If DJT were invited to McCain's funeral, it would be nearly obligatory for him as sitting president and titular leader of McCain's party to give a eulogy. Can you imagine what that would have been like? No wonder he wasn't wanted there.
23
Melania looks so happy; something we never see when she stands next to her husband.
33
The headline writer missed the point .
The president is NOT invited .
13
To all those denigrating a dying man's request, especially despicable Orrin Hatch, I ask one question. If you had been tortured as a prisoner of war for five years and a draft-dodging hypocrite publicly dismissed your sacrifice, would you want that "person" at your funeral?
46
Wonderful photo but where's Jimmy Carter, best ex-prez ever?
12
At the moment he is in attendance and presiding over America’s funeral.
22
Alas, if Trump HAD been there (at Barbara's funeral photo), he would have shoved George H. W. out of the way to get to the front (and then done that Mussolini thing with his chest and chin).
25
Really, who wants a loose cannon like him rolling around a funeral? He couldn't resist using the occasion to blow hard over the corpse about his own greatness.
17
I sure wouldn't want him at my funeral. He might open his big yapper.
11
No one wants a vulgarian at any public celebration. No one wants Putin's puppet at their funeral, even Putin, believe me.
32
Inviting your former political opponents to your funeral is an act of grace. Telling someone as "proudly offensive" as Trump to stay away is equally appropriate. McCain is a hero to be admired. Trump is a mendacious charlatan to be despised.
53
Trump is toxic; he poisons everything he touches. McCain is well within his rights to request that Trump stay away.
28
I can think of 3 US citizens recently released from prison in North Korea whose funerals President Trump will not need to go to.
3
He will obviously be skipping all funerals. They are about the person who died. He is only interested in events about himself.
40
Trump's not welcome at my funeral, either.
34
We may pile criticism upon criticism of Donald Trump, and we would be justified. He is a disgusting man, wholly unfit for his office. And Sen. McCain is right to insist that this loathsome man not attend his funeral.
But we must remember one thing. Trump did not seize power. Some forty percent of our "fellow Americans" put him there, and will work to re-elect him. Their support of him remains rock solid, despite more than a year's worth of the most disgusting behavior by a man ever inhabiting the Oval Office.
We must reject Trump supporters, as Sen. McCain rejects Trump. Like Trump, they have no basic human decency. They're content to look the other way when he slurs those with disability and brags about sexually assaulting women. Those who don't look away actually cheer him on.
Trump supporters loved it when he told them that neo-Nazis and the KKK are some very fine people. They loved it when he said he wanted more immigrants from Norway and not from those countries he described with language not fit for this paper. They're not embarrassed by his outright racism. They're thrilled by it.
Trump supporters are exactly who he is. And as he is increasingly not welcome in decent society, neither should his supporters be.
71
One of your better ones. Thanks, and yes, it's a crying shame. Literally.
8
Even if the embarrassment in chief hadn't been so horrible to John McCain in the past he still couldn't be allowed to go. DJT would try and turn the event into something that is actually about him. Just like every other event he attends around the world. That's why he so easily manipulated by other leaders.
North Korea/Russia/China/Israel are playing him/us like a piano. He's going to withdraw our troops from Korea....just watch.
16
Anyone who has paid the slightest bit of attention to the life of Donald Trump for at the very least past 30 years, knows that he is the embodiment of crass. He is a shameless self-promoter, faults/lies about his wealth and when he speaks most of what he says is unworthy of anyone wishing to be taken seriously by society let alone polite society. He truly is the embodiment of ’ugly American’.
Obviously, his mother failed to instill proper manners and behavior in him as a young child. I wouldn’t want him at my funeral either.
30
Normally, having the President of the United Stares do a eulogy at your funeral would be a high honor. But, can you imagine the tension felt by the McCain family during a speech made by Trump? First, Trump has said deliberately cruel things about McCain. Who would want to overlook that, at their beloved family member's funeral? And, second, Trump is known for "riffs" during scripted speeches - jokes that aren't jokes, asides that make no sense, digs and dopey comments that make the listeners wince. John McCain gets to make this call. His family is well within their rights to want to give John McCain a great send-off. And, ps, this isn't new. New York society members never wanted to invite Trump to ANYTHING. He is the crude, weird, awkward guy who nobody wants their placecard next to. The ick factor cannot be ignored. Good for McCain and his family to pre-plan a suitable funeral attended by dignified people. Trump doesn't belong there.
34
Mine, for one.
6
Trump could go to the Nunes funeral. He could also go to the Arpaio funeral. How about the funeral of Roy Moore? He could eulogize them all.
22
Hubert Humphrey invited Richard Nixon to his funeral. How times have changed.
13
No, it's not petty to not invite Trump. The message is "This is not normal."
21
Trump crossed a line he nor any of his supporters will ever explain away regarding his comments about McCain’s capture during the Vietnam War. Trump most wear those comments around his neck like a dead albatross.
24
The answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind.
3
It is quite sad that our elected officials have become so centered on their base/tribe that they cannot contemplate sharing the same space for the simple reason that they are all Americans.
We are all suffering from the absolutists at the fringes of both major parties who declare that simply talking to a member of the opposite party is tantamount to treason and the very idea of compromise is anathema.
We have fallen victim to the problem of a nation in a constant state of “war.” Most find it easier to fight with the “near enemy” (anyone who disagrees with our party/tribe) than to actually try to find a way to defeat the real enemy who threatens our nation. Lies, half-truths, innuendo, inflammatory words, and out-of-context quotes become the stock and trade of any discourse.
Franklin’s warning: “…if you can keep it.” Rings true to this day.
4
I am not responsible for the election of DJT, and I hope he will quit before he ruins my country. But I do feel shame when he ventures forth into countries other than the USA. He does not represent me at all, nor does he represent millions of Americans. I feel shame when I think of what his children have had to endure , what his wife must live with, and what the decent people who must work with him have to live with. The majority of Americans who voted in the last presidential election chose Hillary Clinton who would not have brought shame to me.
23
Trump attends a funeral every day, the one for the death of decency in American politics and public life. The pall bearers are lead by Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan.
31
My first thought was about his children. If he were my father I would not be able to stand the sight of Trump at my father's service. Good move by McCain whatever his motivation. And I wouldn't want Melania there either.
22
I'm a little tired of beatifying McCain for a couple of moments of decency in a career all too frequently marked by blind support of destructive conservative GOP ideology. A vote against the tax heist bill might have given the dying McCain more credibility, even to true conservatives, as he could have used its deficit-billowing endgame to justify a no vote. But he is and always has been too much of a GOP hard-liner to actually stand up for the majority of Americans. Let's hope his successor is a little more compassionate.
16
I wonder how many Iraqi funerals George W. Bush has skipped, or how many funerals Hillary and Obama have skipped in Libya. Both invasions were a disaster and created dysfunctional and broken down countries. How many funerals would McCain have skipped if he had become president? His preferred solutions to problems seemed to have been to throw bombs.
So far Donald J. Trump managed to skip much less funerals than the above mentioned characters and I hope he keeps up the excellent jobs.
Count the human lives, get the facts straights and Trump is winning big.
2
McCain and Trump have each accomplished things the other hasn’t and couldn’t. That should equal mutual—if grudging—respect.
If life is all about one's self, how can one be expected to be subservient, regardless of the circumstances?
3
Senator McCain has every right to make his wishes clear. He has served his country his entire life, in the military, as a POW, and as a senator. That patriotism and honor are his, and tributes from this nation's former commanders in chief and presidents will pay tribute in a sincere expression of gratitude, sorrow, and honor.
Trump would defame the event, disturb the mourners, and make it about himself instead. Back in February, Trump assured Meghan McCain that he would back off his criticism of her father. Instead he insulted him again at CPAC later that month. He can't help it: he was born with a golden jackboot in his mouth.
In 1863, Abraham Lincoln wrote, "Honor to the Soldier, and Sailor everywhere, who bravely bears his country's cause. Honor also to the citizen who cares for his brother in the field, and serves, as he best can, the same cause -- honor to him, only less than to him, who braves, for the common good, the storms of heaven and the storms of battle."
11
Dear Frank,
This is the second op-ed piece in a row that you hit out of the park. If ever there were a college course on civility -- these two essays would be required reading.
Keep up the good work.
Byron
16
I love this new feature where the columnist replies to some of the comments. Thank you for adding this. I have always enjoyed the (mostly) insightful comments nearly as much as the original column.
9
what a beautiful article, Mr. Bruni. Brought tears to my eyes. The slash and burn of DJT as opposed to the decency of all the people in this picture.
12
It is astonishing that there are millions of people, MILLIONS, who don't see that this emperor not only has no clothes, but, no couth, no class and no ability to view anything outside of himself.
Where are the adults in the room? When will they stand up?
This remarkable photo demonstrates the epitomy of dignity, grace and class. Thanks, Frank, for reminding us what that looks like.
28
Sen. McCain's decision to not invite Trump reminds me of an obituary of a friend of mine. She'd passed away just a few weeks after Trump's election. Her obituary literally stated, " She is happy to be missing the Trump presidency."
42
McCain wishes, whatever they are, for whatever reasons need to be respected...not dissected. Personally, I think Trump should volunteer for the first manned mission to Mars, hey should speed up the launch date, and get him on his way.
17
And Jimmy Carter? No former president ranks higher than President Carter on the decency scale. Mr. Bruni, any word about why he wasn't in attendance?
3
He sent his regrets because he was traveling overseas, and Roselyn Carter was still recovering from recent surgery. I agree with you. I've been at a Carter Center event and think Jimmy Carter is close to a living saint.
13
There are at least two other Republicans who McCain ought to exclude. Both Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan have been instrumental of aiding and abetting Trump's madness. If either or both of those "leaders" had human spines, the country wouldn't be so close to the edge of disaster. Together, those two could force Trump to howl into a vacuum.
18
Unfortunately, Trump will be present at the memorial services for America. He is presiding.
19
I greatly appreciate that Frank responds to readers comments. He engages people seriously which makes it important for me at least not to just dash something off (or think not a real person is on the other end of a comment) if I am critical of something he has written.
Here's a link to a piece I wrote about the comment section.
https://hawansuyo.com/2018/01/24/comments-robert-roth/
6
I can't confirm it, but last night I read that Trump had sent a condolence letter to the family of one of the Parkland victims, but only one. The family he sent the letter to are Trump supporters while the other families are apparently are not.
The man is odious. Why would anybody want him anywhere near them, dead or alive.
30
I suggest in the spirit of humor, spite or both notify the WH, upon the death of a loved one, the President is not invited. Hopefully the deceased would be appreciate the lighter side as well as agreeing to the spite.
5
The problem with having Trump attend ANY funeral would be the spectacle of him bragging that he was still alive, while the person being honored was not. I can just hear him at Senator McCain's service.... "I like people who are alive..."
30
Mr. Bruni
Say what you will about the President of the United States speaking at the U.S. Naval Academy Graduation, but, Mr. Bruni,
Three Americans are coming home with Mr. Pompeo.
3
Well that just rights all wrongs, doesn't it!
17
It was McCain who first called Donald Trump's supporters "a bunch of crazies." Then, Donald Trump hit back with his comments about McCain being a prisoner of war. In short, if you go back and review the records, it was McCain who started the brouhaha with Trump in the first place. If he doesn't want Trump at his funeral, that's fine, but the record should reflect with total honesty that it was McCain who insulted Trump's supporters in the first place. And, Trump did the only thing that he knows how to do, he hit back.
1
The common thread of the people in that photo from Barbara Bush's funeral is that they understand how to be adults.
The Orange Menace is best left at home during funerals and weddings -- like most 3 year olds, he hasn't learned how to deal with occasions at which he is not the center of attention.
25
Wow. I was not aware of Trump’s comments re: Princess Diana. Just when I think Trump can’t get any lower in my estimation, he does just that.
24
This is a no-win situation. If Trump were to attend the funeral, the stories would all be about him instead of McCain. But, in being disinvited, the story is still about Trump, but at least it includes McCain. The only way to affect Trump is to NOT talk about him. Good luck with that.
9
Well let's see. He missed the funerals of all killed in Parkland and Vegas et al. And of Heather Heyer and Otto Warmbler
—but he'll be right there to meet the three released from North Korea when Pompeo returns.
8
Not for anything but I'm pretty certain that previous presidents did not attend every funeral for victims of violence. Bad analogy Naples.
1
I promise I won't go to his if he promises not to come to mine.
(Sorry, Yogi.)
5
I would not want him coming to mine either.
9
While most would see McCain’s rejection of Trump as justified I suspect that Trump will wear it as a badge of honour because it proves that he is not one of “them”. The word “shame” is not in Trump’s vocabulary except where it applies to other people. You have made an excellent point, Mr Bruni but it will fall upon deaf ears when it comes to Trump, and sadly, most of his base.
8
How many facts will Donald Trump malign or ignore? The picture of first families together brings tears to my eyes. Visual evidence that our once great country was lead by great leaders who upheld the values of respect, sanctity, compassions and law.
Trump is a fungus on our nation, and is shaping the nation in his own image. Racist, ignorant, impatient, lawless, and bankrupt. If we needed a recalcitrant standup, Don Rickles was available for decades. Trump should be doing his standup campaign routine in one of his failed casino saloons instead of the Rose Garden of the White House.
16
The difference between Trump and Rickles was that in his real life, Don Rickles was known to be a kind, charitable and lovable person. And Trump is never funny, merely crass and mean-spirited.
8
Aside from Trump's obvious "pariahisness," he simply takes up too much oxygen. He has to be the center of attention at all costs. Even if McCain wanted to let bygones be bygones, Trump's presence at the funeral would overshadow McCain's legacy. He is simply incapable of thinking about other people with the exception of how they can be used to further his needs including his insatiable need to belittle and insult.
His obnoxiousness is so well understood that the WH doesn't even bother to deny the reporting that he and Melania have separate rooms and separate lives. There is not one citizen in the entire world who batted an eye over that "well duh" news.
I'm a nobody and I wouldn't even want this guy anywhere near my life or family. He's toxic.
