Thanks Gail. I love these quizzes.
Thank you, as always, Ms. Collins, for a fun column. Too bad it's so easy to laugh at these clowns nowadays. Don't you sometimes wish you had nothing to write about?
1
I'm ashamed to admit how well I did on this quiz.
3
One thing I learned at Trump University as a double major in Grammar/Syntax & Divinity. Wait is that two or three? Anyhow, I believe Trump's election was divine intervention (and I'm secular) although its obvious that the supreme being has wry sense of humor.
2
This is the most depressing column I have read in a long time.
3
My advice on how not to sweat from politics: stay apolitical and believe in life as an eternal struggle between Good and Evil. Once one has an upper hand, once the other. On balance, everything eventually (and hopefully) balances out.
I did okay, Gail, so, once again, I await that diploma in the mail. Funny, Trump University never sent one either. I figure that this is good for at least a master's.
You're right about the rôle of vacation, but I started to get a little anxious and sweaty during your exam. I mean, what are the consequence of failing it? I wouldn't be able to get that communications director job in the Trump White House (I'm trying to fake the ability to bake cookies). A certificate from Gail Collins would go miles in applying for that job... well, maybe not.
Here's to an uneventful Summer.
2
I missed 3 but it was a fake survey put together by Leprechauns who have a reputation for making stuff up!
3
Labrador vs Retriever must now happen!
3
I've been involved in politics for so long ('60) I can rightfully state: No, this does not make me sweat. It has many family and friends who, though I love them so, are not that attuned to the political winds which can change course at a moment's notice. When one throws in something so obviously obsolete as the Electoral College, well, you've got trouble in River City.
How can one explain this? People who voted twice, that's twice, for President Obama, then go and vote for a misogynist racist? That defies logic, but not politics. Why do you think they say it makes strange bedfellows? You never know what the American Electorate is going to do because neither do they.
They did not trust Hillary, they loved Bernie. OK, that still being the case, one has to be deplorably ignorant to then vote for a bona fide charlatan lowlife like Trump. Or worse, sit out the election because poor Bernie did not win the nomination because too many Dems viewed the primaries as a rigged process. These people apparently haven't a clue how their own party operates, know its by-laws, ones which all Democratic candidates have to abide by. This is stupidity in spades by so-called smarty-pants Liberals. They sure showed Hillary a thing or two, didn't they?
People refused to back Hillary because they thought she and con man were one and the same. They are the fools, as compliant in the election of Trump as those who voted for him.
DD
Manhattan
15
Dennis--I am mystified, as well. There is no rational explanation.
1
I love these quizzes. Hard to believe some of that stuff happened. But alas, it did. As the country whirls further down the toilet bowl, heading for the sewer, one has to ask: is it really worth it keeping this blob together as one? What event would make governance possible again? With all due respect to the traveling pair who visited all the localities and found nothing but bliss, even local government is a mess. Why? Glad you asked. Lack of acceptance of our responsibility to the public body. It goes all the way down to the homeowners association level. At work I see it, nobody admits a mistake. Always someone else's fault. So what is the way out? I have some ideas. However they do not include attempting to resurrect an idea formulated in 1789 by a bunch of slave owning cretans and their enablers in yankeeville.
3
Gail, how about an answer key?
1
I don't like this. Quit trivializing important issues.
You're absolutely right! Although she didn't even mention Kim Kardashian helping with prison reform and sentencing guidelines. You see, if you don't trivialize it, your head explodes.
4
The photo of the sexy guy on his flag is gratuitous exploitation of his ilk.
2
These are all the things that will be wiped from our memory bank of useless info as soon as Traitor Trump is out of the WH and takes his misfit family and advisors with him.
1
"orange" huh? Missed that one. Don't hear "rotten orange' so much, now apples, yeah.
1
That I actually considered Remember T. Alamo a distinct possibility.
1
Truly an bunch of geniuses. I'm disgusted, depressed, and enraged. Yes, I could use a break, but I don't want to take my eye off the ball/circus. I want to stay informed.
2
"Remember T. Alamo"? Made my day, which shows you how our days are going theses days with Trump and the GOP in charge.
Remember humor?
