A 1958 boomer here and recently retired moving to "being" from "doing." I have watched countless people from all generations waste time for decades, and I decided I want to try that. Why am I out busting my butt when countless people haven't worked for decades, living off the system or family, when I have the resources to quit myself. So I take my little pension and medical contribution and see what this wasting time thing is all about. I do not regret my career but so far leisurely mornings with tea and reading, gym workouts, and afternoons of any variety of reading, writing, or general wasting of time is going pretty good. But I would not have this if I had not done that.
125
Its surprising to read all of these angry comments about baby boomers, some of which would have you believe there was an entire American generation of selfish, bad people who cared about no one but themselves and offered nothing positive for this country during their lifetimes. The generalization is stunning, and shows how easy it is for fellow Americans to create dangerous divides between themselves and others. The truth is always more complicated than media tag word categories that label humans based on age, race, sex, generation or any other trait that one may have a bias for or against. There really IS a need for people to take the time to chill out and enjoy life!
87
"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans."
- John Lennon (originally Allen Saunders)
26
I'm a baby boomer and a working stiff and I'll be working unti the day I die. No longer can a middle class baby boomer live of their pension, social security and medicare. No matter if the Republicans stay in office or not. Those days are over.
43
I dunno. I feel like I'm just getting started.
28
I, too, am vintage 1946, popping the cork on Mom's amniotic fluid at 3 AM, Dec. 26, a belated Christmas present to Dad, who, 30 years or so later, admitted he had not a clue on this earth of what to do with me at that moment or all the other moments up to the current one either.
Dad accomplished the most important of the items on his to-do list. He went back home to a quiet SE Oklahoma mountain valley, renewed old friendships, made lots of new ones, and puttered away days and years. Dementia put an early end to that idyll and he was taken to Florida to be near his wife's family and be just plain idle.
Dad's mom died of Alzheimer's and in a few years, I'll be at the age when Dad's symptoms had finally become to obvious to deny, though for him, Alzheimer's would have been a blessing in disguise. He maintained his recognition of others, sense of awareness of self and of life, but lost the ability to communicate meaningfully in speech, writing, pointing at pictures.
So, here I find myself, wondering if the reason I can put something down and not 10 seconds later begin an hour-long search for it, fruitless, as often as not, is the beginning of the end of my to-do list.
Sleeping with a redhead used to on it. The only time I ever had a date with one was in high school. When I arrived to take her to the dance or movie, she found one reason after another to not leave the house until, an hour later, I excused myself and went home.
As for #2, let's see...where is that list.
17
I am a new retiree who is loving not having to do anything. So what do I do? I keep my house tidy; something I never had time to do when I was working 12-14-hour days for the last 9 years. I joined a gym and go 3-4 times a week. I'm cooking for myself and for others, including providing dinner to a local women's shelter once a month. I'm a book club and reading books again. I was so burnt out from having no life other than my job (and having to get through the loss of my husband with only a 3-day break after he died) that I was looking at my work and it might as well have been in Aramaic. I know that the "popular" goal for boomers is to cram as much as possible into our final years, but so what? When we're all a pile of ashes or mouldering in the grave, who cares whether we saw Macchu Picchu? No one's children want their travel photos. For me, the idea of being able to sit on my screened porch and watch the rain fall, or smell the morning dew; to be able to actually read a book, to go to the gym because I want to and stay as long as I want; to book a meal for friends -- that's MY idea of "living a full life." It doesn't have to involve doing things to make your friends envy you on social media.
236
I miss the pre Boomer generation. The one that just lived their lives and then died and got out of the way for ours. No need to write endless celebratory and nihilistic op ed columns about our generation and longevity. No need to keep reminding the poor generations of our imagined greatness. The generations after ours who are going to inherit the mess we are leaving them. I wish our generation would simply have the decency to admit our many faults and the damage we have done to this once great land. Perhaps even work to fix some of it. Before we die. But alas, that’s asking too much of the Boomers. We will go out clawing and scratching and telling ourselves and everyone else that we deserved to live forever.
41
I have to agree with some of these comments. My parents were the greatest generation, but what did I learn from them? "If something don't work out....try something else. " I see so many of my boomer generation just not adapting. When the mines shut down on my Dad, he tried a new trade and off we moved. I see so many just whining and expecting handouts, while the really needy go with out. As for honesty in government....that went out the window with quite a few presidents more intent on themselves than the country. My to do list has grown as my children have left the nest. I still protest, I still value education and I strive to continue to learn and see new things. "Keep yourself busy" my Dad always said. He was right. There are no reruns or redos with our life. Sure, we make mistakes. But in a recent movie....someone said "failure is a good teacher". Too bad so many people are afraid to fail. You might just learn something.
22
With all the generation bashing going on in the comments, maybe we should get one thing straight. Boomers weren’t responsible for any wars.
World War II: the silent generation and its predecessor
Cold War: the silent generation and
Korea: the silent generation
Vietnam: the silent generation
Possible WWIII/Cuban missile crisis: the silent generation
Granada: the silent generation
Kosovo: (humanitarian effort only): Boomers
Gulf War I: the silent generation
Gulf War II: result of a deception regarding WMD perpetrated by Dick Cheney (born 1941 silent generation) upon first year Baby Boomer (George Bush born 1946): the silent generation
Libya: Barrack Obama (born 1961 Boomer/Gen X depending on how you mark the end of one and beginning of next—not an actual war)
Also: We were the first (and for all practical purposes) only members of the Peace Corps
We were the ones who first read Silent Spring in high school and started pushing to clean up the planet
We also put on earth all the whiners who are complaining about us. Probably our biggest mistake.
79
The greed & profiteering that arose after the boomers opted for the easy life & abandoned the industrial economy of their parents that now forces millennials to co-habitate out of necessity rather than choice, living a bohemian existence until the belated "white wedding" occurring years into an ongoing relationship, ironically depends on parents & grandparents who created the mess in the first place to insure possession of the love nest & a measure of stability.
12
I will ironically quote Boomer Eileen Myles' verse on Robert Lowell, and say that this generation is "insensate beyond belief and / Filled with much anxiety about [their] imagined / Pain."
6
A boomer am I as well, yet I'm told that when when Jefferson wrote "pursuit of happiness," he actually meant "achievement of social harmony," as the term was understood back in that day.
And so it would seem that Whitman's interpretation follows on that theme.
Maybe the Asian view is right after all -- that "freedom" should not be the goal, but only a means to an end -- with that end being social harmony.
23
I am too old to be a boomer. One thing I've learned about retirement is that you have to change gears, learn to savor each moment. If competition, organization and multitasking defined your working years, you may have trouble with this. Your previous life may have put the quiet enjoyment of simply being alive at the bottom of your to-do lists. Now it should be at the top. You may find that you were never really happy - 'life is what happened while you were making plans'. Now is your chance to make up for that.
35
what about the fact that in 1968 we were protesting the war, Nixon, and the mess our parents generation had made of the world. Now look at us, we are responsible for what our children are fighting against, pollution, guns, loss of privacy and trump(he does not merit a capitol letter).
25
Always plenty to do, always plenty worth doing.
29
What a wonderful read/insight, Ms Hampl. Thanks for the read.
19
So you benefited from the progressive taxation and strong unions of the Eisenhower years. You entered a strong school system, and got good living wage jobs.
Then you increased your benefits and cut your taxes.
Now younger people hate your guts. How will that end?
In a nursing home, alone, while some temp help pushes you into a small windowless room. Jerks.
26
Preach, friend, preach. They paid for their parent's sacrifice with their children's future. The worst generation.
20
Reading through these comments is hilarious, I thank you all for my morning laugh. The Greatest Generation hates The Boomers, Gen-X hates The Boomers and so on.
What strikes me is that each comment is making a generalization on groups of people who dared to be born during a given set of years.
Not everyone from one generation or another is good or bad, we are people, human beings. Not everyone in The Greatest Generation fought the good fight and then came along the Boomers who threw it all away. The Boomers are the children of the previous generation, as the Gen-Xers and younger generations are the children and grandchildren of The Boomers. Yet you’re all talking as if one has nothing to do with the other! Which you have to admit is strange.
Oh and one more thing, each generation are not only Americans. There are older & younger people in other countries too. A lot of them did not have such a rosy life during the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s or even today.
I would suggest that you life your life now and help people who may not have it as easy as you do. No matter your age or theirs.
64
... for each progressive action there is a counter reaction. Such as automation = more leisure time = fewer jobs. Oops.
So Gen Xers, Millennials, etc. just remember that you're already creating some positives and some negatives. And younger generations will hate you too.
16
Wise words, Jo. I always laugh (ok, snarl), when I read so much Boomer-shaming. Yes, I know we squandered some wealth, have not been good stewards of Mother Earth.. indulged our kids too much, but we also rose up to fight against an ugly war, racism, actually noticed what modern life was doing to the environment. We also stood up for ourselves -- women, the disabled, minority groups of all descriptions. In fact, many of the causes the younger gens get all hot about were brought to the fore in one shape or form by Boomers. You're welcome.
The point is that all generations create good and bad, and for each "progress" there's a counter
28
1953.
I think it’s appropriate to paste the lyrics of one of mine, and probably your all time favorite soul singers who in 1967, passed away at at just 26. Otis Redding, SITTING ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY. go on. Sing along
Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes
Watchin' the ships roll in
Then I watch 'em roll away again
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide, roll away
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
I left my home in Georgia
And I headed for the Frisco Bay
'Cause I've got nothin' to live for
Looks like nothin's gonna come my way, so
I'm just come sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide roll away
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay, wastin' time
Looks like nothin's gonna change
Everything seems to stay the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same
I'm sittin' here restin' my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
This two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home
Now I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide roll away
Sittin' on the dock of the bay
I'm wastin' time. (whistling).
Songwriters: Steve Cropper / Otis Redding
(Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, I
32
Beautiful. And appropriate.
8
I'm a boomer, but at the much younger end. A Boomer/Gen X hybrid. I'm not sure what midlife is anymore but in my late husband's case, midlife was reached at 25. The life we had planned, the years of wanderlust after retirement, will not come to pass. Instead, I will be working, both to keep my mind active and to earn money. Death will serve as my retirement. Rather than looking inward, boomers need to take responsibility for the state they are leaving the country. Our current White House denizen who is holding the wrecking ball is one of them. Perhaps the solution for baby boomers looking for meaning in their lives is to work to make this country a better place for their children and grandchildren. Maybe that should be the first item on their "to do" list.
39
A lot of boomers hate Trump more than you can possibly imagine.
58
So many bad vibe comments from the nattering nabobs of negativity complaining about the grooviest generation ever that broke all the roles and rules of the uptight 50s.
29
...and then, as soon as they turned 40, became a monstrous force in rolling back every right gained by women and minorities. Just look at aalllll those boomers in Congress and the White House. THAT'S your legacy. Also, the boomers role in the changes of the sixties are way overblown. Most of the people making change at that time - MLK, Gloria Steinem, and others - aren't boomers. They're older - between boomers and the greatest generation. I teach U.S. History and you have officially, literally made it into the textbooks as a generation of take, take, take with minimal sacrifice. But.....you know, "you look GOOD!"
19
I doubt if history says those Boomers who fought in Vietnam and subsequent conflicts were takers with minimum sacrifice. Nor about those who went registered voters in the Jim Crow South, marched against the war, worked in anti-poverty programs, fought for equality and embraced it the "Other," became doctors, lawyers, and all sorts of other livelihoods to help others. It's a shame that some people fail to recognize that generations are not monolithic. The right wingers in the WH and Congress are fighting virtually everything that the Boomer generation is known for. And if you want to say Boomers didn't bring enormous positive changes to our country, tell that to LGBTQ folks, women, people of color and anyone else who was treated as a second class citizen before the Boomers came along. The Boomers impact on the US and the world is profound. It is a bit scary, Belzoni, that you teach US History. I hope it's not in the LAUSD.
15
No, no, no. We still have a lot of work to do. There's a tyrannical demagogue running our country and ruining our immediate future (and our children's future). Go register young voters, block walk, drive people to the polls. Support the kids who are last vowing to do something about gun control. Sorry, but loafing is not in my DNA. There's too much at stake.
48
This is nuts! Personally I just do till I can't do! I don't get out a ruler and confound my successes by comparing it to some imaginary standard or list. You're either happy or you're not. if you're not, fix it or accept it and move on.
14
There is an old Italian saying:
“I’ll dolce far niente” : The sweetness of doing nothing.
13
Having my life changed radially by an out if the blue illness that has left me disabled at age 70, I must confess that I sorely miss my "to do list" or , more aptly, my WANT to do list. I never expected to be living a health necessitated" loafing "life at this stage. It doesn't feel really fulfilling nor has it resulted in some beatific state of happiness. This latter idea is an illusion. Happiness is a feeling that comes and goes like all feelings. I don't believe in a Nirvana, rather I think it's important that people try and pursue their desires and gain feelings of satisfaction therein. Unfortunately, necessities can rudely intervene and alter our courses forever. The task then becomes finding new ways to feel as happy as we can as often as we can. Those who expect to feel happy always are doomed to either disappointent or a stay in a mental hospital.
6
ironic that the Greatest Generation bestowed the Boomers with everything and they made a complete mess of it. Sad.
7
The end of the to-do list is a faroff horizon for this boomer. In the meantime, I'll be checking off items as long as I'm able.
7
My first instinct is to laugh at this piece and lay blame on the many selfish, successful Baby Boomers I know ...but then I think of my uncle who is also a Baby Boomer. He did two tours in Vietnam, saved a fellow soldier from a burning jet plane and has struggled the rest of his life with PTSD while trying to hold down a job and support his kids. He’s as brave as anybody that fought in WWII and certainly deserves to be called a hero for many reasons... and he’s probably never going to be able to retire.
The good part of living in a world as complex as ours means that generalizing becomes a more and more absurd thing to do. As such, one questions the point of articles like this.
30
Not.so.fast.
The Boomer's gave us 3 catastrophic administrations -- corrupted by philandering, widening income inequality, a multitrillion-dollar war waged on a lie, and no solution in sight.
At best, we let Obama -- not a true boomer, by the way -- straighten things out. But it took an economic Crash to bring us to our knees, and his goals were quickly constrained by GOP control of the Congress after just 2 years.
If "leave the world in better condition than what you found it in" has any meaning, we have to not only get Trump out, but we have to fix so much that he has broken already, like the catastrophic Tax Bill (which he signed without ever revealing his own tax returns) that will leave our kids and grandkids with an extra $1.5 trillion in debt.
And we have to fix these monopolies that are killing our communities and exploiting our inter-personal communications: Facebook, Google, Amazon, Apple.
And we have to keep guns out of our cities and towns.
And the world is heating up -- not just climate, but political and economic turmoil too.
And viruses are still hovering over us, one mutation away from pandemic levels.
No, I am not quitting. I am just getting started.
We should start emulating our 20 and 30 somethings, they are looking farther into the futures than we are, but from their purviews, there are much clearer guideposts on what must be done.
The child is father to the man...
19
I have food for thought for the youngers. I think the best state at the third stage is feeding and keeping the wish to solve the mistery of our existence and this world. I have seen milionaries very unhappy, claiming about everything, because they leave occupied only with material things, their mind died at younger age. maybe they are right, because if you do what I did - 50% of my time devoted dealing with material life, and another 50% searching information about the whole world and developing my own world's theory - I arrive to this age very poor, but never so happy, because now I have more time for continuing my search. Making comparison with my milionaries friends/neighbors, I think I am more happy than they are, all time as retired still is very little for what I have and want to do.
5
I am 67 and will be retiring in less than three weeks. I don’t have a “to do” list, but I do have one labeled “to be.”
The items on it include being more:
* loving
* gentle
* mindful
* kind
* accepting
* appreciative
* grateful, and
* willing to allow the universe to reveal itself to me.
Everything else is bubkas.
87
Yes, financially I am set for life. Providing that I die next week. Some of us don't have the 'choice' to retire and will die standing, bagging groceries at the mega market.
49
As I read the comments I see a common thread of boomer bashing. I also see a lot of complaining about “supporting Boomers.” I must assume this refers to Social Security and Medicare which we Boomers have been funding for decades. We paid into a system with the expectation it would be there for us. Our S.S. contributes also took care of previous generations. We did it without the constant whining and bellyaching I hear from younger generations. I must therefore conclude you were GIVEN too much, too easily, and therefore you appreciate little.
64
Welll...this Xer had to grow up with Boomers who were so smug and self-righteous about saving the world and then ruling it. I saw folks who ditched the love and peace philosophy by the late 70s to rip out each other's throats when the Reagan Era made social Darwinism cool again.
So these golden geezers should expect some pushback. It's not like they are going to lose the warchests they hoarded while climbing the ladder. On the other hand, the Generation before the Boomers: Heroes, many of them strong and silent types who endured a Depression and defeated Fascism and came home to (mostly) middle-class domesticity? They are the ones to thank...those parents the Boomers rebelled against.
At least the Boomers gave us music that endured. Cling to that cultural contribution.
12
Yep. Those parents and grandparents were the ones who actually did the things the Boomers like to take credit for, too. Creating an EPA. Writing and enacting civil rights legislation. The Boomers made noise, all right, but it was those old people waiting for a moment who made the sale.
4
Problem is, SS/Medicare ARE a Ponzi scheme. You are correct YOUR SS taxes paid for YOUR parents SS...millenials know that with government debt there will not be anywhere near the same return for their taxes paid. They hav a legitimate gripe on that account- I assume you would be screaming out loud if YOUR SS check was cut/taxed more etc...self righteousness is also another legacy of us boomers....and we also score fairly high on the scale of self centeredness.
2
Loafing, for some of us, means immersion in interesting pursuits unavailable while working 10-hour days. Tutoring a would-be reader, hosting a party, slipping the kayak into the river, taking a course in physics. Loafing needn't be synonymous with sloth or simply "smelling the roses." It can be any pursuit that makes the heart and mind celebrate by sighing, "ahhhhhh.... this is so good."
23
And that should not be. All we need to do is fix gerrymandering and then the majority will change unrewarding retirement.
10
I feel like we Boomers need to apologize before we can move on and take on what is ahead. Donald Trump is one of us. Let's start there. I am truly sorry that he is one of us. The world deserves better. We know he is wrecking everything he sees and touches, and we have seen what it takes to change the course of our nation. I apologize that we have not taken to the streets, used our financial power and shut Trump down. I'm sorry that we are waiting for our Grandkids to do that for us. We know better than to defer action, ignore viable principles or betray our society due to fear, doubt and anxiety. Yet, many of us voted for Trump and vent rage at those who did not. I apologize for those of us who did. We need to be honest - our lasting legacy may only be the music of our youth. I hope not. I have hope we are more relevant and awe inspiring to future generations than the statement: "I saw Hendrix live."
