Processing this reorganizes my priorities. Reach out. Its not enough for us to feel satisfied alone. We're here to make, nurture and keep our friendships. I know someone who said hello and engaged everyone he met. He made community. We must be meant to do that. I need to make plans.
34
His life seems quite quiet one and he may not have valued it, but look how much he influenced others' lives! I am sure he didn't imagine how much he influenced other people. Now, he is still doing it someone like me more than one year after he passed away. Every life matters.
16
I can feel for George Bell. Thanks partly to this exceptional write, and partly because I know how painful the whole social collective can be for some of us. He seemed selective and solid with whom he chose to share anything, until everything material--meaning sooner or later we lose all control over our space whether it's a palace or a hovel. I suspect Mr. Bell pondered the probability of meeting such an end in his apartment. That might have saddened him, or he might have welcomed it compared to wasting away in a hospital room. I just don't feel that his life was devoid of substance or choices. I noticed that his music collection was orderly, unless someone tidied it up before they took the picture. He made some nice choices.
14
Tears streamed my face reading this. How some of us get caught up in a life alone is just wrong on so many levels. People claim they care they will do this or they will do that but it's not for the George Bells of the world it's for themselves. It's just sad George had money and he never used it to go places to live and enjoy life instead leaving most to people he had never met. It's so sad life and death. How can God love us and let us live and die such as this. George was in love with his loving parents that seems he was very close to. Strange how the one woman he was in love with her mom ruined the relationship over money and George left her estate money instead. Just goes to show one who she would have married. George was a good man. The world needs more George Bells we just need to take care of them better with our love and friendship no matter how they refuse it at first. God this was a touching story of a man with so much to give but so lonely in life.
18
Great piece of journalism.
26
I appreciate the Times keeping the comments section open. I first heard about this story on NPR. Now that I have read Mr. Bell's story and, the stories of the people who handled the aftermath of his death, I am reexamining how I attend to people in my life.
I am grateful to Mr. Kleinfield for reporting on the life Mr. Bell did live. It helped ease the incredible sadness in every other aspect of the story. He had a support system, but Mr. Bell chose not to use it. What his life devolved into is so unfortunate.
I realize how lucky we are when we have family and friends and colleagues. Also, one of the things I picked up on is that Mr. Bell quit learning. I'm going to make sure my two kids in college read this story. Life long curiousity keeps you engaged, keeps you healthy.
I am grateful to Mr. Kleinfield for reporting on the life Mr. Bell did live. It helped ease the incredible sadness in every other aspect of the story. He had a support system, but Mr. Bell chose not to use it. What his life devolved into is so unfortunate.
I realize how lucky we are when we have family and friends and colleagues. Also, one of the things I picked up on is that Mr. Bell quit learning. I'm going to make sure my two kids in college read this story. Life long curiousity keeps you engaged, keeps you healthy.
12
First you die, then people divvy up your junk. Got it.
5
I think the photos of George Bell's apartment portray a man who was very depressed. I hear about (and know) people who just want to remain a pampered child and not experience life. I think not having deep relationships through children or a spouse or a significant other may have taken their toll on this man's mental health. As far as the money and possessions: enjoy your life; it can be cut short at any time. No one respects the money as much as the person who earned it so make sure you know who is getting it. If you do not have living relatives or friends you know who will enjoy an inheritance then give to an admirable charity to better someone else's life.
9
I appreciate this article. Well done work by all. This type of information is needed much more in mainstream society than the Kardashians and all those similar who take up the mainstream.
Very good work by Kleinfield.
Very good work by Kleinfield.
16
captivating.
great story. makes me stop and think about my later years and how i want to spend them, and with whom.
amazing storytelling. great work Mr. Kleinfield :)
great story. makes me stop and think about my later years and how i want to spend them, and with whom.
amazing storytelling. great work Mr. Kleinfield :)
10
We often think about life but don't pay attention to the details of death and what occurs afterwards. Reading this I had a mixture of feelings: sadness, fear, appreciation. We can learn a lot from how others live their lives.
9
Death is a great mystery and seems it is always lonely despite of how many relatives are around the deathbed. Understanding of this makes the feeling of life more sharper.
7
Thanks a lot,for the wonderful,article, great research. moving, yet factual and to the point. It teaches one a lot about old age, pain, hidden pain, solitude and life in a big city these days. Please, keep writing for all of us!
7
It was startling to think how many George Bell's must be out there. And goes to show that you should never stop living each day, and also continue to make connections with others. In the end, I am happy that the man who took care of Mr. Bell's cremation showed him the respect he deserved.
While I found the article fascinating, I didn't really care for the style of it. Kleinfield wrote it a bit to melancholy for its own sake in my opinion. For example, "He cleaned George Bell’s apartment wearing the dead man’s boots." I get the garish/ironic imagery, but can't we all agree that we are ultimately glad the cleaner man got a new pair of boots? Isn't that what it's all about, life goes on. I understand he was trying to shock the reader, but it became a little dramatic. And he seemed obsessed with people's weight: 'meaty face,' 'obesity,' how big of a guy George was, how his weight had ballooned, how George's ex lover died obese, and George would need 3 meals to feel full. ... maybe he was trying to make a connection between obesity and dying alone. I don't know.
While I found the article fascinating, I didn't really care for the style of it. Kleinfield wrote it a bit to melancholy for its own sake in my opinion. For example, "He cleaned George Bell’s apartment wearing the dead man’s boots." I get the garish/ironic imagery, but can't we all agree that we are ultimately glad the cleaner man got a new pair of boots? Isn't that what it's all about, life goes on. I understand he was trying to shock the reader, but it became a little dramatic. And he seemed obsessed with people's weight: 'meaty face,' 'obesity,' how big of a guy George was, how his weight had ballooned, how George's ex lover died obese, and George would need 3 meals to feel full. ... maybe he was trying to make a connection between obesity and dying alone. I don't know.
5
Please make a movie out of this story. Like a real, philosophical, raw movie, that doesn't have a fluffy ending.
8
Well I was enjoying this article till the fish story. Really, did you have to put that in? I guess that just about told me all I needed to know about this guy and I read no more.
2
I felt transported by a magic carpet into George's world and transfixed over the details of a life lived and so forgotten. The author's poetic documentary writing has touched me deeply with its nostalgic and melancholic notes that speak so eloquently to the human condition.
.
I don't know whether to cry or smile.
.
I don't know whether to cry or smile.
7
One of the most well written stories I've ever read. This story stopped me in my tracks as I was mindlessly going through my inbox. Thanks for helping me keep my life and my place in the community, in a balanced perspective.
7
The lonely death of Mr Bell is too common--the number of people age 65+ who are becoming isolated is growing. No one should have to live or die alone. Thank you for shining a light on this often invisible concern. Check out ways to prevent this tragedy at www.aarpfoundation.org.
2
This story is great. Sad, but the writer worked it into a very readable piece of work. I fibish it with a decent view of how his life might have been.
I bet his mom made him things no other kid had and might well have brought home some toys from work that she knew he'd like. George loved his dad and probably missed him more after his mom died.
I read fiction where people just give up on finding life partners but these cases always puzzle me. Surely there was someone? Was the drinking a stopper every time?
I go to doctors but I also know a lot of tough guys who detest admitting they need attention from one. I can imagine him gritting his teeth going to have the glucose and orthopedic issues seen to.
And, we can see him listening to the doctor or nurse's lecture about the lliquor and its effect on the diabetes. Interestingly, I guess he dodged smoking, so perhaps he didn't spent time in the South.
Perhaps some of us can look him up in the next place and we can toast parents and friends. Thanks a lot, Kleinfeld. Ya done good.
I bet his mom made him things no other kid had and might well have brought home some toys from work that she knew he'd like. George loved his dad and probably missed him more after his mom died.
I read fiction where people just give up on finding life partners but these cases always puzzle me. Surely there was someone? Was the drinking a stopper every time?
I go to doctors but I also know a lot of tough guys who detest admitting they need attention from one. I can imagine him gritting his teeth going to have the glucose and orthopedic issues seen to.
And, we can see him listening to the doctor or nurse's lecture about the lliquor and its effect on the diabetes. Interestingly, I guess he dodged smoking, so perhaps he didn't spent time in the South.
Perhaps some of us can look him up in the next place and we can toast parents and friends. Thanks a lot, Kleinfeld. Ya done good.
1
This is a fascinating story about a governmental function that we rarely encounter first-hand or even have reason to think about. But it is perplexing that, once Mr. Bell was identified as an Army veteran, his fingerprints couldn't be located in federal databases.
7
Good story, lots to think about, but I found the writing style hackneyed, unoriginal, and overwrought. The editors could also have used sharper pencils.
3
Thank you this fine piece ... illuminating the story of a lonely death and the work of so many to assemble the pieces.
3
What's most heartbreaking to me is that Eleanore Albert's mother ruined their proposed marriage and what could have been his last chance for happiness and a better life. They should have ignored her and married anyway! How sweet that they always kept in touch and he left her money though.
10
That's one of those "what if" questions that can never be answered. It's just as possible that the mother suspected he wasn't good match for her daughter and that's why she wanted a prenup, which wasn't all that common in that era. Instead of a lifetime of happiness, there could have been a messy divorce and enduring bitterness. Just sayin'. What leaves me wondering is how the management of the man's coop apparently had no idea about how he was living.
2
Alright, guys, listen up: as soon as a time machine gets invented, one of us hurries back to that day - pick up Kleinfeld to go with you - and tell Mrs. Albert or whatever that this dude dies leaving a fortune. Presto! Problem solved.
1
What an excellent article - thank you NYT!! I would never have imagined that I would enjoy so much and learn so much from a story like this. Very well done. I will definitely make some changes in my life as a result.
7
I live alone and have for many years. I am almost never lonely. My affaires are in order and I always keep my house clean and tidy and wear eye makeup to bed in case I die in the night. I love my life and it feels full to me. Please leave poor George to rest in peace!
17
George's demise reminds me of many of those who perished during the summer heat wave of 1995 in Chicago. Most were elderly and socially isolated.
Different from George however, most were also indigent and could not afford air conditioning, or were afraid to use it, for fear it would, "run up their bill".
Although many had close relatives, most chose to live out their day to day existence alone.
A article written some time after the fact profiled many of the individuals.
At one point during the scorching heat, in a building full of studio apartments, a crowd gathered outside the door of a female who had been found unresponsive .
A passer by joined the crowd to inquire what was happening. It was the deceased woman's sister. She lived on another floor. Each lived alone in the same building, yet had little contact with one another.
I know more than one George. No longer married men who live alone and on their own terms. Those of us who are highly sociable and engaged with relatives and friends continuously implore, and try to cajole them to be much more in touch, but to no avail.
At this point however, they do answer the door when you stop by.
But back to George.
How mystic is it that even though he hesitated to sign a prenuptial agreement, he subsequently signed a will leaving Eleanor (her estate) a bounty. Their love left a legacy.
Different from George however, most were also indigent and could not afford air conditioning, or were afraid to use it, for fear it would, "run up their bill".
Although many had close relatives, most chose to live out their day to day existence alone.
A article written some time after the fact profiled many of the individuals.
At one point during the scorching heat, in a building full of studio apartments, a crowd gathered outside the door of a female who had been found unresponsive .
A passer by joined the crowd to inquire what was happening. It was the deceased woman's sister. She lived on another floor. Each lived alone in the same building, yet had little contact with one another.
I know more than one George. No longer married men who live alone and on their own terms. Those of us who are highly sociable and engaged with relatives and friends continuously implore, and try to cajole them to be much more in touch, but to no avail.
At this point however, they do answer the door when you stop by.
But back to George.
How mystic is it that even though he hesitated to sign a prenuptial agreement, he subsequently signed a will leaving Eleanor (her estate) a bounty. Their love left a legacy.
6
There is a huge difference from being lonely and being alone. From all of the extraordinary information concerning the aftermath of George Bell's death, there is absolutely nothing that suggested he was lonely. Many people live their lives alone and die alone by choice. Discovering his substantial estate and giving it to people he either didn't know or people he hadn't even seen in many years helped preserve the income stream for a huge group of New York City trough feeders. Many folks profited from Big George's strange choices.
3
I first read this story a couple of days ago, with admiration for the writing and with great interest. Today I revisited it, looked at the pix closely (a prescription bottle in the kitchen trash, the many slivers of soap by the sink) and had a different reaction. How terribly disrespectful of a human being! The fact that he was so alone in the world made it possible for NYT to violate his privacy completely, shamelessly. Like he was publicly flayed.
5
The pictures illustrated a severe psychiatric disorder, which regrettably seems to be increasingly common. Mr. Bell is gone, but the story and pictures might create an incentive to check up on "old friends" that drop off the grid, and for building managers to be more aware of what's happening in their properties.
2
George Bell's life and death are nothing new in the history of man and should neither be disparaged nor viewed in a patronising way.
To those among the New York Times readers who feel that they are in some way superior to George Bell and may avoid his fate, I would remind them of a couple of quotes from English literature.
John Donne; 1572 to 1631. "No man is an island entire unto himself", with the ending of this poem being "Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee."
Also John Bradford; 1510 to 1555. "There but for the grace of God, go I".
No-one knows how they are going to die. George laid his head down and went to sleep peacefully.
How do you think the people who jumped from the World Trade Center in 2001 to avoid being burned alive felt? I think they all would have preferred George's death from natural causes.
To those among the New York Times readers who feel that they are in some way superior to George Bell and may avoid his fate, I would remind them of a couple of quotes from English literature.
John Donne; 1572 to 1631. "No man is an island entire unto himself", with the ending of this poem being "Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee."
Also John Bradford; 1510 to 1555. "There but for the grace of God, go I".
No-one knows how they are going to die. George laid his head down and went to sleep peacefully.
How do you think the people who jumped from the World Trade Center in 2001 to avoid being burned alive felt? I think they all would have preferred George's death from natural causes.
6
My family came from Italy. My grandmother said ,"in America, you can die and no one would find you for a month." Grandma was right. Aloneness doesn't necessarily mean loneliness. You could look at a couple of different ways. On the one hand, we are all existentially alone whether we live in the city or country , with or without the company of others. Or, while we are all alone -we are all connected to each other in a very deep way. I think this story was well done and respectful to Mr. Bell and to all of us as human beings. The many responses to this article shows that it resonated with so many of us. Don't you just love the NY times !
7
Fascinating, moving story . Thank you!
2
Great writing. Evokes Gay Talese.
1
By N. R. KLEINFIELD
OCTOBER 17, 2015 over 1600 heartfelt comments within two days of the article. Testament enough to Mr Kleinfield's sensitive and respectful narration of a 'common man' and on the other hand the extraordinary detail, length and judicious manner in which the government respected this man's will and ensured that he ended his life with dignity though alone. Mr Klienfield please teach younger journalists he art of research and writing. Truly my hub and and I have not read anything quite like this before. We are sitting in a restaurant in the Balkans and have not spoken to each other as we read on.
OCTOBER 17, 2015 over 1600 heartfelt comments within two days of the article. Testament enough to Mr Kleinfield's sensitive and respectful narration of a 'common man' and on the other hand the extraordinary detail, length and judicious manner in which the government respected this man's will and ensured that he ended his life with dignity though alone. Mr Klienfield please teach younger journalists he art of research and writing. Truly my hub and and I have not read anything quite like this before. We are sitting in a restaurant in the Balkans and have not spoken to each other as we read on.
10
This is a wonderfully written piece. I, too, live alone and do not socialize much. I don’t really care too. But I still have my parent, Facebook, etc. It appears Mr. Bell had none of this.
It’ve noticed that in our ever increasing connected world we in some ways are becoming more disconnected. We make and keep friends through internet contacts rather than in social gatherings. We post on articles like this, engage in debates on blogs and forums, share video and audio on social media platforms...we do everything but physically interact with one another.
I do not know if this is a good, bad, or indifferent social development, but it’s one worth studying.
It’ve noticed that in our ever increasing connected world we in some ways are becoming more disconnected. We make and keep friends through internet contacts rather than in social gatherings. We post on articles like this, engage in debates on blogs and forums, share video and audio on social media platforms...we do everything but physically interact with one another.
I do not know if this is a good, bad, or indifferent social development, but it’s one worth studying.
3
Let's see now, G. Bell had friends, owned his apartment, recently secured a passport, talked to the neighbors, frequented the local bar and occasionally talked on the phone and had a car to make some pit-stops.
While he had health issues near the end resulting in a change in his personal appearance and some habits like the hoarding, he was no sad sack.
-----
I have a great high-paying job, deal with clients and colleagues on a daily basis and attend family events in other states, but I live alone, and I noticed that middle age means that as my work schedule became more hectic as I moved up the ladder, relationships and activities changed, so my phone is not as active as it was 10 years ago. In fact, its real quite when I get home.
It can happen to me too.
While he had health issues near the end resulting in a change in his personal appearance and some habits like the hoarding, he was no sad sack.
-----
I have a great high-paying job, deal with clients and colleagues on a daily basis and attend family events in other states, but I live alone, and I noticed that middle age means that as my work schedule became more hectic as I moved up the ladder, relationships and activities changed, so my phone is not as active as it was 10 years ago. In fact, its real quite when I get home.
It can happen to me too.
11
beautifully written. just goes to show how important it is to keep your friends and family close. they are the ones who keep your sanity intact.
3
a homage to life and love. I take my hat off to you. Merci.
8
Pulitzer. Automatic. A lock. Incredible heartbreaking story. Thank you, NYTimes.
11
I wonder if George might still be alive and far less lonely than he was, had Eleanore's mother not demanded a prenuptial agreement. This article is a tour de force, a big, human story, and a tremendous work of journalism. Thank goodness for The New York Times and its editors, also, for publishing the kind of story so rarely found on news pages, these days. Very fine work from Sonny Kleinfield. And also Josh Haner, the photographer.
9
For a man who died alone and unknown, and was given a funeral to which no one came, you sure did honor his memory with this sensitive article.
13
Great article, and as is often the case, many readers' comments, reflecting so many diverse takes on the piece, are not quite but almost as interesting. A number argue that George was not depressed over being so isolated in his last years, but my read on him, as hoarder myself, is that he almost surely was. I think George's life greatly worsened at the point when he stopped having friends over to watch TV and eat, & seeing photos of his apt. in the end I understand why that stopped. He had let clutter crowd in and his living conditions degrade to the point that he was too ashamed to let others see it any longer. I identify because I've always lived alone and that is what I have done, too. I'm employed, functional, capable, and presentable enough outside my home, but I know full well that any intelligent person seeing the inside of my house would recognize mental illness -- depression -- instantly. It's something one doesn't want witnessed or widely known, the humiliation is too great. So I've allowed neither family nor friends into my house for quite a few years now. My friends, like George's, know they may not come by and know not to broach the idea. My nieces living 100 miles away are now young women and my single greatest sorrow about this is they haven't been allowed to visit since they were small. My home doesn't approach the squalor we see in George's -- the man who lived in that was VERY unhappy -- but it's bad enough, & it is what we're too ashamed to reveal.
15
Please get some help, you don't have to suffer. Hire a cleaning company to help with the task so it isn't unamanageable.
Sincerely, a person with depression, who if I lived alone I would likely be a hoarder out of laziness.
Sincerely, a person with depression, who if I lived alone I would likely be a hoarder out of laziness.
6
O'Claster...Your life doesn't have to stay this way. Put aside your shame and call for help. Don't waste another day imprisoned by old habits and your clutter. It is never too late, and I encourage you to call a private or county therapy center. And google hoarding organizations that may lead you to local specialists. You want to welcome, and spend time with your nieces, in your home, and you CAN do that. We can all change, and this article shows how stark a life can be without close family and friends coming to visit. You are obviously intelligent. A new journey begins with a single step. Take it.
11
I so enjoyed this story. Thank you for the extensive research and time that went into writing this and the photographs are wonderful too. I also enjoyed N.R. Kleinfeld's story about firefighter's first fire. Please more stories like this.
3
Thank you for the beautiful obituary of George Bell. I hope it was quick and painless. Your obit tells us he was a good son and a good friend. He mattered as a person of society. There is not much in this world one could wish for at the end. To touch someone with kindness and respect. Sounds like Mr. Bell did it all.
7
Decades ago NYT had a writer who penned human interest pieces like Mr. KLEINFELD.I think his name was Francis X KLEIN, and he wrote about life's losers living in sro's throughout the city when sro's were a fairly common sight, unlike now when all have been replaced by expensive condos or first class hotels.One of his pieces was about a man who had devoted his life to mastering the ancient Etruscan language. He was very bitter because he could not land a teaching job at a university ,whereas other classics professors who didn't know the language were more successful, Always wondered what happened to him and to the author. Did he die in obscurity like GB? NYT likes these kinds of articles, to its credit.
8
Alalexander,
He is Francis X. Clines, and I just did a search of the 5,320 articles the NYT has archived with his byline here. Could not find the Etruscan story. I emailed him, asking if he would kindly send me the link, as I would like to read this fascinating story, and am also an Etruscan aficiando,
He is Francis X. Clines, and I just did a search of the 5,320 articles the NYT has archived with his byline here. Could not find the Etruscan story. I emailed him, asking if he would kindly send me the link, as I would like to read this fascinating story, and am also an Etruscan aficiando,
I do not believe George Bell’s lifestyle was simply one of choice. Perusing the comments, there seemed to be a substantial consensus that George Bell’s life was one of dictation rather than condition. While there is certainly some personal intervention in the path of seclusion or solitude, the introversion and dissolution that emanates from Bell’s life transcends mere choice.
One must pity George Bell and his dolorous end.
“Man is by nature a social animal”-Aristotle.
It is fundamental to the human condition that we are social by nature. While “social” has no absolute definition or formula for which it transpires, there is a basic understanding that human beings need each other. Obviously, some people are naturally inclined to be more open or social than others, however all people require some form of human connection. George Bell lived a life of loneliness. He left the world isolated from real human connection. This is not to say we should pity all people who live a life of separateness. Certainly some people are introverts and choose to live mostly on their own. Further, George Bell quite possibly preferred to live alone in his own demure world. However, what is profoundly lugubrious is the lack of human connection in Bell’s life. Bell had no one in his life that intimately understood him; he was an enigma. Even those at the bar who spent the most time with him said that no conversation ever breached a personal level.
One must pity George Bell and his dolorous end.
“Man is by nature a social animal”-Aristotle.
It is fundamental to the human condition that we are social by nature. While “social” has no absolute definition or formula for which it transpires, there is a basic understanding that human beings need each other. Obviously, some people are naturally inclined to be more open or social than others, however all people require some form of human connection. George Bell lived a life of loneliness. He left the world isolated from real human connection. This is not to say we should pity all people who live a life of separateness. Certainly some people are introverts and choose to live mostly on their own. Further, George Bell quite possibly preferred to live alone in his own demure world. However, what is profoundly lugubrious is the lack of human connection in Bell’s life. Bell had no one in his life that intimately understood him; he was an enigma. Even those at the bar who spent the most time with him said that no conversation ever breached a personal level.
2
Maxwell, an interesting projection of your own self complete with your personal belief system...I think you missed Big George by a million miles.
4
Who gave you (NY Times and the author) the right to invade this man's privacy??
Would this story have been any less "effective" if from the get go you just stated that this is a true story but you changed the man's name to protect his privacy??
I hope nobody ever picks over your bones without your permission.
Would this story have been any less "effective" if from the get go you just stated that this is a true story but you changed the man's name to protect his privacy??
I hope nobody ever picks over your bones without your permission.
4
For some people depression is triggered by a panic attack and that must be painful. As I remember it my depressions weren't very painful. It was more like hiding from being in the world by turning the volume control down on my phenomena, and ceasing to act.
People should certainly have a right to recuse themselves from the game of life but then they are no longer of any interest. It is absurd to have compassion for them. It is like feeling sorry for a stone. They don't want it or need it and will not help the giver either.
If reincarnation is the case they do serve the function of opening space at the top. They will probably come back as insects, because that is what they are worth.
People should certainly have a right to recuse themselves from the game of life but then they are no longer of any interest. It is absurd to have compassion for them. It is like feeling sorry for a stone. They don't want it or need it and will not help the giver either.
If reincarnation is the case they do serve the function of opening space at the top. They will probably come back as insects, because that is what they are worth.
1
One doesn't choose to be depressed. Your lack of compassion is sad.
4
I don't know if one chooses anything. I don't think there is any one to choose. One is a process, not a thing. Insofar as there appears to be choice, one does not make a choice to be depressed, but it results from many small choices not to perceive, react, or feel.
1
Even with the title, I didn't realize I'd need to have an entire box of Kleenex handy while reading this. So much contained in this powerful piece - how we live, how we die, who mourns. Well done.
7
Enjoyed "The Lonely Death of George Bell?"
Read about the unclaimed bodies buried on Hart Island, a one mile stretch of land that houses over one million bodies.
http://wp.me/p6OMlE-bl
Read about the unclaimed bodies buried on Hart Island, a one mile stretch of land that houses over one million bodies.
http://wp.me/p6OMlE-bl
2
I agree with others that this piece the most worthwhile I've read in the NYT in quite some time. (Since Dasani, 2013?) I understand the concerns about privacy and that does give me pause.
But what sticks in my craw is the fish--swallowing one live for fun, and pouring alcohol (?) into the mouth of another (still living?). Sorry if others have remarked on this. He should have had a better life. But the "heart in the right place" comments are a bit much.
But what sticks in my craw is the fish--swallowing one live for fun, and pouring alcohol (?) into the mouth of another (still living?). Sorry if others have remarked on this. He should have had a better life. But the "heart in the right place" comments are a bit much.
4
I am reading through the comments and I wonder if we are not making a fundamental flaw... Looking at Mr. Bell's life through our eyes, and determining it was a sad and lonely life.
He may have been quite content in his life. It is possible that he enjoyed the solitude and resisted the stress and work that social interaction often entails. I would not want to live his life, nor live his lifestyle. I also would not want to live the life of a Bill Gates. As I strive to live the best life I can, which includes friends and family, I wonder if Mr. Bell also found success in his life, satisfied that his existence was in his control. He got to determine when to rise and when to sleep. Finally he died as he lived, in control of his life. He died alone, but that is only sad if one fails to see that he lived alone, by choice.
The article describes a pathetic existence. We do not honor Mr. Bell by pitying his existence. We honor him by respecting his choices.
He may have been quite content in his life. It is possible that he enjoyed the solitude and resisted the stress and work that social interaction often entails. I would not want to live his life, nor live his lifestyle. I also would not want to live the life of a Bill Gates. As I strive to live the best life I can, which includes friends and family, I wonder if Mr. Bell also found success in his life, satisfied that his existence was in his control. He got to determine when to rise and when to sleep. Finally he died as he lived, in control of his life. He died alone, but that is only sad if one fails to see that he lived alone, by choice.
The article describes a pathetic existence. We do not honor Mr. Bell by pitying his existence. We honor him by respecting his choices.
12
Thanks M. Macaluso...clear-eyed and well-spoken!
A lovely story about a lonely life. George Bell a man who nobody knew deeply now have his story which would be read all over the world. A real paradox.
3
What an incredible and moving piece. Kudos to Ms./Mr. Klienfield and all who had a part in this. WOW. I could not stop reading, despite it's length. Spellbinding, that's the word. I am going to work on my life connections today, it may be my last.
5
So tenderly written, the little nuggets of a life that define an individual. His story reminds of "Remains Of The Day".
Mr. Bell had his heart in the right place than many of us do. Such a lovingly devoted son, his caring for his mother just clutched at the heartstrings; the love of his youth still thought and cared for him after so many years; and he bequeathed his property to friends 30 years before passing on, remaining straight and true in this fickle and ever-changing world.
His injury would have set back many dreams, but he soldiered on. The Gloria Gaynor tape probably finally worn out of hope.
Heart-wrenchingly inspiring, what a man.
Mr. Bell had his heart in the right place than many of us do. Such a lovingly devoted son, his caring for his mother just clutched at the heartstrings; the love of his youth still thought and cared for him after so many years; and he bequeathed his property to friends 30 years before passing on, remaining straight and true in this fickle and ever-changing world.
His injury would have set back many dreams, but he soldiered on. The Gloria Gaynor tape probably finally worn out of hope.
Heart-wrenchingly inspiring, what a man.
6
This article touches on deep seated fears, and I'm reminded of the earliest spiritual teachings I'm conscious of; namely, that we are spiritual beings, that we are not alone, and that we are each held precious as part of a beautiful, ultimately benevolent larger whole.
Thank you for this article and for so many thoughtful exchanges, especially at this time of year when in many cultures the meaning of the cycles of life and death and harvest are explored and celebrated.
Thank you for this article and for so many thoughtful exchanges, especially at this time of year when in many cultures the meaning of the cycles of life and death and harvest are explored and celebrated.
2
I think the lesson in this story is not so much to keep an up-to-date will nor keep in touch with relatives, friends, and the community as one gets older -- although that is prudent advice. I think it's a cautionary tale of what happens when true love -- even if it starts out as young love -- is thwarted. Eleanore's observation along the lines of "we had something that just wasn't used up" is bittersweet. Sure, her mother was looking out for her best interests; but I wonder if George's end would've been the same had he and Eleanore married. Glad they still were able to remain friends and stay in touch; but it's not quite the same as being married. George died of a heart condition, all right: a broken heart.
7
I have always believed that "No one dies alone" until I read the story about George Bell.
2
I was deeply touched by this article.
The only thing that I found hard to understand about George Bell was as to why he never tried to live comfortably specially with all that money he had.