There doesn't seem to be any with Trump, his worst-ever cabinet, and the key GOP players. I think Tillerson and some of the people who already left Planet Trump or were fired actually may have had a sense of humor. However, dictators and demagogues like Trump, Kim, etc. typically only think what they say is funny and expect everyone else to keep their jokes to themselves and to laugh ha-ha--or applaud loudly at the dictator's often mean-spirited jokes for far longer than warranted.
Most of all, there is nothing funny about Trump and his terrible, dreadful, destructive cabinet and what they are doing to our political culture and former democracy.
Anyway, I am happy to say I did quite poorly on the quiz--10 out of 14. Besides trying to eat healthy foods, take walks, do my lymphedema exercises daily, and drink healthy red wine, I have been reducing my stress level by reading less about the everyday corruption, collusion, chaos, and catastrophes (plural) of the Trump administration, the authoritarian right, and what Fox News tells/lies to its avid audience.
I just realized that some of our best presidents have display not only humor but wit (Lincoln, JFK, Obama). These presidents also enjoyed a good laugh at other people's jokes, which I think is a sign of mental health. Do you think the Democrats can find one of those to run in 2020?
4
Yes, and it's not a healthy sweat like the ones I get from physical exertion. It's a cold one. It comes from the fear of what Trump and the GOP and the likes of the Koch Brothers and their ilk are doing to our country. And the Supreme Court, Jefferson Sessions, Betsy DeVos, and others are helping them. But we elected Trump so what does that make us?
3
I only scored a "C" on this test...
Often I was the victim of wishful thinking...especially the Trump questions...
2
I missed three. I NEVER miss any on Gail's quizzes. Too many crazy Republicans to keep track of, I guess!
3
Only eleven out of fourteen?
Well actually, it was twelve because on #6 I picked answer #1 because it just seemed best. So actually I got thirteen. Except that on one of the others I did pick the right answer but accidentally hit the wrong one … or maybe you changed it on me as part of a secret agenda. Democrats do stuff like that. So I got thirteen. And the other 'wrong' answer was really right because I picked the answer that should have been right but you said it was wrong, just like you'd expect from the (failing) NYT. So I got them all.
I'm the best! And the biggest crowd ever to gather on the face of the earth is roaring its approval!
I think I'll go out and insult somebody to celebrate.
9
Anyone reading this list 10 years in the past and the correct responses would think that they were watching a skit from SNL. You just can't make things like this up. We have become the world's biggest farce. Thank you Donald for embarrassing us.
16
Mr. Guiliani is quite correct about men being disposable. After being dumped by three wives and god only knows how many girlfriends, he is an excellent example of a disposable man.
7
Ain't no cure for the summertime blues in this summer quiz.
"One of the two finalists for the Republican governor’s nomination in Georgia ran an ad in which he … Points a shotgun at a teenage boy."
... did he say while doing so, "I'd like to help you, son, but you're too young to vote"?
4
Just as an incidental comment, is it really a good idea to show someone using what looks like an American flag as a beach blanket?
Larry--Don't be ridiculous. It's a towel. Or, it's just a piece of fabric. Lighten up.
3
"Truth is relative" ??? Really? I guess my parents brought me up funny telling me to always tell the truth not realizing I could be telling the "relative truth".
You can't make this stuff up that keeps spewing from the swamp.
4
This is the first time I got 100% on one of your quizzes. I must be paying attention or else I have your sense of humor, Gail.
1
The James Comey quote had me laughing. Have you noticed Trump appears to have gone back to fake tanning as well? The raccoon tan is a dead give away. Maybe it's just a sunglasses tan from all the time he spends in Florida though. Either way, I'm ticked when the President has a better tan than me and it's not even June yet. I get the distinct feeling my tax dollars are not being properly utilized. Factual evidence would appear to support this suspicion.
5
Re #3: Rudy’s claim that “truth is relative” is going to be engraved onto prison walls along with that other Kellyanne Trumpism about “alternative facts”. Whether 2 + 2 = 4 depends on the circumstances.
6
I had no clue on 8 of 14, and took a chance on the most outrageous and unlikely choice - "Points a shotgun at a teenage boy." - And I was right!?!?!?
The same for the rest of the answers - simply choose the wackiest possible answer if it has to do with a Republican. I could not believe Comey called trump "Orange" but give how far fetched the correct answer was, it helped me with the rest of the test.
I hope Mueller and all of us survive Summer.