29
I'll never apologize for him!
I didn't vote for him!
Those to blame for this abomination are those who voted for him and those who thought they had the luxury of a protest vote against Hillary.
27
At least Trump is still working.
2
Yeah, he’s working to make sure that the poor and middle class pay all the taxes!
3
Last I recall Baby Boomers are those born in 1946-64. What about Barack Obama “61”? Boomers are all about themselves and most came of age in the 60’s. To them nothing else exists. Also they took good care of themselves while they were changing the world. The great majority have now joined the other side. When you look in the mirror do you ever ask yourselves what you still stand for?
12
To assure you, I want to say that lots of us boomers struggled, and climbed up the hard way. It was an incredible gift I received in simply being able to attend community college after working a year after high school. That my parents no longer needed 30% of my pay made me feel excited about my future for the very first time in my life. That affirmative action opened doors for me and all women changed my life as well! That birth control became available was another gift we got from science.
I remember daily what life was like without money, yet I was cautious never to worship it like many people do. I've always volunteered in my community and even now I march & work with my family to fight for the rights of all Americans, such as Healthcare, unprovoked wars, gun control etc.
It was shocking to see the Supreme Court approve Citizens United, which has allowed for anarchy in the voting booth and made bribes to our politicians legal. This is what the next generation must change now, or our society will completely implode.
But being older has its physical problems and at our age we are limited. Believe me, I wish I could help more, but my body says no. So, it truly is up to your generation to pitch in every day and make change happen. We retirees will still do what we can, but it is now your turn.
28
Nick, if you came of age in the mid 70s, as Obama did, you missed the party. There's a name for the generation sandwiched between Boom and X: Jones. We Jones for all the glittering promises of the Space Age and Age of Aquarius that seemed to vanish like a (pot) pipe dream by 1973...
10
Jane, I hear this a lot from hurt-sounding Boomers who did indeed have a struggle coming up. Your struggles, though, were in the context of a country that wasn't busy cannibalizing the futures of the young to feed the old. Your environment was kinder. You had more. You had healthcare. You didn't mortgage twenty, thirty, forty years of your future in order to go to a public college. There were salaries and functioning unions.
I tried explaining 1970s "malaise" to a bunch of college students a few years ago. It sounded like paradise to them. They were right.
Citizens' United is only part of nearly 40 years' worth of radical selfishness embraced and institutionalized by the majority of your generation.
We are well aware that it's up to us and our children, because it always has been. It's a relief -- one that almost comes too late -- that we'll finally have a turn at the wheel. But it's still a bad show, because the two generations after you never got the middle/senior spots they should've had by now, taking on responsibility, getting good at having the controls. That'll matter. A lot. Too many Boomers refused to pull people up through ranks throughout their middle age, and then to go when it was time -- instead you used us as cheap labor, making McJobs with no future, hiring us for scutwork without decisionmaking power, killing retirement-age rules and keeping the corner office. Our inexperience now will be felt for generations.
1
If you haven't already, I suggest starting a practice of lovingkindness and compassion for yourself, your loved ones and everybody else in this world and beyond.
Life is precious, make the most of it.
38
First consider pragmatics.
Consider the Beatles lyric, "It's getting better all the time." Read Steven Pinker's 'Enlightenment Now' for a positive take not just on the boomer generation but on the now generation. And/or, and forgive me for being nation- rightious, but in my constant reading of the NYtimes, I feel like I am getting a negative slant of living. I am sure readers too often have heard of the 'socialist' Canadian safety net. I am a 64 year old retired teacher with a reasonable pension. The majority of Canadians who work (unemployment is low, as it is in the US) have a pension, at 60 get a Canada Pension plan, at 65, everyone gets an Old Age pension plan, and with any luck and diligence has savings via a Registered Retirement Savings plan. With unemployment insurance, maternity/paternity leave, of course no worries about medical bills, reasonable higher education costs, every generation has a good shot at good life anx retirement, as long as you don't expect to live in a 5000 sq. ft. house.
With regards to the jist of this philosophical and enjoyable article, I say, to each their own. I am thrilled to enjoy sleeping in, reading, exersizing for its own sake and watching the clouds roll by while listening to a podcast. Some want to contribute to humanity, change the world, or even continue to fatten their lifestyle by working or even just love their occupation ( Mc Cartney tours at 75!).
11
I notice that you are in Canada. The anxiety of the To-Do List, by culture, is uniquely American.
12
Both North and South American?
1
Whether one can afford it (ie. you can afford to choose between working or not working), the real tasks at hand is really to stay active, both mentally and physically. It matters not if you decide to give up your job and spend 8 months of a year on a cruise ship while tending to your garden, or loitering on beach, or slouching in your front porch watching sunrise to sunset. Or that you choose to keep working, tolling a job that you presumably love/enjoy. One has to stay active.
Some years ago, in one of the trips to Florida where my husband attended a trade show and I chose to stay in the hotel watching our young kids playing in the pool. The scene was lovely, peaceful, sun beaming down its warmth, the sky and sea blended into one color stretching out for as far as the eyes could see. Yet, suddenly I felt so incredibly bored. There was still some years before I would even need to consider retirement, but right at that point, I realize I would not want a true "retirement" in my life; well, not in the conventional sense anyways.
12
Life in thirds. Like a hockey game. 30 years for each period. After that, it's overtime, followed by sudden death. Just keep skating, wherever the frozen river leads.
43
Walt Whitman would be horrified at the life Boomers have forced younger generations into as a means to shore up their leisure. Thanks for the national debt, for hording all the good jobs, for the destruction of the social safety net, and the degradation of the US on the international scene. Gen X and younger see y'all for what you are. We've been watching for years, waiting for our turn to breath. PLEASE go and gaze at your collective navels and get out of the way.
30
I agree.
2
Beanie: At least most Boomers learned how to spell. From the sullen resentment I see in some of these posts, Boomers are not supposed to work because they take a job that could be going to somebody younger. Yet, they are not supposed "smell the roses" either because that's not "fair" to the younger generation.
What emerges from these rants is that it's easier to blame a large, diverse segment of the population for one's personal dissatisfaction and failures than to face the truth.
52
Don't lump all Boomers together. Today's problems are the result of an irrational, mean spirited minority of all ages who, with the very wealthy Elite, have been age to game the system.
18
A former neighbor, about 25 years older than I, had the best perspective. When asked how he was doing, he’d smile and answer, “Still perpendicular.”
11
fantastic!
2
The word loafe is not a substitute for “presence”.
3
Everything about our very existence - Boomer, X'er, et alii - is Miraculous! Touch your nose? Miracle! Belch? Miracle!
We don't know where we came from, where we are or where we're going - yet we are! We've been given (Given!!) the ultimate gift of Existence, of Consciousness! It's now - We're here.
Breathe, smile, stand up straight or, at the least, try to sit up straight. Observe the Miracle! OM
14
Cool. My window in the woods awaits me.
5
I’m in my sixties and running a business. I have plenty of items left on my “to-do” list. I am not about to be bullied into old age. Philosophy is fine, as is navel-gazing, as is soul-searching and “loafing.” None require retirement.
I’ll loaf on weekends. Oh - although not in this op-ed - I resent the media depictions of older Americans as not tech savvy. I run my business mostly on-line and, apparently, understand administrative accounts and back-up files better than James Comey and the FBI. (I.e., the Weiner account with Abedin emails was a master admin account that included Huma’s already-produced emails. Anyone with an email account should have known that.)
So really, stop celebrating age discrimination. Older Americans are not “loafing”; they are involunarily unemployed.
17
And some of us retired because we wanted to open up jobs for the younger generation. I worked a full-time "day" job longer than I "had" to, according to the "charts." I still work, although not in a traditional job.
8
Sorry, but my altruism begins at home. The younger generation will be wanting us to die in a decade or two. Are you going to commit suicide, too?
9
"Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be."
--Browning
9
New To Do List
Die well.
9
If you're 72, the idea that you're beginning the last third of your life is pretty brazen.
17
Baby Boomer presidents, Bill Clinton, George W Bush, and Donald Trump . Baby Boomers most selfish generation ever. Baby Boomers worst generation ever. I am five years older than the first baby boomers and had to watch the whole sad show.
11
Almost two decades separates the youngest boomers from the oldest (18 years to be precise). What does a 54 year old today have in common with a 72 year old Trump or a 70 year old Hillary Clinton? Nothing.
So please give the tired boomer label a rest.
32
So! THAT's what I've been doing. HA!
4
Boomer eh? No, not self-indulgent, self-obsessed at all.
11
I know the NYT demographic consists of a largely white, upper-income demographic. But this article is a slap in the face to lower-middle income and lower-income boomers who worked hard just to make ends meet for most of their lives. Thanks to the gutting of social security and pension plans, this population doesn't have the wherewithal or money to stop and smell the roses. Many are still trying to make ends meet through minimum-wage, part-time jobs. This article strikes me as overly smug, self-serving and out of touch.
60
Your comment is so sad, and so true. Generosity should be a priority for affluent boomers’ lives. They need to be leaders in the struggle for equality, which tragically most are not. But there’s still value in this piece. Affluent people are people too, and while their struggles may seem minor to others, they’re real. Poor and middle class people can be smug and condescending too.
10
"This article strikes me as overly smug, self-serving and out of touch." Particularly out of touch since retirement for many older adults requires working to avoid homelessness and to meet basic needs.
18
How quintessentially boomer, quintessentially selfish. How about spending your waning years righting our political landscape? Voting for sustainable policies to benefit future generations? No? I guess you’ll just loaf around and contemplate tax breaks while the world burns around you. Good riddance.
21
Why do you assume we don't? It's the Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio generation that is guilty of your accusations, not Boomers.
18
Why do we define people by generations anyway? I say that as someone born in 1945. I certainly identify with Boomers - and not at all with “the greatest generation” (that moniker really bothers me).
Setting that aside, I find myself in agreement with the writer, though I never had a “to-do” list unless you count some educational and professional goals.
I eased myself into retirement, starting about age 60. But I’ve always been of a reflective bent. And sitting or standing in front of a peaceful view (garden, park, any kind of interesting weather, trees, birds) with a cup of tea has long been my definition of happiness - of which I’ve had plenty.
But I have to admit that in the midst of retirement - being able to do or not do, according to mood or whim - I also recognize how fortunate I am, in comparison to so many in this world. And that makes for a more complex set of emotions: joy admidst concern for those who are lacking so much whether at home or abroad; concern for the plight of this nation; awareness of the shortness of life, together with how precious it is to be alive. Things like that make for a bitter-sweet aging - in a world which is too focused on greed and power, too little concerned for the least among us.
41
Thank you, TheraP, for your eloquent thoughts and perspective.
7
What a shallow attempt at introspection. First of all the cartoon is insulting, sexist, ageist in the extreme and I hope AARP points this out in their next publication. Second of all, as a person in my 70's, I love my to-do-lists. The difference is that, now, I can put on them what I like. I choose to accomplish the many things I am involved in, and the list ensures that I have plenty of time to relax and do things for no apparent reason i.e. 'random acts of kindness' and 'paying it forward'. By the way, I have always stopped to "smell the roses" and didn't need to be inexorably bent over to notice them. Shame on you
6
A good day wasted is still a good day. But, a good day worked is just work.
11
Not if it is meaningful work.
5
Thoreau has something to say on this topic as well.
2
I think it was Robert Redford who said, "It's the climb up the mountain that's interesting......not standing at the top."
3
Yes, but when you've reached the top of the mountain, it means that you've indeed climbed it.
Thus, philosophically speaking, once you've done the hard work, you deserve to contemplate your life and happiness once you've reached the top. For those still climbing, your day will come (and believe me, your perspective will be different).
10
The author misunderstands the intention of the word "pursuit." That citizens would have the privilege to pursue happiness meant that they were free people.
(The document is a piece of hypocrisy on many levels, but the word pursuit isn't meant to be a call to action by any stretch.)
5
Retirement from a very fulfilling career is 76 days away. All my colleagues can’t believe I’m doing this. What will that first Monday be like? How about sipping wine overlooking the Mediterranean in northern Israel. A full six week, no tour group vacation! But when I get back, the top of my priorities is to be a better friend. As I get older, I know so many in pain—widowhood, illness, loss. As. I stoop to smell the flowers I hope to be able to share little joys with others.
22
I had a poster in college that said "Happiness is found along the way, not at the end of the road." Words I have always lived by. My road has been delightful, every step.
14
Give yourself tax cuts funded by deficits which will be paid by your grandchildren? Check. Demand your own social security money while defunding the system for future generations? Check. Attend college for (nearly) free but force your children to rely on student loans? Check. Burn fossil fuels as if there's no tomorrow? Check.
I'm glad the baby boomers are able to finally relax after checking off so many things on their bucket lists -- the rest of us are too busy fixing the mess they made for their children and grandchildren.
26
Nice try, it's your generation lead by Paul Ryan and Mario Rubio that want to destroy S.S. & Medicare. It was "Ayn Rand" Ryan that pushed those massive tax cuts for the rich.
24
Loafing and looking good sure beats: " second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, Sans eyes, sans everything."
As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII
2
For the Love of God, people, please don't lump the second half of the baby boom in with the first. "Gen Jones" resembles Gen X more than it does the baby boom.
8
Thank you. I was born in 1958. Most of my friends and acquaintances born at about the same time have had experiences similar to mine: lousy job opportunities, at least one period of long term unemployment, some have had to file for bankruptcy due to medical bills, and worst of all we've all had to watch as the first baby boomers got everything while we got almost nothing because, by the time we were eligible society had decided it didn't want to offer us the same opportunities. We came of age when defined pension plans disappeared, when college started to become quite expensive, when wage growth didn't keep up with the actual cost of living, and when companies decided that investing in employees, being loyal to employees, and hiring was too much to expect from them.
We've gotten the short end of the stick at every turn. I'm not complaining. It's an observation. We will not be able to retire. In fact almost anyone born after 1954, unless they are rich, will find it very hard to retire, to save, to go to college, to pursue a career in public service, or to do more than try to pay off their debts.
We no longer live in a society where work means something, where people are valued on the job or for what they bring to a job or to their community. Our sole worth in America is how much we spend and how much advertisers can induce us to spend.
31
Tell that to the seniors working at Walmart not for their health.
21
Baby Boomers cannot afford to retire.
11
“Il dolce far niente.”
Such a beautiful way to say, the sweetness of doing nothing.
6
They were & remain the Me Generation: Self-absorbed, hooked on conspicuous consumption, hysterical midlife crises, neurotic ambitiousness, youth-obsessed terror of aging, celebrity-worship, jaded post-modernism, new-age pretensions, the world needs a rest from it all.
That generation remains amazingly entitled to talk & write endlessly about themselves as if they were the most important demographic ever & forever.
Those boomers who obsessed at ambitious pursuit of personal affluence uber-alles, destroyed the ideals of humility, virtuousness, honesty, wisdom, romanticism & integrity, & gave us ridiculously yuppified, gentrified, expensive everything.
Their ethic was terrible for American society.
Yes, please take your foot off the gas-guzzling, upwardly-mobile mania & help heal the damage done during your orgy of ambitious excess.
17
I don't have to. You can't make me. I'm retired....
The best feeling is having nothing on the schedule and having the time to enjoy the time
5
Yo Boomers, while you are out not getting things done, please bring a kid along. It can be a grandkid or not. Plenty of kids need adult attention. As you fritter away the day, show them how much you enjoy just being with them.
5
1953. Worked 43 years. Always stressed. All the while I always knew my nature was to be a sheep herder. It may be too late for me. I’ve been institutionalized. Maybe a good old fashioned LSD trip can free my mind.
10
Interesting so many commentators who are enjoying doing nothing (and spelling out in detail what nothing looks like), still hasten to add that they have “earned” it. Our Puritan heritage dies hard.
5
I know this is a feel-good piece, though it does name-check bombs and fossil fuels.
So while I congratulate the author who worked so hard to "make it," consider what the Boomers are leaving for those younger: and I don't mean trust funds for your precious helicopter-watched Millennial babies.
You are leaving the planet worse off than when you arrived. Your folks fought WW II and took us to the Moon: you briefly marched against Vietnam and took us to the brink of an abyss.
We've a broken political system (led by what I hope to see as our LAST Boomer President), a critically damaged planetary ecosystem, and a divided nation that looks, some days, ready for Civil War 2.0.
How about putting one more thing on that to-do list: make the nation--and planet--a better place for other people's children?
15
Chill out, dude! You don't need yoga or meditation to relax, you just need to relax. You may have achieved a few things by setting goals and driving yourself to complete them but you probably missed some great moments along the way what with your head down, brow furrowed, power suit plowing through perceived obstacles. Life is not measured by the momentary bright spots you think you created, it's the travels you take and the accidental wonders you take part in along the way. Surf' up, man!
2
Oh goodness; I’m 12 years younger than you. I’m ready to be a retiree NOW.
3
A progression:
A Child looks at a flower and she says "Pretty."
A Scientists looks at at a flower and she thinks about Photosynthesis, Kreps Cycle, ATP Transport. . . . . she no longer even sees the flower.
A Master looks at a flower and she says "Pretty," but the Master knows why.
4
The days of our years are three score and ten
Or, even by reason of strength, four score years
So give us a heart of wisdom,
So we may serve You in truth
4
Thank you, John Lee Kapner. I would be grateful if you could tell us the source of this poetic wisdom.
1
Boomer leisure -- that is, white middle-and-higher class Boomer leisure -- comes at the price of everyone else's precarity. Enjoy your golden years, Boomers, as we cannot stop you from depleting the rest of your ill-gotten gains. You are still too numerous and have too much power, at least for now. You have won.
Long after these locusts have left the Earth, my golden years will likely be spent trying to figure out how to keep access to potable water and functional nutrition in a world increasingly inhospitable to human life. I imagine the idea of "leisure" will seem as absurdly luxurious to me as it would have been for the Boomer's grandparents.
The worst part of all is that I will have to sit and read paeans to Boomers as they finally, mercifully, begin to die. I will have to sit through these pleasantly arranged but maudlin elegies to these villains, as they still hold the levers of power and so can compel monuments to their vanity from writers looking to pay the rent that month.
One day, we will be free of Boomers. In time, we will rise up and finally peel some gold from their skeletal fingers. Until then, more pieces like this will appear in the magazine, serving as post hoc justifications for lives of rapacious consumption. These deathbed confessionals may make them feel better but ultimately does nothing to help, which fits the line of the rest of their lives.
