoming in its embrace of the divorced and remarried, women and members of the LGBT community as put on full display yesterday with the beautiful liturgy and the inspiring words of the African-American preacher, Most Reverend Michael Curry! I offer this as a Roman Catholic priest and theologian with a doctorate from a pontifical university.
23
I believe in my Catholic teachings
1
It's not amazingly so it's inevitably so. Once you decide that you don't need the magisterium and the King of England can grant himself his own divorces everything else can be predicted.
1
As a bi-racial British woman living in LA I found, like the author, unexpectedly caught up by the magic of this event. Knowing how stodgy an institution the monarchy is, I was absolutely thrilled how American & black the ceremony was and how uncomfortable it seemed to make the old guard. Britain and America, because of Brexit and Trump, seem to be sliding backwards. This wedding, at least symbolically, made me feel like some of us are still moving forward.
18
Meghan, walking alone down the aisle and Doria, sitting alone and facing the Queen of England and the future king. I am so proud that these two American black women, daughter and mother, represented me, an 80-year-old American white woman, at the royal wedding.
36
I also liked that Meghan confidently walked down the aisle, and in addition Prince Charles “met her half way” to welcome her. Nice.
45
Meghan considers herself biracial and has posted that she is proud of her biracial heritage. Unlike the author she doesn't identify as black. So the author misleads by doing that for the new royal. She is not a black princess. She's a lovely biracial justice. And the Reverend went on too long. Otherwise, nice ceremony.
10
Yes the reverend went on way too long, and was way too animated.
12
I could have listened to him all day. What’s gone on too long is racism. And for those people who felt uncomfortable by this sermon, they needed it more than I did.
10
The cultural influences she brought to the ceremony were from Black America, not Biracial America. It seems some people just have an issue with the word black.
8
I haven't seen much press about this but also wanted to point out the exquisite Rev. Rose Hudson-Wilkin, who spoke briefly at the wedding. Black, Jamaican, and female, she was appointed a chaplain to the Queen in 2008. Let's please give the Queen some credit for that as a certain step on a long road ...
56
Meghan identifies as biracial, not black or white exclusively. She has posted as such, being proud of her whole heritage. In that regard, she's not a black princess but literally a biracial duchess. She's beautiful and the couple seem very much in love. The Reverend went on too long and took attention away from the bride and groom. Otherwise, lovely ceremony.
12
It may have been a wonderful spectacle but it’s really just an extension of show business. As a republican, and British,I resent the cost of a royal family who are no more worthy than most of the rest of us. People say the Queen brings tourists well I am going to Berlin next week but not hoping for a glimpse of Mrs Merkel. I’d like to see a republic with a president without power a meeter and greeter along the lines of the Republic of Ireland.
7
I hope you are even more offended that your taxes are being used to support the lavish styles of cabinet members : Zinke, Pruitt, Price, Carson, Munchin and who knows whom?
22
Thank you, Megan Markle. I don't go for celebrity gossip or generally care what the rich and famous are doing, but your sense of self and and the firm expression of who you are (in the face of what must be strong pressures of conformity) make us proud to be Americans (and we don't get much of that lately).
16
I'd also like to point out the beautiful ELECTRIC blue jaguar they drove to their reception in. Yes this couple appears to be fulling embracing our worlds future and rejecting those that try and drag us backwards.
I just wish Barack and Michelle could have been there as the couple wished. If it wasn't for the fact that everybody on the planet knows that it would have made the baby in charge go crazy and he would have tweeted horrible things and created a diplomatic incident. Even when he's not involved he manages to sully it in some way.
I thought Amal Clooney's look was show stopping and left her hubby in the shade. Only the bride was more beautiful.
26
And thank you, prince Harry.
17
This whole wedding and the Netflix show The Crown make me actually like the royal family, where before I used to think it dated and ridiculous. Perhaps if Americans had our own royal family we would actually elect Presidents based on merit and not "I like you, I don't like you" nonsense.
4
I hope one of the Obama daughters can get married here and allow it to be televised. America needs something like this.
4
Why would one of the Obama daughters get married and have it televised? Neither would probably want to, and Chelsea Clinton didn't have her marriage televised... oh wait, you must be thinking that a title conferred on a woman with African heritage in England now makes all young women, (whether or not they are divorced first) magically a Duchess, or Princess, or the American equivalent? Or---it is because they have a relative who held a high office in America, because now the UK and the US have identical customs, values, and that strong desire for life in the limelight?
Please clue me in here, that is, the poster who suggested one of the Obama daughters have her wedding televised.
6
Your moniker fits you "No Sleep". You need to chill. Too much pent up stress and/or frustration, sounds like.
2
The royalty is an outdated institution, more of a tourist attraction than anything else. Still it's inspiring to see them do good. And by embracing African American culture while not abandoning their own, I think they've done good. They've shown us that multiple cultures can coexist not just peacefully but synergistically--contributing to one another.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it's good to look at positive sides every now and then.
And I can't help but to think about Princess Diana and the impact she had (all of the Spencers have had) and, through her sons, continues to have on the British royal family.
13
Well said Ms. Gay!!
9
I would say Thank You to BOTH Meghan and Harry. It took a lot of courage for Harry to go with his heart and overcome centuries old racism, protocols and prejudice. He is indeed his mother's son.
32
No, he is his father's son. His father married for love, after agreeing to divorce Diana, despite the stigma.
3
Oh, give it rest! I’m so tired of all the “wonderful” press about this event.
8
Exactly! Let's get back to the 24/7 coverage of the cesspool that is the Trump crowd.
9
"This silly British wedding." Can the writer tell us why it was silly? Or why she believed it would be silly? Would it be silly because the traditions may not be those of the writer? How would you react if someone called your traditions silly? I am guessing that may not go over well. As long as we are striving for inclusiveness, perhaps we could drop the judgmental adjectives. Having said that, I am delighted that so many others here were as pleased as I was about the way the day went, the blending of cultures, the vitality of this couple, their love, and the influence they are very likely to have on things going forward.
9
Dear Ms Gay
I'm a white woman immigrant to this country and I completely agree with you. I've been captivated by Ms Markle' s self possession and convictions and I look forward to following the Duchess from here. She showed us once again the power a single person can wield in modeling for the world what is right and eternally true
Let's pay more attention to people like this and starve the racists and friends of Nazis of the attention the desperately need to survive
15
My Irish ancestry colors my view of the British monarchy, but this wedding, which I taped was glorious. The couple's love was so wonderfully obvious, and the multicultural service , including choice of music, was magnificent. Clearly the Queen approved. It was such a delightful diversion from the daily toxic noise in our nation. Health and blessings to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. I regret that I deleted the tape.
15
Yesss! I missed a good part of the shindig because I was determined not to watch, turned it on for the last bits and immediately began scrambling to find playbacks of what I'd missed. I know that the Brits absolutely saw all this through their own quite different lenses, but, me, I thought, this is just so valuable for us Americans, black *and* white. We don't have our own royalty, often get carried away by theirs. Well, guess what. Guess *who* is royalty, guess *who* gets married at Westminster -- take *that*, you white supremacists. The Duchess of Sussex is a beautiful person in every way that matters for us. (Oh, and did you notice -- California poppy got embroidered into her veil? You go girl!)
11
Thank you, you said it all!
5
I simply cannot fathom the organizational skills that the overseer of that wedding possessed. And yes...there was a unique interracial sweetness in the air and the cellist’s courage at 19 that he wouldn’t goof is beyond my understanding. He rocks.
21
I thought the ceremony was beautiful and the way the couple wove the two different cultures into one ceremony even more remarkable.
And to those who think the queen disapproved of the ceremony, she had final say on every detail of it, even the dress. On race; our country and every other country in the world deals with some sort of bigotry, it always seems that humans have to find other humans to put down and to make themselves feel superior. As Martin Luther King said when the day comes that we look at person for what they are and how they are rather then judging them by their appearance alone, we’ll have transcended racism. We are still a long way from that day.
Raise your children with the belief that everyone born in this world wants the same basic things as everyone else, to be happy, comfortable in life, a good job, to live without violence in their neighborhood, a good education, a nice place to live, to have love and to give to their children these same things as well. Skin color or a different cultural background has nothing to do with these intangible wants and desires because we all want them. Skin color, to me, only matters when you are trying to describe someone to another who has never seen the person being described.
I wish nothing but happiness for the new royal couple and once again the ceremony was beautiful.
8
The ceremony was less about a marriage, more about inclusion. Having lived and worked in England for many years I saw first hand the snobbery and elitism of "pretend royals" and "old money", the racism and anti-semitism of "yobs" and the immigration backlash of Brexit. There is the ever present question of the purpose and value of a monarchy. Saturday's wedding may have diverted attention from such issues but rhey remain for a day but on Monday morning they exist as they did on Friday.
The pageantry was a glorious sight to behold and, yes it did makes us forget for a moment society's woes for a very short time. For this we should be thankful. My sadness is knowing, as great a display of inclusion and wonderfulness as it was, England and the world picked up where it left off before the moment the festivities began.
61
Thanks for this phrase: “excruciatingly fragile hopefulness about what is possible.” It has guided my life and makes me cry (too), every time I can glimpse it.
9
During these trying times in the US, the royal wedding was, indeed, a much needed balm.
16
A spectacular production of love and royalty like we've never seen. So many wonderful subplots going on you couldn't count them all. Perhaps best of all - no Trump.
26
On sat. after reading all about the latest school shooting in Texas, I was filled with despair, tears of anger. I then moved on to everything the Times wrote and shared with us about the wedding. The beauty, the love, the sunshine and flowers, happy people everywhere. The black ladies who came from Chicago, NYC, DC to be apart of this wonderful moment. The singing, the sermon, Meghan's dress, the vows, her mother standing next to Prince Charles, the obvious love shared by a man and a woman. Yes, I need that and so did many others I talked to later. Tears of joy this time. I say long live the British monarchy, faults and all. There was no false note in this lovely ceremony.
