You are completely correct besides the fact that I am reading this article on an electronic device, so if you really wanted to make your point New York Times, I would recommend you stop electronically having articles and just have newspapers with the same articles. I šyou though, but since I've seen more than one article about spending too much time on electronics, you should try switching to newspaper if you want to make your point.š
14
I took a month off of my electronic and my behavior around others was better and my behavior to myself was also much better. Although I had the urge to glance at my screen, I knew I was just hurting myself. This taught me a very valuable lesson which is : No matter how eager you feel to check your phone or any other electronic, just think to yourself which H is it? HELPING or HURTING . No matter what your opinion may be, scientists have proven that when you are looking at a screen, it's automatically not helping you, and hurting anyone else looking at the device. I'm not to say who should and shouldn't be on their devices, because in some cases, they can be used for important calls or something that you think will help you or help someone else, which if you think about it , was most likely the main reason for the building of these devices. Once again, I'm not to say what you should and shouldn't do, because that's up to you. I now don't have any social media apps or any games on my iPod, I have a limit of 30 minutes of screen time every day, and I don't watch TV in my household. I think social media ESPECIALLY makes a big impact on how much time you spend on a screen since you have the urge to check how many followers you have or how many likes you got on your post.The fact is that you feel appreciated when people like your post or follow you and there's nothing wrong with that, but you like it so much it becomes an addiction which is not healthy.
Thank you,
5th Grader
18
I took a month off of my electronic and my behavior around others was better and my behavior to myself was definitely improving. I had the urge many times to come and check my iPod and just check my messages or email, but I knew I was just hurting myself. This is a very valuable lesson, and the lesson is that no matter how eager you feel to check you phone any other electronic, just think to yourself which H is it? HELPING or HURTING . No matter what your opinion may be, scientists have proven that when you are looking at a screen, it's automatically not helping you as an individual, it is hurting you and anyone else looking at that device. I'm not to say who should and shouldn't be on their devices, since sometimes they can be used for important calls or pictures or something that you think will help you or help someone else, I believe should be why you use a device. Once again,I'm not to say what you should and shouldn't do, because that's up to you, because even I use other apps that probably aren't a good use of screen time, but I now don't have any social !soda apps or any games on my iPod. I think social media makes a big impact on your screen time because you have the urge to check how many people follow you or liked your post and I think that's mostly about the fact that you feel appreciated because people are you and they like you and they are interested in you so they follow you and your reaction is to feel happy that you are so appreciated.
3
Something almost magical happened when I forgot my phone the other day -- I was saddled with the mundane responsibility watching my kids in a hotel pool and looking forward to getting productive with my phone... but forgot it. Could not leave so I felt completely stuck in a waste of time. I fought off all kinds of emotions including anger for about 10 minutes. Then, like getting rid of an addiction I started to chill while making sure those swimming figures stayed safe. Creative and productive ideas flooded my mind for the next 40 minutes like the old days, I just wish I had a piece of paper to write on :) I recommend it highly.
16
I think that this article is important and is a great eye-opener for many people. The moment where I realized that I needed to break up with my phone was when I kept on procrastinating with my work. I started sleeping very late on school days and it has been affecting the way I would act in school. I would always be tired and would not be getting the best out of my day. However, I feel like your phone is an important and crucial part of your life. It keeps me updated on what is going on around the world and so on. While the article does mention key points on when to realize you are being "controlled" by your phone, you should not completely detach yourself from it.
3
Is the T-Mobile advertisement in the middle of the article "How to Break Up With Your Phone" meant as a quip?
Having no involvement at all with Facebook for the past four months feels totally satisfying.
8
I have an "old" flip phone which I use only for emergencies and have vowed never to get a smart phone.
However, I must admit I've always had a perverse secret hankering to watch one of my favorite movies, "Lawrence of Arabia," on a 3 X 6-inch screen and see a camel no bigger than an exclamation point.
12
Another suggestion: Get a phone that's a generation or two olderāit will slow you down enough that you'll likely use it just a bit less, and you'll save money, too (I recently became a proud owner of an iPhone 6s).
I just finished a three-year stint in Japan where I actually had no cell phone. The freedom of going back to that form of life was wonderful. There were costs, too, but on the whole living life without the constant connection to all the rest of everything slowed me down and kept me in a good place. I have tried, now that I have a new situation, to keep my phone in a place that I feel is a good balance. I think I do, but who knows?
7
I think that your friends and family DO adjust their expectations to your average response time. If you ALWAYS respond instantaneously, they will be puzzled, worried, or even downright offended, if you do not respond instantaneously EVERY time.
I keep my phone on silent 99% of the time (and was surprised to hear that my 33 year old daughter does too!), do not have it in the courtroom (where I work) with me during the mornings and afternoons on weekdays (9:30 - 1 and 2:15 - 4:30), and, at some point in the evening before bed, put it aside. If I am with someone, I am with them first and foremost, My phone isn't looked at until I am on my own again. (I am horrible at juggling two people at once; therefore the one with me gets priority, ALWAYS). It's actually a relief.
My only exception to the above is my daughter, who lives out of state and is quite independent. If she calls, I am there. It's a mother thing.
When I am with someone and they respond to a text or phone call while I'm with them, honestly, I'm kind of offended. Can this wait? Where's the emergency? What does this say about our relationship that, without so much as a pause, I would be put "on hold" if someone else (whoever that is) happens to call or text?
Whenever I see young mothers and fathers with their kids, and their focus is the phone not their child, I always think of that Harry Chapin song, "Cat's in the Cradle." Don't really want it to, but it just pops into my head.
9
This is all great advice and probably hits home for too many of us.
One piece that I'd add is to try to experience the joys of life through your own lens rather than through the lens of your phone. I'm a frequent concert-goer and it seems that, at any given moment, half the audience has their phone up to take a video/picture to post on social media. While I understand the urge to do this (and I've been guilty of it myself in the past), what ends up happening is that you're so focused on capturing the digital memory of the show that you end up (somewhat paradoxically) destroying the real memory of actually enjoying it.
This happens with vacations as well -- people focus so much and snapping that perfect picture that they lose sight of just taking it all in.
17
@Tim Mahoney
If everyone is doing the observing who is doing the living
5
As a "millennial," what gives me the most pause in being able to fully unplug is the expectation from my peers that I must reply to text messages or emails within a short period of time. Not getting a reply for hours is considered offensive and requires one to be leashed to their phone at all times. I assume this obligation plays a big role in my generation suffering from anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. This feeling of always needing to be "on" and available.
Perhaps we can all relax and lower our expectations for response time, which will allow us all to unplug from time to time without the "social shame" associated with it.
16
Yes, I think its easier for "Oldies". I just tell people I'm old and still function like I did for most of my life. I let them know not to expect instant answers no matter what I'm doing. I still have a land line and I generally only give the cell phone number to people who really need it, and I tell them to call on the land line first. I tell people I'm old and am not on my cell phone all the time, that I generally do not answer it when I'm out because I'm either moving about or with people, and I think it's rude to always be answering the phone. (so they might as well use the land line and leave a message - and the big red light will inform me as soon as I get home). Etc. There are all sorts of things you can do, but I get that in certain circles it may just be too different and not accepted, too.
3
I'm sorry if I'm disappointing any Smartphone addict who happens upon this, but I wouldn't buy such a device on a bet.
Why not? I have much, much better things to spend my money on: books, music, healthy food, charities, art, travel, aids for exercise, useful devices like a world-class blender and a well-engineered super-samovar, state-of-the-art lighting that will spare my vision while Smartphoners are ruining theirs, etc.
There's also the freedom that I have won for myself by not constantly tethering myself to an electronic clichƩ. Long live the persons who opt for liberty over highly intrusive technology. Subtle raspberries to the folks who block out, to the maximum extent possible, the world of real people through which they are constantly, but heedlessly, moving.
I am old enough (aha! you will think) to remember when almost everyone believed that the ease of global communications which the internet brought us would soon create a significantly more rational and peaceful world.
Instead, I have watched as the age of high technology has thrust humanity deeper and deeper into the abysses of propaganda created by the Trumps, Putins, Xis, Kims, Khameneis, and Assads of this world. Junk for junkies.
I reckon that I should now apologize for such eccentric remarks and express my desire that you all enjoy your devices while you can. But please don't get too addicted to them. The miracle of cyberwar could deprive you of your central answer to existence on any given day.