15
"How many funerals will Donald Trump have to skip?" Now that he has pulled the plug on the JCPOA ("Iran Deal" for the uninitiated), how many more funerals will there be? How many American servicemen will be called to make the ultimate sacrifice? and for what? For Donald Trump. Oh, America, what have you done?
11
I hated going to funerals when i was 12.
7
Trump cannot subvert the base--in every sense of the meaning of that word.
4
And here I thought from the headline you might be referring to the many upcoming military funerals of those Americans who will die fighting in the Middle East as a result of Trump's maneuvering.
10
Trump is like that crazy cousin, family member who wrecks every event they show up to. Who has to make everything about them...no matter the circumstances. I cant imagine Trump has ever deferred to his sons or daugters at their own special events. At some point, pointing out how much he spent, and how great a dad he is for doing it. Ive been watching him for decades and have never thought he would be a good guest any where...and by all reports its true. He shows up, crosses the room in a "hey look Im here, how lucky you all are" attitude, then slips out. Then boasts about how he made the party a success.
It really would be fascinating to get him under a microscope, literally...psychiatrically, and forensically...see whats truly going on. Get an MRI of his brain under certain conditions and stimuli. See how he responds to his own images, and words...and tactics.
7
Trump represents the worst aspects of our country. McCain has drawn his line in the sand and is reminding us that you are known by the company you keep. All decent Americans should follow his example and reject Trump and everything he stands for.
10
Aren't Americans embarrassed that Prince Harry has been unable to invite politicians with whom he has close personal relationships to his wedding, because not inviting the odious Donald Trump would have caused a diplomatic incident?
I applaud anyone who refuses to invite anyone in the Trump family anywhere, or refuses to attend any event where these immoral corrupt criminals are present.
13
"Never mind that Obama is a Democrat who took some nasty shots in the course of vanquishing McCain in the 2008 president election"
I'll be honest, I don't remember any "nasty shots" that Obama took at McCain in 2008.
11
Let's be careful with our praise, vis-a-vis "taking a stand" that his colleagues would not. McCain strongly sided with Trump on $1.5 trillion in tax cuts, after harping on for months about appropriate Senate procedure. ... Watch what they do, not what they say.
15
I believe that if you want to plan your last good-bye, you should not have to justify your wishes. Mr.Trump is the loud mouthed relative you barely tolerate once a year at the family Thanksgiving table. He has no desire to show respect for anyone other than himself.
Sadly, McCain knows he would be mugging the cameras and trying to make sure HE was the main topic.
He did his family and America a huge favor. Still the warrior for American values of dignity under fire. I applaud him. He is an American hero, even on his final journey.
9
Does anybody know why there were no Carters at the funeral? Not invited? Declined to come? Just curious.
David,
President Carter and Rosalyn were overseas working on behalf of the Carter Center and unable to make it back stateside to attend Mrs. Bush's funeral.
1
How many funerals will he skip? All for which he is not the honoree.
7
Trumps disgusting comments about McCain during the election are more than enough to justify McCains not wanting him at his funeral. Trump could always claim he has a bone spur that needs treating.
11
Nice feelings, but if Obama had sent Bush Jr. to the Hague for launching an illegal war, we might not have a president tearing up treaties today.
7
I don't really care how many funerals he skips. As long as he shows up at his own, I'll be happy.
21
Speaking of surrealist developments, it’s quite possible Donald Trump may believe he would have to skip his own funeral. Because if Donald Trump were to die, his alternative versions may feel compelled not to attend the decedent’s funeral. Otherwise, the circumstances may not only unleash a mere political scandal, but also disrupt the meaning of death itself. That’s how important Donald Trump believes he is.
6
"When you come to a crossroads, take it!" That's the quote attributed to baseball great and language mutilator Yogi Berra. When you come to a dead end street, what do you do? Lie down and cry? That's where we are with Trump, a dead end street with no decency, no restraints of any kind, propelled by an insatiable desire to attack and mangle anyone who doesn't worship at the Church of Trump.
Richard Nixon, who was driven from office as much by his own galloping paranoia as by political opposition, never stooped to the levels Trump achieved in just a few days in office. Nixon worked hard to keep his worst side hidden. Though he was loathed by the eastern establishment for helping to inspire and sustain virulent fears that there was a communist under every bush, Nixon, at least until the end, was, in fact, president and not shunned like an unwanted dinner guest.
The insult that Trump laid at the feet of John McCain was outstanding in its cruelty and utter nonsense. "I like heros who weren't captured," Trump said. Presumptively, he also meant those whose bone spurs didn't prohibit them from risking their lives in the first place. Trump's heroics were performed at Studio 54, but at least he avoided capture.
Trump mocks everything decent, but we shouldn't gloat. We are all losing in this sorry spectacle and the way back from this sad path is unclear and unknown and, perhaps, unattainable.
6
It is said that one loses dignity if one tolerates the intolerable. Senator John McCain engages in a final act of protest and integrity in not granting Trump the privilege of attending his memorial service. McCain confers upon himself a final act of dignity in his public refutation of a president who exhibits neither dignity nor integrity. McCain makes his final statement to the world that he refuses to tolerate the intolerable.
It is a heroic act for a Republican whose fellow members no longer value truth, courage, humility, nobility, fairness, equality or compassion.
I worry less about how many funerals Donald Trump has to attend and more about how I may become desensitized and inured to the constant turbulence and chaos. I worry I will become cynical and apathetic in the midst of the continuous debasement of civility in public discourse with every presidential tweet. Comey is a "slimeball." The FBI is "an embarrassment to our country." I worry that I will become emotionally exhausted and no longer adequately repelled by such behavior. Graydon Carter refers to this as "Post Trump Stress Disorder."
I worry that McCain's denial of Trump will be the last vestige of honor in a world in which honor is considered an anachronism, a world in which any means justify the end, no matter how dishonorable, no matter how intolerable.
3
Trump's vileness defeats hyperbole. However, George W. Bush, through lies and recklessness, caused vast human suffering, and countless deaths. He is up to his neck in blood.
That he is no longer personally offensive does not alter it that he is guilty of war crimes, including responsibility for torture.
Why on Earth should such a man be welcome in polite company?
1
An eloquent and powerful reflection and there is another way in which John McCain has an important message for our time. Having been tortured during the Vietnam war he has been a prophetic voice against torture, and sadly, today a person who not only approved but supervised torture is being proposed as director of the CIA
4
I hate Trump with the light of a thousand candles but to say he wasn't wanted at Barbara Bush's funeral is not quite accurate. Sitting president's historically do not attend funerals for the spouse of a past president. This is kind of like the fake news Trump rails about. Not a good look here. As far as McCain is concerned, it's his funeral. The great things about funerals is the person who is the subject of the funeral, doesn't care what anyone else thinks.
He didn't attend the funeral for Barbara Bush. This article stated that other first ladies have represented their husbands at previous first lady funerals.
Prince Harry is welcoming zero political leaders, making this a moot point.
This entire column in mean-spirited and unnecessary.
We get it NYT and its readers hate Trump.
How about some real news.
1
I would be horrified if he showed up for the funeral of anyone in my life.
5
John McCain was right to have this request made public so there would be no doubt that Trump would be persona non grata at his funeral. Trump is insulting and obnoxious and makes everything about how wonderful he is. What was really obnoxious was Oren Hatch's comments criticizing McCain. He later apologized but that was disingenuous. He did it only because of bad press. Why was it his business?
4
It's also interesting to contemplate what Trump's funeral will be like. For all you history buffs, the image that comes to my mind is that of William the Conqueror. Trump should have about the same number of people who will hate to see him go--zero--as those who mourned William and may also have some of the same problems conforming to the allotted size of the coffin. "Tight fit" doesn't begin to tell the tale...
1
That picture breaks my heart, it's so beautiful.
"Have to Skip?"
Shouldn't it be "Be Asked to Not Attend"?
Skip implies there is something more important to which he must attend. Not so.
But he is being asked repeatedly to stay away, far away, from these ceremonies. Copy desk should take another stab at this.
3
Presidents and first ladies, past and present, are in a very small club. They're the only people who know what it is to live in the bright bubble, make policy that affects the world, and suffer those particular slings and arrows. There is kindness on the part of the formers; there is gratitude on the part of the currents--well, except the current President. He operates as if he doesn't need anyone for anything, even the support of his wife. She found empathy at Mrs. Bush's funeral, I am sure.
2
Frank, I always enjoy your columns, and your current policy of replying to comments is very refreshing and innovative. I hope it will be adopted by your fellow columnists.
15
If Trump, Pompeo, and Bolton have their way, there will be many, many funerals of American kids brought home from Iran and Korea. I'm sure Trump won't attend these either..unless he succeeds in switching their cemetery from Arlington to Mar-a-Lago
9
I agree that John McCain was making a political statement in exlcuding Trump from his funeral. But also Trump can’t be trusted at ceremonial and solemn occasions. He has no manners, no empathy, and with his overwhelming need to be always the center of attention, McCain’s family and other mourners deserve to be protected from him. And Trump is solely responsible for his pariah status.
17
He sent Melania to Mrs. Bush’s funeral, for heaven’s sake. He’s had a lot on his plate lately.
I immensely respect John McCain whom I consider a legitimate American hero, even if Trump doesn’t. But asking that Trump not attend his funeral is something like the guy who, on seeing a pink elephant enter the room, grandly pours his drink into the potted plant next to him. The grand gesture. I’d be concerned about other things right now.
I’d point out that NEITHER Obama nor Bush were able to avoid Munichs with North Korea, leaving it to Trump to tidy up the mess; and Obama signed a nuclear “deal” with Iran that was an even larger Munich, and again it’s Trump who will need to clean up the mess and prevent a nuclear Armageddon on Middle Eastern sands. Sen. McCain and all the other #NeverTrumpers decidedly have a case that Trump’s persona and behavior are atrocious; but they can’t deny that he gets things done he was elected to do, and the same can’t be said for some of his predecessors or elected officials generally. It may well be that his ability to do that is tied inexorably to that atrocious persona.
In any event, I don’t suppose Trump will measure his success as president by how many among our elite like him at the end of his tenure, or by how many funerals he’s invited to. He’ll measure his success by what he actually accomplishes.
1
"A lot on his plate". I nearly did a spit take after that one. Yeah suppose that's true if you consider time watching Fox News and scheduling tee times for the week-end. For him that is a lot.
15
It is still "early times" for making the judgement on Trump's successes in the foreign affairs department.
I hope for the best.
Getting past the display of Trump holding up his "wonderful" signature would be nice. Ending pronouncements are easy--making successful plans, somewhat harder.
Comments about the size of his crowd--worthless.
5
I find your comment so sad; I actually would give back the little he has accomplished if it meant we again had a decent human being in the WH
1
That picture makes me think of better times. I was no fan of GWB or Bush Sr., but look at them, all standing there together in what looks to be a genuine moment. It makes me hopeful.
You can bet though that Trump won't be in a lot of these sort of photos, not now or ever.
10
I expected Mr. Trump to speak at JFK's grave on Memorial Day last year which was the 35th president's 100th birthday. Instead Mr. Trump squandered the opportunity to unify the country by saluting our 35th president and honor his war service and vision. The 45th president and his advisors chose to honor another Second World War veteran. I wrote off Trump at that moment. It was his best chance to be truly bipartisan and to remind the country he was from a generation that faces different challenges. President Kennedy's family commemorate his birthday every year. They should have been invited to join President Trump at Arlington Cemetery. How could an entire administration miss such a once in a lifetime moment?
14
Each sitting president sends wreaths to be laid at the graves of deceased former presidents on the anniversaries of their deaths. I am glad to see this tradition is continuing, with or without his input. Trump did lay a wreath at Andrew Jackson's grave last year, so it's even more astounding that he didn't take the opportunity to do the same for President Kennedy.
7
this elegant piece nearly made me tear up. i so miss civility and decency and honesty from our elected leaders.
15
Here's the way McCain could have carried this out with some class. He simply needed to contact President Trump privately. He could have said that the "I prefer my heroes" comment was hurtful to his family and still a sore subject, and that his wishes are the president not attend his funeral. Or, provided this was still in the context of contacting the president privately, he could have said anything he wanted.
It would have then been incumbent on the president to respect the man's wishes, and graciously keep quite about the fact. (Whether he is capable of this is an entirely different issue.) It would be enough for him to say some kind words about McCain, speak about "differences" in the past, and beg off for not wanting to be a "distraction."
But, instead, what we've got is John McCain—Mr. "Let's all think about the country, and our unity, and blah, blah, blah"—making a public spectacle about his feelings for the president. He wants one of his last public acts to be one of "Resistance," which means any talk from him about unity and whatnot seems like outright hypocrisy.
The kindest thing at this point would be to forgive him on account of a "doctor's note."
2
Would YOU-or even more importantly-your surviving families-want someone who viciously maligned you at your funeral?
You are forgetting--this is a funeral; it is NOT only of public interest, it is a FAMILIAL event.
When my grandmother died, several people who were unaware of some key facts, took it upon themselves to attend her wake-and then completely disrespected my mother and aunt. My cousins and I asked them-respectfully- to leave, as they were showing great disrespect to all of the family.
The McCain family has the same right. Trump was-no, IS-a nasty piece of work, and has NO business attending that man's funeral or memorial. McCain doesn't owe us anything, least of all calling potus and cuing him in....did that man ever apologize for the disgusting things he said about McCain?
7
But don’t you see?McCain’s whole point, I believe, is to make it public, to show the American public just how low and out of societal norms Trump is.
5
The other common factor among the former inhabitants of the White House is that whether or not one agreed with vision for America or the tactics used to achieve that vision, one imagines that all of them believe in America as idea, as a community, and as a force for good - and not just a means to fill their own coffers. All of them believe in public service. Two words it's hard to imagine the current resident of the White House being able to define.
14
Politicians are judged by how many funerals they've attended, how many diplomatic dinners they've gone to, how many ceremonially empty events in which they have participated. Or, by their accomplishments.
Well, Trump has a big fat zero in both of those categories then.
2
On the flip side of the moral coin, how many funerals and hospitals has Trump actually visited of his own will? Has the man EVER visited a VA hospital, doing those quiet trips to see the costs of our wars and thank personally those who prosecute it? Or is it too much time to take out of his weekends at the golf course? Want to win the hearts and minds of veterans? Do a side by side comparison of how much effort past presidents have expended in these moral duties with our current commander in chief.