7
9 of 14.
In my small corner of the country, the black flies and deer ticks have taken over. Believe it or not, they are almost as annoying as Trump, et al. but easier to swap and crush so I am dealing with local issues.
4
I got a perfect score! But this reminds me of one of those personality quizzes where getting a high score means you have big problems.
9
OK. 8/9. Ready for a break. But only if I can get that photo of those swim trunks out of my mind ... Thank you, Gail Collins.
1
Funny ( as usual )
I want to write that the more we make jokes and somehow try to make sense of what is happening all around us, the more we ''normalize'' them. That is the biggest thing that scares me > that apathy will take over yet again, and somehow and someway (with possible help from a foreign power), republicans will hold onto power by the slimmest of margins yet again. (and then rule like a monarchy yet again as well)
Can I take ''none of the above'' ?
4
Funky--Joking means we're paying attention and not getting sucked into the vortex. Humor will save the world.
1
Somehow, passing this quiz with a perfect score was perfectly depressing.
4
Well, I guessed it was "Remember T. Alamo."
Here's what Bunni says about herself though:
"Bunni Pounds is a teacher, worship leader, and church planter in Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas. She is bi-vocational with a career in politics supporting people that she believes in and taking the Kingdom of God into the spheres of power within our nation. She is living life on purpose to make Jesus famous."
Hmmm ... I don't recall Jesus telling anyone to "make him famous." And I do remember Jesus talking about "render unto Caesar, that which is Caesar's.
12
I usually get 100% right on Gail's quizzes. Tonite I got 10 out of 14. I attribute this to a recent two week stay in Paris. Twas wonderful to wake up to coffee and fresh pear juice instead of the morning tweetstorms from SCPOTUS.
6
The scary thing is that on every question, all the multiple choice answers sound plausible.
8
"... Pruitt responded ..." (#10 of 14):
I had the my bomb-proofed limo sound-proofed also and the windows tinted so I would not be bothered by stuff like that. Now, go away."
4
I'm not sure whether to be proud or disturbed that I got 14 out of 14 correct. Obviously, I need a break. (I did guess on a couple of these, to be fair.)
1
I did very poorly with only 50%.
That makes me happy.
I seem to be weaning myself off the depressing daily news addiction I've suffered since 2015 when this whole mess began.
1
This one was tough. All the answers could be true.
4
As for Jared, you should have included a question about his finally being given the security clearance he should have been required to have on Jan. 21, 2017.
1
What is it with right wingers and their penchant for using the flag for beach towels, bikinis, sweat bands and wife beaters. They all need to go to a memorial service for a veteran and see how the flag is treated.
11 out of 14 Not too bad
5
I got 14 of 14! I'm already on vacation but I haven't been able to clear my mind of this slimy mess. Just reading this and I feel the need for a shower. Swamp Indeed!
1
13 out of 14, following months of boycotting all TV news and slamming down the radio snooze button at the first sound of Trump's voice, no matter the subject matter. It's depressing to confirm how much nonsense filters through.
2
I never know whether to be depressed or feel informed when I do well on these quizzes.
39
I literally started feeling anxious when remembering it all. My hands started sweating.
Time to go exercise and get rid of this stress.
5
This was fun. Please do it again.
4
15 of 14.
At the quickly-convened junket called by Nancy Pelosi as a treat to fellow travelers to celebrate the self-immolation of Roseanne Barr, Nancy was heard to make the following comment:
1. “I’m not in favor of women who are forced to wax mustaches.”
2. “One less bottle of beer on the wall, one less bottle of beer …”
3. “I paid more for my store-bought teeth than she did; but hers look better – it’s SO unfair! Let’s make a law!”
16 of 14.
Defensive at the fact that practically all the entertainment and news celebrities snagged by #MeToo are liberals, Elizabeth Warren responded at a news conference by saying:
1. “They aren’t really liberals. They’re deep-state embeds that Trump put there to throw the scent off cahooting.”
2. “Did you know that I’m descended from our only tribe of blonde, blue-eyed, indigenous Americans?”
3. “So what? Men, of any ideological stripe … are disposable.”
17 of 14.