10
Wow. It doesn't seem all that long ago that our "boomer" generation railed against the previous one as it sent our boys off to be killed by the tens of thousands in a useless war, while we battled stateside for civil rights and pollution control - along with that lost concept of "zero population growth" - denouncing all things American and openly eschewing middle class values. Somehow in the ensuing years life starts aiming very well placed kicks at each of us, and the lofty ideals of youth get lost somewhere in the day to day minutia that ends up comprising - and comprimising - one's life. I am sorry for the ills foisted upon your generation and even more sorry for the worsening destruction of this beautiful planet that we have been gifted; I too am horrified by how twisted our original dream has become, and I applaud you for wanting to make the world a better place than the one you entered. i would love to check back in 40 years to see how that is all working out.
15
"Maybe this is what my father’s third stage of life is about — wondering, rather than pursuing. You look good — meaning, hey, you’re still alive, you’re still here, and for once you don’t really need to have a to-do list."
The most important items on boomer's to-do-list.....we did not do. Yes, we protested about equal rights and environmental degradation, but we did little other than secure jobs and live middle class lives. Many of us are the very people on Wall Street, and running the Military-Financial-Pharma-Agra-Chemical-Complex that have taken over our country. Our grandparents and our parents did not solve these issues, nor did baby boomers. Next up, Millennials!
3
Not so fast with the smelling of the flowers or the wasting of one’s day! Life, liberty, and happiness? With liberty in jeopardy and happiness inextricably tied to it neither is “a given” thanks to this disastrous President and his mobbed-up posse in the WH.
I find myself closing in on 70 thinking more rather than less about ambitious undertakings. Yoga? No thanks, too much work, not to mention the pain of adjustment. Give me the cozy and gratifyingly familiar adrenal-driven thoughts and actions, such as:
1. Should I go for that 1 bedroom condo in CT so I can “get up, put on the uniform, strap on the bayonet and hit the parade “(credit to the Freddie Rumson character in Mad Men) after a good night’s sleep, rather than braving the predictable and stressful traffic jams through Springfield and Hartford to teach a class on campus, rather than restricting myself solely to remote teaching at my beloved alma mater?
2. For this boomer, the pursuit has reached epic proportions if for no other reason than it provides me with the illusion of liberty.
3. Did Walt Whitman really “loaf?” If so, how did we learn about it? Of course, he wrote and wrote and wrote. That sounds more like work than plowing through metropolitan grid-lock!
Thanks, but no thanks; I don’t have time to waste my day wasting my day. There’s a reason I live in rural NH. It provides a daily reminder of how easy it would be to slip into the abyss of stasis. And, yes, I have heard that I “look good.” Nice.
2
Yesterday I expressed a wish over on Facebook for a day without a to-do list. But I can't afford to retire, and yesterday my to-do list included a protest at NRA HQ about gun violence.
I might get a day off; but the rest of my life? Nope.
4
I was a war baby, part of the generation born just before the boomers. One of my first memories is of my mother and the other women on our block standing out in the street banging pots and pans. "It's V-J Day!"
Now I'm old and full of gratitude for being born in this great country, for my parents, for my education, for seeing so many changes. There were still Civil War vets alive when I was grown. The men of my generation were asked to throw away their lives in Vietnam.
I have no to-do list. What I do now is what I've always done -- read books. I have no advice for my son's generation. I am filled with admiration for their openness to one another. Anyone still clinging to superstition and fear can join them.
7
as a boomer I'm surprised that, in addition to Whitman, you did not quote John Lennon's "Watching the Wheels"...
2
In other words, a wasted day is not wasted if properly contemplated.
1
I always laugh when someone tries to write about my generation, even from within it. But let me try, lol. For instance if you were born in 1946 and haven't lost fellow boomers to death you're living a charmed life; or you have a very small circle of friends and family in that cohort.
A good wake up call is (or was) your 50th high school reunion. Mine is this fall. Out of a class of 700 a list was quickly compiled on our FB page of how many would not becoming because, well because they were dead. The list stopped at 48 and we stopped after two days discussion.
This upcoming reunion gives a sense of the curve of life accelerating and I can see many old friends using FB to reconnect on our reunion page. For instance, my kindergarten friend Roy turned out to have gotten his PHD in BioChemistry. He retired two years ago and is now a brewmaster for a growing micro brewery. He will be visiting Portland for a beer brewing trade show and we will get together for dinner. I look forward to hearing about his new career; That's more like!
Many of the boomers I know are still very politically active, working in their communities, connecting with younger generations (unlike the Greatest Generation).
Having three older sisters born into the Boomer generation, I tend to question that first batch 46.47 and 48. I found that they had more of the 50's in them, than 60's, more Dick Clark than Bob Dylan. So that is the take that I think we have here with that to-do-list thinking...
6
Loafing is for people who are able to afford such a luxury. It makes me wonder if the author, or others who are so excited by the prospect of loafing as a vital next step, have given deep consideration that many people will never have that even as an option, and that this is at least in part to legislation and policies that maintain baby boomers' resources and consumer power at the expense of others. I always admired the baby boomers willingness to stand up for the greater good back in the day - but now I wonder if it really was just standing up for their own interest, and it is simply more evident now. I hope it is more nuanced than that, but that is what I am seeing now.
3
We need the grace, and the dignity to stand down. I get so annoyed when I see the Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump etc.out there pontificating about a future they will create but not be around to face the responsibility for. We had our shot and we blew lots, but also created lots of things too. History will judge us later for our success or failure.
I am of the opinion, discriminatory or not, we should not be allowed to run for office after we reach age 65. Let the newbies step up and create new solutions for new problems. THEIR cross to bear, not ours.
Weather permitting, I sit on my deck with either am. coffee or pm. wine and watch the herons return to their nests to feed their squalling babies. I garden with vigor and sit contented in the silence of my slice of peace and nature. I am done proving how bad or good I am. I literally will leave the judgement of who we all were to those who follow...And I wish them all well. Right now I am a far better human being than the younger me. And part of that is truly not caring what anyone else's judgements of me are. That, is the real joy of aging.....The self contentment of getting to sit on that deck and just smile while nature parades by. This old lady earned the quiet joy of that.Hope you do too.
27
I'm right where you are and you describe it exquisitely.
4
Nearly 1/2 of the world's population — more than 3 billion people — live on less than $2.50 a day. More than 1.3 billion live in extreme poverty — less than $1.25 a day.
Their "to do list" is to find the means to barely survive beyond your baby boomer ages. Be grateful that you have the opportunities to pursue happiness and find the time to loaf by being born in the United States of America. Perhaps a thought or prayer for them can be incorporated into your daily downtime and give you pause to appreciate what you are blessed to have.
7
I suddenly realized I had entered the third stage of life while shopping at Target, where I caught myself asking, “is this my last toaster”?
16
Ha ha. But you are REALLY old when you toast a piece of bread, then look at it and think "Is this my last piece of toast?"
9
"Wu Wei" (Do nothing) is ancient Tao, probably not unprecedented even then. Visually beautiful in calligraphy too.
"Il dolce far niente" ~ the sweetness of doing nothing is the Italian version.
Lovely thoughts, thanks. Now we know it's OK.
I've been a daydreamer all my life. Many people have scolded me for it. It's just who I am. Can't live without it. Wouldn't have accomplished much without it.
5
I am not a fan of inter-generational envy, to borrow a term I saw in another comment, or fan of Boomer-bashing. But as someone born in 1966, hence 52 years old myself, I do wish to highlight to everyone reading this the following:
The Great Depression+WWII Generation (hyped as the "Greatest Generation" by our media muckety-mucks) sacrificed a lot and worked very hard so their kids, the Boomers and grandkids, the rest of us, would have a great life. They succeeded beyond anyone's expectations despite their own obvious human imperfections.
The Boomers are not bad people, but sacrifice has not been their thing, refer Clinton, Bush & Trump. All of that is fine, but here is the sordid Truth, the Boomers have not only not been willing to sacrifice (generally speaking) but they have borrowed and spent in their children and grandchildren's names. They have had help from non-Boomers like Paul Ryan, etc... but the objective reality is that they have spent at least $20T in their kids' names, plus the student loans the kids have, the unending healthcare cost inflation, unending wars, divisive political discourse, gun-nuttery, etc...
The list is tiring even to me, so I will end with this non-bashing request - these are objective facts, but they are not final. It is still not too late for Boomers and others reading this to ask themselves if this is right and if it isn't time now to reverse this trend and how.
Loaf all you want, just make sure you are footing the bill for it. Love.
16
Sounds like Boomer Bashing to me.
13
Bravo! I like the phrase "blessed loss of ambition." I've just read Lao Tzu' Tao Te Ching in its original Chinese written some 2,500 years ago in which he says: "Do nothing and nothing remains undone." Thank you, Patricia.
4
since her words perfectly match my own age-generated revelations, i was enthralled by the author's sagacity - until reading the sentence about a wall on our southern border... Ms. Hampl needs to re-read her essay and follow more closely the advice of its author
Pushed out at 62 on MLKing day after 40 yrs in IT, I feel the same way. I am jealous as technology improvements and outsourcing insured that I would never make 90k while I know phys ed teachers, paralegals, and park rangers making 90k with a pension waiting for them. However I will be OK as I downsized house, worked 2nd job(as adjunct college prof), drive 15 yr old cars and put 2 kids though school and college(Catholic every step) with little added spousal income. I have 2800/mo in SS and small pensions, no mortgage and ok 401k and kids though college with 20k parent debt. Now what to do, no more physics, history homework help, no more tennis lessons, no more work. I joined a 50+ basketball(3 days/week), tennis, read like a demon, walk with wife, and am looking at volunteer stuff and probably Home Depot job in fall(15 h/week). I look around my town and at 40-50 yr olds and realize it is their turn now to run things and it makes me sad. I laugh when people say I should retrain(w 2 advanced degrees hard to believe a basic Cisco cert would make anyone hire me). I walk to church often(1 mi each way) and think of those who came before me. I look at my daughters with health care careers and fiance 700 mi away(Ohio) and wonder what their future holds. I look at my wife of 31 years and wonder if I have been a good example. I went to a wedding of wife's cousin's kid and realize I am invisible to the wedding party. I wonder what will "get me" as I am healthy but have a fib
5
@alan: I understand how you feel. Hoping you can turn this unhappy event into an opportunity for a completely different path for the second phase of your adulthood.
"La simplicité est une voie qui mène au bonheur. " (Simplicity is a path that leads to happiness). This is a quote that greets me in my kitchen each morning and helps me to remember to focus on what's important each day.
Wishing you luck, good health, happiness and new beginnings. These changes in your life also bring freedom and time and those are no small things. All the best.
~Mélinda
6
thanks, I am actually doing great but very confused and looking for a purpose..Garden variety volunteering does not seem to be a good fit, there has to be something. I have dreamed of playing basketball for years, and to play with 80 year olds who are nicest guys in world is awe inspiring(they just hang out at 3 pt line and pass it back). I don't buy into the CNBC ads of Bermuda vacation or African safaris but just hit local Irish club with friend to listen to great music
2
I wish the baby boomers would stop their pursuit of happiness. That generation's pursuit of self-interests (and resulting impact on society and politics) has possibly irreparably changed the world. It's time for them to turn off, tune out and drop away from influence. Please let go and let us try to fix the damage without anymore interference from your generation.
9
The purpose of life is to decide what the purpose of life is, and then to pursue it.
3
“Looking good”
There is more subtle advice in this phrase then the author realizes
Older people don’t look good.....so grooming, clothes, and posture are key
Sales clerks, medical people, bus drivers and government employees are more attentive to people who look good
Smiling, Jon Brightman (80)
5
https://nyti.ms/2IVNY5E
The article above is also in today’s NYT. In it, you’ll learn that finally taking your pension can add a huge weight to your life and those around you. For some, it seems like the pension is paid for now at others expense, not when it was collected at your own and your company expense. It’s not as simple as drawing from a savings account.
I’m still upset over a court decision in 2004, and any subsequent, that made us taxpayers pay for a failed United Airlines Pilot pension fund through the Pension Benefit Guarantee Corp. Today, United Airlines operates with $8 billion in cash while you and I continue to pay those pilots.
Yeah right, contemplate a blade of grass.
2
Whitman - Montaigne - Pascal
2
The name is disgusting. I was part of the Love Generation.
And we certainly did not have a list. We thought maybe life could be lived in the present as much as possible. 'Be here now'.
11
What a great book! I still have my copy.
I was one of those striving people: good college, top 10 law school, job and career, global travel, blah blah blah... But in the last 10 years (I'm 53 now), I've come to realize that it's probably all meaningless. I'm not going to cure cancer, end international famine or create world peace. That realization has made me oddly happy. My complete unimportance and irrelevance has given me freedom to just do whatever I want. The author's father is right. I'm in the "you look good phase," and I like it. I wish I had gotten here earlier. But I think you have to travel through the other phases first. You can't just arrive here, you have to sort of earn it. Does that make sense?
5
1952 vintage, that’s me. I thought I’d never be financially able to retire (and can’t bear being someone’s burden), a worry that made me research suicide methods that would prevent my family from knowing my death wasn’t just an “accident.” But life pulled the ol’ switch-aroo and I find myself comfortably, wonderfully, peacefully retired. I arise when I like, read for hours, eat what is good for me and try to live a kind and gentle life. I know, every dang day, how extraordinarily lucky I am. I never take it for granted. Never.
12
Nihilism, by any other name is surrender to giving up the life we have, giving up pursuing happiness, loafing until death do us part. I don't agree. There is work to be done. There is immortality, or at least very long life to pursue. There are 40 institutes of aging and/or longevity on earth and they're doing serious , and good, work toward that end. And there is freedom, justice, and equality to pursue, in contradiction to those who would steal our labor, money, and freedom for their personal aggrandizement, their retirement, and their lack of faith or hope in forming a more perfect union, or more perfect societies. There's man's work to do and not sit around and whine that my time has come or is coming. Work to overcome the fear of the second law by remembering that you can put more energy into a system and keep it going, make it more perfect, more efficient. There's science to do, life to live, children and grand children to educate. There are problems that many of us are trained to see, if not to overcome. Take your nihilism and loaf with you soul. I seek work and adventure and longer days. Man and society may not be perfectable but they are capable of more and more perfection toward some arbitrary asymptote of perfection. Do not go gently into that good night.
1
Mid-50s Boomer here; deeply grateful I’m retired, still healthy and happy to be able to get stoned legally and hang out with hubby and our friends. I aim to age as gracefully as I’m able: to preserve and enjoy what I have while I have it and can still enjoy it, to keep spine and joints flexible even when I hurt, to be kind and open minded even when I could spit venom, to forgive the world for disappointing me because I really believed our nation would be in a better place by now and worked hard to make it so, to enjoy the smoldering embers remaining of my sexuality, to share my good fortune with my peers who aren’t as fortunate, and to help young people take over and make the world a better place.
9
Bravo Frank!
2
If 'being' and 'doing' are the crux of the matter here - which stance is most appropriate for one's later years - let's get takes from the experts! This was written on a bathroom wall in the 1970's writer's bar in Greenwich Village, The Lion's Head:
Plato: To Be is to Do.
Aristotle: To Do is to Be.
Frank Sinatra: Do Be Do Be Do Be.
There, that settles it, I think!
7
I suspect underlying the success of most boomer loafing is a pension system that is funded by the freneticism of everyone else.
Ah, the pursuit of happiness has been so commercialized that we have all become “productivity units” rather than humans. The writer”s call for loafing reminds me to resist being a productivity unit!
1
This is a terrific article but I think it really depends on if you are single or have a steady partner. As a single woman I find still being active gives me pleasure and provides opportunities to meet new people.
5
Happiness comes across in the comments, but too many of us are less content, and that troubles me to see. Those with a good education and work background so there's an income in their retirement, fighting the big banks and recovering from other predators' who think it their right to prey on the elderly.
1
I dont know if I'll ever be content. I know, though, that I will always live my life doing exactly what I was meant to be doing.
1
What you so eloquently describe is universal, not exclusively American. The ancients divided lifespan into stages: student, householder, hermit or forest dweller, renunciant. By the time You start to smell the roses, you are past the householder stage with all your responsibilities taken care of, so you can move into a secluded senior community. In the renunciation stage your inward journey becomes most relevant as you let go of the external world it’s obligations expectations and commitments and become free, unaffected, secure within.
7
If I were old and as aware of how privileged my life has been as you are, I like to think I would make Doing Good my last pursuit. So many older folks seem to just want to consume their resources with travel and theater and nonstop play, leaving what is left to grown up kids who are already privileged. Your generation may have won the big war but it also caused many of the problems we face as a nation, from income inequality to failing public schools to environmental disasters. Please, older folks, give your estates to worthy nonprofits and public colleges. Give your bodies to science. Give your piles of personal possessions to the people whose lives will be changed, not to kids who don’t need them.
9
Yes, indeed. Very well said.
1
I agree, and am going to do so.
@LeAnnBischoff : forgot to tag you on my reply to your comment. Please read.
1
Born in 1943, I was lucky enough to escape being a boomer, the "ME Generation" guilt of turning America into the "culture of narcissism" now so grotesquely personified by the reductio ad absurdum of the boomer focus on the all-important "SELF," Donald J. Trump, the Boomer Egomaniac-in-Chief. As everyone knows, the chief backers of Trump have always been his fellow boomers, the last destructive gestures of The Least Great Generation of "idealists," their final generational act of "looking out for No. 1."
I'm the author's peer, still have a to-do list, and wouldn't want it any other way. I have no desire to disengage from life.
The author's 'life is divided into thirds' philosophy is based on stereotypes that seem silly in view of our increased longevity. Who wants to spend 30 years loafing?
4
Yes, agreed. I would well imagine that loafing would become tedious rather quickly for anyone who finds engagement and curiosity to be an important part of their existence.
1
Well, the ability to loaf is learned as well as discipline (following, not bending ourselves to our will). And meditation doesn't have to be something else to "do", although it takes years, a lifetime, really, to not "do" meditation.
Anyway, if coming from the right (buddhist right, not puritan right) place, yes, loafing is life affirming. If not, then we justify spending hours watching mindless tv.
5
A lovely perspective. However, I fear that too many boomers have substituted their to-do lists for days watching Fox News or listening to AM talk radio, the 24/7 5-minute hate. They are aggrieved, fearful, and irrational, and they're destroying our country and our world. I wish they'd go back to work instead.