I have so often wondered about elderly people so neglected emotionally and sometimes even with children and family around. they rarely are paid a visit.
My dear father is 84. He is diabetic and has a mild form of Alzhiemer. But we all agreed to take turns in caring for him if my mum was not around. He will never ever be sent away to a home for the elderly.
After all the love and care they gave us and saw us through college through many a sacrifice, the least we could do is to make life as comfortable as possible. This is their time of need. One of the favorite proverbs my father used to say was this, 'What is it that you live for if it is not to make life less difficult for one another.' Dear George may you rest in peace.
The only thing that I found hard to understand about George Bell was as to why he never tried to live comfortably specially with all that money he had.
I have so often wondered about elderly people so neglected emotionally and sometimes even with children and family around. they rarely are paid a visit.
My dear father is 84. He is diabetic and has a mild form of Alzhiemer. But we all agreed to take turns in caring for him if my mum was not around. He will never ever be sent away to a home for the elderly.
After all the love and care they gave us and saw us through college through many a sacrifice, the least we could do is to make life as comfortable as possible. This is their time of need. One of the favorite proverbs my father used to say was this, 'What is it that you live for if it is not to make life less difficult for one another.' Dear George may you rest in peace.
7
That generation generally lived below their means. They grew up in the aftermath of the Great Depression and World War II.
5
I was moved by this beautifully researched and written story. This is the kind of journalism one hopes for: original, revealing, thoughtful: serious writing that makes you think about your own life and your relationships with others. Thank you.
7
Mr. Kleinfield and Mr. Haner,
Thank you both so much for humanizing a death that would have gone unnoticed. I'm terribly saddened both by the circumstances of his final decade or so of life and that he passed from this earth without one of the other seven billion human beings even being aware. My values, personal morality, and decency I hold for my fellow man has taken a hit today. It is a painful article to read. This was a fellow human who lived, loved, laughed, cried, and interacted with others. Perhaps Mr. Bell wanted life to end this way but I just cannot shake the feeling that we let him down.
At the hospital where I work, we have a program named, 'No One Dies Alone'. If a patient looks like they are nearing the end of their life, we have someone sit with them, hold their hand, talk to them, and ensure the do not leave this earth feeling lonely at a time they may be very anxious or even scared.
Please accept my gratitude for your work. I am going to try and be a better friend to those that I like and love.
Sincerely,
D. Flynn
Thank you both so much for humanizing a death that would have gone unnoticed. I'm terribly saddened both by the circumstances of his final decade or so of life and that he passed from this earth without one of the other seven billion human beings even being aware. My values, personal morality, and decency I hold for my fellow man has taken a hit today. It is a painful article to read. This was a fellow human who lived, loved, laughed, cried, and interacted with others. Perhaps Mr. Bell wanted life to end this way but I just cannot shake the feeling that we let him down.
At the hospital where I work, we have a program named, 'No One Dies Alone'. If a patient looks like they are nearing the end of their life, we have someone sit with them, hold their hand, talk to them, and ensure the do not leave this earth feeling lonely at a time they may be very anxious or even scared.
Please accept my gratitude for your work. I am going to try and be a better friend to those that I like and love.
Sincerely,
D. Flynn
6
This article is a violation of the subject's privacy. I would like to say it is unusual for the NYTimes to make this ethical mistake -- but it isn't. Those of us who teach in schools of gerontology reference a famous NYT article about the mother of writer Mary Gordon when we teach ethics. Unfortunately, with this article, we'll have another example of inappropriate (if not cruel) journalism.
4
Although I laud you for raising this point, a great deal of public resources went into establishing his vital record -- i.e., death certificate -- and not just into settling his estate; so most of these activities, that happen to reveal how he lived, are a matter of public record. The fees drawn for doing so were reasonable and not vulturous. And, even though George couldn't speak for himself to give his side of the story, it wasn't a violation of his privacy to publish non-libelous comments about him that were clearly the opinions of others. What I found offensive, however, was the clean-up worker taking his unworn boots -- if the boots couldn't be auctioned, they should've been given to charity. Doesn't matter how dirty or low-paid the job was the worker was performing; those boots belong on a homeless man.
4
Why is it inappropriate?
In Tucson I have seen that birds die, bees and snakes die; some from old-age.
Occasionally a body is seen in the desert landscape or down by the wash where the water runs in a storm.
Old-age even to packrats-leaving their midden (refuse heap) behind.
Animals seem not to mull overmuch about it, take deaths in stride-
"such is life, such is death as it happens".
Occasionally a body is seen in the desert landscape or down by the wash where the water runs in a storm.
Old-age even to packrats-leaving their midden (refuse heap) behind.
Animals seem not to mull overmuch about it, take deaths in stride-
"such is life, such is death as it happens".
3
As people transitioned their correspondence and personal content to the Internet there will no longer going to be physical record of a person's life when it ends. Photos, videos, messages will be lost forever
5
Stories like this make me happy to be able to read. Just a beautifully article.
I wish this was just the first chapter though, haha!
Nicely done Mr. N. R. Kleinfield!
And TY NY Times.
Cheers!
George Bell is dead.
Long live George Bell!
I wish this was just the first chapter though, haha!
Nicely done Mr. N. R. Kleinfield!
And TY NY Times.
Cheers!
George Bell is dead.
Long live George Bell!
8
This piece reminds me why I pay for a NYT subscription. My daughter is an only child and I have been estranged from my only sibling for some time; I truly hope that neither of us meets this fate. Thank you.
5
What a beautiful sad story of George Bell , sitting here on my sofa I starting reading it at 5:30 am I could not stop reading it till the end out of respect for him and all those that got to know him through his death. I could not help but cry had to put down my cell where I found the story. The respect given him is awesome, even by you the writer. Now I know George also and I bet I will always think of him. Thank you for writing this story the jouney that those involved to clear his belongings, I just never had a clue. George was a gentle man and he is now with his family. RIP George.
3
Thank you so much for this. Truly.
6
Great read, great pics
1
I was deeply touched by the story. NYTimes has done a great job in describing George Bell's life and in a way you have paid tribute to the people who die alone without anyone ever knowing about it. The story alerted the readers to appreciate the people around them to avoid being in such kind of situation.
From the article, I take that the author is trying to project that those who die alone were not happy during their last days. I would like to comment on it that may be such people chose to be alone and find happiness in it.
From the description of George's life, I think he must have been a likable guy. He should not be held responsible if his friends and family left him to live alone. I think we should not feel sorry for such people and we should be proud and remember them after their death. NYTimes did a great job in bringing this man in our lives. Thanks!
From the article, I take that the author is trying to project that those who die alone were not happy during their last days. I would like to comment on it that may be such people chose to be alone and find happiness in it.
From the description of George's life, I think he must have been a likable guy. He should not be held responsible if his friends and family left him to live alone. I think we should not feel sorry for such people and we should be proud and remember them after their death. NYTimes did a great job in bringing this man in our lives. Thanks!
4
Living alone does not equate to sadness or loneliness, but living conditions, can certainly reveal the kind of life you live. Hoarding can be attributed to mental and emotional well being. From a personal experience, if my room is a mess, my life feels like a mess as well.
2
Wow! The things we learn about living and dying by reading this excellent article!
Very moving!
Very moving!
5
This story is so heartbreaking! One of my biggest fears is dying alone in my apt. It's a good thing there now seems to be an awareness of what happens if a person becomes a recluse.
7
But don't we all die alone?
3
If this isn't worth a Pulitzer, I don't know what is. Exhaustively researched, beautifully, evocatively written, an extraordinary piece of journalism. Yet another reminder of how essential is the NYT.
16
Superb article. This is why I subscribe only to the NY Times.
11
Lonely is time passed by
Inside this body realm,
Where all thought rule the day.
The lonely man who ever lived
God show thy fault each day.
He takes thee to death.
No hope for him who lives
Each day nonetheless.
Inside this body realm,
Where all thought rule the day.
The lonely man who ever lived
God show thy fault each day.
He takes thee to death.
No hope for him who lives
Each day nonetheless.
2
I'm about 20 years younger than Mr. Bell, but I certainly could have been friends with him especially during the 1990s when I was a regular at a local bar. I lived alone from 1994-2006 and my life was getting smaller and I was isolating. I went away to rehab in 2006 and stopped drinking. My siblings had to move my things out of my apartment while I was away in 2006 because my lease was up. Since then, I've stayed sober and married. I'm not saying Mr. Bell was an alcoholic, but I am and would have gone down this path of isolation had I not snapped out of it. He seemed like a nice person, and I would have liked to have met him. Thanks NY Times.
11
Now I know my future - glad someone told the story I had in my mind all along.
10
a touching portrait of a life & death-thank you
however can not believe that a simple cremation cost over $4,000-another example of the funeral racket sadly-it is possible for much less- so for anyone considering it-do your research-the public administrator should too!
however can not believe that a simple cremation cost over $4,000-another example of the funeral racket sadly-it is possible for much less- so for anyone considering it-do your research-the public administrator should too!
7
Good on George that he's getting all this belated love and good thoughts from so many. Just for being. The tome of the unknown citizen.
5
I think all the the NYT readers need a reality check more than George.
Yes, maybe his housekeeping wasn't the greatest; who knows maybe that back-pain allowed things to pile up in the last few months.
George's Financial House was immaculate; he would rank in the 85th percentile nationally
Financial Summary:
-------------------------
Annual Income: $34,518 ($2,876/mo. or $95 day)
Debt: $0
Assets: $540,000 (real estate: $300K, Cash $200K)
He didn't declare bankruptcy, go through foreclosure, end up underwater or upside down in a mortgage, or lose 50% of his assets in the .com collapse, '08 recession or make imprudent financial decisions.
In fact, George's was better off than 50% of the people in the USA who live off entitlements, the 10% who declare bankruptcy, or lose 50% of their assets in divorces or lawsuits or business failures, and the vast majority who have negligible net worth or live paycheck to paycheck.
George outranked 85% of the readers of the USA (and NYT!) who are judging him so superficially, in this article comments. I think most should give him the respect he deserves; and acknowledge their own financial frailties, foibles, and failings that have led this economy to where we are.
His housekeeping failings could be corrected with a good cleaning crew in a weekend; his lifetime of financial success, will elude most forever.
George you get an 85% in my book!
Yes, maybe his housekeeping wasn't the greatest; who knows maybe that back-pain allowed things to pile up in the last few months.
George's Financial House was immaculate; he would rank in the 85th percentile nationally
Financial Summary:
-------------------------
Annual Income: $34,518 ($2,876/mo. or $95 day)
Debt: $0
Assets: $540,000 (real estate: $300K, Cash $200K)
He didn't declare bankruptcy, go through foreclosure, end up underwater or upside down in a mortgage, or lose 50% of his assets in the .com collapse, '08 recession or make imprudent financial decisions.
In fact, George's was better off than 50% of the people in the USA who live off entitlements, the 10% who declare bankruptcy, or lose 50% of their assets in divorces or lawsuits or business failures, and the vast majority who have negligible net worth or live paycheck to paycheck.
George outranked 85% of the readers of the USA (and NYT!) who are judging him so superficially, in this article comments. I think most should give him the respect he deserves; and acknowledge their own financial frailties, foibles, and failings that have led this economy to where we are.
His housekeeping failings could be corrected with a good cleaning crew in a weekend; his lifetime of financial success, will elude most forever.
George you get an 85% in my book!
14
But alas, you can't take it with you. It seems most readers were touched by the humanity of this story, not the monetary assets that George Bell left behind.
8
It wasn't so much the moentary assets that he left behind; but that he accummulated such assets during his life that didnt't saddle him with debt while he was living, nor leave him in debt when he died, like many Americans, I believe is by what the OP and I are impressed.
2
Financial success? That's relative given that the point of the article is how disconnected George Bell was from life. All the fortune in the world will not compensate for a miserable style of living -- which it seems George Bell had. If anything, the article highlights that possessions or an impressive figure on a balance sheet do not equate having lived a good or enjoyable life; it's all the things we leave behind that ultimately do not matter.
2
The American way of life
Materialism, emptiness, loneliness, death.....................
Materialism, emptiness, loneliness, death.....................
5
How was George Bell materialistic?
True.. sad but true. For all our connectedness and calculatedly publishing every step we make in life we remain socially disjointed, awkward. We live in a society where youngsters are freaked out at the idea of making or receiving a phone call, let alone have a face-to-face communication that tears them away from their precious electronic screens. Facebook and the like assure us we have more "friends" but I'd still rather have quality over quantity.
It is because of articles such as these that I subscribe to the Times. What a wonderful honor to George so that he may not be forgotten. Thank-you.
9
George and Eleanore, despite their failings, their true love spanned decades. Eleanore is the last person from his life who called him !!
9
Thanks for telling a great story. Part an issue of choice, part an issue of the way our society is constructed (housing, socialization, etc..), I fear that there are many that live in the same way by choice or by necessity. I'm happy that George didn't just disappear and some of those that touch him were able to be touched by him. Cheers to George Bell.
6
I think the author may have jumped to the wrong concussion. Mr. Bell it seems died alone, he may or may not have died lonely. There is a huge difference.
9
The article says that his death was lonely, not that he was a lonely person. One of his acquaintances suggests that he was depressed, but the author does not come to that conclusion...
1
So many commenters here have said he was lonely, and this would make many other people think that he was lonely. Also the headline "the Lonely Death" suggests he was lonely. I am not convinced that he was.
5
To quote Thomas Lynch from his meritorious THE UNDERTAKING, "the dead don't care". So death has no being, death has no quality of life, death can't be lonely, everything leading up to passing sure can, but not death. I think George was smiling.............
1
What a sad and loving tribute to this lonely man. The "paper work" of the deceased was more complicated than his life. The writing has a way of slowing down the reading. Thanks.
2
This is a pretentious article- to the extreme. What right does this reporter have in judging the life of this man? And who are we to decide what constitutes a meaningful existence? Those who think they are God please raise your hand.
4
Thank you, NR Kleinfield, for this magnificent piece. I couldn't stop reading. Good job! I'm 75 hard years old. I live alone with my dog Buddy. I'll die alone, in an obsessively neat apartment. My body won't have time to ripen. I have a son nearby and a few dear friends from work. Ah, work! Being around people for a few hours is the joy of my life. Thank you, NR, for bringing George Bell into my life. I bet he wished for death for a long time, before it showed up. I bet he welcomed death. I will. Life is a lot of work.
15
This is just a stunning article. The picture of Bell at Christmas in 1956 says so much - there was a time when Christmas and the presents he might get actually mattered to his 13 year-old mind, when the future was full of promise and when he was part of what looks like a Norman Rockwell family. This article conjures so many questions about 1 unremarkable life in a world of 6 billion - what influenced Bell not to replicate the upbringing he had, why did he shut himself off eventually, what did he do with all his time alone? So interesting to wind the clock backward and understanding the beginning when you already know the end.
25
I sometimes think that those of us with a high threshold for solitude more easily understand those without it than those without understand us. The idea of people who are uncomfortable being alone with themselves doesn't fill me with horror or deep sadness--they are somewhere on a solitude-company continuum, as everyone is. I do hope they make themselves comfortable by keeping as much company as they want. It seems okay to me that they are as they are. When they are alone with themselves, that's unfortunate--not because they are alone, but because they are uncomfortable alone.
6
@Arrow. I am copying your most eloquent statement to present to those whom I encounter who do not understand--on the most elementary level--the meaning of solitude and those of us who desire and require it.
1
It is easy to be loved when one is young and attractive in all its aspects, but when friends and family members die, others move on to more exciting locations, our secure environment can become a quiet, lonely existence.
I read this story yesterday, I found it haunting.
This quite possibly will be the future of some young person that I know and love; this definitely could be me at about 85.
I read this story yesterday, I found it haunting.
This quite possibly will be the future of some young person that I know and love; this definitely could be me at about 85.
9
The movie "Still Life" is very similar to this article. It follows a man who follows up after people who seem to die without any remaining human connections and the importance of honoring all the dead.
2
Such a haunting, yet lovely story. RIP, George Bell!
3
Articles such as this is why I subscribe to the Times. Well done.
5
I thought this was an perfectly marvelous article and I want to commend N. R. Kleinfeld and The New York Times for providing it. Thank you!!!!
5
First off, I would say I would be proud to have George in my family; as an Uncle, Grandfather or whatever. He checked ALL the boxes on how to live a decent, responsible, and clean life. He worked hard, owned his own home, served his country, maintained his own car, saved a large sum of money and until his last days, enjoyed solid cash-flows from Pensions, Disability Income, and even had Life Insurance. I don't think George was suffering from dementia, nor alzheimers, or was disabled, delusional or depressed. I think he was in a rut, maybe stubborn and probably self conscious about his situation. If an any of above were true, the car would be in impound for months; piles of unpaid bills, and other evidence of not being able to compute time, finances or daily necessities.
I have see men like George cope for decades with minor but rich routines that keep them going. From the standing Steak / Martini Dinner out every Friday night at the Bar / Table for one with 2 pre-packed takeout-orders (often with companions, but as often not), to the Saturday Pastrami / Beer to taking his prized car out Sundays. These minor events, often require days to prepare; from picking up shirts, to checking with buddies/dates, to even weather forecasts.
You have to want the good life; to taste a good steak; be happy with your old Caddy starting up and maybe selling your old watch to the highest bidder on ebay.
Good Luck Georgie! We missed you on the last round of drinks...
I have see men like George cope for decades with minor but rich routines that keep them going. From the standing Steak / Martini Dinner out every Friday night at the Bar / Table for one with 2 pre-packed takeout-orders (often with companions, but as often not), to the Saturday Pastrami / Beer to taking his prized car out Sundays. These minor events, often require days to prepare; from picking up shirts, to checking with buddies/dates, to even weather forecasts.
You have to want the good life; to taste a good steak; be happy with your old Caddy starting up and maybe selling your old watch to the highest bidder on ebay.
Good Luck Georgie! We missed you on the last round of drinks...
13
@NYCBachelorinLA. You, sir, understand a "life lived."
I am a member of an association, "Mort sans Toi(t)" here in Lyon, France. When the office hears from the city that a person has died who has no relatives or friends, members of the association are notified so that those who are able can attend the person's funeral. We want the person who died to have the respect that they deserved. But very little is done to find out who the person was. It was good to know that NYC does all it can to trace down any relatives to let them know what happened to those who died all alone.
Too bad they are surrounded by caring people but only after it is too late.
Too bad they are surrounded by caring people but only after it is too late.
16
I read this article with my 13 year old son. Thank you for unravelling all the pieces that connected George Bell's life and death. The story made for heartbreaking reading - dying alone is surely one of life's saddest things. For us, the most difficult thing to read was how we all seem to place more value on things than we do on a human life. George Bell's possessions got more attention and love than he ever seemed to.
4
Excellent article. A lot of old people die this way, without friends...very sad.
4
I encountered several folks like this, including the hoarder, while doing home health. Without family help, it was our job to keep on top of things.
4
The death of George Bell is not lonely, however, his lifeless body going unnoticed for several days until a foul odor was detected by his neighbors IS lonely and a very sad commentary. No one really knows whether or not he lived a life of his own choosing. But what I find truly lonely and disturbing is that he apparently meant so little or not at all in that his absence from this world went undetected for so long.
I find this article a major wake up call to people like me who tend to not be a social butterfly. I like my own company. I love my husband and our cats and my puttering around the yard. My worst nightmare would be if my husband passed before me and I would end up with a major life threatening illness, all alone. What this article has done is make me re-think my priorities and put my life in some kind of order so I too don't end up like George Bell. I guess that means that I have to actually engage in conversations and relationships with people where I'm not all that comfortable. My option is either die unnoticed or keep some kind of communication thread flowing so someone knows that I am still kicking around.
Thank you NYT for shedding a different light and perspective on this very sad yet meaningful article. It has been a real slap to the face - one which I appreciated.
10
One of the finest pieces in the history of journalism. Bravo to Mr. Kleinfeld and the NYTimes for this compassionate and a thoroughly soul-stirring story.
6
I’m reading this in Finland and it’s almost impossible for me to understand that someone who lived in New York six miles from the Empire State Building (I checked the distance on Google maps) didn’t get a happier life. But I guess living there is different than just dreaming about it.
7
Most people who live here, from my experience, are miserable. We put out a great PR campaign though. There's something VERY isolating about this city - the people are not terribly friendly and I say that as a native who has lived and traveled elsewhere. You could theoretically be on house arrest and have all the comforts of the outside world delivered to you - food, groceries, prescriptions, clothes, etc - and never have to leave.
Also on top of that, in American culture we dump our sick, disabled, and elderly in nursing homes to rot under the subpar care of woefully underpaid aides. Families rarely visit their elderly relatives. It's a major cultural problem, one that was brought to light to me by friends of ethnicities where the culture is the opposite and it's normal for multiple generations to live together. Here it's normal for single people to live alone, if they can afford it.
Also on top of that, in American culture we dump our sick, disabled, and elderly in nursing homes to rot under the subpar care of woefully underpaid aides. Families rarely visit their elderly relatives. It's a major cultural problem, one that was brought to light to me by friends of ethnicities where the culture is the opposite and it's normal for multiple generations to live together. Here it's normal for single people to live alone, if they can afford it.
2
The superb writing reveals N. R. Kleinfield's care for Mr Bell, however the photos taken by Josh Haner are equally worthy of praise. Each image stopped me in my reading tracks. They reflect the heart of this moving story.
3
RIP George Bell. There but for the grace of God go I.
5
Men get lost sometimes as years unfurl.....Don Henley. Thank you for this.
6
This was one of the best articles I've read in a long time. Thanks for writing it N.R. Kleinfield. Heartbreaking and so relatable. Long live the memory of poor George Bell. He could be any one of us.
8
Brilliant piece. Death and dying: an homage to our country's way of paying final respects to its citizens. Duty acknowledged and discharged to a little remembered member of the community. Good on the civil servants involved in this taking out the dead.
13
Feel a bit churlish here, but when I read this in the front page section yesterday I found it painfully overwritten: "Like most New Yorkers, he lived in the corners, under the pale light of obscurity." What does that even mean? Do most New Yorkers live in the corners? I see that I am in a small minority of those who commented. I thought that it was an interesting and well reported piece, but much of the writing made me cringe.
13
Hah .. now you know how we feel when the NYTs writes ANYTHING about living in the South, especially when profiling Black or rural lives. The melancholy and race-obsessed portraits they want to paint simply don't ring true to those who actually live here.
3
Yes, you are a bit churlish.
1
You said it yourself. Churlish. I've been writing for a living for 35 years and I was deeply impressed by the quality of this piece. He painted a vivid, evocative picture, not only of the deceased, but of the personal and bureaucratic context surrounding George Bell's death and its aftermath. I read parts of the article out loud to myself as I went through it, to savor its quality.
3
Here, such a thing as pity is loaded with prejudice. Who are we to say that Mr. Bell did not die happy? Or that he did not live life exactly as he so rightly and freely chose? For only Mr. Bell really knows.
Thank you for the beautiful story.
Thank you for the beautiful story.
8
I think a new great movement in writing is coming - exposure of private lives of people who cannot defend themselves.
11
When I die NR Kleinfield is more than welcome to write about my life in the NYT! But please, please, please don't show a picture of the ratty thermal shirt which I can't seem to part with which are my pjs!
2
Incredible piece of reporting and journalism, thank you Mr Kleinfield and NYT for publishing such an in-depth story. Will stay with me for a long time; most memorable article I've read in NYT since Susan Dominus' recap of victims of the Lag Megantic train disaster "Regulars of the Musi-Cafe" in late 2013.
3
What is this story about? All the facts about Mr. Bell's individual life and death don't seem to address any larger questions. Like him, this story doesn't connect with society.
1
1522 readers (so far) were moved enough by the story to write their comments.
4
Thank you, Mr. Kleinfield and Mr. Haner. I was so moved by your story. I didn't know what I was getting into when I began reading. As a former estate planning attorney, I handled many administrations/probates of decedents' estates, and so, initially, I was interested in the procedural aspects of the story. As you painted the picture of the home in which the anonymous Mr. Bell lived, however, I longed to learn more about the individual. You thankfully pulled back the curtain and revealed the mystery of who Mr. Bell was. When the story concluded, I felt I had just finished a well-written novel.
9
"Being Mortal" by Atul Gawande is worth reading in relation to this topic.
2
Great thought-provoking feature with universal reach. The missed chances along life's way may or may not be choices but the results still haunt. I am left with two questions on the details of this fine article. What are the ratios of men to women in the Potter's Field? ie How do economic limits direct the result of where we wind up. Since the Teamsters along with the social safety nets of worker's comp and SS seem to have made George's later life economically viable, will that be the future retired potential for present day workers in today's culture?
4
Wonderful story. Many thanks to the author for pursuing it over an extended period of time.
6
In death, George Bell's life found purpose. To bring us face to face with our fears of loneliness or to celebrate our solitude. Either way, for each of us touched by this article, if you recommit to living your life a little fuller, it can also add to the meaning of George Bell's life.
Thanks for the article. We could use more articles that touch on the meaning of life.
Thanks for the article. We could use more articles that touch on the meaning of life.
11
I found this story exploitative and sensationalist. I see from the comments that it hit a nerve, but I find it lacking in respect for the privacy of the diseased. I do not deny that the phenomenon may be newsworthy and the story more compelling when linked to a single case, but its effectiveness depends on unseemly voyeurism.
10
Not cool, AR.
2
Well, Rebecca, apparently you are supposed to be quiet.
1
That was absolutely the best article I have read in the New York times in my entire existence of 32 years. Regularly I am disappointed by the lazy and haphazard way that articles are chosen and written by authors. This article however, was poignant, articulated, and just plain old good reading. Bravo to the research. Bravo to the editor. And most of all Bravo to the NYT, who I haven't wanted to read since the 9/11 attacks. And to those of you who think recluses are some kind of fault on society: look in the mirror. Very likely you are the reason people like us shut ourselves off: Our own company and peace is way better than your turmoil. I highly doubt this guy was gay (it was moderately insinuated in the article.) I think he was just fed up with crazy women, the booze, and everything else. I just say farewell to veteran and a guy I'd like to have had a beer with.
9
I, too ,think it was the most fascinating story I've read in a newspaper ever. Seems to have struck a nerve with us because we see at least some of ourselves in it.
I often wonder to what extent not wanting to be around people is genuinely "us" or "them." Perhaps it's some of both. In any event, it's something a lot of us struggle with.
The interesting thing about your comment is your age. I suppose I just don't think of 32-year-olds as being reclusive, though the reality certainly supports it.
I hope you took from some of the comments just how touched those commenters were, likely because a name and face had been attached to something generally more abstract. I certainly was.
I would hope you agree what there are certainly quite a few decent people in the world.
The hard part is getting to know them.
I often wonder to what extent not wanting to be around people is genuinely "us" or "them." Perhaps it's some of both. In any event, it's something a lot of us struggle with.
The interesting thing about your comment is your age. I suppose I just don't think of 32-year-olds as being reclusive, though the reality certainly supports it.
I hope you took from some of the comments just how touched those commenters were, likely because a name and face had been attached to something generally more abstract. I certainly was.
I would hope you agree what there are certainly quite a few decent people in the world.
The hard part is getting to know them.
5
Just because there is no one to care about this man does not give any of us permission to see his apartment, to shame him in this way. Do you think if he were asked for permission to photograph his home for a front page article in the NYT he would have given it? What purpose do those photos serve except a sensational one? Why weren't words enough?
17
shame is in the eye, or the mind of the beholder.
the author's compassion and respect for his subject
is evident in his non-judgmental illumination of one life
lived among us.
our own reactions may mirror ourselves.
the author's compassion and respect for his subject
is evident in his non-judgmental illumination of one life
lived among us.
our own reactions may mirror ourselves.
8
James, perhaps those photos shouldn't be viewed as shaming him. Maybe they were necessary to drive home a more important point:
That some people, at some point, simply give up. They cease to care about things like what they or their surroundings appear to be to others.
I think you're quite right: Mr. Bell didn't seem the sort who would liked to have had his life chronicled on the front page of a newspaper. I'm sure that's something that at least occurred to the author and the editorial staff who approved of the story.
I would have reacted the same way -- until I read the story. Then I realized just how important it was, despite the invasion of privacy.
That some people, at some point, simply give up. They cease to care about things like what they or their surroundings appear to be to others.
I think you're quite right: Mr. Bell didn't seem the sort who would liked to have had his life chronicled on the front page of a newspaper. I'm sure that's something that at least occurred to the author and the editorial staff who approved of the story.
I would have reacted the same way -- until I read the story. Then I realized just how important it was, despite the invasion of privacy.
6
If I am not mistaken, I think your response was shaming. I am quite certain that a color photograph of Mr. Bell's stove served no purpose other than a sensational one, and that there is no reason to believe he would want it to be seen.
4
A startling 40% of New York City residents are single people living alone everyone from recent college graduates to senior citizens who eschew the opportunity to live in an assisted care facility where their freedom would be suppressed.
As the numbers of elderly people living alone in New York City and the surrounding suburbs continues to escalate the challenge is to find ways to keep them engaged in the final stage of their lives so they can maintain their freedom without dying in this manner and that is where we owe it to our friends and neighbors to be alert to people in the same situation as George Bell to keep them engaged so when their end of days come it doesn't end in the same manner as George.
Because while I have no doubt that George relished his freedom to the end dying alone in a ramshackle apartment in this manner is no way for anyone to die.
As the numbers of elderly people living alone in New York City and the surrounding suburbs continues to escalate the challenge is to find ways to keep them engaged in the final stage of their lives so they can maintain their freedom without dying in this manner and that is where we owe it to our friends and neighbors to be alert to people in the same situation as George Bell to keep them engaged so when their end of days come it doesn't end in the same manner as George.