25
He's a master of PR! He sees everything in terms of how it will serve his image. If he can't be the star, he won't attend (instead, calling attention to himself because he didn't attend). Better to send Melania. She looks great in black! Besides, the thought of meeting one's maker probably terrifies him.
10
...he’s not invited to mine so at least one more....
18
The question is less how many funerals will trump have to skip and more will any former presidents attend his. My guess - none (or possibly pence if trump is impeached. Fingers crossed).
10
What a powerful commentary and oh so sad and true. Our current POTUS is a national disgrace. Logistics my eye that 45 didn't attend. Bet the Bush's didn't want him there.
Good on McCain for having the last word and not inviting 45 to his funeral.
I hope and pray that when he leaves office (sooner rather than later) he will go home to his glass house in the sky in disgrace, that or his palatial estate down south. He will not be on anyone's list of invites except his loyal followers.
Thank you again Mr. Bruni for such powerful words, no wmore than ever.
24
How Many Funerals Will Donald Trump Have to Skip?
'The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind.'
8
Trump was not elected by the people to go to funerals but to reduce the number of funerals around the world especially those that have resulted from the worthless Bush and Obama era regime change wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Libya and Yemen as well as those at the hands of barbaric terrorists for which some cheer leaders in Washington were responsible. I agree with Senator from Utah Orrin Hatch who calls forever (until death) Senator John McCain's preference that Trump not attend his funeral "ridiculous". I personally don't think McCain is going to be detached from his position as senator any time soon. But if Trump is our president when the inevitable happens, I think if Trump does skip McCain's funeral whenever that happens, he should pay tribute to all innocent civilians, more than a million and brave US and NATO armed forces who have lost their lives in the wars of this century (2001-2016). May they rest in peace for they could not find an answer to the question why but had to do and die into the valley of unnecessary death due to the 600 in Congress (Senators plus the Congresspersons and the presidents and their administration) including John McCain.
2
trump was not elected. he was appointed by the members of the electoral college...and, even there, some members reluctantly had to give him the vote, since they personally did not agree with the districts they represented that trump was qualified to be president.
15
You do know, don’t you that Hatch apologized for his “ridiculous” remark, which was actually ridiculous
Let's face it: Trump is a pariah, both domestically and internationally. He has no discernible redeeming qualities, except to his base. Who would willingly want him at any event that requires civility and tact?
28
People don't want Trump at their funerals because he's a despicable human being.
Leave it at that.
45
You're right, of course, Mr. Bruni, but Trump is a man undeserving of respect. What he does care about is being written about; so you've inadvertently succeeded in making him happy.
18
When it comes to spending time with Trump, we are all Angela Merkel. For the time being, she has no choice. She's stuck with the tactless, graceless, corrupt, ignorant lout.
11
Are we allowed to say that we anticipate with great relish and expected satisfaction the funeral of a man who has so degraded our culture and government? Are we allowed to say we would hope that that cathartic event preceeds that of Mr. McCain?
It's a Good versus Evil kind of deal, and it would be gratifying, were that to happen, to see Good win one for a change.
2
You really don't get it, do you? You rail against this President for a lack of honesty, yet in some respects he is the most honest person in Washington D.C. Let me explain, many of you in the MSM, lie and act one way around certain people and another way around others.
With the exception of being in a courtroom (since I'm a criminal defense attorney) if I don't like someone I don't like them. I do not act one way in one environment and another way in a different environment. We call that two-faced. It is one of the worst things to be accused of. Our current President dislikes/hates Washington D.C. He did not like the Bushes (even though I adore them). I do not agree with his position, but he is authentic about his feelings. Hence, it will not bother him at all to miss funerals. Moreover, millions of Americans will applaud the fact that he doesn't go while looking down on the hypocrites (who otherwise would wink and smile and say nice things in a particular setting).
Funerals and memorials are for the comfort of those left behind, and honor the memory of their loved one. It is inconceivable to imagine Donald Trump honoring anyone except himself.
Living in Houston, we had more than a week of news coverage of all things Barbara Bush and what she stood for and didn't. Again, Donald Trump exemplifies none of this. He has created the nightmare chaos filled with all that decent people find abhorrent. I was gratified NOT to see him at Barbara Bush's funeral.
Human decency is a desired character trait. We should demand it of our leaders.
13
Orrin Hatch should announce that he wants Donald Trump to give his eulogy. It would be fascinating to watch Trump denounce Hatch's "inferior" body while he declared that he likely will live forever, given his "most healthiest" body. On second thought, Trump would not do that in a eulogy...he would never mention anyone other than himself.
14
I miss civility.
15
As an aside, what the hell is wrong with Orrin Hatch? His comment criticizing McCain for excluding Trump was inexcusable. Full-on Kool-Aid or dementia?
29
Looking closely, it’s actually Bill’s hand on his wife’s shoulder. You can just make out George’s thumb on Bill’s wrist.
1
I can't imagine Trump appearing at any public event -- even a funeral for God's sake -- where he isn't, or can't make himself, the center of attention.
10
Can we all agree to stop using "trump" as a verb? :)
2
Why should Trump go to funerals? The dead person gets all the attention. He only attends events where he's the star.
23
What a perfect column!! Anyone with a brain knows a vicious cur Trump is. His enjoyment in life is insulting anyone within earshot and cheating poor workmen. He has no empathy for any other human being especially a decent person like John McCain. When a draft dodging, Pathological liar is our elected leader, this country is at a low point in our history It will only get worse!!As for Melania, who could have a worse marriage .
12
Judging the effectiveness of a President by how many funerals he's been asked to attend or stay away from is pretty petty.
1
The headline should read “How Many Funerals Will Trump be Forced to Skip”.
7
If you voted for Trump maybe no one should attend your funeral. Seriously. Then again, you are emotionally, morally and intellectually dead-in-the-head while alive so who cares?
Too tough, too nasty, too extreme? Too bad. Own your vote, Shamester!
10
This column captures the essence of trump and the consequences that occur as a result of his vengeful, hateful persona. He cannot stand with, nor will ever be invited, to be part of the Presiden’s Club. He has brought shame to the office and has degraded our national discourse. We are not respected worldwide and goodwill has been destroyed with many neighbors. McCain’s request will no doubt be a reoccurring one to trump.
22
Thd difference between Trump and McCain and let's say Obama and McCain is that with Trump, everything he does is personal, he doesn't know how to make congiscent attacks so everything he does are personal smears and taunts. Campaigning can get ugly, and no one is holding it out as a very civil enterprise, especially these days, but when Clinton beat Bush I and Obama beat McCain and so forth, these were political battles for the most part (McCain for example never fed into the birther nonsense about Obama and chided those claiming he was an enemy,etc), and the parties understood that. Trump is nothing more than a mean, nasty street corner bully and that is all he knows, and that is why McCain doesn't want Trump there, a funeral is both about remembering the person who has passed and acknowledging those he left behind, and there McCain (rightly) saw no reason to acknowledge Trump, far from it.
13
He skips all the ones that provide him with no personal benefit. It didn't take a full column for the answer.
Now, if all the wakes had been booked for Mara Lago, perhaps he'd changed his mind.
9
I told someone that I expect Trump to make a nasty remark about McCain when the Senator dies. My friend said no one is that low, even Trump.
I wouldn't bet on it.
www.newyorkgritty.net
9
Michelle and Melania side by side. Yes, Melania is endorsing, by bringing back or copying, what Michelle did as First Lady. Her position is completely at odds with what Donald is doing to Barack's accomplishments. She knows which side of history she wants to be on!
4
Trump is welcome to my funeral over my dead body.
3
Melania Trump is beaming, proud to be a member of a club which disavows her idiots husband.
4
We all have that relative that simply spoils a family gathering. The group of former Presidential families is very small and as Mr. Bruni has noted, they are close. It is unfortunate that Mr. Trump has made himself into that person that no one wants at the family gathering because they know he will spoil it. It is also notable that Mrs. Trump has the grace that her husband does not.
5
The only funeral Trump is going to attend is his own. And how many living presidents are going to be available at that time? I'm guess that most -- most unfortunately-- will be booked by prior engagements.
5
If Trump were to speak at McCain's funeral, Trump would likely brag about his Electoral College victory and compare his numbers to McCain's in 2008. This president has difficulty being compassionate and it is most unfortunate.
9
One way or another Trump’s presidency will come to an end. If it happens to take place at the inauguration of the next president the peaceful and inspiring transfer of power would probably be best served if Trump played golf instead.
7
A fraternity that dt will never join or be genuinely be invited to join
3
Frank Bruni is insane. He's willing to put his sense of self-worth aside and praise political figures who have all been extremely poor leaders.
Barbara Bush is only memorable because of Angela Landsbury's portrayal of her in the 1962 classic film..."The Manchurian Candidate".
John McCain never did one un-selfish thing. He has built his career off of one moment, when he was forced to stand up and be a man......refuse release from Hanoi HIlton...which was intended as a a Publicity Stunt. Later he was get caught with his hands in the Keating S&L Cookie Jar and then vote for the 800Billion Bank Bailout, guaranteeing his loss in the 2008 Presidential Election.
NOPE....I wouldnt show up at either of these funerals either. And when every ex-president dies...Bush,Sr...Clinton....Bush,Jr....Obama.....I will remind addle=brained Frank Bruni of just how destructive each of these sub=standard leaders was.......wont attend their funerals either.
2
With Trump’s notoriously limited attention span I imagine that attending funerals must be torture for him. Having to sit quietly for an hour or more while being asked to reflect on the life of someone other than himself is probably his idea of hell.
9
How many?
Enough to keep you whiners distracted from the real news.
Pray tell what is the "real news". Trump rolling back another Obama accomplishment?
There is one funeral that he cannot avoid. They will even release him from jail to attend it.
5
Stunning photograph that makes one long for a different time in America, a time before the current horror in the Whilte House.
The much-circulated photo has yet to identity (to my knowledge, anyway) the woman who photobombed the shot, clad in a dreadfully inappropriate mini-dress that was a horrifying choice for any funeral, much less this one.
2
Thank you for this sad column Frank Bruni. It is valid and Senator McCain & his family are entitled to dignity and sincerity at his wake.
A second dimension of President Trump's pathological personality was brought to life by James Comey in his CNN Town Hall. He noted that he was bothered by President Trump's lack of humor. Director Comey relayed how he had seen Presidents GW Bush and Obama use humor to help those around him relax in their presence and that each had the ability to see the foibles within himself. Such grace is sadly lacking in this presence and he, apparently unknowingly, creates his own isolation. As that isolations spreads from the President as an individual to the President as the leader of a democratic nation we jeopardize much.
9
This is the time for all to speak up. Mr. Trump is making America into a country most of us would not recognize nor applaud. Senator McCain is using this final chance to make his thoughts known. I thank him. This is not a time for politics as usual; it’s survival.
9
With this gesture, Senator McCain has spoken with dignity and respect for his family as well as for many citizens. I see this as a gift of kindness from him. Many of us need to have our spirits lifted and I not only respect Senator McCain's wishes, but I thank him for this courageous act. Thank you for all you have done for us in your entire lifetime.
2
Mr. Bruni, your words speaking to the strength, decency, etc. of all the people you mentioned in your article were uplifting. Your comments on President Trump were clearly so accurate. Thanks once again for such a well written Opinion article.
Gerard Russo
7
I'm betting Trump will schedule a rally to coincide with McCain's memorial service. Make America Hate Again.
9
Thank you for le mot juste, Frank: Decency.
5
George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton. George W. Bush, Barack Obama--- The Ex Presidents Club.--- Donald Trump, sole member of The XXX Presidents Club.
3
Wow, Frank, I think this was perhaps one of your best pieces yet. You truly hit the nail on the head. Donald Trump can never run with this crowd because he does not process the most basic germs of decency, caring, humility, or empathy. All of which these former presidents and their courageous spouses possess in spades. Look how far our cherished democracy has fallen. Just look.
8
This column made me picture trump giving a eulogy for anyone - after half a sentence he would veer off into the size of the crowds at his inauguration, fake news, and how rich/healthy/great he is. The image was disgusting and yet hilarious, and explains why he wouldn't manage a good performance as an attendee, let alone a speaker, at anyone's funeral.
4
This is the state of our union today. We have a President who is a man too offensive and brutish to be included in normal social settings.
Think about that. America's President is not welcome. People avoid him. It has nothing to do with his policies but everything to do with his personality and demeanor.
Trump is a selfish and mean, petty person. Insults and self-aggrandizement are his daily bread. So far he has shown little capacity for compassion, empathy.
His base love him for his crudeness and taunting. Trump knows this so will never stop being a total boor. Besides Trump likes being such a foul mouthed troll.
Mr. McCain is perfectly within his rights to wish that this "man" not attend his funeral. What Trump said about him was beyond the pale to put it mildly.
The only place Trump is wanted is at his rallies. It's a vicious cycle.
8
You think the turn out for Trump's inauguration was low. At his funeral, the only thing they'll be counting is crickets.
4
Fine column on Forgiveness, Frank. Save one, and that sinner among us hasn't even asked for it, as he hs no sense of need for it.
Look, he's playing the presidential part of the game and 4 cards short of a full hand of 5 cards. He holds the Ace of Diamonds, believing as he does that gems are a man's best friends. He considers himself a gem, but is unable to express an ounce of adulation to anyone save himself.
In our juridical mode, let's remember how he got in office. He was voted in by the same number of voters as his opponent had. Ask yourself how that happened. Almost one half the country's voters voted for him.
There's a message here for good liberals and good conservatives everywhere: put your arms around each other and find a way to make productive friendships.....the kind where you can put an arm around someone you disagreed with, and include a smile of friendship. Don't wait for the next funeral. Start now!
2
Hillary had over 3 million more individual votes than trump did. Unfortunately, voters in four states get additional value added in the electoral college than do those of the rest of the country.
3
Norma,
That representation based on density is what serves many folks like you who live in places like Albuquerque. Your representatives are chosen the same way.
Look it it up and you will see why our founders included this provision on purpose.