2
Yes and boomers say the same of Gen x’s and y’s. Only sub the complaint with technology, spoiled and lazy. The fact each generation shares a social/cultural/political history but how they choose to respond or react to it is varied. The majority of my baby boomer peers do not listen to Fox, are not fearful, did not vote Trump and are working to make the world a better place. Just as there are such Gen X’s and Y’s. Perhaps we should all spend more time in intergenerational activities so we can avoid these somewhat bigoted and uninformed attitudes about each other.
11
Brilliant. However, my dad was a surgeon, and practiced up until a month before he died (at 83). I asked him once "arnt you ever going to retire?"...and he shot back "retire, retire to what?"
2
My list? I must wake up when the alarm rings and go to work. If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and an apple costs $1.98 a pound, apples should be deemed a deductible medical expense. I fear the Great Boom.
4
My profession has been painting and writing both of which allow (require) “wondering and pursuing” at the same time. The writer Annie Dillard, in works like “A Pilgrim at Tinker Creek” demonstrates what it is to move in a rhythm between being an observer and being engaged. I don’t think of that as a prescription for only your senior years.
5
The biggest problem of the 21st Century is too many people doing too many things. The earth can't take it. Therefore, loafing is good, if you can afford it.
If, somehow, we could have a non-growing world population of one billion people, with equitable sharing of resources and wealth, nobody would need to work more than 20 hours a week, and the earth might be able to host us indefinitely.
Unfortunately, there is nothing sustainable about human civilization today. We are on a path of doom, which will come after my own quite splendid life is over.
I have always believed I was born in the best of times. After the idiocy of two World Wars, Western civilization blossomed into affluence, just in time for me to benefit from every new technological advance.
It is sad to realize that future generations will inhabit an overcrowded world stripped of natural resources and ruled by tribalism. All because of too many people being too fertile and too productive.
6
Your comment about having been born at the best of times rings true. I wish I could foresee in detail the events of the next 50-500 years!
This is the give back time. Volunteer, connect, help out. It's true, we got the good stuff. Time to learn what life is like now from our Jr.s and be of service to them.
7
Agree completly...Got my way out my job almost three years after teaching for more than 32 years at primary level.What a good idea to leave while my health is good and my passions came from my early age:music,books and photography!Interest in tasting different teas,listening to my vinyl again,wondering at my life....
Thank god it’s friday is not my thing anymore:monday is a saturday,friday is a tuesday..
Jean-François Laferté
Terrebonne,Québec
10
Actually, I would really like to consume all the foods that are considered bad for one's health....washed down with copious amounts of red wine.
6
Bless the sheer value of looking out the window, wasting time, memorizing a poem, or singing a little song, liberated from action. There is a lot of poetry, and music, and art, and now I have time to savor it slowly as it was meant to be.
Into my heart a wind that kills
from yon far country blows.
What blue remembered hills are those
What spires, what farms are those?
That is the land of lost content
I see it shining plain,
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.
AE Housman, A Shropshire Lad
4
So this is part of the reason why I have decided to plant crown vetch in my yard this spring instead of more grass seed.
1
The baby boomers turned leisure into a sin and turned America into a land where we are expected to live to work instead of work to live. Most of what they take credit for was started by the Silent generation. They abandoned their mantra of the '60s, "make love, not war." We have consistently been at war and the boomers (both Democrats and Republicans) have consistently voted war mongers into office.
I'm sick of hearing about baby boomers and how wonderful they are. They have been in charge for a long time, so why, if they are so wonderful, is our country in such a mess?
3
When I retired 8 years ago people started asking me how is it? May reply, then was, and still is - it's my time to waste as I choose.
5
The pursuit of Happiness is not a retirement option, it is a life option. If you wait for "enough" you may never get there.
Find the universe in a drop of water, find the world in a walk through a park. Can't afford a concert ticket, listen to your favorite singer on Pandora or Spotify. Can't afford a Florida vacation, go to a public pool. Find joy in the air your breathe, and spare a thought or prayer for those whose every breath is a struggle.
If you are younger than boomers, then you were born into a world without polio, measles or mumps. You were born into a world where discrimination was no longer applauded and the legal system of the country. And, until 2001, war was to be the last option and then severely limited.
There is no golden age, in history or life. There is only today. Waste it, you are one day older. Cherish it, you have a golden memory.
10
In my 20's, finding British girls not to my taste (e.g. 'Take a look at my girlfriend' ... Supertramp) I began looking for a wife in America; the girls were so attractive. But I found a Mexican girl instead. Just as well that I did: I tried living in the USA and found it pretty horrible, but more than that, Mexico has an excellent single-payer health system that has now saved my life twice over. I'd have been dead by now if I had been living in the USA. Life as a boomer in Mexico is arguably a lot more fun than in either the USA or UK.
5
Being "a war baby", that is born four years before the first boomer entered the world, reportedly by one historian, in Cherry Hill, N.J. on Jan. 1, 1946, I have watched my near -- but not peers -- and concluded they have been a most self-interested, self-centered and inconsistent generation -- a generation that has had the best of everything, the most of everything and now, in its dotage, has to an alarming degree swung from early youthful radicalism to Trumpism. Go figure.
1
Pursuit of "happiness" was a compromise by Jefferson after his original wording, pursuit of "land" was deemed unacceptable to the 13 states, particularly by the South for obvious reasons.
And now the term is used a mantra and guiding light. It was supposed to be neither.
6
Ms Hampl,
There very much remains a "to do" list for boomers.
We boomers have given our kids and grandkids catastrophic climate change, endless wars, broken healthcare, increasing wealth disparity, unaffordable higher education, crumbling infrastructure, inadequate gun control. We boomers have a lot to answer for and make up for.
I trust the values of your typical 17 year old more than I trust the values of my fellow boomers. We need to listen sincerely to our young people -- and, thank goodness, they seem willing to speak out. We need to help them achieve what they see as important. We owe them that for the mess we've made. That's the remaining item on our to-do list.
11
I come from '49. My friends and I recently celebrated our 50th high school reunion, almost 200 of us! While we had many who didn't attend, and many other fallen comrades, of those that did attend, I must say, our to-do lists keep getting longer and longer! Most everyone there was still working, still making a difference in the world, still happy and able to get out and rock the night away! More folks were writing books, playing music, teaching, exercising, cooking, traveling and loving more and more with ever expanding families! Sooo, don't draw us stooped over or down and out. We ain't there yet!!!
5
This is most meaningful op ed I've read in a long time. By now most of us have had a long life of working, or of raising kids, so we should stop feeling guilty for doing nothing and learn to just be, and enjoy and appreciate life. This is true happiness, and by the way, true wisdom as well.
6
This is a beautiful essay about a lost America, as lost as the slow-paced world of Johnny Appleseed, sauntering across the wooded potential-filled wilderness, seeding future crops and hearing birds sing.
Pursuit of happiness is a lifelong process that relies on our innate instincts to follow rewards, fullness from food, the glow of love, the pride in achievement, self awareness hard won.
The monetization, capitalization, valuation of every aspect of our lives has robbed us of our birthright to have those experiences. Education was once about self development and higher goals, now a terrifying costly investment from kindergarten through higher ed that is fear driven and profit-based. Religion, no longer focused on otherworldly aims, is the enabler of exclusion and control. Home is not the warmth of hearth but either an investment or snarled skein of inter-generational demands. Capitalism and the politics of wealth and scarcity have effectively robbed us all of our birthright to “world enough and time” to follow those inner whispers at any stage. Only way Back to Eden is for each to own and enjoy the stray thought, the deep breath, the surprising encounter, one precious moment, one hour, then one day at a time.
11
My parents were both born in 1946. They are over-educated middle-class white folks. Since my 30's their consistent refrain to me has been, "I'm sorry, we ruined it for you." They are referring to the abject selfishness and wanton waste resulting from a country pursuing its own "happiness". An environment all but destroyed, a social security system that will be bankrupt by the time I retire, and a trickle-down economy we've yet to really recover from. (You can argue that last point but not the other two.)
I have always always been uncomfortable with that detail of the Declaration of Independence. The right to pursue happiness. It seems out of place and strangely at odds with the staunch spirit of the document. Who grants us this right? How is it governed? In the end it seems the right of those privileged enough to pursue it. We have to claim it. The same people people who broke the country. White, middle to upper class white people. Like my parents. We would do well to remember it.
7
Jen,
Maybe the issue is how one describes " pursuit of happiness". To our Founding Fathers, it meant a right to self determination.
I am not sure how someone can be "over educated".
Yes, we have problems: National indebtedness, huge inequities, absurd incarceration rates, polarized politics.
But if you travel to the Third World, you realize we still have vastly more ability to fix many of our problems.
The pessimism of calling us "ruined" is not helpful.
6
Born in 1956, I am also a boomer.
But Social Security is broke now, and the most profligate polluter in the history of the EPA is in office now, Bill Clinton balanced the budget then, and where is it now.
Now is where you live. What are you doing about it? Your generation X is the first of all following generations to have so much more as children than preceding society.
And it is really sad you blame your parents for a world your generation has helped forge. That in your definitions of "us/them" your parents are "them".
4
Don't "blame" my parents at all. They are claiming that responsibility themselves. As do I for my generation.
Being somewhat of an introvert some of my most enjoyable times in retirement are when I "get lost in my thoughts." And while while idle; but when out for run with my companion dog, cycling on the nearby country or simply while weeding the garden bed. Could be just a fleeting moment or last several minutes. I aways feel refreshed, grateful and at peace with myself. And it so happens not to be on my to do list.
5
So many are advising us to live in the moment at a time when the world seems to be clamoring for attention in every moment we have left. Now we are encouraged to loaf. Hooray! I'll still make my "to do" list but with Ms Hampl's reminder that it's optional, I'll shorten it. Thank you!
1
I was born to be retired! I got laid off at 62 from a nonprofit and decided would retire. I was lucky enough to have no debt and healthy savings invested. I always lived in my life, not in my job, which may have made retirement much easier; I didn't gain my self-esteem and status from my work. The best thing about retirement is living to my own rhythm, like an animal--get up and go to bed when it's time and in between just live.
13
Those of us who benefited from two -parent families, affordable colleges and abundant well-paying job opportunities now are enjoying subsidized medicare, social security and regressive tax policies at the expense of our grandchildren. We can stop to smell the roses while ignoring the thorns. We'll be gone by the time the bills become due.
12
Humph! I’m still paying my share of taxes. I’m subsidizing some of the “us” you are referring to. And I’ll be helping my children and their children, too. What more do you want from me?
4
Seniors PAID FOR their SS and Medicare. US SS benefits are the fourth LOWEST relative benefits of their kind in the world, and almost every advanced country has a system similar to SS. http://www.businessinsider.com/almost-every-other-advanced-country-has-h...
11
My favorite quote, from a client on asking what her husband did: "Whatever he wants. He's retired." Now that's me and I have smiled more in the last four years than I did in the ten before that.
One thing I find encouraging is the millennials' more relaxed approach to life - don't buy a car, don't buy a house, go camping, take a year off and see the world, work at a job with reasonable hours - all the things I felt were necessary in order to be successful they look at and find other ways to do in a way that suits them better. I understand this is an approach of a fortunate few, but it's a release of the unending striving that drove my life and I think it's a good thing.
13
There is a big difference between boomers born in 1946 and those born in 1964-the end of the boomer age. I know plenty of late boomers who are working hard and very busy, so it much depends on where you fall in the group- (Barack Obama is a late boomer). Even some early boomers like Bill Clinton are still hard at work. Personally speaking, I hope to never reach the end of my to-do list, regardless of age.
8
I don't remember where I read this but my favorite response by a contented retiree to the question "what do with your time?" was "not much, but it takes all day".
12
This is perfect.
I'm a working Boomer turning 70 this year with a plan to retire.
I already find myself sitting at the kitchen window with breakfast and coffee for two or three hours at a time, scanning the news, watching the daffodils bloom and robins picking off worms in the spring rain.
Life is still very rewarding.
9
Different strokes for different folks, as we used to say. Now that I'm in my 60s, I'm having the "career" in the field I majored in and wanted but couldn't depend on for a living. I work hard at it, but now own my time and do what I want... at last! I don't have a boss demanding my time or determining what I will do. Sitting and contemplating is lovely - and I do that too - but I would rather make art.
11
As another boomer born in 1946, I must say you have "nailed" it. In the past, I would have been up on Sunday before sunrise baking off pastries and breads at my little bakery. These are memories I treasure. But, this Sunday, I sit on my sunporch wrapped in a warm bathrobe with a fresh cup of coffee. I slowly scan the spruce trees in my backyard hoping to see a golden crowned kinglet; a tiny beautiful migratory bird. No luck today. I turn my gaze back to my bird feeder and am greeted by the interesting coloration and relaxed behavior of a familiar visitor, a chipping sparrow. Always a nice sighting. I pause momentarily and contemplate my semi-retired state. I have the good fortune to have a bakery staff of talented folks who enjoy (perhaps "relish" is a more accurate word) my absence. It provides me with free time, time for myself, which has always been in short supply. Clearly a win-win situation as I slowly come to grips with the road ahead. When I run into customers and they ask what I am doing, I delight in telling them I am loafing as much as I can!
23
I have chosen to clean the American river. I love to see the progress and it is a great excuse to hang out by the river. I spend hours until I am exhausted. It is so beautiful there and what a great feeling of just being and an accomplishment too.
20
Thank you. Used to live in Sacramento and enjoyed that river.
3
The trouble that many Baby Boomers have is confusing the pursuit of happiness with contentment.
Instead of pursuing happiness (translated as wanting more things), they should have sought contentment in what they had obtained.
9
There is an old saying about oak trees: the first five hundred years to grow to height, the 2nd five hundred to flourish and generate, the 3rd five hundred to die. And the buddhist saying: the 1st half of life is spent accumulating, the 2nd half spent giving away. Both of these apply to baby boomers now in the final 3rd of life and with accomplishments behind, self discovery comes to the fore. It's attention is the capper to a fully lived life, but which most overlook as unimportant. I've met a 96 year old multi-millionaire and empire-builder, who felt unfulfilled and lost, so I count myself lucky. To me it's become the most important and in fact, what I consider my greatest 'accomplishment,' (although it cannot be defined as such.) Happiness is actually 'peace' (or contentment) which comes in accepting life as it is warts and all, and knowing that it could never have been any different.
17
Very well stated, Michele.
I am at the very end of the Boomers. There's one more item left on my personal to-do list. Not just for personal satisfaction, but mainly for my Daughter and two Granddaughters. And THAT, of course, is the end of the Republican Party as a viable, winning, National Organization. Trump should be the stake in their dark, shriveled hearts. Seriously.
89
Phyllis Daimatian,
Do you think the Democrats have served our young people any better? We've had 16 years of a Democratic President in the past 25, and one or both houses of Congress controlled by Democrats for substantial parts of that time. Yet we leave our kids and grandkids a messed up world.
Trump didn't win as a Republican. He won as an anti-politician. Whether he was being sincere or not is another issue.
The establishment Democratic Party, with its allegiance first and foremost to big corporations and big money, is just as destructive for a healthy democracy as are the Republicans.
4
God Bless you!
3
I had a 89-year-old neighbor who still created a painting each week, still often baked a couple pies or loaves of bread for relatives, still gardened.
One day she wandered over to my yard where I was weeding, chatted about books, and then told me about tasks she had planned for that day and week.
Next, she said: "Every day I try to do something productive. It is my way of earning this right I still have been given to be alive."
53
Lovely thoughtful writing. Thank you. Now I shall go in the backyard to waste a few hours watching the hummingbirds pursue the nectar from the blooming sages.
13
To pen such a panegyric for loafing must have taken a lot of work! It seems that, no matter how far removed from the boom, you can't take the boom out of the boomer.
3
I urge the writer to put just two more tasks on her “to do” list: PLEASE VOTE in November 2018 and (fate willing) November 2020. The fate of younger generations depends on it. Then loaf, and enjoy knowing you saved American democracy.
32
Lifetime Boomer to-do list
(1) Realize that the members of the Greatest Generation that raised you often had good, solid values and handed you the most amazing society in the world.
(2) Realize that the Greatest Generation and the Silent Generation did the real work of civil rights and ending the Vietnam War.
(3) Realize that your contributions to human history are mostly the computer and the internet - and ask yourself whether this has been a good thing.
(4) Realize that you totally failed to save the environment and planet Earth from your fellow greedy Boomers.
(5) Apologize to the kids for such things as Yuppism, a greed-is-good philosophy and the trashing of the American economy as well as the near-destruction of the planet.
(6) Realize that -- in all fairness - it was the Reagan era Yuppies (late Boomers) who did most of the worst things.
(7) Rename yourselves the Baby Bummers
(8) But take pride in one great thing: fantastic music - rock and roll, R and B, and so forth. This is your one great achievement.
Signed - A Baby Boomer
13
I agree with much of what you say. But the Boomers weren't even born when R and B started and the ones who were alive were only toddlers and little children when rock and roll emerged in the early 50's.
2
Many years ago I had the privilege to be present at a lecture by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., who proclaimed in his lecture "Life is about farting around."
I think that sums it up pretty well.
18
Nonsense. You want to go out to pasture? Go. Not all of us have given up on life. There is still so much to do. So much to enjoy. And a short snooze is a joy as well.
11
Having retired a year ago, the persistent question I still get is, "So, what are you going to do?" to which I reply...."I'll sing, dance and do a whole lot of nothing!" I do not view this time as wasted, rather, I view it as my reward. Sono contento!
12
Often asked the same question retired 10 years now. I usually tell folks, am fully employed and am manage my health & body. I workout regularly at the gym, yoga 3 times weekly, walk the dog 4x daily. It is a full time job, no pay but enormous satisfaction.
1
Finally! Thank you for your article! Everyone always preaches you "have to..." in retirement ...No you don't!!! You made my day!
11
My Wife and I were both born in 1952. Our Son is turning 29. He is very smart. His Wife and he have good jobs. I am retired. My Wife still works. We have survived a corporate raider, a bank meltdown, and a healthcare disaster. And we had insurance. Not enough. We live on a mountain with a long view. Our environment is our future. Or better put, our childrens future. We have the dumbest president in my lifetime. Lock him up. Peace.
29
I too am a member of the baby-boom generation. While it wasn't all peaches and plums, it has been a wonderful ride. I graduated into the previous "worst recession since "The Great Depression." As a result, my first job didn't have much to do with my degree. It paid a ridiculously low wage and required a six day work week.