13
It pains me to see so many people, especially young people, fixated on their phones and not the moment they're in. I was remembering recently one day when I was a kid at summer camp, waiting with the other kids for the adults to gather us to go do something. I remember drawing in the dirt with the others, eating Mike and Ike candies, feeling the hot sun. I think about what would happen today-would most kids be on their phones? What sort of memories will they have?
I find a good solution for me is to just leave the phone behind. If I were to send my kid to camp, I'd keep his phone at home and rely on the counselors to keep in touch should there be a problem. When I go to the gym, I leave the phone at home. I don't need to be on-demand and anyone calling me can wait until I get home.
I have experimented with not having Facebook, NYTimes, and LATimes on my phone. I avoid all "push" notifications (except for winning eBay auctions!), figuring I can go to those sites at home when *I* want to read them. I have found that reducing these apps and leaving the phone home or in the car has reduced my stress and has helped allow to be more focused. I have always thought that the mobile phone can be a ball and chain but we don't have to let it be.
8
The top five commenters' advice is similar to the Nike Slogan, except it's turned backwards: Just Don't Do It! Close your fb account; talk to the baby not stare into your cell; trade with a flip phone and so on
Such advice hasn't worked to control our excess weight and expanding waistlines; it won't work to control our excessive use of smart phones.
In both cases we presume the issue is self-control, or willpower. As if we could tap into some mysterious and infinite source of control that will change the rest of our life for good.
Yet the issue at hand is that until what we have on smart phone is more interesting than the person in front of you -- your baby, your lover, your friend or a family member -- you are acting rationally by ignoring people.
WE have become less interesting. This is what need fixing before we fix our behavior.
5
This doesn't even address the dangers of exposure to the radio frequencies needed to make one's phone smart. I shudder at the image of a phone being that close to a new baby. Lest you think I'm a tin-foil nut, dig through the literature that was packaged with your smart phone. You'll find, at the very end, and in a very small font, the warning that exposure may cause cancer.
1
@mutchens
And if you dig enough, you'll find that scientifically, there is no relationship between use of the smart phone and the onset of cancer.
6
This old man no longer works, has a cell phone which seldom rings in and less often rings out.
Like a hammer the phone is a tool with a use, but unlike the hammer the phone doesn't appear to need one.
2
4 or 5 hours a day ? No offense, but there is something seriously wrong with you. Yes, I realize millions do it. Doesn't make it smart. It is disgusting to see the addiction and lust in play. Everywhere. All ages. Yes Phones.
I don't have to break up with a phone, because I have never gone steady with one. Its a PHONE ...
5
Or get rid of it.
I have a flip phone that I use only when I travel out of town, about once a month.
Yesterday I saw four adults walking though a downtown park together. Each one was silent, looking at his or her phone screen. This is the work of Satan.
14
I still have my prepaid Motorola from 2004 that I use. Because of my elderly parents, I now have a mobile phone and it really has made it easier to deal with a lot of issues that come up. But when I no longer have those issues, I'll return to my trusty '04 full-time.
1
It is worrisome to see what cell phones are doing to our lives, in so many ways. I hope the message and spirit of this article catch on with the general population. The worst, I think, is that the world beyond our screens is becoming irrelevant.
4
The herd instinct prevails again.
3
My doctor has informed me that due to increased phone/tablet use Iām not watching enough TV.
9
Go back to the Blackberry. Great keyboard, fits in your pocket, battery lasts 3 days. It's got phone, text and email and that is all you need.
8
another Blackberry user! I thought we were almost extinct... The Bby Passport is my international email and web companion, app-less, with a separate flip phone in each of the countries I live/work in. I get pitying looks when using the flip phone but my life and friends are real, not virtual.
I think the screen obsession began with unlimited TV. My kids grew up without it, perhaps that is why they are smart and not smartphone addicts.
2
My motto with phones: "Is your smartphone a tool, or are you the tool?".
I bought a Blackberry Classic that runs Blackberry's OS, its great. The physical keyboard is amazing and it has the essentials: maps, calendar, calculator, Spotify and my bank.
My phone is a tool, not a toy. My toy is my tablet and it stays at home.
4
"How many people on their deathbeds do you think are going to say, āI wish Iād spent more time on Facebookā?"
I need to ask myself that same question about the NY Times.
13
What a powerful reminder--a baby looking for mom--and mom looking at her phone. Everyday I see people pushing babies in strollers, staring at their phones. No eye contact, no chitchat to shore up that relationship. Certainly one could ignore a child before iphones, but no one was in your face distracting you the way an iphone seems to do to so many. I even feel bad for the dogs whose owners walk them around the block, checking messages all the way. One day in my car driving home by the bayou, I was wishing I could be outside instead: the sun was setting, oranges and reds reflected in the water with just a bit of a breeze above. Ahead of me a couple walked side by side along the bayou path close together, tall and young and healthy-looking. As I passed, I looked back. Both of them were looking down at the phones in their hands, oblivious of where they were or who they were with. What a waste.
4
My two cents...probably worth about half that... I think that practicing trial separations is likely to be counter-productive. There is good evidence that more of a "cold-turkey" approach to quitting works better. It is too easy to open the floodgates, when there are cracked open just a little.
...because I've been living abroad for a while and it's recommended not to show your "nice" cell phone so you don't get mugged, I've been more careful when I take it out of my pocket or I don't carry it with me.
Since then, I've been reading more, talking and "listening" to people more and spending less time with my head hanging down looking at a screen and when I want to listen to music, I used my old iPod nano, but when I come to the US... it reminds me how pathetic I used to look. So oblivious to anything and everything.
But what do you do when your life is upgraded by the minute! with all those apps and services that your cell phone provides? Tech companies are glueing us to their technology. Free Wifi everywhere, Apps for bank accounts, Apps to see your home when you're not there, Apps to watch TV, Apps to listen to music....and on, and on, and on... Tech companies don't want you to stop ever from looking down...
Maybe when our "atlas" and "axis" of our spine start deforming...
1
remember the good old days of fixed line telephones?
9
I still have my land-line dial phones. They're great. And when I AM on the phone, because I can't walk around I am limited to what I can do while I'm talking. It's easier to focus on the conversation.
3
Taking some separation time from my iPhone is something that Iāve done recently and have replaced it with something even better; reading. Iām 26 currently and my phone is pretty much my life. I talk with everyone, either through phone calls or text messages, I check social media apps countless times a day, I play mobile games when Iām bored, all of which Iāve learned take time away from my life.
So Iāve decided to change it up a bit. Whenever I want to use my phone for anything other than texting, calling, or planning my day and schedule, I pick up where I left off on the book Iām currently reading (The List, by Patricia Forde). If I donāt have that book or my Kindle with me, or if I just feel like reading something new, I look up a story on the NYT for me to read. Itās much more satisfying than spending an hour on Facebook that feels more like five minutes rather than sixty. Now the urge to check social media is nonexistent and my love for reading has increased tenfold.
16
It seems that people have a fear of being bored-a fear that is fanned by tech companies. Sometimes when I am bored somewhere, I look at the people passing by, at the buildings, at the street, signs, cars, etc. My mind might wander and I might start thinking about this or that and maybe even come up with something I might want to remember. It's okay to be bored and just be with yourself and your thoughts. That being said, it's a good thing, too, to remove yourself from social media as much as you can!
1
I am grateful for my iPhone, but more grateful that I went to college pre-social media era, and even more grateful that I was unplugged during my daughterās baby - preschool years. Now I navigate its use, and donāt add apps such as FB to my home-screen. I feel better about time spent overall, and feel more like I āscream-homeā with joy when chilling out with my family.
1
These articles on getting over your phone or weaning yourself from the Internet are just another symptom of unhealthy obsession.
Nothing compels you to stare at your phone. Do what you want to do.
My phone has absorbed many capacities once possessed by other items in my house, such as my alarm clock, my stereo, or my computer, even my mail, my doorbell and my TV. My phone is not a malevolent, hypnotic monster. It was designed to be an omni-device, and it has been greatly successful. To use my phone is to live my modern life.
2
My iPhone has become less of a "phone" and more of a tool and as all tools, it's up to you what you make out of it.
That being said, I practice what I call "techno-detox" a minimum of a couple of times a year by going to a meditation center for 10 days[no phones, no books] or traveling to a very remote region with no wifi access.