He who shall not be named is not fit to carry John McCain's trash to the curb, much less permeate a true hero's funeral with his malodorous presence. Didn't care much for many of McCain's conservative policies, but never doubted for a moment that he was anything less than a true patriot who loved America, and a true gentleman who to his last breath has lived with respect and honor.
4
The headline is depressing. I prefer to think about how many people will skip Trump's funeral....
6
Even if Trump were to show up at Sen. McCain's funeral, I could well imagine him standing off to the side by himself stewing as others congregate and talk.
4
I was not the only gal in Houston pulling wearing pearls in honor of Barbara Bush after her death. I wonder if anyone will be wearing bad red ties to honor trump when he passes.
2
Honestly, would any decent person want Donald glowering and grimacing at their funeral? Who wants to be haunted by a ghoul for all eternity?
Maybe he can rent himself out as a professional mourner to his adoring base in his post presidency phase, after he finishes his prison term.
2
When the dead don't even want Trump around them, it says something: they just want to rest in peace.
Trump has long employed a scorched earth approach to relationships personal, professional and political. He uses people and their feelings to gain whatever advantage, if not deference, to which he feels he is entitled. In his mind, such as it is, the ends always justify the means, no matter the damage to others. He leaves no room for disagreement, polite or otherwise, and thrives emotionally by purposefully vanquishing, diminishing and ridiculing his opponents, who he collects like trophies.
No, Trump's indecency is clearly causing people to block his presence at events to which he would otherwise be invited, present and even welcome. Being president is not enough to pry open their arms. Paybacks, as they say, are Hell, even as the objects of his scorn ascend to Heaven.
People simply don't want Trump around, even when dead, and are taking their dying wishes to their graves. Even in death, their silence speaks volumes.
3
Over time, I've wondered whether the election of our first black president, over Hillary, was a polite sign that the electorate wanted to truly shake things up. That President Obama was restricted in his actions by an economic situation teetering on the brink and, arguably, his failure to bring the bankers and Wall Street to account for the 2008-9 debacle, may have fertilized the ground for voters to choose the craziest among the 16 candidates in hopes that he would, as he has, simply rip into what they consider a flawed fabric. And in that thought, I believe, is the answer to Trumpism -- humility in understanding we all wrought this beast and must examine what must be promised and delivered to return us to an acceptable politics. Job training for the dispossessed. Innovation and universal accessibility in education. Health care that works for all. And immigration policy that remembers we are a unique nation. There is no birthright to being an American. We are a meritocracy and should welcome now all as we did in the late 1800s. We shouldn't label Trump supporters as deplorables, though many of their utterances are that. We should understand they are wounded and disappointed and they have reason to be. We may need to convert some guns to butter and hold a more humble place in the world to right our domestic ship of state, but we shouldn't forget that the heart of the Trump supporter is pumping out of an understandable fear and disappointment.
1
One's entitled to his own guest list; leave it at that. One's not entitled to invoke the offices of state and religion one one's own behalf, much less in the same breath, much less to do so to ostracize anyone. That is Trumpian. It would be better of McCain to refuse these obsequies, than to manipulate them as if they were warrants of legitimacy.
Being an octogenarian, I envision my funeral often. It is a very personal thing that involves only people you love' I imagine that in the case of famous people that would include other famous people that you respect. So, I believe that a message is here that is greater than personal feelings or pettiness. I believe that the Love for America by this hero prohibits giving a stage to someone who refused to serve but criticized those who served but were captured.
1
You have to earn the respect of the people. In trump's case, he hasn't and doesn't deserve any respect. If I were the survivor of someone who passed on, I'd make it a point to NOT INVITE TRUMP to the funeral!
2
Apparently many Americans agree with the late bluesman Howlin' Wolf (Chester Arthur Burnett, June 10, 1910 – January 10, 1976), who said:
"I'd rather go to your funeral any day than have you come to mine."
2
"Who will pay tribute to a disreputable man? How to eulogize a man who spent his life cheating, lying and bullying?"
As everyone can see, it seems that there are plenty of people willing to associate themselves with Trump. To your question I'd say: Nunes, McConnell, Ryan, Giuliani, Melania, judge Ellis lll, Ted Cruz, Netanyahu, Putin and so on. Even the mob boss has its suite of cronies and sycophants.
2
Thank you Frank. This is what I needed to see today.
4
When Donald finally meets his maker (hopefully a she) they'll be lineups around the block with those wanting to re-enact a scene from a Moscow hotel room.
2
One day, there will be a funeral for blight 45. The eulogy will be a lie, the outpouring of sympathy will be a lie, the celebration of his life and accomplishments will be a lie. the only thing that will be true is that an evil presence in the world will be buried.
5
Thank you Frank. Decency is what joins us. Trump congers up anything but that. How sad.
2
Trump is an utterly amoral, despicable character, who, as Mr. Brennan so aptly put it, will be relegated to “the trash heap of history”. He will be lucky if anyone attends his funeral.
2
Sadly for you Truthiness, the truth of the matter is that more people will turn out for President Trump's funeral than for your own.
Does that sadden you?
Sometimes the truth hurts.
Maybe, Midway. And they will be there to celebrate his passing.
Demagoguery is beyond the pale. That's why Trump is not in the picture. He should not be in the picture of America, but he is because, apparently, too many of us share his ethos of fear and prejudice.
1
While I agree wholeheartedly with Mr. Bruni's key point re: Trump, I could have lived without the hearts and flowers re: the other Presidents and their spouses. Why is it necessary to treat a war criminal like Bush Jr. with respect and cordiality? And why is that considered a good thing?
Would anyone want the repulsive, repugnant and over bearing Donald Trump at their funeral? This spite filled hater is a universal joke and an embarrassment to all the decent people in this country and around the world.
4
Where was this George W Bush during his 8 years of Presidency ?
The man is redeeming himself from the heartache he cause by attacking Iraq under false pretense. Years have gone by and I am liking W these days , an I must say the man might not be the smartest President in History but does not have a racist bone in his body.
But trump is certainly is a piranha , uncouth, evil, total lack of any personal grace. By insulting McCain a War Hero he lowered himself, by undermining Obama he has gone further down.
Senator McCain still has his faculties intact , and Donald J. trump is already losing his, and for the benefit of the mankind let this be a one time Presidency.
2
Like most Brits I hope Trump skips his trip to England, a country he has essentially patronized and insulted many times in the last year, including tweeting fake videos, and tweeting criticism of Sadiq Khan who essentially advised Londoners to “keep calm and carry on”, part of the British approach to danger and disaster germinated in the Blitz in September and October 1940 when 40,000 Londoners died, 300 aircrew we’re dying fighting the Luftwaffe in the skies above England and whilst 100,000 German troops massed a few miles from the British shores ready to invade, all the while when America refused to help England and enter the war. This all means a lot in the British psych but the oafish and uneducated acted Trump knows nothing about this and will no doubt wonder why thousands will demonstrate when he lands imperiously in London.
2
Is there an online registry, like the “Do Not Call” list, for others who do not want Trump at their funeral?
1
Re that picture, they are all at a funeral.
I know that for politicians and apparently there spouses there is a Pavlovian need to smile into a camera, but someone dies and was buried. Even if she was old.
The smiling was inappropriate.
1
Not at all. People gather afterwards to celebrate the person's life, sharing stories that solidify memories of the lost one.
4
Trump would jump in the hole to get the attention.... sorry just dreaming
2
Did you notice the woman in the photo far right? Her body language and smile suggest a sincere pleasure...perhaps in seeing these leaders transcend the division of today. Or perhaps s a longing for pre-trumpian era. Whatever, it's a lovely addition to a significant moment.
A malodorant is a chemical compound whose extreme stench acts as a temporary incapacitant.
there is only one time i want to see the name trump and the word funeral in the same sentence
4
First real smile from Melania ever.
1
Having watched my sister host a memorial for her dying husband before he passed away, a touching event where family and closest friends could express their deep feelings about him and the impact he made in their lives, I believe that Senator McCain's wishes are entirely legitimate and appropriate.
The last person one wants at a funeral is an alienating character, particularly one who makes every occasion about himself. Given Trump's execrable exercises in personal animus towards many and particularly John McCain, in my view, he simply spared his grieving family from having to do it themselves. Consequently, I see it as a courtly gesture, not one of spite, an emotion he could have acted on repeatedly from the election on, and didn't.
2
I have a feeling that Trump is afraid of funerals. It would remind him of his own mortality. He is probably glad not to be invited.
Basically McCain gave Trump the finger. (smiling)
3
"McCain is saying that there’s no point in letting bygones be bygones with someone as far gone as Trump..."
Absolutely. And that is the same reason humans on the left are calling out Trump supporters for what they are, deplorable zombies; you cannot reason with them, they are too far gone.
When it comes time for Trump's funeral, only those competing for the support of his deplorable zombie supporters will attend. Not even Putin or Kim would risk blemishing their fine reputations by appearing.
The rest of us will breathe a collective sigh of relief and unite in a single voice, shouting, "Good riddance!"
4
Mr Bruni
you have actually said all that there is to say about this presidency
it is not politics
Bush, Reagan, etc had politics I disagreed with
it is class and dignity
Trump has none at all
we are ashamed of him, and of the Americans who elected him, thus validating the worst of the "ugly American"
4
The only thing sadder than a dying man like McCain using his minutes of life thinking up who he is going to "invite" and exclude from the pomp of his funeral is that another man makes his daily bread politically analyzing such trope.
Really Frank, you couldn't get more in your wheelhouse and cover what was on the menu at the Babs Bush funeral luncheon? You have to focus on Trump's presence or non-presence? I think as a writer, when you stumbled across this factoid, you might have determined there is simply no basis for a column and started brainstorming for another.
"Skipping that funeral wasn’t remarkable in the abstract. When Obama was president, he took a pass on both Betty Ford’s and Nancy Reagan’s; Michelle went in his stead. When George W. Bush was president, he didn’t attend Lady Bird Johnson’s — Laura did."
2
Thank you, Midway
Trump does not do funerals. He does not like dead people. They do not vote. Simple.
2
...it’s not that they don’t vote. it’s because they’re losers. winners don’t die....
3
The adoration of John McCain has always puzzled me. He was a poor student at Annapolis who was privileged because his father and grandfather were admirals. He dropped bombs on Vietnamese peasants. He was involved in the savings and loan scandal. He never kept a campaign promise. He delights in the prospect of more wars and used a popular Beach Boys song refrain to espouse the bombing of Iran. And finally, he selected Sarah Palin as his VP. What is admirable about any of this?
1
My respects to Mr. McCain. In solidarity, I will not invite Mr. Trump to my pet snake's funeral (as it would be a dishonor to my snake).
6
It is the prerogative of the dying person to determine who he/she would like at their memorial. Who would want fake 45 at their wake? The man is indecent, intolerant, indefensible, ignorant, and just plain nasty. To invite such a person would indicate that one accepted these characteristics. HW and McCain are not my favs but they are decent, tolerant, defensible, knowledgeable, and civil. Let's hope any living Presidents decline an invite when fake's time comes.
3
When Trump passes away, I can well imagine Barack and Michelle Obama attending his funeral. Which speaks volumes about their values and respect for traditions.
3
Why give Melania a pass? She has never stood up to trump, she only gains material wealth from him. She began a relationship with him when he was married to another woman. Please explain what there is to admire, or respect about her?
2
Yet another great article by Mr. Bruni. May its sentiments be front-and-center in American voters' minds this November -- and, *if need be*, in Nov 2020.
4
I think Mr. Bruni overlooks one important fact. When a sitting US President attends some function where he or she is not the main attraction, then he or she literally becomes the main attraction. Especially in this case when the sitting US President is such a polarizing entity, the Secret Service would have had to turn the funeral into a kind of Trump road show. I am definitely not a Trump fan but in this instance he may have been displaying some "decency" by staying away.
1
POTUS doesn't have an original thought running through him, he was probably asked NOT to attend.
Face it 45 is not only a polarizing man he is a buffoon and an avowed liar no sane person would want him anywhere near them.
1
"Decency" and "trump" in the same sentence is impossible. Besides, trump is incapable of consideration of others unless there is something in it for him.
1
Someone once said "when you are lying on your dying bed you will only think about how a person made you feel, not what they gave you" . Trump will be missing invitations to a lot of funerals and weddings.
3
Although Sen. Hatch has since apologized, that anybody would have the audacity to tell a dying man who he must invite to his funeral is truly beyond the pale.
2
Can you imagine if Trump were at John McCain’s funeral? He would make it all about himself: “Look at this crowd size! There’s never been a bigger crowd size for one of my appearances!”. He will still manage to make the day about himself even when he’s not going, by holding a televised rally somewhere for which he’ll spend the days before it making “stay tuned for a big announcement” noises, so that the media will be forced to cover both the funeral and him.
2
"McCain is saying that there’s no point in letting bygones be bygones with someone as far gone as Trump, and he’s taking a stand that too many of his Republican colleagues won’t. It’s hard to quibble with him."
McCain has every right, as does anyone dying, to stipulate who should attend his funeral. It's particularly important when the man is a war hero with long years of service in political life.
There will be so many gathered at his memorial, that does he really want the one man who offered "gratuitous cruelty" to a member of his party while seeking the presidency?
When Trump enters a room, he takes it over, usually to talk about himself. To think of this crude, tasteless man-- a real bull in a china shop wherever he goes--hobnobbing with peers to honor a man he maligned and scorned when he didn't have to?
I'm tired of hearing about the elephant in the room: that the GOP has done, and will do, nothing to check a man using the presidency as a power trip, not an honor.
Honor, humility, grace, and dignity--Trump doesn't know the meaning of those words. And since he doesn't, and McCain does, it would be awkward beyond belief and draining for his family.
The thing about verbal cruelty is that it sticks in the memory of those who hear it, throughout life
For me, whenever Trump lashes out with some terrible attack on a person or idea, all I can think is this man hasn't a kind bone in his body.
McCain knows what he's doing, and why. And so does America.
8
I know of one funeral that he won't "skip" and it can't come soon enough to suit me.
6
Mr. Bruni, you describe Trump's legacy to a tee.
4
Someday the world will be rid of Trump, and it will be interesting to see who shows up for his obsequies. I'd like to think it will be nothing but snakes and lizards.
