A Brit listening to Country (and Western, if you can recall that reference) song on the Hindu Kush Mountains, very adventurous of you. I suppose if anyone attempted it today they would be hung by their toes over a fire before the head gets chopped off. The Taliban and the assorted other even more repressive peoples fervently believe any form of culture is unforgivable.
Congratulations on the driver's license. 62 is the new, can I say 32? No, ok 42...
4
The account of young Roger's and old Roger's driving experiences is delightful. And the parallel between Stanley Kowalski and our president is quite striking. But wedging the latter into the former? Perhaps the most contrived effort I've read in years.
2
The little boys here drive 80 on a street that's clearly marked 35 and of course they follow too closely. If I can't read it then it doesn't apply to me. The back badge says "4matic" or something else that's a kool marketing tool. (Think BMW or Audi or Mercedes-Benz or Cadillac or Lincoln - and sure, you can go forward in snow or faster than anyone else but you can't stop any faster!) And naturally the salesperson in the showroom won't tell you that. Brembo brakes or not. Is that kool or kultural or what? Of course it's only fake blood (movies and popular kultur again and if I see it on TV or the 'net or on my phone it's got to be true!) but my father was killed in a car crash and I'm way past 62 and at this advanced age I'm sort of leery about cars and too fast drivers. It's perhaps time to say or write something different. Driving cars can be dangerous to one's life and health... and of course there's the carbon footprint to think of...
2
Well you beat me ... sort of. I got a license to drive, for the first time, this year, several years younger than you but three times the age of the others visiting the Motor Vehicle Administration for their permits and tests.
While I did not have the specific translation issues that you describe, there is some sense in which driving is like moving in a different language. For places in walking distance, walking allows for various shortcuts, conveniences, multiple stops and multitasking. One has plenty of time to see the route and it is easy to ask along the way. When driving one has to plan to forgo those conveniences, take different routes, take care not to pass the destination or miss a turn and have to turn around, deal with one way streets, allow time for parking rather than walking right up to the door ...
4
The things we do for our kids!If they say "Drive" we must drive whether we enjoy it or not.I figure that after chauffeuring four children I have driven the equivalent of crossing the US at least a dozen times-not as exciting as London to Kabul in Pigpen!
1
Congratulations Roger, but this is one Staten Islander who loathes ("genius") Donald Trump. Nevertheless, I'm glad such a world traveler like yourself selected Staten Island to take your driver's test....and passed!
3
This article alone is worth this month's NYT subscription fee. Roger Cohen lived more by the age of 17 than I have in my entire life.
4
Congratulations, Roger. Please stay to the right!
8
Brilliant!
2
Mazel Tov!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2
Jolly good, Roger Cohen. Jolly good.
4
You are lucky to pass. Despite your Oxford degree and adventure in Afghanistan, you should still know how to communicate with an average guy on Staten Island.
great column
Why is this essay accompanied by a photo of a young(er) person of color holding the steering wheel? What does it have to do with an old(er) white guy getting his license?
2
Nothing here...It's a stock photo they get super cheap so they don't have to waste money taking Roger's picture.
2
Give yourself some credit Roger. Your Staten Island driving tester would probably have a lot of trouble driving a stick shift VW Kombi (with a British steering wheel and gear shift on the ‘wrong’ side) in Europe where they drive on the right. You seem to have accomplished that without any trouble. Bravo. All you have to do now is learn to be as rude as NY drivers and you’ll be fine.
1
Oh thank you for Stanley. The similarities are staggering.
1
Driving examiner, surely, not “instructor”.
Having a driver license means little in and itself. I have one but am a terrible driver. Why? Because I live in NYC and therefore never got a chance to practice, because you don’t need a car here. It’s practice that makes perfect!
1
Roger: As they say "timing is everything" and this column is perfect for giving all of us who are nearly exhausted with this administration that if we did not have a chance to read some lighter fare we would all likely go berserk and head for the nearest bridge not to drive over but to leap from. If the majority in this country do not soon get a long reprieve from the everyday onslaught on the conscience and values that really hold this country together we might as well fold up our tents, and streets to drive on, because no one will give a tinkers dam about anything in this country anymore.
5
My mother was a wonderfully loving person. But we knew the DMV was more concerned with fees than safety after giving my mother a driver's license. Her third try.
Whenever she arrived home from swimming at the Jewish Center we’d check for traumatically folded passenger side mirrors or any new-car colors along the sides or bumper.
“They keep parking too far into the road.”
It wasn’t long before she was unable to negotiate reverse without endangering anything or anyone in her path. The day she “mixed up” the gas and brake sending the car careering over the terrace and into a parked car was the day we confiscated the keys.
1
Driving in a foreign language is usually a killer. Congratulations, Roger; you killed the test. You done real good! Now, for the real challenge. Try driving in Boston.
2
Congrats Roger never to late to learn new things, I took up hang gliding at 55 still time for you to join me in sky.
1
Dear Roger,
I thougherly enjoyed your article especially your driving test. We had moved from Kentucky. to New Jersey, & had to pass a written Test,based on a booklet , from the New Jersey Department of Motor Vehicles, my wife & I have been driving since we were 17, & did not feel it was necessary to read the booklet, & we failed the Test.Who knew that if you had driven off a bridge & was heading into the ocean, you had to open your car windows. I assumed the first thing you did was to yell, God help me.The other problem we had was our marriage License,, my wife brought our Katuba, which is a Jewish certificate proclaiming our marriage written in Hebrew, which we gleefully gave to the Irish inspector, who looked at us as though we were terrorists. We passed the exam after reading & memorizing the Booklet & received our licenses. I never want to go through this again, so I’m stuck in New Jersey.
4
Too funny, and thank you! By the way, if you move to Florida, which most people from New Jersey do, you don't even have to take the test again! As long as your NJ license is valid, they just switch it over to a Florida license and off you go. Of course, you will be in the soup anyway because now you are driving around with millions of New Yorkers who never got a license until they moved to Florida at age sixty-something, and now all drive the largest Caddys they can get their hands on. Thank God for backup cameras, which were designed, I'm sure, for this population because they never, ever turn their heads to see behind them.
2
Come to Germany and learn the wonderful right of way system known as Rechts vor Links! where small side streets force main street drivers to give way without warning. Adapt to not being allowed to pass on the right on the Autobahn even when being held up by a slow poke in the left lane. Warm to the expectation that every driver is a robot and must be aware of the overly deployed speed limit signs. Revel in the adrenaline surge you feel as the car behind the truck in the right lane signals once, then without looking, moves to pass, cutting you off as you brake hard to avoid a rear-end collision. And finally, become adept at spotting the camouflaged speed cameras waiting to "Blitz" you!
2
re: "Pigpen"
We are everywhere.