Closed my FB account about 6 months ago and haven't missed it a bit.
8
I know this might not be the best way to break away from my phone but I found that getting the latest Apple watch with cellular allows me to go out without my phone. Someone can still call me or text me and I can get a Lyft or Uber ride home. It's very liberating.
5
Somehow I never got addicted to the phone per se, although I do own an iPhone. But I am addicted to the internet, especially Facebook and news sites like this one, which I visit on my iPad and laptop. I keep promising myself I am going to stop, or set limits, or something. People tell me, just check Facebook once in a while so people won't think you've dropped off the edge of the world. But I find it's like those potato chip ads: You can't have just one. I quickly and happily review my relatives' posts of babies and new homes, but pretty soon I am looking at kitty cats and travel pictures and inspirational sayings, and two hours later, I look up and say, WTH? As a Christian, the most heartbreaking jolt is when I see all kinds of posts about scripture study and realize that I read more ABOUT reading the Bible than I spend actually reading the Bible. Time for a change...
6
Thanks for sharing your computer addiction concerns.
I am struggling with a possible book on screen addiction, in general.
But Catherine Price's Rx for cell phone addiction may be very helpful.
I wonder how successful she has been, in terms for hours per day, away from her phone. I am trying to cut my computer time, in half, to begin with.
3
Thanks for your comment, Harry. I feel that I've been quite successful with my own phone breakup (thank goodness, otherwise I'd feel quite hypocritical!). But even more important than the hours away from my phone is my renewed focus on what I actually want to pay attention to in my life. Today, while I'm certainly not immune to the occasional zombie check/phone spiral, I feel that I can use the sight of my phone as a reminder to check in with myself about what's important to me in life. I'd love to hear how your own experiment goesāfeel free to email me through the contact form at phonebreakup.com!
1
Dear Catherine, I am sending a note to you via your page.
I hope that you are getting all the publicity you can for this wonderful book. It is so well organized, so thorough, so compact, so inexpensive.
Don't know what i can possibly add to your advice, but I will try to see what might be left out in the book... Best of luck...
www.SavingSchools.org
1
This octogenarian is not as swift as others to accept and apply new ways, particularly those that involve electronics. So I just never got around to acquiring a smart phone. No problem; my dumb flip phone suits my needs just fine and Iām very glad to have it. Also very glad about the significant amount of money Iāve saved this way over the years ā but the money palls in comparison to the precious hours that werenāt wasted gaping at screens and poking at keyboards. Is there anything more valuable than time?
11
I have a smart phone but to limit my time on the phone my data plan is only 2 mg per month not the unlimited data plan which many service providers are pushing.
2
Think twice before setting up your phone charger outside the bedroom. In a medical emergency or with an intruder in the house, quick and reliable access to 911 is essential. If you have a real landline and a corded phone by the bed, the advice is fine. With other setups (that won't work during a power or internet outage), make an informed decision about reliability. If the mobile is your only phone, IMO it should be charged on the nightstand.
Keeping the ringer and vibration always off strikes me as very rude. You are telling your friends and relatives "I refuse to be disturbed by your call, but I expect you to be disturbed when I call back." If everyone kept their ringers off, there would be no more live phone calls. Most phones have a setting that allows only "priority" callers to ring through.
5
I have kept a flip phone. I can call anywhere in the world with it. Otherwise, I have a computer at work. I have a computer at home. I refuse to be ripped of by data fees. I refuse to become addicted. It is liberating and there is truly no feeling of deprivation.
7
I don't have a phone and I don't want one unless it makes it really easy for job communication, but I think I can use email for that. For me the healthiest relationship with a phone is one where I glance at it for just a few minutes or none at all. They are largely a waste of time in my experience. Window shopping and social media are massive wastes of time past the 1 minute mark of viewing for me. There is very little financial or skill gain in return for their use outside of using new recipes for cooking. Using them is not very different from watching TV in terms of productivity. They can also kill your motivation to get healthier, like work out more. They can actually do that. If you are curious about using social media stay away from it. It can make you take your real life friends for granted and keep you from visiting them more. In these 2010s it has become more common to see students walking around staring at their phones. I just wonder how many people with high potential will see it wasted because they are too distracted with their phones. Phones seem like they have become like a common part of a person's life now and that is scary to think about. Brains can be easily hard wired to consume more and more of many media and materials as the days of use start and go by. My takeaway is stay away from phones as much as possible. And maybe try to do something productive with that phone viewing time instead like working out, cooking or drawing. I like drawing and working out.
3
Over the last 20+ years the communications industry has done a fabulous P.R. job convincing us just how much we need to be connected 24/7. A win-win for them on the NASDAQ and another great loss for true interpersonal connection in society. I have a Tracfone for emergency purposes only - and pay approx. $100 per year. You won't catch me in a crosswalk staring at a screen while nearly being run over by a car. You won't see me sitting in an airport waiting room staring at a screen in my palm - but will be talking to or watching those close by. Time to get more aware of those around us rather than honeymooning with a screen 24/7. Maybe we'd have less school shootings if we are aware of the situations right in our own backyard - get off our duffs and our screens and get involved with real human contact.
4
I gave up social media for Lent. I had 4 social media apps and I deleted all 4 and I have not missed them as much as I thought I would. I am still working on using my phone less and deleting the apps were definitely a good first step. I don't think social media and phones are bad, but I just need to learn how to use them better.
2
I too have taken a step back from screen time and have really enjoyed it. I spend an hour a day or less reading the news, doing the crossword puzzle, paying bills, checking emails, etc. and that's it. I deleted all my social media accounts- most of those interactions were with people I barely knew or didn't like anyway.
This was only supposed to be a month long experiment, and that was back in December. Since then, I've read more, my house is cleaner, and I've spent more time with friends and family. I'm never going back!!!!
1
I'm sure I have a different perspective because I'm 20 but the push-back against phones is wild to me. Technology has always been changing constantly and with it new come opportunities both good and bad.
I have a Blackberry with news apps, email, audio-books, podcasts, and apps for all my bills. It seems pretty clear to me that the problem isn't the technology but how people choose to use it. Someone who spends a majority of their time scrolling through social media probably isn't going use that time productively just by taking away that social media or the means of accessing it (and it's not inherently bad if they don't.) People have ALWAYS chosen ways to spend their time unproductively, if that begins to interfere with their experiences then they need to find more positive outlets for that unproductive time. Not having a smart phone isn't going to change that.
2
Once an avid swimmer decades ago I started swimming again two years ago. I swim four times per week, one hour once I'm in the pool. I had completely forgotten that when you swim it is basically sensory depravation...complete disconnection from the outside world. What this did for me is made me realize it is possible to be both disconnected and still be very much alive, and not just alive but present in the moment. This has spilled over into the rest of my life as well - less time in front of the TV, on the internet, etc.
3
If you walk the corridors of any university, you will see students sitting around playing with their I toys. As students walk into class, they are playing with their I toys. As students get up to leave the classroom, they are already playing with their I toys. When students sit around the university in pairs or small groups, they are not studying, they are not talking about their lives, they are sharing videos on their I toys. Personal devices are specifically designed by the "geniuses" at Apple to make people stupider and lazier and, therefore, easier to manipulate. But I guess one has to be an actual genius to see this.
Likewise, Mark Zuckerberg and social media has turned America into a tribal society. Think Iraq or Afghanistan.
22
I'm glad that Apple is charging $1,000 for a new iPhone and I hope that internet usage becomes equally expensive.
People have allowed themselves to become completely focused on their phones, essentially creating a nation of willful addicts. Now is the time to rake it it from the hordes of mindless fools who spend all of their time staring into their phones.
15
Not only did I take away social media from my phone, I also took away Safari.
5
Iāve read countless articles like this one - explaining why and how to break up with our phones, and Iāve been successful in drastically reducing the amount of time I spend on my own. Instead Iāve started becoming offended by how often others check out to spend time in the virtual world. My boyfriend and I have had several arguments about it, but he hasnāt bought the idea of less phone use yet. So I think what we need now is a guide on what to do when, for example, everyone youāre at dinner with is on their phone, without getting offended or preachy. I want to spend more time with real people, but thatās tough when all the real people are still on their phones!