Whoever is there, we can be sure of a few things: Dan Scavino will tweet that it was the largest funeral in history, eulogies will be delivered by Harvey Weinstein and Marine Le Pen, and the coffin maker will be stiffed on his bill.
8
The moral of the story is that Trump is offensive. Thanks Mr. Bruni, I did not know that.
Whatever you thought of the Bushes' policies. there was never any doubt that they respected the presidency. All of the people in that picture are adults and behave as such.
Trump, on the other hand, has belittled and mocked everyone. His actions are a disgrace and I think of the McCain family's grief and then having to deal with that blowhard who disparaged Senator McCain showing up at the memorial service.
4
Though I have mostly disagreed with his policy positions, John McCain is a hero who has served our country with compassion and grit and I will probably just sob watching his funeral. I think a lot of the emotion around this is recognizing how far we've fallen under Trump...who's destroying our government, our environment, and the most vulnerable among us...the foundations of our existence as a nation. Can people who to this day support Trump reconcile him with what McCain fought for--to preserve and protect that foundation so that policy can be made through the democratic process spelled out in the constitution?
2
No problem for Trump. Funerals are for losers.
3
The only funeral over which Trump presided was that of the credibility of the United States. With his pull-out of the Iran deal, to which this country, Russia, China, and our major European allies were signatories, Trump signaled that the "word" of this country is now crap.
2
Trump is presiding over the funeral of liberalism. That's all anyone needs to know.
1
Guess again. He is making it easier for those on the fence to reject conservatives. Last two off-season state elections saw Democrats win in previously repub districts.
1
Why would you invite the devil to your funeral?
1
The McCain family can easily explain why Trump should not be invited:
"Trump is not the President. We like REAL Presidents. Not those that lie, cheat and steal." Besides, we will see who gets "shot down" when justice is delivered. As John McCain famously said about Bin Laden on 9/11; "God may forgive you, but we never will."
2
A Meryl Streep comment at an awards ceremony shortly after Trump won the election says it best:
Disrespect invites disrespect.
3
I still struggle with how a plurality of the American populace voted for someone without decency.
I know that many of the religious right saw the waves of feminism and now the tsunami of LGTBQ rights as the coming of the next apocalypse. But they have it wrong. The next apocalypse is caused by people with small and unaccepting minds who insist on the world only as they see it.
The coming apocalypse is evident by people who think only of themselves and not others they might harm. This group ranges from those who text and drive to the Toronto so-called "incel" killer.
And Trump is exhibit one - as he uses the presidency to enrich himself and his cronies at the expense of even those who had voted for him.
A breakdown in civility is the first sign of a breakdown in society, and Trump is leading the charge.
2
I can just imagine how the eulogy would sound if trump was giving one. "I", "I", "Hillary", "I", "Obama", "I", "I". . .
2
Mr.Trump is the proverbial"skunk at a garden party"!When he made the infamous comment that he liked heroes who had not been shot down,he said the cruelest words he could utter.He does not deserve to even be spoken of in the same breath as John McCain, a great American hero.
2
"Comity, dignity and Trump cannot exist in the same frame."
And there you have a cogent explanation for why even death of a celebrated public figure cannot transcend the emotional and rational gulfs that exist because of the crass, incompetent manner of this thoroughly pathetic figure who does not know how to be president because he does not know what he does not know. And he does not want to find out. It interferes with the activity of self promotion he needs to keep emotionally up through cheeseburgers and Fox News. I don't hate him; rather, I feel very sorry for him and the rest of us who must confront this petty image every morning in the real news.
3
John McCain loves our country. Trump loves only himself.
5
Proximity to Trump only debases and defiles you, even if you're dead.
4
I confess I despise the man, but reason I would ban him from my funeral is out of regard for my family. Trump turns everything into a circus, makes all conversion about himself, and doesn't know how to behave in public. My family would have enough to deal with with a death in the family; they sure as hell don't need to deal with him.
4
I see the difference between Trump and the rest as this. Politics for them is debating and going after the policy and deeds of the other. For trump its a personal attack on the other, making fun of their looks or past while making up stuff.
2
Who wants the circus to show up at your party, let alone your funeral?
Trump rarely manages to stick to script, and just because he is at a funeral, that doesn't mean that he'd be able to refrain from accusing the FBI of trying to get him, or grumbling about the only decent thing Sessions has done as Attorney General or bombasting about why it is preferable to split of families and deport people who have never lived anywhere else.
Barbara Bush deserved better, and so does John McCain and George H.W., should the time come. We don't play "Send in the Clowns" as the funeral procession enters, why should we do it in fact?
1
Let's not get carried away with our sentiment for Melania Trump. She married an odious human being for his money and she's paying the price.
I might feel badly for her but she brought a child into the situation.
I do not feel sorry for her. I feel contempt.
1
As I watch the panels on the Sunday morning talk shows discuss whether or not the things Trump has done are actually illegal, depending on what his intent was, I find myself thinking two things.
First, at one level, is illegality even the most important issue? Trump's intent is always to make himself look superior, to win, to make more money, and to get rid of anyone who stands in his way. His demeanor and the tangled web of connections he has made in order to get to what he believes to be the top make him criminally reckless and ill-mannered.
Second, has our culture so deteriorated that we now have to codify accepted norms of behavior that once seemed obvious? Of course we can't legislate good manners, but we can send the message that we don't have to tolerate unacceptable behavior to the point where we allow bad actors to taint the atmosphere everywhere. McCain's non-invitations seems an appropriate sanction. Bad actors need to face the consequences for their actions whether they rise (or should that be fall?) to the level of illegality or not.
It seems to me that illegality on Trump's part will be proven eventually and he will need to face the consequences. Unfortunately, though, his greatest crimes -- the destruction of the last vestiges of civility, the undermining of our institutions, and the vilification of the press will continue to affect us even if he finds himself behind bars. That's the real crime.
3
Thank you Senator McCain, for your service, your heroism and for your final maverick act of not inviting President Trump to your funeral.
I still remember when you stood up to a Republican voter during the 2008 campaign:
"I can't trust Obama. I have read about him and he's not, he's not uh — he's an Arab. He's not — " before McCain retook the microphone and replied:
"No, ma'am. He's a decent family man and citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues and that's what this campaign's all about. He's not an Arab."
I'm not a Republican, but I admire you greatly and this act of standing up to your own voters, as well as the Bully-in-Chief, makes me admire you even more.
You are a real leader and a great American.
3
Will Melania Trump be welcome at John McCain's funeral (when it happens--I hope not for a long time)?
I sure hope so...
1
Most Republicans in Congress - for their political and economic convenience - made a Faustian bargain and sold their souls to the Devil. John McCain did not and would not. Hooray!
4
Most Republicans in Congress - for their political and economic convenience - made a Faustian bargain and sold their souls to the Devil. John McCain did not and would not. Hooray!
Actually - they sold their souls to The Donald. Same thing.
Great article, Frank, but you failed to mention one glowing example of tactlessness and chutzpah. Orin Hatch telling McCain to invite Trump to the funeral! Shocking in its audacity. Better he find his backbone when it comes to Trump and his vicious, cutting remarks about everyone from women, to immigrants to the handicapped. Maybe Hatch can do the McCain family a favor and not go to the service. He can hit the golf course with his buddy. Two peas in a pod.
3
The corollary is how many decent people will skip Trump's funeral?
Tyrants invited include Duterte, Erdogan, Xi, maybe Kim Jong-Un, once he gives Trump the exclusive golf resort concession for Pyongyang. Putin will deliver the eulogy bare-chested. KellyAnne will be the only woman there who isn't family or hasn't been groped. Everyone else is under indictment.
McCain has every right to invite anyone he wants and disinvite anyone he wants. There's no shortage of people who want to pay their respects and celebrate a life lived with honor, courage, sacrifice, and service. How would Trump remotely fit in that picture?
When McCain returned to the Hanoi Hilton, where he was jailed and tortured, he described what the POWs had to endure. He said "I don't bear ill will to the guards for what they did to me; I bear ill will for what they did to my friends."
It's not that Trump demeaned McCain's patriotism and sacrifice -- McCain said it didn't matter. It's that Trump deeply insulted every American POW and made their sacrifice a glib joke.
Some people do what's unforgivable. McCain would never invite them to his memorial. The Hanoi prison guards who tortured and killed his friends. And Trump the draft-dodger who is destroying the nation McCain would give his life for.
To paraphrase LeBron James: U bum. McCain already said you ain't invited. So therefore ain't no invite. Going to a memorial was a great honor until you showed up!
2
Why would anybody want Trump at their funeral? Trump would merely make the proceeding all about Trump instead of celebrating the life of the deceased. I don't think McCain wants Trump shouting "build the wall" or "lock her up" to his deplorables during the eulogy.
1
The editors gave your column the wrong title. You write about not being wanted: skipping implies a choice by Trump.
"In a past life, he repeatedly entertained questions from Howard Stern about whether he would have slept with Harry’s mother, Princess Diana. Yes, he said, although he once qualified that answer by saying that he would have insisted first that she take an H.I.V. test. It’s the gentlemanly thing."
America, you are sending this person to the United Kingdom in a couple of months as your representative. Have you no shame???
4
Although I disagreed with many of McCain's views , I always maintained great respect for his integrity and patriotism.
Sadly, he is one of the few remaining conservatives with a dignity and dedication to democracy bereft in so many members of both houses of Congress today.
Considering the current poseur-cum-president's disrespect for integrity, his personal attacks on Mr. McCain, particularly denigrating his Vietnam heroism, is indefensible. I applaud Mr. McCain's advance wishes to specifically dis-invite trump to his memorial.
2
Sounds like Trump has flunked Jung’s collective unconscious, in the eyes of a unified gathering of leaders preserving both spoken and unspoken unity.
Well said, thank you. More thanks when Britain cancels his UK visit in July over the Iran decision.
1
On noticing the large crowd present at the funeral of Hollywood bigwig Harry Cohn in 1958, the comedian Red Skelton was widely reported to have said “Give the public something they want to see, and they’ll come out for it.”
Assuming Skelton was right, President Trump is already assured of having the biggest turnout for a funeral in world history, one numbering in the high millions.
Along with many others, I wish him a long and happy life, anywhere but here.
1
On the one hand, that picture is very nice, but on the other, all those in the picture are members of a common establishment. Trump and Jimmy Carter are both outsiders to this establishment and critical of it, although in vastly different ways.
Jimmy Carter was either away or in the hospital. For you to compare and even put the two men in the same sentence is really just not having a clue.
2
My wife and I just revised our wills. We don't want trump to come to our funerals either.
3
In addition to the funerals This president will not be attending, think of the events that have been changed because of the stench Trump exudes: the Kennedy Center Awards were threatened with boycotts if Trump showed up. It seems unlikely he will show up for subsequent ones. He couldn’t show up for the White House Correspondents dinner and never will. Even talk of a Nobel Peace Prize has diminished the value of that prestigious award. But more importantly, think of how he has alienated our allies by reneging on the accords made by his predecessor: who’s going to invite him to their table ever again? And finally, while his supporters continue to sing his praises, they need to be reminded that the US will no longer be a world leader if no one in the world will follow us.
4
It is worth noting that Trump can't attend the Kennedy Center Honors and the White House Correspondents' dinner, as well. He also can't find any "A list" entertainers to perform at events, like his inauguration and the first state dinner with Macron. The UK downgraded his visit scheduled for this summer to a working meeting instead of a state visit.
I believe a funeral isn't just about paying tribute to the loved one who has died, it is also about giving solace and support to their friends and family left behind. I give John McCain credit -- why should the McCain family have to be around and "host" this offensive pariah during the funeral and their time of pain? John McCain is doing what is right for his family and that is taking the high road and living his values.
243
Huh. Were I Cindy McCain, I would inform the president that if he dared to show up at my husband’s funeral, I would have the doors locked and barred against him; and I would turn a fire hose on him to drive him away. Sure, DJT insulted Senator McCain’s, but he also insulted McCains family. I’m sure they have neither forgotten - nor forgiven.
3
"McCain is saying that there’s no point in letting bygones be bygones with someone as far gone as Trump..."
Morals matter more than manners. McCain's disgust doesn't extend to Trump's lousy legislation, which McCain is all too happy to endorse.
1
Trump will be eulogized by Guliani, Gingrich, Hannity and few people out on furloughs and day passes.
2
Long time Arizonan (zonie, as we like to say). I lost my own beloved father just a few days ago so funerals are fresh on my mind, most unfortunately. (RIP Dad).
Senator McCain is quite controversial on the left and right. And that's why I respect him so much and always have. Frankly, many zonies, on both sides, truly dislike him. So you can say, like Trump, he, too, is divisive. Yet...
He's not. Because he remains, at his core, decent, civil, respectful and accomplished.
I'm just sad in anticipation of the day I read the headlines he is gone. As I believe he himself would say, we can agree to disagree, my friends, and still pull together and put our country first.
We need Senator McCain now more than ever. What a sad time for us all.
2
Trump ruins everything he comes in contact with.
He's ruining this great country.
3
Melania should dump Trump while he's still president -- She'd become a heroine the world around with just a few dead-enders in the US gnashing their teeth.
4
If Trump were to give a eulogy at McCain's funeral, he would no doubt toss aside his prepared remarks to talk about his great Electoral College victory and the size of the crowds at his inauguration. Rambling on, he would carry on about witch hunts and NO COLLUSION and Hillary Clinton's emails. Whatever words and sentiment he uttered would be about him. He can stay home and watch the service on Fox News.
2
he won't have to skip his own...
1
It's not just how Trump has treated McCain in the past, it's more about what he would say and how he would act. I constantly remember the speech Obama gave in Charleston at the memorial for those killed in the church shooting when he broke into "Amazing Grace." And I imagine how different it would have been had that been Donald Trump.
5
Speaking about decency, a most valuable humanvirtue, is glaringly absent in each and in all social interactions Trump had a hand on. But then again, don't you think foolish to expect 'our' ugly American in-chief to have, and give, what he lacks?
With the sabotage of the Iran deal, how many early funerals has trump caused and will also skip?