A youthful body allowed me to power through those weeks, and still have time for a robust social/sex life. For the next six years, my salary doubled each year. Then, along came the PC revolution, and I jumped from a high paying job I hated, to a slightly lower paying one that I LOVED. I was self-taught in PC technology, but that was more than enough to guarantee a seat on the tech rocket to success.
Before I was thirty, I was making more than my dad would EVER make. Because I wisely realized I was too immature to marry, I spent my money on travel and sports cars. By the time I got married and entered middle age, I had sowed enough wild oats to feed a small nation. When stability asserted itself in my life, I had no regrets. As retirement looms, and the road signs begin flashing "FREEWAY ENDS AHEAD." I have few regrets. I had hoped to travel on a commercial lunar flight, but the optimism of the space age gave way to nonsense of the Cold War and it's costs. I could REALLY have done without seeing a total moron in the Whitehouse, and the Greatest Recession hurt a lot of my friends. My life, to date, deserves a solid B+.
9
I quit making to-do lists when Trump got elected, but I know what I like and plan to continue liking for as long as I can.
Here is a partial list:
Texas, U.S.A. and Israel.
Books by and about Abraham Lincoln, H.L. Mencken, George Orwell, Ezra Pound, T.S. Eliot, James Baldwin, Scott Fitzgerald, Theodore Dreiser and the U.S. soldiers who fought in World War II.
Audio recordings of old radio programs which I listen to before going to bed. (Gunsmoke, The Lone Ranger, The Shadow, Boston Blackie, Jean Shepherd.)
Goldenberg Peanut Chews, Cadbury Fruit and Nut Bars, Mr. Goodbars.
Willie Mays.
Buster Keaton.
W.C. Fields.
Beef tongue sandwiches, extra lean, on Jewish rye.
Dogs who weigh more than 120 lbs.and have heads the size of garbage-can lids (see above).
Cats who like to sleep on my feet on cold winter nights.
Plastic Man comic books.
Citizen Kane, Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
Spaghetti Caruso.
Caesar salad prepared in a good Italian restaurant with checkered tablecloths by a waiter who knows what he’s doing.
Boys' regular haircuts.
Blue blazers, blue button shirts, khakis, striped ties, cordovan shoes and belts.
Tortoise shell eyeglass frames.
A woman who wears just a touch of makeup. never wears dangly earrings, laughs at my jokes and reads lots of murder mysteries, i.e., my wife.
My Ball Official Railroad wrist watch from the 1960’s which needs a new band.
Chanel No. 5.
Pearls. Good ones.
Dresses, not pants.
There’s lots more, but you get the idea.
5
Oh what the heck, here are some more:
White fish salad prepared in a good deli.
Tuesday Weld.
William Powell and Myrna Loy.
Warren Williams, the old Hollywood actor.
Dr. Brown's Black Cherry Soda, the sugar-full kind.
Sugar Cokes in the original thick glass bottles.
Synagogues where women run everything, but still defer to the men.
My 1967 baby blue Ford Mustang fastback, V8 engine, leather upholstery with a jump seat in the back, air conditioned. Long gone now, but I still drive it in my dreams.
Lacrosse sticks made out of wood and catgut.
Gordon Lightfoot, Richie Havens, Glen Campbell, Shawn Colvin, Stan Rogers, Mary Chapin Carpenter and all of Motown.
Batman comic books, the ones from the forties and fifties.
"Lonely are the Brave" with Kirk Douglas --- his very best picture --with a Gena Rowlands to-die-for.
Black and white comedies and mysteries from the 20's, 30's and 40's.
Alden shoes, Gitman shirts, and New Balance sneakers, when I can afford them.
Commentary Magazine, the old Partisan Review, the old Sporting News. the old New Yorker.
Johnny Unitas and Raymond Barry. Unitas was the son of a coal miner. and played like it.
Pool halls and barber shops where you can still get a shoeshine.
The rest --I am hoping-- will appear soon in a graphic novel.
1
Ms Hampl, I’m sure you know that someone once said: Wasting time is the beginning of prayer.
Thanks for suggesting it’s worthwhile.
10
Having gotten past the big Seven Ohhh makes every day a gift. From this chronological perspective, the past is rich with memory. Regrets and ambitions can be laid to rest. The future holds fewer fears. The work of living is as hard as it ever was. Happiness isn't a pursuit. It's where ever you can find it.
11
Early boomers. Both retired but almost too busy. At this point, we are as busy as we want to be and can take time for a nap whenever we want.
4
The old "ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity ...
And do not think of the fruit of action.
Fare forward." T. S. Eliot, Four Quartets.
The loafing journey. The journey of loafing. John Steinbeck's fictitious Travels with Charlie. Gazing through the window or the windshield or the illuminated page. There is no 'intensity' like the 'pursuit of loafing' for we are not 'the same who left that station or who will arrive at any terminus'. (Eliot again) "You look good" is a work of grace. Fare forward!
S. Bruce Mould
5
Baby Boomer vintage 1946 here. I came to realize that for most of our (baby boomers) life marketing of all types was focused on our generation. We were the largest demographic and therefore the biggest customer base. All enhanced images reflected our generation and for a time we were forever young.
Reality has caught up with us and, if you are lucky, it is not so bad. It’s an old saying, if you have your health you have everything. I would extend that to your families health, good relationships and can maintain life within your financial means.
As for striving or loafing, I prefer striving. I don’t believe the calendar foretells when we should slowdown, our bodies will do that. I understand time/life is not limitless and at my age the horizon is closer, but I would rather charge into it full speed ahead than wait for it on the couch.
8
Your thoughts are more succinctly expressed by John Lennon almost 40 years ago in his song "Watching the Wheels." Lennon died just a few months after this song was released but the words provide prophetic insight into coming to terms with happiness and life.
8
I dunno. They've entered the Fox News demographic, and they seem just as greedy as ever.
6
Please spare me articles such as this. Surely you know torture is obscene. What could be worse than being tortured to death by banalities?
4
Stop; smell roses. Check.
4
Top on my boomer retirement to-do list is gazing at my beautiful, sweet dog. Ginger is aging fast, and I’m grateful I can spend entire days in her company.
10
It wasn't a wonderful life. I would not want to do it again; maybe I remember all the bad times -- but there were so doggone many of them. Nonstop, it seems. I cringe daily remembering them. What great memories?
JFK's assassination should have been a warning to me: Vietnam; Watergate; married the wrong woman; ugly divorce; indifferent grandparents, parents, and children; no friends -- wait, that's a plus.
The American South was and is a terrible place to be: violent rednecks who never fail to disappoint, if not threaten you. And that's just the womenfolk.
Life ain't so bad, though, now as a retiree. Workplaces were psychological nightmares. But now I'm free to be me; and although the game ain't worth the candle, at least the end part has some decent flavor. So far. Yeah, I've got the cancer and the heart attack and the high blood pressure and the clinical depression, but "Bosch" is pretty good on Amazon Prime; those guys, on the show, live and suffer in the darkness. No "Ozzie and Harriet" stuff therein.
But tomorrow's another day. And hope springs eternal yada, yada, yada.
-- Class of '49
(such as it is)
8
Liberty is a given?
2
This is the story of a generation, from Bill Clinton to Donald Trump. And this is how it ends, not with a whimper, but with a fool.
5
How typically American: even in our ageing we want to feel unique and special, superior to other nations. I have noticed difference between retirees on a European cruise ship my hubby and I took last summer: the Americans were the loudest and the most disrespectful, the Southern Europeans seemed the most content and interested in site seeing, the Northern Europeans got plastered daily, the Africans were the most respectful bunch, and the Arabs the most intelligent. Just saying.
9
White people problems. I finally understand what that means, and the contempt behind it. Not every "boomer" has the luxury of enjoying thumb twiddling just for the sake of thumb twiddling, but bully for you that you do.
21
I am so sick of Americans being exceptional. A personal contest between striving and serenity is.....uniquely American? How can someone even think that, let alone be so arrogant as to write and publish it? Exceptionally narcissistic, maybe.
11
Ahh, I'm not dead yet. Not even retired. Go bury someone else.
7
Turning the art of the wasted day into a book writing project. How American.
4
The last item on the to do list is to leave our descendants with something better than a fascist government presiding over a burned out planet. Nobody gets to turn their mind off until that’s done.
19
So you think liberty is a given?
3
If yo are writing a book about loafing, can you really be loafing?
1
There's a very real problem of vision and tone to this essay. I would almost think the author was trying to point out the different strata of experiences Baby Boomers have endured, because she certainly tossed some clunkers out there.
"...though the time has begun when no one will say we were cut down too early..."
Well, not if your baby boomer days didn't include that wonderful, year-long experience called "the Vietnam War." 58,000 missed the bus back home, and millions of others have been showing signs of a rougher youth that our author somehow overlooked.
As some Millennials here have correctly pointed out, this may not be the time for us to "loaf," with the Treasury looted, income inequality rampant, never-ending wars scheduled and college tuition and placement practices aimed at permanently separating the princes and princesses from the unwashed masses.
If disconnecting from the mess we've helped flourish is supposed to be a plausible "stage" of retirement, I reject it. I don't want to learn "The Art of a Wasted Day." Luckily, I know , I remember, and I'll never forget.
So, when I wake up in retirement every day, I ask myself, " Well, what is Bernie Sanders up to, today?"
14
"An individual human existence should be like a river: small at first, narrowly contained within its banks, and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfalls. Gradually the river grows wider, the banks recede, the waters flow more quietly, and in the end, without any visible break, they become merged in the sea, and painlessly lose their individual being. The man who, in old age, can see his life in this way, will not suffer from the fear of death, since the things he cares for will continue. And if, with the decay of vitality, weariness increases, the thought of rest will not be unwelcome. I should wish to die while still at work, knowing that others will carry on what I can no longer do and content in the thought that what was possible has been done." -- B Russell, "How to Grow Old"
3
We had a term for this sort of essay: benign navel gazing.
11
All I can say is "gee, thanks" you destroyed moral consensus , gave us Hep C, Ronald Reagan and a trillion dollar deficit. Please hurry up and leave before you do any more damage.
4
Now in my 66th spring, and finally retired, I have come to value ONE word as never before: OPPORTUNITY.
Each and everyone of us has had, at one point or another of our lives, the opportunity to steer our lives by making our own choices. Good or bad, they're still OUR choices.
Now that my "earning" years are behind me, I consider myself to be lucky. LUCKY to have made it so far, unlike some of my loved ones. I have buried my oldest son, and a wife.
I made the choice to take the opportunity to resume practicing the two things I've been most passionate about my whole life: Photography and Drumming, which I had to put aside while, as Allen Saunders wrote: "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.". NO, it wasn't John Lennon's original thought, although he made it famous.
Happiness is a state of mind. Not having to take ORDERS from ANYONE, even from my wife, and steering my own boat has brought a previously absent blissful happiness to my life. If I choose to do NOTHING a particular day, it's still my decision, and I couldn't care less.
Regardless; I'm "busy" as hell now, doing what I WANT TO DO, not what others tell me to. I just take "requests", thank you. If I can fulfill them, fine, if I can't, that's it, and I don't have (or want) to hear about it. Chores, on the other hand, are those things that have to be done in order to have a good quality of life...just par for the course.
My only "To Do List"? Learn something NEW every day...while it lasts.
18
https://www.thepennyhoarder.com/life/college/free-college-courses-for-se...
2
I love work, I really do. I used to think I'd never fully retire but after working for modern private equity America, with its wasteful strategies and it's striving for quarterly profits humanity be damned, I think I might run the opposite paradigm, retire early rather than see my energy spent working with fools.
5
Okay, so I’m slipping softly into old age. How old? I remember being roughed up on my elementary-school playground because my parents preferred Adlai Stevenson over Ike. That old. But it’s been fun. Actually, it’s been a blast, as we used to say. Watching the civil rights movement grant my fellow citizens rights and decency; participating in the effort to extend full parity to women; protesting obscene government overreach and military “adventures;” playing in a rock band, stoned out of my gourd, watching thousands of revellers enjoying my music as the sun set behind them, then snuggling up with a co-equal lover until a rosy dawn. We boomers did wonderful things, although — admittedly — we missed many societal opportunities. But we did ... as previously mentioned ... have a blast. Then we worked hard, built families, contributed to our communities, raised kids and hopefully taught them to further improve the world, and saw all the great bands <grin>. Sure, many of us screwed up, many of us went off the rails into greed and “us-versus-them-ism,” but all in all, if you compare today to the rigid “Leave It to Beaver” world into which we were born, I think we did okay. And so now, before I personally fade off into the sunset with the rest of my cohort, and in the spirit of this article — to quote the brilliant Firesign Theater of our age — I’m going to take the soles off my shoes, sit in a tree, and learn to play the flute.
14
Here as in many places online, when the Baby Boom generation is the subject, a sea of bile comes flowing from Generation X and Y about how we are all pampered, self absorbed, spoiled, greedy & the authors of all that is wrong with the world. As a member of this rather wide generation (I was born in 1961 to a very different world from the older Boomers) I am rather tired of the broad brush condemnation we receive.
I would remind the self righteous Gen X & Y readers that much of what happened in Civil Rights for African-Americans, GLBTQ rights, the Women's Movement, the Environmental Movement, the Consumer Movement, the Organic Food Movement, Community Supported Agriculture and much more happened with the deep involvement of the reviled Baby Boomers. The stuff you take for granted did not just appear out of the thin air.
Since I am speaking for my generation, the computers/tablets/internet and all was largely developed, commercialized and built by our generation- not yours. In 1976, two Baby Boomers by the name of Steve Jobs & Steve Wozniak started selling the first Apple Computers by mail assembled with love in the Jobs' family garage. Many other pioneers of what you take for granted were of this generation.
The world we were born into was segregated, diminished women, was homophobic, smoked like a chimney, had rivers that burned, had beaches dirty with cigarette butts and hated most anyone who did not look like them. That has mostly changed- guess who made it happen?
77
David Gregory. I cannot reproduce your comment technically but it’s the best one yet. So sad generations need to get down on one another there is so much to do always ! Thank you great list or important changes.
6
I am incredibly grateful that I was able to stumble across this philosophy at a young age, my early 30s. Both my parents were born in the mid-forties and I've seen them struggle to find the beauty of everyday things until they were past age 65. Particularly my mother.
No price is to high for the privilege of owning ones self. You'll be viewed as eccentric by many peers but respected for what you've learned and how much better you handle stress at minmium.
Sure there are goals and plans, but why must everything be a race to the next distraction?
I always think back to a visit at a yoga retreat a few years ago where this American Indian man (a guest instructor) was mindfully eating his breakfast; oatmeal with some blueberries and he ate so slowly and mindfully as if it were the most expensive meal on earth, the last thing he may ever eat.
If you've ever had any kind of brush with death and accepted that each day is a gift you can see the wisdom in slowing down and enjoying each and every experience life offers at any age.
I hope more people discover this before the 'third stage of life'. Our bodies cannot hold up like in our youth forever. Think of all the things we miss on our early travels in life that were really the proverbial 'icing on the cake'.
10
I, too, am a baby-boomer. Despite my always being a "stop and smell the roses" person, l find this essay to be somewhat disturbing.
Of course, people who have worked hard all their lives are entitled to some "me" time. And l agree that if you are lucky enough to have resources and health, it is a blessing to be able to do that. But not everyone is so fortunate. There are plenty of seniors who for whatever reason--sickness, divorce, caring for others--have little retirement money and end up working through their "golden years." (Often in demeaning, low-paying jobs.)
My view on this author's approach is it is a bit too self-centric. How about some real gratitude and giving back just a little? All the knowledge and gifts one has been given are to not be pushed aside at retirement so as to just "play every day away." They can and should be used to help others in some small way.
Our personal growth and our contribution to society should ideally continue throughout our lives.
19
I agree with you completely. I was born in 1946 and retired from teaching at age 64, knowing I wasn't completely ready. I did some research and found out that the happiest and healthiest elders continue to have purpose in retirement. I continue to teach reading part time and volunteer and support causes that inspire me such as the young gun law reform activists and get out the vote activities. Sitting around and wool gathering is not a reason to live. Besides, think of all of the very poor baby boomers and homeless Vietnam vets. We can be part of helping our fellow boomers if we are fortunate enough to be financially independent. Time is a precious commodity. Use it wisely.
6
To every thing there is a season, but those seasons may come only once. We toil so that others, including our future selves, may loaf.
4
I thought the end of the “to do” list was going to completing the bankrupting (financial, ecological, etc) of future generations through various entitlements appropriated during the greatest period of economic advancement in the history of the world while complaining about how entitled millennial are. Come on, Boomers; I’m sure if you get creative you can find another way to borrow against my future great grandchildren’s earning potential in order to ensure you are able to live 0.1% more comfortably into your unprecedented and gilded old age.
7
That’s rather unfair to Boomers. Many Boomers worry about the grandchildren of others as well as their own. Many Boomers have resisted the decisions that jeopardize our national economic stability while working for economic justice for all.
12
Wow! I’m feeling the hate. The financial transgressions against the future are being enacted not by a generation, but by voters of several generations and those who don't vote, thereby enabling the rich to steal from the poor and get us to divide, bicker, and blame. If you're lucky enough to survive to the third stage Hempl writes about, maybe you'll see what she means.
3
First of all, I should admit to being a baby-boomer. It is my generation that presided over the rise of the Tea Party, the 2008 financial collapse, the U.S. participation in the endless wars in the Middle east, the rise of the rule of corporate oligarchy, and finally the corruption in politics that has led to the election of Donald Trump. We were the beneficiaries of inexpensive college tuition and college loans/ subsidies. Now we are sticking it to our children and grandchildren, who will be paying for their student loans into infinity. It seems to me that the author of this article and many of those responding to it need to engage in less navel-gazing and spend their money and time in more activism in to make the U.S. more inviting place for their children and grandchildren. A "let them eat cake while we engage in our yoga" mindset won't cut it.
18
I'm a late boomer, 1952, so had the luxury of picking and choosing what to adopt and what to reject in that ethos. I liked the hippie movement right away because the costumes were great (cheap too!) but ultimately didn't like running with that herd.
I set out to chart my own course and chose a life that afforded me little money but plenty of time to live to live one.
Happiness isn't one of those things that's attained by pursuit. It exists in the spaces between the things we do pursue. The lovely lacuna of mind when your hands move by their own volition making a thousand identical thingies for some gig, the blood orange early morning sunrise when you've worked the night away, the sudden sharing of a winsome moment with the cashier at the supermarket, the comupance when your child asks you why she and her brother have to go outside to fight when "You and Daddy never do."