Because while I have no doubt that George relished his freedom to the end dying alone in a ramshackle apartment in this manner is no way for anyone to die.
7
George Bell was a man, according to your own story, who didn't let people into his life and certainly not into his wreck of a home. Yet after he's dead and can't do anything to keep you out or tell you where to go, you give the world pictures and written descriptions of that wreck. It would have been an interesting story without your parading him naked before the world like that. You should be ashamed.
12
I hope some good comes from this story, but yours was my first reaction, also.
4
I am thinking many who read the article saw the wreck in a whole new way:
That is, it was not a wreck at all, but the last home of a man in his final years.
Nobody should be disgusted just because he seemed not to care anymore. It's part of his story.
That is, it was not a wreck at all, but the last home of a man in his final years.
Nobody should be disgusted just because he seemed not to care anymore. It's part of his story.
6
Phenomenal reporting and writing. Thank you N.R. Kleinfield and the NYTimes.
10
I want to thank Mr. Kleinfeld for this humane and compassionate work, I feel these are becoming trivialized assets in our society.
But, after some reflection, I don't think Mr. Bell had it so bad. He had his own apartment, while he was working he had friends/co-workers to socialize with, and he even had a buddy at the local watering hole in his last few years. Some people will never have these things. I am sorry that he died alone, but it certainly seems a fate many of us will share.
But, after some reflection, I don't think Mr. Bell had it so bad. He had his own apartment, while he was working he had friends/co-workers to socialize with, and he even had a buddy at the local watering hole in his last few years. Some people will never have these things. I am sorry that he died alone, but it certainly seems a fate many of us will share.
17
What a great story. Really top notch writing. Long live George Bell.
9
A well-written story about a man's choice to live and die alone and what follows. The writer is magnificent and thorough. Thank you.
12
Alone does not not necessarily mean lonely. I am reminded of the poet May Sarton's great quote: "Loneliness is poverty of self. Solitude is richness of self"
17
What was most hearbreaking was reading about how he had to break the engagement of his only love because his fiancee's mother wanted a prenup. It seems to me unusual to have such things back then, but maybe she came from money? The irony is that it seemed as though she lived the same way he did towards the end, alone and not in good health, and she ended up in debt in which George's money went towards paying off. So sad to see them live apart, yet stay in touch all those years, when it was obvious they loved each other up until the end.
23
I was thinking the same thing. It seems there is a real story to be told there.
6
I too noticed that. Hopefully if there is an afterlife they will be reunited again.
1
First off I want to thank the author for writing and researching this story and the NY Times for publishing the article, 'The Lonely Death of George Bell'. Even though Mr. George Bell was a private man, his story resonates with many and needed to be told, so that we as a people will wake up and change our own lives and the lives of others around us, because we read the about the lonely death of George Bell, his life and death will not have been in vain.
8
Great article meticulously researched. Thanks for taking the time to chronicle an ordinary life.
10
Reading other comments felt the need to write again- loner myself- like others who wrote- the fear of dying alone is sad thought- but I am a loner- travel, movies restaurants on my own- do with others but never denied myself going out just because I was unattached. I have family and close to them, and many FB friends who keep in touch.
I liked one reader who did a 7 day test of not doing the daily social media thing- that's an interesting research project. I suspect some would wonder 'where I am", maybe some would worry- but in the end- it might take days to a week for someone to notice- then you'd be gone anywa, and in the end you still suffer that lonely george bell death.
I suspect now, that like the great fight club quote, "....I understand- in death a member of project mayhem has a name, HIS name is Robert Paulson.. his name is Robert Paulson..."
there may be a new quote for those collective unknown deaths, his name is George Bell...
I liked one reader who did a 7 day test of not doing the daily social media thing- that's an interesting research project. I suspect some would wonder 'where I am", maybe some would worry- but in the end- it might take days to a week for someone to notice- then you'd be gone anywa, and in the end you still suffer that lonely george bell death.
I suspect now, that like the great fight club quote, "....I understand- in death a member of project mayhem has a name, HIS name is Robert Paulson.. his name is Robert Paulson..."
there may be a new quote for those collective unknown deaths, his name is George Bell...
1
How do we know that he was lonely? He may have been quite content and not much of a housekeeper.
15
It is clear from the photos that he was a hoarder and that it wasn't a matter of not being "much of a housekeeper". He was not immobile, as his friendship with the man at the local watering hole makes clear. He was capable of going outside and presumably also taking out the garbage, but did not and instead hoarded everything. When and how that transformation took place isn't clear. I am not trying to shame him or blame him; hoarding is (rightly, IMO) now considered a mental disorder. It is a shame he died living among his trash.
I got divorced a little over a year ago after my wife reached out on Facebook to "an old friend" whom she had know 25 years prior (and who actually was at our wedding). This man would have ended up like George Bell (in all likelihood) as he was in his late 40's, never married, and pined for my former wife (she was the "one" for him, as Eleanore was to George Bell). Now this man and my former wife will be married in December and he will likely avoid the same fate as Mr. Bell.
Like most divorced people, I had always thought my life partner would be there for me, especially as I aged and eventually approached death. My former wife and I did not have a lot in common, but perhaps the fear of being alone made the good times better and the difficult times more palatable.
Now, at 53, I wonder if I may have switched places with my former wife's fiance, though I do have three children. I don't anticipate being married again, and two of my kids have special needs. Though it's great to be needed, myself, the future certainly concerns me. This brilliantly-written article is definitely impetus to expanding my social network; though we all die "alone," so to speak, we don't have to be so lonely, in the process.
Like most divorced people, I had always thought my life partner would be there for me, especially as I aged and eventually approached death. My former wife and I did not have a lot in common, but perhaps the fear of being alone made the good times better and the difficult times more palatable.
Now, at 53, I wonder if I may have switched places with my former wife's fiance, though I do have three children. I don't anticipate being married again, and two of my kids have special needs. Though it's great to be needed, myself, the future certainly concerns me. This brilliantly-written article is definitely impetus to expanding my social network; though we all die "alone," so to speak, we don't have to be so lonely, in the process.
18
Don't be so sure you won't marry again. My husband married me when he was 58 and I was 49, it was a second marriage for each of us. He had been single for 14 years! We were married 25 wonderful years before I lost him to Lewy Body Disease. I never expected this wonderful chapter so late in my life. I am thankful every day that I experienced having a kind and loving man for my husband.
2
While I was crawling (painfully, due to an annoying interface) through the 1451-and-counting comments, it occurred to me that a recently question posted by the NYT editorial board has been answered here. What do NYT subscribers want to see in their paper? It appears that many of us want to see more like this -- old-school personal-interest reporting, exquisitely written and well-researched, and presented without agenda or simmering outrage. We read it and draw our own conclusions. And we click over and comment!
20
I have volunteered in the hospice in a major metropolitan hospital for five years. One day, because other staff were needed elsewhere, I helped move the body of a recently deceased patient to our morgue. As I entered the cold room where bodies are kept until claimed, I noticed several bodies wrapped in plastic neatly laid on the floor in the corner of the room. When I asked about them I was told that about 30% of the dead remain unclaimed. I asked no further questions.
8
This poignant and exceedingly well-written story made me care deeply about a man I never met. Thank you, N.R. Kleinfeld, Josh Haner, and all of the caring individuals who lived inside this amazing piece of writing. I will not soon forget you.
7
Being around others can remind the lonely of how alone they are. Mr Bell's isolation may have helped him feel less alone. In the end, he may have had all the company he needed.
10
A fantastic story. Amazing research. Kudos to Mr. Kleinfield and many of the public employees who worked so diligently to resolve this matter. As they used to say: "There are 8,000,000 stories in the Naked City. This has been one of them."
10
Remarkable reporting. It is amazing to start from so little and find out so much and paint such a vivid picture of a man's life. It is sad that we know so little about others, even though we may be close. I was going through my father's things after he passed away: I found brochures for campers from 1962 (I would have been six) and applications for working at the GA Department of Natural Resources after he retired. I knew he loved the outdoors, but these dreams I did not know at all. It made me sad--how little we may know about others, even if they are not George Bells to us. Thanks for the beautiful story.
9
I sometimes wonder why I pay for the NYT. Stories like these make me remember. Superb reporting and a poingnat story. Thank you, N.R. Kleinfield and Mr. Haner.
11
If you want to talk about these issues, try Death Cafe. They have meetings in cities and towns all over the world....
2
Apparently Mr. Bell chose to be isolated in his later years, but how tragic for him that no one feels they really knew him. Maybe somewhere along the line he felt he hadn't realized his dreams, whatever they were, and just sank into depression. The story of George Bell's death undoubtedly will influence many to reach out to long lost friends and family and in that regard he did a great service.
The most important things in life are the human and spiritual connections we make and the lives we impact. Material things can make us comfortable, but they can't fill or fix the soul. In the end, the "things" we own end up as clutter to be thrown out or ransacked and haggled over by strangers or family who didn't care to know us in life.
To me, the most interesting and optimistic thing about George Bell's story was what his friends had to say about him and how he was in life. There were some hope that all was not lost and that he touched people positively. The idea of him going fishing with a friend helped to soften the otherwise bleak picture of his lonely existence.
Rest in peace and God bless you, Mr. Bell. You've touched more lives than you could possibly imagine.
The most important things in life are the human and spiritual connections we make and the lives we impact. Material things can make us comfortable, but they can't fill or fix the soul. In the end, the "things" we own end up as clutter to be thrown out or ransacked and haggled over by strangers or family who didn't care to know us in life.
To me, the most interesting and optimistic thing about George Bell's story was what his friends had to say about him and how he was in life. There were some hope that all was not lost and that he touched people positively. The idea of him going fishing with a friend helped to soften the otherwise bleak picture of his lonely existence.
Rest in peace and God bless you, Mr. Bell. You've touched more lives than you could possibly imagine.
13
I think this can be a new movement in writing.
First people were forsaking their decency just to be able to have something published and were telling everybody about things in their private lives that should have definitely remained hidden in the world of normal human morals.
( Yeah, but I have a book!)
And now we can fulfill our desire to write by using defenseless dead men and exposing to everybody their private secrets that those defenseless persons not only didn't give a permission to tell anybody, not only didn't want to share with us, but were even guarding - stubbornly and meticulously.
(Yeah, but it's makes the writing even more captivating!)
We are definitely progressing.
First people were forsaking their decency just to be able to have something published and were telling everybody about things in their private lives that should have definitely remained hidden in the world of normal human morals.
( Yeah, but I have a book!)
And now we can fulfill our desire to write by using defenseless dead men and exposing to everybody their private secrets that those defenseless persons not only didn't give a permission to tell anybody, not only didn't want to share with us, but were even guarding - stubbornly and meticulously.
(Yeah, but it's makes the writing even more captivating!)
We are definitely progressing.
5
Very sad and touching story. Thank you for this article that made me pose and think about myself and how well I am keeping in touch with family friends and how consumed I am with my work and immediate family.
I agree with some readers that Mr. George needs some privacy and some of the picture showing his messy home are not showing respect to him.
"To God We Belong and To Him We Return"
I agree with some readers that Mr. George needs some privacy and some of the picture showing his messy home are not showing respect to him.
"To God We Belong and To Him We Return"
5
Perhaps a lesson here is to keep a clean and neat domicile, as one never knows when it will be subjected to uninvited scrutiny. Would this story have been less compelling had he had the gift of housekeeping?
All of us know people--or are people--who, like Mr. Bell, would prefer to meet life only on our own terms, to present to the world only the face we wish others to see, keeping our disarray and irrational attachments on the interior, locked up and curtained off.
Doubtless he would've hated to have photographs of his home made public, and doubtless too that an article accompanied only by anodyne snapshots of his life would've failed to garner the response this one has.
The lesson is this: it is our vulnerability, not our affability, that connects us to each other. Learning that lesson is worth the cost of lost face and violated privacy, at least to me, and so too I hope to Mr. Bell, out there somewhere far past Queens.
Doubtless he would've hated to have photographs of his home made public, and doubtless too that an article accompanied only by anodyne snapshots of his life would've failed to garner the response this one has.
The lesson is this: it is our vulnerability, not our affability, that connects us to each other. Learning that lesson is worth the cost of lost face and violated privacy, at least to me, and so too I hope to Mr. Bell, out there somewhere far past Queens.
9
". . . it is our vulnerability, not our affability, that connects us to each other."
Wonderful words, very well said!
Wonderful words, very well said!
6
My story is no less average than Mr. Bell's. 16 years ago I was living in Queens and my marriage had ended. I hunkered down in my apartment, had endless meals delivered and was headed toward reclusion. Somehow, I realized that unless I changed my life, I was going to die in that apartment alone. I moved 2400 miles and changed my narrative. I am still flawed but I am no longer stuck. I write this neither as either advice nor as a cautionary tale, merely as an anecdotal reminder that we are all driving our own myth and can choose routes and exit ramps.
20
Why not write this story about dying alone without naming the deceased.
Without family or friends there is no one to protest this invasion of privacy.
A sad death was exploited to sell a story in a sensational manner with pictures no less. The Times should be ashamed to participate in this shameless effort.
Without family or friends there is no one to protest this invasion of privacy.
A sad death was exploited to sell a story in a sensational manner with pictures no less. The Times should be ashamed to participate in this shameless effort.
12
Names and identities matter. This lovely story would be nothing without the naming.
6
This story would be more powerful and less intrusive and shockingly disrespectful if told with a pseudonym. You think it's lovely to totally ignore someone's wishes and expose everything they wanted kept private to the whole world? How can you empathize with this man and endorse publically dissecting him this way? "We care about you so much we'll totally disregard everything you ever wanted?" He shielded views of his apartment from people at the door and would not eat out because he was embarrassed to have others see what he ate and yet the Times exposes this and everything else it could find out about him. This is emotion for readers at the subject's expense.
3
This is a remarkable piece of storytelling. Thank you for it. It was a compelling read woven out of small threads to make a memorable tapestry.
5
Thanks for this touching story. You would think that these services would be rife with corruption - and the article touches on the odd occurrence - but these services are undertaken with compassion and understanding by caring, considerate, decent people. It's so easy for jobs like this to fall into the category of "it's just a job," but somehow that has not become the case in Queens.
This story got me to thinking about politics - what doesn't these days? Here's a government function provided on behalf of anonymous people, some like Mr. Bell who have a few assets, others with nothing. And yet they are provided, as noted, with compassion. Sure, these services generate income for the city, but that's not really the point. These are services provided by a civil society. I can't help but think that under the kind of extreme Ayn Randian philosophy espoused by the so-called tea party these lonely deaths would be dismissed, their humanity erased, and our connection to them deemed irrelevant. Consider the sorts of budget cuts these "me-firsters" would impose that would further their "I'm okay, you don't count" approach to life.
This story got me to thinking about politics - what doesn't these days? Here's a government function provided on behalf of anonymous people, some like Mr. Bell who have a few assets, others with nothing. And yet they are provided, as noted, with compassion. Sure, these services generate income for the city, but that's not really the point. These are services provided by a civil society. I can't help but think that under the kind of extreme Ayn Randian philosophy espoused by the so-called tea party these lonely deaths would be dismissed, their humanity erased, and our connection to them deemed irrelevant. Consider the sorts of budget cuts these "me-firsters" would impose that would further their "I'm okay, you don't count" approach to life.
10
What a wonderful way to illuminate a person's life.
3
What about the brothers, sisters, and others who feel it is ok to freeze someone out of the family circle or group of friends. My brother felt that it was alright to not inform me when our mother came to her last months of life and did it again when our father had serious problems after a surgery. Small mean spirited people can make maintaining contact nearly impossible as they cling to some ancient resentment often not even based in reality.
16
Maybe take responsibility for keeping your own relationship with the primary people in your life up to date and intact, even if you are no good at it.
Sometimes a sibling does nothing to help in the family, does nothing to maintain relationships, and then wonders why they feel left out. It works both ways.
Sometimes a sibling does nothing to help in the family, does nothing to maintain relationships, and then wonders why they feel left out. It works both ways.
2
My Elderly Uncle/Godfather lives in Las Vegas by himself by choice in a bedsitter. My older brother checks on him routinely and if he can't get ahold of him he contacts the landlord of the apartment building. There have been a few times that my Brother has had to take emergency trips to Las Vegas because he hasn't been able to contact "The Uncle". The different cell phone options have proved to be to complex for the 85 year old man. Thank goodness for my brothers patience and endurance because I don't know that I could handle dealing with my Uncle.
4
Bless your brother. I'm sure if that responsibility fell to you that you would fulfill it.
1
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
--Lennon-McCartney
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
--Lennon-McCartney
12
I thought of those exact same words & song after reading this article ...that Beatles song always struck me as so sad & I didn't get it cause I was young & had friends & I had never met people so alone....
3
Ironically, the subject of that song is named Eleanor.
1
This article represents one of the many reasons why I live in St. Louis and subscribe to the New York Times. It is insightful and beautifully written. I believe in a place after this one we are all sharing. I hope that Mr. Bell knows how much of an impact his life has left on the many thousand who read this story. He certainly impacted mine.
12
Wow. Powerful, powerful stuff.
8
Very captivating story. I could not stop reading. This is the kind of writing that broadens the mind and truly speaks to people. I almost feel as though I knew George Bell.
10
This piece said a lot, of course, as others so eloquently reacted in the comments section. As a New Yorker for 43 years I'm reminded of this simple fact: the city will collect fees and penalties should you expire and get a parking ticket, as long as there's money in the estate to pay it.
4
Call your grandmother, grandfather, mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, child and/or friend right now if you are lucky enough to have them. People need to stop being so "busy" with trivia like televised football games, the kardashians, survival, facebook, twitter and candy crush and spend time with their loved ones. While they have them - if they're lucky enough to have them.
6
i may be missing something here, but is thee an advantage to dying w other people around ?
does someone holding your hand make death a less scary thing
does someone holding your hand make death a less scary thing
8
Birth and death are special times, they mark the beginning and end of one's life. It is the length of being tested in this life and it is celebrated in all religions. Rituals and prayers are performed in birth and death. In my culture, people need to be buried as fast as possible after death and someone in the situation of Mr. George will be chocking to everyone. Ties with family and friends is very important.
2
I've been around 3 family members in there last days as they approached death from cancer. Their pain near the end suggested to me that death is not scary but a relief. And all 3 asked their loved ones to leave them alone at the end. I assume this was to experience their last thoughts and feelings uninterrupted. The story book image of a loving death surrounded by one's family, may be a disservice to the dying, who are cursing or savoring or napping or most likely numb, and who have no need or energy for putting on a show to comfort those who live on.
Nearly all of us die alone, but the unlucky few die lonely. While I can't say for sure this man was lonely, the fact that no one knew he died until well after his funeral passed is heartbreaking.
Did George Bell ask for or want all this attention to his life and death?
I think not!!!
I think not!!!
12
This was one of the best articles I have ever read. It was factual, it was personalized, it piqued my interest, it roused emotions within me and answered questions I had. Thanks for such a well written, educationally stimulating and thought provoking article. It will stay with me for a long time.
13
Such a sad and depressing story, if it doesn't make many of us think of our own futures, I'd be surprised.
I just hope I get as much obit space in the NYTs when I go gently into that lonely good night.
I just hope I get as much obit space in the NYTs when I go gently into that lonely good night.
Well, if such space is your desire, I suggest that you have out for display only photos showing you as a child and in the prime of life when a NYT reporter crosses your threshold and gives your abode - and you - the white glove treatment.
Kind of makes me sick that the Times saw fit to humiliate him with the photos. A close loved one developed a hoarding disease due to life and it nearly makes me cry to think a newspaper would gleefully showcase her woes in pursuit of awards or clicks.
17
You are so right. The voyeurism and disrespect for this man's privacy made me sick. This is pathos at another's expense. There was no need whatsoever to reveal his name or print those photos. People already know what hoarding looks like.
2
I'm fascinated by how many readers absolutely loved this article. It was the first story in years that I felt compelled to warn my friends NOT to read. I was was left after finishing it with a deep sense of having wasted 45 minutes in pointless voyeurism. There was no point to Mr. Bell's life and there is no point to this story.
If you are wracked by fears of a meaningless life then get up an do it! Don't wallow in this tripe.
If you are wracked by fears of a meaningless life then get up an do it! Don't wallow in this tripe.
7
I agree. It seemed like a lot of filler to me. No offense meant to George!
4
I didn't feel pity for George Bell, but was touched and moved by his story and grateful to NR Kleinfield for his homage to a solitary man who might otherwise have died in obscurity.
I do, however, feel sorry for you.
I do, however, feel sorry for you.
2
Lonely death? George was *alone* at death; please don't confuse the two. Loners are not lonely and they are not sick people living diminished lives; these assumptions are ridiculous. Not everyone wants a dramatic deathbed scene with scores of people leaning over the bed weeping and feigning sorrow in front of the executor. Please leave George alone. He did just fine.
17
Brilliantly written story of the many stories that I've seen and witnessed many times in my own life being a son of NYC. I think that is what it means to be one of the discarded as Francis reminds us. RIP Mr. Bell and Thanks Mr. Kleinfield, your a real good guy.
6
He should have had a military funeral.
6
Among the hundreds of comments, I just want to make sure someone thanks this reporter for the time, dedication, passion and effort it took to put together this long, detailed, immensely moving story. Personally I hope he wins an award for it. He has made thousands of people reflect on this man's life and in so doing, reflect on their own. Thank you.
11
Attention Tom Waits and/or John Prine and/or Paul Simon and/or Randy Newman:
Please let this story flow through you and then back to us.
Please let this story flow through you and then back to us.
2
What was the cause of George Bell's death? What if he fell, could not get up and then suffered for several days before he finally died?
1
Am amazed that no one has seen fit to comment on the number of pet owners who pass away with no one responsible to take care of their defenseless animals. Imagine if you were a dog or cat,or several dogs and cats, and the "humie who has given you asylum, a home and security, as well as being your lifeline and meal ticket, is lying there, stone dead. Bewilderment and fear would quickly set in, and chances r that, unless u had a reliable neighbor or several to save the animals, they would be taken to a shelter and euthanized within a very short period of time. GB's death may have been happy or unhappy for him. We will never know.But I am glad that there were no innocent animals, as far as we know, in his apartment who would have faced an unknown and probably grisly fate. PET OWNERS take heed: Make sure you have someone to look after ur kids in the event of ur incapacitation or death.
6
An important issue, but TOTALLY irrelevant to this article. Thanks for muddying the waters, as is the wont of so many fanatics.
3
This is good & logical advice, as I was reading the story I was hoping they wouldn't state that they found starving or dead animals...apparently George Bell didn't want pets or anyone in his life.
REmigwar; Nothing fanatical about making sure that your kith and kin are looked after in the event of. Only a speciest would think othewise. I know good samaritans who have intervened to save animals more or less abandoned after their owner has passed away. Animals can't defend themselves if something untoward were to happen to their master..Remember the ancient Latin maxim: "Altieri vivas oportet, si vis tibi vivere,"engraved in stone on a bench in Central Park and 72nd Street. Happiness is found in living for others. Altruism is the highest calling of mankind.
I read this article out to my wife who never quite understood why I, as a UK resident and citizen, took out my subscription to the NYT. As I finished reading we both knew why I had done so. This represents the very highest quality of journalism...
7
"Mr. Bell was actually amazing in accumulating so much money in his lifetime. How did he do it? He apparently had few, if any, debts. He should have been a renowned expert on how to accumulate savings without a high-powered job (or, at times, without a job at all). He must have been a financial genius".
I have wondered that too.
He was getting almost double the Social Security I get after 33 years of teaching primary grade children in the United States/Aizona public school system.
Irregardless,my blessings to George Bell.
In reply to Richard Grayson
I have wondered that too.
He was getting almost double the Social Security I get after 33 years of teaching primary grade children in the United States/Aizona public school system.
Irregardless,my blessings to George Bell.
In reply to Richard Grayson
"Irregardless"? And you TAUGHT school children? Really? Thanks for corroborating my suspicion about the diminishing quality of public education in the U.S.
2
Garrison Keeler once said he mistrusted news reporters because they would regard his untimely death as a career opportunity. Some people choose to live in obscurity. Then the NY Times comes along and throws them under the bus when they're dead and can't defend themselves. Kleinfeld is a good writer and the Times is a great paper. But not everything they do is good.
11
The public administrator ",,,prefers the total [funeral] expense to to come in under $5,000..." George Bell's estate received "a funeral bill of $4,873." Gosh. What a coincidence.
If Simonson Funeral Home charged the estate $4,873 for a direct cremation, the estate got ripped off. Funeral director John Sommese did the following:
- loaded a wooden cremation coffin in a rented hearse and drove it to the morgue;
- at the morgue, Sommese checked the body's identity tag;
- Mr. Sommese watched as the morgue attendant used a hydraulic lift to place Bell's body into the coffin;
- Mr. Sommese drove the coffin to Fresh Pond Crematory where workers unloaded it. Presumably, he didn't stick around for the cremation process.
Sommese is quoted as saying: "Does it matter that this man should be cremated with respect? Yes, it does."
To the tune of $4,873.
If Simonson Funeral Home charged the estate $4,873 for a direct cremation, the estate got ripped off. Funeral director John Sommese did the following:
- loaded a wooden cremation coffin in a rented hearse and drove it to the morgue;
- at the morgue, Sommese checked the body's identity tag;
- Mr. Sommese watched as the morgue attendant used a hydraulic lift to place Bell's body into the coffin;
- Mr. Sommese drove the coffin to Fresh Pond Crematory where workers unloaded it. Presumably, he didn't stick around for the cremation process.
Sommese is quoted as saying: "Does it matter that this man should be cremated with respect? Yes, it does."
To the tune of $4,873.
6
In a small cemetery in PA, Chisuk Emuna Congregation, there is at the far end of a long sidewalk a group of small headstones that lie almost flush with ground. One of them is marked, Baby Furman, 1948. He is my wife's brother who died at childbirth. The new born was never named. There are several markers like that. I often passed them and wondered who they were. About 15 years ago, just after meeting my new wife to be, we want to the cemetery for the High Holy Days. We visited the grave sites and then we walked up the old sidewalk. When we stopped at the stone marked Baby Furman my wife told me that this is where her baby brother is laid to rest. We offered a prayer and placed stones on the marker.
I think that until then this was the loneliest and saddest place. We remained in PA until late in 2014 and each year before the holidays we visited the graves of our loved ones. I believe that the children who didn't live, live not only in our hearts. Their graves may look isolated and alone but they are not. Being alone is not the same as being forgotten. We always remember.
I think that until then this was the loneliest and saddest place. We remained in PA until late in 2014 and each year before the holidays we visited the graves of our loved ones. I believe that the children who didn't live, live not only in our hearts. Their graves may look isolated and alone but they are not. Being alone is not the same as being forgotten. We always remember.
5
It seems that everyone is presuming that Mr. Bell was lonely. Many of us enjoy our solitude.
9
A tragic scene from the "ugly underbelly" of the American Dream - dying alone. People living out their whole lives in quiet desperation and in the end they're simply forgotten, and yet there's a whole bureaucratic process that comes into play that systematically officiates your death to make sure it's legit. Wills, insurance policies, pensions, social security, assets, savings, collectibles, cash stuck away in cookie jars, all just other forms of "hoarding" to give us a false sense of security as we wither away towards our final judgment day. George Bell's life and death is probably more typical of the average American than we'd like to admit. We desperately claw our way through life trying to balance the ups and downs hoping the effort will yield some sort of satisfaction or purpose, but for all too many like George Bell life gets derailed somehow and becomes like a looping "train wreck" in slow motion where our daily routine morphs into a surrealistic blend of the macabre and the pathetic. Dying alone, one of the American Dream's darker realities people would rather not talk about.
2
REDEANMARSHALL: Well written comment, but again full of dangerous assumptions re GB. Dying alone or dying with kith and kin present:What difference does it make?You are still dead, and no longer able to enjoy the things of this life. Some people are born misanthropes, or at least feel uncomfortable around others. They have few affective links with their fellow human beings, and they prefer it that way. Being gregarious was not part of GB's nature. As a former skydiver with static line jumps on my resume and in my log book, I was fascinated by the fact that GB also had certificates in skydiving. Would like to know from what airport and the nature of the jumps. Maybe someone can tell me.
More than 1000 comments from readers ! Can you imagine, let aside count, the numbers of homeless persons in the USA and Canada, that would be touched by the article if they only read it ?
2
The picture taken of Mr. Bell’s cassette rack makes for fascinating viewing. He had a wide range of taste. Country, Neil Diamond, Julio Iglesias, the Beach Boys, the Carpenters and Creedence Clearwater Revival are clearly represented, as is more modern fare from the Bangles, Blondie, Gloria Gaynor, Donna Summer and Melissa Etheridge. There’s also a Christmas hits collection.
It looks as if many are mix tapes; probably assembled by Mr. Bell himself with trouble taken to label them neatly. Many of us did the same thing before the advent of the CD burner. Which begs the question. Where are his CDs? The article mentions “music tapes and videos” only.
Possibly he was comfortable without the music platform of the last quarter century. Why spend the money to upgrade to CD quality? Given that it’s the music that matters and not the media that conveys it, Mr. Bell was a person of some depth.
It looks as if many are mix tapes; probably assembled by Mr. Bell himself with trouble taken to label them neatly. Many of us did the same thing before the advent of the CD burner. Which begs the question. Where are his CDs? The article mentions “music tapes and videos” only.