13
I struggled with this same question when I was writing the book. I'd love to hear other readers' suggestions, but two that stuck out to me both had humor in common: 1. if people are truly checked out, use your own phone to take a photo of them, and send it back with the message "I miss you!" 2. I've also heard of groups of friends where everyone agrees that the first person who checks their phone during the meal has to pay the tax when the bill comes. Ideally we'll eventually reach a situation where checking your phone at the table becomes as rude as picking your nose in public, but for now, it does seem that a little humor & self-deprecation can be helpful
I recently was in a relationship with someone who turned out to be in a much more important relationship with her iPhone.
My family members and waitstaff would often comment on how she behaved. It felt kind of bad playing second-fiddle to a phone.
23
I love technology, I'm typing this on my desktop computer, I got my first word processor in 1980, I've been online for 23 years, I adore email . . . . . .
BUT, I simply refuse to be umbilically attached to my phone. So, I'm not. I rarely take it anywhere except when we travel away from home, so I don't have to take a laptop. I refuse to depend on a mobile phone for apps (actually I don't have any). I hate texting. I prefer to talk to friends, on a house phone. I abhor social media, FB, etc. When I have work to do, or email to answer, I do it at my desk. Full stop.
We still buy print newspapers every day and I prefer to read real books and listen to music on a stereo system. I know, I'm a dinosaur. But I don't have to worry about 'breaking up' with my phone either. Worst of all is seeing my husband's already badly behaved tweenage grandsons go ballistic when they misplace their phones. Pitiful.
15
When I found myself checking my various email accounts not just on line at stores or in doctors' waiting rooms but at stop lights, I decided I was too dependent. I gave it up for a semi-smart flip phone. I keep a smart phone for travel outside the US where GPS and other features are useful and even necessary. I only activate it for trips. As an author, I spend too much time looking at screens as it is, so I'm glad to have made the switch.
15
Yes, and I just traded in my car for a horse and buggy.
2
Give your phone up for Lent.
9
I am in my 50s and I have never owned a smart phone. It helps that I work from home, and I have a desktop computer, which I use a lot. Three or four years ago I bought a flip phone and I thought I had caved in to some futuristic fad. I like my flip phone, but honestly, I liked my land-line better. The connection was better. I can text on my flip phone, but it is a pain. I often have to press the same key three or four times to make the right letter appear. So I avoid texting. One nice thing about my flip phone is that it is not very distracting. And if I break it, as I once did, I can buy a used one for $30 or so. This is not to say I will never buy a smart phone, but I hope I can put off that day a few more years.
8
I agree with you. I would get a better sound quality land line phone but it costs more than my cell phone. An individual must be out of their mind to pay $1K for any kind of cell phone.
1
A year and a half to research this? Was the research also conducted on your phone?
17
You think this technology is distracting? Wait until virtual/augmented reality matures.
4
Another liberation: I no longer feel compelled to answer my phone every time it is called. If I do not recognize the number then I do not answer.
Since 95% of these are from ribo-calling telemarketers I donāt miss much. And if someone leaves a message, I MIGHT answer it.
When did we reach a point in our society that we were expected to respond to any incoming stimulus.
I also no longer obsess on trying to empty my email in box. I let people know that I currently have (some number, usually in the tens of thousands) of unread email messages in my in box. If something is important, then notify me via office phone and I can look for it. Once again, 95% of these are from unsolicited attempts to grab my attention. During the day I can sort of keep up with the flow, but of I were to spend my time clearing my in box I would have time for nothing else productive.
Of course, first thing in the morning I check for any messages from my boss and my bossās boss.
Goodbye guilt!
3
I was at dinner one night when a family of five came in and sat down . The first thing the mom did was put out her hand and collected all the cell phones and put them in her pocketbook. I was so impressed. Great example.
56
We recently had a family gathering where I put a basket at the front door with a big sign "cell phone parking." A few people dropped their phones in, but even those who kept the phones put them away. (One cousin said "I knew if I put my phone in the basket I'd forget it when I left, but I turned it off and put it in my pocket".) Success!!
4
Here's my much easier path to limiting my phone use: physical pain in my wrists and forearms. In the past month or so, it has become excruciating to use my phone. (I'm 33-- it's definitely not osteoarthritis from another source.)
The result: I listen to news podcasts rather than read on that tiny screen; I sometimes call family and friends instead of texting; and I pay less attention to email when I'm away from the laptop.
I also feel a lot more animosity towards the phone than I used to. Good (partial) riddance!
5
The time stolen by these infernal devices from children will affect this country from now on. Even doting young moms I know can't seem to break the smartphone habit.
I've seen a single parent with a table full of boys watching him scroll through his stupid messages - not one word was apparently being spoken most of the time the ''family'' was there.
6
Breaking up with some apps might be more to the point than breaking up with the phone entirely. I have to set time limits with games, but donāt worry about reading or listening to music too much.
I have a small art business and use photo apps together with Photoshop on my desktop, which makes my screen time astronomical on some days, and I wouldnāt change that. On the other hand, Iām not a heavy user of social media.
So be selective - some apps add to oneās life and some are like the mindless game-playing that some of us (mea culpa) must control!
6
This is a great piece of writing. It gives voice to my decision to terminate my Facebook account, which I did just last week.
Now if Melissa Clark would just cut down on the number of fantastic recipes she publishes on NYT Cooking, I could cut back on my PC time as well.
47
Most of this piece simply reframes arguments that were made about TV when it first became popular in the 1950's. And personal computers after that. We survived those and we'll probably get through this one too.
6
When the TV was introduced to the mass market in the 1950s, I seriously doubt that 99 percent of the population carried their TVs with them -- wherever they went: restaurants, nightclubs, movie theatres, walking down the sidewalk, driving 70 mph down a crowded highway, etc., etc.
40
We are accustomed to the television and feel comfortable with ignoring it far more than people will let that phone out of their hands. Yes, both steal time from the parents' top responsibility, but the sales job of popularizing apps and Facebook is still growing.
I applaud all these tech giant voices saying they refuse to let their kids have a social media presence. That is like a hand grenade left around the home with young teens.
9
I don't agree. And I make some of the same arguments against television. I think it's bizarre when you go to someone's home and the tv is left on 24-7, especially when young kids are around. You can see their attention is constantly dragged back to the omnipresent screen in the room.
2
A badly needed article! I'd add one more trick... change your screen to black and white. Several articles posted recently show how to do this.
https://lifehacker.com/change-your-screen-to-grayscale-to-combat-phone-a...
Going monochrome removes a layer of addictive "strawberry visual candy" and puts a phone back in it's place as a source of information. There's also way to change it back quickly if you need color.
12
Though I have a cheap cell phone I donāt have a TV. A few weeks ago I received, unsolicited, an I-Phone and a yearās service as a BD present. The thought was nice, thatās for certain, but so far Iāve been unable to activate itāI think about doing it but so far have resisted it. Maybe Iām mentally more healthy than I thought?
17
I was at a āgirlsā night outā the other night. It was a large lively group. We were talking happily over good food and wine. But about four hours into this real social connection, I had an urge to check my smart phone. I surreptitiously brought it out from its pocket and furtively ran through my app icons. I looked up to see my compatriots and, low and behold, several of them were doing the same thing! Had I opened the door, or were we all in the same subconscious schedule? After that, more women did so until, what became the end of the evening, everyone was on their phones.
Itās great to force yourself into good habits, but thereās the rest of the collective hive mind to contend with.
4
I have a Facebook account, but use it as a hobby, science topic, education and news "aggregator". I have a seemingly high friend count, but only "follow" my nieces and one of my sons (the other refuses Facebook and wife recently left it). I don't "follow" people on Facebook just as I don't follow them in real life.
2
Maybe they should change the word āfollowā to āstalkā.
3
I got off Facebook a year ago because it was too tough to see how well everyone else's lives were compared to mine. I was stunned to find 20 more hours a week to live my life. That's over 1,000 hours a year, or the equivalent of almost *60* 18-hour days. I'm glad to have two more months of living every year now, and will consider the points in this article to see how I can otherwise expand this.
32
I find it tough to realize everyone else has so many loving, supportive friends. Friends galore - by the hundreds and thousands!
My father always said something like "if a man [he should have said person but this was a long time ago] has 3 good friends by the time he dies he is a lucky man". Thats about the way it is for me - not counting my FB friends of course!