The president of Italy nixed the choice of key positions within the newly-elected coalition erstwhile “government”, causing it to fail and forcing new elections because:
1. There was too much evidence emerging suggesting that parliamentary systems actually work.
2. He feared the reaction of an Italian populace that absolutely refuses to be bored by government.
3. He needed to cover-up the inability of Italy to front the real money (euros) to print a raft of new lira.
Oxymoron: An impossibility; a contradiction in terms. Ex.: Republican humor.
7
@Richard: Re "16 of 14": Most of the politicians snagged by #MeToo are conservatives (Al Franken excluded). Just saying...
5
Glen:
The extent of my humor remains in seeing how Republicans dominate TX elected offices, regardless of the five people there who actually vote who don't find Republican humor effective.
1
13 out of 14 which means I really need to find the location of a Trump Free Zone and spend some time there. Also, not to quibble, but Comey did call Trump 'insecure' as well as orange. Orange is the international symbol of insecurity. It's when you're neither red nor yellow and somehow both at the same time.
22
Some of the wrong answers are so right you want to pick them. Meanwhile most the right answers are so wrong, from any sane point of view, one feels conflicted upon seeing the green light upfor yes! Nasty Gail! And just before summer vaycay!
26
So disappointed we aren't graded!
2
Oh my. I only got 9 out of 14 right! Maybe I should blame it on medication. How dare Roseanne Barr hide behind ambian!
8
@BSR: After having taken many of Gail's wonderful quizzes, I have to say that this was a little trickier than usual. I missed three (a politician pointing a gun at a teenage boy in an ad? That CAN'T be the correct answer I said to myself!!).
3
Hmmm, I didn't know what Comey had called Trump. Comey seems to me to be plain clueless sometimes, like when he doesn't realize he threw the election to Trump! Of course he realizes what he did!
Roger Retriever couldn't be much better than that Labrador. They're so much alike. People with money tell them to "fetch" and off they go, doing that billionaire's bidding. Swimming out into that swamp like big dumb dogs.
Has anybody seen any old and wiser Irish Setters running around in Idaho? A wise Irish Setter is kinda contradiction in terms, maybe what we need is a cattle dog in Congress. Nip fascism in the nether regions! Cattle dogs are good at that! Go get 'em girl!
19
The year is not yet halfway through, but there is enough sleaziness remembered here to count for a scandalous full term in a sane world. Then again, in a sane world, Trump would still be relegated to reality TV, and we would hold no stake in how the plot unfolds...
10
I didn't do very well
Maybe that means I am starting to ignore some if this stuff
14
I’ve been living in Georgia and had to Google Republican candidate points gun at teenager.
Yep Brian Kemp! Four GOP candidates for governor. Since the leading candidate is Cagle the guy who stopped a $40 million tax break for Delta--Georgia’s LARGEST private employer of 33,000 Georgians all because they stopped giving discounts to NRA members on their way to the NRA convention. You know the convention where the Secret Service did NOT allow anyone to carry a gun into the convention hall as VP Mike Pence was the keynote speaker along with Oliver North. (I can’t believe I just typed that--Oliver North?) Hypocrisy thy name is the NRA!
Georgia is a “guns everywhere” state--college campuses, churches, children’s playgrounds, even non-secure sections of the Atlanta airport--BUSIEST airport in the world.
These southern states are horrendous. Why did we fight a war to get them back into the USA? Pecans?
71
Teeth gnashing, for sure and the reason I refuse to fly into the airport even though I love the state. Voters there have to keep the spotlight on politicians bent on disenfranchising voters. The state relies on paperless touch-screens proven to be insecure and hackable--and has promoted a restrictive system for adding new voters to the rolls that has late as the 2016 election disenfranchised tens of thousands of minority voters. Look for other voter suppression tactics. And with touch-screens it's not that difficult to commit electronic vote fraud.
"How to hack elections on Georgia’s electronic voting machines - Apr 17, 2018
https://politics.myajc.com/news/state--regional-govt--politics/how-hack-...
Georgia settles federal lawsuit alleging it blocked thousands of minority voters
https://www.ajc.com/news/state--regional-govt--politics/georgia-settles-...
Did computer-aided fraud play a role In Georgia's special election upset?
https://www.mintpressnews.com/laughing-their-ossoff-did-computer-aided-f.
7
Sadly, SC is not much better. Catherine Templeton has an ad in which she purportedly shoots a snake--which is illegal in SC.