Possibly he was comfortable without the music platform of the last quarter century. Why spend the money to upgrade to CD quality? Given that it’s the music that matters and not the media that conveys it, Mr. Bell was a person of some depth.
3
I had the same thought; as I looked at his choices in music, I thought "my kind of guy."
2
Came back to this story again this morning, as it it's so well written and moving.... however, it's either a New York, Op-Ed, U.S. or Obit section article, not top news.
JBK 007: That my dear, is a matter of opinion.
2
In a word: WOW! Powerful times a thousand. I am certain I will never forget this story or George Bell until the end of my days. Kudos to N.R. Kleinfield.
7
"“One thing about George is he didn’t get personal,” he said. “Not ever.”" So I think he had chosen the way he lived, and died.
Thank you for this great story.
Thank you for this great story.
3
It's so nice that the government has a service for tidying up for those who die alone. I found it very comforting to know this, though I myself do not expect to ever go a day without speaking to my children and other relatives. It's too bad that there wasn't a service before death to help this old fellow keep clean; he might have been more comfortable and more open to human contact if his place weren't so dirty.
2
Like many others I found this article extremely compelling on so many levels, and as another commenter noticed, the comments are as interesting as the article because they expose our own insecurities. One for me is that no matter who we are, we need to get our LITERAL houses in order. I'm only in my 50s but a few years ago became overwhelmed with the idea of "stuff" that I had. When I die, I don't want my children to have to deal with it. Most of it is meanngiless to me and I don't want it anymore! I've begun to pare it down and hope that by the time I die it will be a simple and straightforward process for all involved. Now if i could just get my husband on board....
7
I can see clearly how this happens. I know a guy who when he was 25 years younger was active, social and successful. He always had an anger issue and his financial security allowed him to ride both saddles, his own opinionated, rude, cocky one and the one that takes one to greater success. Money helped mute the reactions of people around him. He felt empowered. He was an intellect, interesting but socially inept. The fine line between isolation and interaction forever seemed present from my observations. The world changed, he lost his position, money became tight, and each of the people he bullied, left him, some with succinct, truthful yet nasty words in their parting. He is alone, old and broken. It's sad. Yet, he created it. I stay in touch but rarely try to see him. He is a hoarder. He grew ill last year, and has no one in his life to pick him up from the hospital, take him food. I saw how this entire situation came to be, and there's nothing anyone could've done to prevent it. He was fairly horrible to people. His parents created insecurities, and a fair amount of abuse, so that in adulthood, once he had money, he used it as a whip, cruelly and gleefully. Things didn't work out so well. He most certainly will die alone.
2
This is possibly one of the saddest stories I have read. No one deserves to die alone. Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned here.
Wonder if George Bell ever thought he'd have the "15 minutes of fame" that he has in this article.
1
Sorry, but as interesting as this article is to me as a reader, it is a GROSS breach of Mr. Bell's right to privacy. I would hope that such right is not extinguished upon death. The thought of having my life picked apart posthumously in front of millions is horrifying.
13
What an incredible story. This brilliantly written article was able to educate us about the process and the impact of how isolation in modern society shapes people's lives and identities.
It was really touching to read this man's tale. In a way, his life and his circumstances do not seem like an exception. As we have become masters of our individuality, we have also become victims of the spectre of isolation and the death of what we like to think as "community" Well, perhaps, "community" is something that is to be prized, an organism, if done well, that validates and celebrates its members.
George Bell may never know the outpouring of support he has received here. His lovely, hard-working friends the same. His old flame sent him a card that still professed love and affection. The fading little things of connections, those fragile memories that turn to nothing upon death of the isolated individual, for a brief moment shone on top of the sky. Thank you to the writer and the editor for publishing such a piece.
I do not know how, but we must tackle isolation, we must find ways to validate and celebrate our people, no matter how imperfect they may have been and seem. Rest in Peace George Bell, and to all of his friends, and to his old flame. Bless those good people that knew him and the good people that work everyday to find out who these people were, for bringing a sense of humanity and dignity to people's lives.
It was really touching to read this man's tale. In a way, his life and his circumstances do not seem like an exception. As we have become masters of our individuality, we have also become victims of the spectre of isolation and the death of what we like to think as "community" Well, perhaps, "community" is something that is to be prized, an organism, if done well, that validates and celebrates its members.
George Bell may never know the outpouring of support he has received here. His lovely, hard-working friends the same. His old flame sent him a card that still professed love and affection. The fading little things of connections, those fragile memories that turn to nothing upon death of the isolated individual, for a brief moment shone on top of the sky. Thank you to the writer and the editor for publishing such a piece.
I do not know how, but we must tackle isolation, we must find ways to validate and celebrate our people, no matter how imperfect they may have been and seem. Rest in Peace George Bell, and to all of his friends, and to his old flame. Bless those good people that knew him and the good people that work everyday to find out who these people were, for bringing a sense of humanity and dignity to people's lives.
7
I continue to believe that this story is disrespectful to the dead, as a man who lived such a private life would not care to have the intimate details of his life flashed on a major website.
I'd rather die in my home than face away in pain in a hospital, personally.
I'd rather die in my home than face away in pain in a hospital, personally.
10
The reporter tells us that the two gentlemen evaluating the contents of the apartment are "divorced." How is that possibly relevant?
The reporter describes in unflattering terms how the deceased looks in a photo. We all (will) look like we (will) look. Ought we all die young so as to make for a good-looking corpse and withstand the scrutiny of a reporter?
Please feel free to similarly tell us the reporter's marital status and publish a photo of him.
The reporter describes in unflattering terms how the deceased looks in a photo. We all (will) look like we (will) look. Ought we all die young so as to make for a good-looking corpse and withstand the scrutiny of a reporter?
Please feel free to similarly tell us the reporter's marital status and publish a photo of him.
8
And the contents of his bathroom! Lol
1
A great front page story devoted to something other than worldly strife and domestic political agendas!
Thanks!!!
Thanks!!!
2
utterly profound. Thank you, NYT, for this type of journalism. It's needed in this hectic, modern world where the daily news is so full of strife.
3
Television, the great isolator, has become the opiate of the masses.
Why go outside when your best friends are on TV?
Why go outside when your best friends are on TV?
1
Thank you Mr Kleinfield for writing this piece. Once I started, I could not put my phone down until I finished it. The world stopped around me. It wasn't just the story of a man's passing; your choice of telling the story with touches of investigator and hints of humanism made for a great read. Beyond the story, Mr Bell; a gentle giant whose passing may not have been noticed at the time, but it will surely resonate with more than a few readers for a lifetime. If I ever have grandchildren, most likely I will try to tell them the story without ever doing it justice.
1
Very well researched and written.
I tweeted and face booked it for all my friends and others to read.
I live alone and have cut myself off from all so called relatives for my own peace of mind.
I've made paid provisions for the disposal of my earthly remains, but I am sorry that I won't be around to make sure the plan I paid for is carried out.
I tweeted and face booked it for all my friends and others to read.
I live alone and have cut myself off from all so called relatives for my own peace of mind.
I've made paid provisions for the disposal of my earthly remains, but I am sorry that I won't be around to make sure the plan I paid for is carried out.
1
Wonderful, absorbing article. N. R. Kleinfield, you are a writer's writer.
4
A wonderful piece of journalism. My thanks to the author and NYTimes.
2
Thank you for closing the loop.
1
Interesting story to read when you wake up in the middle of the night, alone, in an apartment where the garbage really needs to be taken out ...
5
been there!!! lol, thanks. "interesting" story & depressing.
Everyone deserves to be remembered. Everyone deserves to be cared about. The sad part is that he could have been engaged more, involved more, not nearly so lonely sad, alone, and depressed. Now the world knows him, but it's too late.
Rest In Peace, George. God Bless You.
Rest In Peace, George. God Bless You.
1
Maybe if he had had friends or relatives they would have prevented photographers and journalists in the apartment after the death. With such strict guidelines for a death it is amazing these same people can just let any journalist or photographer into someones private home to be used as the journalist or photographer sees fit.
4
Thank you for writing. The content of this article is remarkable.
2
Amazing journalism. Those who can not understand the power in these words need to look into the mirror of their own souls. This story gets to the most powerful question in the pantheon of human existence. What is the meaning of life. And the fact that it is not answered is what makes this even more powerful.
2
Death is always a sad occasion, and I'm sure it's especially sad in most cases when the deceased and their next of kin cannot be easily identified. Yet, there's something kind of nice in that despite today's culture of social media and oversharing, some people still manage to slip through the cracks of their own accord, living their lives so furtively. Maybe it's just the severe introvert in me that makes such a feat so seemingly awe worthy. Many have expressed sadness for Mr. Bell, as well as their own fears of dying similarly alone and unnoticed, but I can't help but get the sense that perhaps there is a possibility he would have wanted it that way?
5
My mother died like this. She lived alone, my father having passed away a couple years before. She was happy to be in her home and had a wonderful neighbor who kept an eye on her. My sister and I both spoke with mom on Friday night and on Monday we got hysterical calls from the neighbor who had been out of town for the weekend. There was no answer when she knocked on the door, there were several newspapers on the steps so she used her key and went inside. She found my mother dead in bed. She had been dead for several days. It was July in Great Falls, Montana. The coroner said it was a good thing the air conditioner had been on. Even though she died alone I know she was happy to be in her home and I would say she was happy to have died in her own bed. This piece was so beautiful and well written, thank you for it. After reading the comments, I can see that the piece has given many people many things to think about which is an important goal of journalism. Excellent work
4
Incredible story. Thank you. I wish I could carry it around with me in pocket magazine form, a daily reminder that death is real but it doesn't have to be quite so alone.
1
I wrote a short comment last night about what a great article this is, informative, interesting and respectful.. It seems to me many people are missing the point of it. George Bell could be anyone. For me what is fascinating and what I learned was about the process. What happens when someone does and there's no one around to make arrangements. All the agency's involved. How it gets paid for. What happens when no one claims the body. The city employees and how they feel. This was the fantastic investigative journalism. Some of the folks commenting thought it disrespectful of the writer to show the apt. etc., and they may have a point. But I think in this situation more often than not, if the person is a loner the home might be messy, esp if the person dies suddenly and is there for awhile. So as far as enlightening me ( us ), Mr Bell helped out tremendously.
6
Sounds like Mr Bell did alright. He was smart and saved his money, and his final practical joke on the world was to bequeath his treasures to the people he was fond of. In this society we are allowed a lot of privacy, and when we get to be elderly, the emails, phone calls, regular mail (except for mountains of solicitations) seem to fade away. So be it. We start to focus on the end, and it's a somber affair. American privacy allows you to roost on your pile possessions and memories. It's a unique rite of passage. Some of us are better at arranging the piles. I especially like the resulting comments. Everybody's got somebody that they ignored or, better yet, forgot about. And this article allows a little catharsis. Even if it's just lip service to the dead.
He might have avoided personal interaction because he was embarrassed by his obesity, his drinking, his lack of control over his environment and personal life.
1
While many commenters focused on the sadness of Mr. Bell's life and death, I came away touched by the larger societal system that cares for the dead. It was a pleasure to read of the many workers who help to clean up after, recycle, and put to final rest the lives of those who die alone. The details were fascinating in their ability to conjure a fantasy of his life: the car, the watch, the Marilyn Monroe plates, the bank account.
This piece strikes a perfect tone of wonder and mystery without being sensationalistic, lurid, or concocting too much of a fantasy ending. This is the kind of journalism we need, as human beings, to continue to read. Thanks.
This piece strikes a perfect tone of wonder and mystery without being sensationalistic, lurid, or concocting too much of a fantasy ending. This is the kind of journalism we need, as human beings, to continue to read. Thanks.
2
Thanks NYT for a fascinating read! As depressing as this story is on one level, I'm impressed to read the great lengths that agencies go through to find relatives when a person dies alone, ID someone, find track down heirs, etc. and to learn how that a person is not cremated until an ID is made. Kudos to the person who insisted that it be put in writing that George Bell's X-rays had destroyed. Amazing how the X-rays suddenly became available. Without them, who knows what would have happened to George Bell's body.
3
"Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"--Clarence the Angel, It's A Wonderful Life
5
As a former paramedic who worked in many areas of NYC, as well as in George Bell's neighborhood, I can say that if I've been to one, I've been to a thousand apartments like the one that George Bell lived and died in. Although I would spend only a few moments there, I usually sought out a photograph of the deceased, my way of recognizing and paying my final respects to a person who, when alive, probably harbored all the hope and aspirations that we all have, and which came to a seemingly inglorious end.
8
Did George Bell agree to this invasion of his privacy? Who allowed the NYT reporter to enter this man's apartment and show it content to the whole world? That a man dies does not mean his privacy dies with him. And all that in the name of caring for people. How strange!
10
I am very happy this piece got a lot of comments and a follow up article on what kind of comments! Good for you NR ...I commented because anyone who has been at the Times so long as you have, deserved a comment: Good writing.
2
so he was unlucky at the end of his life.
What right does the NYTIMES to exploit that common fact for the sake of some collective voyeurism to satisfy the slightly luckier 's sense of superiority. .
shame.
What a disgusting piece of "sharing" in a world with no privacy.
What right does the NYTIMES to exploit that common fact for the sake of some collective voyeurism to satisfy the slightly luckier 's sense of superiority. .
shame.
What a disgusting piece of "sharing" in a world with no privacy.
4
agree.
Dear New York times, we realize that even in the US someone can die without anyone noticing, and we realize that their apartment will then be sold to a valued at a multiple of the original value by a foreign investor, so please spare us this campaign. It is for the living, that the reality in the US is becoming ever so unbearable, not for the dead.
A profoundly sad and moving essay that both frightened and disturbed me. Sometimes I worry I will end up (like my uncle) in my own variation of this scenario. The generous selection of pictures speak as much as the text. I can't help but wonder if Eleanore Albert, the fourth name in George Bell's will, was the love of his life. (It's the romantic in me.) Did denying himself a place in her life create a void that he tried to fill with food and alcohol? I will be haunted by this piece, perhaps for the rest of my life.
2
Thank u Mr. N. R. Kleinfield! I bet George Bell, even in one of his wildest dreams would've never thought he'd make for such interesting reading in the New York Times....I believe he's smiling in heaven right now.
2
Compelling reading, about a lonely man's life after he's passed. We know him now. Thanks for this fine treatment in memoriam.
I know the writer's intention is to inspire some compassion and interest in readers about Mr. Bell's semi-anonymous death but - no offense -- if this "every man" is meant to resonate with all of us in that "there but for fortune, go you or go I" sort of way -- It really doesn't. By all accounts, from all that the writer has shared with us about Mr. Bell's life -- especially the alcoholism -- and the "attachment" to his parents/mother -- and the hoarding not only of things but of money (sitting in his bank account - why?) -- from all of these details; meant to inspire compassion and empathy -- I just don't care. I don't care about this alcoholic and his cluttered home. I don't care. That isn't to say that I care - either -- about those who die with headlines on the front pages of the Times and/or whose death generates long lines around the funeral homes. I may not care about those either. I care that we have a culture where empty lives are almost pre-determined; where there are probably millions of George Bells -- dying with friends and family or dying alone -- who have led lives of quiet desperation. @johannaclear
2
He died alone, yet people cared.
3
Quite simply one of the best articles I have read all year. A great piece of investigative journalism. Putting together both Mr Bell's life (probably all we could ever know of it) and an interesting description of how an estate is administered in New York (and the unlikely, but nevertheless grateful, beneficiaries).
There are many people who chose to live alone. There are others for whom loneliness becomes an addiction. This is usually associated with a drug or alcohol additiction. Over time, the drug/alcohol displaces people. It prevents anyone from becoming too close. That seems to be the tragedy of Mr Bell's life. A reputation for being able to drink heavily which, amongst youth, is lauded and remembered by peers, can by middle age and later life become a curse.
There are many people who chose to live alone. There are others for whom loneliness becomes an addiction. This is usually associated with a drug or alcohol additiction. Over time, the drug/alcohol displaces people. It prevents anyone from becoming too close. That seems to be the tragedy of Mr Bell's life. A reputation for being able to drink heavily which, amongst youth, is lauded and remembered by peers, can by middle age and later life become a curse.
2
This is some serious, thoughtfully articulated literary journalism--one of my favorite long form pieces at the NYT in a long time. At first, George Bell comes off as a modern day Bartleby the Scrivener, a profoundly lonely unknown soul cut off from humanity. As Kleinfield delves deeper into the mystery of his life, Mr. Bell emerges as a loner, yes, but also a real and understandable human being. It is all-too-easy for me to think of some people I have known following a similar course.
I believe men like George Bell feel there is dignity in dying alone, in keeping all of one's griefs to one's self, in not reaching out. It's tragic to experience death this way (or so it seems to me in my limited perspective), but I'm guessing Mr. Bell felt it was his only choice.
I believe men like George Bell feel there is dignity in dying alone, in keeping all of one's griefs to one's self, in not reaching out. It's tragic to experience death this way (or so it seems to me in my limited perspective), but I'm guessing Mr. Bell felt it was his only choice.
1
- He decided not to marry the love of his life b/c he didn't want to sign a pre-nup abt $$? Makes no sense. What's the worst that could have happened? Did he get bad advice? That wasn't the real reason? He regretted it all his life? Crazy.
- This man WANTED to be alone. It's only OK for Greta Garbo? To go all Bathos about his solitary death = "He should not have been allowed that choice." People so presumptuous, or projecting their OWN mentality everywhere. Also crazy.
- This man WANTED to be alone. It's only OK for Greta Garbo? To go all Bathos about his solitary death = "He should not have been allowed that choice." People so presumptuous, or projecting their OWN mentality everywhere. Also crazy.
1
This story has gotten a tremendous amount of comments, and my guess is because, while it tells a beautifully and meticulously researched tale of the reconstruction of George Bell's life in the aftermath of his death, it also speaks to some of the deepest tenets of our mortality. "As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and it's place knows it no more." Psalm 103:15, 16. This man lived on Earth with us, but when he left us, it's almost as though he was never here, and that makes this story so sad and poignant.
2
Having read this article you can't help but try to live your life to the fullest, strengthen existing relationships and make new ones. Also reminds you of importance of experiences and irrelevance of material possessions. Thank you for sharing this very personal and thought provoking story!
2
Rest in Peace, Mr George Bell ! God loves you no matters what.
Being childless and a former soldier, who had to be prepared make the supreme sacrifice and be a comrade of the unknown soldier, in the worst case, I had and am prepared to meet my maker alone.
I just hope it is fast, peaceful and painless when it comes.
Belief, faith and prayers, after doing one's best, is a great comforter in such inevitable and overwhelming circumstances. I found it in religion. I hope you will find your own comforter.
God Bless !
God bless.
Being childless and a former soldier, who had to be prepared make the supreme sacrifice and be a comrade of the unknown soldier, in the worst case, I had and am prepared to meet my maker alone.
I just hope it is fast, peaceful and painless when it comes.
Belief, faith and prayers, after doing one's best, is a great comforter in such inevitable and overwhelming circumstances. I found it in religion. I hope you will find your own comforter.
God Bless !
God bless.
2
This article makes me think the condition of one's soul is much more important than the condition of one's apartment. It appears in life and death Big George did much more good than harm despite any possible mental health issues. His apartment might have been a mess, but all evidence suggests he had a kind and loving soul. We should all be so lucky to die like George Bell.
2
Except of course when he swallowed the fish! :-)
The human race is a revolting species - better to be on one's own and to have as little as possible to do with them.
3
This moving well-written story ensues thoughts on the need to maintain closer
ties , besides searching ways to fulfill our time with meaningful activities.
These might help to soothe emotional suffering and, perhaps, aid others too, depending on the chosen work and/or surroundings, using talents and
experience to further community development . Anguish and solitude may
be attenuated by helping others , while we have the energy to act - afterwards - it shall be the other´s turn .
ties , besides searching ways to fulfill our time with meaningful activities.
These might help to soothe emotional suffering and, perhaps, aid others too, depending on the chosen work and/or surroundings, using talents and
experience to further community development . Anguish and solitude may
be attenuated by helping others , while we have the energy to act - afterwards - it shall be the other´s turn .
Stories like this help me keep my subscrition especially when considering NYT editorial opinions.
Thank you, Mr. Kleinfield, for another perfect piece of compassionate reporting. It takes immense skill and restraint to tell such a story without making the subject -- a hoarder who died alone, in squalor -- come across as pitiful or somehow repellant, and firmly Other. The portrait of George Bell painted here is that of a man no more flawed than most, deeply loved by some, and greatly missed by at least one. It's my feeling that if even one person truly misses you when you go you've done well in life.
5
When my mother died over six years ago I was walking on a beach about 700 miles distant. I inquired and ascertained that at approximately the time of her death I had the thought, as I walked alone, "We all walk through this life alone." At the time of this thought I had no knowledge of her death.
2
THIS is what journalism looks like.
12
Judging a guy's life by a messed up apartment caused by who knows what at 72years- dementia maybe?, seems kind of strange. My neat-as-a-pin mom began collecting plastic butter tubs, kleenex, papers, when she got dementia. That means Zero about who she is.
I appreciate that we have folks able to do the work to try to find connections and do the work for the dead, but you really don't know anything about this man's life. Probably every family in America has a version of Mr. Bell in their extended tree.
His legacy seemed to have been bequeathing his money to friends. Lots of people manage to leave a trail of misery behind, not just a messed up house. America is not big on the fact that everyone is going to die, and that some of us are going to lose our marbles before that happens.
I appreciate that we have folks able to do the work to try to find connections and do the work for the dead, but you really don't know anything about this man's life. Probably every family in America has a version of Mr. Bell in their extended tree.
His legacy seemed to have been bequeathing his money to friends. Lots of people manage to leave a trail of misery behind, not just a messed up house. America is not big on the fact that everyone is going to die, and that some of us are going to lose our marbles before that happens.
20
Mr. Ball probably would not have remembered to move his car on those days, and his building management would have questioned certain forgetfulnesses, had they happened (a missed monthly check, for example), I did consider EOAD, but that does not seem to be the case here,
Thank you to N.R. Kleinfield for this exceptional piece of journalism. It was an amazing piece of journalism. I read it online and again in the printed version. Other stories have affected me, but none like the one of George Bell's death. Again, thank you NY Times and N.R. Kleinfield.
11
I read this on Friday, and here it is Sunday...
6
Raymond Carver's short story, "A Small Good Thing," is a brilliant portrayal of the corroding effects of isolation on the human soul, and the redemptive power that paying compassionate attention to the pain of others can have. The story makes a good companion to N.R. Kleinfields haunting piece.
13
George Bell was painfully hiding his private darkness from everybody. And now he is powerless to stop not just a single stranger, but all the world from browsing through it.
And we are looking, reading and don't see the sad and awful paradox of this beautifully written ugly intrusion?
So much praise from the commenters - are we deaf, blind, senseless?
And we are looking, reading and don't see the sad and awful paradox of this beautifully written ugly intrusion?
So much praise from the commenters - are we deaf, blind, senseless?
26
I heard, saw & was emotionally moved by the excellent presentation of a part of a real persons life and the surrounding people that enveloped a necessary process to bring as much dignity to death as possible. I was born in 1942 and am fortunate to have a spouse, family & friends; my choice to keep and my choice to accept. I totally respect those who wish to lead their own paths of life while realizing that certainly those who suffer from mental illness need to be aided by society. Who can state that George Bell's life was troubled? I cannot decide that. Was George in (emotional) pain? I don't know. Perhaps this fine piece of journalism will allow a loner to seek someone or someone to seek a loner. Perhaps it will allow a loner to reassess their situation. The story, the comments, the reactions, for me, are all positive and if it was my life that was reported I would be pleased if I could help one person. But I cannot say that George Bell would say the same.
1
"Each of us is solitary, each of us dies alone." ~C. P. Snow~
7
Powerful story!
This comment is not related to George Bell, but two small paragraphs in the article raises a very interesting point about court and state-mandated advertising in publications such as the NY Law Journal.
As the article says, the counsel in the public administrator's office, Gerard Sweeney, is required to publish notice in a newspaper for four weeks to alert unlocated relatives at costs ranging from $250 - $4,000. The article says the obvious -- the odds of relatives seeing the notices are approximately zero. "Among thousands of such ads that Mr. Sweeney has placed, he is still awaiting his first response."
Similarly, all new LLCs in New York State are required to publish notice in two publications at a cost that can reach $2,000 -- a huge tax on new businesses.
In an era where publishing online, either in social media or on a state website would be free, one wonders why NYS is forcing estates and new businesses to subsidize publications such as the NY Law Journal.
This comment is not related to George Bell, but two small paragraphs in the article raises a very interesting point about court and state-mandated advertising in publications such as the NY Law Journal.
As the article says, the counsel in the public administrator's office, Gerard Sweeney, is required to publish notice in a newspaper for four weeks to alert unlocated relatives at costs ranging from $250 - $4,000. The article says the obvious -- the odds of relatives seeing the notices are approximately zero. "Among thousands of such ads that Mr. Sweeney has placed, he is still awaiting his first response."
Similarly, all new LLCs in New York State are required to publish notice in two publications at a cost that can reach $2,000 -- a huge tax on new businesses.
In an era where publishing online, either in social media or on a state website would be free, one wonders why NYS is forcing estates and new businesses to subsidize publications such as the NY Law Journal.
24
That's exactly right! They're totally wasting money & time! The only people who read the obituaries r the elderly, they need to use social media for assistance in locating next of kin.
wonderful story. Thank you
3
I'm not sure if anyone has said this but it occurred to me as I read this again that I wonder if this man was a very closeted gay man, which would add some explanation to this story. I was looking at his music selection and it hit me, when considering all the other information uncovered about him, that he might be gay. Obviously you don't have to be gay to listen to Donna Summer, but the idea hit me. I am an older gay man, so my comments should not be taken as anti-gay in any way.
15
So bizarre because it crossed my mind that he might be gay & that some of his disconnect from life could've been from trying to be someone he really wasn't & just deciding it was easier at the end to keep to himself so as not to reveal his truths to the only friends he had left. I guess we will all take some secrets with us to the grave.
"The lonely Death of George Bell" What death isn't? Would it have been more social with a party?
3
Undertaker: "I believe we’re all connected."
Yes, we are all connected, part of a community whether or not we want to be, and that is what makes this story of dying a lonely death exceptionally sad.
Yes, we are all connected, part of a community whether or not we want to be, and that is what makes this story of dying a lonely death exceptionally sad.
8
The guy dies with excess of half a million bucks. He could have spend a couple of tens of thousands on a decade or two of psychotherapy…shrinkage. Apparently he chose a saloon instead. His business. My dad's brother, a man with a family and social ability had a heart attack and died in the subway. We all die. My mom's sister looked up and said,"no one gets outta this place alive." I just wish he had burial in a military cemetery as he served for many years. These days the reserves get deployed overseas. Anyway, he should have had a military burial and internment in a national cemetery. He was shorted on that.
11
The article said that he received an Honorable Discharge in 1966 from the Army Reserve. Is it possible that he served in Vietman? Even if he didn't, it was certainly a turbulent time. I wonder if he might have had PTSD, which of course would have been left untreated That could have led him down his path.
Everyone is someone and everyone is worthy of notice. That is what the brilliant writer, N.R. Kleinfield, has shown us in this very sad, unforgettable story. Thank you, Mr. Kleinfield, for crafting a worthy memorial to our fellow human being, George Bell.
16
Simply stated, you have captured the essence of the whole thing.
2
there is no rationale for people being afraid of dying alone, as "die" can only be a solo, anyway. People are often afraid of living alone. And maybe more importantly, once a person "dies alone", the person has no chance to not live alone. The tone has been set. it's a tragedy not a turning-around comedy.
My Aunt Sue died sick and alone. Haunts me to this day. Breaks my heart. I'd give anything to give her a hug and tell her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. There must have been someone who would want to know that George died. Someone.
All the lonely people...
All the lonely people...
5
How heartbreaking and sad! I hope there is lesson in this for everyone. If you do live by yourself please leave a journal with names of your relatives or friends or state if you have none. It is important.
additionally, what is important to remember is that we all feel for this lonely human because in fact we see ouselves in him and we all care about him because we are human.
Knowing that we all care and feel why are wars still plaguing our world?
additionally, what is important to remember is that we all feel for this lonely human because in fact we see ouselves in him and we all care about him because we are human.
Knowing that we all care and feel why are wars still plaguing our world?
Here is a man that lived alone and didn't allow his closest friend to enter his apartment. This article disrespects his life and his wishes, sharing photos, details of his possessions and HIPPA protected medical information with the public. I expect more from the NYTimes.
39
The dead have no privacy rights. I'm not being flippant: I am stating a fact. HIPPA is designed to protect the rights of people who are alive.
1
Nobody's life is entirely private especially when u die in the condition he did where it took quite a number of State agencies & others to wrap his ending in a neat little legally finalized & correct package. Not everyone will pass away with all their affairs in order & so that's life!
2
hippa law protects medical information 50 years after a person dies. More importantly the spirit of the law is that in regards to an individual's medical information.. If it's not your business, then it's NOT your business. As a homecare nurse, there are a lot of important facts in this article but the disregard for privacy of this man is unjustifiable
As touching as parts of this story are, am I alone in feeling that it feels pretty exploitative overall? Posting a massive article about what a loner this man was and splashing photos of his hoarder apartment all over the New York Times hardly seems like a fitting tribute to a human being who clearly preferred to live in obscurity.
39
And George Bell has no way to prevent the author from showing the ugliness he was so carefully and painfully hiding to the whole world...