2
You have to be honest with yourself, and your readers! Okay, you've passed the driving test, but now will you drive? My nearest and dearest took years to pass, and then, a month after passing called up her driving instructor and went out once more. She has never sat in a driver's seat since then, and I have been her chauffer ever since.
Make sure to keep your politics out of your driving. In America, EVERYONE drives right of center.
Nice story, and congrats, but we pretty much let any sentient being drive in this country. You will soon learn that there are barely engaged folks from all walks of life attempting to kill you out there. All of the dangers that you have faced in your illustrious career will fade away as you confront the smart phone addled drivers of America. At least you will be in a nice, safe vehicle this time. I recommend against another vw van.
Stay safe.
1
Thank you for this column this morning. It made me smile and feel empathy for you at the same time. I always enjoy your writing and somehow, this was just perfect today.
Your adventures in Pigpen were quite amazing. Something that fearless young men could do with no thoughts of what evil could befall them. Pretty brave! I'm sure your parents were relieved when you returned to start college at Oxford.
I hope your driving will be a pleasure and not necessary for an escape, but every day seems to make it more likely.
1
I lived and drove in England 30 years ago. Every morning I would wake-up and say: this is my right hand, this is my left hand, bear left. I go back frequently. In fact, I leave Monday. The front half of your article gave me a laugh and the encouragement....when in doubt bear left
4
I'm impressed by your youthful experiences, Mr. Cohen, but not sure why you think a 62 year old is too old to learn anything. At 70, five years after retiring from my corporate career, I got my Commercial Drivers License, and now drive a municipal 40 foot bus in my home town part time. And yes, during the practical test, we had to parallel park the bus! Many of our drivers are retirees - and female like me. Learning a new skill past 60 isn't such a big deal...that kind of ageist thinking is more typical of the Stanley Kowalski in the White House...
2
Roger, man why ever drive again when you've already made the greatest road trip of all time: London to Kabul overland!
OK Roger, you at the very least owe us, your dear readers, a Memoir after this: "I’d last taken a driving test 45 years earlier in north London, at the age of 17. With a license, and little else, I promptly drove from the British capital to Kabul, across Europe, Turkey and the Shah’s Iran, at the wheel of a VW Kombi named “Pigpen” after the organist and vocalist of the Grateful Dead who’d died that year."
1
Roger, you'll be driving long after Trump is gone.
He, an entire long chapter in American history classes taking up the topic of corruption in the presidency. An incredulous but true look at the biggest hustler, anti-American traitor and sleezer to ever, somehow, hold the office.
You, a brilliant anti-Trump, the embodiment of everything civilized, intelligent and humane.
He'll be driven from our sight, living out his wretched days in perpetual ignominy.
You'll just be driving.
You passed!
And, so will we all.
3
Congratulations! Here's to the adventures in driving in your future!
1
First, it was "Set The Controls for the Heart of the Sun." Now, it's "White LIne Fever" and mention of the Grateful Dead's Pigpen (Ron McKernan).
This Cohen guy may make something of himself yet.
2
I took my high school driver's ed lessons in Houston when the speed limit was 75 on the freeway. For Texans this has generally signified ; " up to 95 is fine".
The driver's ed teacher had me drive a couple of blocks up the street to the Katy freeway-known to this day as " The Beast". He said: " Get on the freeway". I protested that I had never driven a car at all, anywhere ,ever prior to that day. He repeated the order. I'd read the book and understood merging as a concept. Somehow I was able to do it. He instructed me to get up to speed and then to pass " that semi." I drove fast enough to pass it (very fast) watched in my mirror, signaled and pulled in front of it. He began screaming : " I didn't tell you to pull in front of it; just to pass it!" I responded : " Well what's the point of passing it if you are not going to get in front of it ?" He angrily ordered me off the freeway and clearly he was shaken up. I think back on it and am astonished that he felt empowered to take me on such a risky venture. I've driven cross country N to S and E to W, border to border many times since then . It is essential in my part of the world. I've driven in Boston and N Y City , L.A. as well. Still I realize that what happened the first time was foolish and dangerous for anyone in my path that day as well as for him and for me. I practice gratitude about many things.
1
During the days when they actually offered driver's ed in high school, and provided both the instructor and the vehicle, it was my turn at the wheel while my three classmates sat in the back seat. As I drove down the center lane of a three-lane, one-way highway, imagine my shock when the "instructor" reached over, grabbed the wheel and turned it in the direction of the approaching mini-mart, cutting off the driver behind me! He never apologized or even tried to make excuses, so I can only assume that this is how he drove on a regular basis.
Then, when I went for my test not long after that, the examiner didn't grab the wheel from me, but did instruct me to drive to the nearest mini-mart so he could get a pack of cigarettes!
Another comment was correct in stating that nearly anyone can get a driver's license in this country.
2
Roger, don't be surprised if, at 62, you suddenly get a strong urge to find and restore Pigpen. This happens to men at about this age, even when the romance was in the back seat of a Dart in the anonymous suburbs. You have a much more dramatic bunch of memories to savor.
Assuming that you're urban and ignorant of the fever for youth's iron, ask around. We have a very large network to help you in this quest. Somebody you may even think a colleague has a Hemmings in their desk drawer.
1
Roger........The most dangerous drivers here in France are the visitors or transplants from England who forget to drive on the right side and cause head on collisions. Stay on the right Roger.
One commenter is tired hearing Trump slams and another wants a president who he can look up to like a father figure.
We all want something!
1
"Thanks, Eddie; thanks to the kindness of strangers in America."
Take a slow road trip across the country. Maybe you'll discover a little Charles Kuralt in you? Why not?
2
I just don't see how you managed to pass the test.
... now, I've gotta stay off the roads.
1
Mr. Cohen, if you’re planning to drive across America, think about avoiding freeways when you can. You’ll see more and meet more people. I refer you to “Blue Highways” by Wm. Least Heat Moon. Beyond that, I have this advice: Never trust other drivers to do the right thing. Keep your cool when you encounter a fool in another car. Stay off the cell phone. Watch out for deer leaping in front of your car, though that might not be a problem in NYC.
Mr.Cohen bravo sir, l know you were driving before but take the test , l am 83 years old and l started driving in Turkey so l am sure you know what l am saying, it is like night and day difference , there signs means nothing, any way it is a very colorful subject for us because god knows it we need writing like this in our world take care
I always appreciate and respect your writings, Mr Cohen -- the intelligence, worldliness, and variety. This piece was charming and funny yet with duel-edged sharp political and cultural points. How apt the comparisons of Trump to Stanley and the admonitions of Blanche. Are we headed to a similarly tragic scene of Trump on his knees screaming out for forgiveness? But when and to whom? The suspense is killing me!