22
Imagine, a British prince who looks past race, previous relationships, a divorce, nationality, background and is confident enough in himself and his bride to join with his bride - a descendant of American slaves - and merge her into the British royal family. It is one thing to say you support a race, nationality, a background that differs from yours, and it is a whole other thing to show the world that you live by what you say. How proud his mother would be!
315
Wonderful column! America has betrayed all of us who have believed in its better angels. I needed to read a column like this one. Thank you.
14
Beautiful piece. My thoughts exactly. The coverage felt like being on a sort of holiday; a much-needed respite from the awfulness of Trumpism, Brexit-ism and the ugly Internet memes and spoiled rotten self-righteousness that drive this dark moment in our history. As wise young Tshego Lengolo and youth like the Parkland survivors are showing us, they (i.e., Trumpists) can try, but ultimately they will fail. There is hope. There is goodness and beauty. They can't keep love down.
20
One more wedding comment, “Stand By Me” will never be the same! Loved it, loved it, loved it.
Every marrying person should have such a request of their partner, because heaven knows having someone standing by another person makes life so much better - and so much more loving.
Any of us who love another person could ask ourselves “What more can I do to make ‘stand by me’ more powerful in our relationship?”
16
What a splendid contrast to our usual daily diet of depressing trump news! Yes, we needed that.
15
Pip Pip Mara my own thoughts also. Thanks!
5
I don't know much (zero) about fashion but that wedding dress seems to me to be as flawless as dresses get. In a hundred years it will still be in fashion. She was almost freakily perfect, and her mother a very close second. The royals could learn a thing or two from those two.
26
Like so many commenters before me here, I too was caught up and " was escaped." For a few hours life felt normal. A perpetual dark cloud lifted, a needful reminder that people can be good. And good people can be powerful.
I write this only to give thanks. Thank you Meghan and Harry.
30
Does anyone else think it odd that Meghan is generally referred to as biracial whereas Obama was always referred to as black?
16
Not necessarily. Some biracial people look more white (Meghan Markle) and some look more black (Barack Obama).
1
I have noticed that - it's curious.
And the emphasis on Meghan's race is rather overdone. She's married two white guys, lived with one other white guy, and had ZERO black relatives (except her positively gracious and lovely Mom) at her wedding. What's up with that?
2
Ms. Markle didn't need thousands of voters to get the job. Each person decided upon what to label himself or herself.
1
It's appalling that the entire news media have taken this stupid event to heart and treated it as top-level news. It's the 21st century and we're still wowed by "royalty". Stop wasting my time and focusing people's attention on trivial, atavistic rituals.
8
Get a life! There's more to life than snide remarks, hate and ridicule!
8
Name one thing.
1
If you’re that offended, don’t read the news reports or watch the coverage. You are in control of what media you consume.
5
Amen, Mara. Amen!
8
1. Election of Barack Obama 2. Royal Wedding 3. Beyonce's Concert at Coachella - in that order.
5
A royal wedding has a certain amount of beauty; any wedding has a certain amount of beauty. But I think many of us were taken off guard by just how beautiful this wedding was because it was beautiful in new, progressive, inclusive ways.
A multiracial, 30-something, divorced American woman is now part of a royal family. The wedding, an act of love, in a sense did something for black and biracial Americans, this act of love did something for divorced 30-something Americans, and this act of love did something for American women.
It may have given many hope for a brighter future.
At the same time, maybe we shouldn't get caught up in the hype of royalty. And what we should hope for is that any divorced, 30-something, American woman of any race is valued just as much as Meghan Markle. And that any interracial couple is valued just as much for their act of love.
21
I'm curious as to how American black men felt about the whole thing? They could never give a black woman this. What do they say to their little daughters - you too can be a princess like her but you have to marry a white man? And once again, black men (albeit brilliant) was the entertainment.
1
I don't think you have to be a black man to know you can't give a woman what Harry gave Meghan.
I'm struck by how many people want to nitpick what seems clearly a historical moment in racial history.
9
A HUGE AMEN MARA GAY!!!
5
damn straight ! nicely written. yes, indeedy, we needed that. and your wonderful reaction to the British show piece. thank you !
10
I kinda feel like the Scottish man in the bar: "makes me what to like the royal family, damn it" . Royalty and the aristocracy makes me think the French had the right idea (what is it about Americans that we go all ga-ga over royalty anyway?) But, yes, they are a cute couple and I wish them the best.
5
Shades of the Obama election. While Ms. Gay has moral authority I do not, this kind of conspicuous "advance" often diverts attention from the insidious issues that really matter. We Americans have a great capacity for symbolism accompanied by inaction.
When Obama was elected, racism was over. When tragedy hits, we display yellow ribbons and all is well. When we murder innocents in the Middle East, we support our troops and assure ourselves that God blesses America.
I suppose Meghan Markle is a somewhat more socially progressive celebrity than some, and I understand why people of color are heartened by a biracial woman in the spotlight. But the royal family is, by and large, historically imperialist, white, privileged (duh), and repressive defenders of the status quo.
Meghan Markle sparkles, but she would be shamed and marginalized in many dark corners of America and England.
We seem to have an insatiable appetite for fawning over the rich and famous. I think it detracts, not enhances, social progress.
3
Having lived 10 years in the UK I noticed a big difference in the interracial dynamics compared to the USA; while all my American black friends and colleagues fully identify themselves as “Americans” (and rightly so!), many of the British blacks I’ve met feel a lot closer to their African ancestry, or to their Caribbean roots if their families come from the former colonies. I have met people in the UK, British citizens through and through, who still identify closely with their roots in Ghana, or Nigeria, or Kenya. On the other hand, all my friends of color from Chicago feel 100% Chicagoans, and most don’t know which part of Africa their ancestors come from.
This changes the interracial dynamics somewhat - if anything, it makes them more interesting as you get to learn about so many different cultures! - but it’s something that Ms. Markle (Windsor?) will have to be aware of, to avoid gaffes or faux pas.
2
Well that makes sense given that blacks in the UK descend from immigrants who know where in Africa or the Carribean they're from, versus most African Americans who descend from slaves. You find that same dynamic in African and Caribbean communities in NYC.
7
Thank you Mara, beautiful piece.
9
I agree and would like to add that it was an Vintage Jaguar that was converted to Electric
11
I have nothing against electric cars, they are definitely the future. However, to convert a beautiful classic E Type to electric was a terrible thing to do.
2
The glorious ceremony was a balm for all who are weary after so many months of a soulless megalomaniac angrily taking up oxygen on the world stage. Irony is the pomp and circumstance and adoring throngs is what Trump craves and will never have.
27
For me it was Harry telling his bride "you look amazing" when she reached the altar and the Mulrooney twins so deftly and proudly assisting the bride. But when Prince Charles reached out to Doria Rutland modernity enveloped the Royal family. this was a wedding for the ages.
40
Wonderful highlights, Maureen.
6
For a couple of hours Saturday (quite by accident) while watching this celebration of love, grace, honor and dignity, my heart experienced an infusion of pure joy. I found myself smiling involuntarily, and the goosebumps were never ending. To witness those stiff-upper-lip Brits, embracing Ms. Markle and her heritage was an incredibly wonderful moment for humanity.
Contrast that with the shameful disgrace we now have as leader of our country - a bigot and a racist, a dishonest man of the lowest character, a man who thrives on sowing hatred and division, creating despair for many. This is our face to the world now.
But for a short time I could leave him behind, to soak in the warmth, love and hope radiating from across the pond. For that, this tired demoralized American thanks you - you really put the great in Great Britain.
38
And Big Thank You to Her Majestry, the Queen. None of this happens, nothing, without her. She is the original Feminist. She had a job to do and couldn't say "just let me raise my kids first" in the 50's no less. I'm sure Prince Harry is who he is in no small part because of her. Thank you Your Majesty.
28
Instead of tuning in, I took out my copy of Thomas Paine’s Common Sense and did some reading on the subject of monarchies.
3
Even the Jag was left-hand drive.
4
This marriage was not only good for the Royal Family, it was also good for Britain, good for America and good for the world.
Prince Harry and Megan Markle have single highhandedly changed the narrative from, "not white, with a single drop of black blood" to "they are no different to us except for their skin colour", which is as trivial as having different coloured hair or eyes.
Its good that they put things in perspective for us.
12
Forgot to mention, thank you Mara Gay for such a beautifully written piece.
11
It would appear that Meagan Markle is valued by the New York Times primarily because of her race and that her wedding is to be celebrated not because of the individual persons involved, absent any particular identifications, but precisely because her mother is a Black woman. Americans get two contradictory messages about race: The first is that race is irrelevant, there are no differences in intelligence or anything else that matters, and the second is that it matters a great deal.
Had the Prince married a English White woman from England's indigenous population it wouldn't be the cause for nearly as much celebration as it is that he broke tradition and did otherwise.
Race has become an obsession, even more by the progressive left than it is by the conservative right. Think about this.
11
Very well said.
6
Just want you to know that everyone sees that you're being disingenuous by pretending you don't understand the difference between "race doesn't matter in determining someone's intelligence or skill level" and "how amazing that race doesn't matter to the most powerful monarchy in world history and its supportors, such that they embraced a foreigner of mixed race into the most exclusive club."
Most people are too happy to call you on it. I'm not.
9
Something else that made the event so refreshing: no Trump, no Clintons, no Mueller, no cable news "experts" chatting midlessly away about politics.
18
Americans have to make everything about them. A reminder that this wedding was not “powerful” or black or “transformative” in any way, at least to Britons.
Why? Because it’s an island of racists? No, because Britain long ago put slavery and racist laws to bed. Frankly, nobody in Britain seriously cares about the power of the black American experience when they’d have been more free and equal had America remained a Crown subject.
10
You are so right, CS.
Regarding another part of the style of this wedding, I could have done without the extensive "preaching about Jesus" and love for so long. I prefer the restraint of the British during certain ceremonies, or maybe it is just a personal preference. Most other comments seemed to favor as much laid back American style as possible.
4
What??? Recent changes to immigration laws have led to deportations of 50+ year residents of the UK to the Caribbean. PM May just apologized. Britain has a huge racial problem that fills the news regularly. And how many stories have we read in the run up to this wedding about black Britishers' pride at the monarchy welcoming a new member who is part black?