23
. . . but it does not matter, because he is dead, so he will not only have no pain or regret, because he is dead. Did all you people lamenting how he would have been hurt understand that he is dead, and gone, and does not feel or think or exist any longer? He is gone! You can talk about him!
Exactly! Why to respect a dead person? We are all allowed to rummage in his life now! Who should give a damn about his FORMER privacy or his FORMER wishes? - he is dead!
This article reminds me of the victims of the Chicago heat wave in 1995: they were elderly, socially isolated, living in sub-optimal housing, and no family around to check on them. Cook County had hundreds of George Bell's to investigate after the heat wave which was well-documented in "Heat Wave: A Social Autopsy of Disaster in Chicago" by Eric Klinenberg.
6
Hey! Maybe you’ll win a Pulitzer.
Wouldn’t that be swell.
Wouldn’t that be swell.
1
Great story. Thanks. Loneliness is the companion in this postmodern world.
4
And so Mr. Bell dies his second death, now on the front page of the Times. Those who might have held Mr. Bell in some respect will be uncomfortable with the unsettling pathos that surrounds his death and may prefer to forget him. The article is well written, but was better a subject for fiction to protect Mr. Bell's decency.
27
What an interest history of a common man that became a celebrity in death.
1
I think it's clear George Bell wanted to be left alone, so why didn't you leave him alone?
30
beautiful...unassuming spectacular depiction of a grim reality that is so personal and universal ...in its detail and emptiness.... THANK YOU
7
Superb writing.
7
What a wonderfully written tribute. Kleinfeld equalizes the human experience and levels the existential playing field.
5
I am very saddened to read the George Bell's lonely death article and could not believe that 50000 deaths are to lonely people in NYC. How to reach out to such needy people should be addressed to places of worship. Last part of life is something many do not even think even when they are close tp the final stage. It seems either the world is selfish or act as ignorant that the death is certain.
1
Mr. Bell may have lived a mostly anonymous life like the rest of us but, unlike the rest of us, he ended up with a front page, above the fold obit in the Times that ran for five full pages in the Sunday paper. However, based on reading the article, it sounds like he'd have been horrified by the article. Go figure.
25
Reading this story and reader comments, thinking of my experiences with death and dying, it is evident people are opening up to thinking and sharing very deep personal thoughts and concerns for their own lives. This story makes it easier to empathize with comment writers and therein clear up personal thoughts and fears. Kudos to N.R. Kleinfield for doing what many are unable to do -- getting people to open up to talking about death. Facing our own death is not a topic easily discussed.
13
Some people really relish their solitude, are completely at ease with themselves and who they are. I have a good friend in another city who, when he was treated for cancer, made it clear that he neither wanted nor needed help or sympathy. He didn't even tell his children what was happening, but somehow managed to conceal the entire year's treatment from them.
He's got his issues – don;t we all – but he is really one of the happiest people I know. Not during chemotherapy, obviously. But as his strength returns I am watching his native zest and enthusiasm for life return.
He hasn;t beaten the cancer, and he's well aware of the fact. But it doesn;t faze him in the least. He just keeps on with the simple routines of his life: the various news aggregators he follows, the morning walk, his favorite coffee.
Oh, and by the way. He's a “collector” -- all kinds of interesting objects and books, piled up in boxes all over the place. He loved accumulating them, and I know he loves to have them near, with whatever dreams they foster.
Lord, if we could only bottle this attitude and pass it around!
He's got his issues – don;t we all – but he is really one of the happiest people I know. Not during chemotherapy, obviously. But as his strength returns I am watching his native zest and enthusiasm for life return.
He hasn;t beaten the cancer, and he's well aware of the fact. But it doesn;t faze him in the least. He just keeps on with the simple routines of his life: the various news aggregators he follows, the morning walk, his favorite coffee.
Oh, and by the way. He's a “collector” -- all kinds of interesting objects and books, piled up in boxes all over the place. He loved accumulating them, and I know he loves to have them near, with whatever dreams they foster.
Lord, if we could only bottle this attitude and pass it around!
16
How we die tells about us - our civilization, culture, family.
George Bell is not alone.
He has plenty of company.
George Bell is not alone.
He has plenty of company.
3
Thanks to everyone at the Times for a wonderful, touching, comprehensive and enlightening article. Clearly deeply investigated and heartfelt. Yet another reason I get the paper dropped on my driveway each and every day.
7
This is the type of journalism that makes my subscription worth every cent I pay! I hope the NYT can continue this important work. Thank you so much!
7
What a real story! I don't know but reminds me Willy Loman
5
Among the comments, there's a thread about how terrible it is to die alone and undiscovered for days. But you're dead! You're unconscious. You don't know what's going on. Either I didn't read the story carefully enough or the story didn't speculate, but it's certainly possible that Mr. Bell died all of a sudden, in a matter of seconds, with no pain except perhaps briefly. To me, that is a lot better than suffering with pain and other bodily issues even when you're surrounded by loving people. Although I don't live alone right now, I've preferred living alone much of my adult life. Alone, surrounded by others -- in the end, we all die anyway. I don't think this is a tragic story. Mr. Bell was actually amazing in accumulating so much money in his lifetime. How did he do it? He apparently had few, if any, debts. He should have been a renowned expert on how to accumulate savings without a high-powered job (or, at times, without a job at all). He must have been a financial genius.
14
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Henry David Thoreau.
7
You wouldn't want to quote this if you'd read Pond Scum in New Yorker.
This was a profoundly beautiful story, beautifully written. My own brother died this way early this September. He had estranged himself from his siblings. Only his son, two hours away from him, kept in brief contact, but not often enough to escape a two week window. Mental illness, depression with hoarding behavior, severe loneliness; these are so common, so untreated and so tragic. I think everyone who lives alone without a partner in life fears this very end, I know I sometimes do. People assume that everyone has "family", but this is not the case. This article makes the old admonition "just connect" seem all the more urgent.
8
Thankyou Mr. Kleinfield for writing such an insightful and poignant portrait of a man who's life has now touched many. Dying is easy. It's carrying on that's hard.
6
R.I.P. George Bell. He seemed to had been a law abiding citizen, paid his taxes and voted regularly. His existence is an avatar of human species. His apartment is a symbol of this planet. Sorry wanderer, forlorn creature, with a finite duration on this planet. Nevertheless, in the city of mammon, hyperkinetic humans scurry around as if they try to do something important and status quo of convenient meaning of words remains resilient. We are not authors of our own lives. We are characters in the theater of absurd.
14
Congratulations on an excellent article! Well written and researched, it is full of layers exposing the complexities of human nature.
8
"What qualified someone for the job? Ms. Rosenblatt, the head of the office, summed it up: “People willing to go into these disgusting apartments.”
One of the funniest things I've read in the last 7 days. Thank you for a bit of humor in an otherwise bleak story.
One of the funniest things I've read in the last 7 days. Thank you for a bit of humor in an otherwise bleak story.
2
Dying alone is not what scared me about this story. Everyone dies alone. It was the life that was intentionally lived alone that I found so sad. George was obviously capable of having those beautiful experiences we can have as humans, like talking for hours in a parking lot with a great friend.
This story, to me at least, was about that life-sucking illness called depression. Everything else was just a symptom of that.
This story, to me at least, was about that life-sucking illness called depression. Everything else was just a symptom of that.
8
Is the NY Times becoming a tabloid paper? This article took up 7/8 of the front page above the fold in large type and three more full pages inside. There's a lot going on in the world today that's of great import and interest. The death of George Bell, however regrettable, is not important.
3
How callous. The story was meant to point out that many of your neighbors, right there in Manhattan, are suffering from loneliness and depression. If telling a story about the human condition doesn't qualify as top-notch journalism, I don't know what is. What you rather see? Another story about Hillary's damned emails?
11
Silly you are!
1
Would you rather ten more Hillary Clinton puff-pieces? I was on the verge of ending my subscription, and this genuine piece of journalism renewed my faith in the NYT. Somewhat.
3
What a sad story. I don't know what else to add ~ life can be wonderful OR it can be a very sad and lonely and sorry affair. In a place like NYC, being surrounded by 8 million people can feel as solitary as living on the moon, as this article illustrates.
6
I am flabbergasted that 1212 persons care to write about Geo. Bell, a loner in the Big Apple. People seem to be having ample time on their hands to dabble in such stories of not much of public interest. I salute the U.S.System that honours its unsung obscure men's deaths.
1
The fact you can't understand why others would by touched by the life and death of another human being says much about your own lack of humanity.
8
Shana, I think this is an unduly harsh comment.
I, too, was very moved by this article, but also was amazed to see over 1200 comments.
I don't remember many articles garnering such wide reader response.
I, too, was very moved by this article, but also was amazed to see over 1200 comments.
I don't remember many articles garnering such wide reader response.
Maybe people care about a depressed man, living alone and lonely, in New York. Do you care about your fellow citizens in Pune, who may be in the same condition? A human being is a human being, and that life is worth something. It's worth caring about, and it's worth being horrified that someone could suffer and die alone.
10
I agree that this is a very well researched and interesting story. Perhaps the NYT can get a follow-up story that puts this phenomenon -- people living out their lives in such isolation that they die quite anonymously -- into some sort of international statistical perspective. Is such anomie and solitude a worldwide phenomenon in advanced industrial economies, or, like school shootings, is the US by far the world leader? The reporters will have to be creative using data on such things unclaimed bodies, the numbers of public employees who trace evidence about the deceased or other information to see how many invisible "comrades" George Bell may have around the world.
3
Death is not the story, that was done when you penned the subject. Aside, we should muster ourselves to help those that need attention more closely on our behalf. This article may have raised some awareness. Thank you.
-Rob
-Rob
4
The article goes into the intimate details of George Bell's life. It seems likely that he would not have wanted that kind of exposure either when he was alive or after his death. Doesn't Mr. Bell have a right of privacy that extends beyond his life?
22
As a healthcare professional who works with the elderly, this article does not surprise me. However, I would take issue with the title of the document -- just because Mr. Bell died alone, it does not mean he was lonely. In fact, he might have been just fine and further reading of the article shows he did have a social network, albeit not as close or as extensive as this extroverted country and some readers seem to judge. Only Mr. Bell knows whether he felt his life to be lonely or not.
On another note, the messiness found in many elderly peoples' homes -- and I've done housecalls -- is not necessarily because they chose it that way. There are some with psychologically associated hoarding problems but others are poor and so are concerned about throwing things out that could still be used while others are simply too sick to be able to keep a house in the way they would like.
Finally, I believe we all die alone whether we are physically surrounded by friends or family or not. So I always try to make the best of my days, knowing that every day could be my very last even though I am in my 30s.
On another note, the messiness found in many elderly peoples' homes -- and I've done housecalls -- is not necessarily because they chose it that way. There are some with psychologically associated hoarding problems but others are poor and so are concerned about throwing things out that could still be used while others are simply too sick to be able to keep a house in the way they would like.
Finally, I believe we all die alone whether we are physically surrounded by friends or family or not. So I always try to make the best of my days, knowing that every day could be my very last even though I am in my 30s.
13
I'm more afraid of the odors I leave behind than I am of the life I leave.
3
Some men prefer death alone, Take my wonderful dad, Cy Lewis, managing partner of Bear, Stearns. Stroke at his retirement dinner. He was fed up with Wall Street, had nothing else to do. Did not like his partners. His health was failing. Stricken Thursday at 9:40, at Harmonie Club. His oldest, I drove from Short Hills to be with him in ICU at Sinai. He was struggling, I returned early the next morning; he had lost ground. Later in the afternoon he was unable to open his eyes. Breathing hard. I was scheduled to speak at Phillips Exeter that weekend with Robert H. B. Baldwin. chairman of Morgan Stanley. Dad could not speak. He was able to hear. I said, Dad, I do not care about Exeter. Do you want me to go. He nodded. Unsure, I asked: give me two squeezes if you want me leave, one if you want me to stay. We were holding hands. He crushed me twice. He died in ICU with the equipment beeping the next night at 6:42. His physician had assured me he would make it. I was sure he would not. I knew that he did not want his son around as he was losing it. My dad was a proud man, a brave man, and he wanted to die. He really wanted to end his life.
Freud wrote of The Death Wish. There comes a time...
My dad knew his time had come. Most do.
Like many, my dad was alone in a crowd.
Wall Street is that way.
Freud wrote of The Death Wish. There comes a time...
My dad knew his time had come. Most do.
Like many, my dad was alone in a crowd.
Wall Street is that way.
17
An exceptionally written & researched piece, if grim & existential.
Somehow worse than being found rotting in Grey Gardens is the macabre responsibility left for people to clean up after, and then having all the excruciatingly unremarkable details of one's private past so exhaustively analyzed in public this way. Perhaps the names should have been changed.
Almost makes one want to sell off everything on eBay, live like a monk with a quick-release over the shark-pool & disappear without all this staged, manufactured procedure as if we all want to matter so immensely in some perpetual posterity.
When I think of how cheap human life really is in this world, the wars, bombings, the famine, the disease, endless automotive deaths and firearm slaughter, suicides, overdoses, it seems like we either overly indulge the value of a human personal history, or we undervalue the lives of those we constantly kill in wars, or both.
I cringe for Mr. Bell, he seemed like a private guy. The last thing he could have wanted would be to have his intimate details broadcast & discussed. I would be horrified at this kind of legacy.
Somehow worse than being found rotting in Grey Gardens is the macabre responsibility left for people to clean up after, and then having all the excruciatingly unremarkable details of one's private past so exhaustively analyzed in public this way. Perhaps the names should have been changed.
Almost makes one want to sell off everything on eBay, live like a monk with a quick-release over the shark-pool & disappear without all this staged, manufactured procedure as if we all want to matter so immensely in some perpetual posterity.
When I think of how cheap human life really is in this world, the wars, bombings, the famine, the disease, endless automotive deaths and firearm slaughter, suicides, overdoses, it seems like we either overly indulge the value of a human personal history, or we undervalue the lives of those we constantly kill in wars, or both.
I cringe for Mr. Bell, he seemed like a private guy. The last thing he could have wanted would be to have his intimate details broadcast & discussed. I would be horrified at this kind of legacy.
15
ah, the filth... I had to stop reading it.
Interesting perspective. There is really so little of it, in the grand scheme of things. Maybe a few paragraphs. I suspect without the photos the "filth" would become even more of a minor player. You missed out on a great story about life.
1
What a shame that you didn't finish a beautiful article about the human condition.
George Bell, as all of us, was the result of the choices he made in life.
1
It appears that George was depressed. It's extraordinary difficult to "make choices," as you so judgmentally imply, about even the most basic details of life, when one suffers from depression. Have you no compassion at all?
5
Many people die alone. Some would probably not mind, if they knew. It sounds like George Bell had a good life and maybe would not have minded dying alone. Here's to George.
7
I've read some comments talking about the elderly, and living alone and with their own family and friends having died.
I've always enjoyed having friends of all ages...same age as me...considerably younger... and considerably older...I like to mix it up. We can learn something from all generations.
And it hasn't been lost on me that...I can potentially help my older friends as they encounter various health-related issues. I also realize (and hope!) that maybe my younger friends might also be there for me, when it's my turn.
It's good to pay it forward and backward all around. As this story has shown, we are all alike in this way. Whether living alone or under the guise of being in a relationship with someone (which could end at any moment, for any number of reasons), it's in our interest as a society, and as individuals, to maintain connections with others and be there for each other.
I've always enjoyed having friends of all ages...same age as me...considerably younger... and considerably older...I like to mix it up. We can learn something from all generations.
And it hasn't been lost on me that...I can potentially help my older friends as they encounter various health-related issues. I also realize (and hope!) that maybe my younger friends might also be there for me, when it's my turn.
It's good to pay it forward and backward all around. As this story has shown, we are all alike in this way. Whether living alone or under the guise of being in a relationship with someone (which could end at any moment, for any number of reasons), it's in our interest as a society, and as individuals, to maintain connections with others and be there for each other.
3
Is there a kind of society where this doesn't happen so much? The problem is, the George Bells don't want help and companionship. Or think they don't. Can you force it on them? Can we say what is best for someone else? Maybe, but at what cost to individual liberty? If someone is crazy and wants to live in an apartment full of garbage, he has the right to do so, provided he can pay his monthly expenses. We live in a world where freedom is paramount. But only if you can afford it. Otherwise, it's the subway stations, the doorways, the streets. George was one of the lucky ones, who can afford insanity.
2
A story becoming boring after 15-20 paragraphs &....still not ending. Though it has a compelling human side to satisfy one. That the U.S.System takes utmost care of every soul under their care. That's something heartening, in an otherwise
harsh world. AMEN !!
harsh world. AMEN !!
Beautifully written. It's rare to read these days a sustained piece. Kleinfield and the NY Times are to be commended.
8
It's a bit sad to think that we aren't afforded privacy even in death. I certainly would not care to be memorialized as a lonely forgotten man. Nor would I like my epitaph to be human interest fodder on the front page of the NYTimes. RIP George Bell.
24
And now Big George Bell has some some temporary fame.
Requisat in Pacem.
Requisat in Pacem.
1
So very sad!!
2
The story has touched me at multiple levels. First, the reconstruction and unraveling of George's life. Also,in this world of unavoidable digital footprints, this island of solitude. Thanks for a great Sunday read !!
5
Thanks for this captivating a eye opening article. Truly, this is the fate of so many people. My heart is with George Bell.
3
What a sad story.
Uberto Pasolini (of the "Full Monty" fame) made a great film called "Still Life" revolving around the English equivalents who try to find relatives of folks who've died alone. This article is an awesome piece of journalism - a magnificent mix of dialogue, description and investigation (to the cent). Sad, melancholy reading at times but thanks so much for the story.
6
Both a very sad and very enlightening story.
It is probably the same story that could be told about millions of people in this country. People who live alone on the fringes of society with no relatives and very few close friends that they are in contact with so when they die they are alone.
I am 62 and according to the actuarial tables I have probably lived a little over 75% of my life. The only wish I have in regards to my death is that I die peacefully at home. I have been hospitalized a few times and that is the last place I want to die.
The comedienne Kathy Griffin told the story of her father's death -- he was at home in bed watching a golf tournament when he passed. Sounds good to me.
It is probably the same story that could be told about millions of people in this country. People who live alone on the fringes of society with no relatives and very few close friends that they are in contact with so when they die they are alone.
I am 62 and according to the actuarial tables I have probably lived a little over 75% of my life. The only wish I have in regards to my death is that I die peacefully at home. I have been hospitalized a few times and that is the last place I want to die.
The comedienne Kathy Griffin told the story of her father's death -- he was at home in bed watching a golf tournament when he passed. Sounds good to me.
3
He held a life long love in his heart, and had good friends at times. A privilege to read about his life and know him in a small way. God bless you sir.
6
Six months before my Dad died he told me a story about an incident he witnessed during the Korean war. His unit was moving through mountainous country, and he spotted the body of an American soldier laying alone in a valley. With tears in his eyes he told me how desperately he wanted to retrieve the mans dog tags , but his Sgt told him it was out of the question. My Dad kept that story to himself for a lifetime. But as his own death approached he not only told me the story, he begged me not to let him die alone. Unfortunately fate worked against him, he died while I was out grocery shopping and picking up medication. A brave man that had only one fear, to meet death alone.
23
A wonderful story about a life lived. He was solitary and there is nothing wrong with that, but the lack of what we consider quality of life seems to be the most disturbing thing to most readers (and me). He wasn't poverty stricken, but lived in squalor. Why was that? What could have been done to help him avoid that deterioration? Did he die in shame of his situation unable to reach out to his friends? Many aspects of this article will shape the way I plan my path to its inevitable end.
3
My greatest fear is not living and dying alone. I enjoy my own company, the wildlife in my yard, the changing weather, the sunrises and the sunsets, my books and my newspaper. In fact, the older I've gotten the more self-absorbed and banal my friends and colleagues seem, and it's a trial now to be around them. They talk endlessly about themselves and know nothing about the world. No, I've no fear of dying alone. What I fear most is some well-meaning friend or relative putting me out of my home and sending me to live out my days with strangers, in a strange place, and with nothing of my familiar world around me. Quite frankly, I'd rather be dead.
35
I think it was grossly inappropriate for the Times to publish this man's name and pictures of his apartment, thereby horribly violating his privacy, and equally obscene for the government agencies charged with handling his estate to let his family photographs and pictures of his home be published. Surely all of us, including the journalists and officials involved in this story, have private information and images we would not want mass produced for anyone to see, and whether one is dead or alive certain personal boundaries and privacy right should be respected. This story could have been told much more sensitively and less offensively with pseudonyms for the key players and photos of only those like the cleaners who were willing to be portrayed. Then we, as readers, would not have the creepy feeling of peeping into what one of our fellow travelers never intended others to see. "There but for the grace of God go I," or my loved ones and my only child. While I think stories like this merit telling and this had very affecting parts, I was put off by the insensitive, voyeuristic tone, particularly in the beginning, and would not that kind of treatment applied to any of my loved ones or myself.
29
Chill. It's public information. The story would not be as powerful without these details.
1
You don't need the actual name or personal photos to have power. And there are more important things than making the biggest splash. I think respecting people's rights, dignity and privacy trump what you're advocating for.
3
AMEN. Everything you've said here is exactly what I was thinking/feeling.
1
The thing that stuck me most was the photo showing the disarray in the apartment giving the impression George's mind, life and last days were in disarray -- not a happy peaceful time. That's just plain sad. Most of us hope that our last days will be peaceful. May George rest in peace. He earned it.
1
He did not let hid good friend in to them apartment, my guess because he did not want his friend to,see it in disarray. So as touching as the story might be, I am uncomfortable with the Times publishing that photograph with the actual names.
6
Yes, The Times did something the person this is written about would likely not have wanted at all and hated. How heartwarming and beautiful is that?
4
I like to give thanks to the writers, what a great art to be able to do in detail write up as such, also the level of respect they showed for Mr bell and all others on the course of the event.
as for the story, its time we all stop and pay attention in the only one thing we all have in common, death, and joy of life, poor, rich, dark, light, man , women, young and old we all love to live and sad to die. So maybe this great article can help a few to embrace all we have, our relations.
thanks again
as for the story, its time we all stop and pay attention in the only one thing we all have in common, death, and joy of life, poor, rich, dark, light, man , women, young and old we all love to live and sad to die. So maybe this great article can help a few to embrace all we have, our relations.
thanks again
1
Thank you for this moving account. I really appreciate the diligence with which the various parties endeavored to verify Mr. Bell's identity, to track down his friends and beneficiaries, to discover what they could about who this man was and what was important to him. They did their utmost to respect Mr. Bell's wishes and gave him as caring and dignified a send-off as possible. I was especially touched by the flag draped over his coffin. The author treated Mr. Bell with respect and compassion. Regardless of our best-conceived plans, none of us knows how we will die. I find it of some comfort to know that were I to die alone like Mr. Bell, professionals would track down the members of my tribe and find homes for my cats.
3
Contrast the care George Bell got after his death compared with the latter part of his life. One point about cremation: without knowing the deceased's wishes for certain, the advocate does not cremate, because "you can't undo cremation". Made me think of the death penalty. We can't undo that either, but in some states, we still choose to do it.
5
Kind of unbelieveable that you would degrade this man's life and show his inner most private areas of his life to get a story. Very sad indeed, very sad at the state of "journalism".
12
Yes. And it surprises me so many people do not seem to view how this would make the man or his parents and loved ones feel. Would any parent want this to be the treatment and legacy of their children? Would the journalist want this written about someone he deeply loved?
4
I think you misunderstood. It was a sad article, and seeing the state of his apartment suggested he was managing very poorly for quite some time. But the article was not in any way disrespectful. It honored Mr. Bell's life.
1
I read this as I sat alone in my small, but cozy Chicago apartment. By the end I was reduced to tears. I'm not quite yet 20 years of age, but I find myself pondering life and where mine will go and where it will end. Though this article filled my heart with sorrow, it also made me feel strangely uplifted. We live in a world that feels sometimes lonely, but I am now reminded that none of us are going through life unrecognized and forgotten. Death is a summation of life, and how stunning that its occurrence can bring people to a realization they didn't even know they needed. Thank you, George Bell.
17
I also live in Chicago. It's moving to know there's a thoughtful and reflective young woman somewhere in this city.
4
Think positively. Keep it simple. Maintain connections. Never give up! There is so much in living to enjoy.
1
I think this article is a violation of George Bell's privacy and dignity. Why should he and the life he led and the conditions he lived in be exposed to the sympathy, pity, and inevitably the judgment of strangers, which was done without his permission, when he didn't even depend on them in any way? What may be a condition of sadness to others may have been an object of pride and independence for him. He was not a ward of the state, he lived with independent means.
The article addresses an important subject matter, but it could have been done without revealing his exact identity and splashing his picture.
The article addresses an important subject matter, but it could have been done without revealing his exact identity and splashing his picture.
18
A riveting story, to be sure, that celebrated the ordinary yet captivating life of one man. More interesting to me were the two investigators, Juan Plaza and Ronald Rodriquez, for the Quuens County public administrator. What interesting men they are, and what challenging jobs they have. The NYT would do well to highlight others in and out of government who provide dignity to their fellow citizens.
The problems facing older American living alone are aggravated by our mobile and disconnects society, and lack of social supports for seniors. But perhaps we can identify early warning signs of distress. I was recently hospitalized in a large urban teaching hospital and spoke with a nurse about her job. She said the hardest part was dealing with her patients who were alone and had no visitors or family members by their side. Many of these patients had terminal illnesses and were destined to die alonein the hospital, with a nurse holding their hand.
The problems facing older American living alone are aggravated by our mobile and disconnects society, and lack of social supports for seniors. But perhaps we can identify early warning signs of distress. I was recently hospitalized in a large urban teaching hospital and spoke with a nurse about her job. She said the hardest part was dealing with her patients who were alone and had no visitors or family members by their side. Many of these patients had terminal illnesses and were destined to die alonein the hospital, with a nurse holding their hand.
9
Excellent journalism. A human story all can relate to, as these comments show, in very different ways. Some say he was content living as he did, others that he was a victim of society, others that he didn't make the effort to maintain/form his friendships, others that he was mentally ill...This reminds me of that test used in psychology where one is shown a picture and one has to make a story up about it. We all come at it from different angles depending on our fears, personalities,etc.
I have a fear of ending up like this. All too easy in this culture where seeking and maintaining relationships for a single person can take alot of effort and skill. He must have been numb, medicated, or very tired to allow his living space, and his social connections, to deteriorate like so. I doubt he was happy. I wish he had more close people around him towards the end.
I have a fear of ending up like this. All too easy in this culture where seeking and maintaining relationships for a single person can take alot of effort and skill. He must have been numb, medicated, or very tired to allow his living space, and his social connections, to deteriorate like so. I doubt he was happy. I wish he had more close people around him towards the end.
6
I can't read all the comments, but I wonder if other people noticed this: There is no way that a man who works as a mover in today's America could wind up owning his own apartment and having a few hundred thousand dollars in savings.
12
The cost of cremation described here is absurd!
$1,300-$1,600 is what the current market rate is, IF, the person authorizing the cost is doing his/her homework & acting as a fiduciary for the estate.
Perhaps the Times should further investigate this process... Sounds like a same-as-we've-always-done- it legacy process that should be reviewed/revised!
$1,300-$1,600 is what the current market rate is, IF, the person authorizing the cost is doing his/her homework & acting as a fiduciary for the estate.
Perhaps the Times should further investigate this process... Sounds like a same-as-we've-always-done- it legacy process that should be reviewed/revised!
I teach writing. Kudos N.R. Kleinfeld
2
I feel like this piece was inspired by the daily stories flowing from Humans of New York. These stories connect us and hopefully, make us more compassionate.
2
Who is to say what is the worst way to die? Is it better to have people cry at your bedside, or die in a hospital? As some people have noted, it's possible that some people are comfortable living alone, and will reach out when they want to. That people treated him with dignity after his death makes this article somewhat uplifting. Their stories, too, are noteworthy.
5
I wasn't gopng to read this story -- too nooyawkcentric -- but for extraneous reasons I did, and found it gripping, informative, moving, and well-crafted. Thanks you.
3
One of the most moving, poignant pieces of journalism I've ever read. N.R. Kleinfield writes beautifully, and researches meticulously, with care, compassion, and heart. Thank you for this tribute to a person, a human being.
8
Thanks for making poetry of the cold hard facts--a wonderful piece of writing.
8
It's nice to hear about the public servants helping to wrap everything up.
Sadly Mr Bell's apartment looks a lot like the apartment I had to clean out a few years ago when my grandmother and uncle died within a week of each other and left their shared place suddenly vacant. As much as Mr Bell's apartment was a somewhat closed book to the folks cleaning it out, cleaning my relatives' apartment out got me thinking about what stuff is accumulating in my own place and who's going to want any of it when the time comes.
Sadly Mr Bell's apartment looks a lot like the apartment I had to clean out a few years ago when my grandmother and uncle died within a week of each other and left their shared place suddenly vacant. As much as Mr Bell's apartment was a somewhat closed book to the folks cleaning it out, cleaning my relatives' apartment out got me thinking about what stuff is accumulating in my own place and who's going to want any of it when the time comes.
5
One puzzle for me is that one of the photos seems to depict a pharmaceutical bottle in all of the garbage. Wouldn't old prescription medications immediately point the researchers to Mr. Bell's doctors without the need for all of the cold-calling?
10
Right. It also seems government officials could readily obtain info about his Medicare payments and find his doctors that way, as well as info about his past employment and relatives through his Social Security records.