Congratulations Roger, on passing this formative American milestone. Next time I visit pigpen's final resting place I will let him know. It's time to climb behind the wheel of 'The Bus'. Oh, we drive on the right here.
Ah, Roger, I thought you were going elsewhere on this verbal drive.
All this to drive a car? Imagine how much easier it would have been to buy an AR-15!
2
This is what happens when you accompany a Syrian refugee woman to the Department of Motor Vehicles in Arizona:
The tester will call you over to the test area and declare that it is impossible for the woman to be tested, because she is unable to understand basic commands. The tester will say, “I told her to turn on her left blinker, and she just stared at me.”
When you explain that the DMV website refers to turn signals as “turn signals,” and that the woman knows all of the commands listed at the DMV website, including “Turn left at the next traffic light,” the tester will say, “We never say traffic light, we say stop light.”
When you tell the tester that you have a dictionary of the English language that is six inches thick, but you’ve concentrated your training efforts on the commands listed at the DMV website, the tester will say, “Sir, do not cross that line. You must stay on the far side of the line.”
And when the woman and the tester return to the DMV at the conclusion of the test, and the woman exits the car with a billboard smile on her face, you will smile, too, and you will do so through tears, which tears are not for the woman, who cannot care for her family or earn a living without a driver license. The tears are for you, lucky enough to live in a country where unsophisticated bureaucrats exist, but where citizens can confront them, challenge them to perform their duties, and help in a very small way to fulfill the promise of liberty and justice for all.
6
But, Blanche succumbed to his wilds. Will you?
Just imagine Trump actually driving. The horror.
1
Great column! In 2004 in Capitola, CA, I had 3 driving lessons and I mentioned to the instructor that I had only driven a ‘manual’ before. I’d never heard the term Stick shift. I’d already confused my American mother in law by telling her how we’d seen an exceptionally good film and that we’d been lucky to find a space in the multi storey car park!
I’ve been an American citizen for 10 years, and now back in Blighty I find that I prefer to say, trunk, shopping cart etc. My favorite word is: ped Zing: pedestrian crossing!
A splendid story, particularly Mr. Cohen's affection for Pigpen, who passed away 8 March 1973, nearly 45 years ago. The Grateful Dead were never the same without his rave-up talents and greasy blues.
When the gentleman who oversaw my driving test told me I'd passed, I was all smiles. Success! He put the kabosh on that: "Don't kill anyone," he said with a flat intonation, indicating that he thought it likely.
I have no idea what this article is about or why it was even in the NY Times. So Roger passed his driving tests and shares some memories which then brings us back to his distaste for Trump? And then on to Tennessee William's (the sick guy went to my high school, U. City High)?
Is this a case of ADHD or Scotch?
Once you get out there you may wish you never did. There is nothing that shows the stupidity and selfishness of Americans, ( and I suppose everyone ) more then driving in urban areas. Plus the fact that I curse and turn into a total nut case out on the road at least half the time. So good luck and try to keep cool. And put that phone down.
I can imagine your being quite the lad at Oxford with Pigpen. I'm sure that there were those among the well-healed, titled set who were your peers who fell hook, line, and sinker for that brand of charm. Please write a memoire of your life with Pigpen. I'll pre-order it.
I continue to marvel at Mr. Cohen's naturalization. He does not seem to care for America or its plural federalist organization very much at all. He would be so much happier in his native land with its mass democratic, highly centralized sociast government.
Was it really necessary to denigrate Trump/Fox fans in a piece like this?
2
Always, anytime.
2
One of the funniest columns Ever in the Times.
Brilliant!
Fine first step. But wait until a day comes when you're feeling slightly deranged. Then you'll be ready to drive in Manhattan.
I see no reason to celebrate one more motor vehicle driver to choke our planet, clog our public roads, delay buses, and menace cyclists and pedestrians. Are there no bicycles in Staten Island?
This essay was delightful.
That's the longest setup to a literary exhibition slash trump bash that I've seen in almost forever!
Loved it!
1
Born in Manhattan; desperate to move to the country since I was a child, but driving scared me. I finally took lessons at age 47, and teeter tottered off to Vermont at age 50. My first winter there was more than 100 inches of snow, and my job was as a visiting nurse which involved lots of driving. I'm now 75 and enjoy being on the road. Congratulations to you, and enjoy your driving time as well!
4
THE most crucial difference between US and YOU guys you didn't mention.
Driving on the right as opposed to the left.
G.B. Shaw may have thought that England and America are two countries divided by the same language, but I think it's the side of the road we choose to drive on that will forever keep us apart.
Never mind driving, when I'm in London I can't cross the street (I mean road) without looking every which way and running for my life.
Also, I'm surprised your test was only in the leafy suburbs and not on a dual carriageway, or motorway as well.
4
The good side of starting to drive at 60 or older is that you can decline giving rides to neighbors, on account of your "lack of experience". I am 83, started driving at 60, the year my husband died, and (honestly!) do not feel up to giving rides to my neighbor (same age). Others, more friendly, used to drive her whenever she asked; unfortunately, one died, the other has on-and-off feet problems that prevent him from driving, and the third one is mostly "otherwise engaged". Note that the township has a very efficient and inexpensive shuttle service for seniors and the disabled, but obviously that is not as convenient as taking advantage of a neighbor.
1
I drove my Land Rover east to west across Afghanistan in 1975. Nice as pie, sort of, in those days. Sold the car in Paris.
2
"Thanks, Eddie; thanks to the kindness of strangers in America."
Don't overthink it: passing you was also the easiest way for Eddie not to have to deal with you anymore.
Aside from many other pieces of obvious advice, wear your seat belt and come to a full stop at stop signs. Sooner or later, cops will get you for those things.
You're not going to drive in NYC. Take a road trip across the country. That will be a good first test of your driving mettle. Make sure you check the weather and road conditions/construction. Maybe you'll discover a little Charles Kuralt in you? Might be worth a try.
6
I spent a few decades driving part time for a living with few incidents. I have two suggestions for you: First, never forget that an error can cost you or someone else their life. Second, pick up a copy of Ken Purdy's out of print book "Driving and Young People." It's a short concise book that does for driving what Strunk & White's "Elements of Style" does for writing. Purdy's book is out of print, but there are currently a few used copies on Amazon. If you deal regularly with a publisher, you might want to hint Purdy's book should still be in print.
"Driving and Young People": how about a book on "Driving and Old People". At what age should we give up? I am 83. Currently, I limit myself to Target and the grocery store, and only in the morning, after 9:30. Also, about twice a year, nine miles to go to the dentist and back.
2
People are objecting to the insertion of a passing reference to the President/Fox news/lightly trafficked streets of Staten Island.