Now that I've retired from my job of making art for other people, I find I'm too busy taking care of my mother, my grandchildren, and stepping in for others still working to make art just for fun and its own sake.
There's a book that's being written at a snail's pace. A painting that's being painted in my mind. An underground hobbit house I've wanted to build since I was 10 years old on a hill that I walk to every summer.
Someday when my time has come I will go that hill, my ice flow, my viking ship and say goodbye to this beautiful earth I've had the pleasure of living in for so long.
12
If you were born in 1952, you most certainly are not a late boomer. The Baby Boom lasted through 1964.
Memi von Gaza: Beautiful prose here! You seem able to paint with words as well--thank you!
I'm closing in on retirement, and could do it any day. I still have a to do list but it doesn't involve 40-hour work weeks, it involves spending time trying to do something important. You see, us baby boomers only won half of our original agenda.
We were the ones who were going to liberate the world. You can thank us for LGBT rights, sexual liberation, progress on civil rights, social media, and improvements to the environment. Admittedly we had help from the pill, and from black, hispanic, and LGBT activists, but for the most part, we were on board and able to help.
However we missed out on the big one: economic rights. You could say we won the social agenda but lost the economic agenda. It looks like the right wing decided to give us the carrot but keep the stick. All those newfound rights will ring hollow if generations to follow are economic serfs, bound to a cycle of being either economic predators, or prey.
So here's my agenda. I don't have time and energy to fix it, but if I would like to create a compelling argument to help succeeding generations.
Here's my first pass: it is the job of government to ensure that the necessities of life exist in adequate supply, and are free from monopoly, or from excessive speculation. This is not about welfare, it is about keeping the prices of housing, medical care, education, and food within reach of persons of ordinary means.
If I can get this meme into the political discussion, my to do list will be complete.
52
Please red Chris Hughes' new book - it posits a philosophy and practical plan to achieve this
Totally agree with you about economic structures we've all found to be a difficult reality over the past 40 years--and yes, our government hasn't taken the cue from Sixties agendas we promulgated, However, just one point in response to your comment: Weren't (and still are) black and Hispanic (and Native American, too!), gay, lesbian, be-sexual, transgender, and queer--all Baby Boomers, too? We weren't all white, right?
1
Cate: Agreed, yes they are. I actually thought about that, but given the word count I'm allowed, I couldn't figure out how to fold that reality into what I was saying. I mentioned them there to include them, not to say that they weren't part of "us".
I still have a rather extensive "to-do" list. The difference is that for the most part it no longer has hard deadlines attached. So I can go with the flow - pause to listen to a bird song, or the silence of falling snow; drop everything in order to respond to a spur-the-moment idea; or just take some time to sit and relax for a while. But I never, EVER, have "nothing to do". (And if I ever did, I'm sure my wife would solve THAT problem in a New York minute!)
7
I think all cultures and ages have to do lists. It about what is on them. In the US, work as the only ultimate embattled expression of who we are, often supersedes a balanced healthy life of other activities and connections. When you get older, you do see how really empty all that was, if you hadn't already, but you don't just exist sniffing flowers. As time grows shorter, the to do list becomes even more precious and carefully refined, a joy and not a drudgery, although sometimes bittersweet. Ot certainly does not go away.
5
"The essential American word isn’t happiness. It’s pursuit."
Brilliant insight and brilliant essay. It is interesting how much pursuit and flight become entwined.
The key, which is the first thing mentioned, is to face down death. The miracle of awareness becomes so much more stark when you can accept that it ends. Wrestling your mind out from under this fear is quite liberating.
Observationally (and the comments bear this out), I don't agree that many Boomers have reached a place where they are interested in this mode of pursuit. Rather, people run and hide. We love life, and so fly from even the thought of death.
I'm 40ish and have been staring death in the face - by choice - for a few years now, an experiment in self-improvement that often felt creepy and morbid, but is starting to unfurl into something expansive and peaceful.
Yoga philosophy points to abhinivesa, the fear of death, as the primal cause of all our suffering. It's the first grasping instinct, the seed of wanting that slowly suffuses everything we do.
When I look at my young children, and think about the inevitability of my death, or theirs, it used to be terrifying. By dwelling on it objectively, that fear is starting to give way to a deep sense of gratitude for the time I've been fortunate enough to have. When we are attached to life, it is full of fear of loss, death being the biggest. Moving past that fear opens the gates of contentment, to happiness.
23
Well, I can tell you never tried meditation or yoga. I started meditating and doing yoga decades ago, and they have helped me through a lot of fevered to-do lists (like working full-time while earning two degrees) without the high blood pressure, etc. I'm a boomer, too, but for me meditation and yoga are not just another "thing" on the to-do list; they are what gets me through to the end of the list without frazzling the old nerves. They allow me to, you know, relax and waste a day whenever it makes me happy to do so.
11
What you may not realize is that by abandoning the pursuit, you are actually practicing yoga in which the journey matters more than the destination. Loafing oftentimes leads us to dwell on the past, working/raising a family leads us to focus on the future. Stage 3 allows us to savor moment by moment, which is the very essence of yoga: appreciating what is rather than what could/should/would be.
7
She left out the doctors appointments, the unexpected health issues, the reduced income, the death or illness of good friends, the increasing difficulty of traveling, the longer it takes for minor pains to recover, etc.
13
The most wonderful aspect of retirement is the time to listen to others. Listen for their views, feelings, random thoughts, observations, needs, and yes - nonsense. What's more, it doesn't have to be purposeful listening that relates to my personal goals, agendas and needs. Even more - the people I have time to listen to has expanded my horizons beyond those I "need to listen to." I now have time to communicate with strangers I come across here and there. I regularly feel the joy of now truly getting to "hear" others. From this luxury can we grow.
17
When I was walking in Japan some time ago when I was 61, feeling that I may never get this chance again, I met an 80 year old Japanese man who changed my life. He retired at 60 and started learning English and Chinese. He is far more well traveled than most of my friends, plays tennis and keeps an active social life. He is happy. I have taken on a group of seemingly impossible tasks to learn and next, want to master celestial navigation so I can trek at night when the days are too hot. I am almost 70. However, I cannot live without birdsong and the appreciation of cherry blossoms or snow falling. Find your own music to step to, although it is harder to find compatriots who just want to linger in the garden over their Chablis.
12
Pursuit of happiness - and the freedom to aspire to that - wasn’t necessarily an oxymoron when that phrase was written. The settlers left England in a state of flight from oppression. The colonists endured the hardships of starting from nothing and a bloody revolutionary war. The freedom to pursue happiness was hard won and achieved after a lot of trauma, the authors column is nice about old age but blaming it on some national hyperactivity disorder embedded in the framers language is a bit of an anachronistic reach. Pursuing happiness after enduring much oppression and many wars actually had deep meaning.
10
Loved the article, but is it true?
(I mean, after all, Patricia, you just published an article in the NYT and a book on loafing; That qualifies as having a pretty hefty to-do list)
My wife and I have a different philosophy than the one presented here. We are boomers, retired, whose bodies are showing signs of wear.
With intention, we set up our life to have a lot of to-do lists. What we believe is that we always need things to look forward to accomplishing.
Because of this philosophy, we have traveled 55,000 miles in the past six year in our pickup camper, camping and hiking on public lands far away from other people. We have hiked 3200 miles in that time. We also have cycled 12000 miles. We have fixed up our home, learned to play a mean game of ping pong, and can ball room dance at what we would consider a strong B level. A LOT of lists here.
We work on our gardens, do our own yard work, feed half of the birds on the planet, spend time doing things with grandchildren.
And recently bought a winter home that needs fixing up. Oh boy!
There is still plenty of time for me to sit and drink wine, and for my wife to sit and calmly and serenely knit.
We have many to-do lists, and enjoy, at the end of the day, reliving our progress toward our goals. We do everything together.
This works for us. We have seen and experienced more than we could ever have imagined at our age, and are still planning more conquests.
Loaf? Plenty of time for that after we die.
20
A highlight of my retired life this week was watching three birds, one after another, splash around in the bird baths in our backyard -- waiting to take to take their turn to 'chill' and looking like they thoroughly enjoyed their chance at it.
16
Exactly so. What did I do to today. Oh not much, really. Zumba class is my favorite. Dancing is a happy thing. Figured out how to do the garden in nice easy stages( it's established, with good soil, I've amended over the years). I feel that life is like that now, as well. I've got a lot of life to think about now. Tragedy befell me, but great good fortune too. Epictetus makes sense now. Checking off my list, that doesn't really matter anymore. Thanks for that wonderful column.
12
To-Do List:
My path today, follows this stream.
My purpose, as certain as what is seen.
With words as sweet as songs of birds,
Acts as gentle as the breeze.
(unfinished, as it should be, having brought me this far, 68, watching a maple in morning light, planted about forty years ago, listening for the next line . . . )
10
One of the many blessings of my recent retirement is having the time every morning to sit down in a sunny spot and read the New York Times. Great article and the comments were equally enjoyable.
22
Not having a "to do list" seems counter to any advise I have heard about aging; stay active, have structure and have a purpose. Successful aging should have a "to do list."
8
Perfect observations. Thank you Ms. Hampl for identifying that the of 'pursuit' of happiness is truly an oxymoron. And sharing your discovery of the joy that comes with 'letting go of all that'. And now I can appreciate the comment: "You look good", which always baffled me until now.
6
I'm 67. At age 40, I semi "dropped out". Doing enough to survive, but leaving the middle class striving for more.
I remember being shamed for not owning a car many years ago by a long time acquaintance.
He died in a car accident a few months later.
I was not happy about this, but aging and time itself, automatically puts many things in perspective.
7
The challenge for me is to understand the nuances between a human being and a human doing. I grew up in a culture where you were judged on what you did rather then who you were as a person. People inquired about your job, not your character. That type of thinking is ingrained in my core. I still feel better about myself when I have a "productive" day.
I strive to find balance and a little freedom from those ghosts that tell me to get busy. Mindfulness has helped me to be able to quiet my mind. As The Budda teaches the goal is to be able to sweep the walk and that should hold all your attention, no thinking about what to do next or what I should have said.
Besides have you ever seen such a clean walk?
23
Born in 1947, I am not far from what you write. But I have been meditating and doing yoga for 20 years. To downplay those two practices as just things, is to not understand the growth in consciousness that can continue forever. I only hope that each generation starts meditating earlier and earlier in their life.
12
I was thinking the same thing as I read this essay - the yoga and the meditation are surely helpful foundations for transitioning from industrious me to loafer me. And maybe a gentle balance between the two is worthwhile. Changing a modus operandi is not for the faint of heart.
8
I have had the luck to have a good life. Now at that juncture where I know deep in my core, and not just intellectually, that life is finite, I savor the daily moments I might have ignored before: watching a bee navigating the garden, enjoying a thunderstorm, my daily walks, and the like. More than ever, I value my family, my friends, helping others, the joy of travel that I am privileged to have, and the random, beautiful gift of life on this planet.
14
I spent thirty plus years in a whirlwind of work, travel and children. I am only now, at the age of 71 starting to feel my age. It's definitely a challenge to accept this, especially when we live in a "young" world. Great article, made me feel that "my you look good" is ok!!!!
5
Cue the ambulance siren. "That will be umpty-nine dollars for your ride and medical procedures. Enjoy your loafing in a vegetative state on the tax-payers' dime." Gather ye rosebuds but when it's check-out time go with dignity and honor. Or we could just take care of EVERYBODY by taxing the rich. Healthcare for everyone is something I hope to see before I die. There are no monetary rewards for not burdening our insufficient medical delivery system. Maybe people would think about living healthier lives if there were. We Boomers are a self-entitled lot and our end-of-life expenses are shaping up to put enormous strain on the country's balance sheet. No one knows what choice one will make when faced with a decision about living longer. The time loafing could include some contemplation about that.
13
I would stop with the self-entitled nonsense. The Longitudinal Study of Generations out of California shows that boomers do huge amounts of elderly caregiving, their parrents and grandparents actually did very very little, even if their own parents were alive. This misinformation serves one purpose, to suggest that boomers don't deserve the same end of life care that their parents had.
1
Burden of healthcare vs. burden of Military Industrial Complex...
As an aging Boomer, I find that I'm learning a good bit from our old dog, age 16. She doesn't see as well as she used to, eats a little less, looks for a comfortable and warm spot to sit, doesn't chase birds or squrirrels anymore, and seems content to enjoy each day, while looking forward to a small treat around noon.
39
I gave myself permission to stop going to the gym. I never liked it and went only through a sense of obligation. I'm free! (and quite fit, too)
15
I finally figured out at age 73 that a lovely walk , at my own pace, makes me much happier than a grim 45 minutes sweating thru an exercise class. Cheaper, too. My walks are my meditation time where my mind wonders and I stop enjoy the world around me. What a sense of freedom to allow myself to do what I want and what I enjoy, rather than what some wellness article tells me I need to do.
5
Madelein, not a good idea; modify, adjust, or whatever it takes to keep your aging body active. That 5,000 steps a day works for many. Sniffing the flowers doesn't do much for physical well being.
Getting old, for many of us it seems, does not reduce our insatiable need for affirmation. If we can overcome that, we can be free to do what we have given meaning to freely with whatever wisdom and talent age has let us seize. I see no point in defending my generation. it has been no more or less selfish, destructive, noble or brilliant than any other. And, I no longer wish to defend myself: I have learned from my mistakes; I love my family; I enjoy my own music, my own art, my own political activism - all at my own time and place.
17
The "Insatiable need for affirmation"? I got over that one a long time ago. Ridiculous.
But this : "and for once you don’t really need to have a to-do list."
I can only say yes,yes,& more YES. Only recently have I come to this conclusion. Its been slowly seeping in for some time, & a struggle, & seeing this said - literally - helps so much. Thank you
1
Thank you. There is a lot of wisdom here. But, also a danger if you are now compelled to write more and more. Yet another to do list.
8
Your friend is right. You should try meditation and yoga. They are key to feeling better about everything and staving off the aches and pains of aging.
6
Chuck the to-do list. That's just one more thing on the to-do list. If Patricia Hampl truly believed in what she wrote, she would not have written this piece. She would have luxuriated in the thought of it is all.
Walt Whitman was Walt Whitman not because he leaned and loafed to observe a spear of summer grass. Walt Whitman was Walt Whitman because he did what came pure and natural out of the convergence of his heart and soul and action. Trying to be Walt Whitman is as much of a to-do list activity as yoga or getting politically involved.
Try to understand yourself (perhaps for the first time) and then do what comes natural. It's the only way to-do something that's not on a list.
9
As a childless couple, our "to do" list didn't end until we found the perfect (for us) continuous care community and bought an independent living cottage. NOW we can Airstream across America knowing our final destination is all taken care of.
4
I'm a late boomer but also a earnest student of loafing. My advice as to how to really attain the heights of loafing bliss is a adopt a cat and let it teach you how it's done. Lunch in the spring out on the patio watching my tuxedo cat stretch out and roll around in the sunshine --life couldn't be better. He has no to-do list, although I can't imagine a creature more complete.
30
I was born in 1947 and all I can say is we've earned this station in life with a lot of hard work and sacrifice. One of the benefits of being a "senior" is to look back and understand the brevity of this gift called life. I lost my wife to cancer in 2015 and she is not with me to enjoy the efforts of our work together over 45 years of marriage. I am also a combat vet of Vietnam and know well of many who had this opportunity stolen from them in a senseless war. So, no need to completely throw caution to the wind, but do get out there and enjoy life to best of your ability. Your mortality is in route, closer by the day. Do not put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Tomorrow may not come.
41
Yes, I wish I could retire one day and have nothing left on my to-do list. The problem is that one third of us, especially at the tail of the baby boom, will never have that luxury…...
13
I sometimes judge myself as lacking when I hear recent retirees go on about how busy they are in retirement. Is something wrong with me because I don't want to be busy? That I don't have any particular passion to pursue? I do things I enjoy, and often those things are not much of anything at all. And that's okay. Isn't it?
123
Yes!
3
Yes it is. At 72 I am finally learning that I have the authority to decide what is best for me. You are the authority on what is best for you. Enjoy
6
I'm right there with you - painting when I feel like it, learning to water color at an incrementally slow pace, trying a new recipe maybe once a month. I get it. Stop already with the "to do lists"!
3
Our founding documents have a hidden curse. For all our pursuing and deep identification with independence, we have learned to value what we do over who we are, and autonomy over meaningful relationships. When deeply identified with doing, we can't even learn to value simply being because we have no idea what that even means (hint: being does not mean loafing).
6
I am reminded of the Zen goal to eat when I am hungry and to sleep when I am tired. Simply focus on just being and so experience the contentment that this brings. Only then do you notice the bird song and enfold the smell of freshly ground coffee.
39
As a recently retired boomer at 62, I get concerned when I read statements like “Baby Boomer are redefining aging.” Please, haven’t we done enough to the world? I am sure there are many of us that are bereft of purpose without schedules, to do lists, important meetings, grand plans, etc. Stop spoiling it for the rest of us. Human history, while our concept of retirement may be relatively new since few people could live long enough to enjoy it, has always had a place for old to step down and off. While different concepts of reality exist, I think they all share a belief two objects cannot occupy the same space. We do not need to be important or look important. Whatever we think we would accomplish, we likely do more harm to those behind us that we impede. We earned the right to loaf. Loafing does not mean being being selfish. Plenty of opportunities exist to serve (and serving almost always does not mean telling other people what to do.). Still, when someone with more hair and less gray hair says “Sir, we’ve got this one”, accept it and resume loafing.
12
Delicious reflections that the contemporary "leader anetico" avoid doing when we are in the aftermath of the Second Stage, which I call: The youth of old age, or beginning of the Third, that a novelist quotes as The old age is an island surrounded of death. What we did, what we will do or will not do in this common and inevitable place to be what we believe is happiness.
2
Thanks for this. As you inspired me, think I'll spend this rainy Sunday re-reading Leaves of Grass.
15
Some commentators appear to insinuate that those who do not have the means, energy or inclination to keep running marathons, travel to exciting places, or "change the world," are lazy and boring.
Their stereotypical striving, physical activeness, and "advancement driven" approach to life may be fine for them, but, like many other people in other cultures, many of us value things that can not measured or bragged about: artistic pursuits, hobbies, conversations with friends, reading, gardening, or simply having the time to think and contemplate.
It's time that we loudly defend our quieter pursuits---they are just as meaningful (and often less polluting).
75
But what about purpose — meaning? Is simply “being” sufficient? For me, simply being (loafing) produces a feeling of staleness. Without purpose, I suspect growing older likely leads to getting stale — a state far removed from happiness.