1
A thorough, comprehensive and heartfelt article. Thanks Mr. Kleinfield.
2
When I read Sonny's article it was early AM and there were 0 comments. It's amazing the response it's gotten. I read, clinically fascinated in the telling of what happened after the discovery of Mr. Bell, and thought that would be that. I did not realize the denouement would enlighten me who George was. I finished the article with tears in my eyes, respecting the man, and would have liked to have been his friend. Truly, the memory of the man will not be forgotten in death. Thanks Sonny.
6
As an homage to the type, the recluse who dies alone, I read every word. Life can be very sad; but, like most, George Bell lived a life too, with friends and some purpose -- there even remain a few to remember him, even if it may be largely because of the money he left.
How many of us really die with a lot more?
How many of us really die with a lot more?
8
A great human interest story that touches on many people - a common experience. It recalls the neorealist movie Umberto T, as well as the Odessa File which started with a similar death followed by a reporter seeking a human interest story.
2
I think it's revolting how this man's private existence, which he obviously wanted kept private, is being dissected and exposed on a level that might have driven him to suicide had it happened while he was still alive. I live alone and I fully expect to die alone. And the last thing I want is a major newspaper putting out a spread like this.
17
"His name was never in the paper. He’s not the finest character that ever lived. But he’s a human being, and a terrible thing is happening to him. So attention must be paid. He’s not to be allowed to fall into his grave like an old dog. Attention, attention must be finally paid to such a person." (Death of a Salesman) Thank you, N. R. Kleinfield for giving George Bell the attention that must be paid, albeit in death.
9
Poor George. All I know about him is in this article, and I would think he wouldn't appreciate ONE BIT his life being publicly dissected, including his financial holdings. Not to mention the photos.
Make sure your life is nice and neat in every single aspect, everyone, because this could be you. A news story by people who totally disregard your privacy.
Make sure your life is nice and neat in every single aspect, everyone, because this could be you. A news story by people who totally disregard your privacy.
26
This is a lovely and important Metro section story. That it was 80% of the above the fold in the print edition speaks to a weakening of editorial standards. The other primary Page One story, the majority of the below the fold, was even worse: another specious celebrity piece. I am saddened to have to watch the finest newspaper in America degrade before my eyes.
3
[[New Yorker Brooklyn
This is a lovely and important Metro section story. That it was 80% of the above the fold in the print edition speaks to a weakening of editorial standards. The other primary Page One story, the majority of the below the fold, was even worse: another specious celebrity piece. I am saddened to have to watch the finest newspaper in America degrade before my eyes.]]
Good Lord! Why are so many people so melodramatic?
And if you're so smart, why aren't you an editor at The New York Times?
This is a lovely and important Metro section story. That it was 80% of the above the fold in the print edition speaks to a weakening of editorial standards. The other primary Page One story, the majority of the below the fold, was even worse: another specious celebrity piece. I am saddened to have to watch the finest newspaper in America degrade before my eyes.]]
Good Lord! Why are so many people so melodramatic?
And if you're so smart, why aren't you an editor at The New York Times?
1
The NYT has given this man, and his belongings, more exposure than many ever get in a lifetime of working for it. I found myself uncomfortable with the photos of this apartment, and skimming across them - it's a boundary violation to be a voyeur; it is, in a very personal way, disrespectful. While his information is now considered "public" and everything is apparently itemized here, I balk at this whole presentation. Yes, it's a story. But anything can be a story. There's much the writer does not know, will never know. No person is the sum total of their estate, their belongings and the professionals who must dismantle their lives after death. No person can be reduced to the label attached to their mental illness. Many of us will find this sad, expecially if you fear being alone. But on the other hand, everyone dies alone. Every one. It's as personal an experience as birth or emotions and your death is guaranteed to only happen to you. We all make choices, and it's easy to feel like Mr. Bell's were somehow inadequate or a mistake, but the bottom line is no one will ever know. And surely there was joy, there was enjoyment ("Have a beer!"), there was affection. Such a life is never a failure, and certainly should not be a public spectacle.
15
Thank you NY Times for telling this story of a largely unnoticed human being who lived and died amongst us. It really was a story about many of us.
6
It's fascinating to read the commentary- the majority of it wrought with pity, sorrow, discomfort, and unease. Perhaps George Bell contendedly died as he lived. Alone. Who are we to judge?
18
@ Chrissyoffleash — And who are •you• to judge the commenters?
Few, if any, of the people who discuss the story of Mr Bell are in a position to deliver an authoritative verdict on his life. But, I suspect that few of those people imagine that they have anything like that authority. That is •not• the point of their comments, as should be obvious.
Most commenters here are surely attempting merely to engage in a dialog on some facets of the great question of what it means to be human. Each of them contributes the element of their perspective to that dialog.
Your own speculations, that Bell was content with his life and fate, are surely legitimate arguments in that dialog. But to the extent that you assert that others should not engage in that dialog at all, you attempt to proclaim a limitation on human attempts to understand both oneself and others, an assertion that is, apparently, utterly unmoored from any rational basis. You are, instead, trying to tell others that they flat-out should not be contemplating another person’s life, or its meaning.
I can discern no reason that anyone should indulge your willful obscurantism.
— Brian
Few, if any, of the people who discuss the story of Mr Bell are in a position to deliver an authoritative verdict on his life. But, I suspect that few of those people imagine that they have anything like that authority. That is •not• the point of their comments, as should be obvious.
Most commenters here are surely attempting merely to engage in a dialog on some facets of the great question of what it means to be human. Each of them contributes the element of their perspective to that dialog.
Your own speculations, that Bell was content with his life and fate, are surely legitimate arguments in that dialog. But to the extent that you assert that others should not engage in that dialog at all, you attempt to proclaim a limitation on human attempts to understand both oneself and others, an assertion that is, apparently, utterly unmoored from any rational basis. You are, instead, trying to tell others that they flat-out should not be contemplating another person’s life, or its meaning.
I can discern no reason that anyone should indulge your willful obscurantism.
— Brian
In Europe, it is common for people to make friends when high school age or earlier and to share a group of friends for life. You can see such groups clustering at movie theaters and cafes in Paris and the sense that this group knows and cares about each other is readily apparent. These groups often go on joint vacations together every year, renting houses in the south for an entire month.
Here, we are more concerned with individuality and competition; most of us deep down want to prove we are better than those around us and the success of others often makes some people push away from friendship. The result is that friendships can be difficult to make and even harder to maintain.
Leaving aside his obsessions, George Bell comes across as a man who probably gave up on life. He settled, and then settled in. Aspiring to little in the outward world, associations based on common interests and activities fade away quickly. From my observations, probably a majority of the people who become eligible for Social Security, and/or a pension, or who get some other means of support, will take it and withdraw from active engagement with life or at least settle for a much lower level of engagement.
I don't want to be overly analytical. I was touched by his story and it brings to mind whole cities of people living in isolation and loneliness without strong family ties or friendships. Living alone is not a tragedy in itself, but living without being connected can turn into one easily.
Here, we are more concerned with individuality and competition; most of us deep down want to prove we are better than those around us and the success of others often makes some people push away from friendship. The result is that friendships can be difficult to make and even harder to maintain.
Leaving aside his obsessions, George Bell comes across as a man who probably gave up on life. He settled, and then settled in. Aspiring to little in the outward world, associations based on common interests and activities fade away quickly. From my observations, probably a majority of the people who become eligible for Social Security, and/or a pension, or who get some other means of support, will take it and withdraw from active engagement with life or at least settle for a much lower level of engagement.
I don't want to be overly analytical. I was touched by his story and it brings to mind whole cities of people living in isolation and loneliness without strong family ties or friendships. Living alone is not a tragedy in itself, but living without being connected can turn into one easily.
5
Thank you for letting people know how we connect in Europe and you are correct ,we have our friends for life . I have now lived in the states for 30 years and I struggle with the way friendship are here. They really are not excitent and people always claim that they are busy . Do I have any friends,not really ,not how I had them in Germany.I am social but also an introvert and those are not welcomed in this American Society. My children are introverts as well but since they are younger they do have friends .So as I get older I thinking of maybe moving back to Europe.
5
To kickerfrau, I think many people in the US are afraid to let new people into their lives, after high school and university years, because of the time commitment involved. I have seen that repeatedly in my own life -- being a married woman without children who has always been excluded from all the mom cliques -- and I am sure I have been guilty of shrugging people off myself. The way to get around that and find new friends is to join a club or activity group of some kind, as it takes the social pressure off, and Americans do like to have an activity to justify taking time to relax. We are strange that way. My husband was feeling friendless a few years ago, so I encouraged him to join a car club. He now has buddies who share his enthusiasms. I have met new people through exercise classes. Meetup(dot)com is a safe way to find people who like the same things you do, even if it's just for taking a walk on Saturday afternoons. I think there are a lot of people out there who want friends but do not know how to find them, or nurture them. Best wishes!
1
This is a really beautiful piece of writing. Thank you Mr. Kleinfield, and the NYT.
5
What an incredibly well written story, quite sensitively written. You gave Mr. Bell a dignified essay about a life that seemed thwarted by various issues he couldn't overcome. Quite moving and I am especially impressed with the quotes of the men who clean out the homes of persons such as Mr. Bell. They display great humanity.
6
This story had to be told. It opens our eyes to what lies ahead. Not in those circumstances maybe but the end we must all face. I think the photos gave us some insight and I don't think Mr. Bell cares about that now. It wasn't important to him. I am so sorry he did not have a dog that would have barked until someone helped. I didn't realize the city goes through all that investigating. I saw pill bottles in the apartment and am surprised his physician wasn't contacted. I didn't see mention of that.
5
This was an absolutely riveting story - the kind one has to read to the end. It's the sort of superb journalism that is regrettably all too rare today. The author strikes an excellent balance between respect and compassion to Mr. Bell and the diligence and professionalism of the City department assigned to deal with such cases. It is compelling reading.
11
I was moved by this story. And I implore NYT readers to please think how much worse things are for people who do not have the income, assets or relatively comfortable living circumstances of George Bell. The author did a great job of writing this story, in all its (perhaps surprising) complexity, and I thank him for it. But among those who die alone, George Bell was probably in the top 1 percent economically. Certainly in the top 10 percent.
3
In New York City people who do not have the income or assets or George Bell are often eligible for Medicaid and have a wealth of services available to them -- actually, they are probably better off than people like George Bell, whose assets would have lasted two or maybe three years if he had to self-pay in an NYC nursing home or self-pay for in-home care.
1
Actually, ellienyc, had George Bell spent down his income and assets, he would have become one of the poor, of whom you are so envious, and been eligible for the "wealth of services" available to Medicaid beneficiaries. It amazes me that more middle class and wealthy people who complain about the munificent services provided the poor do not simply give away their riches, so they, too, can benefit.
7
In researching this story, did the authors consider other cases before focusing on Mr. Bell? Were some of these others total dead ends, were others resolved neatly? I would love to read a reporter's notebook on some of the other cases encountered while preparing this piece.
2
The writer's kindness is what impressed me most about this article. Thank you.
8
I was on his trajectory when I pulled the plug on my cable TV. The Internet helped me find a soul-mate. I travelled, married and have a beautiful four year old daughter. I noticed TV-guide was on Bell's shopping list but he should have been picking up the N.Y. Times.
3
Obviously a goodly amount of research was done to compile, what in my opinion, is a Pulitzer worthy article. This is the current Westernization of the Japanese custom of Ubasute and our seeming abandonment of the elderly to their own devices to waste away in the cave/hovel of their choosing is a disgrace that shows the cold reality of our urban, techno pipe-dream and the ensuring dystopia for what it is. If anyone recalls the end scene of the movie 'Moonstruck' and it's validation of 'family', one can see where I'm coming from. Some people fall through the cracks and a bit of humanity and warmth from left field by a stranger is life affirming to all parties. I made friends with an 70'ish Cree Indian several years ago, a lonely bottle-collector street guy, and often spent time on my stoop with him drinking beer and listening to his great tales of 'the hunt' and stories of his ancestors. All these elderly folks are walking novels and to let them unwind their last in a vacuum breaks my heart.
12
I think this is a Pulitzer-worthy article, too.
7
I express honor to the office of Queens County Public Administrator. You serve with integrity.
15
O. Henry himself could not have captured Mr. Bell's story half as well.
12
A very sad story. But as sad as it was, at least his story was told. Thanks to Mr. Kleinfield for telling the story respectfully. I'm sure there are thousands of similar stories each year in our country and millions around the world who leave us and their story never gets told. There were so many thoughts awakened in me that I could comment on. But I guess the thing that stuck out most to me was the importance of other people in our lives, and the impact we all can have on others, sometimes without even knowing it. A great article. Thanks again to the writer.
7
This is a hell of a long article and I can't see what is the point. The comments don't tell me anything either. It is really too bad but everybody dies. They die in different circumstances but in the end it might not matter much. Or maybe the people who are unhappiest are happiest to die. So what?
Maybe the point is that some people would like to die but are afraid, and the next best thing is to read long boring pointless stories like this. While I am alive I would prefer to enjoy myself.
Maybe the point is that some people would like to die but are afraid, and the next best thing is to read long boring pointless stories like this. While I am alive I would prefer to enjoy myself.
3
Not exactly overflowing with empathy towards your fellow man, are we? It was a long article indeed, but an informative one, as it neatly followed the chain of events initiated by a lonely death.
Mr Bell himself was almost irrelevant to the article, save that he was the Everyman heart of it, as it laid out what happens when these individuals' lives just end, but their story doesn't, with ripples of consequence and action spreading out through a range of official and personal circles, some intimate and personal, others impersonal and official, but all united by the single soul dropped like a pebble at their heart - Mr Bell, in this case, but potentially tomorrow you, or me, or one of 50,000 other people.
If, after reading that 'long and pointless' article you truly think it was a waste of time, then I pity your apparent lack of empathy, and curiosity. There can hardly be one among us who doesn't know of similar people like Mr Bell; those left behind by life, and faltering in their progress. The shy, quiet, detached - and sometimes eccentric, strange or even cold and hostile - individuals with their own faded photos and tattered but treasured possessions, whose lives could be enriched, or maybe even salvaged, with just a little more patience, kindness and persistence from others, so that they're not just That Guy Down The Hall, or whatever.
If you can't see that, then... Lucky you, to not need to consider how others live.
Mr Bell himself was almost irrelevant to the article, save that he was the Everyman heart of it, as it laid out what happens when these individuals' lives just end, but their story doesn't, with ripples of consequence and action spreading out through a range of official and personal circles, some intimate and personal, others impersonal and official, but all united by the single soul dropped like a pebble at their heart - Mr Bell, in this case, but potentially tomorrow you, or me, or one of 50,000 other people.
If, after reading that 'long and pointless' article you truly think it was a waste of time, then I pity your apparent lack of empathy, and curiosity. There can hardly be one among us who doesn't know of similar people like Mr Bell; those left behind by life, and faltering in their progress. The shy, quiet, detached - and sometimes eccentric, strange or even cold and hostile - individuals with their own faded photos and tattered but treasured possessions, whose lives could be enriched, or maybe even salvaged, with just a little more patience, kindness and persistence from others, so that they're not just That Guy Down The Hall, or whatever.
If you can't see that, then... Lucky you, to not need to consider how others live.
9
Good grief, Paul. Why do we do anything? Why learn? Why be curious? Why read?
How did you come to the realizations about your own life that you articulated above? Maybe they sprung fully formed into your brain at birth, but for many people reading things like this article helps to form them.
How did you come to the realizations about your own life that you articulated above? Maybe they sprung fully formed into your brain at birth, but for many people reading things like this article helps to form them.
1
Drive your cart and your plow over the bones of the dead.
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
Prudence is a rich ugly old maid courted by Incapacity.
He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence.
William Blake - Proverbs of Hell
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
Prudence is a rich ugly old maid courted by Incapacity.
He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence.
William Blake - Proverbs of Hell
1
What a fantastic piece of journalism from the Times. This story resonates and has not left my thoughts since I finished reading it. So many unanswered questions, so much we cannot know. I doubt if anyone could read this piece without reflecting upon their own mortality or thinking of distant friends and relatives. I know I have and still am.
9
Mr. K., you are an excellent writer. I could not stop reading. Thank you.
8
A very timely read for me. Last night I had a dream in which I was looking for my family reunion; first in a church then a multi room building of some sort, then my grandmother was with me and then she disappeared, then a woman whom I thought was an aunt embraced me and I momentarily felt moved and no longer alone but then she turned out to be someone I didn't know (although she thought I had sent her tape fill of wonderful comments about colors), and then we were both in a desolate area out of doors that was like a destroyed inner city with vacant lots except for a sign that said "keep out of here you gorillas." She went to hide and I said, "No! Let's get out of here." The End. The story of Mr Bell is resonating strongly with me Thank you for writing it.
4
My brother Conrad, George Bell.
2
I recently lost the last of my father's brothers who lived in the home my immigrant grandparents bought in the early 50s. When I'm done cleaning out that house, I am coming home to my apartment in NYC, where I live alone, and which is big enough to allow me to keep everything that I'm too weak to toss, and cleaning it out too. My goal is to have a living space so void of ridiculous ephemera that it will not be a burden to anyone when I'm gone.
7
That was a great article; a touching insight into a life unknown on the other side of the planet but, as with the simplest and best of stories, showing how we're All connected in the purest of ways, with shared experiences of loss, loneliness and love.
So it is that I can feel sadness for Mr Bell, and empathy for how his life seemed, based on what was written here, to lose its colour and buoyancy, yet even so to have cast ripples out once it ended, with each little wave rebounding off sympathetic souls. It's of no use to him, of course, but I'm glad that, despite a certain pragmatic detachment, those clearing up his affairs and neatly, professionally closing off his life also seemed to have done so with respect for this unknown man, now known to thousands of people around the world.
I won't say I cried - that would be too facile, and this isn't My story, it's His - but it was hard not to see echoes of Mr Bell's life in my own, though I'm some decades younger than he was, and not yet so... detached from life. As my life has gradually folded ever inwards upon itself, falling ever more silent until, frankly, just one car would hold all my friends - in this context, knowing only too well that, perhaps like Mr Bell, I'd probably also be regarded as an unknown loner, despite all of my own personal triumphs and tragedies, it's impossible to read His story, and not see myself - ourselves - in his details.
I hope Mr Bell rests in peace, and that this story helps people, somehow...
So it is that I can feel sadness for Mr Bell, and empathy for how his life seemed, based on what was written here, to lose its colour and buoyancy, yet even so to have cast ripples out once it ended, with each little wave rebounding off sympathetic souls. It's of no use to him, of course, but I'm glad that, despite a certain pragmatic detachment, those clearing up his affairs and neatly, professionally closing off his life also seemed to have done so with respect for this unknown man, now known to thousands of people around the world.
I won't say I cried - that would be too facile, and this isn't My story, it's His - but it was hard not to see echoes of Mr Bell's life in my own, though I'm some decades younger than he was, and not yet so... detached from life. As my life has gradually folded ever inwards upon itself, falling ever more silent until, frankly, just one car would hold all my friends - in this context, knowing only too well that, perhaps like Mr Bell, I'd probably also be regarded as an unknown loner, despite all of my own personal triumphs and tragedies, it's impossible to read His story, and not see myself - ourselves - in his details.
I hope Mr Bell rests in peace, and that this story helps people, somehow...
18
Thank you, kind soul in Ireland, for your caring and insightful comments. You write beautifully and expressed exactly what I was feeling.
1
As crazy as it sounds, this is one of the ways I would like to go. On my own and not discovered until way beyond recognition, skeletal. Ideally from natural causes but yea. That or by elements by it sailing out into the ocean and getting lost, or camping and getting lost. The idea of hospice, death bed and love ones surrounding me is just not that appealing. Too cookie cutter, too planned.
4
Sorry for the misspelling of "longly" which was supposed to be"lonely." Other readers have questioned whether we could really know whether Mr. Bell was lonely. Probably true. But isolated or disconnected, certainly. Maybe also, pure speculation, lost somewhere, looking for a thread he couldn't grasp. The point is we don't really know that much about Mr. Bell but yet so many people feel his demise as revealed so meticulously by Mr. Kleinfield speaks to them .... and in so many different ways. Many have said the story was "haunting." I would think because of the ambivalence it provoked.
4
What a generous man he was to his friends and beloved, ex-fiancée. How strange life can be, his would-be mother-in-law worried about him being a mooch on her family, while in the end, it was he who provided for Ms. Flemm's heirs when she died alone in a trailer, in debt. RIP Mr. Bell!
19
You're absolutely right about the irony of his would-be MIL, and how he ended up accommodating them. Just goes to show ya...life is very unpredictable...people aren't always what they seem...and one thing I've learned as I get older...it's not worth holding grudges or hurts esp when it comes to failed romances...people all have their own reasons for relationships not working out...people shouldn't take things so personally...just because you no longer have a personal relationship with someone doesn't mean they feel or think badly about you, or that they've forgotten about you. The total opposite could be true. Always assume the best of people...
2
This story has moved me to think about several things: loneliness; what a likable man Mr. Gold was; that at some turn his trajectory became dominated by mental illness(es); about the vast, intricate and humane reaches of our communities that work after a death to restore order.
Particularly moving for me is Mr. Juan Plaza's work and philosophy. "[Mr. Plaza] is 52, ...divorced, and without children, but he keeps expanding his base of friends. Every day, he sends them motivational Instagram messages: “With each sunrise, may we value every minute”; “Be kind, smile to the world and it will smile back”; “Share your life with loved ones”; “Love, forgive, forget.”
[Mr. Plaza] said: “When I die, someone will find out the same day or the next day. Since I’ve worked here, my list of friends has gotten longer and longer. I don’t want to die alone.”
So, thank you especially to Mr. Plaza, Mr. Rodriguez, and to the reporter for bringing me such a compelling reason to stop being lazy about maintaining my friendships!
Particularly moving for me is Mr. Juan Plaza's work and philosophy. "[Mr. Plaza] is 52, ...divorced, and without children, but he keeps expanding his base of friends. Every day, he sends them motivational Instagram messages: “With each sunrise, may we value every minute”; “Be kind, smile to the world and it will smile back”; “Share your life with loved ones”; “Love, forgive, forget.”
[Mr. Plaza] said: “When I die, someone will find out the same day or the next day. Since I’ve worked here, my list of friends has gotten longer and longer. I don’t want to die alone.”
So, thank you especially to Mr. Plaza, Mr. Rodriguez, and to the reporter for bringing me such a compelling reason to stop being lazy about maintaining my friendships!
4
"Death, though, isn’t social. It’s business. No need to have known someone to get his money."
a very depressing story indeed ...
to NYT: why to circulate such sad stories on a quiet Fall weekend?
a very depressing story indeed ...
to NYT: why to circulate such sad stories on a quiet Fall weekend?
Reminds me of an old epitaph I read somewhere.
Poorly lived.
Poorly died.
Poorly buried.
And no one cried.
Poorly lived.
Poorly died.
Poorly buried.
And no one cried.
4
Your Story is very touching!I consider to change my Lifestyle,because i am Living my life very lonely.Thank You.
14
Reach out to all as you did. Thank you
Thanks to those public servants, undertakers and other workers who made such an effort to find a resting place and resolution for George Bell. I was very touched by this.
It is sad that Bell did not remain in touch with those he cared about--I suppose he had his reasons. Sometimes we need a reminder to reach out to those we haven't seen for awhile but care for deeply, and this piece served to remind me to make some calls.
It is sad that Bell did not remain in touch with those he cared about--I suppose he had his reasons. Sometimes we need a reminder to reach out to those we haven't seen for awhile but care for deeply, and this piece served to remind me to make some calls.
4
This wonderfully told story (heartbreaking in a way) suggests an opportunity exists for a new service on the internet. These young entrepreneurs would, for a fixed fee, take down your basic information (for those of us who choose not to live on social network pages) and agree to check in electronically every other day. If no response is received they would call your designated rep. or friend or executor, and follow up.
Increasingly, many Americans will not have a live-in partner or spouse. Even the once happily married outlive a spouse or divorce, and children and grandchildren can be estranged particularly in divorce situations. This story of a man with mental issues (hoarding) should not be read as implying all people who choose solitude are ill. Didn't monastics in centuries past choose solitude?
Increasingly, many Americans will not have a live-in partner or spouse. Even the once happily married outlive a spouse or divorce, and children and grandchildren can be estranged particularly in divorce situations. This story of a man with mental issues (hoarding) should not be read as implying all people who choose solitude are ill. Didn't monastics in centuries past choose solitude?
2
What is overwhelming, besides the death of Mr. Bell, is the massive reader response and comments. I think loneliness is a subject that touches all of us but is so rarely discussed publicly and even amongst friends. It's universal, and does not signify being alone, but feeling disconnected from others.
14
This reminds me of the old TV series, "Naked City." No such thing as an "ordinary life."
4
"There are no ordinary people..." C.S. Lewis
8
I noticed that NYT updated caption of photo of hearse with flag on coffin, correcting last word to "crematorium" rather than "morgue." Good job. That was an obvious mistake as it conflicted with text.
2
The biggest lesson for me in this story is related to the mess and clutter. I recently retired from 20 years as a director of an assisted living community. I can't tell you how many adult guardians were burdened and angry after being saddled with the task of dismantling their parent, aunt or uncle's home when they could no longer live alone safely. "Why didn't you prepare for this?" "Did you really think that piles of newspapers and your elementary school supplies would mean something to me?" are a few thoughts I've heard expressed. There's a great environmental cost to buying and hoarding so much stuff in one's life. I'm guessing that most of us don't need 75% of what we buy and collect in the first place, though for a brief moment the object makes us feel more substantial. Some people think that feng shui is a flakey joke. I know this sounds insensitive, but, at least following its principles is a thoughtful way to live - and die - in our world.
10
I posted yesterday, hastily, after a first read. And this article deserves more than one read, that's for certain.
On the other side of the obvious -- Mr. Bell's illness(es) / conditions that might have contributed to his hermetic lifestyle and unraveling lifestye -- poor diet, apartment upkeep, etc. -- this piece was a really fascinating look at the process of handling an estate. Mr. Bell having a will certainly was helpful. That was an essential aspect of this having any type of 'happy' ending. Having no family -- we should all operate like that, because you can start out with a bunch of folks, and could be the last one standing ... so the lesson here, on the legal / administrative side, if you have any assets, have at least a basic will, and if you have the mental capacity, review periodically and update if needed.
We just finished as executors for estate of a family member, who wouldn't allow a trust, or others to be named on accounts, so it had to go through probate. Fortunately, the will was clear as could be, all family, and all in harmony, and it was as simple a probate process as one could hope for these days. Still, it took 7+ months. An estate process, by any route, is very personal and there are no secrets by time it's over. So, the last that I took away from that, and this article, is -- destroy anything you don't want family or strangers poring over after you're gone, esp. things that won't advance the process, and might hurt people.
On the other side of the obvious -- Mr. Bell's illness(es) / conditions that might have contributed to his hermetic lifestyle and unraveling lifestye -- poor diet, apartment upkeep, etc. -- this piece was a really fascinating look at the process of handling an estate. Mr. Bell having a will certainly was helpful. That was an essential aspect of this having any type of 'happy' ending. Having no family -- we should all operate like that, because you can start out with a bunch of folks, and could be the last one standing ... so the lesson here, on the legal / administrative side, if you have any assets, have at least a basic will, and if you have the mental capacity, review periodically and update if needed.
We just finished as executors for estate of a family member, who wouldn't allow a trust, or others to be named on accounts, so it had to go through probate. Fortunately, the will was clear as could be, all family, and all in harmony, and it was as simple a probate process as one could hope for these days. Still, it took 7+ months. An estate process, by any route, is very personal and there are no secrets by time it's over. So, the last that I took away from that, and this article, is -- destroy anything you don't want family or strangers poring over after you're gone, esp. things that won't advance the process, and might hurt people.
4
Yah I watched a few hoarders episodes and next weekend hired a truck to pick up all the junk I had piled into the driveway. After reading this article I just cleaned my stove.
4
"The beats of her heart grew fainter and fainter, and vaguer, like a fountain giving out, like an echo dying away;—and when she exhaled her last breath, she thought she saw in the half-opened heavens a gigantic parrot hovering above her head".
"A Simple Heart" by Gustave Flaubert
"A Simple Heart" by Gustave Flaubert
4
I read this story, I emailed the author, I prayed for George Bell, and I learned a lot.
I learned that living takes a lot of effort, and when we fall into depression that effort becomes insurmountable. The pictures attest to that. It is a collection of the days he no longer cared about himself, didn't have the energy to care, and was unable to get any help. Such deppression is a slow death of refusing to take care of himself.
We are called to love one another, especially those avoiding love.
I learned that living takes a lot of effort, and when we fall into depression that effort becomes insurmountable. The pictures attest to that. It is a collection of the days he no longer cared about himself, didn't have the energy to care, and was unable to get any help. Such deppression is a slow death of refusing to take care of himself.
We are called to love one another, especially those avoiding love.
16
Well I guess the days are gone when people could come to New York City, or maybe just stay in New York City, because they craved the anonymity it offered. Along with the suburbanization of the City have come come the prying eyes, judgments, "heartfelt" thoughts and prayers, and other nonsense that were the reason for many people leaving small towns and suburbs in the first place, at least if one can believe some of the comments posted here.
3
Well that's certainly some old time NYT writing about our City. Maybe bit too many photos, and repeating in captions what's in text. Hope policy is to do more such insightful, deep articles.
5
Wonderfully written. Kudos to the author for such a moving piece.