Every single day we are bombarded with crises (n.b. plural)and threats to our security; financial, societal, mental, and physical health from said President. He and his issues are seeping into our every transaction, thought, and movement.
A huge percentage of the U. S. population does not sleep well at night. And this is a good example. I didn't miss a beat reading it.
4
Congratulations! As a 62 year old, I empathize with the neck spasms incident! Ha! Love the Streetcar quote except that it's Stanley who "wins" in the end, and with Brando forever "being" that character (esp. for 62 year olds), nothing Blanche could say will ever diminish his "heat" on screen. Who cares if he's apelike? Plus, he can fix a car engine (handy during cross-continent trips in a VW). Trump, on the other hand...who would ever want to crawl in next to that??
2
I learned to drive in the sixties when cars with stick shifts were common, but I still freeze up a little remembering how awful it was having to wait at a stop sign near my house in a line of cars going up hill - stalling, panicking, and stalling again. I was very glad a few years later to switch to automatics.
Now, a hundred years later, I've noticed my children and a number of their friends now prefer stick shifts, in spite of commuting. Can't understand it. Occasionally I have had to drive one of their cars for some reason or other and had to put up with winces, groans, and eye rolling at my atrophied skills. I wouldn't switch back for anything.
Apropos of the above, I long ago read some mystery or crime novel where in a group of gangsters were stymied when their getaway car turned out to be a stick shift. None of them had ever learned to drive anything but big black automatic Cadillac style vehicles.
1
Oh Lordy, that was a good, MOST WELCOME LAUGH... which I greatly needed in this dark world of Trumpism. Thank you!
Why? Shouldn't 62 be recognized as the beginning of a time of reflection and hope for the future? Walk? Bike? Public transit? As a globe-trotter, Mr. Cohen, isn't it time to plant daffodils or smell prairie? Haven't you seen enough yet? Why a car? You were told it's important/cool/necessary/helpful (say, in an emergency)? Need it for work?
If it is to prove something to yourself, okay, just don't hit me while I cross the street, totally aware and iphone lazily at home where it belongs. Personally? I like flying airplanes. I seem to disagree with you this time.
/s/
... former driver.
I went through a somewhat similar "learning experience" this week, also at age 62, trying out TRX, a set of exercises using cables hanging from the ceiling. I couldn't really fully blame it on the age, as the others in class were of that range, too, but some of the same factors were at play, although not the pressure of immediate English to American English conversion. A lot to process when your brain desires one small new fact a a time, which is particularly difficult when you're emotionally charged. In my case, the class lay-out made it difficult to hear and see the instructor, a learning-killer when there are so many moving parts (both TRX and my limbs). Having come to understand my idiosyncratic and not recommended learning style, one of the compensations and even sometimes joys of growing older, I could understand the failure. But you know, it's important to try these things in one's 60's. One has realized failures aren't necessarily so terrible; limited successes even less so. You know, like Roger's brilliance as an international affairs journalist, you've succeeded at other things. And while I don't know what it will be yet, I'm pretty sure there will be benefits to TRX-flunk-out down the road. Maybe it will help me figure out a new angle on some problem. It has happened before.
1
Mr. Cohen,
I started a graduate program in history and nonfiction writing when I was seventy, and I now write and publish my articles on regional history. Age is whatever it is ... I just keep following my heart ...
I never miss your column, hope you keep writing forever.
Saba
3
I flunked my first driving test in '63, at age 16, in Waterloo, IA. I was upset with my father for having traded in his '57 Chevy Bel-Air, 283 V-8, 4-bbl carb (even if it was a 4-dr sedan and not a 2-dr hardtop) for a '63 VW bus (the 21-window, top-of-the-line-including-canvas-folding-sunroof and every bit as desirable a collector car as the Chevy today, but before the hippie revolution that I heartily embraced a few years later), so I had my best friend drive me to the courthouse to take the driving test in Dad's '52 Chevy 2-dr sedan. The car he used when he went hunting or fishing on Saturdays. The one with paint so oxidized if you brushed against it the grayish-green color transferred to be permanently embedded in your clothes or skin. It had no turn signals (indicators?) so one indicated turn directions by rolling down the window and sticking the left arm out the window -- straight our for left, elbow crooked and forearm vertically up for right...and vertically down for stop. Did I mention this was in January...in Iowa...before global warming? I flunked on the parallel parking. Three tries was two too many.
Two weeks later Dad took me downtown for a second try, in the VW. I passed with flying colors. And drove the Chevy from then on.
Congrats Roger Cohen. My paternal grandmother first drove at around the same age--in Brooklyn! She'd never had a license before. She was not exactly self confident behind the wheel, but I don't think she had any mishaps.
Why couldn't you have included a photo of Pigpen with this op-ed? That would have been so cool!
1
Mr. Cohen,
I absolutely love it that you manage to give your highly entertaining story of passing your driving test an anti-Trump twist. Very understandable, but not a promising augury for escaping the Land of Trump!
Good luck. anyway, and happy trails!
Roger is of the generation who will move on to a self-driving car well before he loses his proficiency to age.
1
My father learned to fly during WWII before he learned to drive, He went to High School in West Virginia and celebrated his graduation by riding a horse through the school corridors. That was his only means of transportation.
As followed we followed Dad from base to base our beloved Sunday evening ritual was to take a drive. Excellent entertainment for 6 kids and a weary mother. Dad drove like he flew. Instrument only, "blind flying".
Dad was a flight instructor and trained young airmen. Perhaps that is the reason that when I turned 17 and desperately wanted to drive, he began my lessons with an overview of the internal combustion engine. Agony. Then a vehicle inspection. Tires? Check. Turn signal? Check. Oil level? Check. Mirrors? Check. More agony.
The ultimate embarrasment was when he placed orange cones at car lengths apart on our street and began my parallel parking training. The neighborhood kids were delighted and pulled up lawn chairs to enjoy the show.
I passed both Dad's test and the motor vehicle department test. After all, I was an Air Force brat. Failure was not an option.
3
Sandra, I loved your story of the orange cones for parallel parking practice - oh the humiliations our parents put us through! Mine was getting off the plane coming home from my first time away at college and there was my dad with a tripod and camera set up right in front of everyone. However, I have to say your dad had a pretty smart idea - too bad he didn't set up in a vacant parking lot somewhere.
1
Try getting a license in France at the age of 64. The written test alone causes grown men to break down and weep at their fate, and the actual driving test is an exercise in sadism... by the inspector. Mine shouted at me right off the bat, belittled me for not downshifting down a hill, asked in a loud voice why he was being forced to conduct the exam, and then tried to trick me into speeding in a 30kph zone (something less that 19mph).
But there is a thread through the process: they don't want you to kill someone. When you get to the written test, when you get to the driving test, all they're interested in is, Are you going to kill someone? They do a good job.