4
"Simply being" isn't simple. The quiet life of the mind is complex and deeply satisfying . It might just take a bit of age and experience to be appreciated and accomplished.
22
You conflate “being” with “loafing”. Couldn’t be more wrong.
As sages from Buddha to Whitman and Emerson to Nisargadatta to Jan Frazier teach us, “being” can be a deeply conscious act of grateful awareness.
Loafing in our culture is often the opposite — deliberately numbing our awareness by consuming large amounts of television or other pollutants. A less socially acceptable variant of the numbing we do with careerism and social climbing.
17
I'm 73 and still work part time in a meaningful profession that serves people. At 65 I left my full time job, started taking art lessons and entering art shows, joined clubs I had no time for earlier, take in a matinee movie, work out at a fitness center, visit my adult children more often and went back to school to train for my current position. Everybody has to find their own balance in retirement but sitting around frittering away time for the sake of doing nothing as a reward for years of doing something is not for me.
15
After four and a half decades in healthcare I finally have the time and space to just "be" and I love it. Almost everyone in my life, family and friends and former colleagues, can't believe it. But I safeguard my nothing time because it holds a certain treasure that I want to protect and encourage. The remaining time I have in life is so precious to me that I protect it even if my friend's think I've become whacky!
43
Me? 1946.
This article? Liberating. Nice.
My Opinion? Whatever floats your boat.
Best comment so far on the page? "Balance."
At this age, I am finally liberated from that need to identify with employment (very much a guy hangup) and "striving to meet profit and budget goals". I loved it for 50 years. Now I don't need it. I walk the dog. I plant a small garden.
But I also volunteer - animal rescue, community association. Helping relatives and neighbors who don't have my skill set. This feels great.
We can travel. It's OK. But one of the greatest joys I have is to get a notification from Google calendar that says: "You have no events today." Woohoo.
Last thought. Too much rest and reflection could lead to atrophy. So the balance for me is to stay active and contribute but wallow in the joy of a lack of pressure - finally, wonderfully.
Now if I could just turn off the stressful news feed from Google...
54
To the commenters: Thank you for sharing. Many of the reflections here as thought-provoking as the piece itself.
25
I can relate to the author's opinion piece. I'm in the middle of the Baby Boom, born in 1953, retired and not having any regrets or second thoughts about leaving the workplace. Like the author, I'm not missing performance reviews and to-do lists. Not having a detailed daily agenda, and enjoying the activity or no activity of the day, works just fine for me.
Credit Albert Brooks in the movie Defending Your Life with a very workable life philosophy -- "I'm tied of being judged."
24
Interesting article but at 75 I’m not ready to pack it in as you seem to suggest . Yes go to gym, learn yoga, travel, work if thats what you want.
If you are healthy enough to do “it” then do it. No reason not to smell the roses along the way, but I’m not interested in watching grass grow
1
When Justice Holmes was past 90, a friend found him translating Plato from the Greek to "improve my mind." We are never too old to get better, to be of use, to discover new things. The body ages but the attitude can remain young.
19
I thought he was learning classical greek and when asked said "To improve my mind."
The boomer generation has done much good but they (we) have not been asked to bear a collective sacrifice for the good of the country. Perhaps they would do well to spend what the author calls the third phase of their lives by contributing towards solutions for problems that they have allowed to go unaddressed, such as climate change and the national debt. Maximizing one’s own happiness is fine, as long as others (in this context, future generations) can maximize theirs as well.
17
95% of the 58,000 Americans who died in Vietnam Nam were baby boomers. I believe they made a collective sacrifice for the good of the country. Plenty of boomers have devoted their adult professional lives to difficult work in education, social services, government and political activism. Stop whining about how narcissistic we all are. Too simple an explanation for the mess we're in now.
6
You've chosen to ignore my point, which is your prerogative but which makes a substantive response unproductive.
When I was little (say, 10 or 11), I used to just lay in the grass on my back for hours, looking up at the sky and listening to small planes buzz in the distant skies, wondering about the pilots and who they were carrying and where they were going. What I wouldn’t give to be able to do that again before I die. Maybe it will have to be minutes instead of hours.
23
I am pushing 70 and I am still working, but I also spend a lot of time doing, well, pretty much what I want to be doing. I no longer live by other's expectations and I don't care at all what is trendy. I just took up knitting because I want to learn to knit. It looks like fun. No other reason. Its a good way to live.
14
Find the balance - that's the pursuit. Happiness is finding the balance.
23
I too was born in 1946. However, I could not disagree more with the core sentiment of this article. I am still striving, however for different (non-economic) goals. Moreover, I will continue to strive until I am physically unable to do so. PS: Grandchildren, not necessarily germane to this topic, is one of the most rewarding and fulfilling part of this stage of life. It should have deserved at least a passing comment.
9
Not everyone has grandchildren.
1
American culture or perhaps brain washing has always promoted the concept that you live to work which may be the reason why some boomers may find it difficult to retire when their identities have always been shaped by their jobs. I prefer the European philosophy that one works to live to have a more enriched life and a balance between work, family life, and leisure. This makes it much easier to slip into the retirement phase of life.
137
I hope future generations strive for balance between family life, leisure and work. The boomer generation failed miserably in that respect. The Boomers' high rates of obesity and diabetes are a testament to what happens when people don't have time to exercise and prepare healthy meals because of an expectation of long work hours and long commutes.
I find it interesting that the illustration doesn't include children in the briefcase stages of life.
7
Having just had another birthday--yesterday in fact, the day Lincoln was shot, the day the Titanic hit the iceberg and the day of my birth--I share the same cohort with Ms. Hampl. Thinking back on my happiest times, I find them to have been and to be those times when I felt connected with the larger world:
-- carrying my newborn daughter from the delivery room to the nursery
-- seeing and hearing dolphins breaching Guantanamo Bay in the stillness of 3 am
-- watching an osprey successfully get a fish dinner in a remote lake in the middle of a 5 day canoe trip
I also doubt I will see 144 but I am hopeful of having more such experiences before I return my collected atoms to the stardust from which they came.
I am wasting time as fast as I can, Mr. Hampl.
33
Amen to the 5 day canoe trip - amen and amen again- in 73 years i have never been off the canoe trip. May the winds be at your back, my good friend.
"I loaf..." -Walt Whitman. I'm 66 y/o and retired in 2012. When I retired I consciously tried to slow everything down. Walk slower, drive slower, eat slower etc. I meet friends for the occasional meal or coffee out. One can get a "senior" coffee at McDonalds, where I live, for $.76. You can sit for as long as you like, unmolested, with FREE refills. Oh yes! And napping. The ability, in retirement, to lay down and nap...at any time. One of the purest, cost free joys in retirement! As the saying goes, nobody on their deathbed regrets not having spent more time at the office.
216
And what IS happiness? Fun? Elation? Excitement? The absence of sadness and anger? Are these the result of happiness or the cause? The specific actopns - rock climbing, origami, god, whatever - look different for each person but commonly the pursuit produces a state of contented joyousness. Where give equals get, done is greater than strive and love expels fear. When we can step aside from our own ego selves at least we have a path leading to happiness.
9
It is the PURSUIT of happiness according to Epicurus who was followed by Jefferson. We pursue differently in the third stage. The freeing of constraints allows feeling oneself part of things in a deeper way. Loafing and loving as Whitman would have it.
4
Happiness is a common goal for all sentient beings, it is also called peace. It is a state of being not dependent on external expectations being fulfilled by others. It is a state we are born with, everyone’s birth right. We are conditioned into believing we have to work towards happiness by doing a b c, x y z. Truth is we don’t have to do anything we just have to be ourselves, self aware, witnesses. Our brief span on the earth is our opportunity to touch feel see hear smell taste all this planet has to offer. As self aware beings we can do these things right here on earth, not so as ether spirits nothingness. We arrive, we enjoy joys sorrows, we leave them behind until our next journey as maybe opposites just so we can experience it all.
1
As a vintage 1951 boomer, I'm learning how to waste hours. So it begins. Someday, as the author suggests, I may learn how to waste entire days.
23
Retired after a very fulfilling career and family life, I feel more pressure now than ever before to be busy and productive, make friends, keep up a social life, exercise, keep my mind active and interested - in short, all the incesssant advice spewed to retirees to stay healthy and alive. But instead, I sleep late and enjoy a lot of quiet time. My friends are running around taking classes, doing workshops, giving back to the community, tai chi in the park and travel. It's all so exhausting and yet I am made to feel guilty when I am enjoying the sound of silence in my own garden. I've given a lot of myself during my "productive" years. I deserve my hard-earned rest and recuperation.
319
Spend even more time in your garden!
12
I liked this writer's viewpoint about the seemingly never ending "to-do" list of life. I am an on the cusp of boomer hood and this article makes me think about my childhood sitting on the wooden benches outside my family's general store in our tiny southern Indiana town. I loved listening to the "loafers" (mostly old guys) who gathered each day to share stories and comment on recent happenings around town. They loved teasing me and sharing their stories, sometimes hilarious yet other times not very appropriate for a child. Still, I always appreciated this small glimpse into life and growing older. Now that my time is at hand, I practice the art of loafing with a clear conscience and strong will intact.
24
As a recently retired Baby Boomer and midwestern raised on the value of hard work and chores, I was taken by this article. I still feel guilty when I loaf. But I recently returned from a trip in Berlin and the most precious moment was not museum hopping, but riding in a taxi to the airport, in the rain at 4 am listening to Bach on the cab radio. It was the essence of the trip.
136
Beautifully said
6
Right.
All well and good if you can afford it.
P.S. - Loved the illustration.
14
The essay writer talks about leaving the to-do list behind; but by far my largest to-do list was everything I needed to do in my JOB -- often for others who were often not so great in their own jobs. My point is that leaving that job behind and retiring Automatically makes one's to-do-list shrink drastically.
American society urgently pushes the notion that the working classes should find life's meaning in their work. Then retire in one's 70s and hopefully live for another 15 years (on average). But so much of that ethos is deeply not true. Yes, some rare people can find life's meaning in their jobs, but for most of us a job is necessary to pay the bills and that is it. Most jobs are actually life-draining. No one working wants to talk about that though and I have been there and I dont blame them.
52
Boomed in 1946 carries responsibilities because (as the leader of the youngsters behind us) required a liberalism of unfathomable freedoms. We escaped our parent's supervision beginning circa 1958 and then realized we had always been ignored. Our post-war parents grew weary of children by the time the kids were 6, and they wanted to make money and enjoy themselves without children underfoot. We spent our time outside and we were soon (on our bicycle) miles away from the rules of the house. We were raised interactively with other kids and friends and learned freedoms of self-reliance and imagination. Parents were mostly or entirely an afterthought, passé and avoided.
23
I can relate also born in 1946 grew up with dutiful parents and benign neglect as did all the the kids in the neighborhood. We roamed freely, created our own adventures and solved our problems. Maybe that has helped prepare me for this wonderful age of loafing or as it is defined in today’s terms mindfulness. It is delightful and I savor every moment just sitting
enjoying the blue sky or listening to music or a podcast or watching a tv show. Electronically It is like the entire world has now come to us, How lucky we are to experience each moment or to reminisce about past ones without all the distractions of to do lists and all the responsibilities. Being a foodie from way back my sons and grandchildren, friends and family are the icing on the cake! Truly the best of times.
1
Ah yes, the bicycle. Our greatest freedom machine. Even Captain Kangaroo sold them.
1
Hmmm, also an early boomer here. Worked steadfastly, tried to live a healthy lifestyle, saved pennies in order to experience a retirement of a certain quality - my choice. Mostly grateful that it has been possible. But recently I spent an evening in the company of some age peers who unlike me had been born to privilege, and if my impressions are solid, were absolutely unaware of their great luck. Their expectations were truly first world and their preoccupations were expensive - sending the grandchildren to Oxford, the secondary homes, more than exotic travel (for eg a hands on craft trip to Japan). After a few hours together I found myself wondering what it was like to have never known anything different and how utter affluence markedly alters perspective. Even the so-called boomer generation wasn’t created equal - definitely not the monolith it is often labeled.
122
In an unpublished notebook, Whitman drew a specific link between loafing and political life. In fact he made loafing an ideal for the whole nation: "I have sometimes amused myself with picturing out a nation of loafers— Only think of it! An entire loafer kingdom!" As someone born in 1946, happily retired, but unhappy with the current direction of our nation's government, I think of it often.
16
Born in the same year, I am happily retired but the "pursuit" still is important. A part of happiness is the reaching for and at least sometimes achieving goals. It's more mellow now since the goals are only for personal satisfaction.
Joe
9
I'm not sure where I fit here. I was born in 1940, the oldest of five kids. I have no memory of the Depression or WW2 only of the prosperous post-war era. I always considered myself an early boomer.
3
Totally agree. Americans are to a large extent defined by what they do for work. Once they are not working they are nothing. If they are not producing they are a drag on their family and society. TV ads talk about retirees “finally doing what they want” which pictures starting a new business, becoming an artist, taking up child care, you know, all those things you really wanted to do all those years. When retired, there is a void in front of you instead of a schedule and your life is up to you instead of someone else. This year I finally retired for real. My contemporaries still working ask, “well how is it?”, expecting me to begin weeping insanely. Retirement, like work, takes time to learn how it all works and I am still working at it.
46
I dont know but it sounds like you arent enjoying your retirement? Dont let others' expectations about what they think YOU should be doing every day control you. Do what you want -- think about your day differently.
11
I could not agree more. A single '48 Boomer, I retired 3 years ago from a very successful career in social services that paid well - non-profit/government well - and allowed me the time for personal travel. Thus, I lack a bucket list - and the need to "give back" to assuage the guilt of years focusing solely on profit. I have always done "god's work."
What I find is an emptiness, a lack of enthusiasm as I try new activities so I can structure my days and make new friends. It is all too easy to never leave the house. I thought I was jaded but, after speaking to friends, found that they feel it too. We wonder if it is a physiological function of aging -but it is a real problem, especially because we're a bit out of the mainstream, with often still employed younger friends - and younger outlooks. Whoever thought we'd lose our passion?
So we try adult learning programs, beloved by many attendees, but not really us, take pottery classes and maybe Tai Chi, in the hope of something clicking. Between my thrice yearly trips abroad, which may no longer thrill, I contemplate becoming a regular at the obscenely expensive local gym (there is no "Y"), filled with affluent, perfect, competitive 30-somethings, which saps my motivation. Rich people's problems (due to a lucky condo purchase eons ago), perhaps, but very real and concerning.
At least as a single, retirement is not easy, it takes a lot of work and, even with adequate resources, can be stressful in new and unanticipated ways.
8
I think the commenters here confuse the author's to do list, by which he means a chore list, with a bucket list. I'm his age, widowed and retired after a busy two profession (nursing and law) life and raising a family. I, too, no longer have an urgent to do list. But my bucket list of things I want to experience (getting arrested at a civil protest, seeing Otzi in Italy, using marijuana legally, getting a glimpse of the Northern Lights, re-reading a number of favorite novels, watching the Sopranos all over again) grows almost daily. No yoga for me - that was just another chore that I've happily given up. Now I do - or don't do- what I want , without nagging guilt. This is true freedom.
153
Love your bucket list - particularly seeing Otis. As a history lover I found his discovery, with artifacts, to be the most fascinating historical discovery of my boomer lifetime.
7
Good old auto correct changed Otzi to Otis, I see. Hard to envision a stone age guy named Otis!
Really facing one's own mortality has a way of forcing the process that the author describes. For many people this happens in old age. For me it happened at 29 with a cancer diagnosis, and it has made life since then seem like a true gift: gratitude for each day is my mantra.
66
I’m just one year behind the author and relate to much of what she expresses. However I don’t agree with the notion that loafing is all it’s cracked up to be. Having stopped commuting to my (very enjoyable) job in the big city a year and a half ago, I spend time engaged in a variety of (also enjoyable) activities. I teach at a local community college, substitute teach at our local middle & high school, enjoy a coffee or two in the AM reading the NYT, play music with friends, earn a retainer for consulting expertise in my previous career field, enjoy travel with my spouse of 46 years, take long walks in the woods and along the Hudson, enjoy a decent bottle of wine for a reasonable price with dinner, get together with friends on a regular basis, and find enormous pleasure hanging out with our two sons, one daughter in law, and our amazing 2 and 1/2 year old granddaughter. Life is meant to be live fully.
7
What this essay talks about is the very essence of meditation. You don't need to sit in a room with legs crossed to do it and you don't have to wait to old age to start.
25
After attending one of my oldest and closest friends, the advice suggested here sounds about right. Had my dear friend lived this is what she promised herself: the freedom to loaf.
13
The last third of my life? Retirement is a bountiful thing. Performance standards, to do lists, annual reviews and the competition with others are elements of my life that have drifted into nothingness.
I am doing what I have always wanted to do: helping those in need, reading the best fiction and non-fiction ever written, and publishing, for now, my memoirs.
I have focused on several qualities in need of refinement in my soul: patience, tenderness, and warmth. I am learning to tell better stories and connect to others more fully, particularly my spouse of 40 years.
Yes I am old. Thank God I have lived long enough to be called old . It is one beautiful place to be.
420
"...one beautiful place to be." I put that up there with being put out to pasture (what a wonderful image; a life of grazing, wandering, free of the saddle and the bit), and with "the golden years." Here is what my older years have brought me: my first and only husband, the most beautiful person I have ever met; a home on acres in the double digits, in the middle of nowhere, exactly where I've wanted to be all my life; gardening to my heart's content. And 2 knee replacements, 2 broken femurs (2 years apart), 2 cervical spine fusions (4 years apart), during which I was at high risk of becoming a quadriplegic and unable to comply with the strong suggestion that I avoid falling because one of the symptoms of my pinched cervical nerves was an impaired sense of balance. Then I tore an Achilles tendon so violently, it also tore off the bone spur it was attached to, leaving insufficient healthy tissue to complete the repair, so tendon from my big toe was used. I had not completed physical therapy when it became obvious my back was broken. Significant bone was cut out because the spinal canal was so narrow, it was beginning to squeeze the spinal cord nerve roots. Screws and small rods were inserted to keep my back functional. Golden years? I have, in my senior years, overcome physical challenges which enables me to recognize what amazing strength I have been given. I am blessed to be able to do so, and have no doubt that my husband's love was my secret.