5
Thank you Mr. Kleinfield. The article is beautifully written with a heart, well investigated and documented. Real journalism. Im happy George Bells money went to some people who really needed it and in the end he will not be forgotten.
4
Did this piece appear in the street issue also? I am struck by how much time it took me to read Kleinfield's rich and comprehensive report over against my attention to the living stories around me. A source of reflection indeed.
1
This article makes me terribly sad. I had a great aunt who died alone in New York. She lived in a single room in an old hotel. The family had her body taken to PA where she was buried near her sister. Only 5 or 6 family members attended. We hadn't seen her for many years. Another family member also died alone in New York. She tried to maintain contact with us but we were all too far away. She's buried somewhere in New York. We think her brothers may have taken care of her. We just don't know.
Family members move apart, raise their own families and are consumed with their own lives and their own children. We lose touch. We forget.
I live in Florida. I'm 68 and retired. My wife and I don't see our children or grandchildren. The kids are too busy. We ask them to visit but they decline.
Someday we're going to die too. Frankly, I don't think anyone will come to our funerals. Certainly not to the last survivor's funeral. But, we have friends. If my brothers and sisters out live us I think that 2 will show up. Maybe.
Maybe being alone at the end is ok. In the meantime my wife and I are cruising the world and not begging for invitations or for visitors either. We'll be ok. I hope.
Worst case we'll wind up in the cemetery with our parents and grandparents. We won't be so alone after all.
Family members move apart, raise their own families and are consumed with their own lives and their own children. We lose touch. We forget.
I live in Florida. I'm 68 and retired. My wife and I don't see our children or grandchildren. The kids are too busy. We ask them to visit but they decline.
Someday we're going to die too. Frankly, I don't think anyone will come to our funerals. Certainly not to the last survivor's funeral. But, we have friends. If my brothers and sisters out live us I think that 2 will show up. Maybe.
Maybe being alone at the end is ok. In the meantime my wife and I are cruising the world and not begging for invitations or for visitors either. We'll be ok. I hope.
Worst case we'll wind up in the cemetery with our parents and grandparents. We won't be so alone after all.
20
It is outrageous that Mr. Bell's privacy is violated in such a manner with this article. Why are we privy to how he kept his kitchen, his bathroom, or where he slept? Why can we see his family pictures and learn the names of those few people who were his friends? Why are we even given his name, George Bell, when he chose to lead such a private life. This writer simply has no right to make such very private details public. What's more, it bothers me that he is chancing on Mr. Bell's life as an opportunity to write a story. Even the detectives had their pictures taken and photoshopped. I was hoping better from the NYTimes.
7
Well, you certainly brought the man out of lonely death.
3
For those who are 'put out' about the invasion of the late Mr. Bell's privacy, I think it best to step back and take a fresh look at the events that followed the discovery of his body. The author of this article has done the public a service in detailing what happens when individuals die without immediately identifiable next-of-kin. He's provided his readers with the unvarnished, unsentimental truth, which is his job. Showing the less-than-pretty photos of a hoarder's apartment is fine, in my opinion, if it helps someone else down the line recognize similar conditions and symptoms in a family member or friend and take action on their behalf. The photos aren't meant to be sensational. Instead, they're informative and should be taken as such in the context of the extended process of settling Mr. Bell's estate. For some people, this article will serve as a wake-up call or a cautionary tale: Plan now, if you can, or this is how things will go with regard to your personal possessions, your accounts, your mortal remains and so forth, as the legal system deals with your unfinished business. Put your safeguards in place while you're still of sound mind and body and everyone will be much better served in the event of your passing. It's a shame that Mr. Bell did not, or could not do this for himself.
10
Exactly. Putting your affairs in order, updating your will on a regular basis, gifting, using trusts where appropriate and this would have all been private. When government agencies have to get involved the records generally are public. Every NY taxpayer should be able to know how tax revenues are being spent. I did not find this piece disrespectful of Mr. Bell.
2
I applaud The New York Times for having the commitment to journalism and the city of New York to give a reporter the time and backing to do a story like this. So many newsrooms have been gutted by the changing business model. So many journalists have been laid off. So many editors have been forced to make decisions about what they have the resources to cover.
And yet to allow one reporter the time to do a story like this, that is what make the publication stand out and why it will endure.
And yet to allow one reporter the time to do a story like this, that is what make the publication stand out and why it will endure.
9
A beautiful story which thugs at the heart. People living in social Isolation and dying a lonely deaths. Gone are days of communal living. Our society is highly mobile and individualistic. All the social networks, text messages, facebook and everything else will never replace the human touch.
8
A poignant story and a fantastic piece of writing.
5
I suppose there is a certain voyeurism that draws one into Mr. Kleinfield's precise yet haunting unlayering of the life and death of George Bell. For reasons I can't explain other than some deeper bond the story forges between the reader and the longly man, I couldn't put the article down, even taking it with me (ironically) to the local hazardous waste drop-off as I followed the tale on my cellphone as it curved to its inevitable conclusion. Mostly, I was struck by Mr. Kleinfield's talent and his capacity to turn almost banal non-fiction into a journey into the human existence. We're all going where Mr. Bell went, hopefully not with a traffic ticket on the car we couldn't move.
10
I would have like to have known whether the author had any interaction with the building's board. Surely some intervention could have been done at a much earlier point in time.
2
Nearly 8100 words, none of them wasted, about a life that, in the end, was.
Excellent research, Mr. Kleinfield. Thank you for a well done tribute to a man nobody knew.
Excellent research, Mr. Kleinfield. Thank you for a well done tribute to a man nobody knew.
6
Thank you, N.R. Kleinfield, for a moving and important essay on dying alone. You brought George Bell to life with meticulous details, and a compassionate point of view.
9
And now I'm crying over the lonely death of this man. Thank you for sharing George Bell's story with such compassion and respect.
4
Funeral Advice: If you are having your "loved one" cremated, it is a sheer waste of money to have it handled by a funeral director. When my wife passed away two years ago and was to be cremated, I contacted a "DIRECT CREMATION" facility. They handled all aspects of the procedure including the paperwork exactly as a funeral director would, but charged $685 for the service rendered instead of the $5000-6000 that a funeral home would. Simply search direct cremation in your zip code.
17
Very touching lovely article and yes, I had wondered what happens when people like George Bell die. Thanks to the author for creating and NYT for sharing.
2
This story reminded me of an article I recently read about the trend in Japan: old men dying alone, sometimes not found for months and years.
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/roads/2015/06/kodokushi_...
I believe this is a societal problem. In the U.S. it is based on our ideology of individualism. In Japan its a different matter. Cities like NYC are set up for this sort of heartless reclusive lifestyle. Mr. Bell accepted it. I left NYC for many reasons, one of them being this very fear. NYC is no place for old people, and if that's the case, is it a place for a vibrant life in one's prime?
I agree with some commenters that this story was a severe invasion of Mr. Bell's privacy, but as he left money to strangers who benefited, so we could benefit from the light this story has shed on how NYC functions, and how it could function better.
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/roads/2015/06/kodokushi_...
I believe this is a societal problem. In the U.S. it is based on our ideology of individualism. In Japan its a different matter. Cities like NYC are set up for this sort of heartless reclusive lifestyle. Mr. Bell accepted it. I left NYC for many reasons, one of them being this very fear. NYC is no place for old people, and if that's the case, is it a place for a vibrant life in one's prime?
I agree with some commenters that this story was a severe invasion of Mr. Bell's privacy, but as he left money to strangers who benefited, so we could benefit from the light this story has shed on how NYC functions, and how it could function better.
10
I am likely to die alone. As i am aware of this, I am thinking about planning when to die and how to spend my savings before that (on m myself and in my will). Realizing that people who don't care for me much will inherit, made me less frugal. I wish all people living alone could plan the time of death, who needs to 'wait for death'
On another level, it is a sad testimony to american style of life that neighbors, relatives and friends were so involved in G. Bell's life, especially now, in the age of internet and cellphones.. In many other counties, a lonely death like this would be a much more rare occurence
On another level, it is a sad testimony to american style of life that neighbors, relatives and friends were so involved in G. Bell's life, especially now, in the age of internet and cellphones.. In many other counties, a lonely death like this would be a much more rare occurence
6
Awesome writing. Among the top features I have ever read in the Times.
6
An incredible piece of writing--well-researched and movingly written. I continue to be haunted by the story and George Bell's life that ended so in such sad circumstances. This story will cause most of us to examine our lives and maybe spur us to clean a portion of the unused accumulation of possessions we all have acquired through the years. Many more will die in circumstances similar to George Bell's, but Mr. Kleinfeld has now immortalized the life of George Bell. I bet Mr. Bell would be amazed at the outpouring of grief that his story has generated.
6
Thanks for sharing the life and death of a humble and friendly George Bell, neglected by the world. In other cities similar stories are frequent. For example in Amsterdam someone's body was recently found in his appartment after being dead for a year.
3
There are a lot of comments here about the solitary life of George Bell. But the way I read this article, it is really about his death. And what strikes me most is what is in these two paragraphs:
"When someone dies destitute and forsaken, and one of various free burial organizations does not learn of the case, the body ends up joining others in communal oblivion at the potter’s field on Hart Island in the Bronx, the graveyard of last resort.
"If there are funds, the public administrator honors the wishes of the will or of relatives. When no one speaks for the deceased, the office is partial to two fairly dismal, cut-rate cemeteries in New Jersey. It prefers the total expense to come in under $5,000, not always easy in a city where funeral and burial costs can be multiples of that."
I take it from this that a pauper's death moves quickly through the bureaucracy, while Mr. Bell's was painfully protracted. I doubt Mr. Bell would care much one way or the other. New York's handling of his death seems far too complicated. Pyramids for the pharaohs. Catacombs for the Christians. Washing of the body among Muslims. In my opinion, those who want their deaths to go a certain way should make prior arrangements. If family or friends fill the vacuum, fine. But with tens of millions of deaths each year, the effort and money put into Mr. Bell's would have been better spent on the living.
"When someone dies destitute and forsaken, and one of various free burial organizations does not learn of the case, the body ends up joining others in communal oblivion at the potter’s field on Hart Island in the Bronx, the graveyard of last resort.
"If there are funds, the public administrator honors the wishes of the will or of relatives. When no one speaks for the deceased, the office is partial to two fairly dismal, cut-rate cemeteries in New Jersey. It prefers the total expense to come in under $5,000, not always easy in a city where funeral and burial costs can be multiples of that."
I take it from this that a pauper's death moves quickly through the bureaucracy, while Mr. Bell's was painfully protracted. I doubt Mr. Bell would care much one way or the other. New York's handling of his death seems far too complicated. Pyramids for the pharaohs. Catacombs for the Christians. Washing of the body among Muslims. In my opinion, those who want their deaths to go a certain way should make prior arrangements. If family or friends fill the vacuum, fine. But with tens of millions of deaths each year, the effort and money put into Mr. Bell's would have been better spent on the living.
3
Sad story. Very sad. As an only child and parents who are in their 60's now. I may very well end up like that. I have cousins. But, we're only so close.
God be with his soul
God be with his soul
7
What a powerful story, brilliantly written. I read this story yesterday and it has been on my mind ever since. George Bell has gotten a good send off after all.
6
N.R. Kleinfield, this was brilliantly written; my kudos to you, and to your editors at the Times.
Although I'm sitting alone in my apartment, I'm connected to perhaps millions of people around the world, through my membership in various on-line communities, including the comments page of The New York Times. Walking around my neighborhood, I realize this area is a small village, where one can meet neighbors on the street. So although I am alone, I'm not lonely.
And, through the death of a friend, to whom I sent a Christmas card that was opened by the public administrator's office, I know that the city does quite a good, if slow, job of finding relatives and friends of the deceased.
Although I'm sitting alone in my apartment, I'm connected to perhaps millions of people around the world, through my membership in various on-line communities, including the comments page of The New York Times. Walking around my neighborhood, I realize this area is a small village, where one can meet neighbors on the street. So although I am alone, I'm not lonely.
And, through the death of a friend, to whom I sent a Christmas card that was opened by the public administrator's office, I know that the city does quite a good, if slow, job of finding relatives and friends of the deceased.
4
We all have a George Bell in our lives. My wife and I did. He spent his last years suffering, and ultimately, took his life.
This holiday season, please spend some time with a friend or a neighbor you know who could use a little company. It's a self rewarding process too! ♡♡♡
This holiday season, please spend some time with a friend or a neighbor you know who could use a little company. It's a self rewarding process too! ♡♡♡
5
The Medical Examiner had to call doctors' offices to ask for records on George Bell. But over the phone, there was no way for the doctors or their employees to confirm whether it really was the Medical Examiner calling and whether George Bell was really deceased. Therefore, anyone who answered was violating HIPPA. Perhaps the Federal Attorney General should investigate all the doctors' offices called.
HIPPA is full of exceptions for cases like this. The law does not apply to the government.
In any case, saying you have never had a guy named George Bell in your office is not confidential medical information. Only saying that you did would be. They would then send the info to the official office, as provided for in HPPA.
In any case, saying you have never had a guy named George Bell in your office is not confidential medical information. Only saying that you did would be. They would then send the info to the official office, as provided for in HPPA.
HIPPA has become a stupid joke in the field of medicine. It is inappropriately applied and if never violated, nothing would get done. HIPPA needs to be revisited for more appropriate application of what is was meant for.
Thank you, Mr. Kleinfield. What a wonderful piece of reporting and writing.
I saw this story yesterday before anyone commented. The strange part was I had just come back from visiting the graves of my mother, my father and my wife. I make that trip 4 to 6 times a year.
I do not know if I want to die alone or not. I will be moving to 160 acres in North Central Pennsylvania and am considering just walking off into the woods and returning to Mother Earth when the time comes.
I know I do not want to die the way that Mr. Bell did.
The story has given me a lot to think about.
I do not know if I want to die alone or not. I will be moving to 160 acres in North Central Pennsylvania and am considering just walking off into the woods and returning to Mother Earth when the time comes.
I know I do not want to die the way that Mr. Bell did.
The story has given me a lot to think about.
92
I wonder if these guys ever have to break into a spotless apartment where every possession is neatly arranged on shelves, and inventoried on the computer.
2
An in-law committed suicide after years of alcoholism, drug addiction and the realization that a family member had become conservator of their elderly, demented mother -- therefore cutting off funds the in-law had been stealing for years.
When the sheriff broke into the apartment, it was neat as a pin. It does happen. Sad, sad ending to what had been a very promising beginning 40 years prior...thank goodness, no children involved.
When the sheriff broke into the apartment, it was neat as a pin. It does happen. Sad, sad ending to what had been a very promising beginning 40 years prior...thank goodness, no children involved.
1
"...protocol dictated that a notice be published in a newspaper for four weeks, a gesture intended to alert unlocated relatives. With sizable estates, the court chooses The New York Law Journal..."
"Among thousands of such ads that Mr. Sweeney has placed, he is still awaiting his first response."
It's not hard to see why no one has responded to his ads. Who would think to look in the The New York Law Journal, or even know it exists?
"Among thousands of such ads that Mr. Sweeney has placed, he is still awaiting his first response."
It's not hard to see why no one has responded to his ads. Who would think to look in the The New York Law Journal, or even know it exists?
7
Here is an article worthy of journalism at the top of its game. Personally speaking, here is Pulitzer writing that holds a reader's attention moving us & mountains to see & take action. If you will, here is the Times redeeming itself. From what? I won't go there except to say I cancelled my subscription this past August out of malaise with the paper. At the time I also had a physical accident which intensified weariness with the paper's menu. "I won't allow myself to be addicted to this medium of the latest anymore. For all its world-wide influence, The New York Times is not The Kingdom. Notwithstanding, I recently re-subscribed which opens the door to this comment--if the editor permits.
15
So many poignant comments! NYTimes: If someone does decide to hold services for Mr. Bell, can you please inform us, his myriad of new post-humous friends? As I heard church bells this morning, I imagined to myself that they tolled for George, and all the George Bells I never knew.
7
Thank you.
4
What a wonderful article. Very well written and moving. Thank you for your work.
6
I found this article to be incredibly fascinating, especially all the work that went into knowing a seemingly unknown man. Very well written. It's amazing a man could live and die as he did, and yet have all that money and assets. How very sad.
6
a well-written and thoughtful piece. thank-you. this is a great companion piece to the 2003 documentary called, 'A Certain Kind of Death' about those in los angeles county that die with no next of kin. like N.R. Kleinfield's article it is a powerful, moving document to the fact that every person has a history and a story whether or not they are able, willing or even interested in sharing it.
4
An outstanding piece of work here on so many levels.
I appreciate the dignity you gave this 'nameless, faceless' individual who passed on unknown to others. The accompanying photos are perfectly chosen for this story.
I also appreciated all the insight into what goes on behind the scenes...all the various city/state workers and the detailed work that is often required, particularly in cases such as this.
Indeed, life and death are so utterly random and it's important to remember that fact every day we are alive.
I appreciate the dignity you gave this 'nameless, faceless' individual who passed on unknown to others. The accompanying photos are perfectly chosen for this story.
I also appreciated all the insight into what goes on behind the scenes...all the various city/state workers and the detailed work that is often required, particularly in cases such as this.
Indeed, life and death are so utterly random and it's important to remember that fact every day we are alive.
5
Thank you for that. Compassionate and dignified, and I learned some things.
3
Every time I read a story like this, I get up and clean out my closets and cabinets. I want people to be able to wrap up my place in a day (or less)
.
.
13
I couldn't stop reading this article, and from the number of comments, I wasn't alone with my fascination for this man's story. It struck me in the same way I was struck by the Beatles' Elanor Rigby, which I first heard in 1966 as a college English Major. "Elanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name. Nobody came. . . " Mr. Bell was not a bad person, lonely and a bit strange, but thoughtful and seemingly well liked. One could do worse.
4
The most depressing part of this article for me, as a college graduate born in 1986, is that these working class men born during the era of peak America lived lives of unimaginable luxury compared to mine. A simple moving man retired at 54, not bad! He was making more money at the time of his death than I am, a 29 year old American man approaching his peak earning age.
13
If you had to make a living moving furniture, you might not be able to work past the age of 54.
2
It's probably impossible to do in a mega-metropolis, but in my small community, the police, if requested, will periodically phone oldsters to see if they are OK. Unfortunately, this service may not be practical in less prosperous communities, where it probably most needed.
5
They are called welfare checks and the police go right to the door. In fact, I think if they have a reason to believe someone is endangered -- like the person's family called them, saying that the person hasn't returned calls for days -- the police can enter the home if no one answers the door.
I am not in agreement with many commenters here. Of course the story is touching, but I feel it's unfair to provide a cathartic release on readers at the expense of exposing the very intimate details of a clearly private person. It only seems voyeuristic.
In the end, do we want writers to scour our private lives to "tell a story"? I am curious how permissions were gained but given Mr. Bell's isolated life, those permissions could only come from an array of people not very close to him or through the coldest bureaucratic channels.
In the end, do we want writers to scour our private lives to "tell a story"? I am curious how permissions were gained but given Mr. Bell's isolated life, those permissions could only come from an array of people not very close to him or through the coldest bureaucratic channels.
10
I was initially interested in this story. I used to watch "Hoarders" all the time. But somewhere about halfway through reading this, something changed. There were just too many personal details for my comfort. The fact that he's not here to witness it fails to negate the fact that his personal privacy was completely violated by this story. How many readers here would appreciate their own lives being laid open for public viewing in this manner?
7
One of the best pieces of investigative journalism on the front of the New York Times in a long time.....our society needs and wants more of the same.......congratulations !
5
Very sad story which can be repeated so many time in major cities. I wonder about the building management. When service people entered Mr. Bell's apartment to remove the leaking refrigerator they surely noticed something was very wrong.
The trend is towards many more people living alone and that's really not a bad thing. Living alone with connections to the outside world is quite different from living in almost complete isolation.
We have a volunteer program in our city that is coordinated by the police department. The volunteers call people on their list who live alone and who are quite fragile and isolated. Anyone in that condition can have themselves put on the list.
The trend is towards many more people living alone and that's really not a bad thing. Living alone with connections to the outside world is quite different from living in almost complete isolation.
We have a volunteer program in our city that is coordinated by the police department. The volunteers call people on their list who live alone and who are quite fragile and isolated. Anyone in that condition can have themselves put on the list.
5
This story touched me, as I read it I thought about my paternal grandfather,John Nyznyk, who I was told, died alone and was buried in a communal grave. He was estranged from my father, never having any contact with him. In fact, when he petitioned for U.S. Citizenship, he didn't acknowledge that he had a son, who was also living in New York City, a few blocks away. What I know about him, I have found from genealogy. The last information I found was in the 1940 Census. He was living alone on East 4 th St. In Manhattan, unemployed for over a year, with an income that barely covered his rent. Through my search, I found that he had two other children, from his first marriage. His daughter came to New York in 1931, as a permanent resident. She also disappeared. I can't imagine what his life was like, and George Bell's story could be my grandfather's as well. I have searched using his S.S. Number, no results. I was glad to read that George Bell's wishes were fulfilled, and his estate money would help others he cared about. I am not giving up on my grandfather, and one of these days, I may find out what became of him.
8
The Angels are rejoicing. He is home with them. No need for melodrama story, NYT. There is more too existence than a cozy manhattan condo.
1
Great article! Thank you for all the atmospheric details. The writing stayed factual without being overly sentimental. It was a pleasure to read over two days.
2
Kevin did not write that comment. Don't know how I got logged in as him. Sorry about that Kevin.
1
Very touching story. Well written indeed.
George Bell seemed to have a bunch of friends from his moving business days who really cared for him. Eleanor seemed to care for him and try to be in touch but he seemed elusive. Some of them even invited him to visit them. He had the financial resources and physical health to travel around and visit them. If he chose to do, he could keep in touch by other means like email or phone or whatever. Looks like he just chose to cut off all ties. He might have his own reasons. I am not judging that in any way. But once you make such a decision, as depressing as it is, such an ending in inevitable,
I think for every George Bell in this situation, there are 100's who are forced to this fate - no friends, no relatives, no resources......It gets even sadder.
George Bell seemed to have a bunch of friends from his moving business days who really cared for him. Eleanor seemed to care for him and try to be in touch but he seemed elusive. Some of them even invited him to visit them. He had the financial resources and physical health to travel around and visit them. If he chose to do, he could keep in touch by other means like email or phone or whatever. Looks like he just chose to cut off all ties. He might have his own reasons. I am not judging that in any way. But once you make such a decision, as depressing as it is, such an ending in inevitable,
I think for every George Bell in this situation, there are 100's who are forced to this fate - no friends, no relatives, no resources......It gets even sadder.
4
Bravo, bravo NYT for encouraging your journalist to write this lovely, respectful story and giving it top billing. George Ball, a humble, quiet man, might have otherwise faded from the earth without a nod.
The people who treated George kindly after death, as a routine part of the jobs that they do every day, reveal a soul-felt sensitivity and tender understanding of human life, and the inevitability of a death we each face ourselves in a matter of time.
Kleinfield's tracing the hands into which the remnant's of George's earthly possessions, and of George himself, were placed for transfer and final disposition is profound.
After reading this article, no one who has a heart can possibly walk away without being profoundly changed in the way they see and live life.
Thank you.
May the spirit of George Ball tick on, on the arm of the man who is hopefully wearing his $3 watch today, and every day until he too crosses over. And then, may it tick on evermore.
The people who treated George kindly after death, as a routine part of the jobs that they do every day, reveal a soul-felt sensitivity and tender understanding of human life, and the inevitability of a death we each face ourselves in a matter of time.
Kleinfield's tracing the hands into which the remnant's of George's earthly possessions, and of George himself, were placed for transfer and final disposition is profound.
After reading this article, no one who has a heart can possibly walk away without being profoundly changed in the way they see and live life.
Thank you.
May the spirit of George Ball tick on, on the arm of the man who is hopefully wearing his $3 watch today, and every day until he too crosses over. And then, may it tick on evermore.
9
A beautiful and touching tale showing that everyone has a story, if only someone would just pay attention. I teach journalism at Florida International University and plan to share this piece and Mr. Kleinfield's explanation of how he came upon it and created it with my students. It's an example of journalism at its best.
6
There are George Bells within a few hundred feet of where you live. Ask a local real estate agent how often they see hoarder houses. It matters not if you're in a poor or wealthy neighborhood, you'll discover homes far messier than George Bells.
The sad truth is people like George Bell prefer to live hiding their secret pain. While they may be invited into a group by well-meaning acquaintances they just aren't comfortable with the emotional stress. Group communities would be torture.
There may be lessons George Bell can help us learn to improve our own lives.
The sad truth is people like George Bell prefer to live hiding their secret pain. While they may be invited into a group by well-meaning acquaintances they just aren't comfortable with the emotional stress. Group communities would be torture.
There may be lessons George Bell can help us learn to improve our own lives.
4
What a compelling trail N.R.Kleinfield crafted; this story mattered to him and he lovingly brought the circumstances represented by George Bell's passing to all of us: to our consciousness. His words with Josh Haner's images. There is greatness in this article. It has provoked deeply sensitive non political comments representing a variation of attitudes about how we choose to live. Who would think something as easily overlooked as this could inspire such care in crafting. Kudos to the writer, the photographer, NYT for it's contribution to my life and to George Bell - unobstrusive yet, open enough to shout out an invitation to 'have a beer'. Here's to you, Mr. Bell.
2
George Bell was a loser. The man never paid a day's rent in his life and was a momma's boy who lived with his parents until their deaths. Then, he got disability in his early 50's and coasted until his death some 20 years later. He made out better than most of us. He never left home to make it on his own through struggle, worries, debt, sacrifices, risks, victories and defeats. He became obese and depressed about his dismal monotonous life so hoarded. In the end, he kept that will he made years earlier and redeemed himself in death for those inadequacies while living to at least try to help others. Most of us who are on our own, single, married with kids or even a partner, etc., will most likely never be able to do that… to have no financial worries, debt free, no marriage, no kids to raise, no involvement in the community…except for the local bar. Many of us cannot live a life like marking time, getting obese, diabetes, waiting to die. Like his buddy said, he never wanted to talk about personal issues. That made sense because of his most certain lack of educated acumen. The article does not talk about his education. I suspect he either dropped out of high school or barely finished and rarely if ever took the time to even vote. He was a juicer and drank like a fish. "Juicer" was a new word for me regarding imbibing hard drinks. You can still be a juicer and be a productive, contributing member in society. Bell wasn’t until after his death.
4
Wow, Lance....hopefully people with as much compassion as the writer of this article and all of the people who tried to trace his identity will treat you the same way when you pass.
2
So u feel he didn't merit having a story written about his death? U r harsh after all, u never met the guy, u may have liked him even though in your eyes he was a loser. Don't we all have at least one friend like George?
With an attitude like that - making judgements on someone you only know from an article - you will die not just alone but lonely as well.
I believe something changed in George Bell's life that marked his retreat and seemingly chosen isolation. The closure of his favorite tavern?
A clue to his still vital and social nature, even after he became reclusive, is his telling stories to the young woman who lived in a nearby apartment with her parents.
My father, a gerontologic psychiatrist, once told me that I had almost killed my grandfather. He was living alone in a small Iowa town, divorced, keeping books at night for a grain elevator. Every day he would walk down mainstreet, nodding hello and conversing with townspeople on the sidewalk, to buy a cigar at the corner drugstore. I sent my Grampa a box of cigars for Christmas. He loved my gift, but the change in his life was profound when he no longer needed to shave, dress, and go out to make the daily round trip to get his cigar. He recovered when we brought him home to Topeka for a visit.
A clue to his still vital and social nature, even after he became reclusive, is his telling stories to the young woman who lived in a nearby apartment with her parents.
My father, a gerontologic psychiatrist, once told me that I had almost killed my grandfather. He was living alone in a small Iowa town, divorced, keeping books at night for a grain elevator. Every day he would walk down mainstreet, nodding hello and conversing with townspeople on the sidewalk, to buy a cigar at the corner drugstore. I sent my Grampa a box of cigars for Christmas. He loved my gift, but the change in his life was profound when he no longer needed to shave, dress, and go out to make the daily round trip to get his cigar. He recovered when we brought him home to Topeka for a visit.
13
It was a wonderful article. Recently, a friend hanged herself. I noticed I hadn't seen her for awhile and even followed up by asking her BFF where she was. I made a note to call her. The day after I asked about her she hanged herself. If that didn't impress upon me the importance of keeping in touch with people, this article certainly does. It's important to be there, in person, by phone, social media, whatever. You don't have to do anything wonderful. You just have to check in.
5
Thank you to all of the readers who commented that they felt Mr. Bell's privacy had been violated in this article. It is a thoughtful and compassionate stance and wise to look beyond the fact that the writer researched and composed the writing well, and also look beyond the emotions the writing produced in yourself, to the fact that this private man's entire life was laid bare without his consent. With no family available to contest, this writer was able to expose Mr. Bell's life, from the contents of his bank accounts to the contents of his refrigerator and the contents of his greeting card messages. I hope that everyone feels a bit uneasy about this man's life being opened to the world for examination and judgement without anyone to defend his privacy except those that speak up like the readers have done here.
17
There are many people who express this point of view but I would like to say that George himself is responsible for the story of his life as presented here, or really in anyway. If he had made the location of his will and personal papers available to the authorities there would have been no story. He could have left an easily retrievable letter stating where such information could be found in the event of his death. Maybe even with the board of the building he lived in. Or a safety deposit box. A lot of time and effort were expended by many agencies and much money spent to find that he had an estate and just who the people were that were entitled to benefit from that estate.
private: Thank you for that perspective. I too was so engrossed in the beauty of the writing, it did not occur to me, this required an invasive examination [and exposure], that I know I would be mortified if it were my story.