I'm not sure where you're coming from or what point you're trying to make but your facts are way off.
1
Congratulations, one and all. God is Love, and love heals.
11
No fair making ME cry over my morning coffee.
12
The royal wedding was a welcome enchantment, offering a momentary escape from the all-pervasive gloom. Who could have imagined a whole day without “breaking news”? God was in his cerulean heaven, and the recent sad events in Texas could almost have occurred on another planet. For me the best part was that, for one brief shining moment, the British royals eclipsed our own mad king. For the first time in recent memory, we had a day-long respite from Donald Trump, his scandals, photo-ops, crotchety tweets and sleazy retinue.
297
Amen!
21
But now, back to reality (Alas)
9
Well....This is the realm of dreams. What about focusing on the basics: being allowed inside Starbucks or.... no longer getting shot just because your skin is dark...
5
When the world celebrates a white monarchy crowning a "black" princess, those other things follow.
3
This week we heard the word, 'biracial'about a million times. As a biracial woman myself, I can tell you, white people see me as BLACK, that is it - and of course, black people look at me as not quite black enough.
10
I was moved by Ms. Ragland.
Classy.
23
Well said!
We do.
Need that.
5
She achieved something. He nothing.
The Kardashians, and Paris Hilton are Him.
The match made in Genetic diversity is a lesson for us all.
1
He started the Invictus Games, he served his country in the Armed Forces for 10 years, he's done charity work; he's lent his time and money and energy to several charities. If you consider him along the same lines as those you mention (I won't mention their names) I pity you. Those that you name are classless.
26
I think you said what many in this country believe. This is what I like to call an Obama moment. This wedding reminded America what it was becoming only to discover through Trump's election what it was all along. I hope Britain does not do to her what this country did to Obama. You know that moment America woke up and realize there was a black man in the White House. I hope the British press treats her fairly and not make the mistake of legitimizing the point of view of hateful racist people (Tea party, Birthism, the constant political disrespect and lack of decorum and tradition). Anyways, for now let us dream of a world rule by love as the Bishop said. Let us sleep for just a little bit longer.
15
Through all the tabloid nonsense, the two half-siblings crawling out from under their rocks, the racist pin that royal wife wore to meet the now-Dutchess months ago, etc., I am impressed with how gracious and even-keeled Markle has remained. She is starting to remind me of the now-former First Lady, and not just for ethnic reasons.
18
The day blacks stop dwelling on their past, stop being obsessed about redemption and justice for what happened centuries ago and basically let go of the huge burden of history on their backs, there will be no stopping.
Letting go is critical to set big goals for the future and working hard to achieve them. That means living in the future and not wallowing in the past.
9
This quote is just relevant now as then: You are my opposer when I want freedom. You are my opposer when I want justice. You are my opposer when I want equality. You won't even stand up for me in America for my religious beliefs, and you want me to go somewhere and fight — but you won't even stand up for me here at home!
— Muhammad Ali,
The problem and the burden you speak of is not ours. It is America's. It is America who can not let go. Blacks did not commit the crime but we continue to do the time. No it is not our burden at all.
9
You might be right if the injuries were only in the past.
5
Princess Di's legacy.
16
Racism is a tradition that was invented here in the US. The rest of the world certainly has racists, but none are as bad as our country.
6
Joe - I would suggest you review history. Europeans traded slaves when they were running what was then the colonies (French, English, Dutch etc). Sorry - racism predates our country. Have a nice day
4
Wanna bet? As long as there have been humans, there has always been fear of people who don’t look like themselves, the “others”.
3
How about the beauty of the cellist's music??
30
Thank you, I couldn't agree more. Normally I don't care about the royal family, but it was beautiful to pause for a day and be in awe of love.
I am also loving Prince Charles more and more, from him walking Meghan Markle part way down the aisle, to him taking her mother's hand at the end of the service, it was so beautiful.
27
My husband and I did not watch the wedding live, but caught a lot on the morning news sort of without intending to! We found ourselves mesmerized by the symbolism, grace and love so obviously present. And yes, Megan, we did need that. It was a breath of fresh aid, and reminder of hope in a land that feels bereft of love or hope. And thank you for seeing it too!
21
You captured my thoughts on this historic wedding filled with authenticity. That's what made it so so special. Ms. Markle is assured of herself; she is self-confident in who she is a woman, a woman in love, an American, and as a world citizen. For me, that is her beauty that radiates so powerfully. These attributes however are not unique to the now Duchess of Sussex. The lesson was there on Saturday in full display: be true to who you are and not what others, be they friend or foe, family, male, black, white, American, British, or whatever other category we tend to place people in. Just be true to who you are. It is our greatest power. Harry has married his equal. In spirit, intention, and presence they are well-suited.
30
Perhaps because I was still suffering from jet lag upon returning from Paris, I naturally woke up at 4am and thought, well, why not--I'll watch the wedding! It was such a beautiful, joyous spectacle filled with hope and profoundity, thanks in part to the musical selections and the amazing African-American Episcopal minister's riveting address. Thank you Meghan and Harry for bringing us Americans, and the world, a refreshing hope so absent these past two years. I, too, thank you Mara for your editorial and especially pointing out the wonderful appropriateness of the Sussex title, something I don't recall the network coverage noting.
38
I watched and thought it a wonderful wedding, both mother and daughter looked beautiful. Meghan radiant and gorgeous did us Yanks proud.
Though everyone is crediting Ben E. King with his version of Stand By Me, it was written in the early 1900's (I believe) and was a Spiritual. Mr. King made it famous. The 19 year old cellist Sheku Kanneh-Mason made me cry as did the choir. It was well worth waking up at 6am to watch.
27
Thank you so much. Beautifully written. Your words express my feelings perfectly.
14
I’m white, I’m a woman, I’m 42, I’m French-Canadian (so not a fan of the Queen) and I’m American. I have a baby girl and I’m so afraid there will come a time when she will want to play princess all the time. And I too felt connected with and empowered by that whole royal wedding affair. It’s the commoner feminist part of it. It’s the coming from a single mom yoga teacher household. It’s the American dream, that anything is possible. I really hope she uses her new platform to drag attention and action on meaningful issues, hand in hand with Harry.
21
I had expected this wedding to be another proper, stuffy, traditional service. Was I pleasantly surprised! When the all black choir starting singing "Stand by Me" I actually got chills. How refreshing to see these changes! I did notice how uncomfortable some of the British guests were... oh well! I thought it was fantastic. Such feeling and emotion - such a positive change to a long tradition of stiff and proper British tradition.
I can't wait to see what other changes will come!
23
I also thought "I'll just watch it to catch a look at the dress", and was overcome by the textbook wedding gorgeous day and weather, the music, the sermon, the choice of a relatively smaller, intimate chapel....I didn't want to turn it off after seeing that. You can hate on the Monarchy, but you can't deny that was a very gorgeous ceremony.
23
There was so much healing for the Royal family, for the strength of the Queen to grow and change through the tragedy that occurred due to rigid rules of Monarchy, for the loving union of mixed race and culture and religion in this couple.
This young couple may inspire this next generation to right the wrongs of our generation by being an example of love, compassion, and strong leadership in bringing the world together in peace.
While living in such dark times , I felt a light of hope that we shall overcome the terrible events happening in the world as well as our country.
31
Thank you for this column. Saturday was a rare, feel good day that let us pause and enjoy the moment. The beautiful day, the colorful hats (some outrageous), the happiness of the couple, and the joy of the occasion all combined to uplift our spirits which were sorely in need of being uplifted. It was a day of coming together in this divided country. Parties celebrating the marriage were displayed on social media and on news channels as people got into the spirit of this special wedding.
The wedding was a glimpse of what is possible if we just view one another as humans, and not through the prism of skin color. The world paused to celebrate the love of two people, and for the day, we were unified. It was a fairy tale come true.
21
Thank you Mara for your beautiful, moving observations. I had planned to watch the wedding as I have been married to a Brit. for 30 years. I love the American and British union, it is so rich and strong. But what really moved me was the tapestry they wove from the melding of their diversity --displaying how much more we can be when we include all of our heritages as equal of respect and inclusion. The angelic boys choir juxtaposed with the deep, reverent gospel choir will live on in my memory in a seamless harmony --my own personal Balm of Gilead.
31
So I was kind of going over my day yesterday in order to figure out the best thing that happened and then I read this editorial and realized it was watching the re run of the Royal Wedding ! Now I realize it's the best thing that has happened in several days.
I (or we) really need more feel good moments like this. We need to see people in love demonstrating that love, with other people watching and a really good music. Yes one is black and poised and beautify and the other is British and royal and handsome. I really wish we had some of this going on in America. I'm pretty sure we do but it's not on TV.
Separately I can't find the name of the writer of this editorial any where on my on line copy. It is referred to by people making comments only. I now want to read more of her observations.
Thanks
Wynn
20
For gay observers the occasion was fraught with significance and symbolism too: Michael Curry has been a leading proponent in the Episcopal Church of the United States for gay rights and the equality of gay people (especially to marry in the church). I thought of this as he preached his sermon (which did seem a little over the top to me, but then I'm old and starchy—I never expected the Queen or Prince of Wales to stand up and say "Praise Jesus!" They could at least have worn a neutral expression). Wake up, Your Majesty and the Anglican Communion, for the times they are a changin'—for the better.
All this leads back to Duke Harry's mother, who, when all around me were dying, had the courage to visit an AIDS ward in London and shake hands with those suffering. In that simple act she demonstrated that people didn't need to fear tender casual contact. In short, Diana and her memory prepared the moment on Saturday.
345
Totally agree - as I watched the wedding I remembered vividly how his mother (The Queen of Hearts) publicly went to visit Adrian who was dying of AIDS at a time when no one dared touch anyone living with the virus. Harry has always been adventurous but I never dreamed that eventually he would be the one to inherit his mother's staunch belief in equality. There is hope for the monarchy yet! The "candle in the wind" is still burning strong.......Long live Harry & Meghan in health and peace.