I was shocked when I visited my parents before moving back to SC and saw "No guns allowed" signs everywhere--restaurants, even the cable company. They are allowed in bars too, if owners don't ban them.
It's crazy, but what's crazier is that so many people are so afraid that they carry a concealed weapon everywhere. One of my neighbors carries his gun everywhere, even to the recycling center.
1
The Republicans say terrible things about Democrats. The Democrats say terrible things about Republicans. I believe them both!
Daniel Boone may have had the right idea when he headed off into the wilderness, moving farther in when signs of politicians approaching showed on the horizon. The trouble is that there is no more wilderness in which to hide.
I am trying self-hypnosis and deep meditation. I also am drinking more.
17
And with Scott Pruitt minding the store not only will the wilderness be gone so will the grass and trees and water.
Weeeeeeeee! You get the government you deserve.
4
This is undoubtedly the hardest multiple guess test i have taken since my college biology exam (no one told me this class was used to convince freshmen they should be pre-law not pre-med). Given Trump/Rudy G world every darn answer seems realistic........
6
I definitely need a vacation from the news - I got 13 out of 14. Holy moly, did Comey actually call Trump "Orange" in public?
11
The comment from Comey is from his book that I am reading....”A Higher Loyalty.”
He was recounting his one on one with Trump and setting the scene as one does in writing, he was taken aback by how ORANGE Trump was.
5
Reflecting on the two I missed:
1) One of Blankenship's TV ads featured him twice mentioning the explosion at his mine that killed 29 miners. No, he didn't blame that on his loss himself, but it's not much of a stretch to imagine, is it?
2) Given how corrupt Scott Pruitt has shown himself to be, I can well imagine him justifying lights and sirens because he was headed to a swank restaurant.
And that's the state of our political system - and my mental fatigue in trying to keep up with it all.
12
Catstaff -- Blankenship only mentioned the Upper Big Branch Mine explosion to sell his "alternative facts:" that it was a a government conspiracy against him that caused the mine disaster.
You can read more about it here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upper_Big_Branch_Mine_disaster
Including "Investigators also say that the U.S. Department of Labor and its Mine Safety and Health Administration were at fault for failing to act decisively at the mine even after Massey was issued 515 citations for safety violations at the Upper Big Branch mine in 2009. "
1
I highly recommend that you continue with this exercise of brain matter biweekly. It was fun, sad, and a reality check for me.
7
Okay, Gail, I missed 4.
Please set this up more often because it's all a blur after 4 days.
My favorite was Blankenship, 7/14.
How about a BIG one for the 4th?
2
Laughing fit to bust over your summer quiz. Crying fit to bust over your summer quiz, Gail! Do you think Trump deserves apologies from the Disney/ABC honchos who canned Roseanne and effectively shut her social media Ambiened mouth?
6
Dang, missed two.
3
Me, too.
Honoring the flag?
2
Oh Gail. So funny. Yet so sad. This is our president and administration. Am I the only one longing for Seamus and the car roof?
17
I think you might have offered a fourth alternative in Question 13 "to conceal HR decisions."
That is, after all, something ex-CEO Tillerson could cite based on first-hand knowledge.
3
All the things I am trying my hardest to forget. And not read. And hope it is all just a bad dream.
12
How many did I get right?
None! I'm a Liberal. Well on most issues. I did attain a high percentage score and wonder if that suggests that I need to get a life?
I did learn something from this excellent piece. I now know that all it takes to cause Betsy DeVos to focus on improving our public schools is a well made Pastrami Sandwich....with a Kosher Dill on the side!
13
Well, I guess it's happened. My mind is finally and completely saturated with head-spinning, whiplashed facts and unending angst. I won't report my score, but I was advised to "Try again." How could I have missed Comey's brilliant adjective ORANGE? Or a Georgian gubernatorial candidate running an ad with a gun pointing at a teenage boy? Thank you, Gail, for helping us through this real life neo-noir DC production with humor and wit. But I have to tell you, just hearing Trump's minions at his rally last night chant "Animals!" when the Orange One (love that on so many levels) began his lying rant about immigrants, well, it made me even more scared. This time not only concerning Trump but now also his rabid supporters. Keep it up anyway, Ms Collins. we, or at least I, need you. Oh, and to add just a little joy to our otherwise bleak state-of-affairs, we are now Roseanne-free. How about sticking with the likes of Blackish or Modern Family, ABC?