2
Actually, I feel a bit exposed and sick to my stomach by reading this and other comments which assume 'George Bell would be horrified to know his privacy was so exposed'. If he were alive, he no doubt would be embarassed. But the man is not. He's dead. And by far, most readers are treating George Bell with acceptance and compassion. I've seen no comment (but one or two) which blames or shames him. But the ones which 'are horrified' at his 'invasion of privacy', I think, do express blame thereby.
I think he couldn't help letting things get beyond him. Maybe felt his possessions pressing in on him as a sort of remembrance of family.
Anyway, he was clearly caught in a thing, which he didn't have much control over. As someone said, 'it just is'. I do wish the horror - mongers could see this, and find the acceptance and compassion that the tenor of the article offers.
I think he couldn't help letting things get beyond him. Maybe felt his possessions pressing in on him as a sort of remembrance of family.
Anyway, he was clearly caught in a thing, which he didn't have much control over. As someone said, 'it just is'. I do wish the horror - mongers could see this, and find the acceptance and compassion that the tenor of the article offers.
3
Curious that your reporter thought it appropriate to publish personal details of Valentine's Day cards and photos of the deceased person's bathroom sink without his permission. Total lack of respect.
13
I echo many comments re. this compelling, riveting, poignant story of Mr. Bell. It has elicited thoughtful responses that generously share personal perceptions about loneliness in particular.
Photos that exposed his chaotic home disturbed some compassionate readers who considered them disrespectful of a man who had been a hospitable host in earlier times. I believe it essential to this very true story about understanding, not judgement. Individuals living alone in deteriorating health merit the luxury of "letting things go" and or lining their nests with such indulgences as packaged ironing board covers. Recognize and respect fleeting sparkles of comfort.
Photos that exposed his chaotic home disturbed some compassionate readers who considered them disrespectful of a man who had been a hospitable host in earlier times. I believe it essential to this very true story about understanding, not judgement. Individuals living alone in deteriorating health merit the luxury of "letting things go" and or lining their nests with such indulgences as packaged ironing board covers. Recognize and respect fleeting sparkles of comfort.
10
Thank you Mr. Kleinfield for another story that tells us so much about life - you are a gifted man - and lucky because you have found your niche, and you can share it with thousands.
4
I found this story very interesting. Something that I really hadn't thought about was what happens after. Thank you New York Times for printing this story.
1
Forty years ago, during my first year of law school, I dated someone much older than I. An art director for a publisher, he was my emotional finishing school. During our year together, we both faced major illnesses--I with hepatitis (over quickly), and he subsequently with a heart attack (for which there was no post-hospital physio).
When I found out about his hospitalization the day I left hospital myself, I went up to see him. He anxiously gave me his key and asked that I check in on his apartment. It looked rather like George Bell's. The reason for his anxiety was his shame, and he feared I would abandon him. My character nullified such fears, and I cleaned it up prior to his return, and stayed with him through his recovery.
We stayed in touch after we broke up, and he moved with his job to Connecticut. He died in 1983, sadly alone.
To this day I think of him, and the needlessness of loneliness and isolation. Privacy is one thing, retiring from the world is another.
When I found out about his hospitalization the day I left hospital myself, I went up to see him. He anxiously gave me his key and asked that I check in on his apartment. It looked rather like George Bell's. The reason for his anxiety was his shame, and he feared I would abandon him. My character nullified such fears, and I cleaned it up prior to his return, and stayed with him through his recovery.
We stayed in touch after we broke up, and he moved with his job to Connecticut. He died in 1983, sadly alone.
To this day I think of him, and the needlessness of loneliness and isolation. Privacy is one thing, retiring from the world is another.
10
Your last line summed up my sentiments perfectly. Thank you.
The comments have been as fascinating as the article. Everyone seems to find something that resonates within their personal fears, and they display it knowingly or not. I'm enjoying watching everyone's faces exposed in this mirror, if a little saddened and horrified occasionally by those who either miss the point of the article or lack human empathy. May they find find theselves in company with others who display the grace they lack themselves, and that they do not realize we all need.
8
I found the article fascinating, but am left feeling that there's something wrong with a society that puts so many resources into settling the estate of a person that could have used a helping hand in life.
8
Although I applaud the attention given to the George Bells in our society, I thought the writing was surprisingly weak and crude for such a seasoned writer.
3
Wow. Were we reading the same article?
3
This man was lucky. If he hadn't died alone in his own apartment, he'd have ended up in a nursing home, probably sharing a room with a stranger, with no familiar possessions around. They'd make him eat bland tasteless food (worse if they gave him a diabetic diet) and force him to take meds with side effects. Since he's diabetic they'd stick needles in him several times a day and he wouldn't be allowed to refuse. He certainly wouldn't enjoy a drink with his buddies or takeout food that he chose himself. If he fell when the meds made him dizzy they'd force him into a wheelchair and park him in front of a blaring television set, wearing diapers. (No time to assist him to a bathroom or they just don't want to bother.) Lacking strong-willed family members, he'd be subject to abuse (15% of nursing home residents are abused) and probably slapped or hit across the face.
This guy is very, very lucky. The vast majority of the elderly will wind up in a nursing home, with fewer rights than they'd have in a prison and about the same likelihood of being abused.
This guy is very, very lucky. The vast majority of the elderly will wind up in a nursing home, with fewer rights than they'd have in a prison and about the same likelihood of being abused.
34
This is the best comment here!
1
And I think it is because of the common nursing home situation you have described that so many older people want to stay in their own homes. (They know what lies ahead if they leave them.)
Although it may sound like Mr. Bell had a lot of money, that money would not have lasted long (a couple of years maybe) if someone had made a fuss and he had been forced to hire help or pay privately for nursing home care. (He had far too much in income and assets to qualify for any kind of public elder assistance in New York City.) And after his money ran out he would have been forced into the humiliating Medicaid application process.
Although it may sound like Mr. Bell had a lot of money, that money would not have lasted long (a couple of years maybe) if someone had made a fuss and he had been forced to hire help or pay privately for nursing home care. (He had far too much in income and assets to qualify for any kind of public elder assistance in New York City.) And after his money ran out he would have been forced into the humiliating Medicaid application process.
I woke up still haunted but enlightened after reading this portrayal of a life gone privately. I pondered over the photos and became even more absorbed in this telling. It also made me think about my own life and the common denominator we all share in our journey through this life. It is a rarity to find such a literary read in a newspaper and one of the reasons why I subscribe to the NYT.
7
I had to make that call in 2000. For my neighbor Dimitri, a young single gay man from Albania living alone in Chelsea. I never knew what happened after. I never forgot.
6
Rest in peace, George Bell. And thank you N.R. Kleinfield for your article and exquisite writing. Reading about George deeply affected me. My first thought was how sad it seemed that he died alone, a recluse. But based on the article, it sounds like George was social when he wanted to be. Whether he chose to live like he lived on purpose, or because he was embarrassed about his weight or his living conditions, we will never know. But something good has come from his death in that it has helped others ponder their own lives. To those who commented that the article is an invasion of George’s privacy, you may be right. But, if George were watching, maybe he’d actually be happy that his life and death brought something good and that he had a profound affect on so many complete strangers. Maybe, he’s smiling!
8
An extremely well-done article. Many others have commented on the sensitive portrait of George Bell's life. I want to also tip my hat to the public sector employees who worked hard to do right by George Bell after his death.
17
What an outstanding report on a very sad story of a lonely life.
Living alone I have long made certain that everything is in order and all matters are prepared and taken care of. But then I have a son who checks on me daily by phone or E-mail.
Living alone I have long made certain that everything is in order and all matters are prepared and taken care of. But then I have a son who checks on me daily by phone or E-mail.
4
I assume by New York you mean NYC.
A classic. Thank you for writing this. I shall always remember this article and George Bell. And seeing my aging self, as perhaps a bit like him, I shall likewise endeavor to make a few changes in my own life, here and there. A great and beautiful story and much appreciated. Thanks.
P.S. Rest in peace, Mr. Bell, and God bless.
P.S. Rest in peace, Mr. Bell, and God bless.
12
Be sad is you wish, but this story is not rare, this person is not rare. Not unique to a city, any city or town. Happens someplace every day, many places, and always has. I believe nothing can be done to change this. Well done and thank you.
8
Everybody's end after an illness or of old age is the same no matter how you adorn it or how you bare it off the ornaments of company.
At least he died in his own house, living the way he seemed to have chosen as the most comfortable (or less unpleasant) for him. George Bell rest in peace.
At least he died in his own house, living the way he seemed to have chosen as the most comfortable (or less unpleasant) for him. George Bell rest in peace.
9
A fascinating and beautifully written account of a life that societal norms would consider anonymous and "unimportant". The writer has transcended the administrative data and decaying artifacts to find the subsumed human story, reaffirming the old saw that every life truly does matter.
10
It is worthy of comment that a man with no apparent education after high school, who worked as a mover, died with over $200,000 net assets. In today's economy that is becoming less possible. That in turn helps to explain the popular approval of Bernie Sanders' candidacy.
14
He was a teamster. A single man with a union job could do the same today. It's getting a job like that that is hard.
6
@NYCPAT - a union job is hard to come by these days due to the demonization and destruction of unions. Hence again, why people are flocking en masse to sanders.
The finest article I've read in the Times in ages. Almost a memorial of what real "newspapermen" were capable of "in the old days," when almost every big city daily had writers capable of this quality, and editors who would print their work. A bittersweet reminder of what journalism, like George, once was. Hat tip to the Times for still putting the funds and space behind this kind of story, and especially to Mr. Kleinfield for dedicating his considerable skills to remind us, "there's a thousand stories in the City," and every one of them is profound.
20
a mesmerizing read. thank you.
5
George Bell, I speak your name. Rest in peace and power among your ancestors. Ase'!
5
A video documentary titled: "A certain kind of death" covers this type of story quite well, one of the two people it follwoed was George Wright who checked into a motel and died in the shower, no will, no relatives. The documentary follows the paramedics, M.E and crematory, and the county offices who did the paperwork and asset disposal.
3
Very moving documentary, will never ever forget how emotional I felt & cried for these people I never even met. It showed me many things that go on behind the scenes of these types of deaths. Everyone should see it at least once.
A great article - thank you. Indeed it is a reminder how vulnerable we are.
5
The story on George Bell was sad and mostly fascinating to me. I absolutely loved the detail of so much information I had never realized was gathered, investigated, researched, and ultimately uncovered by so many people and was so clearly presented by N.R. Kleinfeld.
It seems to me when we know the story of Geoge's life that really he had chosen how it would be. The saddest thing was the photograph of George and his father on a long ago Christmas. We see there how his parents lived and what would seem to have been George's future. I have not read an article lately though that goes into so much detail and all of it interesting and so want to especially thank Mr. Kleinfeld for not only informing and entertaining but giving much a lot to think about.
It seems to me when we know the story of Geoge's life that really he had chosen how it would be. The saddest thing was the photograph of George and his father on a long ago Christmas. We see there how his parents lived and what would seem to have been George's future. I have not read an article lately though that goes into so much detail and all of it interesting and so want to especially thank Mr. Kleinfeld for not only informing and entertaining but giving much a lot to think about.
5
A very touching and impacting story. The research, writing and pictures made it full and rich. I thank Mr. Kleinfield for his humanity in telling it.
3
Bravo NY Times and N.R. Kleinfield on an exceptionally well and deeply reported, humane story that moved me (and many others) deeply.
4
Thank you so much for this very insightful, and emotionally moving story! It is a fine example of why I continue to subscribe to NYT.
The process of investigating and identifying a person and their connections to the rest of humanity was very enlightening. I witnessed first hand how someone dying alone can play out. A downstairs neighbor of mine was found dead in his condominium after 3 days of last being seen. He seemed to be a friendly man, similar in age, that I chatted with at the communal mailboxes, and would see in the parking garage on occasion. I will never forget that smell of death, having arrived home from work just as the coroner was wheeling the body bag down the hall and out the front door of our building. My neighbor's death made me think about how I should make more of an effort to stay connected with relatives, family members, and the few individuals that I call friends. This article reminds me of the necessity to do just that - maintain some sort of social network and have routine check-ins with others!
The process of investigating and identifying a person and their connections to the rest of humanity was very enlightening. I witnessed first hand how someone dying alone can play out. A downstairs neighbor of mine was found dead in his condominium after 3 days of last being seen. He seemed to be a friendly man, similar in age, that I chatted with at the communal mailboxes, and would see in the parking garage on occasion. I will never forget that smell of death, having arrived home from work just as the coroner was wheeling the body bag down the hall and out the front door of our building. My neighbor's death made me think about how I should make more of an effort to stay connected with relatives, family members, and the few individuals that I call friends. This article reminds me of the necessity to do just that - maintain some sort of social network and have routine check-ins with others!
7
The soundtrack to this story is John Prine's classic "Hello In There"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ85Hep0kD0
That photo of the car auction speaks volumes - about a deranged culture.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ85Hep0kD0
That photo of the car auction speaks volumes - about a deranged culture.
3
What a wonderfully written piece - which I hesitated to read, fearing top-to-toe morosity. Not at all - a montage of the views of the living and the dead; restoring humanity to a statistic, and color to a shadow. I find it particularly moving to learn of how Big George is doing good, almost in spite of himself, in the legacy left simply to friends and ex-sweetheart. Finally - bravo to those who show great courage in the work of clearing a final passage for people like George, a task most of us would only do for relatives, if then.
2
Dear N.R. Kleinfield:
Thank you for honoring George Bell by writing about him. The piece deserves a prize.
Thank you for honoring George Bell by writing about him. The piece deserves a prize.
4
Reading the story and the most readers' recommended comment make me wonder what it is about American society and culture that cause people to choose living alone and die alone rather than living with someone and dying among friends and relatives. Humans are social animals and need, if not crave, human interactions and affection. We don't need social studies to tell us that people live better, longer, and healthier physically and mentally if they do not live alone. Given a choice, most people would choose to live with someone they love or care for. The idea of American individualism and self-sufficiency, thus living alone, is a false idea used to justify a certain selfishness within oneself and a coldness toward other human beings.
2
Wow, I find your comment unenlightened and insensitive. For many and perhaps most, living alone it not a choice, it is simply how the circumstances of one's life turned out.
1
American society is not the only society where this happens. Japan, China, Latam, Southeast Asia, Australia etc. It's everywhere.
What I find deeply affecting about this story is the role that mental disorders and depression might play. One can certainly lead a life that is both solitary and healthy, by maintaining connections with those around you and investing yourself in activities you enjoy. Lord knows I naturally find most social interactions draining and love having my own space, but I still enjoy the company of my close friends and family. Even still, being a hoarder and purposely pushing people away are indications of another beast entirely.
What I took away from this article is that we can all benefit from taking stock of our mental health and being proactive about maintaining it and talking about it, the same way we do about treating physical injuries, eating healthy foods, and becoming physically fit. Talking honestly about your mental state is too often stigmatized even in 2015.
What I took away from this article is that we can all benefit from taking stock of our mental health and being proactive about maintaining it and talking about it, the same way we do about treating physical injuries, eating healthy foods, and becoming physically fit. Talking honestly about your mental state is too often stigmatized even in 2015.
6
Why is everything considered a "mental disorder"?
It's kind of a hysterical leap to jump from my comment, about compulsive hoarding-- a documented mental disorder in the DSM with clear diagnostic criteria-- to "why is everything a mental disorder?" Your comment has that crabby "kids these days" tone to it. This is precisely why there's still such a stigma attached to discussions about mental health.
2
Excellent piece. Be very careful here with your presumptions. Different value systems judge the same facts differently. Social people express horror, pity, sadness for someone so "lonely". Being a loner is a stigma for those who have no choice but to exist in a society. A loner is not crazy, is not sad or pathetic, and can have a very fulfilled existence and be very happy being themselves independent of society's judgements. Go into anyone's house and you will find some odd things that make perfect sense if one knows the context. Maybe he found a sale on a pack of tire gauges where the pack was cheaper than buying one. I don't know. He probably was a hoarder and had some issues after a hard life. Who doesn't? That doesn't make him miserable or even wierd. He had a life. Just like everyone else. Some good; some bad. Sounds like he had some fun too along the way. He didn't hurt anyone; didn't go to jail, didn't screw anyone over (that we know of), supported himself, took care of himself (if not well), and kept to himself. We all die alone even if surrounded by others. People can feel sad for the end of life but don't feel sad for him because he was a loner. There is an implication within the story that somehow his life was "lesser" because he was not surrounded by friends or had few social connections. This is the bias of social people who can't bear the thought of being alone. Loners do fine; they just don't feel the need to let you know.
28
Everybody has a story, don't they?
1
yes, but th vast majority are so inane they are of interest only to th person living it, and often not even to him
Both the Dude and Mr. Kerins sensed he felt he had been bullied too hard by life. “George was in a lot of pain,” Mr. Kerins said. “I think he was just waiting to die, had lived enough.”
Bullied in life and now exploited in death.
Kleinfield gets his fame and we get our thrill at experiencing some false sense of empathy and understanding.
May George rest in peace and the rest of us feel a little shame at having invaded his privacy.
Bullied in life and now exploited in death.
Kleinfield gets his fame and we get our thrill at experiencing some false sense of empathy and understanding.
May George rest in peace and the rest of us feel a little shame at having invaded his privacy.
10
Fantastic, moving article. Thoughtfully written. Thank you, Mr. Kleinfield!
3
Over the past few years I've started noticing that several of my friends (married or single) no longer have people over to their houses. They're still sociable, they still like to come over to our house or meet at a restaurant or elsewhere. But their houses have become cluttered, or they just can't keep up with keeping them as clean as they'd like, so they stop inviting people over.
I don't think this is a great idea, especially for people who don't have a huge social life. Letting people into your home forces you to keep things reasonably clean and orderly. It helps to maintain your social relationships and keeps them healthy and reciprocal. If George Bell had let his buddy, the Dude, come over, maybe the Dude could have helped. Maybe he would have seen that George was a hoarder and was getting dangerously reclusive. I don't know, but I think once you stop letting people into your home, it can be a slippery slope.
RIP George. I hope you had a lot of fun and some sweet times in earlier years...
I don't think this is a great idea, especially for people who don't have a huge social life. Letting people into your home forces you to keep things reasonably clean and orderly. It helps to maintain your social relationships and keeps them healthy and reciprocal. If George Bell had let his buddy, the Dude, come over, maybe the Dude could have helped. Maybe he would have seen that George was a hoarder and was getting dangerously reclusive. I don't know, but I think once you stop letting people into your home, it can be a slippery slope.
RIP George. I hope you had a lot of fun and some sweet times in earlier years...
4
Your comment reminds me of my friends - many of them over the years, when I would come over for a visit they would be profusely apologetic about the mess and clutter of their space. To which I would respond "[friends name], I have been your friend for years. I do not care, there is no reason for you to feel the need to impress me to earn my friendship or company, my place is hardly the bastion of tidiness. No need to apologize or feel shame."
Granted, none of my friends are hoarders, if they were I would gently confront them about their mental state and offer assistance to help them clean.
Granted, none of my friends are hoarders, if they were I would gently confront them about their mental state and offer assistance to help them clean.
This feature demonstrates precisely the character of The New York Times, why it is The New York Times, what makes it The New York Times and why it is the paper of record. 'Nuff said.
2
I also thank you for this very interesting and engaging story.. The overwhelming response says so more about just what strikes people's in a way that most stuff just does not..A real human life story...
1
I cannot believe the length of this article, how much research the author did on both the institutional processing of the deceased, and of Mr. Bell's life.
I think he respected Mr. Bells dignity, but what is the most important thing is how he lived, not how he died. What difference does it make, after we are gone, whether we are in a mausoleum or a garbage dumpster.
I think he respected Mr. Bells dignity, but what is the most important thing is how he lived, not how he died. What difference does it make, after we are gone, whether we are in a mausoleum or a garbage dumpster.
3
I suspect we all see a little of George Bell in ourselves and our lives. Men in particular, who have issues with communicating feelings and emotions.
Beautifully written piece - the only thing I would take issue with was the one photo of the sink. There were framed posters or artworks on the walls. Would have been far more interesting - and dignified - to see what George saw there instead of the rubble you presented.
Beautifully written piece - the only thing I would take issue with was the one photo of the sink. There were framed posters or artworks on the walls. Would have been far more interesting - and dignified - to see what George saw there instead of the rubble you presented.
4
I found this article to be deeply moving. Thank you for writing it and for the NY Times highlighting the article in their paper. George Bell seemed like a nice guy who had problems. Can any of us say we have no problems? I read through the comments section and am bothered by some people who are so quick to pass judgement on others. As if they are somehow superior to George Bell or anyone else. I myself have struggled with depression and am a loner mostly by choice. Although I still have friends and family members who I am close to. I will never be a burden on anyone else. As one person said, never judge anyone until you can walk in their shoes. Try a little empathy towards others it might help you along the way. Also, try practicing the golden rule of treating others like you would like to be treated.
R.I.P George Bell
R.I.P George Bell
3
I'm hoping that "George Bell' was a pseudonym, out of respect for him and for anyone who cared about him. Also, while well written, the article faltered in showing photographs of his apartment. Sensationalism. Not needed when a written description is strong. Featuring these fotos as the lead image was the least interesting, or informative about this man. Also, while the story itself was sympathetic toward "George", the choice to show his life at its worse in these fotos was exploitive. The real story was the trail of functionaries who cobbled his life story together out of what he left behind. An interesting contrast to the speculation about what kind of man "George" was.
6
I respectfully disagree, partly because the closest surviving friends in his life chose to cooperate with this story and, I believe, would not have done so if they felt George would have objected. On the contrary, I consider this article to be a huge and rare act of respect for a man who likely got less than he deserved of it in life.
1
Obviously it was not a pseudonym, given the last photo of the name on the bronze bird nailed to the door of the low-cast crematorium storage room, located in the basement near the bathrooms.
Gratifying that so many writers have commented. This is an important subject, neglected far too long. Now let's see who can "walk the walk."
2
Life is complicated. Relationships are complicated and often difficult. I noted that many, maybe most, of the men in this story are divorced. There is more than one scenario for being lonely. I was 1000 times more lonely when I was married than I am now, living alone with nice dogs. I hope nobody will feel sorry for my solitude, if I should die alone tomorrow; I am not the least bit lonely, but I know what it feels like.
10
My husband has an uncle who has cut off contact with us, and I'm sure we will only hear about his death after the fact, probably much after the fact, when we have to get involved in the dispensation of his estate. The uncle never married, has no children. My husband's father and grandparents are long dead and he is the uncle's only living relative. I am sure some people would say - well, get in touch with the uncle! Get involved in his life! Don't let him die alone! To that, I answer: we have tried, to no avail. Some people build walls around themselves that are impossible to penetrate, no matter how hard you try. My father-in-law (the uncle's only brother) died in a traffic accident 15 years ago, when my husband wasn't even 30. My husband misses his father; has questions about his dad that only the uncle could answer, but the uncle doesn't want to answer them, or really have anything to do with any of us at all. Multiple phone calls, letters, emails, all unreturned. So. I am not sure what we do now - if anyone has any ideas, let me know. We would like to be notified if he dies, and also help out the public administrators in Arizona who would have to search for us if he dies intestate (which we think he will). Is there a way of notifying the state in a case where you know you are the last relative of a person, so they don't have to waste time and taxpayer money searching for you?
69
I had the same thoughts you expressed. Sometimes for various reasons, a persons family is not an option. Family can be painful. One may not be capable of putting certain things behind and perhaps walls are necessary for the little sanity they have. The family is usually where it all starts. Alcoholism and mental illness is rampant in our society. As a society, we tend to minimize alcohol abuse and most who individuals who suffer may never get treatment for what is affecting them due to a lifetime of addictiveness.
I understand your frustrations in trying to make contact with your husbands uncle. What about knocking on the door? It appears to me you have tried everything else to coax him in every way but to no avail. As a means of mitigating your situation may I suggest you use your children (if you have) to write a personal heartfelt letter to him about themselves and their desire to know him and maybe meet him someday. Sometimes, the innocence prevails more than anything else. Should this fail, then it is obvious this person has no desire to communicate at all. The best thing to do at this point is to forget he even exists. I look at it this way, what is the difference if he had died years ago and you never knew him or he still lives today and you never knew him?.... None
The authorities in the jurisdiction where your uncle lives would be able to give you a better idea of whether there is any way to file some official notification.
You might try contacting the public guardian's office in the county he lives in, as a place to start.
So sad to have an elderly relative who rejects all contact.
You might try contacting the public guardian's office in the county he lives in, as a place to start.
So sad to have an elderly relative who rejects all contact.
I scanned and threw out my diplomas and some other mementos recently. Better me than some strangers, or, even worse, my sister-in-law!
1
This morning I received a WhatsApp message from a friend. It was a picture depicting a tranquil lake, a boat and a silhouette of a man. The caption read "Loneliness is dangerous. It's addictive. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't wanna deal with people."
Another friend commented " So true!".
As I read it, I was thinking .... there is confusion between loneliness and solitude here. Also, I felt there was an element of glamour in embracing loneliness or solitude. I wanted my friends to think more deeply about this. I made a mental note to formulate a response and as if on cue I came across this beautiful piece on George Bell, an ordinary man with an extraordinary end. This hit all the right notes on said topic, so I have passed it along to my friends.
Thanks to George Bell, the author, NYTimes, and my friends for making it such a n extraordinary Sunday morning.
Another friend commented " So true!".
As I read it, I was thinking .... there is confusion between loneliness and solitude here. Also, I felt there was an element of glamour in embracing loneliness or solitude. I wanted my friends to think more deeply about this. I made a mental note to formulate a response and as if on cue I came across this beautiful piece on George Bell, an ordinary man with an extraordinary end. This hit all the right notes on said topic, so I have passed it along to my friends.
Thanks to George Bell, the author, NYTimes, and my friends for making it such a n extraordinary Sunday morning.
109
There is a dialogue in Wild Strawberries: “And the punishment?” “The usual,” the examiner says. “Loneliness..."
1
Three questions. 1. Where's the opt-out form so I can avoid having my personal business splattered on front page of NY Times after my lonely demise? 2. Why are all of these government employees sharing this guy's business? Sure, he's dead, but I doubt his will said anything about helping the public administrator get publicity. 3. How can GreenEx employees get away with taking this guy's stuff? Shouldn't they put unopened Nike socks or whatnot in some kind of donation bin? Wearing his boots while cleaning his place? Taking away a man's obvious desire for privacy post-death is disgusting.
13
This raises a perception of New York life which may not be accurate. Many of us to suburbia starting in the 1960's for local clubs warmly welcostming those of common interest. more local shops and restaurants and activities we enjoy than might be left in city neighborhoos, neighbors who warmly greet you on the street by name, shopkeepers who personalize their special treatment toward you and the opportunity for those who must live alone to garner many friends, visitors etc. to entertain at home. Even when we still regularly visit the city for things we enjoy we feel we still have this in the suburbs yet those wishing to stay in the city or emigrate from areas of lower population density may nevr find it even should they crave it.
1
This is a wonderful article - it describes an aspect of modern New York life (or rather: of modern life) that is almost unknown to the public. This article tells a story full of respect for living and dead persons. I appreciate both the depth of researching and the style of writing.
Dieter Walz, Frankfurt/Germany
Dieter Walz, Frankfurt/Germany
5
The great equalizer, death. No matter whether one dies alone and lies dead unnoticed, or takes a final breath in the surround of loved ones: the result for the life that once was is the same. I do not feel pity for Mr. Bell for while he was alive, he lived as he chose. Just because his apparent life experience does not meet up with society's expectations of a life well-lived and a death well-tended hardly means he did not find his life fulfilling.
5
Years ago I dated a woman who had moved to the US from South Korea. She said that back home one had a great social life with lots of group activities but not much opportunity to earn good money. The US she said was the opposite, where one could work and make great money but there was much less emphasis on having a good social life. I like our do-what-you-want individualism. But when I read stories like George Bell's I do sometimes wish we had a more collective culture that would push us out of our social isolation.
1
It's a great article for the Front Page. Instead of a litany of the daily atrocities, about which we are mostly powerless to do anything, this type of article causes thinking about actions we can all take in our own lives.
6
Thank you for taking the time to research and write about the life of George Bell. It is so easy for all of us to walk past the people around us. Life is short, and everyone has a story. You reminded me to slow down today.
5
It was good to know the whole man. I feel sorry for how he lived the last years of his life, it looked like he really struggled, but I'm happy that we, as a society, treated him w/ care and dignity in death despite how he lived, the circumstances of his death & his ability to pay. It was poignant to see how much he cared for his friends in death. Thank you N.R. Kleinfield and the NYT for your humanity.
3
I read this article and thought how similar I am to Mr. Bell. How easily this can become me. Will those thoughts, spurred by this article, cause me to make changes in my life in order to avoid such a fate? It's out of my hands, I think, because fate is what it is. Thanks for the article? Maybe. I'm not sure.
6
I may have just read part of my own future.
8
As someone who does this exact job, this article hit way close to home. Often times, I don't stop and think about how my work affects me. This article provided some much-needed perspective and introspection.
I work in Los Angeles, the biggest county in the country (I think). I think we get the most amount of referral for such cases.
I work in Los Angeles, the biggest county in the country (I think). I think we get the most amount of referral for such cases.
73