52
Totally disagree. The Queen and all of the Royal family adhere to a strict doctrine of apoliticism which the self-aggrandizing preacher's political diatribe disguised as a wedding "sermon" violated needlessly. Even the bride was embarrassed.
14
Since when is telling people to love one another political? That was literally the gist of his speech. How people are extrapolating and reading politics into it is beyond me. Unless you are admitting that only one "side" believes in Love.
It would have been easy to pick this event apart on a number of scores. Thankfully. you chose not to do in favor of well -written positive sharing highlighting good feelings which surprised me and probably many others.
17
Let me echo Mara Gay.
Saturday's royal wedding left me liking the royal family tremendously. Harry's and Meghan's wedding was a celebration of diversity and the transcendent power of love.
28
Rev. Curry’s homily was just what we needed: an exhortation of what Jesus said was the greatest commandment: to love. So glad he had a global stage on which to remind us what Christianity really is about.
36
We saw most of it and it was just what we needed. All we seem to hear about is violence and strife, so you can't knock the feelgood factor. Although we are a much less religious country than the US, the almost unanimous verdict amongst my friends was that Bishop Michael Curry was absolutely fantastic. Is there any chance we could borrow him for a while?
28
Yes, we needed that Ms. Gay...desperately. A time to get away from the depressing atmosphere in this country today and remember that in other parts of the world there is a normalcy. It was like a breath of fresh air. Thank God that they kept the politicians out of the wedding party.
24
Nothing wrong with a little happiness in the news now and again. Nothing wrong with love, equality and inclusion making the front page. I wish them well. I wish us ALL well.
23
I love the royals. I adored watching Diana's son marrying a bi-racial American. It melted my little Jewish heart to hear the gospel songs & listen to an African-American Episcopal Reverend evoke love, love, love. Maybe one day, a non-Christian person will be welcomed into Buckingham Palace &/or the White House. That would be real cool, as well.
27
It floored me that it was actually Charles who chose the 'Stand By Me' chorale and walked the bride down the aisle and even the Queen got into the spirit by bringing Meghan's dog to the wedding. So Meghan's warmth and sincerity can melt even the stodgy old British heart.
My wife who is a born and bred Scott was moved deeply as she told me the story of the Queen's sister, Margaret, who was pilloried in 1960 for trying to marry a non royalist divorced man. She died of a broken heart never getting over it as most of the English Aristocracy including her sister smashed her dreams. How things seem to have changed. If it means anything, the best of wishes to this couple who seek to change the world.
26
Markle made the most of the platform she was given, and I too was drawn in and watched the whole thing! I'm excited about what she and her husband will do with their celebrity. It's crazy the the British Commonwealth includes 53 territories, I hope that they will all benefit from this couple's modern ideals and integrity.
15
The British Commonwealth is comprised of 53 member countries, most of which had been territories of the British Empire. If America hadn't separated from England it too could have been part of the Commonwealth. Prince Harry will act as a Youth Ambassador to the Commonwealth.
1
Even though I increasingly see the Royal Family as an anachronism, this celebration of diversity and inclusiveness seems to show they have a place in this world - as an example to the rest of us.
When a descendant of slaves can marry the descendant of a family which has ruled a country for 11 centuries, then it shows there is hope for all of us.
280
The Windsor dynasty has presided over the Crown since 1901.
3
When the contrast could not be greater between Royalty and the pretentiousness of Trump, that contrast could not be more immediate, more compelling, and more valuable. Thanks, again, Meghan Markle and Harry Windsor!
19
Well, if you want to be pedantic, they are descended from the Hanoverians so can trace their descent back to George I, but you can, one or the other, trace them back to William I, which was my very general point.
1
No - we did not need the tawdry display of wealth and power. Maybe Meghan Markle is just a nice person, but the monarchy has done nothing to hold on to this wealth and is not deserving of this adulation. They are the descendants of people who brutally colonized nearly the rest of the world. Yes , of course, one cannot deem culpable the descendants of past murderous regimes but when their current wealth and influence is an outcome of the riches amassed due to their past, then we should roundly condemn, ridicule and excoriate them.
1
Oh,chill out. Rich powerful colonials also have children who get married and have beautiful ceremonies that remind most of us of good and happy things. Nothing wrong with that.
11
As you point out the title that was bestowed on them, Duke & Duchess of Sussex, was last (and the only time actually) held by a prince who supported the abolition of slavery - and there has never been a Duchess of Sussex. Also, the Duchess's tiara was designed to hold a brooch that was a gift to Queen Mary (Queen Elizabeth's grandmother) at her wedding in 1893 from the County of Lincoln. I am quite certain that connection was intentional as well. And all of this was at the hand of Queen Elizabeth. That woman does not play!
31
Just when my feel-good-o-meter was down to fumes, along came the Harry-Markle spectacle on Saturday. Now my meter is brimming as it did on Obama's election night in 2008. How long do we have to wait for the next moment?
42
Fingers crossed for November 2018!
5
To see the faces of love and hear the voices of love, including from the Rev. Michael Curry, after 16 months of anger and hatred was awe-inspiring. Perhaps there's hope for humanity amidst all the poison after all.
32
I wish the new Royal couple well--having said that, my own difficulty in reading about this wedding was, reading on the same page of the NYT, levels of suffering where the monies spent on this wedding would have made a big difference in the lives of women and children living in deplorable conditions.
5
Ha! Me too! This cynical old heart thought I would catch a glimpse of the wedding mostly to see her dress, but I found myself teary eyed through most of it. He looked so in love with her. She was the picture of grace and dignity. For the rest of day, something was right in this world.
38
This 75 year old Vietnam vet, privileged white male went to high school in Birmingham, Alabama, in the 50’s when small children, both girls and boys, were being hounded and terrorized simply because they wanted to go to school.
Well, I am right there with you - cried enough for a generation or two. You, Megan Markle, and her new husband have made our world a little brighter.
Thank you. Good fortune always.
53
This wedding seemed to be the epitome of grace, happiness, kindness, and good manners, attitudes that seem to have disappeared from America in the last decade. If I were younger I would consider immigrating. And congratulations to the Queen and Royal family for bridging the gap of generations and race so perfectly. Perhaps we can hire some of them to give us lessons in civility. And long live the Queen!
20
A good choice of restaurant. Any Jewish grandmother would have been bursting with pride at the celebration of life and love at the beautiful ceremony at Windsor Castle.The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will be a source of inspiration and pride for the global community.
11
The marriage was British celebrating diversity! They have matured as a society in many ways far beyond the USA. It was a FABULOUS DAY! Thank you Mara Gay!!!
16
My wife and I are long time American Episcopalians.
We too went to Church on Saturday and skipped our normal Sunday attendance at our church in Chapel Hill as a result.
Like Mara we cried during the service. I cried a lot, especially when the choir sang “This Little Light of Mine” like my children did when they were little in our church in New Orleans.
The juxtaposition of the Anglican traditions of the English church with that of American Episcopal church, so movingly enunciated by Bishop Curry were estatically mind blowing. And we felt a special connection to Bishop Curry because before he became Bishop of the United States he was Bishop of NC.
What is lost in most of the commentary is that the two great imperatives of Christianity, to love God and love your fellow man, so searingly preached by Bishop Curry, are the touchstones of the Episcopal church and preached from the pulpits for as long as this 67 year old can remember.
There is so much darkness in the world right now and for a few moments on Saturday “the light shineth in the darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not.”
48
I wouldn’t have watched it but my wife had it on the TV . I found myself wiping away a tear or two . I even felt a little pride in being an american for the first time in about two years . Love is the answer !
42
I too, avoided watching the wedding because I didn't want to be swept up in the pomp of British royalty. But one minute turned into hours: I was swept away, riveted to the screen by the beauty, dignity and intimacy of this remarkable royal wedding. It was perfection. As a white American, I was thrilled to see African-American faces and music and sermons and a British black cellist enliven and embroider the admittedly impressive British royal traditions. I was bowled over by the beauty and dignity and emotional intensity of Meghan's Mom (what a gorgeous woman). I loved the intimacy of that wedding. I loved the poise of Meghan, that she walked down the aisle along, and of course the apparent love between the bride and groom. But more than anything, for me, the wedding was like "the balm of Gilead" of which Chicago's Most Reverend Michael Curry spoke. That wedding assuaged my soul, because I saw in an ancient church in England epitomized all that has fled the White House in America: dignity, decency, beauty, and yes, even tradition.
90
Beautifully said.
23
Agreed!
1
Thank you Ms. Gay for your informative perspective. I watched and enjoyed the spectacle from a much more superficial perspective, but had an inkling that, for many, the wedding might resonate on a much more personal level. Perhaps even more so than the election of President Obama, seeing something almost beyond belief (a black President!?) in reality may have an impact that translates into enduring change in a society. Stretching even further back, Tiger Woods winning his first Masters was on so many levels a seminal moment (captured by a great Sports Illustrated article), where it was put forth loud and clear that things weren't ever going to be the same. In a great and wonderful way.
16
I'm generally not a romantic, but I did catch glimpses of the ceremony and festivities and although white, I too had hopes for American, Britain and ultimately, the world. This young couple did more for racial equality & hope by falling in love and conducting an elegant bi-racial wedding than all the platitudes, sermons, speeches and pundit quips put together.
To have had Saturday in the midst of all the hate & chaos in America was beautiful & redemptive. There is hope for us all if young people (and some of us older ones) can still just see the humanity in each other without focusing on the differences, either physically, politically, ideologically, intellectually, nationally or emotionally.
Meghan & Harry brought us together, hopefully, for longer than a day. I hope Meghan & Harry can spread their message of love and inclusion far & wide and make the whole world love each other as much as they do.
Sometimes we need symbols. Meghan & Harry are more than spouses, they are now symbols of hope.
55
Eh, it was interesting that she was American. But seemed to me almost irrelevant that she was black. She is, after all, only famous for who she's marrying, not for what she's done, and isn't that the oldest story in the book?