8
Facebook really CAN be depressing. I have to remind myself that it only feels like everyone is constantly doing lots of fun things because every day I can see SO MANY people's activities, and then I compare them to my own day or week or month which perhaps doesn't happen to be when I am doing anything that exciting.
1
Cancel all your social media accounts. Complete and utter waste of time.
61
I'm so glad people are starting to get sensible about their phones. I have a child on the brink of getting one and I really don't want to. I feel like I will lose her and she will stop reading as much. I plan to be very committed to limiting her time on them, at least at home. Living life is so much better than staring at a stupid screen. Use it as a tool, not as a lifestyle. Think about all the lame techbros raking in the bucks who have created these things that have taken us hostage! Now if we can do something about guns...
7
If you really don't want to, then don't! You're the adult in the relationship and the decision you make, especially if it's just to cave in to a child's desire, will send a message, and not a good one. If she truly needs one (you don't indicate the age here) then a flip phone will suffice. Parents need to set the example.
2
This article oversimplifies things and feels like a cheap tip from the "penny saver" circular.
6
I have a flip phone. It allows me to take (bad) pictures, text and call. Period.
It horrifies me to sit on the subway, in a museum, in a nice restaurant, a movie etc and see my fellow human beings drowning in their phones, oblivious to their surroundings or companions. They are lost in the world they have crafted on their phones, where everything that does not pertain to them is shut out and, like Narcissus, they can stare at themselves forever.
Smart phones are dangerously seductive and addictive. Designers make them do more and more things to draw users farther and farther in. If Mussolini or Hitler had lived in the time of smart phones, we'd all be speaking German.
To start, do not allow your smart phone into areas and times of your life when you would not welcome some other human being. Never, ever have it in your bedroom, or be on it after 9. Those are not 'public' times or spaces. Do not use it when your attention is needed elsewhere - work, driving, school or time spent with friends or family. Unless you are in some kind of crisis, you do not need to check it repeatedly. It is far more necessary to focus on the world and people around you.
Never forget that the people who design this technology are trying their best to make you dependent on it, to invade every crevice of your life for their own profit, to separate you from the distractions and messiness of actual life.
49
You mean I should say goodbye to the New York Times, The Atlantic, Vanity Fare, New Yorker, Al Jeezera, The Guardian, PBS and on and on and on? Or should I subscribe to them all? I said goodbye to Television and hello to my Macs 2 years ago. The best thing I ever did. The internet is a wonderful place - so much knowledge so easily available any time of the night or day! I am sure there are people who say telephones were a crazy invention - so much better to just talk over the back fence!
2
I agree with much of what you said. I lived in San Francisco for a couple of years. It's a gorgeous city and there's so much to see. While riding the buses (which I did a lot, both to and from work and everywhere else) I would look out the window fascinated by the scenery, whether natural (ah the bay) or mad-made (great architecture, always something to observe that I had missed even on a regular route). Most people were buried in their phones. I had no reason to bury myself in my flip phone. BUT eventually there were times when I simply had to text because it was the only way to communicate with some people. And texting on a flip phone truly sent me over the edge, so I gave in and bought a simple, inexpensive feature phone that had a keyboard. Now I have an Iphone but it's an older one... and I'll probably have it for a long time because it's plenty adequate. I still wouldn't look at if it I were lucky enough to be up there in San Francisco riding the buses (or in Boston or NYC or Chicago or Paris - you get the drift).
3
Hint: cold turkey works surprisingly well for most addictions.
9
Glue it to the wall where your old phone was.
96
BEST comment of the day. Kudos, sir. They make nice digital clocks, too.
6
I've never gotten addicted to my phone, and I think it's because I've never allowed social media to rule my life. I find the idea that I'm supposed to drool like Pavlov's dog every time my phone or computer dings actively offensive. I realize that, as the writer says, everything is designed to capture my attention because that is how they make money. But that is siphoning off my life so that someone else can profit from it. I already sell myself 8+ hours per day, the rest of the day is my time. But social media is designed to use human relationships to force you into compliance with their attention-seeking efforts. For someone who thinks that their Facebook friends constitute real relationships, the software is designed to be incredibly coercive. "You didn't like my post! Aren't we friends any more?"
So I just don't. I check Facebook about once a month, and maybe everybody thinks I hate them. I neither know nor care. I prefer to conduct my relationships in person. And I really, really, really don't like being coerced through my relationships to make Mr. Facebook rich guy what's-his-name richer!
15
Turn all notifications and alerts off. Turn the ringer and vibrate off completely at all times. Check the phone once in a while when it's convenient for you.
15
I love this, I knew I needed to do this and it only confirms. I have gotten back on social media apps but now I should go back to them being deleted.
6
There was a time when I taught at a private high school during the day and at a major university in the evenings. The high school had students of differing abilities and the university students were Ph.D. level. The culture at the high school greatly discouraged smart phones/laptops and most of the students did not own one, even at home.
What I noted was that overall the high school students seemed to have a somewhat better ability to focus and follow complicated progressions of arguments leading to understanding of logical concepts.
This massive neuro-developmental experiment of inundating children with electronic media may be having consequences that are detrimental and irreversible. If I were raising a child I would do my best to limit her or his exposure to electronic media.
10
I got into computers in the mid-80s, long before most people. I was on online forums in the early 2000s, way before Facebook and Twitter.
Now? After being a tech writer for 17 years in Silicon Valley, I've got my landline, a cellphone I almost never use, and my email.
I don't need to be connected to everyone and everywhere all the time. I do not understand why people feel that need.
17
I agree with Catherine about the increase use of phones in our lives, and itās kind of irritating to a point when the communication among people is getting lost. The technology around us is not only affecting relationships and communication but causing distractions while learning. simple and useful ways to reduce the use of phones in our daily lives given in the article are doable. I like the idea of avoiding the triggers by buying an alarm clock and charging phones outside the bedroom. The problem highlighted in the article is occurring around us and a lot of information is being researched. According to the research, 56% users use phone before sleeping and 75% uses after sleep. The article does include the ways to prevent the use of phones but has limited information about the scope of the problem. I think including more information about the scope can help people understand the issue more effectively. It will not just increase the understanding of the cause, but people can stop others or help others around them who are dealing with similar issues. We are becoming zombies in this technology era, and I do not support banning the technology but do agree to use it appropriately. I know it is hard to control it myself and sometimes I end up using my phone in the bedroom before and after sleep. I would thank Catherine for introducing the ways to control the addiction of phones.
1
Thank you for a thoughtful article. I am looking forward to trying out Relay, a screenless device from Republic Wireless based in North Carolina. Not sure when it will be available for sale ... check their website RelayGo.com regularly. From what I can tell it does what we need - allows me to stay in touch with my children, which is my primary purpose for my phone and the phones we gave to our twin girls.
So much has been written about screen time, but beyond apps to track time spent on screen and a handful of other similar approaches, not many solutions. Adults also serve as role models for kids.
We are first recognizing the anti-social and negative impact of this gigantic and awesome monster. Sociologically, it has altered how people behave, how they interact, how, where and which ways they drive and even how long they may stay, where they eat, shop, play and who they love (and for how long). It's a real drag sitting on the subway. It's hard to walk down the street because people are texting and aren't paying attention to the flow of walking ... distracted walking.
It's not all bad. It can save lives. It informs. It can bring joy. It can even help us meditate.
Like it, hate it, it's here, and throwing it out is reactionary and parochial. (I deleted my FB account because I found it tiresome, repetitive and whenever posts got serious, nobody "like" em. Kittens on vacuums? I'd rather be .... doing just about anything else.)
Power down, but don't throw out your iPhone. Read. (Apps are okay for this, yeah?) Meditate (when I'm not at my group meditation, I sometimes use an app for this!) Talk to people (if they're far away, FaceTime!)
Turn it off when you're having dinner with someone. Turn it off when you're talking with someone. Turn it off in class. Turn it off when you're having dinner. Turn it off when you're making love. Go analog at a certain time every evening. Add a few more "turn it off when's, and you'll have a game plan in place until artificial intelligence makes this all child's play.
6
I had this discussion with my daughter. I told her it's hard to be in the moment, being comfortable in you skin without the comfort of hiding behind the smart phone. I no longer pull it out automatically. My life is flying by and I want to SEE what is around me - to daydream.