2
congratulations. but you're not done yet. first, i suggest you try driving in boston. when you've passed that, try france, especially the ronde-points. not to mention all the tail-gating. you've got a whole new vocabulary to learn.
This made me smile. I thought I was a good driver. I've even been doing so for over thirty years. But now that I need to renew my American license for a Mexican one, it seems I do not know how to drive. The test here is simply to parallel park, a thing I did with ease living n NYC for most of my life. But here I am expected to do so without looking at anything other than my rearview mirror. No neck swiveling allowed, no real cars (just cones), and only five moves allowed. I am on my fifth fail.
I last drove in 1982 but I was terrible at it and stopped. I’m waiting for self driving cars!
I believe when you go for a road test in other countries they are more concerned about how you drive rather than park.
Mr. Cohen, are you alright? How an amusing piece on the vagaries of late-middle-age befuddlement morphs into a digression on Blanche duBois' humanity gives me cause for concern. A road trip is definitely in order, I my self have found them to be transformative. Happy travels!
1
I'm more intrigued by how you managed to live in the U.S. for so many years without driving! Surely there must have been some awkward situations where you could've used a license.
2
Entertaining article, and Roger does give the impression that he hasn't driven in this country but he doesn't say so, mainly because the article wouldn't be as much fun and of course, it wouldn't be true.
He only says he hasn't had a license, meaning I am sure an American license.
You don't need an American license to drive if you have a license from somewhere else (there are some caveats I am sure)
I have driven in Britain, Ireland, Spain, France on my US license--and lived to tell the tale.
1
All kidding aside, please keep in mind that you are a more than usually dangerous driver. Driving is largely based on habits. My attention isn't as good as it was when I was 25 (I'm almost 65 now), but my brain has instincts honed by over 10,000 hours of driving. Yours does not.
Please drive very carefully.
2
If you read a Jaguar owners manual of several decades ago, you would find all the British terms like fascia, windscreen, bonnet, boot, petrol etc. Now to those of you with a late 60's XJ sedan, mind both petrol flaps.
Simply wonderful essay, Mr. Cohen. Many thanks. But you should know that, in the words of Bob Mankoff, 60 is not the new 40, and dead is not the new alive.
1
Congratulations? I quite driving in May, at 62. My car was totaled by hail stones the size of limes and I took the opportunity to steal back some youth and freedom. Bicycling.
I bike and train and bike to my job 30 miles away. Bike, or walk for groceries. Bike, or train into the city for dinner, or movie, or museum.
Good luck to you and to all of us who ride a bike.
My late mother hated driving a car. When we moved from Washington Heights to Manhattan in 1953, she didn't drive, but depended on our next-door neighbor (or Dad) to take hr shopping.
One afternoon in 1955 Mom and I came back from shopping to see a strange, new 1955 Ford two-door sedan with a V8 in sea-foam green parked in our driveway. Just then, Dad drove up. "What's that car doing in our driveway?" "It's for YOU!"
So Mom learned to drive, but had to use four-year-old me as a navigator, as I had a good sense of direction (although I had to point rather than say "left" or "right") and memory of where we'd been.
Fast-forward to 1967, when I had a learner's permit and Mom allowed me to drive to Ardsley High School. I was at the wheel, and I remember her stomping on an imaginary brake pedal when I was coasting--and braking--to heed a stop sign.
When she and Dad retired to Florida, Mom stopped driving.
You forgot to tell us that Eddie passed you even though you drove on the left side of the road and used the steering wheel on the right. Loved your interlacing of Streetcar to enhance the humility and humanity of your piece this evening. Thank you.
Congratulations, Roger! You've finally got your driver's license. Just as we enter the age when (supposedly) no one is going to drive cars anymore. But you can keep the license as a souvenir.
I grew up on Staten Island. The first time I took my road test there, I was in a 1964 Renault Dauphine with a push button automatic transmission. I could not proceed on the test because either my headlights didn't work or my back up lights didn't work. Little did I know that the Renault's headlights or backup lights (can't remember which) did not work unless the car was running or something else odd about the Renault. Too long ago to remember the exact oddity of that car. So I sadly went home without even being able to take the test, finding out later that my car was totally operable. The next time I took the test was in our big boat of a family car: a 1967 Pontiac Bonneville Brougham. It was plum with a black vinyl roof. Burled wood interior. I passed. I might note that the road test in those days was in a very hilly part of Staten Island. So God help you if you had a standard transmission. I taught my 3 kids to drive a standard and they all aced their test the first time. Note: Do not take anyone out to teach them to drive a standard on a full stomach. You'll be sorry. Congratulations Mr. Cohen on your new found freedom.
I remember coming back to NYC after a 2-year sojourn in a former British protectorate in southern Africa. I took my first visit to a bank here in NYC and took my place at the back end of a line. I made the mistake of asking the person in front of me if this were the correct place to queue if one wanted to see a teller. That customer looked at me as if I'd just arrived from outer space, not having a clue what a queue might be. English, for American-speakers, can indeed be treacherous! Don't ever let an English person know that you're wearing a fanny-pack!
1
Gotcha all beat. Re-took my driver's license test in Miami, 3 years ago.. at 86.
A big city with great public transportation is an enormous incentive to not needing to know how to drive nor to have a car.
Does anyone know if Donald Trump ever learned how to drive or ever drove a car?
1
Ah, at 18 I failed the driving test in Queens, N.Y. and did not bother to reschedule as I had no money to buy a car. At age 31, living in NJ, I went for my drivers test. At the door was a NJ State Trooper who questioned me after I advised that I moved from Queens. He requested my NY Drivers Licence. I said I din not have a driver's licence. He grilled me and said I cannot hold a licence from 2 states. It took a while to believe me. By the way, even though I had difficulty parking, I passed. The Trooper that administered the test said to me , "you passed, all I get is teen agers and old ladies"; not a PC comment these days!
I am SO glad that the popular comments are mostly about driving, not about Trump.
Ha ha ha. It is funny.
It remained me of a program where tone of the actors propose a movie "it is about noting" (Seinfeld).
Every day in America drivers of Mr. Cohen's ability pass their driving test.
When I think of that I wonder why we don't raise the standards and then I remember taking my driving test when I was 16 and other than a better familiarity with real English not the tripe they teach at Oxford and Cambridge, my skill level was likely remarkably similar to Mr. Cohen's, indeed 40+ years later and likely a million plus miles under my belt it likely can be argued that significant improvement likely hasn't occurred.
So all I have to say at this point to you Mr. Cohen is welcome to the club Ol' Boy!