But maybe also because I'm biracial. Married to an immigrant. Creating our multiracial, multireligious family and our kids surrounded by friends and classmates and teammates of every color, religion, and ilk under the sun. I'm no longer bemused by diversity or "intermarriage"; I just expect it. We should stop being so surprised by, our impressed with, our rainbow selves.
Of course that leaves us subject to shock when we discover whole swaths of the country do not think the way we do. Yet I'd rather go on with our lives, charging into America's diverse future with confidence and optimism, than feeling the urge to stop and 'splain to everyone else that seeing Meghan Markle up there makes me proud because she's black, or biracial. I say I hardly even noticed, and isn't that really the point?
25
"She is, after all, only famous for who she's marrying, not for what she's done, and isn't that the oldest story in the book?"
Yes, you're right... sexism is the oldest story in the book.
24
She is an actress.
1
What was extraordinary was not just another bi-racial marriage. What was extraordinary was how much the most exclusive institution on earth opened up to a bi-racial marriage -- how much it accepted so much that was foreign, particularly American, and then even African American in the core of its family and public life. And this in a country that jealously guards that institution and in a country that recently voted itself out of a financially advantageous economic bloc because it didn't want any more foreigners moving there.
If you can't see the significance of the marriage and the particulars of the wedding, then you are extraordinarily unperceptive.
The Meghan/Harry wedding was a sorely needed great day for the world.
219
I surprised myself by my interest in this lovely wedding. It hadn't even been on my radar yet I found myself thrilled by it. Maybe it's like the Reverend said, and I'm paraphrasing, two people fell in love and we showed up. Seeing love and civility and happiness was a wonderful RX for these trying times.
Well said. We needed that.
52
Very much so. Maybe they will send some of that to us.
3
Yes, Meghan Markle is absolutely fabulous and so is Harry, a man who has matured and brought depth to royalty. But then I think, how can America find some “balm in Gilead”? Our social illnesses, our fractured government, is badly wounded and crying out for some of the Bible’s balm. Where is our hero or heroine who will captivate and guide us to love and inclusiveness like that joyful and respectful wedding? I pray for the USofA.
42
Our hero and heroine were President and First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama. Our tragedy is that racism is so embedded in the American psyche that so many sought to deny it, and continue to do so. We went from the best of America to the worst in less than a decade. Tragic indeed.
14
After looking at the highlight video on my New York Times app and being surprised by the range of Black voices and musicians and traditions included in the royal wedding ceremony, I tuned into to watch one of the rebroadcasts. I told myself I’d only watch for a moment; but, instead, I watched for hours. As an African American, this wedding was but another reminder that, even as the current administrations on both sides of the pond attempt to divide us, large numbers of us embrace our increasing diversity. The world we have made—not our politicians, but us—sometimes falters and fails to live up to its ideals; but at its best, it arcs toward progress, and we cherish its moments of radical, beautiful inclusion and love.
67
Having just visited England, I am struck by the warmth of the people. I asked how Brits felt about an American marrying a prince, not mentioning the African American part, and found that people were happy with the new princess, as a biracial woman and American. They said times have changed and people are different now. I wish all Americans would have been more accepting of our first African American family.
95
Lovely essay, Ms. Gay. You are also terrific on Nicolle Wallace's wonderful "Deadline: White House."
21
Indeed. Thank you both, Harry and Meghan, for your service to the world, and for the love and hope you bring to all of us to make our tiny planet whole, kind and smart.
Marylouise Markle
State College, PA
43
Amen, Sister!
353
Just as the image of Barack Obama bending down so little Jacob Philadelphia could touch his hair flashed into your mind as you, like so many of us, were captivated by this wedding despite yourself, a similar image flashed into mine--that of precious little Parker Curry gazing in joy and wonder at the portrait of Michelle Obama. If an institution as stodgy as the British royal family can open its arms to a woman like Meghan Markel, if the refrains of This Little Light of Mine can ring out of the ancient hallowed nave of St. George Chapel, perhaps there is hope for America after all.
616
American hope began with a volent revolution against the British Empire and a violent Civil War against slavery. The civil rights era began in America. But the British abolished the slave trade and slavery before America. Meghan Markle is no Michelle Obama. Prince Harry is no American. Britain is not Americs.
Hats off to the black Episcopal Presiding Bishop of USA who "hit a home run" with his sermon on love!
563
Most blacks in America are not Episcopalian. Most blacks in America belong to predominately black churches and faiths where this style of preaching is the norm. He did okay.
1
He might be Episcopalian but he still PREACHED! And that's more than just "okay." The African-American Sunday preacher heritage can never by forgotten or silenced.
Oh her mom, just to see that lovely woman tear up. From the back of the bus to the front pew at the royal wedding. No words I need a tissue!
1322
I too cried, and think back to moments during the wedding--the lovely, smiling bridge; the groom wiping his own tears away; the little boys carrying the train; and Meghan's mother, so lovely and so composed, watching her daughter marrying the man she loves in a scenario we never would have imagined not too many years ago.
23
ME TOO!
12
Yvonne, I too got choked up seeing her there as well. What must have been going on in her mind as she watched her daughter marrying a member of the Royal Family? A truly amazing day for both sides of the pond.
13
Well said!!
166
"Who knew it would be so American?"
It DID have a lot of American - the good, classy and wonderful parts of American that we've missed SO badly this past year under the dirty thumb of a mean-minded, racist, sexist American president.
And thank you for the story behind the Duke of Sussex...good to know how fitting it is!
1103
I get your drift, Ms. Mara Gay, but I go to church every Sunday.
16
Royalty in this day and age is obscene. And making someone into a princess, even if she is black, is corrupting and not the love fest this writer is making it into.
87
Yet many of the most successful western democracies are constitutional monarchies. An inconvenient truth perhaps for the "progressive" crowd who just love to destroy things without offering any suitable replacement.
16
But the good those two will do will be formidable!!
13
There is a lot to be said for separating the head of state from the head of government. When they are combined, as in the US, we often end up voting in someone we'd like to have a drink with, or who we relate to, rather than someone we believe is capable of running a huge government and who is experienced and intelligent.
11
Meghan is the age Diana was when she died. She will continue what Diana started and I look forward to what she does next.
392
Mara Gay, I second all of your emotions except perhaps this very sweeping one which I don't understand:
"(dreams) I put away when my country’s betrayal of us became clear. Now I’m imagining the day when we wake up and remember who we want to be."
Americans of African descent can not be betrayed en masse because we are so inextricably a part of the country's influential culture and power structure. Trump's election was not a betrayal of us but an unexpected development owing to factors such as Hilary Clinton's inability to deliver a message that could appeal to a broad cross-section of the country and, to some extent that we do yet fully know, Russian meddling. We are a significant part of the America that is already awakening and that is already determining -- and not just remembering -- who we want to collectively be.
91
No one seems to be offering any insight into the enormous psychological pressure that is brought to bear on those two darling people who have captured our hearts.
Throughout the wedding Markle was as poised as anyone I have ever seen under the weight of incalculable pressure.
I hope whatever happens down the road that she remains psychologically intact and does not allow the pressure to bend her in so many ways that it breaks her. Ditto for Harry.
417
Such a relief to read about the wedding instead of Trump. Though the latest shooting dampened that relief.
162
Eloquently written. Thank you
129
Wonderful piece. Agreed on all points.
Now when can we ALL wake up from our American nightmare, 'in the midst of OUR captivity' and return to some hopefulness for possibility at home? Small request: Please make the NYT throw out this president. Small 'p'.
And draft Oprah?
86
Fourteen times during the ceremony, I read, Harry and Meghan looked at each other. Into the eyes. Into the soul. It's as if each was in the soul of the other. Trust. Belief. A "yes" of oneness. Ohhhh, yes, we needed that.
321
So glad no politicians were there.
335
How discouraging that women of color are being seduced by the "princess living happily ever after" fairy tale now that they have a role model. Lest we forget, women veiling themselves in white to get married is straight out of The Handmaid's Tale.
42
The only thing missing were the Markles.
The father evidently and unfortunately had health issues which prevented him from traveling. But couldn't the other Markles have been invited?
Was the estrangement with her half-siblings so deep that it could not have been reconciled for such an occasion? The family tried to sell out, but couldn't Meghan and Buckingham Palace have seen that coming and tried to preempt that before it happened by engaging with them instead of snubbing them?
Isn't such an occasion time to bury hatchets within the family and be a little magnanimous? Isn't that the role of a royal anyway - diplomacy, and building and restoring relationships? Why not start with your family first?
Several US presidents kept their family under wraps by engaging with them and not snubbing them, e.g. Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, etc.
Also, wouldn't a little reconciliation have been in perfect alignment with the message of love given by Bishop Michael Curry?
47
Not when they clearly have ill will toward her. If they had used the opportunity of her engagement news to attempt to reconcile, perhaps they might have been invited to her wedding. Instead they chose to exploit that moment for the airing of their grievances, dragging her name through the mud, then loudly complaining they weren’t invited. I’d like to see you invite people like that to your wedding.
I HAVE done so, and much to my regret.
People who think everything is all about them do not stop just because they are attending someone else’s wedding.
My narcissist-in-law brought her two dogs to my wedding. After being held emotionally hostage to all her dramas and need for attention for the next ten years, I had a life-threatening illness and an amputation. She responded by making it all about herself.
Now I am finally done.
Love will transform people when they are able to love. Ms. Markle’s half-siblings choose not to love, but they seem to expect it in return.
18
There is no way somebody outside a family can know what is going on within it. Ours not to carp but to assume that all are doing the best they can with the tools they have, and to accept that their privacy also matters.
13
Sadly the other Markles showed themselves to be part of Trump's America. Trashy, spiteful, tabloid fodder. Unfortunately this included dear old dad. They didn't deserve to be there. Trust me you'll hear from them from the grocery aisle.
6
Thank you, Mara. I am the white father of one of those black princesses. I was so touched that I wept. In a good way.
407
As others have commented, I tuned in primarily to see Meghan’s wedding dress, but was delighted by the whole ceremony—so much thought went into so many details. I, too, thought Doria Ragland was remarkable—elegant, dignified, radiant in her solitude—how difficult that role must have been.