3
Thank you for this. Like everything in life, one needs balance, but first comes awareness. I struggle with technology. Find myself scrolling thru Facebook, getting into inane debates with 'friends' I don't know and an hour later, I wonder where the time's gone? In car-crazy California, people constantly check their phones while driving. Why? I put away my phone during meals, but can't leave it home when walking the dogs. I worry how it's 'dumbing down' more and more Americans. Comforted knowing I'm not the only one struggling.
4
Knit...your hands and mind are engaged and something beautiful results!
12
Turn off your alerts for everything except phone calls. Then trade in for a smaller phone. Magically, you will find yourself much less interested in constant phone checking.
11
I traded down for an old iphone 5SE for that reason. I take calls and text. Thatās it
1
I have an iPhone SE and it suits me fine. My first smartphone was an iPhone 5. Never heard of an iPhone 5SE, though.
1
what is Facebook, Twitter, etc.? I have useful working apps on my phone including NYT digital, something for identifying barcodes(And it hardly ever comes in handy for identifying things at the thrift store), And I illuminated the smiley faces on my typing keyboard: Those Should be reserved for our Future ex president elect & should be used instead of his tweeting!
3
I long to have a Blackberry again! A tactile keyboard, things that don't fly off the screen when you touch it. I stopped reading after I got an iPhone and an iPad. I did become a photographer, but stopped listening to the radio and music. Got something, lost a lot. I gave the iPad to someone who couldn't afford one and replaced my iPhone with one I don't care for as much. I'm not doing as much photography now, but I am reading more and crying less about the time i waste on the phone. Sigh. Blackberry, Blackberry, Blackberry. Come home little Blackberry!
19
You can have a Blackberry! I still have the Curve and will use it until it falls apart in my hands.
At&t has the new models, or search on-line for the older, smaller ones.
Simply buy standard phone - pnly calls nad text messages - not smart phone with e-mails, messangeres, apps etc. :-)
6
Why would I want to do that?
3
Even better, read Dr. Sherry Turkle of MIT on this issue. She has researched the effects of technology on attention, empathy, etc., for over three decades. Try "Reclaiming Conversation" (2015).
13
But I am addicted to the New York Times App!!! Help me please.
59
As an elder, I do not answer my phone when I have visitors, or when my husband and I are talking. I quit facebook because I found it quite addictive. People call and wonder if I'm screening calls; no, I'm not answering anyone.
It is quite lovely to leave the house without my phone, to forget about where it is. What I do most of all is play cards on it. It is to serve me, not the other way around.
Of course, I'm old, so there is probably something wrong with me.
88
No way!!on the contrary, being old makes you more intelligent!
I appreciate the ideas in this column. Although I have never allowed phones at the family dinner table, and I firmly believe that the greatest benefits of a walk are spoiled by a a phone, there are still plenty of other ways to waste time on my phone or desktop. I need these reminders because I want to be aware of how valuable my time is.
4
Good advice except for "leave your phone at home while you go out for a walk." These phones can be 911 life-lines for oneself or others.
I have used mine to phone the police when a woman was being raped - and another time - out on a walk when I didn't have my phone - another woman was having a seizure in the middle of the street, and what was additionally concerning, was how many pedestrians didn't have their phones on them either.
It was beautiful day - and they all had the same thing in mind? "Unhook from your phones?"
Fortunately, after flagging one person after another - I found someone who did bring theirs along - and we were able to call for medics.
What was additional sad, however, was how the authorities treated the person using their phone to call for help for this woman possibly dying in the street. He was treated as if he was committing a crime.
Yeah, so by all means, unhook from your phones - but I'd take your phone on a walk - for your own sake as well as others. Just turn on the "Drive Mode" instead. Or turn it off.
4
When something beeps, rings, or burps at me from that object, my first reaction is never euphoria...it is "NOW what?!?"
Something is calling my attention to itself, with a high likelihood of being trivial or actually disruptive (advertising, etc.)
There are whole days when I have no need to look at the screen, really.
8
We can squeeze the rules to two: First and the last -- that is asking yourself if this the most I can get out of my life, which is connected withe last advice, as it reminds us that if the answer is 'No' then your are rushing toward death without living as you could. All other tricks follow from these two-in-one rule: Claim your LIFE!
No amount of reminding of rules will much help if one truly has less interest in others, whether it's your baby or friends or family. This principle is so basic that if we avoid it then the chances are you don't really enjoy others company as much as your phone because their connection is, too, shallow, or uninteresting. So before there is weaning off phone, there need to be interesting people to connect. We all can work toward becoming interesting when we love LIFE: it;s wonder, it's challenges, it's glimmers of joy.
5
As a high school teacher, phones are driving me crazy. They are a major obstacle to learning both in and out of the classroom. Students tell me that they are multi-tasking, but they don't understand that the brain is not truly capable of multi-tasking. It switches back and forth very quickly from thought to thought making the learning process highly inefficient, and making it very difficult to think deeply about a particular topic. They might tell me that they spent 30 minutes on their math homework, but, really, it was more like 10-15 minutes with a bunch of mini-breaks for texting, scrolling, gaming and watching YouTube videos. And, then, the next day, "Mr. Jameson, I don't get it." Of course not. They did not invest the time. They did not struggle through the deep, critical thinking required to truly learn a difficult concept.
102
I do see it all the time: people hiking, biking amongst beautiful redwoods and Going completely against the idea or reason one goes to visit such an area ā recreation - and stopping to get on their phone to search the Internet or whatever. Me, I use it to read the NYtimes and maybe Photo the engine model number instead of Trying to write a long part number down (The zoom lens is great for my one good eyeball, and brings it in the focus... enlarges it even!)
Now everyone is not healthy relationship with their phones. Ask yourself the question, when did you last the last few days without a mobile phone? Undoubtedly this gadget helps us simplify our life, but did you think about how it spoils it? In my company https://greatpaper.co.uk/ we once a week spend a day without mobile phones, we just in the morning collect all our gadgets in a big box and pick them up only at the end of the day. At first it was very uncommon and not convenient. But after that we began to hear each other better and communicate more, it helped us to properly strengthen our team.
11
Yesterday I thought I'd lost my cellphone.
My first thought: "Ugh. I'll have to buy another one so I can make a 911 call if it's ever necessary." That was my last thought on the topic, too.
Thank goodness, it turned up after a few panic-free hours.
1
I am so tired of the weak, "cartoony" illustrative style dominant these past few years in the NYTimes. I understand that 1.) the illustrators are under intense deadline; and 2.) likely not paid what pre-computer illustrators were years ago. But the resulting work is embarrassing to say the least. And this week it's made doubly weak with nearly identical concepts employed by two different illustrators for two separate articles (this article is "Well" by Miguel Porlan and last week's in "Technology" by Alexis Beauclair). Again, just embarrassing.
13
This is so spot on, and yet, so few comments. Guessing most can't be torn from their phones to write ...
26
Speak Iām reading this from my iPad as I speakā¦ Go figure
1
When I see someone else pull out their phone I physically cannot reach for my phone, my body won't let me. Makes me leave my phone in my pocket until I absolutely have to use it.
10
Breaking up with your phone? Excellent idea. The question is, how to do in practice what sounds sooo good in theory? As usual, easier said than done in this era where spectacle and immediate satisfaction defines us.
3
For me I've switched my iPhone screen to black & white. Its working wonders quelling that addictive feeling and zombie phone checks. As humans we are evolutionarily primed for bright color. Berries, flowers, eggs. Candy designers have known this for generations.
I'm afraid our society is heading toward a crisis similar to obesity with phones. The product designers of both consumer foods and apps have a goal of addiction. To lead us away from healthy content into short bursts of dopamine.
43
Students in our grade 3 and 4 academically gifted classes have each begun designing apps to quell "Apple Addiction." In our school district, every student, K-12, has been issued an Ipad. Although there are filters for the younger children, almost every teacher asked will report that they see an increasingly alarming number of kids already hooked, and over-connected. Eye contact and following a speaker's gesticulations are as outdated as the teaching of cursive; kids, like grown-ups, are having a tough time focusing on the "here and now."
8
interesting, although I like to keep mine with the highest contrast including colorEnhancements, extra contrast just to discern things for my feeble eyeball that will be complemented possibly mid March by getting The cataract finally fixed (second timeās a charm) in my left eyeball.
What a great idea! Iāll try it with my students, and include a control group. Thanks!
Just get a flip phone. Your whole life will change and you will miss NOTHING.