I lived in Philadelphia and then NYC for over 30 years, and never learned to drive as an adolescent. Now I live in a small town in rural PA near where I was born and must learn to drive as soon as the weather breaks (I don't want to add to the stress by learning on icy, snowy roads!). I read all the comments here hoping to find someone with a story like mine, because I was very disappointed to see that the title of the piece was misleading and the writer already knew how to drive. I will be 60 in August and am going to learn to drive. I'm terrified.
1
Comgratulations. At age 78 I passed my driving test in England. I'd originally passed it there at age 17, but I moved to America at 30 and tossed my uk license. When I returned to England they couldn't find any record of my original license so I had to start over. I can assure you the test in England is much much tougher than any test in the States.
1
If the test is tougher in jolly old England, why are the drivers there so bad!?!
My father held his breath when I took my driving test. I had mastered most skills but parallel parking was my nightmare. Luckily I just did a k-turn and that was it. If parallel parking was a requirement, I would still be without a license 50 years later.
3
I had to re-test in my twenties - we'd moved states and I left it too late to get a new license. The driving test was in my old Triumph TR4 - top down, loud, bumpy. And, being a British sports car of a certain age, various bits didn't work properly. I had to open and close the passenger door. The turn signals didn't work, necessitating use of hand signals.
The still vivid memory is, on being instructed to make a right turn, of raising my left arm in the air to signal and making a crisp downshift to second at the same time. I think the overall experience was such that the examiner was too overloaded with sensations to notice no hands on the wheel.
I passed. I don't think he wanted to risk another ride in my TR.
6
Bravo!! For your accomplishment and for getting in one of my favorite lines in all literature: Blanche DuBois' "I have often depended on the kindness of strangers". Poor thing and poor us as we all have to depend on the kindness of strangers and the sooner we realize that, the sooner the world will be a better place.
8
I learned to drive in Kampala, while doing PhD field research. When I returned to NY, I found that through a bizarre bureaucratic glitch, a 'reciprocity agreement' would allow me to convert a Uganda driving license to a NY one without taking a road test. After a few lessons on the freeways, I did another swap to be licensed in California. These swaps are no longer allowed in NY.
The second time around, when my US license had expired after 17 years in Africa, I finally took a US driving test, in New York, an experience which apparently has not changed much since 1992: written test, several hours in a classroom watching films of accidents, and the road test. They took us to a neighborhood in the Bronx with no cars; after years of dealing with urban traffic in East Africa, I found driving on empty city streets disorienting, and was tempted to move over to the left side of the road, as I would have in Nairobi. I passed the test, but still occasionally find myself referring to roundabouts, windscreens and glove boxes.
6
I think I am going to forward this to my daughter, who still struggles with the concept of driving, even in the burbs of a city like Los Angeles.
I can't think of a better way to show the freedom that little card - that piece of paper brings to one's life!
4
It appears that you never had a US license that expired.
Periodically I come across people that had a license when young, but let it lapse. And now, many years later, they need one. And besides the hassles that you went through, for insurance you are now labeled a new driver, and will pay higher rates.
I often tell people to never let their license lapse, irrespective if you think you will never need one again. In NY to maintain it is only $10/year.
7
Good advice. I have failed at this---not once---but twice. I have taken a total of 4 driving tests due to overseas moves. All successful but the last one resulted in having to pay 18-year old insurance rates at the age of 35. Painful lesson, indeed.
The fee to renew your NY license depends upon your driver license class. At this time, Class D, DJ, and non-CDL Class C licenses can be renewed for between $64.50 and $80.50. Class M and MJ license renewals cost $72.50 to $88.50. And Class E license renewals cost $112.50 to $128.50. It generally only comes every eight years. (source: NY Safety Council)
I learned the basics of driving on a farm tractor at age 10. At 12, my older cousins began giving me car drivers lessons on deserted rural back roads. I got my first license at 17, and have driven at least a million miles since.
But when I travel out of country, with the exception of one trip to Jordan ( when I needed to get from Amman to Petra and back before tourists discovered Petra), I surrender driving and stick to trains, busses and taxis. Its kind of relaxing being able to sit back and not worry about all the red tape and other inconveniences of being responsible for a car. I have never really missed not having a car when on one of these foreign travels.
Of course, the places I visit mostly have public transportation infrastructures unmatched in this country.
I would like to give it a shot on the Autobahn, though.
7
I have driven on the Autobahn. It was actually less interesting - and less scary - than I expected. Compared to the US (e.g. LA freeways), the drivers are more technically skilled and less crazed. The most complicated thing was that there are cars with 40 horsepower and cars with 400 horsepower. But the slower drivers are very good about sticking to the right hand lane and staying with the flow of traffic.
12
The nice thing about the autobahn is the politeness. You flash your lights, and people move over. Here, if you flash your lights to get by, someone follow you home and beats you up...or worse!
I smiled while I read your column. I have kids your age.
My mother insisted I learn to drive and began to teach me at age 12. Not a problem because we lived in a very rural area where most kids first learned to drive tractors.
I have always felt sorry for those who didn't learn to drive as a child. They seemed to make driving harder than it is. But now I understand--young people feel sorry for us who didn't learn about computers until we were in our fifties.
Good luck!
12
After 20 years in Europe, now at 50 something (still getting over that) I found that I have owned more bicycles than automobiles and maybe had more miles on them as well. With some practice during a long wait for the road test, I managed to pass my drivers test. I think it was by distracting the young lad with embellished tales of life in Amsterdam.
4
Roger and I are the same age. When he was in the Hindu Kush, gallivanting around in “Pigpen”, I was in Tijuana, sowing what oats I could before college; and when he was matriculating as a First Year at Oxford in 1973, I was doing the same as a freshman at Occidental College. Other than the college venue, the big advantage that I have over Roger is that I was born and grew up here, so MY first driving test was conducted in Tacoma, WA (where I largely grew up) almost 47 years ago, and I haven’t had the need to undergo THAT horror again since. If we’re both still vertical years hence, when we’re old enough to start talking to ourselves in public (and not be talking on a phone with buds and a mike), then authorities might demand another. Yikes!
But should it happen I’ll remember to consider Staten Island.
10
I passed my driving test at 17, even the chancy parallel parking part, but seemed to get even worse at parking. One day I had my passenger ask a kind looking old man who was parked between two empty spaces to please pull his car up because I couldn't parallel park and needed two spaces to maneuver. He answered that he wouldn't do that, but he would teach me to park just like he had just done with his granddaughter. I never again had trouble parking because of the kindness of that stranger.
18
I grew up in Staten Island and during my city college years, a bunch of us would often drive into Manhattan for a movie, discos, etc. Since on-the-street parking was at such a premium, and we weren't able to pay the steep parking fees in garages, I became very adept at getting my 1974 Chevy Vega into parking spaces that were 6" longer than my car. Took some maneuvering. It wasn't unusual for a friend to jump out of the car and stand spread-eagled in the parking space across the street while I did a u-turn to get to the free parking space. I hardly ever have to parallel park anymore, but I did have to the other day. It's one of those things that once you've got it, you've got it. Nice of that guy to teach you!