The Queen was supportive of this marriage, this wedding, and honored Meghan’s heritage in the choice of her new title. For a 92-year-old woman, who has lived her whole life steeped in rigid royal traditions, to have learned from the painful divorces of her children is remarkable. This acceptance of her grandson’s choice shows her wisdom and worldliness, as well as the enduring love of her family. This wedding drew us all in because it felt genuine—we had the privilege of being part of the worldwide family attending this beautiful wedding. Wishing Harry and Meghan all the best!
1016
I don't think the Queen would have been as supportive if Meghan had chosen to highlight her Irish heritage.
Think of all the changes that Queen Elizabeth as lived through and how well she has endured all of them. Britain is fortunate that it has had such a wise woman as queen.
18
Spot on Barbara
11
Thanks, Ms. Gay, for capturing my feelings about this. I, too, needed a reason to root for love, hope, and diversity in the world. We are besieged by such a ferocious onslaught of draining reports on Trump-slime, school shootings, and existing-while-black. This wedding reminded me that I have not completely become jaded or gone dead inside as an emotional shield. A gospel choir in Windsor Chapel? The young cellist? The amazing Reverend Curry? Even Prince Charles accompanying Megan first, and later Ms. Markle? Hurrah! This wedding reminded me that there is nothing more radical, transformative, or essential right now than love. I, too, really needed that!
570
This wedding reminded me that there is nothing more radical, transformative, or essential right now than love. I, too, really needed that!
Can you transfer some of that radical, transformative and essential LOVE to HIVers and the mentally ill community in the world?
6
Just saw the royal wedding of Harry and Meghan on TV. I'm impressed by the independent spirit of them both, in not going along with conventions others would have them do. (because that's the way it has always been done).
I loved how Meghan took the initiative to ask Prince Phillip to walk her down the aisle. Equally impressed with Phillip's graceful acceptance.
With her acting background, one commentator wrote that Meghan Markle "is easily the most articulate of the royals". By virtue of their bully pulpit, charitable work, and popularity, these two have great potential to influence changes for the better.
Today's TV for me, was a welcome respite from all Trump, all the time.
172
Yes, we needed that, Thank you Mara Gay for sharing your feelings with us.
2
Prince Charles..but lovely sentiments
1
Megan was walked down the aisle by Prince Charles, Prince Harry's father. Prince Philip is Prince Harry's grandfather and is recovering from a hip replacement.
2
Thank you fellow commenters...... this series of comments may well be the most civil, hopeful, observant, thoughtful (and kind) comments I’ve read online in years.
And thank you Mara Gay, for writing the kind of touching, human observation that will leave us all a bit more hopeful because we read it.
Paul Klaassen
588
It was such a welcome respite from the regular news cycle. So much happiness, I almost felt like I was on vacation.
It is irritating to hear people say "We have real issues to be focusing on..." Well, we focus on those issues 24/7/365, and now we are back to focusing on it after a short 1-day hiatus. I bet the news anchors were glad to cover something happy for a change as well. It's actually like saying we shouldn't cover a story of a child who won a dance contest, because it's not considered a "real issue." There are a vast number of things that constitute news, and this is one of them. This very paper has sections running the gamut from politics, education, science, fashion, fiction books, to...wait for it...weddings. I watched it because I'm glad they are going to be focusing on bringing attention to important charities, like the one for women in India.
183
At one point during the wedding, I said to myself (through my tears of joy), this makes me proud to be American. My tears were of joy for the young couple, but also for the message of hope. There are so many wonderful, truly wonderful, people and traditions and messages that America has to offer, but they often times get drowned out by negative ones. On this world stage she (and Harry) embodied what is wonderful and good about America, heck, about humanity.
502
Funny...I said to myself how proud I was to be British!
16
Thank you Ms. Gay. What a wonderful reminder of the moment where we were able to step back and breathe, enjoying a moment together in time when chaos and division seem the new normal. I stopped and got my oil changed this morning and the men who were working on my car were talking about it. And they were being insightful, talking about Reverend Curry's speech and the things the bride had done in her life. Not one mention about her appearance. Well, that's not true- The guy who put a sticker in the window thought her dress was too plain.
111
I listened to the prayer Tribute by the Most Rev Curry and heard for myself the power of words to inspire and focus on what's truly important about the spirit celebrated by a wedding, royal or otherwise.
it was brilliant. as were other touches all designed by the couple to share what they're all about.
I'm not black so can't share the special feelings described so well by the author of this piece, but I can say this: for too long the monarchy has been perceived as rigid and out of touch.
surely no more. Grand-mum Queen Elizabeth has been groundbreaking in many ways, but this time she's been one-upped by her grandson and his new bride.
Well done indeed Duke and Duchess of Sussex!
193
A welcome change of joyful tears instead of tears of despair for my country. Millions of people around the world shared in their hope and happiness for Megan and Harry. Beautiful wedding ... beautiful couple !
144
Presiding Bishop Curry reminded us of the power
of one act of love. That is a real gift to be well
reflected on.
104
I decided to wake up early (4:00 am in Seattle) to watch it, and I'm glad I did.
I loved Pastor Curry's comments about the energy and redemptive power of love, and the comparison to fire (the battle between "God" and "Satan" is, in my opinion, a metaphor for humanity's ongoing battle between love and hate.)
And, as a music lover, I especially loved hearing the Kingdom Choir's beautiful rendition of "Stand By Me." Perfect choice for a song. After all, isn't that what the traditional wedding vow is about, standing by the person you're committing to, no matter what misfortune may befall them?
187
This was very beautiful ceremony, revealing what so many people seem to long for ... in a word, love in the sense of shared grace and authentic celebration of goodwill. The choices made by so many for the occasion were so right for conveying this spirit, at least in my view. But let’s face it: This was primarily a church service in which what is ultimately Real was sought for presence and blessing. Bp Curry obviously helped in this regard. In prayers and music throughout as well, “God” was mentioned repeatedly, and even the Trinity was referred to. It may be too embarrassing or too contentious for many to say, but to overlook the reconciling presence of God’s Spirit in causing the occasion to be rich in beauty and wholesomeness would be to miss its greater significance ... and one that does not compete and threaten, but rather makes joy complete.
61
I'm white and I needed it, too! And as it turns out, I needed this column, as well -- so thank you, Mara Gay for helping me find a little light in this dark tunnel.
373
Loved the music. Loved the sermon. Loved the spirit and the joy. Loved Harry and Meghan. ‘Twas a grand reminder that love lives..thank you very much!
144
We absolutely did not need this. It was a private affair and none of our primary concern. We have important issues facing our nation.
17
And how many of those issues could be quickly resolved if every person, including every politician, displayed principled love in their daily lives? Not romantic love, but principled love, a higher force for good.
241
I think we could use a few dozen more joyous celebrations...
155
My experience as well. I've only been reading about it, seen photos, bits on the radio, but I've gone from disdainful before to choked up and hopeful since.
90
Mara Gay, I second all of your emotions except perhaps this very sweeping one which I don't understand:
"(dreams) I put away when my country’s betrayal of us became clear. Now I’m imagining the day when we wake up and remember who we want to be."
Americans of African descent can not be betrayed en masse because we are so inextricably a part of the country's influential culture and power structure. Trump's election was not a betrayal of us but an unexpected development owing to factors such as Hilary Clinton's inability to deliver a message that could appeal to a broad cross-section of the country and, to some extent that we do yet fully know, Russian meddling.
We are a significant part of the America that is already awakening and that is already determining -- and not just remembering -- who we want to collectively be.
23
I am usually not a royal watcher, but, I watched the pictures and videos of Meghan Markel & Price Harry's wedding. I am so glad that Ms. Markel is now the Duchess of Sussex and a royal family member. Great example for today's America under an intolerant Trump! The browning of the British royal family is a sign of good things to come as far as race & ethnicity are concerned! The world is changing regardless of whether some people are ready or not!
119
As a white American man, I never saw this outpouring of interest and joy coming.
First, I don't understand why non-Brits, especially Americans who pitched the English out a couple hundred years ago, care about the royals. Or even England in general. Ever been there? I have. It's tiny and gray and crowded and I can barely understand the people. What language do they speak there, anyway?
I will allow that Led Zeppelin was a gift to humanity.
Two, I certainly would never have expected black American women give a rip about the royals. If they're not part of this part-Anglo guy's world, what do they have to do with you?
I find it odd. It's fine, people have a right to be interested in what they want to be interested in, and I can certainly remember what it was like when my daughter was into the whole princess thing. But still somewhat odd.
What gives?
19
From someone who you probably can't understand from the tiny, gray overcrowded Isle, it's OK not to get the pomp. We don't always, but Zeppellin as our best export? I'm bemused.
41
Britain is our closest ally. Their monarchy is a unifying, non-partisan, non-ideological institution. Most Brits, regardless of politics or ethnicity love the Royal Family. They have their scandals, but they also produce young men like William and Harry who served their country in wartime (Harry in direct combat) not as pretend prince soldiers, but real life servicemen. Whereas the Donald's sons have done what for our nation? And where was Donald when his country called? The Queen, however, served as in the military female auxiliaries during WWII, while her future husband was a combat naval officer (as was King George VI, the Queen's father, during WWI).
We could learn a lot from the British royals.
As for the race factor, Americans don't seem to realize that Britain has been a multi-cultural society for hundreds of years. It once had an empire stretching across the globe. Its subjects immigrated to England. Brits traveled, worked in, and served in colonies. Today, the Queen is the formal head of the Commonwealth. Many black countries retain her as their head of state.
I think Americans will soon tune out about the now Duchess of Sussex's bi-racial heritage. She's going to either become a part of the British establishment or become an estranged oddity that was Diana.
37
They do their language so well. Not their economy,
not their society...but their language...and their
Anglican Communion services which often
include a great Welsh hymn by William Williams.
15
One of the most important aspects of this wedding is that people who work for the charities they support, people who served with Harry in the military in Afghanistan, people he worked with on environmental causes in Botswana were among those invited to share their special day.