To get things done or look up info, have a laptop hardwired into a cable so you can't move it, at a desk (btw a cable is way faster). You'll be MUCH more productive, doing certain things at the proper time in a proper space.
Ever try and watch someone look something up on their phone or show you something? Always takes at least three tries and or a give up.
Smartphone = Biggest time wasting device and or Fear Of Missing out enabler ever invented.
92
That is my biggest pet peeve, when someone starts looking up something on their phone. Why? It stops the conversation in it's tracks. The energy slows down to a crawl. I can deal with someone getting photo to show but when someone brings up a video and says, 'here, watch this,' I think that's beyond rude and I just say, "I'm not interested."
7
I'm a senior citizen living without a car in a major city. I'm not on Facebook or Twitter, but need my Smart Phone to navigate the city (public transportation, Uber or Lyft, walking directions, etc.) It's not the device, it's a matter of self-discipline.
6
Problem for someone like me is GPS. I'm a smart guy, but I can't find my way out of a paper bag - it's always been this way - and unfortunately the GPS interface on flip phones is lacking. It's not just in the car either; I frequently need GPS guidance while walking around on foot.
3
I can understand the āfocus on what you could be doingā argument, but itās actually enforcing that that is the problem. My āTo Readā pile of books has grown at the same rate at which my concentration has plummeted, yet the number of times I have told myself āI will read more I will read moreā outweigh the actual reading hours.
Plus, I tend to read a lot of history or factual studies, so am frequently grabbing my phone to look up a new word Iāve encountered*, a personās history, a great event or a scientific theory. Then you allow yourself to get sucked down the whirlpool of investigating a Facebook notification, checking a news alert, suddenly thinking of a YouTube vid etc etc etc.
Forced separation is an excellent method, however. I tend to be more content when I just leave my phone charging upstairs and go elsewhere.
*Apropos: Todayās new word in my life is āhaarā, which is such a lovely word that I may have to use it more. Yesterday was a wet day with strong winds, with the haar scudding in out of the Channel and shrouding the cliffs.
22
At home I try to use my laptop instead of my iPhone for just about everything....easier on the eyes....and while I can still get distracted, it does seem easier to close windows, close laptop, and step away.
3
Problem is, for many people it's not just a phone. We're also hauling around a stopwatch, a clock, a calculator, an alarm clock, an address book and our calendar. Not to mention a fully functional computer! Everything that makes the phone so much more useful makes it so much harder to do without.
33
Phones are a great tool that can help us in our lives but like most tools they can be turned into weapons against life
22
Another tip: Right now the Nokia 3310 is $60 at Best Buy. If you're in an environment that you don't need your smartphone (see, most of the time) try putting your sim in a dumb phone.
12
āLife is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the small uncaring ways.ā ~Stephen Vincent Benet
153
It's not you, it's me....
3
Reading the ny times is my biggest "time waster" on my my phone .... Ha! Also as an encyclopedia while reading books .... i.e. Tangential reading or listening (music), something one cld never do before. But, yes, this is an excellent article. But someone shld explore the tangential reading that is made possible by this technology .... Used to be called Google-jockeying i believe. It has real value, i think.
8
How many of these articles do we need? There are links to three others like it at the bottom of the page.
2
I think we need a new one every single day.
4
one more reason. what parents model is infinitely more powerful than what they say. you on phone = your child on phone. instead demonstrate life is good on its own without digital enhancement.
16
I must be the correct age.
While I love my iPhone X, I am not in its thrall.
At dinner it's in another room. At Starbucks it's in my purse. I like to people watch. Yeah, I use the alarm. I use the flashlight. I play Scrabble on it. I have alerts for Calendar events + text messages. Takes better selfies than any previous iteration. I particularly like Stage Light, with flash enabled, which is very dramatic.
I simply do not feel compelled to check it a million times a day. I am actually grateful to it, for it has freed me from my lifelong compulsion to carry a 20 pound camera bag everywhere. Even today, I have not looked at it once, unless you count feeling around in the dark this morning for the Off Alarm.
I spend far more of my life on one laptop or another. Only in a pinch will I read the NY Times on my iPhone. Prefer a laptop.
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Terrific article - canāt wait to read the book!
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I practice Tech Sabbath. It's fascinating. Hard at first, then totally liberating by the end of the day. Getting back online is a little unpleasant--letting the flood of bits and bytes back in.
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I'm 26. I grew up with a phone. I try to consciously stay off it after work because it feels rude to bring it when I'm with other people and I don't want to spend a ton of time on it a day. My phone is my alarm, and I'm not about to completely remove social media apps, but here are some additional things that I find helpful:
1. Delete Facebook. Entirely.
2. Keep your phone on silent and designate times to respond to anything that comes up.
3. Leave your phone in your locker while you are at the gym/working out.
4. Do not leave your phone on the bar top or table while with people.
It doesn't have to be drastic, but these few things keep in the moment.
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Your second suggestion is great!
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Tatum, you are completely right. Another tip is if you have trouble with checking your email to much, (this works for gmail) you can pause your inbox so that you don't get any email, but when you unpause it, you can see your new emails. Also when someone emails you it will automatically reply to them saying" My inbox is paused but I will get back to you as soon." I also believe that once you pause you inbox you can't unpause it on you phone so you have to get back on the computer and unpause it which is kind of a pain, so you don't do it.This is just a little feedback that helps me.
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I don't have any social media apps on my phone, I do not tweet, I do not text, I occasionally check my mail and read the news when I wait at a doctor's office. Yet, my search for a reliable "phone" is still going on. A brand new Nokia I purchased on Amazon did not work on T-Mobile. I truly wish the manufacturers start offering phones like the old bar or flip phones. I do not have any problem with constantly checking the phone, but I long for a small device that functions just as a p-h-o-n-e, no e-mail. I don't use text anyway and I would like people to call me if they want to contact me.
1
You can buy one anywhere for under 50 bucks.
I did! I love the Nokia C2 and the lack of temptation to check the e-mail. The extensive battery life lasting for days and the phone reception being better than my former Galaxy S7 Edge are welcome bonuses! I am off the smartphone!
I, too, recently, deliberately decreased my habitual checking of my phone. The advice the author presents here is excellent.
7
Well, I almost have enough credit card rewards to buy the cheapest iPhone, so it can "relate" to my much-used MacBook. I get by fine with my little pay-as-you go burner phone, but today was the last straw. My credit card company could not verify who I was since I could not receive a text without having to hang up.
I'm hoping I don't get addicted, but I've already bitten into the gateway
drug-apple that is making life so wonderful.
1
I'm all for less time on the i-phone. Can I have now my laptop back?
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Agree with Adb's point. What if I spent all my "phone" time reading Tolstoy or solving differential equations? It isn't the phone - it is what you are doing on the phone. We need to better understand why we love to consume empty digital calories and why we need to be distracted all the time.
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I remember the first truly portable phone we got. It was great for me, as now I had a way for daycare to contact me when I wasn't around a phone. I had 3 small children at the time. So great! Then, my red lotus flip phone, no texting capability! But such a great phone! Now I am trying to keep my smart phone as long as possible and feel lucky that I grew up without such things. My kids laugh at me and I just tell them I'm a 20th century person! But, I'm not tied to it either and no one is allowed to have their phone out at any table, home or restaurant. I love my phone, love duo linguo language apps, love playing neko atsume, enjoy not having to bring my written calendar with me, but there is a time and place for everything.
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Maybe only certain apps are the problem. I mostly use my phone at times when, in the past, I would have been reading a newspaper or a book. Which is what I'm doing with my phone right now. So, what's the difference?
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Eh, it's all about balance. But some people can never achieve that balance and in those cases abstinence is a better choice. Before smartphones, for me it was portable music players. I got a walkman when I was 10. From that point until my mid twenties I would listen to music practically ever second I could. I then came to the conclusion that sometimes silence is even better. Allowing our minds to wonder and go over the recent events in our lives is important. It seems that today people listen to music constantly AND stare at their phones. I think we can find a direct correlation between success and happiness in life when we spend more time creating instead of consuming. And it is hard to create when you bombard yourself with constant distraction.