9
Really beautifully said. And thanks for validating my loafing. So much of the stuff we Boomers endlessly chased when we were younger seems so ridiculous if we're privileged enough to live long enough to realize it. I think the younger generations watched us and figured that out. And good for them if they enjoy loafing more at a younger age. I can get lost just looking at the beautiful blue sky and billowy clouds for hours and realize how grateful I am to still be here and able to finally appreciate what a magnificent world we have been granted.
91
Our purpose in life is to learn to love , appreciate, accept ourselves. Each of us is a microcosm of the world, so if we are fortunate enough to get ourselves- we are poised to be better citizens, more tolerant and loving. This is the reason to have, relish free time- as a conduit to achieving self appreciation
9
For better or worse, Americans of the baby boomer generation have redefined aging. Unlike most prior generations, today's boomers are living entirely unlike the elders or prior generations. You're as likely to find a 70-year-old hiking, climbing, boating, kayaking, etc., as you are sitting on a couch.
This generation will blow the doors off the actuarial tables.
32
1947 here. We will not go quietly into that good night.
4
The Burmese say: "old people haunt the (Buddhist) monasteries." It isn't loafing, or even becoming a monk. It seems to mean to get out of the stream of life while still alive.
23
"The essential American word isn’t happiness. It’s pursuit", so spake Ms. Hampl.
OK, but pursuit of what? -- Of the lucre that presumably brings happiness, all other factors being equal. But this is by no means an attribute of baby boomers only, but of all the preceding and future generations yet to come.
Yoga, organized religion, and philosophical ruminations are a superstructure that nurtures the inner visceral drive to pursue the mentioned above.
6
Gosh, no...I as a Baby Boomer still have a To-Do list, so many To-Do lists. There is much to learn yet, so many people and ideas to engage with. Oh yes, I can "stop and smell the roses." But how much better it is to enhance that iconic flower by creating with and around it more beauty. Yoga, of course. But for me, I need to share that ancient form of meditation and bring it to others.
I came of age in the 60's, and its spirit helped mold who I am today. Perhaps the poet Robert Frost said it best and captures my essence: To paraphrase, I have miles to go before I sleep.
17
Great column, and it's exactly how I feel as I cruise toward old age. That line of Whitman's has stuck with me since college, along with "Whoever you are now holding me in hand...," which I read one spring night in my dorm and felt as though Walt himself were in the room talking to me.
As for most of these comments, though -- a reminder never to read comments.
10
This article is not about economics, Trump or the decline of the civilization. It is a personal essay meant to be appreciated for the observations it makes about the nature of the human experience. The fact that so many readers find it a flash point for an outpouring of political polemics makes me sad. There is a time and place for everything. And this is not the place for that.
105
The point of the piece is missed .. they are so mired..
3
Old, I guess, I never suffered any mid-life crisis, nor was retirement quite the demarcation for me that it is for others. There has been little diminishment in my physical abilities and none in my energy. I was always wary of a career usurping my life, so by mid-career I was negotiating more and more scheduled time off.
Not that I was born to wealth or narrow entitlement, but I realized by forty or so that I was happier than most people, perhaps because I prevailed more often than they did. It is my good fortune to have been born an INTJ.
It develops that I was born with a common birth defect, a bicuspid aortic valve. After they operated they explained very sincerely that they really didn't know my physical limitations after the breastbone healed - so few people my age were in my shape.
I feel like I should be lamenting old age, but I just can't.
10
just had my bicuspid aortic valve checked by a cardiologist the other day - treadmill stress test, ultrasound, my valve works great with very trivial leakage, but he said 50% of leaky aortic valves have enlarged aorta (vessel) - my aorta had increased in diameter from 39mm to 45mm in 9 years (recommended limit before operation is 55mm) - I'm going back tomorrow for a 24hr BP monitor, and then an angiogram to explain the 20PSI BP difference between my right and left arm.
Ah the pleasures of being old - getting to chat with each other about all your current medical ailments and treatments - kill me now - no, on second thought, keep me alive - 'stayin' alive, stayin' alii - a - a - ii - aa - a - iive !'
It’s not about “to-do” it’s about “get-to” and experiencing joy, fulfillment, and purpose in our daily lives. I am in my mid-60’s and took up ceramics, throwing porcelain bowls on a wheel, about a year ago. I have never felt so fulfilled creatively in my entire life. I have new friends, all considerably younger than me, and I adore them all. Adore them! I am exercising parts of my brain and body (your upper body gets a real workout with ceramics) that needed some action and I feel great that I “get-to” participate in this amazing work! It was never part of any “to-do” list. It was about staying engaged in life and all it has to offer, for as long as possible. It’s all a gift.
34
M thought exactly. Have always wondered about the pursuit of happiness. What is it? To me, past 65, contemplating retirement in a few months, happiness is every mundane task completed- leaves raked, a report completed at work, the dishwasher loaded, a phone call or email from a child or a friend. Happiness is all around, I do not need to seek it. I just have to open my heart and mind to it.
139
Thank you for that!
1
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
3
Life is a process that converts time into experiences. The question is did we live a good life?
17
I am a approaching eighty in reasonable good health as is my wife.
We do not have a to do list for we did so much when we could when we were younger.
Now each day that we are alive is a gift to be squandered in taking a mid day nap, watching series on Netflix or Prime and now HBz, reading, cooking and drinking.
I am learning to accept the quantum world, black holes and the promise of understanding our DNA. and my wife's expertise at crosswords,vocabularly, history and literature increases by the day.
153
I too am fast approaching 80, as of next year. My wife and I, over 30 years ago decided to drop city pretenses and head for the deep north woods, which we did in new careers, and now live in pretty pristine woods, small semi-lap old wooden log cabin just off the bay shore of Lake Superior, where we literally are on our own doing what really counts to us, after earlier years of traveling, working, etc......minding our wild animals, walking the woods, enjoying the clear clean air, and just chilling out when we want with a good book, crossword or some 'decent' tv and still able to surf the net and keep in touch with our old telephone land line. Quiet and fully contented!
8
In the movie Platoon, a movie filled with baby boomer characters, there’s one line that always stood out to me:
“you gotta be rich in the first place to think like that”
22
My parent's generation may be referred to as the "Greatest Generation", but I think the Boomers, their offspring, were lucky enough to take some of their best ideas and bring them to fruition. In the early '50s we had prop airliners....then Jet liners. Next thing you know we're on the moon. I saw computers go from being a monster that filled a huge room to one you can hold in your hand or strap to your wrist. My mom's dishwasher was ME, now our homes virtually run themselves. There will always be terrible problems to overcome and inequities in every generation because humans are less than perfect creatures, but I'll never forget how I felt when I saw the first satellite move overhead in the night sky as a kid. We have seen some horror, yes, but we have also seen some amazing things that make me feel pretty lucky I was born as a Boomer.
95
Hey Boomers. This is gen x, your kids speaking. Sure, go ahead and do nothing and rest now you broke our political system, ran up massive national debt, ruined the climate and broke trust.
Us? Running for political office, raising young children in our 40s, managing through housing and student loan crises, jobs with responsibility, plus elders and kids and husbands who need help.
I do see value in being not just doing. But our lives at the age you are now will be drastically different due to our responsibilities.
30
Dear Baby, spare me your spoiled X-er tantrum.
So glad you think you're the only ones with responsibilities, who are being politically active, caring for kids and elders simultaneously, and husbands if you're lucky enough to have one. My mom did all that, worked when none of the other mothers did, raised organic food when people (me included) ridiculed her for it, and took care of her and her husband's elders. I took care of my special needs child as a single working mother. When my mother suffered a stroke I took care of her for three years and never stopped being a mom, and will take care of my son for the rest of my life if I'm able. I worked hard and saved prudently and even though my prolonged "childcare" precludes doing nothing, I can take to heart some of the thoughts expressed in this article and make new goals for myself, even as I plan for my son's future without me. I suspect your parents had some of the same responsibilities your feel are uniquely yours. I hope you're more appreciative of them than what you've expressed here.
Just as our generation suffered the loss of two Kennedys and Martin Luther King, your generation has and will have its own traumas. It's not easy -- I wish you luck, plus a little appreciation for those that came before you.
84
"boomerang" you make it sound like previous generations did not work and raise families just as you are doing? Seriously? Sorry but your comment sounds narcissistic and is definitely historically revisionist. The WHOLE WORLD is grappling with the same human problems as always and as one gets older one gets a bit more objectivity about that.
46
Hi, millennial here.
Everything Boomerang Baby said is spot on. Yeah, everyone has their hardships, but your generation is rather unique in that it has gone out of its way to dismantle the institutions that got you the standard of living you enjoy, who have deliberately blown up society for short term gains knowing you'd never have to pay for it, and have otherwise demonstrated a shocking and outrageous lack of stewardship to the extent that it will take several generations to pick up the pieces, if in fact our civilisation and way of life recover at all. History will not be kind to you. You will not be remembered fondly, nor missed.
I love this article even though I don't have the slightest intent of taking its advice. The to-do list only grows.
6
Your father had a "third" life. Mine died of cancer at 61. My sister (born in 1954) also died from cancer at 51. I am in my 70th year, born in 1948, retired from my "day" job, but not from life. I worked tirelessly against the Vietnam war while working two jobs and going to college at night. My parents had no money, so I had to get a job and put myself through school. I took my vacation days off from work to march against the war,was involved in the Civil Rights movement. I am angry when millennials tell me it's "my fault" that the world is in the shape it's in. My friends and I were at the first Earth Day celebration in 1970, and we've been recycling and working on environmental concerns since then. Imagine if more people had done that! With that said, however, my two children do have massive college loans (I worked in not-for-profits for my whole life). In retirement, I sleep late some days, exercise, play tennis, have a one-day part-time job, volunteer to read in an inner-city school, and have just published a novel. This is a much shorter "to-do" list than when I worked a 60-70-hour-per-week full-time job. Yes, I'm blowing my own horn, as well as that of some of my friends (one of whom is climbing Anna Purna this week). Did we have it "easy," vis-a-vis job opportunities? I surely didn't. Where my husband went to school (Boston College), they didn't allow women to enroll in any schools except nursing and education until 1970. We faced sexism in the workplace as well.
222
Right on!
6
Impressive and inspirational.
3
I've just finished reading the comments to date--all 15 of them--and am struck by the amount of inter-generational envy in some have expressed.
Nobody gets to choose when they're born. I'm also class of '46 by 3 days, just in time to get my WWII dad studying on the GI Bill his tax deduction for the year.
Yeah we can argue over who had it better, but again that presupposes we had a choice of parents, states, genes, siblings, timing.
When I get depressed over my recent limitations--chronic pain from bad bones and a serious accident I was lucky to survive--I try to remember all those my age or younger who've already gone or never had a shot at life beyond 30.
The fallen in Vietnam, early deaths from cancer and disease not yet cured, being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Stuff like that gives me perspective. And, I'd like to think, some acceptance that no matter how bad I think I have it, so many have it far worse.
531
Exactly, Christine. That gives me more reason to embrace what life I have left. I don't want to slow down. I want a to-do list until I'm "on the Other Side." My brilliant and vibrant husband has advanced PD. It is heart breaking to watch him become a prisoner of his own body. But by darn, our kids and I make sure his mind at least maintains a quality he (and we) are use to. Always keep going...
26
As a fellow baby boomer, whenever I was having a pity-party as a child, my mom always said, "Look around. There is always someone worse off than you." And there was.
As the mother of a millennial, who is doing pretty well, but spouts the millennial "You had it so much easier..." l have often said, "You have never seen real poverty." I grew up with it in rural New England and it gave me a real-life perspective and gratitude.
My mom was right. Count your blessings and, yes, let's remind our children to do the same!
30
If you're referring to the generations that come after, that's not envy. It's disgust.
4
We are easy to make fun of, no question about that. However, many of us were raised under the shadow of Vietnam, Nixon, and nuclear apocalypse. There is little to be accomplished by citing those victories, but please allow us to show a little pride for whatever difference we might have made.
113
Well said, and the environmental movement, and...
2
My to-do list just got a lot shorter and I feel better already. Thank you, Ms. Hampl.
27
So glad your generation is waxing philosophical about loafing. As for Generation X that followed you, we are stuck cleaning up your mess: The environment, wealth inequality, and a dysfunctional federal government that is the end product of decades of one group of boomers refusing to compromise with another.
And then there is the $1.5 Trillion student loan mess that mostly Generation X and the Millennials after us are stuck with for life. Non-dischargeable - unlike any other consumer debt including gambling debt and even back taxes - in no small part due to legislation signed into law by boomer Bill Clinton.
Enjoy your loafing. We're going to clean up your mess.
194
Relax a little... be glad that you don't have to face the draft for a war like the Vietnam War, be glad that many of the Civil Rights battles have fought, be glad that many of the Title 9 provisions have become the norm, be glad that energy is plentiful and fairly cheap, be glad that the environmental movement has cleared the air and water in most areas, be glad that WW-III has been postponed indefinitely and be glad that some of us had a few children.
Yeah, there's plenty to do (there always is) and many of the reforms of the 60's achieved after BITS (blood in the streets) have been retracted so much of the "clean up" will be a repeat of the 60's. Note that there are about 4 Billion more humans on the planet now which makes it much more of a challenge.
239
To me the defining moments where we changed from a society where we cared for community and living for a better tomorrow for all was 1981, when we changed the tax code favoring capital over labor.
That wasn't the boomers, that was before us.
104
Couldn't disagree more. Read my comment above.
4
As a boomer who is coming late to his retirement I recently talked with a member of Green Cross and found out I might be able to do some volunteer work at Chernobyl. I won't be doing anything hectically but hope to do something to improve the quality of life for the future generations . Everywhere!
20
Oh, No--I'm also a 1946 oldest Boomer. But the to-do list remains vibrant and exciting. We Boomers are still changing the world. Personally, I'm working full tilt for change on November 6th.
478
I am a mere pup born in 1947 and most of the folks I know of this age are all out to turn the political situation in this country around.
137
The people who voted for Trump were Boomers too -- in fact they put him in office.
I’m a later born boomer arriving in 1960. While I enjoy my garden and the occasional absent-minded reverie, my to do list isn’t finished until we stop the systematic dismantling of all that’s good about our country. #resist
9
I can't relate to this. My 93 year old father was going on international Habitat for Humanity projects inAfrica when he was in his 80s. He has been widowed twice, and his 3rd wife of 20-some years now has fast advancing dementia, so my dad does all the cooking. Etc. He tells me longingly that he wishes he could join me as I travel to Cuba, Japan and other places.
His motto: I would rather bust than rust.
352
the author takes down the notion that rusting is bad
1
Jean, Either you have great genes, or your father is very hard on his wives.
10
Jean, I can relate to your comment. Neither "loafing" nor loving the whirl should be viewed as character flaws. We are all individuals and some like one option better than the other. It's not a competition. Good for dad! I, too, would rather bust than rust.
9
You were part of the baby boom that did well. You got decent jobs, decent pay, a better standard of living than your parents. Those of us born later, after 1954, haven't done so well. We got, quite literally, the short end of everything. By the time we were in school society was tired of us. When we were teens we faced a world that had lived through a gas shortage, assassinations, Watergate, riots in major cities, and it didn't get better when we entered the work world.
We couldn't find decent jobs or we did but they were eliminated. The cost of living increased much faster than our salaries. We worked hard but it wasn't enough: some of us have lived through multiple bouts of long term unemployment, exhausted our savings, been homeless, gone without needed medical care, etc. None of this was on our to-do list. And you know what else isn't on our to-do list: retirement.
So, to reiterate, the first 5-8 years of the baby boom generation did pretty well for themselves. The rest of us, not so much. And the worst part of all is that succeeding generations aren't doing better either because pensions have been eliminated, there isn't enough affordable housing, jobs aren't plentiful, and things aren't improving. You may have done well but we weren't even given a chance. We weren't even on the radar. Why? Because the first wave of baby boomers crowded every one else out.
134
I was born the same year, as were many of my friends, and we found good jobs and are comfy in retirement. Your generalization about your cohort is only that.
52
"the first wave of baby boomers crowded every one else out."
Actually, at least for the women, we were banged up opening up doors for our younger sisters.
A friend who later graduated Summa Cum Laude was asked at her med school interview why they should give the spot to her since she was just going to drop out and marry a doctor
(she's still working long hours as a doctor at 72).
(When she first told me she was planning to go to med school, I asked, "can you do that?" meaning--do they let you?).
I have tons of stories like that, of being the only woman in a class, of being told you can't do X, of being told (in spite of an A average) that calculus would be too hard by an advisor who I had to get to sign my course list.....
The problem was not solved for women born in 1954, (nor is it solved today), but by then law school and med schools at least were admitting many more women.
187
In 1946 America had 75% of the worlds GNP. Only the lucky among us who grew up in this era experienced great prosperity. By the 1970's the world rebuilt and levelled the playing field. Now the USA still has a disproportionate amount of the worlds wealth but has a mindset that wants to believe things should be as they were "back then". So if all the manufacturing countries were to become devastated as after WW2 this fantasy could return. This may have something to do with the wealthy trying to grab hold of as much as they possibly can. They are under no such illusion.
27
Oh, I had plenty of things left on my to-do list. But my body has crossed most of them off as infeasible. So I got a new list.
277
Thanks hear you. I am trying to fight thru the shock and depression of all my aging athlete’s body is nixing due to PAIN, not life/ threatening just MY favorite kind of life- prohibiting. But yes, making sure t hat new list is what i am striving to focus on, it is hard but grateful to have some, if not first-choices! Good luck to us both !
20
Agree with Dana, some things are crossed off by the aging process, and this leaves room for others. It's all good. Still above-ground!
53
Volunteer! Your local library, hospital, church, community center, elderly neighbor who needs a ride are all waiting for you.
1
All well and fine , but what if you're needing to work to survive at 65 ? The article has merit from a philosophical point of view, But unless you're privileged or well off, its not realistic in the age of Trump Paul Ryan and the GOP. Where they're trying to throw seniors under the bus, by cutting SS , medicare ,Obamacare etc.
388
"Majestic Indolence"
... his life of hope
And hazard, and hard labour interchanged
With that majestic indolence so dear
To native man.
Wordsworth, The Prelude, bk 8, 11. 387-90
21
The GOP are not the only ones itching to throw seniors under the bus.
9
The 1 percenters (changed by autocorrect to “preventers”) should LOVE Social Security: “Give the masses their crumbs and leave me alone so that I can go off and spend my $s and the balance of the federal budget largesse on my own toys.” That’s what Speaker Ryan and his rabid hoarders of the Republican deficits should be saying—the hypocrites who bellow about a debt ceiling then blast a $Trillion dollar hole through it. You’d think they would never fantasize about ending Soc Sec.
14