Petty? Absolutely not. Good for McCain. How does one accommodate pleas for civility with the most uncivil person on the planet who insults a man based on the ordeal McCain experienced and survived with dignity and on behalf of this nation? Trump has yet to apologize and will go to the grave without apologizing.
For the record, trump is not invited to my funeral or any of my remaining birthday parties PERIOD.
As for trump's funeral, who will show up? Hopefully he is incinerated with his ashes flushed down the toxic swamp he will be remembered for.
3
I read this just now, and must now shower and get the trump slime off.
3
Trump is running a toxic presidency. He lacks dignity,decency and empathy. His presence would undermine the solemnity of a state funeral.
2
Really Donald Trump's presence is required at only one funeral. And I'm certainly not alone in hoping I get to witness him attend it.
Frank, as a conservative Republican I could not agree with you more. Donald Trump lacks even a scintilla of class or decency. It is one of several reasons he will never get my vote. He simply lacks the character to be president. I usually disagreed with President Obama’s policies, and I was very troubled by his foreign policy, which I believe led to the suffering of hundreds of thousands of people, and his heavy reliance on straw man arguments irritated me. Nevertheless, he was a class act. He never embarrassed the country through his language or personal conduct. His demeanor was consistent with the dignity of the office he held. He would have been perfectly justified in skipping Trump’s inauguration based on Trump’s Birtherism alone, but for President Obama his commitment to the dignity of his office and his country were more important than any personal offense. Kudos to John McCain for standing to a boorish, classless bully who happens to be president.
267
Trump being Trump, in this situation he will know he's being disrespected and may still come to Senator McClain's service pushing people aside as he did to Montenegro's prime minister.
Trump is a shameless charlatan and self-promoter.
1
I hope you’ve egged him on. That would make a great video.
It would be difficult for Trump to attend any funeral. He would have to share the spotlight with the deceased. And, knowing his penchant for mangling the English language, who could trust him with the eulogy? Given his well known history of adultery and multiple marriages, it would be bizarre to see him in a front row at a Christian wedding. Plus, he wouldn't sit anywhere else except perhaps in the pulpit.
No, I believe his most appropriate place to bask in the spotlight is in a courtroom. And not in the judge's chair.
1
Sorry, with Trump on this one: George W was a warmonger. Reason enough to miss the funeral.
How many did she attend of those who came back in body bags from her son's fascist stomping based on a CIA lie, i.e., her husband's former employer, so to speak?
1
I have two reactions to this article:
1. Trump is such a vile and rotten "man" that he would demand to attend McCain's funeral just to spite McCain and his family.
2. Why did Hillary Clinton attend Trump's wedding? Did she not know what a rotten "man" he was back then? It isn't as if the evidence wasn't out in the open for every one to see -- the disgusting lechery and misogyny, the racism against the five black kids in NYC and the housing discrimination, the bankruptcies and the stiffing of contractors, the legal intimidation and goombah tactics. Why did Hillary Clinton enable this vile "human being"?
1
The fact that Sen. McCain would be thinking ahead, hopefully far ahead, to mention Trump is not welcome at his funeral or memorial, tells you what you need to know. Even in death the Senator can give a thumbs down to a miserable soul such as Trump.
Trump always makes everything about him so I'm sure if he were there he would monopolize the guests with stories of his great electoral victory and the size of the crowds and how proud he is to wipe out Obama's record as much as he can.
I'm glad for the picture, it speaks of a time without the stink of divisiveness.
As long as Trump doesn't find a way to skip his own funeral, we can all rest in peace.
Trump must not like people who die, just as those who apparently chose to be prisoners of war.
2
I think if Trump does come to your funeral, you might have some explaining to do. To God. He's THAT despicable.
1
Trump had the audacity to suggest that he'd sleep with Princess Diana only after SHE took an H.I.V. test!. What hubris from a little man who had unprotected sex with a porn star (according to her telling, although this sad excuse for a human being vehemently denies it ever happened. Of course, Rudy Guliani confirmed that Trump's former personal attorney] paid $130,000 to silence the woman he allegedly never slept with).
Trump may have no ability to empathize with the sick or with the pain of others unless it is basic and graphic. His failings have a pattern that may form a kind of syndrome. People will not generally think in these terms about him, but if this is true castigating him will serve no purpose. He cannot change any more than one can run on a broken leg.
1
Thank you Mr. Bruni. You said it well. Somehow the idea of an egotist, racist, loudmouthed, disparaging, fake human being at the funeral of an American hero is just too much. Trump has no compassion. And I truly believe he has no heart.....unless it is to love just himself.
1
I am really not sure what you see as virtuous about Melania Trump. Is it that she fights cyber bullies, but not her husband? Is it that she lets her husband have sex with porn stars? Is it that she thinks he is a decent human being. She chose to marry him and chooses to stay married to him every single day. I don't see anything good, decent or virtuous in that.
You are correct, Frank, with one important omission.
Whenever Trump is allowed to speak in public the whole point of the speech is about him, the size of his electoral college win, the size of his crowds, his unparalleled achievements. He preens and bows to soak up the glory of his expected sycophants and minions.
McCain's funeral should be about him, not about an obnoxious, pathological sycophant with an uncontrollable compulsion to brag.
McCain obviously doesn't respect Trump for virtually anything that he stands for, but he ALSO doesn't want a self centered clown bragging about his accomplishments rather than a eulogy.
158
Although the moments are often somber, it has always made me feel better about our country when the former Presidents are together and show respect for one another, and the common mission to put the country ahead of self-interest. It is gratifying to know that Trump will never be a part of this - his absence will always be a reminder of a terrible mistake and an accident of history. I thank John McCain for making it clear to all, that where we can, we should isolate and ignore this loathsome impostor.
227
Trump is an indecent man and a danger to our Country . Good for Mc Cain . I only wish other GOP politicians would make their private disdain public . If they do make clear what they really think about this man , they will be doing the Country a service . Speak up and don`t wait until death is near , or you decide to retire from politics and not run again for you position , to do it . If you do it you are not mean . You are a patriot .
3
Let's not forget all the musicians who turned down the inauguration gig and all the athletes who turned down a WH visit. Our fake President's offensiveness is without precedent, as are these refusals.
9
Beautifully written, Frank. You’ve got it right: Trump is the donkey in the room. His outsized narcissistic personality leaves no air in the room for others. Perhaps he should be invited to Putin’s funeral when that day occurs because of his role in making Russia great again.
3
Who's the lady in the background?
1
Why oh why can’t members of the Republican Party have the courage to call trump what he is — unqualified. It’s more shocking and gutless than trump himself that they (festooned with their silly lapel pin flags) so lack enough genuine patriotism to put country before party.
4
The mere idea that a depraved coward belongs anywhere near an event where a decent courageous man will be celebrated by decent people is utterly absurd.
6
He gets back what he sows. And that's only fair.
3
Remember when Obama and Bush attended the funeral of the five dead cops in Dallas and Obama all but blamed the deaths on the actions of "police violence"? Sometimes it's better to "say nothing at all" and remove one's self from such situations.
As I understand it, John McCain doesn’t want Trump to come to his funeral, but he hopes to be able to go to Trump’s
3
John McCain was always much too conservative for me but I always admired his grit and his indefatigable energy, particularly given how serious his POW injuries were.
I find it appropriate and so characteristic he'd plan his own funeral and more than appropriate that he would disregard convention and insure that his final act would not include a man who hated this country as much as John McCain loved it.
284
Every day a little death. (Sincere apologies to Stephen Sondheim for using his brilliant song title in this way.)
With every passing day of Trump's presidency, democracy experiences a little death. Representative government experiences a little death; American leadership experiences a little death. More damaging still, our citizenry's ability to believe in facts, engage in civil discourse, trust science, and understand and learn from history all experience a little death.
May truth and decency triumph, before we're all attending our country's funeral.
243
The answers to this question would be even more indicative of the appropriateness and popularity of Trump's presence at the funeral of one of his Trump Organization executives, past or present, other than family members. From Trump's executive assistant to the spouse or next closest relative of the deceased: "Donald Trump would be honored to attend the memorial service and funeral of '__________.' Where would it be appropriate for he and his wife to sit?''
The spouse or other relative has anticipated this query, knowing full well that '__________' only worked at the Trump Organization for the money, but detested nearly every minute of it due to the culture of ugly moral compromises. Therefore, a list of prepared answers includes,
1] Sorry, the funeral is only open to family and long-time friends.
2] Sorry, we expect privacy and it would be very inappropriate and upsetting if TV cameras and reporters showed up.
3] Sorry, but we're time limited, and can't fit in a self-congratulatory eulogy.
4] Thank you for asking, but I believe that '_________' and you said your goodbye's to each other before he/she passed. There's no need to do that again.
There are many creative ways to say "NO, THANK YOU!" The trouble with Trump is that he just doesn't get it.
33
The question is not how many personal events Trump will be invited to or not invited to. We can be sure that if the hosts have something to gain or lose, Trump will be invited as long as he is President.
The question should be how many personal events will Trump be invited to when he no longer has the power to help or hinder people. Will he ever be invited just because he is loved or held in affection?
37
I guarantee no one, except perhaps three of his for children, love Trump. Any real affection for Trump by his wife is probably gone in private.
Donald Trump is a sorry excuse for a human being.
1
No. Maybe Mike Pence would, but his wife would probably nix it.
3
The Clinton years were squandered opportunity, a great time of new peace tarnished by the peccadilloes of a weak man.
The Bush years were not our greatest. Torture and a war of aggression concocted on what we now know were outright lies are not anything to be proud of, nor forget.
The Obama years were custodial in nature, with the status quo pretty much left untouched, a half baked health reform and other changes -- gay rights -- that were largely social and Obama can be credited mostly with simply letting the movement be.
But the Trump years are beyond the pale. We are literally flirting with authoritarianism and outright fascism. Clinton, Bush, and Obama now seem like a golden age of olden times. I almost do not know how to put how I feel. Maybe I will say, and I know this will sound terribly US-centric, but I still do think Cheney and Rumsfeld should be brought up on war crimes, but Trump is guilty of crimes against our democracy, and I do not think our nation has ever faced the like.
136
McCain can get his revenge on trump by resigning before May 31. That way there will be a special election in AZ for the remaing 2+ years of his term. trump's head will explode.
5
I agree with most of your sentiments, but it strikes me that most criticisms of Obama's presidency, including yours, can be redirected to the obstructionist GOP. It's hard to change the status quo when Congress blocks any attempt to do so. If Obamacare is "half baked health reform," the American people have the GOP to thank for that.
14
I agree with the poster, except in one respect: the Obama years were far from simply "custodial". He and his administration saved Detroit, saved the economy from another great Depression, brought millions more people healthcare, addressed the obesity epidemic, and brought tremendous goodness, intelligence and grace to the nation. The only trouble was that the systemic racism in this land, including that coming from Trump and his base base (no, that is not a typo), didn't much care for having a black President and made it hard for him to make more progress. If only he could have stayed for another four years.
15
I am so glad that John McCain remains a shining example and leader, even as he faces his own death. Such a brave man. Politics aside, he showed unending love for his family by standing up to the man who bullied him and telling him in no uncertain terms that he is not welcome to attend a final tribute to a life well lived, surrounded by those who admired, respected and loved him. Trump did none of the three. He is not welcome. Nor should he be.
A sad day for America when we finally lose the maverick who is not afraid to defy Trump.
64
What exactly did John McCain do for our nation that makes him a hero again?
1
I disagreed with John McCain and voted for Obama. And I voted Obama again in 2012. But I never doubted nor disrespected McCain's service and his dedication to country. And this time, I agree with McCain to not invite Trump. Trump does not deserve to be anywhere near the memorial service or even the White House. He will turn the attention to himself like a petulant, unloved brat, rather than honor McCain and his service to the country.
Admittedly though, I was rather tolerant of Trump and his nonsense, but mocking the bravery and sacrifice of our servicemen and women and their families was the final straw. THAT is my red line, and unlike Obama, I do not intend to let anyone who crosses it off the hook (yes, I do disagree with Obama even though I voted for him). And while most former presidential candidates put the campaign behind them after it's over, Trump still harps on it again and again, and on Fox News no less, like he can't let go. No, he has no place near any person of decency, for his poison and toxicity will corrode everything around him.
Senator McCain, thank you for your service to our great nation, and may God bless you and your family.
132
Well said, Jon. I have been disturbed by Trump fans' attacks on John McCain that I have seen on mainstream web sites.
One man said he would like to "relieve himself" on John McCain's grave.
These are the people who support Trump, and I am tired of being asked to understand them.
4
You are absolutely right and I agree with you completely. It is good to know there is still some decency in the US.
2
If anyone invites trump to their funeral, and particularly if for some unfathomable reason he is called on to say something, the other invitees would have to be prepared for a speech lauding trump and his electoral victory.
63
Many Australians will mourn with you America at the passing of a truly great man as was John McCain. And Australia mourns with you at the loss of civility and truth and dignity in both your current leader, president is too dignified a word to describe such an important position, and a party who refuses to call their leader to account for his sheer lack of accountability. Let's call it what it is, power at any price.
God bless America, but unfortunately not all Americans deserve that blessing. John McCain does.Vale John McCain.
76
Trump is still the President. McCain's position disrespects the office. It should not matter who the president is. Respect the rank, not the man!
4
At some point the faults of the character holding an office outweigh the honor of the office.
259
Respect is earned and deserved ,
never asked or demanded !
7
This is not the military. Its HIS funeral, and he should decide who receives an invitation to attend. Considering the abominable behavior of Trump at (even) a boy scout jamboree, there is no need to have him soiling the funeral of an American hero.
15
I looked at this photo below, and it brought tears to my eyes. Yes, it is because of the mutual warmth and respect and friendship shared among this group, including Melania with that lovely smile we so rarely see. But also it saddened me for what use to be not too long ago. This group has risen above differing political policies and have searched behind the surface, finding camaraderie and each other's better angels.
I understand from where Senator McCain is coming. It is not about revenge, far from it. This man of tenacious honesty knows a hypocrite when he sees one. He also can spot immediately corruption of soul. He wants a memorial for his family as well as himself, a time to celebrate a life and pray for everlasting peace. What is sad is that Mr. Trump himself may just die a lonely and unhappy man because of the grief he has given to so many, many people. But maybe not...there is always the possibility of atonement.