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really good point! used to listen to music a lotā¦ Vinyl records first grateful dead then it graduated to jazzā¦ Straightahead. Now, itās classical and still Iām an audio file but sometimes I like quiet havenāt listen to those final records for half a century now (just kidding Iām not that infant, I said ancient not infant! Get it right Siri! Thatās another thing I donāt type anymore either I dictate to myā¦ Digital assistantā¦ Siri voice to text feature of this iPad
Watch the movie "Her"... It is quite disturbing and unfortunately very close to reality. Sure, apps and operating systems are not that lifelike (yet) in the real world, but the relationship between man and machine is quite similar to reality.
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Several years ago, in the context of choosing a new years resolution, someone at the NYT suggested not walking while looking at your phone. The practice is dangerous and disrespectful to those around you. I took up that challenge and am happy I did so. I'm successful most of the time..... Thank you, NYT.
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I recently bought a wrist watch after 15 years of not wearing on. I was amazed at how much easier it was to keep my phone in my pocket.
9
Perhaps 5-6 years ago, my wife and I developed the very bad habit of both ending up in bed at night with our respective laptops. Rather than talking to one another, we would turn on the television and barely listen to it as we each typed feverishly on our projects. It was generally legitimate work at first, but then we both would invariably end up on social media, reading the news, etc.
We looked at one another one fateful evening and just started laughing at how ridiculous we were being. Immediately the next day, we removed the television from the bedroom and made it a hard and fast rule that we could only use our laptops in our home office from that point forward.
It seemed like a great solution, until the smartphones ended up being the same way: pervasive in our homes, eventually sneaking into the bedroom.
Thus, just before Christmas, we agreed that our smartphones would also be relegated to our home office and could only be used in the office, while standing, with the phone tethered to its charging cable.
The difference that this ridiculously small step has made in our home life cannot be overstated. We actually TALK to one another much more, we cook dinner together without interruption, and the vaunted FOMO has not, in fact, occurred even once.
I know that more people will say that this simply cannot work for them due to work commitments, children, and other expectations/obligations, but it works for us and I'm grateful for it.
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Iām going to try to remember to ask Alexa to set a timer for me when on the phone.
3
It's a phone. Try treating it as such. You know the thing you make and receive phone calls with.
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I do miss my (thrift store special) Motorola Razr! Except the batteriesAlways going dead
Two words: thank you.
10
That's all well and good, but you guys at The New York Times need to realize that a lot of us are reading YOU on our phones. Every morning and evening on the subway, I'm reading your articles on my iPhone. You ok with thousands of us suddenly stopping that?
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Oh how hard it is to remember the ancient pre-smartphone era of 10 years ago, when people read the print edition on the subway. Like so many other things that people now do on their phones, your smart phone is actually not required to do it.
4
Good point. I'm all for being a phone addict when it comes to reading on one, which offers countless advantages over paper (font size and brightness control are just two of them).
3
I'm so glad you brought up this point. In most, if not all, articles decrying the excessive use of smartphones, their use as a spectacular tool for reading is never mentioned. Why not focus on that? Many people say they don't like reading from a screen. Why not? It's great! You can adjust the size of the font and the brightness, which is impossible to do when reading a paper book. I wish there were more articles teaching people, for example, how to transfer texts from the web to free apps that enable them to read offline and adjust the features I mentioned above and maybe others. I'm sure that, if more people were aware of the level of control they could have over their reading experience both off- and online using their devices, subscriptions to all media outlets would go way up. In my deathbed, I'm sure I won't lament not using Facebook more often, but, if my retirement doesn't come soon enough, I'll sure regret not reading more on my phone.
3
I think like a lot of addicts, my brain/phone has convinced me that dependence is pleasure/happiness. I had a forced break for a week and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I got done (not just obviously productive things but also a lot of walking and gardening). I now have an alarm clock in my room and have decided that the phone needs to stay outside at night. I still have the odd compulsive check (i.e, quite regular, especially when stressed at work), but I'm defiitely reading more and engagine in active pleasures rather than the passive pleasure/addiction of phone use.
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As a reading teacher, I am most concerned about the language development and vocabulary of children whose parents are distracted by their phones. When I see parents pushing their babies in strollers and staring at their screens, my heart breaks just a little. That used to be time for the parent and child to bond and interact and that child's brain would be stimulated and grow. Now, who knows...
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I so agree with you. II see every day plenty of parents with strollers on their phones. The kids are just sitting in strollers in silence, staring into space. Before phones even if the parent didn't keep a running conversation going---at least they would talk to some extent. Now, long periods of sllence, with the parent totaly absorbed in the phone.
Maybe the kid at least overhears the parent talking to someone else on the phone---but what do they get out of that? Better than silence?
But in the supermarket there seems to be more kid/parent conversation about what foods to buy. The parents ask the kids which do they want, and the kids ask for things they like, and they discuss. The parents don't read their phones while food shopping.
2
When I see parents walking with their kids or pushing them in strollers, all the while talking on or scrolling through their phones, my heart breaks too... not just a little, but a LOT.
2
No, Phone, donāt say that; donāt ever say that. It was not āall lies.ā What we had together was incredible: it was true and pure and beautiful and virtual, and weāll always have that. Sometime, things just run their course and come to a natural end. Iāve given so much thought to how we could keep us connected. But maybe our data plan was too perfectātoo perfect for this world: otherworldly. What we were so briefly fortunate to share has escaped our grasp, slipped away, returned to that part of the electronic ether from whence it came. Some people will live out their online lives and never experience what we have. I love you, Phone. Iāve never loved you more than at this moment. And I want it back, but itās gone. Weāre back on earth. We want different things. And the one thing we both wanted has been taken from us. It makes me angry at Facebook, that Facebook is stronger than both of us. Our love was not our choice: it was never in our hands. And now itās out of our hands. Iāve lost you, and I donāt know when Iāll get over it. Itāll take time for us both. Yet Iād say, Phone, that we were the luckiest consumer and device on earth.
18
I find that less phone time is always better. I used to think that any free time in my life shouldn't be wasted and should be consumed with my phone. Using apps like Moment, I watch my phone time now and keep it down to actual tasks. We all need to be present in the moment!
5
I just read your book and loved it! The SPACE app is very helpful. I have been trying really hard to work out and eat right to avoid Alzheimer's disease, which runs in my family. It seems like a divorce from the phone/slot machine can only be a step in the right direction for my brain health. I'm feeling much more optimistic about life now, I hope the world grabs on to this "techlash" and we all embrace the trend that is human interaction. (Have you read Touch by Courtney Maum? Hmmm.)
3
I tried to warn all the kids and parents I knew back in the early part of the century. I grew up when the most powerful form of connection one carried with ones home was a silver dime(or two nickels). Having a phone-and later a TV set and camers, may make some moms and kids feel comfortable but in the end all it does is to isolate the individual-pftenan 8 or ten year old kid-who needs to learn about the world and the activities going on among other people. Humans are, as I learned in college "a gregarious species" andthe intervention of a radio-tv-camera-tracking system which plus the ears and distracts the eyes, will end up merely i\solating us from one another. Humans have no equipment in their set of senses for long distance communications and so, can live without them. However, one cannot meet and have a real relationship with a member of the opposite sex nor can one make a family, via computer link. Had we known this was the ultimate direction the ARPANET would take us in, we 'd have been justified in smashing almost all our portable computers and returning everyone to pencils and paper. Maybe we still ought to undo the damage . . ,
3
Thank you.
I could feel how hard youāve been trying to handle with the cell phone.
Last year, I started to see through myself, who checked the phone lots of time. I tried to come up with ideas to get me away from the phone.
And almost all of your solutions are similar to what Iāve been doing.
In fact, the answer is always simple, but as much as it is simple, it is so hard to keep up with it..
Everytime, everymoment, I have to fight with myself who is impulsive..
5
I like an app called "Forest". Basically you plant a digital tree in the app on your phone and choose how long you want it to grow. If you exit the app during that time the tree dies. If you grow enough digital trees, you can have a tree planted in real life. You can tag your tree growing time so you see your little "forest" at the end of the day and can see how much time you spent working or reading or whatever tags you choose rather than looking at your phone. I do use my phone as an alarm clock, but I set a tree to grow when it's bedtime so I won't do that thing where you decide to look "one more time" and end up on your phone way past your bedtime for no reason.
46
Thank you, I'm going to share this article with my HS students. And my 13YO.
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Feel free to be in touch directly if you want suggestions for how to work it into a school contextāthere's a contact form at phonebreakup dot com and I'd love to brainstorm!
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