5
Mr. Cohen, I enjoyed your article and it was so lovely to read for me.
There was something refreshing about it that reminds me of
pieces I read long ago when the world felt a bit safer.
Drive safely!!! Stay safe.
19
Congratulations, and thank you for a very entertaining article! So much I can relate to - in reverse. All my adult driving has been in the US until recently when I moved to the UK and had to pass the dreaded driving test! I truly wondered at times if I'd be able to pass it, particularly after I turned into the wrong lane time and time again (scaring my poor, patient driving instructor more than once!). I struggled through the terminology, the road rules, and the mortification of failing - twice! - but I persevered. One week before turning 60 I became the proud (and very relieved) recipient of a UK drivers license.
By the way, I'm now 62 as well.
25
I remember my driver's test! I was an older student -- 20! -- and I took driver's training on the quiet streets of my college town. The instructor schooled us in the route and maneuvers the examiner would use -- which he did -- but did not teach parallel parking. So at the end, when I had executed the practiced route and activities without flaw, I was quite taken aback when he told me to park in front of the police station.
I did my best but I didn't know how to do it, really -- I did figure out that the more tries I made, the worse it would look, so I stopped after a few. The examiner asked, "Are you within one foot of the curb?" I said emphatically "Yes!" Well, when he opened his door to check, he laughed -- I was a good yard away from the curb. But he gave it to me anyway!
I don't know how I learned to parallel park after that, but I did -- and I got to be quite good at it. One had to be where I lived (the South End of Boston, where all parking is on-street). But I had no experience with parking lots, and when I got a job in the suburbs and I had to commute out, I parked way out in the hinterlands of the parking lot, where there were no other cars.
People wondered why I was so protective of my beat-up Chevy Nova (a city car if you ever saw one), but I didn't tell them.
12
Years ago I had a friend who had convinced herself that, as a NYC resident, she had no need to learn to drive. It was a problematic decision, as she was was reminded whenever she traveled, but she persisted until career developments required her to move to Los Angeles. At that point she had no choice, but the process of learning to drive and passing a driving test in her mid-40s was traumatic, both for my friend and those who helped her through it.
Much easier to get it done in your teens.
18
In the 1960s my wife and I picked up a Triumph sports car at the factory in Coventry, steering wheel on the left side, for shipment home to Upstate NY. I drove confidently three miles down a narrow road on the proper (left) side and felt fine until I got to the traffic circle, which I discovered was called a "roundabout" and that the Brits go in the wrong direction. Ooops! I was the one going in the wrong direction. Drivers scattered all over the place. But they were nice about it.
Probably we wefen't the first Yank to leave that factory and pose a threat to the natives. We made it through alive and then proceeded to wander joyfully around England for two weeks. I have loved vehicles with bonnets, boots, wings, windscreens and indicators every since. Thanks for the column.
34
I recall renting a car in Ireland at or near Shannon. and being somewhat aghast when the rental guy just threw me the keys. And it was manual. The first trip was intense. I did manage to scrape the left front bumper on a narrow stone bridge when confronted with a bus coming at me - - - it turned out to be no problem because that fender had been pre -scraped by earlier Yanks. Someone gave me a mnemonic for roundabouts - roundabout- right (look right) - which helped prevent an encounter similar to yours. But my hand kept automatically indicating turns with the windshield wipers.
7
Ever since 1942, there have been signed painted on the streets at intersections in London telling people from other parts of the world which way to look while crossing.
Having spent years overseas in a country with an advanced mass transit system (clean, economical, on time and technologically cutting edge) I knew I would have to "get with the program" - aka drive. - when I returned to the US. Unfortunately my state has terrible infrastructure, awful traffic, scarce parking, etc so I decided why not live in the city? And I did. No commutes, no maintenance, no high gas bills, (too few electric car stations), no nothing. Plus with Lyft and Uber I'm set. Compared to my friends who complain of long commutes into town that start as early as 4:30 am I walk to or take a short bus everywhere in town. Albeit my retired life allows this but I have maintained my driver's license. It serves as ID.
10
When I learned to drive about 50 years ago, my biggest problem was feeling that I had to continually adjust the steering to keep the car on track. It took a while to loosen up and accept that the car tends to go where initially pointed.
I've always had trouble with parallel parking, usually because I don't turn the wheel hard enough, and wind up parking on the sidewalk.
9
Great column.
I hold two strong memories from my driving test almost 50 years ago. One was my instructor telling me that one of his colleagues was, some three months later, still recovering from injuries sustained in an accident during a driving test. I am pretty sure that person did not pass, but it made me look at test examiners in a completely different way. I'd never considered them courageous before.
The other was the dreaded parallel parking part of the test. To that point, I had never parallel parked so I was sure I would fail that part. I backed in and pulled out of the spot as though I'd been doing it forever. I passed my first try but it was years before I tried to parallel park again. I would go blocks out of my way to a spot I could drive into rather than back into.
21
Congratulations, Roger! I too know what it's like to learn to drive at an advanced age. I learned at 40, and I was in a bustling Mid-Atlantic city where drivers seem to take pride in how discourteous they can be. I remember being terrified during the road test but determined. Much to my amazement I too heard the words, "You passed." The examiner even praised my instructor for doing such a fine job with me as her pupil. I had never been so proud as I was on that day, not even when I was conferred my PhD.
36
Wonderful story. I may put on a torn tee shirt and start screaming "Stella!" while I drive around town. Or I may scream "Mueller, help us!"
74
An American, I lived in a country with British traditions for quite a few years. But unlike some others in my position whom I encountered, I attempted to adapt my life as much as possible to local ways and manners, believing that there was no reason to leave home otherwise.
I went in for a road test much earlier than the author apparently did, but I did not have to think twice about learning the local road terminology beforehand.
Such policies helped to make my life in that country much smoother and more rewarding than it would have been if I had tried to remain stubbornly "American" in the way that I did things. I believe that it also reflected a degree of respect that I thought was called for.
17
It's hard to recall my father's faults. He was such a decent man, a loving father who worked seven days a week in a factory to give his family a decent living. He had his moments when he would lose his temper, but they were rare and short lived. I remember his goodness, his successes, one of which was to buy a new Dodge "gyromatic" sedan, half automatic and half clutch, at age 50 even before he passed his driving test. As a teenager I had to move the car before I had a license from one side of the street to the other during the day to get the good space on Tuesday and Friday and avoid a ticket. Even today at 79, years after his death, I take pride in thinking about him.