260
All of the white supremacists or white "nationalists" in the world, all of the Richard Spencers, the tiki torch marchers at Charlottesville can't stop love. Their only power is to hate, and while hate can be powerful, it is nothing in comparison to love and the good desire to bring people together.
It was also lovely to focus on something good and beautiful instead of the hate, distrust, and destruction that Trump and co. spread every day. A blessed relief.
.
274
And neither can the other racists like the black panthers or the nation of islam.
2
"This is exactly what I wanted to avoid, really, this buying-in, this excruciatingly fragile hopefulness about what is possible for a black woman, and about what is possible for Americans."
Actually, enslaved black Americans bought into the American Dream of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness" as soon as they became aware of it and black Americans continue to push to attain that Dream. David Walker's Appeal is an indication of the extent to which black Americans bought into the Dream.
Ms. Gay's desire not to let her desire to be treated like any other American overwhelm her knowledge of how black Americans have and are treated in the United States and defenses against the psychological impact of disappointment when her temporary relaxation of her guard against the usual gross treatment of black Americans raises its head.
Nonetheless, black American harbor the desire to melt into the American population and be able to pursue the American Dream without wondering if their pursuit is being hampered by racism instead of some fault of their own.
19
I was impressed with Meghan's Mother. Classy woman!
330
Lovely, touching, uplifting piece. Thank you, Ms. Gay. I hope we all will be able to conjure up and hold on to that feeling of "oh, this is fine, it can be like this" when times and events are not so magical.
65
Yes! We needed that! Now we just need to return our country's leadership back to people who celebrate diversity and welcome refugees and immigrants.
115
Like Mara Gay, I was not too sure of losing sleep over a wedding across the pond. And yes, I needed that! From the symbolism of Meghan's veil, with flowers representing each county of the Commonwealth, to the inclusion of a vibrant African-American presence, and the challenging sermon by the Most Reverend Michael Curry, we are reminded that in this time of division and dysfunction, we have the choice to love and change the world.
This wedding was a vision of how multiculturalism can work. And it all begins with not letting the status quo or the Twittersphere determine our values.
Dame Julian wrote, during a time of war, religious schism, and plague, on the meaning of God, and we, whether believers or not, maybe can take something from her work. ‘Would you learn to see clearly your Lord’s meaning in this thing? Learn it well: Love was his meaning. Who showed it to you? Love.... Why did he show it to you? For Love’.... Thus I was taught that Love was our Lord’s meaning”
Thank you Meghan and Harry for this respite and reminder that the power of love is infinite.
92
Mara Gay, you rule! You put into lovely words what so many of us felt watching that glorious day unfold. Thanks!
89
Ms. Gay, please know that you, like the Princess of Sussex, are a beautiful woman. No adjective other than beautiful is necessary to describe your physical attractiveness. Someday, hopefully soon, a Prince will enter your life; as he did in Ms. Markle's life.
23
It was a beautiful day for everyone. It was a global event. Somehow we have to get past racism, whether it's white or black or other. See everyone who was there, not just the whites or the blacks. It's really a stagnant concept to see things in just white or black terms.
46
We needed a break from Trump tweets and it was refreshing to watch the wedding from heaven. Never expected this surprise gift.
106
I too had not intended to watch the entire wedding telecast but found myself unable to turn away. Love in so many forms was on display and was contagious. There was the obvious love between Harry and Meghan, love of family, love of diversity, love of pomp and circumstance, love of tradition, the list goes on and on. The day was a welcome respite from the hate, bigotry, division, lies, and tweets that our country endures day after day.
226
Initially, I tuned in simply to experience a welcome bit of festive pageantry in this dismal and dispiriting time.
Yet as I watched the event, I derived a feeling of strength from a very unexpected source, Meghan's mother. I am a white woman in her 70's with a very tiny support system of blood relations and here was this mother, sitting unaccompanied in this huge chapel, observed by the world, yet self-contained, serene and gracious.
She has led a life of service as a social worker and yoga teacher, and it was obvious from her demeanor that she knows who she is wherever she is. Her clothes reflected quiet, good taste, yet she was distinctive in her choice of hairstyle and other details. Her clothing and carriage didn't scream out "See me, see me," as some of the celebrities' outfits did.
Her face reflected the many emotions that she was feeling at an event that was both intimate and very, very public, yet she didn't seem to be engaged in trying to obscure those emotions. She let them flow freely.
Her joy was palpable, and I'm guessing this is a woman who is no stranger to the feeling of joy.
It was inspiring to me to see a model of aging wisdom and strength.
Thank you.
1324
Beautiful observations. Thank you.
33
Also wonderful and certainly not coincidence was that both matriarchs, the queen and Ms. Ragland, wore complimentary bright, festive shades of lime green, which added a spring seasonal motif by two mature women who played a prominent part in producing the married couple, both fine adults now of their own making. (For my 2 cents and whether wealthy celebs or not, there's an exhale of relief to see settled 30-somethings choose to marry versus unformed 20-somethings rolling the dice.)
30
You clearly have no idea what it is like to live while black in America.
The real questions is where wwe and why did she not have any black blood relatives in attendance.
An accidental viewing indeed - but from here, a wedding in Windsor seems far preferable to one in Westminster :)
What Saturday's ceremony brought home is that we are all cousins, with millions of Americans related to Elizabeth II, and just like she, millions related to Charlemagne:
http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2013/05/07/charlemagnes-dna-and-...
We should all be nicer to our cousins, which many are realizing as social media flattens our communication mediums, which should also make it harder for Luddites to divide us - though there will be last gasps of the old stratified order trying to hold back progress, and apparently all sorts of manipulations.
The human quandary: Progress seems to always be a 2 steps forward-1 step back exercise.
34
Many, many Americans with New England heritage have an even closer relationship with today's young royals. Princess Diana was descended from Richard Lyman and Hepzibah Ford of Windsor, CT in the 1600's. How appropriate that their many times great-grandson be married at a chapel at Windsor Castle.
22
All the comments about watching for "just a few" make me smile; no matter how jaded and urbane we think we are, it wasn't just that it was a fairy-tale wedding that kept us riveted and watching for several hours. Even with all the pageantry, the hysteria of the jubilant crowd, the celebrity eye-candy, what kept us watching, IMHO, was the gorgeous solemnity of the entire ceremony, the fact that these two young people and the community that loves them had such tremendous profound respect for this sacred moment in their lives. The choir, the solo musician, the minister - all of these were Meghan Markle and her brave, elegant and devoted mother; who could imagine what was going through Daria Ragland's mind as she witnessed all of it. Meghan Markle will likely become one of the most photographed, quoted and filmed women in the world, as Diana was, and I'm hoping that she will use wisely her platform as an ambassador, to do phenomenal good, as Diana was able to do despite her many challenges.
269
This year has been painful. My state has experienced two high profile mass shootings. Political integrity is endangered. So-called Christians (Evangelicals) give a mulligan to a sexual predator elected by a minority to be president. But for one day I left that all behind as I viewed in realtime elements of my culture interfacing with British tradition. I'm an American mutt with family dynamics not dissimilar to the lovely bride's - and an Episcopalian. I watched the service twice and wept both times at the bishop's words of love. We could all relate to this event. "A young couple falls in love and we all show up." Thank you, Mara, for sharing.
409
I hope the use of the royal "we"can include this old white guy. I was charmed too and I have been, actively, avoiding this subject for the last 6 months. So I was getting all this information first hand (she's divorced? I didn't know that). Charming from beginning to end. The boys loved each other, the relatives loved each other, the youngsters in the bridal party looked like they loved every minute of it, the couple seemed truly in love and the celebrities, as usual, loved themselves. If you asked me 6 months ago what my response to the royal wedding would be, my last thought would have been"Charmed, I'm sure".
163
The weddings we attend mostly show what the bride and groom want you to see of themselves. Unless you are family or initimate friends, most guests are merely attending a nice party in celebration of a couple's intent to share life together. Here's we saw a spectacle wedding, but one laden with things the couple want you to think about, not merely a display of how special and wonderful they are (or think they are). Here we were reminded that context matters, that inclusiveness is something that can be actively accomplished, that tradition can be respected while new ways of thinking are forged, that people matter more than ceremony, that prominence brings attention that can be redirected toward a vision of shared experience and common ground, that simply sharing events give us a chance to step away from ourselves and to look back and see ourselves in our best light - a moment when all is right.
176
What an eloquent and insightful comment, MRJ. I felt the royal wedding was tonic for our weary souls and one of the first rays of hope that I, at least, have felt in months.
14
From what I've heard being part of the royal family is rigorously demanding of time, energy and politesse. The new Duchess appears to be strong, thoughtful and kind, with politically inclusive views. She was also in a position to wrap up her old life and make a commitment to her new one, transitioning smoothly from one to the other.
This romance contained surprises for me, as I initially knew nothing about Meghan Markle, including her ethnic background. I was surprised that a white prince from a very stuffy, traditional background was open to falling in love with someone outside those traditions, but I am also delighted. The wedding itself seemed to confirm the wonderful aspects of mingling different backgrounds to create a whole that is bigger than the sum of its parts.
This romance, this wedding, filled me with joy and hope. I wish the happy couple the best and hope they continue to learn from each other for the rest of their lives.
153
Thank you. Yes, it was an uplifting ceremony of great beauty and grace to watch, in every respect, and perhaps even transformative for British society. I am relieved that you know who was not in attendance, to tarnish by his mere presence the message of love, and hope, that reverberated in the Chapel and well beyond.
106
Ebony and Ivory in perfect harmony.
What’s not to love ?!
(Aeioum......)
75
Wonderfull to see such a clearly devoted couple get married.
And extra kudos to Meghan's mom, Doria, who, all by herself, held her own on the world's stage that day with calm, grace and dignity.
659
Thank you, Mara, for a wonderful personal reaction. My take on this is that it had a sense of spontaneity and genuineness that has been absent in the pomp and circumstance of this family's public appearances, including the groom's parents' wedding. My usual reaction to this type of royal stuff is, "If you can fake sincerity, you have it made." But this time, the sincerity was too concrete to be fake. May they have a long, happy life together.