28
@Kathy Lollock, You wrote my words! This brought tears to my eyes. Someone else said we die each day and that is so correct. A Living nightmare is more appropriate perhaps.
Mr. Trump's indecency is shared by those who voted for him.
139
Well said...though there is also a more mundane explanation. If Donald Trump attends a funeral, the funeral is going to be about Donald Trump, not the deceased. Who wants their last rights to be another episode of the dismal Donald Trump show?
86
Deftly handled, Mr Bruni. I tuned in for a bit of Trump bashing, but came away touched, uplifted even. And that photo is just a great big apolitical hug. Thanks for helping me tap into a benevolent outlook I thought for sure I'd lost.
37
Yes, Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush clashed with Senator McCain. But there is a single incident Mr. Bruni doesn't mention that may explain the special problem with President Trump. This was in July of 2015, when then-candidate Trump, to serve no special gain, said of Senator McCain, "He's not a war hero. He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren't captured."
This comment says a lot about President Trump. He’s not a war hero? Senator McCain flew bombing missions over North Vietnam and then spent six years in a POW prison, while Trump dodged the draft with his sore toe—yet Senator McCain was not good enough of a hero for him! That Senator McCain wouldn't want him at his funeral is pretty easy to understand. And the fact that Trump's candidacy didn't end the day he made this remark says something about the sorry state of our country.
263
Correction: Trump said, "I like people THAT weren't captured."
It might seem like a petty issue to some, but it is yet another example of this pretend-president's illiteracy. People are "who," not "that."
20
Actually, DJT’s gratuitous dissing of the senator is mentioned in the column:
“No, this one’s on Trump, who practices such gratuitous cruelty — he once mocked McCain’s agonizing years as a prisoner of war....”
6
I have only one quibble with your remark. Nobody is a good enough hero for Trump because the only "hero" he recognizes is himself.
13
THANK YOU MR BRUNI FOR THAT ELOQUENT, WARM, AND ARTICULATE OPINION, THE PHOTO OF OUR PRESIDENTS, AND FIRST LADYS , I FIND ELEVATING DURING THIS NIGHTMARE PRESIDENCY. THANK YOU
73
I look at that photo and see the men (and their wives) who led America when we started going down the tubes from GWHB on...
1
Robert, glad you liked the column, but please, no shouting (caps lock on, doh!).
I rarely agree with John McCain's politics. But he is a trooper and patriot to the end. Mr. McCain just launched one more volley for America. He took aim and fired his weapon one more time for American values and integrity. He put himself in the line of fire one more time for the nation he loves. A dying man stood up and told someone who is openly destroying the integrity and and honor of the Office of the Presidency to not show up at his funeral. Mr. McCain just paid Trump the greatest insult. He essentially told Trump that his presence at his funeral would dishonor him, his family and his country by attending. Trump isn't a good enough man to bury John McCain.
596
Splendidly said, Mr. Rozenblit. I wholeheartedly agree with every syllable.
88
“Trump isn’t a good enough man to bury John McCain.” That last line is perfect. I may have to quote you.
35
Barbara Bush is no doubt truly missed by many people. Her husband was apparently grief stricken enough to be hospitalized because of her death. There will be people who truly miss John McCain when he journeys over to the Great Beyond. For the life of me though, I cannot imagine any real people who will actually miss Donald Trump when he dies, and that's all on him.
137
I don't think it was grief necessarily; Mr. Bush just makes it a habit to spend most of his remaining days in a hospital with tubes in his arm and nose to help him live.
He's not a healthy man.
1
Frank Bruni asks, "How Many Funerals Will Donald Trump Have to Skip?"
An interesting question; however, a better question might be, "How Many People Will Skip Trump's Funeral?" Ah, the number -- so immense -- tickles the imagination.
133
Possibly a larger crowd than the Inaugural. Possibly.
4
I suspect there will be a crowd of many thousands at Donald J. Trump's funeral... everyone will want to be sure the casket lid is nailed down tight.
7
Donald doesn't do funerals. The attention is focused on the deceased, not on him.
113
Thank you Frank Bruni for this excellent piece and laying out so clearly the lack of human empathy of our current "president." As you said, he is proudly disrespectful of others. I was not a political supporter of John McCain, but I can respect his service, while Trump disparages the man for being a prisoner of war. It's disheartening and downright sickening to have this man in office as the supposed leader of our country.
100
Thank you Frank. Decency is what we have reasonably come to epect from our presidents. With President Tweet the operative adjectives include vile, venal, vindictive and vulgar. In his latest move at desecrating everything Obama-- killing the Iran nuclear deal-- he reveals once more what makes him tick. While he appears incapable of experiencing true joy, or genuine laughter, or even being able to make true friends, it does appear that what gives him the greatest satisfaction is demeaning others and their accomplishments. We have a manchild brat as president whose constant temper tantrums demonstrate how truly unhappy and insecure he really is. I wish this were only just a bad dream from which we would all awake. Instead it is a living nightmare which grows worse by the day.
73
Good for Senator McCain, and his principles and decency.
Trump is too far gone.
63
Enough about the wonders and magic of John McCain. He lost the presidency. President Trump didn't.
1
Maybe Trump can use the time to meet with another hero, James Shaw Jr., who interrupted the Waffle House shooting and raised money for the victims.
Trump has proven too embarrassing to be in the same place as Senator McCain, but Mr. Shaw may be willing to give Trump another chance to show that he could possibly learn to do at least the ceremonial functions of his job.
42
I applaud John McCain for making it clear that
Trump will not be allowed at his service.
I still find it difficult to comprehend Trump's narcissistic statement about McCain "not being a war hero" because his plane was shot down and he was captured.
We can't normalize Trump's loathsome behavior.
90
I was just thinking that if he contemptuous of people who get shot down, think how he must feel about soldiers who actually get killed.
5
Honestly, I thin a lot of Americans think like Trump and are sick of John McCain pretending he won the Vietnam war from a POW bed in the Hanoi Hilton.
As Mr. Trump noted, there are a lot of men who did more in the wartime than Mr. McCain. He's not a hero really because he got taken prisoner, and strategically, that's not where the hero sodiers make the most impact.
An old man is dying. Who the need to make him into a hero now? To justify his erratic political career?
1
Except that isn't what Trump noted. Trump diminished the heroism McCain showed in refusing the special treatment of an early release (which is what made McCain a hero, your uninformed and callous mischaracterization notwithstanding).
Trump said nothing about the people who did more than he did.
The irony of all this: McCain knows that he will probably be the least in attendance to care who attends his funeral service, and yet he still--perhaps out of concern for the living--has the necessary class to dis-invite his party's leading reprobate.
By the way, excellent essay, Mr Bruni.
46
Trump is a small child in the dark. Terrified of being unloved and alone.
McCain is a bright light. A candle illustrating the best of humanity.
This Democrat will mourn the passing of a great man. And, selfishly, I am hoping he will live until we replace Trump with a worthy successor, be he/she a Democrat or Republican.
43
This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows anything about the life of Donald Trump. While not agreeing with most of John McCain's political positions, he is a legitimate war hero who endured years of torture and abuse. If Trump had ever been captured in combat, he would have been whining from the second he was captured about how his dad was rich and how much would it take to get him out? Then he would spend his first night crying like a spoiled baby and been lucky to have lasted a month as a POW. Can anyone blame McCain for wanting at least a little dignity at his funeral?
39
Good essay. It makes me wonder how many major American statesmen would attend Trump's funeral.
28
Maybe to celebrate? I could see standing-room-only for that.
25
Perhaps someone will echo comedian Red Skelton's observation at Harry Cohn's funeral (Cohn had been head of production at Columbia, and was allegedly the most hated man in Hollywood.)
Casting his eye over the crowd, Skelton is alleged to have remarked, 'It's just like Harry always said: Give the people what they want and they'll turn out for it.'
p.
Trump has become a persona non grata. It did not take him long to reach that status. Do you think any future French or German or British leader will ever invite Trump to any event. A funeral, NO! A wedding, definitely NO! Just a friendly lunch or dinner, ABSOLUTELY NO!
Maybe he can dine with Rudy Giuliani and Sean Hannity and Jenine Pirro or Laura Ingraham. But he'll be unwanted company elsewhere.
62
He must have been cringing at the thought of Trump using the opportunity to lower the presidential bar further -- if that is even possible -- by spouting off about Comey, Hillary, his Electoral College count, or any one of a number of topics.
32
This photo is sweet, but I think of those important, powerful, rich people smiling while millions of Americans rot in poverty, despair, and fear.
14
Should they have been frowning? Not every situation or occasion has to do with issues close to your particular heart. Wait until the funeral is over; then attack the pressing issues of our times.
Man, you really know how to take all the fun out of things, don't you? Lighten up a little. People are allowed to smile. Yes, even rich ones.
1
This photo warms my heart. It's nice to see this club of sorts of leaders, who have handled the toughest job in the world, standing together and looking genuinely gracious and pleasant. Polite. Kind. I miss this kind of behavior, and am happy to see that it's not completely gone.
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Thanks Frank, very well said. I believe most of those who are invited to attend Sen. McCain's memorial, especially his family, will feel the same way.
McCain represents the America we respected and admired.
63
Yes, but you didn't vote for McCain!
Especially his family.
Apparently Trump only attends events with audiences who won’t confront him. That includes funerals and presumably weddings.
31
A relative of mine is graduating from the U.S. Naval Academy later this month. This wonderful, intelligent, exemplary young person and superb Midshipman was sad, embarrassed and upset when he learned the DJT would speak at his graduation.
693
The Navy has an even bigger problem than Trump as graduation speaker. Hopefully, large aircraft carriers will be obsolete before too many more are made, as they tend to be named after presidents. There are already carriers named for Reagan and G H W Bush. Only three presidents remain as a buffer.
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I can only imagine the sense of disappointment. There are two USNA grads in my family, and commencement there is usually such a stirring (and emotional) event. It broke my heart when I saw DJT would be the speaker. You know he's incapable of sticking with prepared remarks, and just the anticipation of what he'll say will sully the event.
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They should stand with their backs to Trump while he brags away non-stop.
18
How Many Funerals Will Donald Trump Have to Skip?
Every one, when of a person of any humanity.
48
Memorable and deeply moving, the beauty of the previous presidents and their wives at Barbara Bush's funeral. Melania Trump, our present First Lady, fitted in among the previous presidents of both parties though her husband did not attend the "Ode to Joy" remembrance. Mrs. Trump's husband will be skipping many more funerals, Frank Bruni. But we can be assured of one he will attend, hopefully in the unforeseeable and distant future. What a strange pass we have come to in our country today!
29
Partisanship is one thing; human decency is another.
Even legendary Republican fixtures can see that President Obama is a respectful and respectable person, while Trump is not.
Let’s give McCain even further credit for something here, too. Most of us would struggle to envision our funeral; the Senator is making known that rejecting Trump was his final act in life.
1054
I think that's right. He's using the most powerful moment to make a most powerful statement. Also? Think of how his family would feel with Trump there. He's considering them, and that's lovely and right.
534
Mr. Bruni, that was my first thought also....that Mr. McCain was being considerate of his own family's feelings. I would venture to say there have been many family conversations about this funeral and the decision to avoid a fiasco was mutually agreed upon by all.
My husband was the Class of '01 and President Bush spoke. This was pre-9/11, and post-2000 election chaos. He was still warmly received because -- in spite of everything the country had gone through during that election -- Bush was still a good man at heart and we still have a photo of my husband shaking his hand hanging in our home. We may not have loved his policies, but he is a decent man who may not have served himself (a la John McCain) but still respected the military enormously. I imagine many mids will secretly be fuming but because they uphold their duties as soon-to-be-commissioned officers, they won't turn their backs on him even though I bet many wish they could. I feel for this class!
1
When Trump passes. it will be Putin giving the eulogy.
176
And finally, huge crowds dancing in the streets.
11
One can only wish that it be soon.
2
The question of how many funerals Trump won’t be invited to raises another question: what will Trump’s own funeral look like? Who will pay tribute to a disreputable man? How to eulogize a man who spent his life cheating, lying and bullying? Even for his political career, Trump is intent on destroying and taunting, not on creating and elevating.
This is not to be morbid or cruel. We all write our own epitaphs with how we treat others and conduct ourselves. No amount of money or power can afford Trump a better remembrance than he will have earned.
801
The Irish essentially conclude that 'how well one's life was lived ' is determined in large measure by how well attended their wake is.
57
Don't worry. Rudy will be free to eulogize him. The question is whether he will do it in drag.
41
It's often referred to as "karma".
32
Trump: I have no respect for dead people. They cannot compliment me. They lay there, take up real estate. I prefer my sycophants sycophanting.
145
We didn't make Mr. Trump our President to be polite and say cute things. Or our pastor, or grief counselor.
We needed many things fixed, and he has done more to fix serious problems than the last three put together.
I can listen to polished speakers who ended up as Mr. Results-free any day of the week. None of this chorus of haters chiming in today have had their opinion of Pres. Trump altered in the slightest degree because of his not attending large assemblies.
1
Rest assured, not in the slightest degree do I think any less of Trump because his inaugural crowd wasn't such a "large assembly."
27
I would really like to hear someone list the things that have been "fixed" since January of 2016.
Be specific.
Have the coal jobs come back? Peace in the middle east? Are we winning so much we're tired of it, yet?
67
Isn't politeness the bare minimum of expected behavior for professional adults, let alone the President?
The party that claims to support the military elected a draft dodger who disrespected a brave man's service.
Still waiting for Trump's improvement on the ACA. I think we'll be at war with Iran sooner than that will happen.
51
Onc would think that being singled out as not invited to these events would cause that individual to take a serious look at themselves. Sadly, Mr. Trump is incapable of that. He has acted in such a manner that those with any class or decency object to his presence. Trump seems obsessed with his legacy - I wonder if he has taken the time to ponder that given the fact he isn't welcome at these events, his own legacy will be forever tainted (any any memorial probably poorly attended).
53
"We have a president so proudly offensive that his last respects are spoiled goods. Is there any better illustration of what ugly, unprecedented terrain we’re crossing?"