I was too young to take pride in FDR but I did with Kennedy and Obama to name two Presidents I admired, even though they had their faults and we disagreed on some issues. No matter how old your are, a President is like a nation's father. I miss taking pride in our President whose faults dominate the news everyday. We deserve a President to be proud of even if he has faults. Not having one makes all of us less a part of an American family.
112
I was not proud of Barack Obama. I was bitterly ashamed of things he did in office, like legalizing "dreamers". And the lousy worthless HIGH DEDUCTIBLE insurance he forced me to buy.
Now you know how I felt for 8 years.
Turnabout is fair play.
I learned to drive at 45 and thought that was old. I think the tester took pity on me and passed me first time. Everyone else was 16. It has been over 20 years ago and it is one of the best things I have ever done. It has given me independence and helped in emergencies.
29
Wonderful! It brought back memories of my first driving test, which ended with the instructor and me yelling at each other in the DMV parking lot.
Happy travels, Roger. Buy a sports car. It's a little late, but you deserve it.
42
A sports car? Good idea. Then you can join a club, e.g. the Porsche, Jaguar, BMW or Ferrari national clubs. The local chapters of those clubs hold track days during which qualified instructors will really teach you how to drive, enjoy your car on public roads, and do it more safely than you could before.
1
On my third try, being a male meant you had to take the test three times before they would pass you, I finally passed my English driver's test in 1973. I recall having to make a quick "emergency" stop when the tester banged his clip board to the dashboard, but the strangest part of the test was backing around a corner, something I haven't done once in the past 45 years behind the wheel.
19
Mike,
Sitting here in my apartment on the UWS of Manhattan filling out my Medicare application I was reminded by your comment of my own driving test in London all those years ago when only stick shift existed in the UK. The most memorable part was having to reverse around a corner uphill, never straying more than twelve inches from the curb, and then the sadist of an examiner hit the dashboard for my emergency stop. He then made me do a handbrake start reversing up the hill which amazingly I managed although I must have taken a few years off the clutch. I passed, although he suggested I could benefit from actually studying the theory section. I've never found the theory all that helpful in New York to be honest.
10
I took my test in Esher, Surry, near London...maybe it was the same examiner. On the "theory" part, he flashed a road sign that I have still never seen on the road, only in the book. A white background with three, then two, then one red stripe. It means a railroad crossing in coming. I had been driving successfully for years, no accidents or tickets, yet he found a way to fail me. When he said "I am sorry" at the end of the test, I couldn't believe it!
1
" ... lots of Trump supporters so busy watching the “genius” on Fox that they seldom venture out."
I'm impressed. Trump blasts can be enjoyed these days in all sorts of unexpected contexts - any topic seems to provide an opportunity. But a poke at Trump supporters in a piece about taking a driving test reflects true lateral thinking. I guess we're convinced that we really don't need any Staten Island votes in the next election. Or anywhere outside Progressive strongholds.
24
I lived on Staten Island, within walking distance of the ferry, for over 20 years. I found the casual disdain of many New Yorkers toward the borough resulted from ignorance and snobbery. Racism is not acceptable among progressives, but unfortunately, classism is.
1
Undoubtedly the wealthy and privileged Cohen family lives in Manhattan or Park Slope -- just how many "awful Trumpers in the streets" could there be in such liberal strongholds?
It was just a (very cheap) excuse for a pointless insult -- and note, the insult was less against Trump than those very voters (from Staten Island and other parts of NY State!) that Democrats NEED if they ever wish to WIN.
I live on Staten Island.....voted for Hillary Clinton and hate our reputation as a Trump stronghold. We used to be known for being the home of the world's largest landfill.....now this (ugh).
1
Great job. Now go for flight lessons. In flying maybe you can relive some of that excitement you had with pigpen. Flying is the ultimate privilege.
6
I presume this was in an automatic? If you passed your UK test the first time, congratulations (you know what the failure rate was back then) and in a stick shift! Somewhere (like me) you should still have that little green license that was supposed to last until you are 70, but last time I tried to rent a car in Brum they didn't like that license. I ended up using my NJ permit where the only thing I remember about the test was failing to know the color of signs on the turnpike indicating lodging at the next exit.
8
After all that, I sure hope that Roger will be able to stay on the right (correct) side of the road.
21
Elisheva, why should his driving be any different from his writing - always left and wrong?
2
Well done!
And don't forget: in *this* colony we keep right!
13
"Lots of Trump supporters so busy watching the 'genius' on Fox that they seldom venture out"
I was just wondering if it is still possible to write an op-ed piece in the NYT without what seems to be the required jab at Mr. Trump and his supporters.
I passed my US driving test in NJ in 1969, a test given in a parking lot and got through the entire things without thinking about or mentioning Vietnam or Chappaquiddick .
Tests in NJ were easier than those in NYC. And tests in Staten Island were the easiest, long before the Trump era.
Give it a rest. The mandatory Trump gibe is so boring.
32
Thank you, Mr. Cohen, for yet another wonderful piece. I've been seeing prescient references to Trump in plenty of art as well. The most recent was Black Panther, which was created before Trump but has the line, "He's a monster of our own making."
But, on a lighter, happier note...
My father was 50 when our family immigrated to the US in late 1959. He didm't speak any English and he'd never driven a car in his life. Less than a year later, with not much English and very little driving instruction, he took the driving test. He drove well, parked adequately, but had trouble correctly identifying/explaining some road signs. In particular, he was stumped by "Construction Ahead". The man administering the test, who knew that my father was the Cantor of our town's synagogue, asked him, "Reverend, if you were driving and saw that sign, what would you do?" My father replied, "Slow down and pray." He passed.
30
Well Joshua Schwartz, you’re right of course about the stuck-on Trump gibe, except that the quote is just so darn great. And, except that Trump wouldn’t bring the raw meat home - he’d stop and eat it himself.
Even though I don't like our dear leader I have to agree with you. It's enough. There are so many real issues to discuss and, even, argue about that we must resist being distracted.
1
My grandmother never drove, but when my grandfather died, my dad (her son in law) convinced her to keep the car. Three years later, when she was 62, my dad taught her to drive. It took the patience of Job, but on the fourth try, my grandmother passed the driving exam. She was forever grateful to my dad for the independence driving have her. She drove for 18 and before poor health made her stop.
73
My grandmother learned to drive in her early 70s, when my grandfather, who had done all the driving in a succession of DeSotos and later big Chevrolet sedans, developed macular degeneration and had to stop. She drove for 20 more years, until after an accident in a parking garage alerted the family, and she gave it up at our behest. She lived for a dozen years after that, and often bemoaned the loss of her liberty. But if she'd had that, she might not have had all those extra years (almost till 106).
9