19
Hail to the Ashes of Burnt Facts !
Hail to an Administration fundamentally opposed to telling the truth.
Hail to the Bone Spur-In-Chief leading America over his personal narcissistic cliff.
Hail to the Environmental Pollution Agency Administrator who is raping the Earth for a few extra dollars.
Hail to Betsy Devos, who is injecting her Amway Kingdom of Christ and Perverted Prosperity Gospel into America's young minds while dispensing with actual education.
Hail to Mike Pence, who is honoring every sacred male sperm in America by forcing it into a pregnancy whether women like it or not; three cheers for intellectual rape, two cheers for incest and one cheer for regular rape and a thousand boos for contraception.
Hail to the hijacked Supreme Court, who think corporations are people, and people should be subject to corporate arbitration... justice, fairness and equity be damned to a company-appointed arbitrator.
Hail to Guns Over People and the next NRA-GOP-sponsored act of domestic white Christian male terrorism at one of America's public schools to be named later.
Hail to TrumpCare....“I am going to take care of everybody … Everybody’s going to be taken care of much better than they’re taken care of now.”
Hail to Republican voter suppression laws, Hillary Salem With Trials and Russian-Republican treason which made this abortion of democracy possible in the first.
Let us never forget who flushed America down this fetid Trump Toilet.
November 6 2018.
Vote !
95
November 6 2018. Vote!
Soc,
I wish we are voting for permanent divorce from Dixie.
The sooner, the happier, for us and them.
5
“Truth is relative.”
Of course it is, if you're a liar, con-man, grifter or President of the United States.
I didn't know Comey called Trump "orange." That struck me laugh-out-loud funny. Thanks, Gail.
34
I didn't read his book, but he talked about it on at least one talk show.
1
Thanks for a good laugh, Gail. Roger Retriever... love it!
35
Gail neglected to include this one:
After having been informed that John McCain did not wish to have him attend his funeral, President Trump was heard to mutter...
"I'm going anyway, and to hell with the flowers."
"Well, then, I don't want him coming to MY funeral."
"Just for that, I'll stage a campaign rally across the street from the funeral chapel. Let's see who gets the bigger crowd."
"I like people who don't get brain cancer, okay?"
114
Actually, the correct response is "No collusion."
40
Ms C, i'm trying to forget
The ways Trump keeps me so upset,
The Spies and the Hoaxes
The whoppers he coaxes
With his thumb to forefinger yet.
The trade deals that he doesn't make,
That he's never made a mistake,
His year of not learning
The way that he's yearning,
No Nobel? And doomed to heartbreak.
66
Rudy says "Truth is relative"
I guess that when your brain's a sieve
It's all you've got
that's not a lot
a story for that bridge to give
1
I didn't know about Scott Pruitt's siren deal! We were just in Russia and I was telling the story to my husband that I had read, years ago, about how corrupt officials (maybe not officials only, but wealthy people) would use the sirens to go through traffic in the 90's.
We are now at where Russia was in the 90's, which was the most chaotic, corrupt times in Russia. WOW!
48
Is that Chris Christie in solitary splendor at the beach he prevented his "subjects" in New Jersey from using last summer? That picture deserves a caption, even if it is a different overweight slimeball than our corrupt and corrupting head of state: http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2017/07/christie_pictured_at_island...
How could I have missed two? But I'm glad I guessed right on Bunni Pounds beating Pence after the wonderful "Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo".
45
susan i thought the same thing but that man doe not appear to be that large. plus i missed 4. aaargh.
14
I checked out your link--now how can I un-see it?
I suspect the message in the Times' picture is not the bather, but his choice of what to lay on. You can interpret it either as, he is a proud patriot who really likes flags, or he is displaying his contempt for flags. I suspect it is actually the former.
5
You’re kidding.
That’s a pic of a well tanned man in great shape.
Christie?
4
If Mr. Trump were not in a position of such power, his behavior might be considered no more than amusing antics. But he is president. His lack of decency, decorum and knowledge are both shocking and harmful to our country and its citizens.
For the questions that I was unfamiliar with, I found the most outrageous answer was often the correct one. Very scary.
19