We can only hope that we are indeed crossing this terrain, on our way to a better place in terms of politics, policy and comity. I hope that Trump is a temporary aberration but at times I fear that may be misguided and overly optimistic. A sizable chunk of our fellow Americans actually approve of this abomination.
53
Yes, and they seem to approve no matter what he says or does. Having an affair with a porn star, after his wife has just given birth to his child? They give him a "mulligan." Talk about a lack of human decency!
2
It's safe to say that Melania was treated more kindly by every one of those people in the picture than those people have ever been treated by Trump.
709
And Melania has a broader, more genuine smile in this picture than I've ever seen her give when in the presence of her husband.
125
I wouldn't be surprised, koyaanisqatsi, if Melania was treated more kindly by every one of those people in the picture than SHE has ever been treated by Trump.
31
And perhaps better than Melania herself has been treated by Trump.
11
Contrary to tradition, this accidental POTUS will be purposefully snubbed by every decent past and present public figure making his or her final arrangements.
Why would anyone want a crass, attention-grabbing, painfully ignorant meathead at one's own life celebration...using it as an opportunity to brag about his election victory and whine about how unfair everyone is to him?
Does anyone else remember him pushing the Montenegro PM aside so he could take center stage for the NATO photo? Or pushing Melania off-stage after her introduction of him at Joint Base Andrews?
Experienced men and women know exactly what Trump is...and want to keep him away from their family and friends.
311
Would you want him at your funeral? I sure as you-know-what wouldn't want him at mine.
65
Trump is very welcome at my funeral . . . as long as he's dead, too!
2
Mr. Lombard,
Perhaps I am feeling punchy but your comment caused a genuine good laugh on my part and wishing you many more Harvest Moons.
4
I think thats the first time I've seen Melania Trump genuinely
smile since she became the first Lady
111
A beautiful picture......There is a feeling in it that is very touching. This viewer felt herself to be part of it.
22
Wouldn’t you smile if you were 1500 miles from your personal ogre?
8
If he attended mine, I swear to God I would reanimate and chase him away.
But, that's just ME.
310
All the people in the photo, whatever their shortcomings, retain a capacity for genuine empathy, as their unforced smiles indicate. In his pictures, Trump generally displays a scowl or a smirk, almost never a smile revealing inner warmth.
Including him in this photo-op would have destroyed the feeling of comity that united the others, while at the same time introducing a lack of authenticity that would have ruined the picture for the viewer. In like manner, Trump's presence at the funeral would have distracted the mourners, making it difficult for them to focus on their sorrow at the loss of a great lady.
Trump, the hollow man, never belongs in any environment where people are expressing genuine emotions.
74
Great article Mr. Bruni. I wish someone would read it to Trump.
86
The Obamas weren't invited to Prince William's wedding either. A week later Prince Charles was suddenly in the Oval Office for a hastily arranged photo op with Barack Obama. I'm sure the real reason for the visit was that Prince Charles had to apologize to President Obama for not inviting him and his wife to his son's wedding, a future king of England.
My late mother was right -- weddings, bar mitzvahs and funerals were the perfect places to create enemies for life.
12
A funeral is to honor and celebrate a life well lived. The emotionally stunted, angry, bitter narcissist occupying the Oval hasn't a clue about honor, empathy, joy, love, laughter, compassion, friendship, or family (unless it's a crime family). He is a toxic presence. Great column Frank.
208
Trump is destructive, vindictive and almost certainly a criminal. Would you want him or someone like him at your funeral or a loved one's? Trump's abhorrent behavior has made him persona non grata at funerals, correspondent dinners, and just about any gathering other than his Nuremberg type rallies with the troglodytes that continue to support him. The only reasonable, response by citizens who love this country is to shun and isolate this menace to society to the greatest extent possible. Dems and progessives winning the midterms bigly is the best way to do this.
55
trump is so mean, so hostile, so inhumane - why would anybody want him near during such a vulnerable event as a funeral.
There's a reason you are a pariah, 45.
65
As parish priest, I have done many funerals. Be they small and local or big and newsworthy, they are for the true mourners very intimate experiences. You are truly present with your own thoughts and emotions. It is both private and public but each must be respected and acknowledged.
I have to respect the wishes of Senator John McCain not to have present someone at his funeral who personally belittled his servrice and sacrifice but also ignored the sacrifices, uncertainties and pains of his family.
Common decency should have kept Donald Trump from being present at Senator McCains funeral. It is sad that Senator McCain knew that that decency did not exist and had to make is wishes explicit. He knows it will validate the truth of the debasement of the Presidency under Trump.
257
If you invoke "common decency" as a standard, you may be sure that Trump will not understand. He no more understands "common decency" than do pigs at a feeding trough. That he happens to be the biggest and greediest hog only makes it that much worse.
5
Trump deemed a young widow whose husband died in Niger. He showed utter disdain to a Gold Star family. He insulted a POW who went on to serve our country for decades. Trump gave fake bone spurs as his service.
Trump has as little business being Commander-in-Chief as he does attending funerals for those who served with honor.
238
John McCain is placing the onus on himself in not inviting Trump to his funeral. Go ahead and invite Trump, John McCain. Trump will probably decline anyway, as he did with Barbara Bush's funeral, giving his ridiculous "security" excuse. Trump doesn't want to face the people who will be there, like Obama. That Trump is a coward in this way should be put squarely back on him. Besides, funerals and grave sites are for the people left behind. Go ahead and denounce Trump while you are alive. But after you are gone, let those still burdened with living sort things out for themselves.
4
I believe that when faced with a "heckler" in the 2008 campaign spouting forth about Obama, McCain paused and specifically called out that Obama 'is a good man."
In the environment of 2018, that says a lot about Mr. McCain
434
The only funeral Trump will have to attend will be his own, but chances are he won't be welcome even there. Mr. Bruni has it 100% right. Trump is an abomination, and no decent human being wants any part of him.
553
Certainly he will skip the funerals of all those that come into Dover Delaware because of his recklessness.
67
It's hard to picture Trump at a big funeral. An event where he's not the star, where he'd have to sit and listen to everyone talking about someone other than him. Where he'd have to show respect for the deceased and for mourners.
Has he ever been to a funeral? I suppose he went to his parents' and his brother Fred's. But that would have been different -- he could have bossed everyone around and cut out when the attention shifted to the deceased.
His lack of empathy and human feeling are astonishing. The only thing more astonishing is that we elected this damaged, dark person to lead our country and the free world. What a tragedy.
975
"We" ? about 24% of the eligible U.S. voters thought this was a good idea
77
Yes, but those who stayed home and didn't vote share an equal measure of responsibility.
5
DJT is not the "Leader of the Free World"
26
"Barbara Bush was a legendary figure in Trump’s own party. "
I think a great pert of the problem with Trump as a national figure is that he is not really a member of the Republican party. He is a carpetbagger, and opportunist who latched onto whatever mechanism would benefit him personally. Trump as allegiance to no one but himself.
95
You may not like it, but it's Trump's Republican party now.
1
True, but note who welcomed him, and who voted for him. He didn't force his way into the GOP at gunpoint, although given the NRA it would have been appropriate.
McConnell, Ryan, Nunes, and the rest have not said a word to indicate their disapproval, and G-d knows they've had opportunities.
No occasion involving dignity, comity, or even a rudimentary knowledge of decent comportment, is a place for the Vulgarian in Chief.
3
You pays yer money and takes your cherce, as they used to say.
McCain, jet pilot and son of an admiral, refused repatriation after capture because it meant special treatment.
Trump, son of a KKK sympathizer and racist landlord, refuses anything decent and honest in his private life and his business. Now that he is President this side of him remains dominant in DC and around the world, for all the world to see.
One man nearly died in a plane while bombs misfired all around him on a burning deck. Surviving that, he later crashed a missile-hit plane, and survived torture and isolation.
The other man approves of torture and forgets where his foot spur was when he escaped military service.
McCain is political and, alas, foolishly once Palin-fooled, but he is also brave, loyal, patriotic, good-humored, and humane. That other guy is as alien to those qualities as a BEM, a sci fi villain, a bug-eyed monster from another, a sinister universe. Sail on, John McCain, heroic to the very last.
338
Unforgivable. Thats what it is, and McCain is straight up about it. Trump is an unforgivable stain on our country and everyone knows it; we have the photographs to prove it.
Ultimately, however, it is an indictment on the electorate. They voted for him. The voters have confused corporate greed with racism. The jobs left because of greed, not because Juan took it.
I was at a gas pump the other day in Northern Nevada. I wore a Harley t-shirt. A nice gentlemen, obviously a farmer, struck up a pleasant conversation with me. We chatted, we talked about what we do for a living. He mentioned he lent his son in law money to flip a house. He said he had to watch him as he wasn't working the hours he reported. He disapproved. We had a laugh. We drove off. That guy is a Trump voter. He demanded truth from his son in law. He doesn't from his President. I'll never understand that.
243
Me either.
12
I think the decision was a kindness to his future widow so that she wouldn't have to listen to the inevitable rehash of his biggest inauguration crowd & all the other lies he repeatedly tells. Funerals & wakes are kinds of celebrations but they shouldn't be a circus.
59
Absolutely spot on. Imagine How painful for a wife to watch a beloved husband and father of her children pass from a merciless disease only to face a funeral that included the indecent man who went out of his way to publicly shame and humiliate her very decent one.
Our hearts go out to Mrs. McCain and the entire family in this situation.
4
The mind boggles at the list of former POTUSes who are likely making the very same instruction part of their funeral plans - as well as SCOTUS Justices and other notable D.C. pols who wouldn't want their loved ones potentially sitting through a memorial which might see His Unhinged Unraveling Unfitness looking for cameras and mics to deliver sound bites, or Twittering away.
The GOP'ers that don't share the Orange Orangutan's rabies are horrified that the elements they long labored to leverage to power, have now burst out into the open at 1600 Penn. as a result of the mis-calculation by GOP'er leaders to let someone onto any of their party ballots who would not produce his tax returns.
An election process FAIL.
Everything that has happened and is yet to happen is due to this failure of GOP'er leaders to reject the Pumpkin Bambino from their party, because: judges, tax cuts.
Their failure was an act of self-immolation, which they don't even care about, as their ideology blinds them and they are continuing to 'burn the place down', confirming judges helter-skelter, overriding 'regular order' of blue slips, etc.
GOP'ers have been quitting in droves rather than face the voters' judgement at the polls, to collect their just rewards.
Regular readers know we've been saying for more than a decade how radical these folks are, and a lot of GOP'er patriots don't want a Rolling Trumpster Fire anywhere near solemn ceremonies for themselves or their loved ones.
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A point which shouldn't get lost: these type events can be as much about the symbolism of unity as inaugurations are - i.e, there aren't many more occasions Americans will see the 2 Johnson daughters and their husbands sitting next to the 2 Nixon daughters and their husbands in the same pew.
And to be fair, from the family's viewpoint, for a sitting POTUS to attend such an event is a huge disruption and changes the focus/attention, since there are magnetometers and the motorcade would have to sit out front, etc., etc. These first ladies have their lives disrupted enough by security concerns - they shouldn't have their memorials also disrupted, which is why it is so very very very infrequent that a sitting POTUS attends:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-barack-obama-na...
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I miss decency. I realized that I am addicted to the Great British Bake Off because everyone is so decent to each other - all the time. I am so ready for the experts and the grown ups to come back, and for this crowd that is more corrupt than ever I ever could have imagined to leave. I fear that it will take us a long time to regain our decency and credibility in the world.
444
I love to watch MasterChef Australia. A striking difference between MasterChef Australia and MasterChef USA or any of the American reality TV shows, is how decent people are in the former - judges, contestants and even the production (no filming of gratuitous bad behaviour).
As I witness the growing lack of decency in Indian reality TV, and in Indian public life, the same as I see in the USA, I wonder about the connection between the two. If we watch non-stop bad behaviour on screen, will it not seep into our own behaviour?
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Yes, it will and it has.
We should all watch less teevee.
Most of it is damaging junk.
What a surprising and, I think, insightful comment. By that I mean that I never expected a cooking show, more or less, to pop up in the comments, but you bring it up in a way that's so very germane. I haven't watched that show, but fans of it always tell me that it avoids the cruelty, the jeering, the leering, the let's-watch-people-embarrass-themselves spirit of so many other competitions and reality shows. I wonder how much of the spirit I just described reflects and in turn colors our public discourse. I wonder if the Great British Bake Off's popularity is all about an exhaustion and disgust with that spirit. And I note anew Trump's background in reality TV. There's something in all of that, and you have your finger on it. Thank you.
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You can't have civilization without civility.
President Trump's lack of civility is destabilizing our country and the world with the only guiding principles vanity and greed.
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Patrick Are you saying that every country in the world, including the U.S., is in a state if chaos due to President Trump?
I think not.
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You can think what you want sarah, however you are in the minority.
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Manderine
Do you have statistics on percentages?
The photo shows Melania with a genuinely happy smile. Have never seen that before. Trump inhabits a mean, paranoid, zero sum world, and is incapable of introspection or change. There will never be any rapprochement. He will never be welcomed at anyone's funeral, including mine!
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Could the reason for the smile be that she got away from Don for a day, and actually got to experience normal life?
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She is smiling because is sitting next to a man of integrity who respects women. She hasn't had too much of that lately.
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What a telling illustration of the unfortunate situation the President has put himself in
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frank,
love your columns but i would hardly put melania in any category with michelle.
she's endorsed and tolerated her horrid husband for 13 years, even living with him for 5 years before marrying him.
she knew what he was.
she's not a decent innocent.
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OK, but as First Lady, Melania tries to conduct herself with decorum and respectfulness. Imagine she acted the way her husband does. Imagine the potential for international embarrassment.
I'm really not interested in judging her for throwing her lot in with Trump. It speaks for itself. But I'll tell you what: if she filed for divorce while he's in office (she has ample grounds), I would think that was awesome.
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Hmmmm. I don't think I quite equated Melania and MIchelle. But I do take your point. Thanks for joining the conversation.
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I agree that she is not innocent but at least she is trying to act like she has respect for the position that she has been placed in.
She appears to know some of the right things to do even if her husband does not.
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I'm sure DT would rather be golfing, anyways.
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