103
Thanks so much, Ms. Gay, for sharing your deeply personal response to the wedding of Meghan and Harry. It was honest and hopeful -- two qualities we all can use right about now.
73
I, too, cried. These young people are so much in love, and all the support and love from their families, and from the world is a wonderful thing. I hope their lives are long, healthy, and happy. Why can't there be more love like this everywhere, and in everything? Why can't people accept and love each other for their differences, as well as for their similarities. And why can't people be fair and reasonable? And why are there always people who hate others because of their race, their religion, or because they are poor, sick, elderly, handicapped, women, and/or children. Why are there people who want to take everything away from the most vulnerable in OUR American society, in particular, and give it all to the wealthiest and most powerful? I think if you would ask the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex, they would know that this was wrong. -- As to someone who mentioned the cost of the wedding, there was piece done this morning on CNN by Fareed Zakaria, and he delineated all the millions of pounds brought into Britain's economy each year because of the royal family. And the young royals especially do excellent charitable works.
122
The wedding costs includes amongst the usual, things like road closures, security barriers, police planning and marshalling the route, first responder crews on standy and anti-terrorist teams etc etc. A heck of a lot of people pre and post event which cannot come out of day to day public sector budgets. People can be a little uncharitable especially where tax is concerned. The cost to each person in the UK was less than £1. Tax is a responsibility, a bit like philanthropy. Once one gives there is little say over how the money is spent.
It was a fantastic ceremony and she was stunning. A beautiful woman deserves a good wedding, so Meghan can have my meagre contribution anytime.
56
This is a delightful, hopeful article. And I hope more articles in this vein are forthcoming. Though they may not be on such a grand scale, they are out there. Despite the politics circulating, there are many fine families out there. Please, please report their stories.
52
Someone extolled Rev Curry's sermon as "going fifty in a thirty mile zone." I could barely breathe I was so excited. What a breath of fresh air to hear that African American voice ringing out in one of the stuffiest, whitest places on Earth. I too thought some of the Royals were going to faint, but everyone made it through. It was like seeing the seed of a new culture being planted right before our eyes. Many thanks to Harry and Meghan for the way they chose to get married; how they used the ceremony to let us see the joy that is created when races and cultures coexist instead of fighting for dominance.
959
Here they like to remind people that the missionaries didn't bring the gospel; it was already there in the indigenous people... this time, an emissary, a descendant of black slaves, brought the gospel of love to people (all of us) who may not have known how much they needed it. The gospel of redemptive love. It was a wonderful wedding, and God came to church, too! Thank you, ++Michael Curry. Thanks, Meghan and Harry.
154
Speaking as someone who, fortunately, is not afflicted with religious-itis, I found Curry's fifteen-minutes of attention grabbing to be the low point. Hopefully someone made a mental note to put limits on the future participation of showmen disguised as "reverends".
65
Do not forget that Archbishop Desmond Tutu is also the (retired) "primate" [senior bishop and leader] of one of the daughter churches of the Church of England. There is leaven in many parts of the lump that is Anglicanism.
20
The global good will and human spirit of this wedding derives from Prince Harry and his late mum in harmony with Meghan Markle. Thank you All, the world needed that !
110
I also watched it sort of against my will.
One great star was Meghan’s mother. She was exquisite in every way. Showing up, but being herself.
She was also the best dressed woman there, except the bride. That sleek hat! Those British women looked like they had flower pots on their heads. She was wonderful.
For me, the significance of the African-American elements in the service was Harry saying that HE also wanted to get something from this marriage. It was not just the prince bestowing favor on this commoner who gets drowned in the sea of the Royal Family. He wants her and her culture to be part of their future together and their home.
I would guess that to someone with his background, her culture represents, among other things, genuineness, freedom and warmth. Diana tried to achieve those. Harry is determined to do so in his home and his own future family. He seems to have real values.
God bless them all!
1173
Kudos to you for pointing out Harry’s whole embrace of his wife’s life, culture, heritage. It’s been wonderful watching this man mature and become a role model of grace, individuality, and his mother’s own son.
72
What was missing was any black family members other than the bride and her mother feeding the myth that the black family is 'a tangled web of pathology that would benefit from a period of benign neglect'.
What is up with that?
3
a perceptive observation... Perhaps, there were no first cousins on her mother's side that she could have invited...
I don't know enough about Meghan's family tree to wager a bet.
1
I accidentally started watching it. Then came the hats, and I didn't want to miss a single one. Then there was Harry and William (why on earth do I think I know these two??) walking down that little road, smiling and chatting, and I thought well I'll just stick around until I see the dress...hours later the sun was up and so was I. The whole thing was a tribute to love from start to finish. What a balm after an endless cycle of sad and frightening news stories. Thanks, Meghan.
771
DMS: a lot of us feel like we know these boys because we woke up at the crack of dawn years ago to watch their parents' wedding and then their mother's funeral. Yesterday was a breath of sunshine and fresh air for me and I hope for the cable news anchors who also got to take a break from covering dead students and Trump's lies.
234
Charles dumped Diana. Andrew dumped his wife too. Henry VIII did much worse to his wives. The British royals moral degenerate perfidy shines and stinks 'like rotten mackerel under a full moon'.
1
First we are souls ... congratulations to these two lovely young souls on the occasion of the beginning of their marriage. The expression of love was definitely palpable. The sharing of cultures was exceptional. The best of two cultures ... I think everyone enjoyed it. I look forward to hearing more about Harry&Meghan's journey together, from this moment on ...
123
Thank you for your honesty Mara. You highlighted so many experiences that I shared while watching, that I feel as if we are friends. I also just wanted to see the dress, and when the bride started walking alone, in front of the whole world, I started crying. This was not a wedding, it was an inspirational movie!!!
141
Unable to sleep, I decided to
Just watch a bit of the royal wedding till I became bored and could resume my slumber. Not this time! Pure joy to see these two sharing their happiness with the commoners of the world. A delightful BBC commentary had me smiling and hooked for the whole darn show! Gorgeous weather, jubilant crowds, historic architecture and a beautiful love story took me back to that childhood belief in happily ever after. Thank you
and long life together—Meghan and Harry!
300
We agree, it was inspiring.
3
I loved the Bishop's sermon and the inclusivity but was struck by the incongruity of it all since spending millions on a wedding and hundreds of thousands on a dress is not sharing the love with the poor and sick and homeless but rather giving more and more to those who already have so much already. Better a simple and inclusive wedding with all the millions spent on this one donated to good causes.
17
I believe that in lieu of gifts, guests were asked to contribute to one of a list of the couple's chosen charities.
87
Not everything is about money. But even if it were, this wedding pumped millions into the British economy.
42
But it was shared; across the world. When Jesus's first miracle was at a Canaan wedding, it's OK to celebrate and do it well. It is these very occasions that provide opportunities for camaraderie, the making of new friends, enjoyment and giving others our support. The crowds lining the streets at Windsor will testify to this.
Harry and Meghan will be giving back plenty in their public service and the British people need to be part of that journey from the start.
53
I also have never watched a royal wedding, but something drew me to this and I am so grateful. This wedding was one of the most beautiful and uplifting ceremonies I have ever witnessed. I will be replaying Bishop Curry's homily whenever I need some uplifting of my spirit--I have a feeling that I will be watching it often.
167
This is a truly global couple, in fact and in deed, which is a good thing for Britain, I think.
William and Kate are of England, as they probably should be since they will one day be King and Queen, but Harry and Meghan are global, symbolically and literally.
I wish the Duchess the best as she transitions to being a British-American. As we face greater global threats, it's important to have world leaders who are good brand ambassadors for humanity and civility.
I hope that we will vote for more of this in America, in this election and future elections.
439
I wish for the best for both of them, not just the Duchess. And I fear for both of them. She clearly loves ceremony, pageantry, public splendor; does he? I suspect he does not; his background is full of action, mischievous at times, and, at times, at least vaguely heroic.His background doesn't seem full of what she likes. It may be that they do not get along well, after the glow wears off. But who really knows?
17
I'm surprised to find myself watching the ceremony this afternoon (Sunday reruns). I have never in my life watched a royal wedding, but like Ms. Gay, I'm actually touched by this one. MeToo, but in a good way.
How refreshing, too, that Meghan did not promise to obey her husband, but to protect him, as he vowed to protect her.
291
“Obey” left the Anglican marriage vows many decades ago. Princess Diana did not promise to obey; nor did I, and I am approaching the 50th anniversary of my wedding in the Episcopal Church. Maybe it lingered longer in other denominations.
14
What a marvellous wedding with a brilliant address by Bishop Michael Curry. I hope Harry and Meghan have a great future. She certainly represents the best of a great country and I think she and Harry will make a great contribution to the life of the UK and the Royal Family.
167
I am so glad I got up and watched the wedding.
Love and hope, inclusion and culture, prayers for peace (that we know will be follow by action) , all played out for all to see and all to witness, on a global table where thetis room for everyone.
Imagine that.
I wish them all the best. I really do.
183
She could have distanced herself from her black heritage but instead she chose to celebrate it. I loved that they chose to highlight black history through the pastor, the choir, and the cellist. This is a couple who clearly love each other and embrace each other's differences. Queen Elizabeth obviously put a lot of thought into their new title. I hope they have a happy life. Being a symbol is an awesome responsiblity but this couple makes it look easy.
1299
Agreed. Good for her. I doubt anyone expected the service to include so much of her heritage. Nevertheless, the sermon was too long and too repetitive.
59
Love is the answer, as we saw on Saturday.
Meghan and Harry came from different worlds, but they love each other, and that means the most.
Their guests were from different worlds, but love brought them together.
And people the world over, from too many worlds to count, celebrated over the ceremony of love.
Love is a universal. It doesn't matter who one is or what kind of love one feels for another. Love makes, and keeps, us human.
421
Don't we usually hear about the message of love at every wedding? Are people really that new to love?
You’ve lived in this country for the past 18 months, and can ask, seemingly without irony, “Are people really that new to love?”
Flip yer 8-Ball. Signs point to “Yes.”
5